Reaching The Top — Fortune Shumba

DEDICATION
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"Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you."
(Matthew 6:33)
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Contents
Chapter One ................................................................. 1
Chapter Two .............................................................. 11
Chapter Three ............................................................ 17
Chapter Four .............................................................. 21
Chapter Five .............................................................. 28
Chapter Six ................................................................ 43
Chapter Seven ............................................................ 51
Chapter Eight ............................................................. 55
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FOREWORD
In the book Reaching the Top, Fortune has created a
story which represents every young adult’s temptation
as they go through life. The quest to reach the top is
admirable but the means to the top must always reflect
our moral fiber. There is a temptation to compromise
our morality in a quest to get to the top. The compromise
of our integrity and dignity results in an unwanted
pregnancy which challenges the Christian values which
we hold dear to our hearts. This book is highly
recommended for anyone raising a family or mentoring
young adults as the book highlights the pressures that
the youth go through as they navigate life in search of
significance and influence. It clearly lays out the
foolishness of compromising one’s values for the sake
of temporary pleasure. It exhorts young adults to honor
their bodies and refuse anyone the permission to violate
their bodies, regardless of the glamorous promises that
are offered. No promise from a married professor
justifies one becoming sexually abused in search of the
promise. Any mentor who seeks to abuse a minor
should be resisted strongly. Flee such advances before
you get damaged by an abusive mentor. This book is a
must read for every teenager and young adult so they
learn how to deal with life challenges that are
accompanied by temptations in their age group.
Pastor Edward Nyamuda
Local Pastor (Celebration Church Ruwa (Windsor)
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Chapter One
The top...beyond limits, beating the records, surpassing the
norm, above the mountains, swimming in the clouds,
dwelling amongst the stars, having the sky for a footstool,
excelling, outdoing, flying without wings.
There was a determined look in my eyes and a scowl that
surprised even me as I looked in the mirror pasting all these
words and motivational phrases which I had written on tiny
pieces of paper and pasted on the mirror. I really wanted to
see them every morning whenever I will be putting on my
makeup and whenever I got to look at myself in the mirror.
Those words were a constant reminder of how hard I had to
work and they had to get me all fired up to motivate me and
drive me to the unscalable heights which I aspired to reach.
I had to be at the top, to climb that ladder, to make a
difference. That, I believed was my calling.
We had just celebrated our twenty-first birthday, being five
minutes apart and we were both excited about our key. I was
five minutes younger than my sister and even though we
were two completely different individuals with entirely
different passions and desires, looking at us, was like
looking in the mirror. Our striking similarities made us into
somewhat of a spitting image of each other and no one could
tell us apart except our parents though they too didn’t find it
as easy. We were fair skinned, of an average height, with a
thick afro, brown eyes, dimples on both cheeks and tooth
gaps between our two front teeth.
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Growing up, we were inseparable even though our ideas and
perceptions on life were worlds apart. The way in which we
complimented each other was simply amazing. We loved
each other profoundly and our relationship was based on
mutual trust and respect. We were each other's keepers and
guarded each other jealously.
Our parents had met during our mum's first year at the
University of Zimbabwe as she was studying towards her
bachelor's degree in Human Resources Management
whereas dad was in his final year studying towards his
bachelor's degree in Law.
"It was love at first sight," mum always told us with a dreamy
look.
They were head over heels in love such that they could not
get enough of each other. Everyone loved them and both
their parents were fond of their in-law to be. It was really
lonely for mum when Dad eventually graduated but it served
them well as they would have failed to resist each other for
too long.
Dad always visited mum on weekends but became scarce
when he got a job which somewhat strained the relationship
but they still survived the tough time thanks to the flames
inside their hearts. Dad would take mum to dinners, lunch,
movies, day trips, picnics, game drives and other lovely
experiences a woman should be treated to as he was very
thoughtful and as he knew exactly how to sweep mum off
her feet.
They eventually got married a year after mum had graduated
and got her first job. They had a big wedding and were
pronounced husband and wife on the 5 th of April that very
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next year with them then going on to Victoria Falls for their
honeymoon.
During the early years of their marriage, they lived at our
paternal grandparents' house for a while before they moved
out to their apartment in town at Mazowe Mansions which
was an ideal spot as it was in close proximity to their places
of work.
Our parents were committed and devoted members of the
Central Baptist Church which also happened to be close by
and this meant that their life as they knew it was perfect.
Mum fell pregnant a year later, only to learn that she was
having twins which was a double blessing for them. They
were over the moon and moved into the bigger house they
had bought in Mt Pleasant in anticipation of the bigger
family and more mouths to feed as soon as they heard the
news, to make room for us. It was by no way an easy
pregnancy but they survived and gave birth to my sister and
I nine months later on a rainy December night with dad right
by her side throughout the labor.
Our room had been perfectly decorated with our two
separate cot beds at the center of the room, baby furniture,
baby clothes, diapers, car seats, walkers, toys, dolls —
everything came in twos like we were in Noah' s Ark.
As soon as we were born, mum left her job and became a
full-time housewife to ensure that she would always be there
round the clock; through the good times and bad times,
clinics, kindergarten, junior and high school. She never
missed a single event or occasion be it our sports days,
graduation days, parents days or prize-giving days and now
she and dad had just thrown us our 21st birthday party. All
those selfless sacrifices and commitments had brought them
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to this one beautiful moment where they had equipped us
with the tools and skills to make something out of our lives
and our dreams. It was because of them that we could shine
and that we could soar.
My sister, Grace, was graceful, considerate of other people,
goal-oriented, down to earth, multi-talented and my favorite
person. She had a passion for animals and was looking to
study to be a vet as much as that was super foreign to me, I
respected her although I always felt that I had to be better. I
had to be in the limelight and I was so, so obsessed by
people's views about me hence I lived for their approval,
likes and affirmations. As much as I loved my sister, I never
admitted that I wanted her to be in my shadow — it had to
be about me somehow even though we were different.
Surprisingly, I had a passion for numbers and I was really
good hence my decision to take up studies towards being a
Chartered Accountant. I stayed up late burning the midnight
oil and pushing myself to work hard and at times I felt I was
generally hard on myself. Being at the top of my class was
an obsession and boy was I possessed with being number
one. It had been my lot since day one — all thanks to the law
of attraction.
My sister and I had the same friends which was a good thing
for me as I didn't have to be a people's person like she was.
I was louder in everything since I craved for attention; I wore
brighter colors, fancier hairstyles, higher heels and was
outspoken, frank and somewhat bossy in a subtle way.
Everything had to be either my way or no way at all so with
everyone I always got my way. I had a deep self-love which
was beyond realistic and I was not sorry, that was just the
way it was and somehow, I had to be accepted that way — I
came first!!
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However, Gracie and I had a number of things in common
— we had the same taste in music, movies and some of our
hobbies such as travelling, dancing and taking quiet walks
thus sometimes we were like two peas in a pod.
"Hey Glo, let's get going," Grace shouted from the passage
as she ran downstairs, " The other girls are already here," she
announced.
"I'll be down in a minute," I said as I put a touch of pink on
my cheeks before I came down to join the others.
We were going for a movie with four of our friends, two
from my class and two from Gracie' s class.
Everyone was dressed in jeans and either sneakers, pumps or
sandals and I was in wedges. Everything about me was a
notch fancier and louder than the others just so I could be the
talk of town.
We always had a ball when we were together and we had
now made it more of a habit or a point of going out every
fortnight or two weeks. There always seemed to be plenty to
talk about and a lot to catch up on and so we never ran out
of stories to dig into from fashion to movies, school, the
economy, politics, love, heartbreaks and generally life as we
knew it.
Looking back and pondering over it now, I think my friends
had learnt to tolerate me and my sister simply loved me just
the way I was because everywhere we went and whatever we
did, I was the clamor girl. I made every effort to be chic and
glamorous. I always held my head high, my stomach in,
flawlessly attired without a hair out of place. Other girls
would seethe with envy on seeing me and guys would leap
to their feet and offer a chair and I'd smile regally then sit
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down with knees together and my slender feet crossed at the
ankles. I spoke with a soft but sure voice without stammering
or hesitating. Loving myself all the more.
Forgetting all too easily that, "...the Lord does not look at
the things men look at. Man looks at the outside appearance
but God looks at the heart."(1 Samuel 16:7)
I was just so full of myself and whenever people marveled
at me that stroked my ego. I would boast about it to my twin
sister who only laughed at me and wished that I did not care
about such things.
"You know what Glory, honestly I don't care about all that
at all, those things really don't matter, I'd still love you no
matter how you looked," she said with a smile as she plaited
my hair.
"You say that but the world doesn't, my dear,” I always
argued.
"Honey, would you love me less if I was rolled up in
bandages and you could not see me?" Grace asked tilting her
head to one side so she could look me in the eye through the
mirror.
"Of course," I snapped, "It'd still be you inside!"
"See what I mean?"
"That's different and people see things differently," I
reasoned," I really wonder how you don't get it."
"I don't because I'm not of this world, I also wonder how you
don't get that my dear Glory," her hands were on my
shoulders as she looked at me from the mirror.
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"That doesn't mean we can't take care of ourselves and be on
fleek," I responded as I rolled my eyes.
"As long as you don't end up self-idolizing mate," she hit
back.
"Whatever Gee," I said touching my forehead forgetting yet
again that,
"...but let him who boasts boast about this: that he
understands and knows me, that I am the Lord, who
exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in
these I delight, declares the Lord."(Jeremiah 9:24)
I not only despised and resented people who did not meet my
standards, but I also got intimidated by another person's
beauty, intelligence, talents or accomplishments. This made
me jealous and also gave me a gnawing pang of inadequacy
which I tirelessly fought with more hours of study, more
exercise, more makeup for more improvements no matter
how hard and no matter how strenuous it was just so that I
could reach the top and step by step I did and haughtily and
happily taking in all the applause from both my peers and
lecturers having become the cream of my class. I ended up
harboring feelings of pride without even knowing it. Yes, for
a fact I was outstanding and I didn't need to wait for people
to tell me as I was too eager to spread the news whenever I
got a chance.
Considering myself a Christian, I fellowshipped at the
Central Baptist Church with our parents where I was part of
the choir with an angelic, soprano voice and so whenever I
sang solo, congregates were moved to tears; that's how good
I was and I knew it. Before the self-centeredness and the
haughtiness, I sang to the Lord's glory then the tables turned
when I started getting too many cheers and claps coming my
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way and that overtime snowballed into conceit and deceit as
I had made it more about me and less about God.
Grace played the piano and she was really good but I still
stood out. We were both committed Christians with
leadership roles in the young adults group. As faithful
tithers, we really tried to please the Lord at all times, yet here
I was straying from His way without even knowing it.
Having numerous talents to go with the lovely looks meant
that I attracted many potential life partners or possible
suitors but I cared little about involving myself in a
relationship. I was so engrossed with popularity and blinded
by ambition so much that I trampled on people and thereby
hurting their feelings in the process — all for my own selfish
reasons.
I loved being pampered and hogging the limelight which I
basked in as I had to be treated like the princess that I
believed I was. Being spoilt is not only something I enjoyed
but something that I had now come to expect and to demand
from people as if it was a due that I was owed. I cared
nothing for anyone else and was only worried about getting
my own needs and desires catered for or attended to.
Thinking about it now, I realize I was no different from
women of prophet Amos' day whom he called, "Hear this
word, you cows of Bashan on Mount Samaria, you women
who oppress the poor and crush the needy and say to your
husbands, "Bring us some drinks", " who also like me only
cared about themselves.
"Glory's been so demanding even as a baby," mum always
said that to dad, "I don't think she is out to hurt anyone, her
intentions are always good," momma was just too kind with
me and only saw the good in everyone.
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"I hope you are right; I sense a selfishness of some sort about
her that she expertly wraps up for anyone to see, she blinds
you with her sweetness," Dad said thoughtfully as he
finished up his lunch at St Elmos restaurant at The Village in
Borrowdale.
They got to eat out and to travel a lot more now that we were
all grown and we were as good as adults.
"I think she's smarter than that, the only thing that worries
me is that she hardly has relationships that last although she
excels in everything else," momma said with a convinced
look on her face.
"All I can say is that in the fullness of time, God will make
it all beautiful for her," Dad smiled ruefully.
"What can I say, we were no better at their age," momma let
out with a naughty laugh.
"Speak for yourself woman," Dad chuckled waging a finger
at her and they both laughed.
Our parents were the perfect couple and onlookers couldn't
help but stare and admire them as they had a visible
connection and their love for each other was strong and
written in their eyes for all to see. They cared for each other
deeply and their marriage was based on mutual trust, respect
and unbreakable love.
"I married my best friend," momma always told us whenever
we had our girl talks.
She was a beautiful and gentle soul who looked younger than
someone in her fifties. Mom had been ordained as a
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deaconess at church and dad had been ordained into being a
deacon hence, we really had a strong Christian background.
Now in spite of what Grace or my dad thought, I was
oblivious of my flaws, I always justified myself and boy was
I hard-headed. Grace being the sweetheart she was, ended up
cleaning up after me, apologizing for me and making
excuses for me and as a result I pushed people away whereas
she found favor with both men and God.
"It is hard to believe that they are twins with how different
their personalities are, yet we still find it hard to tell them
apart based on their looks; probably we should try telling
who’s who by their behavior," Dad laughed.
He always found humor in everything.
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Chapter Two
"There is a time for everything and a season for every
activity under heaven."(Ecclesiastes 3:1)
Gracie and I had embarked on the journey of life on the same
day and I somehow expected everything about us to happen
simultaneously as well. We had gone through all the various
stages of childhood development from adolescence and
puberty right through to adulthood literally side-by-side until
it came to graduation as I graduated first from college
particularly because the program I had studied for was
shorter than Gracie’s course.
‘You must wish you were me right now,’ I winked at Gracie
as I slipped into the bedcovers.
"Can we play our switching game one more time?" she
pleaded with her eyes.
‘Sorry to break this to you but you will blow it within a
second sweetheart,’ I teased.
"Don't be so sure, I'm as good as your clone," Gracie
chuckled and I laughed.
For once I was ahead and it was really something to feel
good about if my crazy theories were anything to go by. The
top students in my class were offered job placements by the
Chartered Accountants Board at the time and were to receive
confirmation emails a week after graduation. Throughout the
week, I constantly felt a tingling sensation from head to toe
as I had every reason to believe I was going to be one of the
beneficiaries on the list.
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"I would leave room for disappointment," Dad said one night
as we sat at the dining table for our supper.
"Behold Glory Moyo was the creme de la creme," Grace
chimed in with dancing eyes.
"There are two sides to every coin you know," Dad said
quietly.
‘Don't be a pessimist Dad,’ I said rolling my eyes.
"Thou shall not be a doubting Thomas," momma said
smiling.
‘Newsflash...I'm actually done with my wardrobe change
Dad...talk about a step of faith,’ I announced.
"I like your faith child and I'm so proud of you, don't you
ever forget that," Dad finally said softly.
"Thanks Dad," I grinned.
"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's
purpose that prevails." (Proverbs 19:21)
The week in question came and went but it had nothing for
me. No email, no message, no call and I was confused. What
shocked me was that five of my colleagues had posted on
their timelines;
"First day at work...thank you CABZ!!"
I could not understand why I was missing in action and by
the end of the week, I was losing my mind. Without telling
anyone, I called my lecturer in charge only to be told to
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kindly check my email in an hour and when I did, my heart
broke into a million pieces.
"We regret to inform you that you did not make it to the top
five list of the shortlisted candidates...we wish you all the
best in your endeavors."
For a minute, I thought my heart would stop as tears blinded
my eyes. I just wondered how they could come up with a top
five without the creme de la creme. I was crushed especially
after the hard work I had put in.
"...clothe yourself with humility toward one another because
God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." (1
Peter 5:5)
I was heartbroken but as always, my family was there for
me. They tried to make it easy to bear but it just didn't
happen. I had to find a way to redeem myself and I did. After
all I expected to be at the top and I was not going to let
anyone rob me of that. I decided to respond to my email
seeking audience with the Lecturer in Charge and I was
granted my wish which was a good sign, I thought to myself.
The meeting was going to be the following morning and I
felt victorious until Mr. Huni, (the lecturer in charge) called
to say he could only meet me at the Jameson Hotel at lunch
time because he wasn't at the school premises that day.
Mr. Huni’s request had me quite taken aback and the inner
man being so loyal, gave me a gentle warning against the
plan but the heart wanted what it wanted. Not going sounded
really insane with how desperate I felt and especially after
having requested for audience myself. I had to be at the top
and this was an opportunity worth grabbing, I told myself
over and over again but thinking about it now I don't get how
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I could have been so desperate barely a month after
graduating. Beats me!!
Having dressed up and looking as good as can be, I walked
towards the reception at the hotel. Covering the distance
from Mt Pleasant rank to the hotel wasn't that much of a
hustle to get to Samora Machel avenue where Jameson Hotel
stood in all its splendor.
I asked for Mr. Huni as per instruction on arrival and my
heart sank when the lovely receptionist gave me a room
number and directed me to the elevator with her eyes
searching mine, but I was quick to look away and thank her
profusely before she could further our conversation.
Even though every step that I took to room 90 seemed
suicidal, they also felt like they were steps to the top for me.
I wasn't sure why he had chosen a hotel room but the way
my heart was thudding so hard threatening to break my rib
cage spelt danger in as much as I tried denying it. What
awaited me in room 90 was something I was not prepared
for as Mr. Huni stood before me covered in a drying towel.
I was shocked but he was quick to calm my nerves and make
sure I didn't run.
"I'm sorry you had to see me like this Miss Glory, in this heat
I just thought a shower would do me good," he spoke gently
with his eyes not leaving my gaze then he offered me a seat.
Mr. Huni was in his late thirties, good-looking, married and
with four kids. He was tall and somewhat of a hunk with a
maturity he used to conceal his predatory instincts as
evidenced by the mischievous look in his eyes.
"I really can get you what you want you know, but we have
to meet halfway," he was even embarrassed as he said it with
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a smile that made me wince but I had on a mechanical smile
for him. As I listened to him, I somehow was reminded of
Jesus and Satan tempting Him after His forty day fast.
"Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be
tempted by the devil." (Matthew 4:1)
God always provides a way for His own to overcome
temptations only if they listen, but I chose to give in.
"Everything is just going to be just as you wanted it," those
were his last words as he left me sitting on the edge of the
bed naked holding my clothes in shame and disgust at what
had just happened and feeling like I had re-crucified Christ.
It seemed as if I had just traded my innocence and my purity
cheaply all in the name of getting to the top by myself. I
threw away the Lord's script and was writing my own
unaware of how much I was grieving the Spirit. As I sat in
the bathtub, I wanted the water to not only cleanse my body
but the guilt, shame and condemnation. For the first time in
my life, I felt defeated but I also told myself that I had had
no choice. The tears came and went but the heavy heart
remained and I knew I just had to act like everything was
okay for a very long time to bury the memory of what had
happened on this day — nobody had to know.
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy..." (John
10:10)
As much as I wanted to deny it, something died inside of me
that day; it went away with my purity which made it all the
more devastating. I didn't want to care or to think about it so
I didn't. "The power of choices"
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My sister surprisingly knew that something was wrong the
moment I walked in — the perks of being a twin.
"What’s up?" she asked concerned.
‘The sky, dummy,’ I let out a dry laugh but she kept looking
at me.
"Dude if you don't know, that's my way of telling you I know
you are not okay," she rolled her eyes.
‘Do not be deceived by the so-called twin instinct sis,’ I
brushed her off, ‘I've never been better,’ I lied.
"You cannot fool me, you know that, right?" Gracie said as
a matter of fact, " but I won't pressure you...tell me whenever
you are ready," she said not leaving my gaze, "but just pray
the ears will still be open," she teased and I forced a smile as
she left my room.
I let out a sigh and wondered how long I was going to keep
this up.
The good part though was that my parents didn't really notice
that something was amiss. They just assumed I was still
mourning my rejection email and I was relieved.
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Chapter Three
"There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed
against the Lord," (Proverbs 21:30)
One month later, Mr. Huni was still making excuses.
"Glory I'm still waiting for the right time to make it happen
for you okay... give me time."
‘But it's been a month,’ I complained.
"Patience, patience, patience," he said for the umpteenth
time and whenever he said it, my heart sank.
I was full of shame and I was bitter and angry at myself. It
didn't look like anything was going to happen for me anytime
soon; I had been duped.
However, I still went to church, sang in choir, put up a front,
laughed in the sun and cried in the dark. I kept telling myself
that I just had to find myself again, move the hell on but it
wasn't easy and Gracie couldn't put a finger on it but she
could sense that I was hiding something from her and
becoming withdrawn by the day.
"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are My ways
your ways," says the Lord. (Isaiah 55:8)
One night as I was going through my emails, I was
astonished by what I found — before my eyes was an
admissions letter from CABZ, for a permanent job position
and not the graduate intern slot which I had compromised
my standards for.
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It explained how they had been impressed by my
performance and they were hoping I would join their team at
their Bulawayo offices. I was to work under one of their
partners for a while until I got the hang of things.
Instead of getting excited, I got melancholic and I lamented
after sending my acceptance email and only told my family
the next day.
"...plans to prosper you and not to harm you," Dad said as he
patted me on the shoulder and I had to fight back tears and I
was saved from blowing my cover by my ringing phone.
‘I've got to learn to control my emotions somehow,’ I
thought to myself.
The call was from Mr. Huni and I thought he was calling to
tell me that he finally had everything wrapped up, alas I was
wrong. He had called to add salt to my wounds when he
admitted that he no longer had the power to do anything
anymore. His plan was that of influencing the process by
pulling some strings and convincing “the bigwigs” to create
one extra slot but they had told him point blank that they had
everything under control and would not circumvent the
process.
‘So, you lied to me?’ I retorted in a hoarse whisper.
"I didn't lie to you babe, I was really going to make it happen
for you but apparently there are no guarantees in life, you
see," I didn't like his tone.
‘But you promised and made me...’
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"Listen here lady, I didn't make you do anything...you made
a choice, you took a chance, which is what life is all
about...you win, you lose, you move on!" his voice was icy.
I was stunned to silence. He had a point, I had made a choice,
after all, he hadn't had a gun to my head.
"Momma she is not okay," Gracie said quietly, " I can feel
her slipping away."
"I'm not a twin but I think she just hasn't recovered from the
disappointment," she said thoughtfully.
"I really don't think so, I feel it's something deeper than that,
momma, she even avoids me now, even our friends, she
keeps to herself most of the time and something about her is
dead too."
"I don't know Grace...but let's not make "much ado about
nothing”," she said quoting Shakespeare, "But if there is
anyone who can get through to her it's you."
"I know but you are the mother, just try talking to her,"
Gracie pleaded.
"I will if it makes you happy but I doubt if there is anything
at all," she said as a matter of fact.
"Thank you amai (momma)," Gracie said putting her hands
together in gratitude.
I felt like I had a rock in my chest when I went to sign my
contract. I was being tormented by my compromise and it
sucked.
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Luckily a warm welcome awaited me at the CABZ
headquarters where I got to sign my contract. The package
included accommodation in a bachelor's flat and that cheered
me up. I thought the move was going to be a catalyst to my
healing and fresh start and I hoped I was right.
If only I had been a little patient, trusted a little and waited
for God's time, it'd have saved me.
He knew me before I was born and had major plans for me
but like Adam and Eve, I took the forbidden fruit and it was
coming back to me now.
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Chapter Four
The city of Bulawayo was warm and green with the weather
at its best like it knew the apple of God's eye had arrived, I
thought to myself feeling nothing close to His apple at that
moment.
Anyways my sister and parents went out of their way turning
my flat into a home before they left me. I've always been
independent so being that far from my family meant I had
finally been weaned and was cruising in adulthood.
The parents spent the night in a local guest house while my
twin and I created memories in the only place we were not
going to be sharing for the first time.
"It's beautiful isn't it?" Gracie cut in my thoughts.
"Hell yeah, especially because it's all mine and mine alone,"
I teased.
"Like I care," she said and I laughed.
‘I'm going to miss you, you know that, right?’ I said looking
at my sister.
"I can tell," she laughed, "With the way you've been avoiding
me lately, I feel like I'm finally out of your hair."
I rolled my eyes and sighed.
‘Why do you want to spoil our last moments?’
"Because I want to be back home knowing that I haven't lost
my sister."
21

‘Oh Gracie, don't get all emotional on me,’ I tried brushing
her off.
"I'm serious Glory why won't you just tell me...what
happened, who hurt you...or is it me, we used to be best
friends, where did it go wrong?" she sounded sad and hurt
too.
I swallowed hard feeling tears welling up in my eyes.
‘You are going to hate me if I tell you,’ I said fighting back
the tears.
"So, there is something?" Gracie said folding her arms and
turning to face me and waited.
We were standing by the balcony taking in the picture of the
CBD and of course Joshua Nkomo's statue.
I didn't know how to tell her or where to begin.
Grace and I believed that singleness was synonymous with
virginity, not because we were old-fashioned nor that we did
not know better. It was not that we were too naive to have
heard that people our age have been committing adultery and
fornication millennia. It was not that we were not liberated
or plain stupid. It was because we prized the sanctity of sex
and what I had done made me feel like a traitor.
"Okay Glory, you don't have to tell me," Grace said after I
had hesitated as she started walking back in the house.
‘I had sex with Mr. Huni,’ I said with the calmest voice I
could muster.
22

"You what?" the shock on her face and in her voice made me
shudder.
"Oh my God Glory, when...how," she pulled me in her arms
as I started crying and comprehended it all.
It was unbelievable even to my own ears.
"I don't know what to say love, I cannot begin to imagine
what you've been going through or how rotten you must be
feeling right now."
‘You don't hate me?’
"I'm shocked, I'm disappointed, I hate what you did but I can
never hate you. We are sisters for life," Grace said not
leaving my gaze, " I'm sorry this happened to you," she
hugged me, "You are not telling mum?"
‘I will eventually, I'm just not ready now.’
"I'm sorry I pressured you, but I'm also glad you told me, you
don't have to carry the burden alone."
‘Thank you for making me tell you, my heart feels lighter
already.’
We talked about nothing in particular afterwards and the
walls that had come between us tumbled down. I had missed
my sister and here we were back to normal, it felt so good.
We sang, we danced, we ate treats and goodies before we
fell in the arms of sleep on top of the bed cover and our
parents woke us up the next morning knocking on the front
door.
"Looks like we missed out," Dad commented nonchalantly.
23

"We sure did!" mum agreed.
Before I knew it, I was hugging them and my sister goodbye
after we had a memorable lunch at a local fancy restaurant.
‘It's never the right time to say goodbye...Chris Brown was
so right,’ I chuckled blinking away tears.
"You promised you won't cry," Grace wagged a finger at me
wiping her own tears, "I'll be praying for you," were her last
words when we finally did the group hug and they left.
My first day at work was remarkably memorable. Never in
my life had I felt more pampered. On arrival, I found a parcel
waiting for me with my favorite chocolate and a best wishes
card. That was so like Grace and boy was I touched. I
messaged her an "I love you" which she responded to with a
hearty laugh in a voice note followed by a "work with grace"
which was something to hold on to.
The day was all about me, from introductions, tours, teas and
snacks to employment form filling and contract signing then
home time. My mind was busy the whole day; I didn't even
get time to feel sorry for myself. The excitement I felt hadn't
settled in yet and I really wanted to scream.
I couldn't wait to get to the books of accounts and audits as
well as the financial statements among a few other things
which I was yet to furnish myself on. Talk about being
overzealous.
My immediate supervisor was a middle-aged woman,
average tall, ever-wearing Brazilian hair wigs, makeup on
point, perfect eyebrows and milky white teeth which gave
her a gorgeous smile. We warmed up to each other especially
24

because I proved to be really bright, I grasped concepts
easily and my sense of humor was a bonus.
The organization was male-dominated with names like
Peter, James, John, Tinashe, Paul being called out and a few
Ruths, Maggies and now Glory had been added to the list. It
took me a while to match the names to the right person but I
eventually got there.
The other partners besides my new friend and supervisor,
Mrs. Fombe, who preferred her first name, Hannah, were
three gentlemen, Mr. Maya, Mr. Gore and Mr. Dawson.
They were just perfect for the role "partner" with their
polished selves, I always thought to myself as I did my
rounds with them.
‘Have you ever been in a place with no shortage of goodlooking
guys and a dozen eligible bachelors who all thought
you were hot?’ I chuckled as I spoke to Gracie over the
phone.
"Ha ha ha...very funny," she laughed, "Take it easy wooo,"
she warned and I laughed," I hope you haven't made
enemies."
‘Not really,’ I confessed
.
"Now that doesn't sound too good."
‘Well, I just can't get too friendly with them somehow I mean
after the Huni thingy, I think I swallowed a rock of ice,’ I
admitted.
"No, you didn't, you are just scared that's all...but it's
okay…because in the fullness of time..."
25

"God makes all things beautiful!" we chorused.
‘That just sounds too familiar it was hard to believe hence
my escapade and now I haven't been in good books with the
Lord for a while.’
"You still can be, you know that, right? It's totally up to you
because forgiving is His nature."
‘No preaching today or I'll hang up,’ I chuckled and Grace
laughed.
I just could not separate my emotions from my physical state
and I was successful in hiding it but alone in my flat, I
continued to struggle with PTS. Mr. Huni had not only
touched my body but my emotions too. I realized that even
though it was just one time that I had given my body to him,
I could not stay emotionally untouched no matter how hard
I tried. Many a time, I wanted to call Mr. Huni and shout at
him, scream in his face so that he could feel the pain too.
If only I had let God keep my emotions safe and guard me
from these feelings that were threatening to wreck my
emotional wellbeing. If only I hadn't been in too much of a
hurry and let Him protect me from the devastation of
condemnation.
The devil was succeeding in making me feel unworthy and
unable to glorify God. Each time I tried running back to God
and tell Him how sorry I was, I would hear his voice getting
me down.
"Some Christian you are…how can you go before the
Lord…you compromised remember?...
condemned...condemned...condemned," I would stop right
26

there and fear would overwhelm me as a thousand questions
would then flood my mind.
"Am I still worth respecting? What if Gracie told Mum and
Dad, what if my peers found out...talk about the guys from
church, the Pastor, the other deacons...OMG...every night
these fears played in my mind and emotions. If only I had
slowed down a bit and let the all-knowing God protect me
from such emotional trauma.
Most overwhelming of all were the doubts of God's love for
me... the doubts of my salvation and if I was ever going to
find love at all... true love with my damaged self. Some
nights I just cried myself to sleep.
Nevertheless, Grace's graduation was coming up in a few
weeks and she was hoping I would be there.
‘Dah, ...I wouldn't miss it for anything,’ I said out loud and
she laughed.
Grace had been dating a dashingly handsome gentleman,
Simba, who had found much favor with our parents. Our
mum was crazy about him. He was tall, masculine, lightskinned
and charming. I approved of him and had been a
third wheel on several dates. They were sometimes together
when I called and he just fit in our world like a jigsaw puzzle.
"You better find a new best friend mate," he always said.
‘I'm afraid I've been attracting freaks lately,’ I mused and he
laughed.
"Then I'll have both of you to myself."
‘Amen!’ I said as we laughed.
27

Chapter Five
"Do not be deceived, God is not mocked, for whatever a man
sows, that he will also reap," (Galatians 6:7)
It had been two months since I started working and I was
having the time of my life even though I had some nights of
torment. Everyone at work loved me somehow, but then that
really didn't come across as something noteworthy. I was
excellent with my work and reliable. Grace's graduation was
the following Saturday and I was to fly home on Friday.
"Yes fly...I could afford it now though I was grieving my
wallet."
The couple of the moment would pick me up at the airport
and take me home...I could picture it all perfectly.
It was on a Wednesday and I was on my way to the cafeteria
when suddenly my head felt lighter. I had been feeling
drowsy sometimes in the mornings but I hadn't thought much
of it. Suddenly I had a dizzy spell before I collapsed in Paul's
arms who had been close to me.
The next time I opened my eyes I was on a hospital bed with
Hannah holding my hand.
‘What happened...is this heaven?’ I mused and in spite of the
scare, Hannah smiled.
"Really?" she said and I grinned.
We didn't stay long after my waking up as the doctor had got
all he needed after he had asked for a urine test. He had asked
if I wanted him to speak to me in private but I told him there
28

was no reason to chuck Hannah out since she had come this
far.
"After all she is my friend and there isn't anything worth
hiding," I had said innocently until he had said the last thing
on my mind.
"Congratulations, you are two months pregnant."
I was beyond shocked by the news that I almost fainted again
but Hannah was there to keep me sane although she didn't
comment. She just made sure I was okay and arranged that I
take the remaining days of the week off, only to report for
work the following week of which I did not object.
I was sleepless for most of the night back in my flat as my
mind was in spectacular overdrive trying to arrive at a
decision. I could abort and no one would ever find out or I
could carry the pregnancy and give birth to a bastard which
would be the ultimate blow — talk about the shame I'd cause
my family; the very thought of it made me want to just die,
I mean it'd all be so simple except that I would be twice a
murderer and heaven wouldn’t be my home.
"Some Christian you are...but you still have the upper
hand...whatever you decide, you are still
condemned…condemned...condemned!!" the devil again.
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us
our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John
1:9)
The Holy Spirit was always gentle...
The battle for my soul it was.
29

Gracie's graduation day came and I woke up with a heavy
heart. Yes, I had made it to Harare by air, yes, I had been
picked up by my favorite couple and yes, I was home with
my mum and Dad, but I felt like an alien. They were so
happy to see me, so happy I was doing well and was on my
way to the top as I'd always wanted and so happy Gracie was
graduating but I felt anything but happy. I mean how could
I be happy when I was carrying a mistake in my belly.
I felt like I was walking on eggshells when we finally graced
the graduation ceremony. My emotions were all over the
place and half the time I was absent-minded. Gracie however
could not have me spoil her day but she had made a point of
pulling whatever it was out of me when the day was over.
"I really hate that I can see through you sometimes," she had
said as I helped her dress up, "But I'll just pretend I'm blind
because I don't want to think of you as a party pooper."
‘It's in your head dammit, I see you aren't taking our
separation well,’ I mused, ‘You need to stop worrying about
me at some point, you think you can do that honey?’
"That's like asking me to stop breathing," she chuckled and
we both laughed.
The welcoming remarks, the speeches, the choir, the not-sofunny
jokes, reminded me of prize-giving day back in
primary school so much that I wanted it to be that just so that
I could be an infant again. Then came the capping, ululating,
screaming, clapping and finally the closing remarks. It was
over in no time and what a reminder it was of my own
graduation and how I now wished I had made different
choices — definitely a little too late for that and I had to
accept that it was now water under the bridge, accept the
consequences of my actions and face the music.
30

We spent the night out with our parents as well as Simba
(who was now almost part of the family) only for the early
hours of the night with dinner being a wonderful threecourse
meal and out of all the places in Harare they just had
to pick Jameson Hotel — turning me into a captive of my
thoughts and having me relive the traumatic experience from
that night.
When I glanced at my watch, relief like a wave enveloping
my soul filled me up as I was positive that we'd be leaving
any second an hour after Simba had left, until Gracie cut in
my thoughts and I almost groaned.
Apparently, I was far from prepared for what she had in store
for us though.
"Mum, Dad, twinny, Simba and I just got engaged!" she did
the royal wave so we could all see her ring.
‘Oh my God Gracie, how do I not know about this?’ I was
shocked.
"Because it just happened," she shrugged, " You are the first
to know."
Dad looked pleased, mum was jovial and I was genuinely
happy for my sister although my selfish and ever-competing
self would have liked to beat her to it.
He ordered more drinks and snacks to add some luster to the
celebration and we had a nice family time as Gracie told us
more on when and where they were planning to get married.
Overcome with emotion, I suddenly burst into tears
surprising everyone myself included.
31

"Oh, Glory I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to..." she was saying
with her hand around my shoulders and I stopped her.
‘It's not you Gracie, c'mon,’ I spoke louder than I meant to
and Dad folded his arms in exasperation.
"Then what could be wrong, for God's sake you never cry in
public?" he was confused.
‘I guess it's a new thing with me now,’ I sniffed and everyone
smiled in spite of my misery.
"What's wrong Glory?" Mum was concerned.
‘I messed up and I don't know what to do but I'm sorry,’ I
said suddenly breathless.
"What happened?" Mum asked again nervously and Grace
held her breath.
‘I'm pregnant!’ I mumbled quietly and I regretted it the
moment I said the words. Every jaw dropped and time stood
still for a moment. I dropped my eyes to my trembling hands
suddenly feeling hot and sweaty as I waited but nothing
came... not even a sound.
‘I'm so sorry you guys, I...I...,’ I stammered and the whole
time Gracie was squeezing my hand.
"Stop...just stop, okay?" daddy's whisper boomed in the
silence.
Never in my life had I seen the look he had on his face then
and what broke my heart were the tears in his eyes — daddy
never cried; he was the macho man of the house but I had
him broken.
32

"We are leaving," he said, " Let's talk about this at home,"
he said rising up to go and we followed suit.
Before we knew it, we were settled in the car and Mum had
silent tears cascading down her face. I have never hated
myself more as I did in that very moment. What was worse
was feeling the burden of how I had spoiled the night for
everyone; talk about bad timing.
‘I'm sorry,’ I whispered in my sister's ear and she put her
hand around my shoulders.
"It's okay, we will get through this," she whispered back
softly.
The longest night of my life was born as we sat in our lounge
where all we had were our childhood memories of so much
fun, laughter, movies, Christmas trees, presents and of
course Bible studies but we were there that moment to have
my fate decided.
Dad was sitting close to a displayed Bible that was opened
to Psalm 91 and he flipped to Corinthians where he read out
loud.
"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits
are outside his body but he who sins sexually sins against his
own body. Do you not know that your body is the temple of
Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have received from
God? You are not your own therefore, honour God with your
body."(1 Corinthians 6:18-19),"verse 13 of the same
chapter, 'the body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for
the Lord, and the Lord for the body' "
Dad never looked up as he spoke but he flipped through
more pages and read, "if we confess our sins, He is faithful
33

and just and forgives us our sins and purify us from all
unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9)
Once having finished reading the passages of scripture, he
then cleared his throat and glanced at mum, Gracie then
myself. Instead of condemning me or putting me down,
instead of telling me how much I had shamed the family and
broke not only their trust but their hearts too, my father told
me he loved me.
"You may not be my favorite person right now but I love you
and want the best for you...we are disappointed, shocked and
heartbroken, but we will stand by you," he said quietly, "God
still cares too, I'm sure you heard from what we read, His
arms are still open. I know you must feel rotten right now
but He still loves you and don't run from Him at all."
"We are here for you," momma said blinking away tears.
I was engulfed in tears since Dad had begun talking and I
couldn't find my voice as Gracie held me.
"But who is the father...what are your plans?" Mum asked as
I looked at my sister," You can still get married and make
every wrong right, you know."
‘We can't!’ I said shocking the parents again.
"But why Glory...you don't love him?" Dad was confused.
"I don't, I never have...it was a mistake!"
Now my father was getting furious.
"What do you mean young lady? You sleep around now?"
he fumed.
34

‘No Dad, I...I...I'm sorry.’
"I won't listen to this, Glory I'm so disappointed in you,"
were his last words before he stomped out of the room.
"Baba Grace (Grace's father)...calm down," momma said as
she rose to her feet but dad did not look back and Mum
sighed and looked back at me with a raised eyebrow,
standing in front of us with folded arms.
That look told me her patience had run out and without
thinking twice I spilled the beans and she was dumbstruck.
She didn't shout or curse but she cried as she knelt in front
of me holding my hands in hers.
"It's okay, we'll get through this," Mum assured me and I just
nodded before she let us go to bed although it was almost
dawn by then.
Grace fell asleep the moment her head hit the pillow but I
went through a couple hours of tossing and turning before I
managed to steal some sleep as I had a flight to catch which
I did at 2pm with heavy, swollen eyes and a slight headache.
Simba and Gracie took me to the airport but unlike all the
other times together, this time around I felt sad.
Looking at Simba brought back memories of my mean girl
days. I recalled every guy I had not only pushed away but
hurt, degraded and never gave a chance. I remembered
suddenly how Gracie used to clean after me and cover for
me.
"I really don't get the kind of guy you really want; I mean
these guys you throw in trash cans are decent human beings
you know," Gracie hated it.
35

‘Decent isn't good enough...I'm looking to be with someone
who complements my looks, so we can be a dashing couple...
one that people stare at and admire…people like Nathaniel
you know.’
"You ended it with him too, remember?" she would scream.
‘That's because he was just like the rest of them — he had
too many faults, besides being gorgeous he just couldn't treat
me like the princess I am...so I just couldn't compromise. My
perfect prince charming will show up one of these days and
besides, there’s no hurry in Africa!!’ I could almost hear
myself saying as I sat on the backseat having that childhood
conversation flashback.
"Well I guess you know what's best for you," Gracie
shrugged.
This one time I had received a note from this guy from
Church confessing his feelings and asking for a chance and
I had written him back a sentence-long note;
"I'd rather kiss a toilet seat," that's how mean I
was...forgetting all too easily that,
"A man of knowledge uses words with restraint..." (Proverbs
17:27)
"Put away perversity from your mouth, keep corrupt talk
from your lips." (Proverbs 4:24)
Funny enough, I only remembered the Word now unlike
then.
36

In the meantime, Gracie had savored her relationships with
people which eventually led to her and Simba finding each
other, courting and now being engaged.
Conviction!! When the Holy Spirit decides to open your eyes
to sins not on the surface but the hidden ones which I was
not even aware of having been self-righteous. The trip to the
airport turned out to be reflection time.
In Bulawayo, Hannah like an angel straight from heaven
awaited me. As much as I was ashamed of my story, I just
told her one lunch hour at work. She was a good listener and
comforter too.
"You are stronger than you know and wiser than before.
That's all that matters and never forget that God loves you.”
"Strong???" I certainly I felt nothing close to that.
Hannah being the good and sweet soul she was had stood by
my side from that day onwards. She gave me the gift of
friendship which I had never known. Our relationship I was
positive was similar to that of David and Jonathan. Like how
David could count on Jonathan, I could bank on Hannah so
much that some days she would invite me to her house where
I got to meet her family. Her husband and two children — a
boy and a girl who were surprisingly ten years apart with
Jordan being a year older than me and cute, little Tanashe.
Over the months, I had countless dinners and sleepovers at
their home.
The clock ticked relentlessly and I never found the time to
be depressed or teary. Being a Christian family, they invited
me to Celebration Church where they fellowshipped and my
going there was a bold step as I had been uncomfortable
going to church for some time. I was welcomed with open
37

arms and step-by-step I fell in love with church again. They
had ways to cheer me up and of making me feel good about
myself and I felt that I was getting back to being my old self
even though the healing process was not easy.
Thinking about it now, I realize that Satan reserves most of
his vehement attacks for the exact moment when you finally
decide to let go and let God (take control) which was
something I was learning to do. The devil hated it when I
tried to reconnect with God. My sin, my failure and my
shortcomings strangely enough often came to mind and
played before my eyes like a technicolor video whenever I
was about to recommit. As a result, I would run into a wall
of shame and guilt over and over again, taking me back to
where I started.
"Then I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, "Now salvation,
and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of
His Christ have come, for the accuser of our brethren, who
accused them before our God day and night, has been cast
down." (Revelations 12:10)
I was a victim...Satan as the accuser of brethren had a way
of accusing me whenever I tried to make things right with
the Lord. He would tell me in my head what an abysmal
failure I was; taunting and painting me as an embarrassment
to the Kingdom of God and as much as I knew the devil to
be the father of lies, I got fazed by his slander and wondered
if God agreed with him, if God was so mad at me that He
wouldn't listen to me, forgetting how much He wanted me
back to Him. He was waiting for me to take just one step and
He would take the remaining ninety-nine steps to get to me.
"Come now, and let us reason together," says the LORD,
"Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as
38

snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be as
wool. (Isaiah 1:18).
One truth I learnt about Satan was that my going back to the
Lord held the keys to me overcoming my worries and finding
myself in kingdom, therefore he would do anything to stop
me. Whatever it took — he would do it be it to push, distract,
harass, entice, weary, lie or intimidate.
"Make no mistake when you decide to make things right
with God, all hell will seem to be break loose against you,"
Hannah said once when I tried explaining how I still felt
condemned, "Guilt has the potential to snuff out completely
whatever small flame you possibly have and that is why it is
one of Satan's weapons," she explained, "but praise God
because 'our weapons are not carnal but are mighty to the
pulling down of satanic strongholds'," we chorused.
If there was anything I knew by head, it was the Word, but
knowing and understanding are two different things. I could
recite the Word in and out of season which sadly wasn't life
changing. What I needed was true commitment to the Word
for it to have an impact on my life and to do that I had to
completely surrender, forget self, and carry His cross to
follow Him which is something I was yet to learn.
"Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone desires to come
after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and
follow Me." (Matthew 16:24)
"Need more advice?" Hannah asked softly and I nodded.
Each of us should memorize, stick this up on the mirror and
forever make it anthem, 'There is now no condemnation for
those who are in Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:1), she said and I
39

smiled, "Not only does He not condemn us, He even brings
blessings from the ashes of our failures."
‘Wow!’ I said quietly.
Gracie called everyday as usual and she was a shoulder I
could lean on whenever and it was refreshing, she had an
open ear for my tales and a ring of laughter that turned my
frowns upside down.
Our parents were distant for quite a while, but they
eventually came around and they were now anticipating the
birth of the new born. Mum even surprised me on one Friday
when she came for the weekend just to be with me and
prepare me for my journey.
"I know you must feel like fish out of water when you go for
prenatal classes and checkups," she said gently stroking my
hair.
‘Yeah it's been horrible Mum, the couples do stare you
know,’ I complained.
"That's how complicated the journey of a single mum is, I'm
afraid…you are an easy target for judgment and
condemnation.
‘Why momma?’
"Because society has expectations, society has
standards...the church too, brace yourself for glares of
disapproval every step of the way my child. It's a difficult
road you chose but always remember that we are here for
you, okay? "she said and I nodded and we embraced.
40

Those words meant the world to me and it was so comforting
just knowing that they were there and that still cared for me
regardless of all my flaws.
Mum accompanied me to my next appointment with the
gynecologist and we were taken aback by the new
development.
"I was having twins!"
It was an awkward moment; we both laughed and cried at
the same time as our emotions took over.
"Life is full of surprises," we agreed as we had lunch joined
by Hannah who fell in love with Mum at first sight.
"Thank you for taking care of my egg, we've heard so much
about you," Mum said to Hannah, "At least I know she is
safe in your nest."
"I enjoy it, your daughter is a wonderful person, imperfect
like the rest of us but a great woman."
‘Oh, how I love affirmations...they are a resurrection pill,’ I
thought to myself.
"I'm glad you think so...I see it too," Mum said with light in
her eyes.
‘Hello...have I suddenly become invisible?’ I said looking
from Mum to Hannah, ‘I'm right here,’ I said and they
laughed, ‘But I can't believe it took you this long to admit
I'm greeeaaaat,’ I teased and they laughed.
"Don't kid yourself," Mum said with happy but teary eyes as
she wiped her hands.
41

"We should do this more often," Hannah said glancing from
mum to me.
‘Especially now that some of us are eating for three,’ I
chuckled.
"I should have put you on a leash," Mum teased me.
We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves then Hannah said her
goodbyes.
Before going to bed we broke the news to Dad and Gracie
through a video call and despite Dad having mixed feelings
about it, he went on to add on, "God makes no mistakes...we
need to see His glory in all this."
"I just love you sis...it's a good thing, we get to share the
babies too, just like we did with the dolls," she mused and
for the first time there were no tears or death stares, just
hearty laughs and love.
"Where there is unity, God commands a blessing" (Psalm )
42

Chapter Six
Gracie and Simba had their dowry and wedding ceremony
seven months after I had left for Bulawayo and Gracie had
come over to be with me for one last time as a single woman.
‘We had joy we had fun, we had seasons in the sun…’ I sang
along to the song that was on repeat.
"No one is dying here hello," my sister said switching it off.
‘But for the first time in my life I'm not only losing you...but
I also look like a fraternal twin,’ I complained and she
laughed.
"I hate to admit this to you, but for once I feel like the glamor
girl, with you looking like a little teapot, short and stout,"
she teased me mercilessly.
‘I know I look like a hippo but wait till you get pregnant
too...it's just a matter of time darling.’
Oh, how we loved being together...just the two of us. We
were like two souls knit together in the heavenlies.
We went for the final shopping together picking toys, more
diapers, among a whole lot of other baby staff.
‘I never pictured myself doing this alone,’ I said feeling
sorry for myself.
"It's nice to know that I'm nothing but a twig to you," Gracie
said quickly in amusement and we both laughed — we
always found a reason to laugh out loud.
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Without warning I suddenly felt pain like a knife cut through
my abdomen and I was terrified. This sharp pain came and
left so quickly only to return a few minutes later and this
time I screamed so loudly that the echoes of my screams
reverberated throughout the shop and had fellow shoppers
startled and concerned bringing the whole shop to a
standstill. Dropping everything in my hands and kneeling
down with my eyes tightly closed, biting my teeth and with
my hands on my belly, I knew that something was up.
"Glory what's happening right now?" Grace was panicking.
‘Oh my God, it's the babies,’ I shouted so loud, everyone ran
to my aid.
Some gentleman whisked me away in his strong arms like I
was a feather after my waters broke.
"Gracie...don't leave me," I said in a hoarse whisper still with
my teeth gritted.
"I'm right here Glo...it's okay," she said as she followed
briskly behind the gentlemen.
Before I knew it, we were in the backseat of his car and I was
drenched in sweat as the pangs of pain came and went.
Gracie called Hannah and like the reliable God sent she was,
she met us at the hospital on the parking spot with two nurses
and a wheelchair. Within minutes, I was all set and the doctor
confirmed that it was an early labor (for His glory). I was
helped into the hospital gown and moved to my room
begging for mercy.
The good Samaritan who had hurried to my aid was wellappreciated
but forgotten at that moment. Hannah held my
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hand on the right as Gracie held my left which I squeezed so
hard she had to break free a couple of times.
"My back," I screamed, "Can someone rub my back," I was
overwhelmed.
"To the woman He said: "I will greatly multiply your sorrow
and your conception; in pain you shall bring forth children;"
(Genesis 3:16)
I felt like the babies were ripping me apart and it was terrible.
"Push, push, push..." the words drummed in my ears but I
suddenly felt so powerless I couldn't do it.
"C'mon baby you can do this," Hannah shouted to get my
attention and as I looked in her eyes, I knew I had to do it
and I did. With all the energy left in my being, I pushed my
babies and they came out — five minutes apart. The room
was suddenly filled with the cries of my surprised babies.
"Oh my God," Grace looked like she was going to faint and
she was helped to a chair.
"We did it," Hannah smiled, tears running down her cheeks
as she hugged me before they let me hold my babies and we
all cried.
My heart was healed the very moment I laid my eyes on them
— as tiny as they were, they were amazing and I saw His
glory. I fell in love with them instantly and right then I just
knew that they were the best gift ever in regardless of how
they came to be. There was a new song in my spirit as I took
in the picture of my boys. I found the grace to forgive Mr.
Huni right then, released him and found the keys to regain
my freedom and to free myself from his hold; it was time.
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Before I had held them for long enough, the nurses took my
babies away and rushed them to the incubators as they were
prematurely born and after cleaning up, I fell asleep and
dreamt of beautiful things.
The next time I opened my eyes, I thought I had died and
gone to paradise as I woke up to find myself in the midst of
different bouquets of all kinds of flowers along with teddy
bears and the best present ever was that of my parents who
sat on either side of my bed.
"Congratulations my child," Dad said ever so gently with
teary eyes as he hugged me.
"Welcome to the club," Mum said, her cheeks wet and I
smiled.
Talk about emotions.
"Are you going to tell Mr. Huni?" Grace asked when we
were alone after she'd cleaned up too.
‘Should I?’ I asked thoughtfully.
"I don't know...I just wondered," she shrugged.
‘I never told him about the pregnancy though,’ I admitted.
"It's up to you, but I think he has a right to know — that's
just me," she said quietly and I took her advice.
46

Mr. Huni and his wife had four daughters whom he loved
dearly but he would do anything for a son. When I called him
and broke the news, he cried like a baby and asked for
pictures which I sent. Suddenly he was sorry wishing I had
told him about the pregnancy and he swore he wanted to be
involved and to be there for the boys.
I was stunned to silence as I listened to him but this time
around although I wasn't really in good books with the Lord,
I remembered part of his armor that is His Word thereby
having the courage to tell him that he and I could never, ever
be in the same sentence.
‘What we did was wrong and can never be right so let's stay
out of each other's way...I only called because I just thought
you had to know,’ I was cold and before he could trick me
again, I hung up.
I sat in the nursery looking at my babies as I thought about
the call and the whole story behind which had brought us to
this point. As I watched them, I had no clue that this was the
last time I'd see them alive at barely three days old, five
minutes apart again at birth and in death. This turned out to
be the darkest time in my life and I collapsed when they
broke the news only to wake up later with my family right
there to comfort me as devastated as I was.
The babies they were cremated when I was still
contemplating on names and I was so distraught and so hurt
that Gracie had to break the news to Mr. Huni who was so
devastated and still couldn't share the news with his family
so he mourned alone.
Back at home in Mt. Pleasant, I worked on finding myself
again. I had been given two-months leave instead of the
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regular three for maternity leave and that was enough to give
me ample time to heal.
Through Hannah's constant encouragement, I began taking
steps to reconciling with God. The devil was exposed in my
eyes, I learnt how to face him and live a victorious life in the
Lord. I learnt that the guilt that haunted me day and night
was founded on satanic lies. He militates against the truth of
the Word of God which states that our acceptance with God
has to do with nothing but faith in Christ. I learnt that God is
very unimpressed by my performance, but is deeply
impressed by Christ's performance. When I choose to put
childlike faith in Christ, His performance record is credited
to me. Having faith in Christ opens God's heart to me. When
I believe in His beloved Son, the Father's heart explodes in
affirmation, acceptance and delight which is to say that it is
totally independent of my diligence or intelligence. I
discovered that God is my greatest fan and, as my heavenly
Father, He is constantly coaxing me forward into the heights
of spiritual victory. When I fell, He was not disappointed in
me, but rather He was disappointed for me because He sees
the spiritual riches available for me and His heart breaks
when He watches me getting bypassed. God wants me to
share in heaven's best and He looks with wistful longing
when I shortchange myself spiritually. So, with me straying
way from His ways, it meant that I had been robbed of the
intimate communion of the secret garden, getting fed
continually by the illumination of God's Word, drinking
deeply of the Spirit's fountain, being cleansed, washed,
renewed in His presence and taking time to calm my hectic
heart.
‘I don't feel guilty anymore...I feel robbed...ripped off,’ I
admitted to Hannah over the phone and she knew I had
arrived.
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A deep longing and lovesickness arose in my heart and I
began telling God just how much I had missed Him, how
much I loved Him. I confessed, I repented and (I didn't care
if it was for the umpteenth time) I knew who I was.
‘I'm not one who struggles to love God, I'm a lover of God
who struggles with sin,’ I said to myself as I looked at myself
in the mirror, pasting the statement on it. I let the blood of
Jesus cleanse my defiled conscience as I received His
forgiveness.
After rededicating myself to the Lord finally...I was taught
that I had to get dressed now so I wouldn't fall again.
‘Get dressed how?’ I was confused.
"Put on the full armor of God," Pastor said full of wisdom
and understanding.
‘Wooow,’ I said fascinated as we opened to Ephesians 6.
"See...when you put on the armour of God, you are actually
putting on Christ. You are clothed with Christ." (Romans
13:14)
"Jesus is your article of clothing and when the Father looks
at you...He sees Christ," Pastor's face broke into a smile as
he continued, "Right then, you are stunning and attractive to
the Father and He not only favors you, but prefers you. He
is sooo pleased to have you in His embrace, Glory. When
you choose to clothe yourself with the real garments of
Christ, I promise you, your confidence levels before God
soar to the heavens and guess what?" he said with dancing
eyes, "Satan's accusations cannot lodge within you, they will
bounce off your shield of faith. You are accepted by the
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Father and you are free to enjoy the peaceful dialogue of
intimacy with Jesus Christ."
‘Wooow,’ I said amazed.
"It's amazing right?"
I went home with so much joy down in my heart this time.
Yes, I had fallen and yes, I had lost my babies, but it didn't
matter anymore because I was walking in forgiveness. All of
my guilt was erased and I got saved.
‘I'm undone by the mercy of Jesus. I'm done by the goodness
of the Lord, I'm restored and made right, He got a hold of my
life, I got Jesus how could I want more,’ I sang along and
that was like my anthem.
"Your Mum and I are so proud of you, you know that, right?"
Dad said one morning and it was music to my ears.
50

Chapter Seven
Gracie and Simba eventually tied the knot on a glorious
Saturday afternoon and the weather was as beautiful as the
bride. I was the maid of honor with a cousin and our other
friends being the other bridesmaids. Simba was on point with
his groomsmen in freshly ironed tuxedos.
The venue was like paradise — breathtakingly beautiful —
and the decor was so incredible with the music making me
tear up.
Nothing was more adorable than watching the flower girls
and the mini bride walk down the aisle and we followed
shortly with the groom and his team waiting for us — then
the moment that everyone was waiting for, that is, the bride
entering.
My Grace, my twin, my sis looked exquisite like she had
come out of a magazine. That made me so proud of her and
being her twin made me feel all the more important
particularly when she got a standing ovation as she walked
down the aisle being escorted by dad to her mesmerized
groom.
My mind suddenly took a trip down memory lane as I
recalled how I had bruised some hearts, damaged emotions
but still justified myself until now. All of them were either
engaged or just married now and the only singles I knew
were either too young or simply very old widowers; talk
about missing your window, I mused in my head.
"Why did you break up with Tendai? He is heartbroken Glo,"
I heard Grace voice from long ago.
‘He forgot my birthday,’ I had snapped.
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"So?"
‘So, there is no space in my heart for a man who forgets
important dates.’
"You should see how devastated he is, you know he really
cares for you,"
‘Don't worry sis, he'll get over it,’ I had said nonchalantly.
“You said that too about Phillip Glo, remember?”
‘He deserved it, he was fifteen minutes late for our date and
yet he knew how much I don't like waiting.’
"You are unbelievable!" Grace disliked that about me.
‘The right person for me will show up one day, I mean, it
will be effortless,’ I had fantasized but now with my story, I
wondered if that'd ever come to pass.
As I watched the flashback of my life, hearing my doubts...I
could sense waves of guilt approaching but as promised, the
Holy Spirit showed up and reminded me one more time;
"There is now 'no condemnation."
I smiled victoriously as the guilt bounced back where it came
from. I had dressed up with the armor and the accuser could
no longer touch me.
"Hallelujah!"
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"You may now kiss the bride," the Pastor's voice brought me
back to the present and everyone clapped and ululated.
Photo shoots, cake cutting, feasting, dancing and I caught the
bouquet which really amused me.
‘I mean I'm nowhere near tying any knot,’ I laughed as
Hannah waged her finger at me.
"God is full of surprises," she had said, "He is not done with
you yet."
‘I'm all in,’ I said as a matter of fact.
The lovebirds left for their honeymoon and I left for
Bulawayo with Hannah and her family. The road trip was
fun-filled and it was the birth of a trip of a kind between
Jordan, (Hannah's eldest son) and I. God was really full of
surprises.
‘All along, he's been more of a big brother to me,’ I said
shyly and Gracie broke in fits of excited laughter.
"I can't believe you didn't see the way he was checking you
out Glo," she said shocking me.
‘Don't be silly...I only said he's a nice guy who happens to
get me...there isn't anything to it trust me, remember I'm still
finding myself,’ I said as she giggled.
"In the fullness of time..." she said, "Thou eyes shall see,"
she teased and we both laughed.
The city of Kings was kind to me as I got back on my feet. I
took it one step at a time and His mercies were new every
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morning. Back at work, I was showered with so much love
and I enjoyed it. Life went on as it always does.
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Chapter Eight
"And we know that all things work together for good to those
who love God, to those who are the called according to His
purpose." (Romans 8:28)
When God looks over the balconies of heaven and sees us
crippled by the surgeons of sin, broken because of the sin of
Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden, hopeless, without God,
outside the covenant of Israel,...God looks at us through the
eyes of love and says, "I want this one!"
I woke up to that message from Hannah and it warmed my
heart. I found the peace of God wrapping my soul and it was
refreshing.
That moment I realized that I had finally reached the TOP,
only that the definition was now different from when I first
embarked on the journey. The TOP meant I was in right
standing with God, I had been cleansed of all
unrighteousness, I was walking in total freedom, I was
walking in my destiny in Christ Jesus my Lord. I was
restored and dressed up with the armor.
The journey to the top had been worth it. I had made it in one
piece even though I had been gracefully broken. One thing I
knew was that through the crushing and through the
pressing, He molded me into the rightful person who He
created me to be and I was exactly where He wanted me to
be.
"Who the Son sets free, is free indeed"
I anticipated what awaited me at the top and I was convinced
that my boundary lines had fallen in pleasant places.
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"The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places; Yes, I have
a good inheritance."(Psalm 16:6)
I had learnt a life lesson albeit through the long and hard
way. Trying to help God’s plan in my life was like trying to
get out and push a flying jet. I couldn't help, and I just ended
up getting hurt. How many Christians have hurt themselves
simply by getting out to push? They have tried to speed up
the will of God by putting their own ideas and efforts into
God’s existing plan. “Promotion comes by degrees” Psalm
131 begins with this phrase to let us know that any rank in
life comes over a period of time. God is smart in allowing
promotion to come slowly. Those who advance too quickly
because of their own efforts or talents have found the descent
to be faster than the ascent. Slow growth allows us to learn
valuable lessons on the way up, so once we reach the top, we
can stay there and truly enjoy all the benefits.
I may miss some things or forget others but this I will
always remember;
"God will bring it to pass...whatever it is. The Lord is the
author and finisher, the beginning and ending, the Alpha
and Omega. And that, “...He who began a good work in
you will perfect it.” (Philippians 1:6 NAS)
The End
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EPILOGUE
I don’t know where you stand in your relationship with God
today. If you are saved then congratulations, as according to
John 3:16, you will not perish but have everlasting life, but
if you haven’t found salvation, it’s never too late to be saved
today — right now. Whatever you’ve done that you may feel
cannot be forgiven, God says,
“Come now, let us reason together. Though your sins are
like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are
red as crimson, they shall be like wool.” (Isaiah 1:18)
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive
us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John
1:9)
God wants you to know Him and He wants a relationship
with us. So, if you are thinking that you want to know this
God who loves you unconditionally, then all you need to do
is pray something like this to Him;
“Thank you, Jesus, for loving me so much that you died for
me on the cross. Today, I know that you are knocking on my
heart’s door and asking to come in my life. So, I open my
heart’s door. I ask you to come in and live with me, to forgive
me of my sins, and be my Savior and friend. From this day
forward, I am going to live with you, love you, and follow
you. Thank you for forgiving me of every sin and making
me a new person in Christ.”
If you genuinely open your heart to God, then He will change
your life and you will start a beautiful relationship with Him.
If that is so, then welcome to the family of God.
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