SNN_December 2022 Issue_web low res

SPINAL NETWORK NEWS 31
Hospital
There is nothing quite like people who tell it like it is. Hamish
Ramsden is one of those people. The published author of the book
Dog’s Getting Fat is a regular columnist for the NZST. He tells us
just why he hates being in hospital.
—Hamish Ramsden
I’m grumpy because it is the
one time that I feel that I don’t
need to put on a bit of a front.
sick or injured but why so grumpy? I’m grumpy because it
is the one time that I feel that I don’t need to put on a bit
of a front. A front that pretends that everything is okay,
when occasionally life is just not that great. I know I
shouldn’t do this, but sometimes I do, as when you are
interacting with other people all the time, they don’t like
to be around someone grumpy. No one does.
HONESTY: Hamish says he sometimes "pretends that everything is OK,
when occasionally life is just not that great."
What is it about hospitals? Apart from the
obvious, no one likes going there as a visitor
or even less as a patient and why is it that you
often seem to get crook with a different
ailment when you go to one?
I have spent more than my fair share of time in hospitals
due to my accident; I have spent enough time lying down
for three lifetimes, hence there is an inner drive within
me now to try and resist the temptation to sleep in in the
mornings or spend more time lazing in bed. I’m already in
credit big time.
So, if I’ve ended up in hospital, why am I such a grumpy
prick? The nurses, the doctors, physios, receptionists,
cleaners, caterers etc, are all fantastic and you are treated
very well. Despite all the things you hear or read about
our health system when you really need it, it does a damn
fine job, I think. OK, I know I’m in hospital because I’m
So, I figure why do I have to put up the front in hospital
when I really don’t need to. It doesn’t mean that I’m
grumpy with the nurses and staff, what it means is that I
don’t want visitors. I know they mean well and that they
are there to wish me a good recovery and to lighten my
day, but in my eyes that means that I have got to use my
limited reserves to smile and say that I’m doing OK, and
things are looking up. So, if I sometimes put up the front
during the year, then this is the one time that I treat
myself by not having to do it. I’ve been known to turn
away friends and relatives, even those with gifts!
I know I shouldn’t, but I make no apologies for doing it. It
is my time and, in the end, although I may not always be
grumpy, when you are feeling a bit crook it is just one
more thing to do. It’s just like having a bad day at work,
they happen, and I bet you don’t smile and act cheery all
the way through that. So, all I’m doing is saying yep, I’m
grumpy, leave me alone, don’t feel sorry for me, I’ll get
over it. It’s being a bit precious; I know.
So don’t take it personally, it is not just about you, it is the
one time when it’s all about me (although some people
may contradict me on this). Don’t feel sorry for me, just
leave me alone to wallow in my own self-pity, I’ll get over
it, and so will you and you’ll see me beaming the day that
I leave hospital. That’s when you can catch me to say Hi! I
promise my smile will be genuine.