diary-of-a-wimpy-kid-meldown-13

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MondayWhen I woke up this morning, it was belowfreezing outside. I was relieved it actually felt likeWINTER again, but when Mom told me I had towear thermal underwear to school, I thought maybeglobal warming isn’t such a bad thing after all.I HATE wearing thermal underwear, because it’suncomfortable, and I feel RIDICULOUS wearingit. Thermal underwear looks cool when it’s on themannequin at the mall, but when I put it on, Ijust look like a retired superhero.The mannequins at the mall are always super buff,and they make guys like me who can’t spend threehours in the gym every day look bad.49
If I ever get in really good shape, I’m gonnasign up to be a mannequin model. Because that wouldbe an awesome thing to brag about on a date.The mannequins you see at the sports store arealways in athletic poses, and it looks like it wouldbe HARD to stay in that position while someonesculpts you. And that’s just too much effort for ajob that should be EASY.50
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THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID SERIES1Dia
Page 5 and 6: PUBLISHER’S N OTE: This is a work
Page 8 and 9: januaryMondayEverybody in my neighb
Page 10 and 11: It kind of makes me nervous that I
Page 12 and 13: Whatever the answer is, I guarantee
Page 14 and 15: My brother Rodrick says that in the
Page 16 and 17: Speaking of SURVIVAL, right now, I
Page 18 and 19: Anyway, that was two months back, a
Page 20 and 21: That’s when I remembered that I h
Page 22 and 23: Luckily, there were a few decent it
Page 24 and 25: Kids came in from the elementary sc
Page 26 and 27: TuesdayWell, I THOUGHT I was in the
Page 28 and 29: Mom says kids these days don’t kn
Page 30 and 31: Across the street from Fregley is J
Page 32 and 33: Mitchell lives next to a boy one ye
Page 34 and 35: Everyone calls him Baby Gibson, bec
Page 36 and 37: A few doors down from me are the Ga
Page 38 and 39: Latricia Hooks lives in the one-sto
Page 40 and 41: Living on the hill is no fun. First
Page 42 and 43: In fact, the reason it took me four
Page 44 and 45: If you live on Surrey Street, you
Page 46 and 47: SundayThe temperature dropped about
Page 48 and 49: We’ve been putting up signs askin
Page 50 and 51: Mom says it’s IMPOSSIBLE for huma
Page 52 and 53: But the three of us have never been
Page 54 and 55: So Mom made a rule that we can’t
Page 58 and 59: So when I apply for the job, I’m
Page 60 and 61: I’ve heard glaciers move SLOWLY,
Page 62 and 63: There are some kids on my hill whos
Page 64 and 65: She taught us how to play a game ca
Page 66 and 67: I told Albert his story wasn’t tr
Page 68 and 69: Teddy’s sweater has NEVER been cl
Page 70 and 71: So I shot a spitball in the sick on
Page 72 and 73: But I’m sure my bubble wouldn’t
Page 74 and 75: Our next stop was the town library.
Page 76 and 77: But I didn’t feel like it was the
Page 78 and 79: Mom said I should wear earmuffs, to
Page 80 and 81: I wouldn’t want to lose my NOSE,
Page 82 and 83: I guess a lot of OTHER kids were wo
Page 84 and 85: Gramma usually keeps a key inside h
Page 86 and 87: Gramma had a bunch of snacks in her
Page 88 and 89: We set the timer to thirty minutes
Page 90 and 91: We heard some more stomping around
Page 92 and 93: I figured as soon as Rowley was out
Page 94 and 95: What happened was that Lily Bodner
Page 96 and 97: On New Year’s Eve, he said it was
Page 98 and 99: I know it’s kind of ridiculous to
Page 100 and 101: After a while, I’m sure the girls
Page 102 and 103: In fact, it’s hard to even know w
Page 104 and 105: If I can work FOR the Safety Patrol
Page 106 and 107:
So I’ve been giving him the insid
Page 108 and 109:
At the end of the day, we all went
Page 110 and 111:
The SAFETY PATROLS get ambushed, to
Page 112 and 113:
I guess my parents thought I was JO
Page 114 and 115:
I knew the Safety Patrols wouldn’
Page 116 and 117:
Unfortunately, we were right at the
Page 118 and 119:
So we stopped every few houses, and
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In History we were FREEZING, but ou
Page 122 and 123:
While most of us were freezing our
Page 124 and 125:
So after we got dismissed, we heade
Page 126 and 127:
It was really STEEP, and someone bu
Page 128 and 129:
The second it happened, the driver
Page 130 and 131:
That was all it took. These guys ne
Page 132 and 133:
Believe me, that was the LAST thing
Page 134 and 135:
But those guys must’ve known we w
Page 136 and 137:
Rowley was PANICKED, but I wasn’t
Page 138 and 139:
It turned out the light WAS coming
Page 140 and 141:
I thought we were LUCKY, because at
Page 142 and 143:
All I knew for sure was that if we
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It snowed at least five inches over
Page 146 and 147:
It was another NOTE with a BATTERY
Page 148 and 149:
I’ve already decided that when I
Page 150 and 151:
Then I remembered a game me and Rod
Page 152 and 153:
I figured Manny could play on the b
Page 154 and 155:
But there was just too much snow, a
Page 156 and 157:
By the time my PARENTS got home, th
Page 158 and 159:
I can only remember one time Dad pl
Page 160 and 161:
Manny had used up most of the snow
Page 162 and 163:
I don’t actually think it’s a g
Page 164 and 165:
Rowley only has one sled, but there
Page 166 and 167:
Since we couldn’t SLED anymore, w
Page 168 and 169:
After those idiots ran out of snowb
Page 170 and 171:
Dad said that when HE was growing u
Page 172 and 173:
But when you add an axe and a wolf,
Page 174 and 175:
When we got back to the house, we t
Page 176 and 177:
SundayIt must’ve snowed another s
Page 178 and 179:
I wanted to get started making a fo
Page 180 and 181:
But when we got closer, we were SHO
Page 182 and 183:
The empty lot was totally overcrowd
Page 184 and 185:
I figured they’d wear themselves
Page 186 and 187:
The homeschooled kids must’ve kno
Page 188 and 189:
Me and Rowley got driven out of the
Page 190 and 191:
But while we were doing all that TA
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We weren’t gonna be able to get b
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And this time they were armed to th
Page 196 and 197:
But we’d have to deal with him LA
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We didn’t have a second to celebr
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We were all pretty thirsty on the w
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In fact, they looked like they were
Page 204 and 205:
After that, the mood inside the wal
Page 206 and 207:
Trevor was out of breath, and could
Page 208 and 209:
Me and Rowley wanted to be a part o
Page 210 and 211:
But the other guys didn’t even FL
Page 212:
Half the girls on the Safety Patrol
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The last Mingo to emerge was MECKLE
Page 218 and 219:
There was a big hole in a collapsed
Page 220 and 221:
But then the ground stopped shaking
Page 222 and 223:
FridayWe’ve been back at school f
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But I’m not gonna complain. I’m
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