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PAGE 20—SUNDAY VANGUARD, NOVEMBER 20, 2022 No reason why married mothers shouldn’t make love every night! TONIGHT, once our “ three young children are in bed, my husband Fred and I will head upstairs together for an early night,” says Anjola, a 36-year old cosmetologist. “We might have a glass of wine each and, afterwards, give each other a massage and, chances are, we’ll make love before falling asleep in each other’s arms. Considering the chaos of family life, you might imagine this to be a special occasion but we have sex practically every night. Intimacy is a huge part of our 14-year relationship, the glue that bonds our marriage together. Having three children is no excuse for letting your love life dwindle.” Anjola is reacting to the view that the more children a couple has, the more they relegate sex to the back burner. “I feel desperately sorry for couples who find themselves boxed to this unfortunate corner,” she continues. “It is a surprise they would let a crucial side of their relationship wane. Luckily for me, I am selfemployed and work flexible hours. But after a day spent looking after the children, I yearn for my husband’s embrace. His desire for me makes me feel alive, confident and secure. It has boosted my self-esteem and I believe helped me through postnatal depression, as well as the devastation of two miscarriages. I could never imagine going for days – let alone months – without making love with him. “I was 21 and doing my youth service when we met and he was one of the bosses in the logistics company I served at. When we started dating, we waited months before making love. When we did, the chemistry was palpable – and it has remained so over a decade together and three children. For some women – and their partners – the thought of sex during pregnancy is a huge turn off. But for me, that’s when my libido goes through the roof. Fred used to joke: ‘Leave me alone, I’m exhausted!’” Surely, she and her husband couldn’t be at it every day?! “Of course not! There are times when nature knows best. Like most new mums, sex was the last thing on my mind immediately after giving birth. But it never even occurred to me that things wouldn’t pick up again in the bedroom as soon as I healed. After my six-week check-up, we became intimate again and it felt so natural. It was gentler than before the birth, but a relief to be able to show each other physical affection again. Not that it was plain – sailing – I struggled with over-tiredness and began to suffer lethargy. I also had a bout of postnatal depression and was prescribed antidepressants. “For some, libido vanishes with depression. But, if anything, sex became more important to me, as it helped me more than any medication. The endorphins release that sex produces boosted my feel-good hormones like no tablet ever could. Admittedly my body has changed after three children, but the fact that Fred found me attractive made me feel sexy and desirable. We are lucky that our children sleep well. I can understand why some mothers feel too exhausted to want sex. But on my most bleary-eyed days, I can spare an hour to be intimate with my husband’s physical attention as much as he needs me. I make an extra special effort for him too, and whatever drab clothes I have on, underneath them I always wear beautiful, matching, lacy lingerie. It is as much a treat for him as it is for me. “Today, sex is just as important to us as it ever was, if not more so. As busy working-parents of three children, you might expect us to have to schedule it into the diary, but that would spoil the fun. Instead, we simply go to bed around 10.00pm and make love most nights. I’d have to reevaluate my entire relationship if I hadn’t had sex for more than a few days. It’s not that I think that Fred would look elsewhere. Some women say they go off sex because their body has changed or their partners body has altered. My husband and I are by no means perfect specimens. I was very slim when we met but I’ve put on some weight. Fred’s weight has fluctuated too. But in all that time, we’ve never stopped fancying each other. “Fred is my best friend. He was here before we had our children and he will be here when they’ve flown the nest. We see it happen so often – couples separating when their children have left home because they have nothing at all in common. I could never allow that to happen...” A Leopard And Its Spots! (Humour) A couple return from their honeymoon and it’s obvious to everyone that they’re not talking to each other. The groom’s best man takes him aside and asks what’s wrong. “Well” replies the man, “when we finished making love on the first night, I got up to go to the bath-room and placed three N1,000 notes on the pillow without thinking.” “Oh, I shouldn’t worry about that too much,” says his friend. “I’m sure your wife will get over it soon enough. She can’t expect you to have been saving yourself all these years.” The groom, nods his head gravely and continues: “I don’t know I’ll get over it though. She gave me N500 change.” Birds Of The Same Feather? (Humour) A woman goes to a dating agency saying, she doesn’t care about looks, money or background. All she wants is a decent, honourable man. Later that day, a man comes in and tells them the only thing he is seeking in a woman is intelligence. The agency matches them together at once. They have one thing in common – they’re both compulsive liars! Networking/ Sponsorship Glory 21, dark in complexion, from Akwa- Ibom State but resides in Benin City, needs a pet father or mother, aged 25- 40.09065203477 DISCLAIMER! Searching Male Nnamdi 35, tall and resides in Lagos, needs a tall and fleshy lady for a relationship that will lead to marriage. 08037591322, 08037591322 Godwin 36, resides in Abuja, is proudly Catholic, and needs, a pretty lady aged 20-30 for a serious relationship that can lead to marriage. 08053556785 Dear readers, please note that we neither operate, nor are we an affiliate of any match–making agency in or outside the country. Any reader who transacts business with any one claiming to be our agent does so at his/her own risk. Our mission is only to provide a platform for social networking. Also note that neither Vanguard, nor Yetunde Arebi will be liable for any error in the publication of requests which may result in any form of embarrassment to any member of the public. We therefore request that text must be sent through at least one of the numbers for contact. This notice is necessary to enable us serve you better in our refreshingly different style. You can send your requests to 33055. For enquiries, text or call 08026651636, or 08054700825 NASS ELECTION: Dafinone solicits Osawota's support The All Progressives Congress (APC ) Delta Central Senatorial candidate,for 2023 election, Chief Ede Dafinone, has solicited the support of Chief Andi Osawota for his political ambition . The son of late Senator David Dafinone who spoke during his visit to Chief Osawota's country home in Orogun, Ughelli North Local Government Area on Wednesday, remarked that his host is an influencial political leader not only in Orogun but in Urhobo nation. The APC candidate therefore stated that he was in great need of the of support of Chief Osawota in order to win the election in Delta Central. He also commended Chief Osawota for defecting from the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) to APC, noting that the move was a wise decision. In his response, Chief Osawota said that Chief Dafinone was the best candidate for the Delta Central Senatorial seat and therefore declared his total support for him Kola 47, a clergy resides in Abeokuta, needs a Godfearing lady for settling down. 08164178084 Jovee 35, tall and handsome, needs an employed decent lady, aged 2I-35, who resides in Benin City, for marriage. 08071937017,08060561844 Lanre 52, a widower with two grown children of ages 22 an 20, resides in Ifo Ogun State, a poultry farmer and education consultant, needs a Flooding will not affect census exercise — Odibo gainst the backdrop of Adisplacement of persons by flooding, the Federal C o m m i s s i o n e r representating Delta State at the National Population Commission (NPC ), Chief Richard Odibo has assured that there will be no cause for alarm in the event of flooding during next year's national population census. He gave the assurance in an interaction with our correspondent at his Ekpan, Uvwie Local Government Area residence. Odibo said in the event of flooding victims will be countedwhere ever they are. He, however, expressed delight that this year's ravaging flood has receded as he prayed that it should not occur again. The commissioner disclosed that over 30,000 ad hoc staff would be engaged in the 2023 national and housing population census in Delta State, saying that majority of those to be engaged will come from communities where they are residents . " They must be Nigerians, aged between 20 to 60 years who have functional phone number and email " he added Odibo mentioned other The honorable Federal Commissioner, representing Delta State at the National Population Commission (NPC), Chief Richard Odibo (middle), with other staff of the commission during their sensitisation walk on the 2023 National Population and Housing Census in Asaba, headquarters of Delta State, on Wednesday 16th November, 2022. qualifications to include : the the ability to read and write in English language, a functional (non student) operational bank account, ICT literate, a minimum educational qualification of SSCE and a National Identification Number . He therefore enjoined interested Deltans that have these requirements to apply online through http://2023 responsible, faithful and employed lady, aged 30-45, for a relationship.08034206054 Ik 44, from Imo State but lives in Abeokuta, a Christian and a street evangelist, easygoing, M.Ed holder and a teacher, needs a lady of virtue who is ready for marriage and will gladly be involved in his church activities for marriage, aged 25-33. 0 9 0 6 7 9 3 9 6 1 6 , 09026779507,08062456851 2023: Pela promises to end hunger in Delta G overnorship candidate of Labour Party, LP, in Delta State, Deacon Kennedy Pela, has promised to better the lives of Deltans and end hunger in the state. Pela gave this charge at a special annual thanksgiving service of the Avenue Baptist Church, Warri, while thanking God for the opportunity given to him to run as governorship flagbearer of the Labour Party in the 2023 general elections. Sharing his vison for Deltans at the event, he said that it is a good thing to promote righteousness which will bring peace and harmony across the state. census adhocrecuitment. nationalpopulation.gov.ng. Odibo further averred that the e - registration portal could be accessed between October 31st and December 28th 2022 .He however disclosed that the portal would be temporary shut down between November 7th and 13th for audit and was reopened for accessement on November 14th,2022 . He stressed that the recruitment exercise will strictly be based on merit. He said that his dream to succeed Governor Ifeanyi Okowa was God's call to him. He promised to turn the state around for good by bringing enduring peace, creating job opportunities through alignment with his presidential candidate, Mr. Peter Obi, to move Delta from consuming to producing state. He therefore, enjoined Deltans to promote righteousness to ensure peace and harmony. Pela assured that people's living standard will improve as his administration will also focus on health, education, and many more when he assumes office.
New covenant giving What is God worth to us? Is he only worthy of a tithe of our income? Every Christian should be allowed to determine this for himself. Institutionalised tithing limits the generosity of a believer. Once we give 10%, we believe we have fulfilled all righteousness. But this limitation is shortsighted. Jesus says: “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Luke 6:38). Therefore, we must not use the measure of a delimited tithe. Hardened hearts Jesus says divorce is not God’s will: “From the beginning, it was not so.” (Matthew 19:8). Moses only gave the law permitting divorce because of the hardness of the hearts of the Jews. The same thing applies to Malachi and the compulsion to give tithes and offerings. From the beginning, people of God were not compelled or threatened to give. Indeed, the insistence of pastors on tithes and offerings today is anachronistic. It is tantamount to putting Jesus’ new wine in old bottles which Jesus says is inappropriate. (Matthew 9:16- 17). The Law of Moses was given to the Jews because they did not know the right thing to do. But in spite of the law, the Jews were still not inclined to give because their hearts were hardened. Therefore, Malachi called them robbers of God; and he threatened them with curses, the devourer, and the denial of blessings. However, the application of Malachi’s invective to believers today is insulting. The believer is a lawkeeper, but Paul says: “The The only acceptable basis for all action in Christ is love law is not made for a righteous person, but for the lawless.” (1 Timothy 1:9). Indeed, once a man makes it a law that you must pay tithes and give offerings, he has spoilt you for the gospel. He has already determined that you are a hard-hearted lawbreaker. But in the believer in Christ is fulfilled the promise of God: “I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. Then they will follow My decrees and be careful to keep My laws.” (Ezekiel 11:19- 20). The true believer no longer keeps God’s laws out of compulsion. But he or she says: “I desire to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart.” (Psalm 40:8). Instead of the Law of Moses, God has now given us “the law of liberty.” Accordingly, we no longer give because of “legal” requirements. The only acceptable basis for all action in Christ is love. New spirit How can you get a believer in Christ to do the right thing? You do not have to do SUNDAY Vanguard, NOVEMBER 20, 2022, PAGE 21 anything at all because a true believer will naturally do the right thing. A true believer will do the right thing because it is in his nature to do so. He gives because it is in his nature to give. Nobody has to compel or threaten him. Nobody needs to manipulate or bewitch him. Doing the right thing is the fruit of his spirit. When Samuel was explaining the dynamics of the kingdom of God to Saul, he told him that the Spirit of the Lord would come mightily upon him, and he would start to prophesy like one of the prophets. When that happens, he told Saul to do whatever seemed best to him for God would guide him. (1 Samuel 10:7). Saul would not need any man to teach him what to do: he would do it naturally. It is this dynamic that John was referring to when he wrote that believers have received the Holy Spirit and therefore no longer need anyone to teach us what is right: “You have received the Holy Spirit, and He lives within you, in your hearts, so that you don’t need anyone to teach you what is right.” (1 John 2:27). Free will giving This was the case of Abraham. When Abraham gave a tithe (tenth) of all his spoils of war to Melchizedec, a priest of the Most High God, nobody told him to do so. He did so of his own volition. The pureness of Abraham’s heart naturally led to his godly decision to honour the Lord with his possessions and with the first fruits of the increase in his resources. Where the Spirit of God is there is liberty. (2 Corinthians 3:17). Even in the Old Testament, God only welcomed offerings not given out of compulsion. Thus, He instructed Moses: “Take from among you an offering to the LORD. Whoever is of a willing heart, let him bring it as an offering to the LORD: gold, silver, and bronze.” (Exodus 35:5). “Then everyone came whose heart was stirred, and everyone whose spirit was willing, and they brought the LORD’S offering for the work of the tabernacle of meeting, for all its service, and for the holy garments.” (Exodus 35:21) In the construction and furnishing of the tabernacle, the people gave so willingly, they even gave too much: “The people were restrained from bringing, for the material they had was sufficient for all the work to be doneindeed too much. (Exodus 36:5-7). That is the giving that pleases the Lord; giving that derives from the abundance of the heart. Whole-hearted giving This principle of whole-hearted giving is amplified in the New Testament. Paul notes that: “If there is first a willing mind, it is accepted according to what one has, and not according to what he does not have.” (2 Corinthians 8:12). However, many pastors ask their congregants to make pledges even according to what they do not have. They tell them to “stretch their faith.” Such manipulation is anathema to New Testament precepts where compulsive giving is now out of date: “Let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver.” (2 Corinthians 9:7). Should you give a tenth, a fifth, or half of your income? Decide for yourself between yourself and God. It is no business of your pastor. Tithing because of Malachi is tantamount to giving out of necessity. But the believer of today (the new creation) no longer gives because he is trying to avoid curses and the devourer. He gives because he loves to give. He gives because he wants to be like our heavenly Father. He gives because he loves God. This means he can decide to give this proportion of his income this month and another proportion next month. The decision is entirely up to him. Moreover, if he chooses not to give, God is not going to deny him His kingdom. He is not going to rain down curses on him. The devourer is not going to be let loose on him. The windows of heaven will not be shut against him. Let no one deceive you. A true believer cannot be cursed. You can only curse a believer who believes he can be cursed. Jesus says: “According to your faith will it be done to you. (Matthew 9:29). RUNNING WITH VISION UNTO SUCCESS: THE ART OF LEADERSHIP (6) INTRODUCTION IN the last serial, we introduced the subject of motivation as a tool for developing corporate success by the leader for an organization. In this serial, we will continue with this subject and look at factors that enhance motivation, which leaders can consider as the occasion demands. THE FACTORS NEEDED FOR MOTIVATION You can motivate members of followers with the following factors in their order of importance. Treating them with respect wins them over and wins battles. Next is by assigning work that is interesting and meaningful to them, because each person performs best in his or her field of expertise. Another important factor that is often overlooked is giving appropriate recognition for good work and performance. Recognition and appreciation for good work done by an individual makes that person perform more in subsequent times. Next in importance is making sure they have the opportunity to develop their own skills. People need to be personally fulfilled too while they are involved in matters of Pastor Akinola on and assure them of ‘job security’ while you also treasure their involvement in the organization. MOTIVATION AND TRAINING IN THEIR SPIRITS We must strike a balance between motivation and training them to respond to the stirring of the Holy spirit in their hearts. We must remember that we are more concerned here about spiritual organization; hence, the factor of the Holy Spirit leading on the individual must not be overlooked. In spiritual organizations, it is also pertinent to note that each member is almost like a volunteer, and must be encouraged accordingly. Motivation is not absolutely effective all the time, and hence we must look “outside the box” for solutions to Are you a Christian or just a believer? NOT all those who call on the name of the Lord shall enter into the kingdom of heaven, because they are not Christians, but mere believers in Christ, who have not the Spirit of Christ, as written in Romans 8:9c; “Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of His.” That is, such one is not a Christian but a mere believer in Christ like Judas, the devil amongst the twelve apostles. In Jeremiah 5:26, God said; “For amongst my people are found wicked men: they lay wait, as he that setteth snares; they set a trap, they catch men.” These are the workers of iniquity who believe in corporate success. Next is to encourage them to do better and more effectively the things you assigned. This might be by way of providing an enabling environment for their better performance. Next in order of importance is specifying the freedom they have to think for themselves in relation to the assignments. An independent thinking mindset helps followers to come up with ingenious solutions to problems, and harness the best of them for the organization. Next in importance is keeping them in focus at the end results of their work. It is good to make our followers have an eye for the finishing line while working. This is one of the reasons for stating ab-initio to our followers the Vision and Mission of the organization. The Scripture says in Hab. 2:2 that “write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run, that readeth it”. The reader of the vision sees the finishing line and work towards it. The next is for you to be an efficient manager and leader to your members and followers, and give them assignments that are challenging enough to them. Also, make them feel well informed about what is going Christ but they are not Christians, hence Jesus does not know them, even if they have done wonderful works in His name – Matthew 7:21-23. If believers in Christ must be Christians indeed, then they must be born again of the word of truth, which is the gospel of salvation that will seal them with the Spirit of Christ, as written in Ephesians 1:13; “In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that Holy Spirit of promise.” That is why all believers in Christ must hear the word of truth, believe it and obey it, that they may be saved to become Christians indeed, otherwise, they will be eternally damned, if they do not believe the truth as written in 2 Thessalonians 2:10,12 "And with all deceivableness of unrighteousness in them that perish; because they received not the love of the truth, that they might be saved. That they all might be damned who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness.” The mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, given by Jesus to the few chosen, who are of the truth, make up the truth – Matthew 13:11. But many prophets and righteous men who are not given to know these mysteries, desire to see and corporate success. Members must therefore motivate themselves and respond to the leading of the Holy Spirit in their quest to contributing to corporate success of an organization. CONCLUSION Motivation is a concept that relates more to the followers in an to hear them but have not – Matthew 13:17. Those who go by the broadway, the way of the world, that leads to destruction, are the believers in Christ, and they are very many. But those who go by the narrow way, the way of truth, that leads unto eternal life, are the Christians, but they are very few – Matthew 7:13-14. The righteous nation who keep the truth are the Christians, who will be allowed to enter through the gates into heaven as written in Isaiah 26:2, and I quote “Open ye the gates, that the righteous nation which keepeth the truth may enter in.” But believers in Christ, who are adulterers/adulteresses cannot be said to be Christians, because they are in friendship with the world and they are the enemies of God – James 4:4. Therefore, Christians are those who practice organization, and it is very essential for leaders to consider the relevance of this in the lives of their followers. The leader, on the other hand, must possess certain charisma and character that will influence followers to run with him. In the next serial, we will consider the leader himself in this perspective of driving followers towards pure religion by keeping themselves unspotted from the world of ungodly festivities and ceremonies - James 1:27. As written in John 1:17, the grace that brought salvation came with the truth. This truth teaches Christians, who have the Spirit of Christ to deny all ungodliness and worldly lusts, and to live soberly, godly, and righteously in this present world – Titus 2:12. Christian Gospel Church (The Truth Centre), 4 Christian Gospel Avenue, Beside Psychiatric Hospital, Uselu, Benin City, Edo State Email:cgc.com.ng@gmail.com Telephone: +234(0) 7 0 5 2 0 6 1 1 3 5 , +234(0)9030731406 W e b s i t e : www.thetruthcentre.com success. •J.K. Akinola. (Senior Pastor), The Gospel Faith Mission International (GOFAMINT), Ibadan, Nigeria. E m a i l : flprofenassociate@gmail.com, kolajoshua2003@yahoo.com Pastor (Dr). E.O. Abina – General Overseer. Kumuyi identifies forgiveness as panacea for peace, unity By Sam Eyoboka PASTOR William Kumuyi, the General Superintendent of Deeper Christian Life Ministry, has identified forgiveness as panacea for peace and unity in the church and society. The man of God said even though there are offences that can leave a deep cut in people’s hearts, there is always need for anybody who feels offended by actions of another person, to take the initiative for reconciliation and forgiveness. Pastor Kumuyi who preached during Monday Bible study on the topic, “Forgiveness in the fellowship of the father’s family”, emphasized that people should go beyond seeking for forgiveness from human to seeking forgiveness from God as that is the surest path to heaven. The Deeper Life founder who drew his reading from Matthew 18:15-17, urged Christians to stay within the confine of their fellowship to settle any case they have with fellow Christians. He added that if such a believer neglects all entreaties initiated for reconciliation, such a person should be regarded as a publican that should be preached to, prayed for and even be assisted. “You don't need to carry any grudge in your heart. As a believer, we must come to a place of maturity where were should forgive without bearing grudges against any offender. “Personal forgiveness cannot take one to heaven until such a person is born again.” The man of God revealed that even though Moses forgave the children of Israel for their idol worship, they needed the forgiveness of God to make it to the promised land, reason he said God allowed only Joshua and Caleb into the promised land. “As evil and terrorising Saul was, David forgave him even when he had opportunity to kill him. The forgiveness David gave was not sufficient to take Saul to heaven. He needed forgiveness from God. “The forgiveness we give as human is not enough to take backsliders to heaven. Anybody who is not free from sin cannot set another person free. If you bind yourself with the chord of animosity you cannot pray for anything to happen. Lose that chord of hatred first then you will have the freedom and anything you say God will confirm it in heaven.” Pastor Kumuyi noted that reason Christians bind on earth but those things the bind are not bound in heaven is because of sin that is binding such Christians . “When there is holiness, not even Satan can stop whatever we bind on earth to be bound in heaven. When you stand as a real child of God and iniquities far from you, whatever you agree and disagree on earth will be done same in heaven. “God wants us to clear off all sins and when we unite in holiness anything we do shall be forgiven.” the man of God said.
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