I Fell in Love with Hope - Lancali

“I don’t understand.”
“We’re going to die,” Neo says, “So what? Everyone dies, and
everything ends. Sometimes endings are abrupt. They hit you in the
face and it’s too soon and it’s unfair, but that doesn’t matter. The last
page doesn’t define the book.
Time will cease, Disease will fester, and Death will die. We promised
we would
kill those bastards, remember? So get over yourself. Get over this
fear you have of existing and stop walking behind us. You’re not just
our narrator, you’re a part of our story. You’re my friend,” he says,
furious, as if my greatest sin was believing that I am a skull and not a
soul.
“You have the right to live,” he says, banishing any other notion. “You
live by going after what you want. Tell us what you want, Sam.”
Neo is a writer. His words ring true, give a certain chill. He has the
power to make you fall into them. I take both his hands on my face
and remember a time when he was the one on the ground, hollow
and crying.
I wanted to comfort him. I wanted to be there for him. Just as I
wanted to be there for Sony when her mother died. Just as I wanted
to be there for C
when he needed the courage to claim Neo’s heart.
All I ever wanted was to understand. I wanted the people I came to
see pass through these halls to survive. Now, looking at the sun
kissing my friends with such adoration in the light, I know I want to
see them, not just survive, but live. And selfishly, at this exact
moment, I want something for myself.
I learn to stand back up from my fall. I trudge through the puddles
where the watch lays and pick it from the ground, wiping the tears off