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SPINAL NETWORK NEWS 31<br />
Hospital<br />
There is nothing quite like people who tell it like it is. Hamish<br />
Ramsden is one of those people. The published author of the book<br />
Dog’s Getting Fat is a regular columnist for the NZST. He tells us<br />
just why he hates being in hospital.<br />
—Hamish Ramsden<br />
I’m grumpy because it is the<br />
one time that I feel that I don’t<br />
need to put on a bit of a front.<br />
sick or injured but why so grumpy? I’m grumpy because it<br />
is the one time that I feel that I don’t need to put on a bit<br />
of a front. A front that pretends that everything is okay,<br />
when occasionally life is just not that great. I know I<br />
shouldn’t do this, but sometimes I do, as when you are<br />
interacting with other people all the time, they don’t like<br />
to be around someone grumpy. No one does.<br />
HONESTY: Hamish says he sometimes "pretends that everything is OK,<br />
when occasionally life is just not that great."<br />
What is it about hospitals? Apart from the<br />
obvious, no one likes going there as a visitor<br />
or even less as a patient and why is it that you<br />
often seem to get crook with a different<br />
ailment when you go to one?<br />
I have spent more than my fair share of time in hospitals<br />
due to my accident; I have spent enough time lying down<br />
for three lifetimes, hence there is an inner drive within<br />
me now to try and <strong>res</strong>ist the temptation to sleep in in the<br />
mornings or spend more time lazing in bed. I’m already in<br />
credit big time.<br />
So, if I’ve ended up in hospital, why am I such a grumpy<br />
prick? The nurses, the doctors, physios, receptionists,<br />
cleaners, caterers etc, are all fantastic and you are treated<br />
very well. Despite all the things you hear or read about<br />
our health system when you really need it, it does a damn<br />
fine job, I think. OK, I know I’m in hospital because I’m<br />
So, I figure why do I have to put up the front in hospital<br />
when I really don’t need to. It doesn’t mean that I’m<br />
grumpy with the nurses and staff, what it means is that I<br />
don’t want visitors. I know they mean well and that they<br />
are there to wish me a good recovery and to lighten my<br />
day, but in my eyes that means that I have got to use my<br />
limited <strong>res</strong>erves to smile and say that I’m doing OK, and<br />
things are looking up. So, if I sometimes put up the front<br />
during the year, then this is the one time that I treat<br />
myself by not having to do it. I’ve been known to turn<br />
away friends and relatives, even those with gifts!<br />
I know I shouldn’t, but I make no apologies for doing it. It<br />
is my time and, in the end, although I may not always be<br />
grumpy, when you are feeling a bit crook it is just one<br />
more thing to do. It’s just like having a bad day at work,<br />
they happen, and I bet you don’t smile and act cheery all<br />
the way through that. So, all I’m doing is saying yep, I’m<br />
grumpy, leave me alone, don’t feel sorry for me, I’ll get<br />
over it. It’s being a bit precious; I know.<br />
So don’t take it personally, it is not just about you, it is the<br />
one time when it’s all about me (although some people<br />
may contradict me on this). Don’t feel sorry for me, just<br />
leave me alone to wal<strong>low</strong> in my own self-pity, I’ll get over<br />
it, and so will you and you’ll see me beaming the day that<br />
I leave hospital. That’s when you can catch me to say Hi! I<br />
promise my smile will be genuine.