9781529301496

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personal advantages and disadvantages, strengths andweaknesses. In fact, there is nobody on planet Earth withthe same biological make-up, life experience or socialadvantages or disadvantages as you. You are by any logicaldefinition unique, so any comparison is inherently andlogically unfair. According to an in-depth research paper byCarmen Carmona and her colleagues at the Department ofSocial and Organizational Psychology, our upward socialcomparisons typically foster feelings of helplessness,jealousy and inferiority, which will jeopardise our sense ofidentity and create an increased risk of feeling burnt out.Not a good idea.‘I am so much happier and more successful than they are’is an example of a downward social comparison; you look‘down’ on someone that you believe is in a worse socialposition than you and determine that you or your situationis better than theirs. Again, it’s not an inherently fairexercise as the individuals you look down on have their ownunique biological dispositions, life experiences and socialadvantages and disadvantages, but we all occasionallycompare ourselves with those who are worse off or lesscapable than ourselves in an effort to boost our own feelingsof well-being and self-esteem. The science shows that thiscan work but only temporarily.
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Page 2 and 3: ABOUT THE AUTHORPhotograph by Rick
Page 4 and 5: HAPPY SEXY MILLIONAIREUnexpected tr
Page 6 and 7: 50 Victoria EmbankmentLondon EC4Y 0
Page 8 and 9: 15 MY ASSISTANT CAN’T TALK TO ME
Page 10 and 11: When I look back at this page, I wa
Page 12 and 13: That is exactly why I had to write
Page 14 and 15: Chapter OneDON’T ANTAGONISE THE S
Page 16 and 17: middle-class school full of 1,500 w
Page 18 and 19: happiest man on earth. I was convin
Page 20 and 21: Maybe you’ve always beenhappy, bu
Page 22: THERE ARE TWO kinds of games we pla
Page 25 and 26: I saw happiness assomething I could
Page 28 and 29: How can corporations sell you shit
Page 31 and 32: Chapter ThreeCONTRAST: GREAT FOR SU
Page 33 and 34: constant rational thought - we simp
Page 35 and 36: If by some miraculous biological im
Page 37 and 38: The only worthwhilecomparison is YO
Page 39 and 40: SO, HOW DO you beat that lazy CEO i
Page 41: devastating risk that the world’s
Page 45: Social media has made‘perfect’
Page 48 and 49: AT 18 YEARS OLD, I was unemployed a
Page 50 and 51: If a person could do only onesimple
Page 52 and 53: anaesthetised guy I had just spoken
Page 54 and 55: parent/partner/boss, it’s hard fo
Page 56 and 57: Maslow stated that our most basic n
Page 58 and 59: Live in accordance with youroutside
Page 60: music to take me back in time or ph
Page 63 and 64: with all this social noise or the a
Page 65: RELIGIOUSLY GRATEFULThat sense of i
Page 68 and 69: In fact, clergy rank #1 in terms of
Page 70 and 71: Be grateful, for gratitude canbring
Page 72 and 73: I CAN’T THINK of many things that
Page 74 and 75: The fairy tales of how life is‘su
Page 77 and 78: Simply put, this means abstaining f
Page 79 and 80: collisions - which requires even mo
Page 81 and 82: WHAT’S YOUR PASSION? Have you fou
Page 83 and 84: Just because you can ask a question
Page 85 and 86: As history has shown, an attempt to
Page 87: Moreover, research studying the not
Page 90 and 91: THERE IS NO script for life.Marriag
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‘Hmm. What the fuck is a “love
Page 94 and 95:
TILL DEATH DO US PARTIn preparation
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Chapter NineCREATING YOUR PASSION
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that they’re destined for just on
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just like my close friends and fami
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What makes the difference? Why are
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I so sincerely believe that we’ll
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We celebrate their individuality, n
Page 109:
The psychological theory is that gi
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3. What I’m able to do (my skills
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For me the most important thing has
Page 116 and 117:
Chapter TenTHE JOURNEY BACK TO HUMA
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About 12,000 years ago we hunted in
Page 120 and 121:
Most of the ‘new age’techniques
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agoraphobia. Let me be clear, this
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study from the 1950s, University of
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Similarly, studies have found that
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I’m quite possibly the biggest cu
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addiction to self-medicate the pain
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how tiring work can be. We spend ti
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WHEN I STARTED writing this book, I
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Every time I’ve quit, people have
Page 139:
Some people just can’t seem to de
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Uncertainty is the gap between your
Page 145 and 146:
Back then, being fearful in uncerta
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Dumb people, he recently opined, se
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AS I LOOKED down at my phone, I fel
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a wound somewhere inside me. Chaos,
Page 154 and 155:
Anthony’s objective advice matche
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In moments like this, your brain wi
Page 159 and 160:
IT WAS 8AM on 19 August 2015. I was
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we didn’t want to go ahead with t
Page 163 and 164:
needed a minute of privacy and that
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You’ll never prevent all chaos.Bu
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and other potent emotions are nothi
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I wrote a detailed statement outlin
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I knew we wouldn’t be able to fin
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product of not what has happened to
Page 175 and 176:
Chapter FourteenTHE EIGHTH WONDER O
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I don’t know if there’s a ‘se
Page 181 and 182:
In 30 years’ time, although Pablo
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To my horror, 30 years later, despi
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Consistency compounds in the same w
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now. It’s built on every action a
Page 190 and 191:
Success is the result of yourconsis
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spent the first two decades of my l
Page 195 and 196:
MY ASSISTANT, SOPHIE, is a lot more
Page 197:
small, short-term stuff - like goin
Page 201 and 202:
What is it you tell yourself you ar
Page 203 and 204:
most formidable businesses in our i
Page 205 and 206:
People wrongly assume that we make
Page 207 and 208:
Remember Ashley and the self-belief
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behaviour from an overview and the
Page 211 and 212:
her standing in front of Dad while
Page 214 and 215:
For example, whenever I have a disa
Page 216 and 217:
I hated watching my mum and dad arg
Page 219 and 220:
Chapter SixteenHOW TO TAKE RESPONSI
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He pulled up the last three invoice
Page 223 and 224:
What is the moral of this story? On
Page 225 and 226:
Note that locus of control is a con
Page 227 and 228:
I knew I was in that position becau
Page 229 and 230:
Chapter SeventeenI AM JUST AS UNMOT
Page 231 and 232:
Motivation is a poorly described co
Page 233 and 234:
clearly isn’t an intrinsic goal;
Page 235 and 236:
As I said earlier, this generation
Page 238 and 239:
Between the ages of 11 and 18 I, li
Page 240 and 241:
SIf you try to be someone else,you
Page 242 and 243:
becomes more about rewards than int
Page 244 and 245:
Although self-determination is gene
Page 246 and 247:
you question your competence when p
Page 248 and 249:
Love does not seek to controlor dom
Page 250 and 251:
Chapter EighteenHOW TO BECOME THE B
Page 252 and 253:
Access to information is thereal pr
Page 254 and 255:
concept of ‘skill stacking’, wh
Page 256 and 257:
This means that, statistically,to b
Page 258 and 259:
This one rare skill, and the wider
Page 260 and 261:
ability to speak and sell eloquentl
Page 262 and 263:
IF I’M FORTUNATE enough to live t
Page 264 and 265:
‘We can work harder orlonger to e
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away as you read these words. It’
Page 268 and 269:
How would you live your lifeif you
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spend their time?’ Or, ‘Which d
Page 272 and 273:
Once you have clarity on what your
Page 274 and 275:
The most I’ve been paid as a fee
Page 276:
can indisputably change your life m
Page 279 and 280:
REMEMBER ME AT 18 years old, and th
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It was that stability, and the lack
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You are you, and you will always be
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Being content with who you are and
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STEVEN’S READING LIST1. Lost Conn
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REFERENCESCHAPTER 2Peer, M, ‘The
Page 291 and 292:
Positive Psychology, 2018, 14, 1-10
Page 293 and 294:
Barker, E, ‘Why are we so bad at
Page 295 and 296:
Hadaway, P F, Alexander, B K, et al
Page 297 and 298:
‘Life/Time’ image from https://
Page 299 and 300:
Seneca, On the Shortness of Life [T
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