I Fell in Love with Hope - Lancali

Your mind is a palace greater than the one we live in. Within it, you
hide secrets and the details of peoples’ lives: The line of a song that
made C sink into his seat with peaceful suspire. Neo’s favorite chair
in the library, the one you always save for him. The candies Sony
munches on and the properties she always buys in monopoly.
Let it be said that you are a sun, but you are also a girl and you are
flawed in the most smile inducing ways. You’re messy, clothes
strewn about your floor with no shelf empty of a plant. You never fail
to get crumbs and chocolate on
your face. You can be blunt and mean, but I know you don’t mean to
be. Your humor is cynical, but I’ve never met a person quite so
willing to dream.
There are scary parts of you, the darker parts of you. The thoughts
of self-hatred bite at your pride because you fell into a pit with a
greedy animal. It convinced you to cut away at your skin till it
became hilled with scars. It ate your joy, your pain, everything you
had until all that was left was the shell of your body, but you
survived. You crawled out of the pit and left the animal to starve
while you quenched your hunger with books, risks, and a little wind. I
promised to protect you from it, from all the shadows, and to never
cower would I need to stand between you and their jaws.
I cowered in the face of you instead because I am weak. I am a
cowardly creature who couldn’t resist your warmth but was too afraid
to let myself feel it.
You are warm. You are beautiful. You are kind. You are passionate.
You are resilient. And you are lonely just as I am.
I know you may not forgive me for shutting my eyes and saying I
couldn’t see your pain, but I am sorry. I’m sorry for letting my past
keep me from appreciating the present you gave me.
I want to share it with you, Hikari. I want to show you, even in the
darkness of a hall where hearts were once healed, that we can be