Focus on the Family Magazine - December 2022/January 2023

Helping Families Thrive in Christ
DEC 2022 / JAN 2023
A LIFETIME OF AWE
Choose to be WOWed by
your spouse every day
YOUR
CHRISTMAS
LEGACY
Deck the
House with
Dazzling Lights
page 39

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DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023
Contents
Couples
Faith & Inspiration
Kids & Teens
STOCKSY / MICHELA RAVASIO
13 OUR VISION BOARDS
A marriage insight from Tiffany
Pastor as told to Sarah Brickens
14 A LIFETIME OF AWE
Choose to be WOWed
by your spouse every day
by Jenni Graebe
19 NOTHING TO HIDE
Being completely honest
with your spouse isn’t as
scary as you may think
by Ashley Willis with Dave Willis
22 SPECIAL FAMILIES AND
STRONG MARRIAGES
How to strengthen your
relationship when caring
for a child with special needs
by Kristin and Todd Evans
25 FACING THE MOUNTAINS
IN OUR LIVES
A spiritual insight from <strong>Focus</strong>
on the Family leadership
by Ken Windebank
26 THE MYSTERY OF THE MAGI
How their presence points to Jesus
as the promised light for the nations
by Subby Szterszky
30 HOW ALEXA TELLS HER STORY
Her accident changed everything,
but instead of giving in to grief,
she gives others hope
by Thomas Jeffries
35 A SING-ALONG CELEBRATION
A parenting insight from Rebekah
Cherry as told to Faith Wismer
36 YOUR CHRISTMAS LEGACY
Encouraging my kids to honor
Jesus during the holiday season
by Linsey Driskill
39 DECK THE HOUSE WITH
DAZZLING LIGHTS
What started as a Christmas tradition
became an act of thoughtfulness
by Dave Meurer
41 ‘GOD SURE DOES TAKE CARE OF US’
This Christmas season, discover
your family’s story of God’s
faithfulness during hard times
by Farrah Adkins
In Every
Issue
4 LETTER FROM THE PRESIDENT
5 HACKS & FACTS
45 PLUGGED IN MEDIA
46 MY THRIVING FAMILY
CREDIT TK

LETTER FROM THE PRESIDENT
Jean-Paul Beran is
president of <strong>Focus</strong> on
the Family Canada.
ONE THING THAT’S BECOME
CLEAR these last few years is the constancy
of Christ. While our world goes through
changes and our families experience ups and
downs, our Savior Jesus Christ is the same
yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8).
Christmas celebrations are much the same.
We may all be entering into this season in different
circumstances, but the reason for our joy is unchanging.
If your life is feeling tumultuous or you’re feeling unsteady, I
pray you will remember the solid footing we can find in God.
For those who are walking through difficult times and may
need profound reminders of God’s faithfulness, I encourage you
to turn to page 25 to read the article “Facing the Mountains in
Our Lives” by Ken Windebank or turn to page 26 for the article
“The Mystery of the Magi” to learn about God’s gift to every person
in the midst of a dark time in history.
For families who are excited about the Christmas season but
are concerned about how to focus on what’s important, there
are many tips in the following pages as well as encouraging articles
to help you honor Jesus during the holiday season (page 36),
be a bright light for your neighbors (page 39) and cherish your
spouse in a new way (page 14).
And as a reminder, we at <strong>Focus</strong> on the Family Canada are here
for your and your family this Christmas season. If you need any
support to help your family thrive, we’re just a click, email or
phone call away. I invite you to explore the full breadth of services
we offer on our website at <strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca, email us
at info@fotf.ca with your questions or concerns, or call our team
at 1.800.661.9800 to learn more about how we can help.
Blessings,
Jean-Paul Beran
Our
unchanging
God
CLINT BARGEN PHOTOGRAPHY
president Jim Daly
chief operating officer Ken Windebank
chief marketing and
content officer Tim Sawer
focus canada president Jean-Paul Beran
editorial director Sheila Seifert
managing editor Andrea Gutierrez
copy chief Scott DeNicola
associate editors Sarah Brickens,
Faith Wismer
contributing editors Karen Bouchard,
Vance Fry, Marianne Hering, Thomas
Jeffries, Jennifer Lonas, Jeff Masching,
Rebecca Nordquist
art director Anneka Jack
designer Sally Dunn
cover Erin Drago
media publishing director Kevin Shirin
editorial
thank assistant you!
Kat Bittner
print production Gail Wise
circulation Erika Lynch
Thank you!
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<strong>Focus</strong> on the Family magazine December 2022/January
2023, Vol. 7, No. 6 ISSN 2471-5921, © 2022 <strong>Focus</strong> on the
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CREDIT TK
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FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023

Hacks & Facts
CLEVER IDEAS FOR SMARTER PARENTING
giving manger
To help our family remember the
true spirit of Christmas, my husband
and I built a simple wooden manger
and placed it in the center of our
dining table. Each time a family
member carried out a kind deed or
nice gesture, the giver placed a piece
of straw in the manger. We worked
together all Christmas season to fill
the manger and create a soft bed for
baby Jesus.
My children took opportunities
to put their siblings’ shoes away,
empty the dishwasher, leave thankyou
notes on teachers’ desks and
donate hard-earned chore money to
worthy causes. Each piece of straw
represented a moment when they
saw a way to show love and gave a
little of themselves.
—Allison Hottinger
FOTF / CREDIT SALLY DUNN
TK
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 5

HACKS & FACTS / CHRISTMAS
the
toddler
tree
Our 3-year-old loves to participate
in anything my husband and I are
doing. So when we were putting up
our Christmas tree, we redirected her
curiosity by giving our toddler her
own tree to decorate. She found it to
be a lot more interesting (and fun!)
than our family tree. Together, we
cut out paper ornaments and painted
wooden trinkets. I also offered her
unbreakable ornaments from our
stash. By the end of the season there
was no more space to fit anything
on it—and the result was something
purely magnificent.
—Whitney Hormaechea
anchoring our memories
hands-on space
When my husband and I decorate for Christmas, we anchor our tree
using durable string wrapped around the tree and fixed to eyelets we
attached to the baseboard. This prevents the tree from tipping so we
don’t feel the need to overreact to the occasional curious toddler.
I hang fragile ornaments up high, but I let the kids pick unbreakable
decorations to hang low on the branches. As we decorate the
tree, we talk about why each ornament is meaningful—whether it
was a gift from a loved one, represents something in our lives or is
just beautiful.
—Jaimie Zaki
To keep little ones safe and the
Christmas tree undisturbed, we created
a hands-on space under the tree.
We placed unbreakable ornaments
and Nativity figures on the tree skirt
in one area for our children to play
with. They loved playing with their
Christmas things and left the other
tree decorations alone.
—Georgia “Jeanie” Jacobson
SHOPPLAYWOOD / STOCK.ADOBE.COM
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FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023

CHRISTMAS / HACKS & FACTS
ornament
appreciation
To curb the temptation of touching
delicate Christmas tree ornaments,
I let my children take time to admire
them before they go on the tree.
With my toddler on my lap and her
siblings around us, I take an ornament
out of the storage bin and
help her little hands to hold it.
When she’s ready to see the next
one, I pass it to her brothers for
a turn. We talk about how the
glitter rubs off on our fingers and
how the glass feels smooth and
delicate. When we finish, I mention
how sad we’d be if one broke
and how easily a broken ornament
can cut skin. I then explain that if
they ever want to hold one, I’ll get
it down for them. I find that they
rarely want to have a second look,
which is helping our ornaments
survive the toddler years.
—Jennifer Henn
holiday hellos
I put up the tree and decorated it while my 20-month-old was with her
grandparents. When she returned, I led her to the Christmas tree and let
her see how pretty it was. As she reached for an ornament, I took her
hand, held it and said, “We don’t touch it; we only say hello.”
She waved and said hello. Throughout the season, she would often
go to the tree, look at it and greet the ornaments: “Hello, snowflake.
Hello, ball. Hello, butterfly.” Occasionally I had to remind her not to
touch, but we made it through the season without her grabbing, breaking
or knocking off any ornaments.
—Katherine Brown
Visit <strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca/AIOChristmas to
download a free Adventures in Odyssey PDF activity
booklet filled with games, challenges and more!
CREDIT PHOTOS TK
BY ERIN DRAGO
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 7

HACKS & FACTS / GIVING GIFTS
tie blanket
My boys wanted to make a “tie blanket” for our home-school director. I
bought two yards of complementary fleece fabrics (one solid, one print).
The boys stacked the fabric pieces on top of each other (wrong-sides
together) and cut a 5-inch square off of each corner. Then they cut fringe
along all sides roughly 5 inches long and 1 inch wide.
Next, they tied the fringe pieces together forming a knot to hold the two
pieces of fabric together. I’ll be honest, some edges were jagged and didn’t
line up evenly, but once tied together, the blanket took on a more finished
look. The boys waited in anticipation for their mentor to open the gift. She
was absolutely delighted and complimented all their hard work. Later that
day, she sent a picture of her new blanket displayed on a chair. Sure, the
blanket was not perfect, but it was the perfect gift for a special lady.
—Monica Faith Vernot
the quiet gift
custom coasters
One year, I requested no physical
presents for myself, but only the gift
of zero arguments from my children
for the day. The kids eagerly took
on the task, even reminding one
another when a sibling’s sharp word
slipped out. The quiet day provided a
much-needed respite for me, and it
really helped us all recharge. It was
better than anything money could
buy. Now my kids know that if they
pick up their school papers, pull
weeds or be an all-around helper for
the day, it’s a truly precious gift.
—Kristi Woods
I helped my 6-year-old daughter
make beverage coasters as gifts.
We bought undecorated ceramic
coasters for about $1 a piece at our
craft store. We then thoughtfully
selected scrapbook papers for each
recipient’s coaster design, based on
his or her likes. A lighthouse design
for Grandpa; something in green for
Grandma. Then we painted outdoor
decoupage paste on each side of
the paper to glue and seal it to the
coaster. Once dried, the coasters
were ready to wrap and gift.
—Lauren Simmons
ERIN DRAGO
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FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023

GIVING GIFTS / HACKS & FACTS
meals in a jar
My kids love selecting “meal in a jar” recipes for soups
or baked goods that they think family members will
enjoy. To be a good option for this gift, the recipe
must include a variety of dry ingredients that my kids
can shop for and measure into jars. We layer the dry
ingredients for cookies or soups or breads and attach
a tag to the jar listing the needed perishable ingredients,
along with the recipe for baking.
We’ve also layered pasta and dehydrated veggies in
one jar and topped it with a small plastic bag containing
bouillon and the required spices. The tied-on tag
included ideas for variations, such as adding sausage
or other fresh ingredients. My brother-in-law’s family
enjoyed their soup so much last year they asked for
the recipe to re-create it!
—Rebecca Curry
NEW
Send your children on an adventure
with Patrick and Beth in “The
Imagination Station” book No. 29,
Sled Run for Survival. The cousins
race to bring diphtheria antitoxin to
the ill children in Nome, Alaska, 1925.
Shop.<strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca
little jars of light
We save small glass jars from baby food, jam, etc., and decorate the jars by
painting on watered-down school glue and adhering little bits of colored
tissue paper from our gift-wrapping stash. The effect looks like stained
glass, and we customize the designs according to holiday: Christmas red
and green, Easter pastels, etc. Once dry, we place small candles inside (or
opt for battery-operated LED votives to eliminate fire risk).
We’ve made so many candle holders as gifts that I now soak off labels
and rinse jars as soon as they’re empty so we have ones ready to decorate
when needed.
—Sara Beth Meyer
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 9

HACKS & FACTS / NEW YEAR’S
New Year’s Eve
sleepover
We hosted my sister-in-law’s family
in our home for a New Year’s
sleepover party. In the evening, the
little ones enjoyed playing together
and watching an age-appropriate
movie before settling down for
sleep. The older kids and adults
watched a movie, played board
games and video games, and then
counted down the minutes and seconds
until we could wish each other
Happy New Year.
Even though our families now
live too far apart to have another
sleepover party, we continue the
tradition by playing online games
together until the new year arrives.
—Katrina Williamson
Last year,
24%
of families planned to
spend New Year’s at home.
source: WalletHub, 2021
all things new
Ephesians 4:20-24 inspires our family’s New Year’s resolutions. The
passage says “to put off your old self” and “put on the new self, created
after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.”
How do we apply these verses? First, we discern some of the habits
in our lives (part of our “old self”) that we want to put off. We each
write them down and then, whether at our fireplace or around the
fire pit in the backyard, we burn those notes. We don’t tell each
other what we’ve written because that’s between each individual
and God. Then to put on our new selves, we pray about the way
that Jesus is making all things new this year—including us!
—Elizabeth James
fine dining for kids
New Year’s Eve is our favorite time for a fancy dinner. The meal is
served around the dining room table, complete with candles and fancy
glasses. The children help by making a centerpiece and collecting party
decorations from around the house. After dinner, the children enjoy
counting down from 10 before shouting, “Happy New Year!” (Our kids
are young, so more often than not, they are in bed by 10 p.m.)
—Kim Shouse
CREDIT TK
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FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023

NEW YEAR’S / HACKS & FACTS
balloon drop
a Spiritfilled
year
Every New Year’s Eve, our family reads about
the fruit of the Spirit mentioned in Galatians
5:22-23. Recently, we started choosing
qualities to focus on as a family—and then
brainstorming ways to demonstrate them in
our community. For example, taking cookies
to local police and fire stations, making
cards for lonely people in nursing homes
and shoveling snow for elderly neighbors
have been great ways to demonstrate the
fruit of kindness and spend time as a family
together.
—Diane Stark
Before our New Year’s Eve celebration,
I create a poster with every hour
marked from the party’s beginning
through midnight. We tape a balloon
on each hour and pop the balloons as
the hours pass. I like to put fun sayings
on the poster like “Let’s get this party
started!” or “We’re getting closer!” We
also tape a butcher-paper hammock to
the ceiling and fill it with balloons.
We plan a scavenger hunt and play
other games for the rest of the evening.
Anticipation for the balloon drop builds
throughout the event, so we’re super
eager by midnight to release the hammock
and let the balloons fall as we
welcome in the new year.
—Amberly Clowe
CREDIT FOTF / ANNEKA TK
JACK
food, family
and fun
We started New Year’s Eve by having each person
choose a favorite game to play. Our final list included
six games, and we selected which game to play next by
using a homemade spinner.
We offered a mini buffet of snacks for munching
throughout the event. Between each game, we turned
on some music for quick dance breaks until midnight
arrived. We shared so many laughs, good food and silly
moments that we’re already planning what we want to
add to this tradition next year.
—Andrea Rodenburgh
diy
party wear
We start our New Year’s festivities
by raiding our recycling bin
to make hats and simple musical
instruments to ring in the new year.
During the evening, we also make
it a point to take turns sharing what
we appreciate and value about one
another.
—Tammy Layman Hall
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 11

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a ministry of

Couples
our vision
boards
A marriage insight
from Tiffany Pastor as
told to Sarah Brickens
FOTF / SALLY DUNN
After Christmas, my husband, Luke, and
I take a week off from work to spend time
together as a couple. During this break,
we also seek the Lord about His direction
for our marriage as we approach the new
year. Then on New Year’s Eve, Luke and
I will watch a live church service, praise
the Lord together and create two separate
vision boards. We write Scriptures,
declarations, dreams and goals in our
roles as husband, wife and parents.
One of the things I struggle with and
write as a reminder to myself is, “I will be
present right where God has called me to
be, and I will not miss something because
I was putting attention somewhere else.”
Luke also jots notes about what he wants
to strive for, and we support each other in
reaching our goals.
Once the kids are asleep, Luke and I
stay up past midnight and continue our
discussion about what we’ve written.
Once we’ve prayed together about each
entry, Luke puts his vision board in his
closet within sight to look at every day.
And I store mine away but bring it out
daily during my quiet time with Jesus to
meditate and pray on my entries. Luke
and I have found it to be valuable in
our marriage to reflect on our goals and
prayers, and we look forward to this time
together each year. •
Tiffany and Luke Pastor have been married for 18
years and have three children. Luke is a worship
leader, and Tiffany is a children’s pastor.
Tiffany and Luke Pastor
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 13

COUPLES / ADMIRATION
CREDIT TK
14
FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023

ADMIRATION / COUPLES
A Lifetime
of Awe
Choose to be WOWed by
your spouse every day
BY JENNI GRAEBE
PHOTO ILLUSTRATIONS BY PATRICK BOYER
CREDIT TK
SOMETHING SACRED
HAPPENS EVERY YEAR
when my husband, Chris, and I get
away, just the two of us. Don’t get me
wrong, we love family trips with all
five of our children in tow, but as any
parent knows, a vacation with kids
doesn’t technically count as a vacation.
So we’ve made it an annual goal
to enjoy each other free of interruptions
and find fresh vision for the year
ahead. We always come back relaxed
and recharged.
One of our favorite midyear getaways
is Lake Tahoe, California.
Surrounded by the majestic mountains
and the breathtaking redwoods,
the warmth of the sun, the sweet
sound of rushing water—somehow
it all mixes together to become holy
ground for us. We love to float down a
nearby river’s slow and steady current
as it takes us through the most breathtaking
views imaginable. Every time
we catch our first glimpse of the scenery,
we can’t help but be flooded with
a deep sense of awe. Inevitably, we
look at each other and say, “Yep. This
is it. Right here. It just doesn’t get any
better than this.”
No effort is required to practice awe
and wonder in these special moments.
But what about the rest of our days? Is
it possible to practice a deep sense of
awe in the ordinary moments of our
lives? Whether you’re deeply in awe of
the gift of your spouse, or just in awe
that you even survived another day
together, this practice of awe is available
to all of us. >>>
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 15

COUPLES / ADMIRATION
Awe is a choice
Many of us tend to associate awe with
the grandest moments in our lives: The
moment we catch our spouse’s eye as
he waits at the altar on our wedding
day; seeing our newborn for the first
time; catching sight of a glowing sunset
or being in the presence of something
that takes our breath away.
But what we may not realize is that
every morning we wake up, we have a
choice. We can offer thanks for another
day or merely survive it. We can look at
our spouse as a fixed part of our ordinary
life or as a remarkable person
given to us by God to be discovered
and enjoyed. We can lean fully into
the remarkable gift of getting to love
another person for a lifetime or believe
the lie that we’re just stuck with each
other. The choice belongs to us.
I don’t know about you, but there
are definitely days when I don’t automatically
respond with grand feelings
of awe toward my spouse. I’m working
on it. But what I’ve learned is that in
those moments, praying for what I lack
is always the best place to start. When
I pray to see my spouse with eyes of
awe and wonder, to see the beauty
wrapped in the mundane moments of
this life we’ve been given together, it
transforms my attitude.
Awe is a perspective
When I practice a regular rhythm of
awe, it gives me a different lens with
which to view the world, to view my
spouse and to view the life we’re building
together.
Recently, I happened to look up
from washing the dishes. Out the
window, I caught a glimpse of Chris
attempting flips on the trampoline
with our 7-year-old. The joy emanating
from their faces reminded me of what
an incredible dad Chris is. Instead of
brushing it off, I let the gratitude of the
moment wash over me.
The truth is, opportunities to practice
awe are hidden all around us every
day. It could be your spouse shuffling
down the stairs in search of that first
sip of coffee, saying yes to a slow dance
in the kitchen or sipping a glass of tea
on the deck as the sun sets.
Practicing the rhythm of awe means
keeping our eyes open to the beauty
and wonder hidden throughout our
days. We need to train our eyes to see
each day as a gift, but we don’t get to
enjoy it if we’re too busy to slow down
and unwrap it.
Awe is cultivated in quiet
There’s simply no way to nurture a
spirit of awe and wonder in our lives
if we’re rushing through them. Think
back on your week. Are there specific
moments where you found yourself
in a hurry? What would it look like
to intentionally slow down in those
16
FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023

ADMIRATION / COUPLES
moments? When Chris and I did what
we like to call a hurry inventory, we
found that, like a lot of families, we are
most rushed in the mornings: racing
to get kids dressed, finding lost shoes,
packing lunches and finally speeding
out the door. In an effort to slow our
mornings, we began doing a little prep
work the night before: laying out the
next day’s outfits, packing backpacks
and assembling lunches.
It’s incredible what a little intentionality
can do to transform the morning
from sheer chaos to being enjoyable.
When I intentionally work to slow
down and be present in the moment
with those I love, my eyes automatically
open to the opportunities for awe
hidden around me.
Awe grows
through gratitude
What Chris and I have discovered
after nearly 20 years of marriage is
that practicing a regular rhythm of
awe is not only possible, it’s actually
the secret sauce to a truly thriving
marriage. And sitting at the feet of
many older, wiser couples shows us
how these rhythms play out long term.
These remarkable couples maintain
a profound humility, a deep sense
of gratitude and a growing curiosity
toward each other. They’ve stayed in
awe. The opportunity to love someone
for a lifetime is a beautiful blessing.
The truth is, awe is always available
to us because God is with us. When
I humbly surrender my shortcomings
to God, pray for eyes to see the mundane
moments as unique and offer up
a prayer of gratitude for my husband,
I am awakened to the reality that
there are a finite number of mornings
I’ve been given to wake up next
to Chris. Like a flower that blooms
and withers—we are here for just a
moment. What a gift. >>>
THE RHYTHM OF US
Chris and Jenni Graebe are the authors
of The Rhythm of Us: Create the thriving
marriage you long for.
Shop.<strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 17

COUPLES / ADMIRATION
Awe is worthy
of celebration
Loving my spouse well means pausing
regularly to notice and celebrate
the best parts of who he’s becoming.
Cherishing those hidden attributes
can free him from the box I may have
put him in. Maintaining a sense of
awe and wonder toward our spouse
empowers him or her to grow and to
try new things that might fit better in
this new season.
For instance, when Chris and I
first met as young 20-somethings,
I was singing in a Christian pop band,
wearing pleather pants and occasionally
rapping. (I know, it was the early
2000s!) Chris was climbing icebergs
and bungee jumping off cliffs as a cast
member on several reality TV shows.
Over the years, we’ve given each other
permission to try on all kinds of new
things and discover more about who
God’s created us to be. It’s one of the
greatest gifts of marriage: to have a
front row seat to the wild adventure of
our spouse’s life! Cheering each other
on in every season; fiercely committing
to love and to support each other along
the way.
That rhythm of celebrating, both the
big and the little things in each other
and in our shared life together, creates
a culture where we feel free to become
our best. Where our gifts are celebrated
and cherished, we can grow together
into the life we long for. May you slow
down long enough to relish even the
ordinary moments where you can’t
help but turn to your spouse and say,
“Yep. This is it. Right here. It just doesn’t
get any better than this.” •
Jenni Graebe and her husband, Chris, are book
co-authors and co-hosts of the “Rhythm of
Us” podcast, where they interview couples to
discover what makes relationships thrive. They
live deep in the trees of Franklin, Tennessee,
with their five children.
LISTEN NOW!
Hear Chris and Jenni Graebe
talk about creating sustainable
rhythms in marriage.
<strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca/Radio
18
FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023

COMMUNICATION / COUPLES
Being completely honest with your
spouse isn’t as scary as you may think
BY ASHLEY WILLIS WITH DAVE WILLIS
ILLUSTRATIONS BY SASKIA BUENO
CREDIT TK
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 19

COUPLES / COMMUNICATION
HE SOUND OF SCRAPING METAL
GRABBED MICHAEL’S ATTENTION,
AND HE SLAMMED ON HIS BRAKES.
He had brushed against the retaining
wall next to their driveway.
Uh-oh, he thought. Sarah is going to
be angry.
He got out of the car and examined
the front fender. There’s so little damage,
it really isn’t worth mentioning to her,
he reasoned.
He wasn’t going to lie about what
he’d done; he just wasn’t going to be
forthcoming with her. When the truth
eventually came out, he and Sarah had
to deal not only with the fender damage
but also with the broken trust in
their relationship.
In marriage, we can be tempted
to hide things from our spouse, fearing
how they’ll react or what they’ll
think. Or we may shrug off an issue we
need to discuss, hoping to avoid conflict,
or worse, judgment and criticism.
We pretend everything is fine when it
actually isn’t.
Dave and I use a handy acronym to
describe what we’re really doing when
we say, “Everything is fine.” FINE means
faking, ignoring, neglecting and evading
the truth.
Not being totally honest with your
spouse may seem like the easiest or safest
way to avoid conflict, criticism or an
uncomfortable conversation. That may
be true in the short term, but in the long
run, it will prevent you from experiencing
the oneness God desires for your
marriage. You can’t sidestep transparency
if you want a fulfilling and deeply
satisfying marriage. Here are some tips
for cultivating transparency in your
relationship:
COMMIT TO HONESTY
“Is anything wrong?” Dave asked me one
day when he noticed my moodiness.
I shook my head and gave the
same answer I’d given every other
time I’d been frustrated with him:
“Everything’s fine.”
But everything wasn’t fine. And
to make matters worse, he always
took me at my word. What I failed
to understand was that my lack of
forthrightness was making us both
unhappy in our marriage.
This exhausting cycle continued until
one day I was trying to hang a curtain
rod, and it wasn’t cooperating. Dave
noticed that I was frustrated. When he
asked if something was wrong, I told
him that everything was fine.
He took me at my word as usual and
went for a jog. When he returned, I was
so upset that I yelled at him for not figuring
out what I needed from him.
That’s when it hit me: I hadn’t been
honest. I eventually mustered the courage
to share what was really on my heart,
and that’s when our marriage started to
change for the better.
When you commit to being completely
transparent with your spouse,
you’re essentially saying, “I have nothing
to hide from you.”
Being totally vulnerable with each
other can be scary at first, but the more
you do it, the easier it becomes. And it
can transform your marriage into the
safest, sweetest and most intimate relationship
you’ve ever known.
SPEAK WORDS
GRACIOUSLY
“Eew, you stink!”
“Don’t wear that! It’s embarrassing.”
“You don’t need that extra slice of
pizza, do you?”
Some couples have mastered the art
of honesty, but they have no concept
of tenderness. Nagging, criticism and
sarcasm are offered freely without a second
thought about how they might be
received. In a couple’s dogged pursuit of
honesty, they might use words that tear
each other down rather than build each
other up.
EPHESIANS 4:15
20
FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023

COMMUNICATION / COUPLES
Words can draw us closer to each
other, or they can drive us further
apart. Dave and I have learned to
consider our words and use them
to communicate our love and commitment
instead of using them as
weapons. We try to eliminate criticism,
sarcasm, threats (like divorce), profanity
and little white lies (like “I’m fine”)
from our vocabulary.
We’ve also found that sometimes
the wisest thing to say is nothing at
all. Not every thought that enters our
heads needs to be shared. Nothing
good can come from expressing
thoughts such as Wow! Your best
friend is gorgeous or You were more
attractive before you started going bald.
Certainly, we should err on the side of
sharing what’s on our hearts, but when
our thoughts are critical or hurtful,
we should remain silent and process
them before speaking.
Ephesians 4:15 admonishes us
to speak “the truth in love.” In other
words, we should always be honest
and loving. A few verses later, Paul
explains what speaking the truth in
love looks like in practical terms: “Be
kind to one another, tenderhearted,
forgiving one another, as God in Christ
forgave you” (verse 32). Being both
honest and loving can be a difficult
tightrope to walk, but we can choose
to live in the tension it presents.
TRUTH AND GRACE
One day while we were out shopping
together, I placed a nose-hair trimmer
in our cart. Then I put my arm around
Dave and softly whispered, “Trust me.
It’s time for this.”
He looked surprised to see the trimmer
and laughed, probably thinking it
was a joke. Then he discreetly reached
up to feel his upper lip. He looked
amazed as he discovered that he had
the beginnings of a mustache emerging
from his nostrils.
A loving spouse will tell us the truth
wrapped in tenderness and grace,
even when it may be difficult to hear.
Tenderhearted transparency is an
often-overlooked secret to lifelong
love that requires the courage to confess
our sins and shortcomings to each
EPHESIANS 4:32
other without judgment, and the grace
to offer and receive forgiveness. It also
means refusing to keep score of one
another’s faults.
As you practice tenderhearted
transparency in your marriage—being
honest and vulnerable with each
other, speaking the truth in love and
giving one another grace, forgiveness
and encouragement—you’ll be
amazed at the difference it will make
in your relationship. •
Dave and Ashley Willis are bestselling authors
and the hosts of “The Naked Marriage”
podcast. They serve at XO Marriage, a ministry
dedicated to building stronger Christ-centered
marriages.
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 21

COUPLES / MEETING CHALLENGES TOGETHER
special families and
strong marriages
Kristin and Todd Evans
with their children, Josiah
and Bethany Grace
22
FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023

MEETING CHALLENGES TOGETHER / COUPLES
How to strengthen your relationship when
caring for a child with special needs
BY KRISTIN AND TODD EVANS | PHOTOS BY SARAH SIDWELL
PARENTING A CHILD with
physical, developmental or mentalhealth
disabilities can be one of the
most rewarding experiences of your
life. But it also can create intense
strain in your marriage and test your
faith. We know because our marriage
barely survived after our daughter was
released from the neonatal intensive
care unit, and we lived for several years
in crisis mode as we began to manage
her genetic disorder and care for her
at home.
During this difficult time, we discovered
some essential marriage principles
that deepened our love for each other
and strengthened our marriage. Our
relationship became more resilient as
we cared for our daughter. Here are a
few ways we grew closer during this
trying time in our marriage.
Take advantage
of short respites
One of the most important habits we
found to deepen our bond is spending
regular time together. Still, leaving the
house for a date night can feel impossible
amid complicated circumstances.
And retreating to the bedroom won’t
shut out the noise and stress of caring
for a child with special needs. We’ve
found that if you want to carve out regular
time together, you’ll have to think
outside the box.
So instead of an evening out, we’d
take a walk together or enjoy a picnic
in the park. A friend or family member
might care for our child for an hour
or two. And we enjoyed taking short
breaks as a couple that could offer
reduced stress, a rejuvenated relationship
and something to look forward to.
Finding outside support is also crucial.
When someone told us about
a three-hour respite program once
a month at a local church, we were
ecstatic. We looked forward to that
break all month long.
Start with short respites: Plan
a one- or two-hour break together
that will get you out of the house
this month. Answer these questions:
“When will we go?” “Who will care for
our child?” “What will we do?”
Share a lighthearted
outlook
This might sound odd or trivial, since
the day-to-day responsibilities of
parenting a child with special needs
are anything but lighthearted. It’s
difficult not to take life seriously when
your child’s development or health is
on the line. But humor can help couples
cope better while in the midst of
caregiving stress. A lighthearted and
cheerful outlook can also improve your
mental health and help you feel closer
to each other. We rejoice that a joyful
heart is good medicine (Proverbs
17:22). In fact, laughter triggers chemical
reactions that make us feel good
and lower stress hormones.
Our daughter, Bethany Grace, has
taught us to welcome each day with
Start with short
respites: Plan a oneor
two-hour break
together that will get
you out of the house
this month.
a joyous and lighthearted attitude
no matter what’s happening. She
proudly yells “woo-hoo” when she’s
excited, and we’ve adopted her joyful
spirit. Sometimes we’ll break out in a
“woo-hoo” when just the two of us are
together. This uplifting outlook is freeing
and refreshing. Since we started
celebrating and laughing more, we’re
much happier as a couple.
Start being lighthearted: Find
ways to add humor to your relationship.
Share a joke, watch a funny movie
together or celebrate small victories.
Support and
validate each other
Validating each other’s emotions is
essential in any marriage. We look to
Proverbs 12:25 where it says that anxiety
weighs us down but a good word
makes us glad. Couples caring for
children with special needs often experience
painful, overwhelming and
even traumatic events on a daily basis.
Supporting and validating each other
amid these challenges is critical. >>>
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 23

COUPLES / MEETING CHALLENGES TOGETHER
As we struggled to manage the pressure
cooker of caring for our daughter
and balancing daily life, we found our
own ways to cope and survive. When
we needed each other most, there were
times we couldn’t figure out how to
connect or support each other. As the
distance between us grew, we each felt
the other person couldn’t understand
what we were going through. Here’s
how we each processed the challenging
nature of our parenting:
Todd: I went into a practical survival
mode, focusing on work and the
overwhelming day-to-day financial
and household tasks. I disconnected
emotionally because there was no
time to feel or talk about feelings
when there was so much to do.
Kristin: I began to drown in my
trauma and grief, as well as the stress
of trying to keep my daughter alive. I
felt like Todd didn’t care about my
emotions or what I was going through,
and I pulled away from him.
Offer uplifting words
Now, after years of counseling and
fighting for our marriage, we finally
learned how to validate each other’s
painful experiences, thoughts and
emotions. We began to reconnect
and feel loved again. Simple affirmations
such as “That sounds really hard”
after a difficult doctor’s appointment
or a taxing day helped each of us feel
heard, understood and supported.
We also found that extending
thoughtful phrases like these strengthened
our marriage:
“It makes sense that you’re feeling
this way.”
“I’m sorry you’re going through this.”
“How can I help you?”
“How can I pray for you?”
“I know you’re doing your best.
Thank you.”
Though you may not understand how
your spouse feels, it’s important to communicate
that you want to understand
and that you believe what your spouse
is sharing.
Start supporting each other
emotionally: Post your own thoughtful
phrases where you can see and
read them each day. Then, as challenging
situations arise, use them
while you and your spouse are talking.
Over time, as you steal away for an
hour or two together, share a joke and
validate each other on challenging
Todd and Kristin
days, God will weave together your
individual efforts to strengthen your
marriage. •
Married for 20 years, Kristin and Todd Evans
have two children with rare genetic disorders.
Todd has taught as an adjunct professor at
Wheaton College and served as director
of educational ministries at the Evangelical
Training Association. Kristin is a licensed
social worker experienced in Christian
counseling, couples and family therapy, and
crisis counseling.
24
FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023

Faith & Inspiration
facing the
mountains
in our lives
A spiritual insight
from <strong>Focus</strong> on the
Family leadership
BY KEN WINDEBANK
MARK 11:22-24 HAS
TROUBLED ME AT TIMES.
We’ve all experienced mountains in
our lives. If you’re like me, my first
thought is, God please remove this
mountain . . . now!
There are occasions He does. For
those times, I praise Him. Often,
though, God chooses to remove the
mountains by walking beside us, step
by step, to speak to us, to grow us and
make us more like Him.
Last year, I went in for surgery to
remove and restore a shoulder replacement.
However, my surgeon found
a serious infection in the joint. The
prescription? Eight weeks of daily IV
antibiotics. Then, and only then, could
replacement surgery be rescheduled.
This was not my plan. I had things to
do—until my doctor explained how he
may not have discovered the lingering
infection if my prior shoulder replacement
hadn’t failed. My perspective
instantly changed. I thanked God for
making me aware of it.
Three passages captured how God
wanted me to respond to this challenge.
In Luke 6:12, Jesus “went out to
the mountain to pray.” Likewise, God
invited me to pray on the side of my
unmoved mountain about healing the
undiscovered infection. He wants us
all to be in conversation with Him in
everything we do. Mark 3:13 reveals
how Jesus “called to him those whom
he desired.” This guided me to invite
family and friends to my mountain so
they could walk alongside and encourage
me. Having good people around is
vital during challenging times. Finally,
Luke 9:28-36 conveyed how to anticipate
what God was doing in my life,
knowing He would reveal himself in
His time.
As I look back on that unwelcome
and unmoved mountain, I live in the
hope of God’s faithfulness through His
revelation of himself through prayer, by
friends and in Scripture. Today, your
mountain may seem insurmountable,
lifelong or even catastrophic. Though
we each have our own trials, the principles
in Scripture remain the same.
No believer faces these hardships
without Jesus. He sees. He cares. He
walks beside us, every step of the way. •
Ken Windebank is the chief operating officer
at <strong>Focus</strong> on the Family. He and his wife, Tina,
have been married for 34 years. They have
five grown children, two daughters-in-law
and two grandchildren.
STOCKSY / BLUE COLLECTORS
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 25

FAITH & INSPIRATION / CHRISTMAS STORY
The mystery of the Magi
How their presence points to Jesus as the
promised light for the nations
BY SUBBY SZTERSZKY
REYES MAGOS VITRAL / IKNUITSIN STUDIO; (PATTERN) PATTERN_SPIRIT / STOCK.ADOBE.COM
26
FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023

CHRISTMAS STORY / FAITH & INSPIRATION
NO NATIVITY SCENE OR
CHRISTMAS PLAY is complete
without them: Three regal figures,
wearing crowns or turbans, rubbing
shoulders with the shepherds as they
crowd around the manger to present
their gifts to the Christ Child.
As Bible scholar Brent Landau
points out, thanks to their role in the
traditional Christmas story, the Three
Kings (or Wise Men or Magi) are better
known to the general public than more
pivotal New Testament figures like the
apostle Paul or John the Baptist.
It’s ironic that most of what everyone
thinks they know about these visitors
from the east doesn’t come from the
New Testament but from traditions that
have coalesced over the centuries. They
weren’t kings, nor does “wise men”
quite do them justice. There were likely
more than three of them, and they
weren’t present at the manger when
Jesus was born but showed up weeks
or months later.
Matthew didn’t include them in his
Gospel so they could be extras in historically
inaccurate Nativity plays. Their
brief appearance serves a more vital
Gospel role, one that’s been obscured
by their popular Christmas image.
A brief, mysterious account
Of the four Gospel writers, only
Matthew records the visit of the Magi.
It’s a brief account, spare on detail and
shrouded in mystery. Matthew offers
no specifics about the visitors’ identity,
number or place of origin, merely calling
them “Magi (Greek magos, plural
magoi) from the east.” He’s equally
vague about the timeframe, stating
they arrived sometime “after Jesus was
born.” They first visited Herod before
trekking to Bethlehem, to the house
where the star had led them. After paying
homage to the child (not infant)
Jesus and presenting their gifts, they
returned to their own country, never to
be heard from again.
It seems strange that Luke, whose
Nativity account is much longer than
Matthew’s, makes no mention of the
Magi. As a thorough historian, he
no doubt could’ve provided a more
detailed record of the visit than
Matthew does. Also as a gentile author,
Luke had an affinity for foreigners and
outsiders, and these pagan visitors
from the east would’ve been a natural
fit for his version of the Nativity.
God’s Word, however, has a way of
subverting human expectation. Both
Matthew and Luke were led by the
Holy Spirit to record the details they
did. And Matthew, writing for a Jewish
audience, was intentional about including
this brief, mysterious account of the
Magi. To appreciate why, it’s essential
to see the Magi as his original readers
would’ve seen them.
In search of the
historical Magi
In the ancient world, the magoi were a
priestly caste from Babylon and Persia
who specialized in astrology, interpreting
dreams, and magic. The English
words “magic” and “magician” derive
from this name. By the time of Jesus,
magos had broadened to mean any
practitioner of the occult or mystic arts.
The word appears in the Septuagint,
the Greek translation of the Old
Testament, to denote the astrologers
and magicians at the court of
Nebuchadnezzar in the book of Daniel.
Philo of Alexandria refers to the pagan
seer Balaam and to the Egyptian sorcerers
in Exodus as magoi. And in the
book of Acts, Luke describes Elymas,
who opposed Paul and Barnabas at
Cyprus, as ho magos, the sorcerer.
But when it comes to the mysterious
figures in Matthew’s Nativity, translators
have shied away from these loaded
descriptors and opted for the more
neutral “wise men,” or else simply
transliterated magoi as Magi. This is
understandable, given that God condemns
such occult practices elsewhere
in Scripture. And “wise men” is not
incorrect either; the magoi would
indeed have been considered wise
men in a secular sense, as those who
possessed secret, arcane knowledge.
Nevertheless, the connection with
astrology and magic wouldn’t have
been lost on Matthew’s original readers,
Jewish or otherwise. In their day, signs
in the heavens were associated with
the rise of rulers, and magoi from
Persia or Babylon were considered
expert interpreters of such signs. They
would visit the court of a new king
as foreign dignitaries complete with
entourages, to pay homage to the monarch
and bring him royal presents.
Popular Christmas tradition
assumes there were three Magi who
visited Jesus because of the number
of gifts, and that they represented a
wide range of lands stretching from
Yemen in southern Arabia as far east as
India or China. But early Christian art
depicts anywhere from two to a dozen
Magi, typically in Persian garb. Most
likely they were from a single place in
Babylon or Persia, or possibly northern
Arabia around Syria and Jordan;
Matthew writes that they returned to
their own country (singular) after their
visit to Bethlehem.
The star and the gifts
Aside from the Magi themselves, the
most iconic elements of their story are
the star they followed to Bethlehem
and the gifts they brought the Christ
Child. Both have been subjects of speculation
over the years. Regarding the
star, it has been argued that it could’ve
been a natural phenomenon, such as a
comet or a supernova or an >>>
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 27

FAITH & INSPIRATION / CHRISTMAS STORY
unusual alignment of the planets.
Conversely, it may have been a unique
supernatural manifestation, possibly
an angel taking the appearance of a star.
Whichever the case, the magoi who
were experts in such matters saw the
star “when it rose” (a Greek astrological
term) and viewed it as a sign of the rise
of the true king of the Jews. During the
final leg of their journey from Jerusalem
to Bethlehem, the star took a more
directional turn, coming to rest over
the house where Jesus and His family
were staying. Drawing upon current
astronomical research, Bible scholar
Colin Nicholl has made a compelling
case that a comet under specific conditions
could’ve accounted for what the
Magi saw, by the providence of God.
As for the gifts, interpreters have
long sought to find spiritual symbolism
behind the gold, frankincense and
myrrh. Gold, it is said, is a royal gift, signifying
Jesus’ role as king. Frankincense
is used in worship, pointing to Jesus’
divinity. Myrrh is an anointing oil used
in burial, indicating Jesus’ humanity
and anticipating His death and resurrection.
And Isaiah mentions gold
and frankincense in a prophecy about
Israel with messianic echoes.
But Matthew, who appeals to fulfilled
prophecy throughout his Nativity
account, makes no such claims about
the gifts of the Magi. Such expensive
presents were given as a matter of
course to new monarchs as a display of
homage. The Magi were simply offering
the customary gifts fit for a king, which
underscored Matthew’s point that
Jesus was the promised royal figure
from the line of David. It’s also likely
the gifts were a providential means of
support for Jesus’ impoverished family
during their stay in Egypt.
Irony and a hint of scandal
It’s about 1,200 kilometers from the
city of Babylon in Iraq to Jerusalem,
over a month’s journey by caravan in
Bible times. It’s even farther from the
cities of Persia in Iran, but a group of
pagan astrologers was willing to make
that journey so they could worship the
promised king of the Jews—all because
they had seen an unusual star in the sky.
By contrast, it’s less than 10 kilometers
from Jerusalem to Bethlehem,
a couple of hours on foot. Yet Herod
wasn’t interested in making that trip
and neither were the Jewish chief
priests and scribes, who knew Micah’s
prophecy that Messiah would be born
in Bethlehem. Meanwhile, the magoi
from the east completed their journey
and “rejoiced exceedingly with great
joy” as they worshipped the royal messianic
child.
There’s irony in Matthew’s account,
but also a hint of scandal for his initial
Jewish audience. Unlike traditional
Christmas plays, these Jewish readers
wouldn’t have cast the magoi in a
favorable light. The extent to which
these visitors were actually involved
in the occult arts is not clear. Matthew
doesn’t say. But they were gentiles
associated with astrology and magic,
if only by reputation. Casting them as
positive examples would’ve had the
same effect as the Good Samaritan
in Jesus’ parable. It would’ve jumped
off the page and bristled the hackles
of pious Jews—which is as Matthew
intended.
Light and hope for the
nations
Matthew begins his Gospel with a
genealogy of Jesus as the son of David
and the son of Abraham. His purpose
is to show his Jewish readers that Jesus
the Messiah is not only the prophesied
Davidic king, but also the prophesied
descendant of Abraham through whom
all nations would be blessed. He
emphasizes this point by including
in his genealogy four women—Tamar,
Rahab, Ruth and Bathsheba—three of
whom were gentiles and a fourth who
was the wife of a gentile.
At the end of his Gospel, he records
Jesus’ Great Commission to “make disciples
of all nations, baptizing them in
the name of the Father and of the Son
and of the Holy Spirit.” From beginning
to end, Matthew presents a Messiah
who is not only the savior of Israel, but
the promised light and hope for the
nations. When he notes the angel’s
words that Jesus would save his people
from their sins, he means all people—
Jew or gentile, male or female—who
would put their trust in Jesus.
The Magi from the east illustrate this
radical message of grace. Although
limited in scriptural knowledge and
relying on pagan divination, they came
to recognize and worship the true
Messiah—becoming the first gentiles
to do so. Together with the women in
Matthew’s genealogy, they would’ve
leapt off the page and grabbed the
attention in a way mere statements of
fact never could. Their presence marks
the moment when the light and hope
of the Gospel first began to dawn on
the nations outside of Israel. That’s not
so bad for a group of extras from historically
inaccurate Christmas plays. •
Subby Szterszky is the managing editor of
<strong>Focus</strong> on Faith and Culture, an e-newsletter
produced by <strong>Focus</strong> on the Family Canada.
© 2019 <strong>Focus</strong> on the Family (Canada)
Association. All rights reserved.
28
FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023

eigniting your
5
Passion for Jesus
free video series
When we get distracted with the busyness of life or enmeshed in sin, despair or
hopelessness, we lose sight of the fact that we are deeply loved by the Creator
and we have been redeemed by Jesus Christ.
So, how can you keep the joy and freedom of Christ at the forefront of your mind
during the grind of daily life? Join Kim Meeder in this FREE nine-part video series
to learn how you can deepen your faith and experience Christ-centred peace,
even in the face of life’s trials and challenges.
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CREDIT TK
<strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca/Reigniting

FAITH & INSPIRATION / HELP & HOPE
how alexa
tells her
story
Her accident changed
everything, but instead of
giving in to grief, she gives
others hope
BY THOMAS JEFFRIES
Above: Alexa attending
a football game
Above: Alexa with
her family
Left: Alexa as
the high school
mascot, Wally the
Hawk, her junior
year of high school
before her injury
ALEXA WAS ABOUT TO DIE,
and she couldn’t do a thing about it.
Though they didn’t realize it at the time,
her friends were watching her die. That
actually made Alexa feel worse for them
than she did for herself; her friends, after
all, were the ones who thought she was just
acting silly. They could see Alexa floating
facedown in the swimming pool, and she
could hear them telling her to knock it off.
But Alexa wasn’t messing around. She
couldn’t knock it off if she tried, because she
had definitely tried. Still, she couldn’t move.
No one knows exactly how it happened,
not even Alexa. No one watched her dive
into the deep end, because they had all done
the same thing that afternoon. All Alexa
knows for sure is that her head struck something
hard—the side of the pool, or perhaps
the bottom—and she felt what she can only
describe as an electrical pulse. That pulse
radiated outward, she says, from the center
of her body to her fingers and toes.
“At that point, I floated up to the top of the
CREDIT TOP TK
LEFT: MONICA SALAZAR / STOCK.ADOBE.COM
30
FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023

HELP & HOPE / FAITH & INSPIRATION
CREDIT PHOTOS TK COURTESY OF ALEXA
water in a type of dead man’s float.”
Alexa isn’t sure how long she floated,
but it was long enough for her to think
of her friends and their reaction to finding
her this way. Thankfully, one of
them was curious enough or cautious
enough to call her bluff and turn her
over, and that’s when Alexa discovered
that her respiratory system, at least, still
functioned. She wasn’t dead yet, as her
huge gasp for air clearly demonstrated.
“What’s the deal?” someone asked,
and Alexa said the deal was that she
couldn’t move. Not her arms. Not her
legs. Nothing.
“Should we call 911?” her friends
wondered aloud.
“Yes,” Alexa said. “You should definitely
call 911.”
Typical family
The weather in San Angelo on April 6,
2006, was breezy and unseasonably
warm, even by west Texas standards.
Temperatures were in the mid-80s that
afternoon, perfect for a group of high
school kids eager for a taste of summer.
Ideal for an after-school dip in a friend’s
backyard pool.
Alexa’s life in San Angelo was also
idyllic by any standards. Her family lived
across the street from a park, where
everyone played and everyone felt safe.
Her mother, Marsha, says they were a
“typical middle-class family, involved
in church, school, sports.” Alexa
still recalls her parents praying
together every morning and the
neighborhood kids gathering in
the park most afternoons to play cops
and robbers. She loved all of it.
Her high school was relatively small
(again, by Texas standards), so Alexa did
a bit of everything—student council and
Spanish club, plus basketball, softball
and tennis. She was also the school’s
mascot: a green hawk named Wally.
“The costume was nearly unbearable
for early football games in the west
Texas heat,” she says, “but by the time
November rolled around, I was completely
comfortable.”
By early April, however, Alexa and
three friends from church were restless
and bored. Alexa was 17, a high school
junior and itching to dive into a pool—
something they had all done probably
a hundred times before.
Everything changed
Paramedics arrived and placed Alexa
in a cervical collar. Her parents showed
up as well, and Alexa gave them a
sheepish “hi,” as if she’d gotten caught
skipping class. She didn’t yet understand
how much her life had changed.
She joked with a friend that she probably
wouldn’t make it to math class the
next day, but the grim look on her parents’
faces gave her pause.
At the hospital came X-rays and
tests, followed by a “let’s-talk-in-thehallway”
moment between parents and
physicians. Marsha broke the news to
her daughter. Diagnosis: a traumatic
brain injury, a fracture of the C5 vertebra
and severe spinal cord damage.
Prognosis: paralysis of the upper and
lower body. In other words, quadriplegia.
Life in a wheelchair.
Alexa was injured on a Thursday.
The following Thursday, her right lung
collapsed due to infection, possibly
from inhaling water. The next Thursday
she suffered a seizure stemming from
her brain injury. All told, Alexa spent
six weeks in the hospital. She lost
Above: Alexa and one of
her friends, Alexis, from
in-patient rehab
Left: Alexa supporting her
high school at a pep rally
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 31

FAITH & INSPIRATION / HELP & HOPE
Alexa and her mom
at patient rehab
her mobility, her muscle tone and
nearly all memories of the previous
12 months. Her entire junior year and
some of her sophomore year . . . gone.
She also lost her previous way of
life. “Many of Alexa’s friends fell away,”
Marsha says, “because she couldn’t do
the things they were doing.”
“Every aspect of my life was affected,”
Alexa says. She spent that summer
at a rehab facility in Houston, relearning
basic tasks like eating and brushing her
teeth with the help of assistive devices.
As Alexa’s physical challenges continued,
her mental struggles began.
“Part of me knew that trials are a part
of life, but another part struggled with
why God would allow this to happen,”
she admits. “It was a real crisis of faith.
I finally decided that I was ‘all-in,’ and I
continued following God despite how
I was feeling. I still occasionally doubted,
but my resolve never wavered.”
Alexa managed to complete her
senior year on schedule, and then
stayed at home to attend Angelo State
University. After college she considered
medicine, but her physical
limitations made that seem impractical.
She pivoted to law, and in 2016,
10 years after her accident, Alexa
earned her J.D. from Southern
Methodist University.
Digital emissary
She saw the Facebook post during her
third year of law school: <strong>Focus</strong> on the
Family in the U.S. was seeking volunteers
for its Digital Outreach ministry,
and Alexa was intrigued. While traditional
mission trips and community
service are tough to manage from a
wheelchair, anyone with an internet
connection can reach out to hurting
people on social media. Alexa started
volunteering soon after she passed
the bar exam, and she’s been at it ever
since.
Maddie Thomas, Alexa’s coach on
the Digital Outreach team, says Alexa
is among the program’s most consistent
and most prolific volunteers.
“Alexa blew me away with her empathy,
wisdom and faith,” Maddie says.
“She is one of our younger volunteers
but has a range of life experiences
that make her able to reach a variety
of people.”
Alexa has now answered nearly
1,500 questions and reached more
than 500,000 people with her answers.
She spends her days as a practicing
attorney, but for a couple of evenings
each week she is an online emissary
for faith and family, frequenting digital
hangouts where complete strangers
embrace the honesty that comes with
anonymity.
“There are so many people looking
for answers online,” Alexa says, “and
probably an equal or even greater
number of people online who put
them down and are just plain mean.
Being a positive voice in all the negativity
really does make a difference.” •
Thomas Jeffries is freelance writer in Colorado
Springs, Colorado.
CREDIT TK PHOTOS COURTESY OF ALEXA
32
FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023
Above and Right: Alexa’s modified
vehicle so she can get around

HELP & HOPE / FAITH & INSPIRATION
CREDIT TK ADOBE STOCK / LIU MIU AND STOCKSY / GUILLE FAINGOLD
Below: Alexa working
and hanging out
with her friend
Above: Alexa’s
graduation from
law school
BY FOCUS ON THE FAMILY CANADA
Have you ever heard someone’s story—like Alexa’s—and found profound
encouragement in seeing God at work in their life? Stories are powerful.
Stories let us know we’re not alone. And when they point us to the goodness
of God, they can be life-changing.
We all have long, ongoing, complicated stories—and God is always at
work in them. Even if we can’t sense His presence at the time, we know
that one day we will look back and see His handiwork. God can work
directly in our lives, but most often He works through His people. Every
day people share with us how God reached them through the ministry of
<strong>Focus</strong> on the Family Canada.
Has <strong>Focus</strong> on the Family Canada been a part of your story? Whether it
was a meaningful talk with one of our counsellors that turned your marriage
around, a helpful product that provided valuable parenting tips, or
a relevant article on our website that inspired you to walk closer with
God, we’d love to hear how <strong>Focus</strong> has made a difference in your life.
When you share your story, you will:
• Encourage others to explore the <strong>Focus</strong> on the Family Canada
resource that made a difference in your life.
• Inspire people to share their own stories.
• Honor God by showing His power to heal, renew and restore.
If you have a story to share, visit <strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca/
ShareYourStory. Your story is powerful and may offer help and hope to
someone who needs it. •
The Digital Outreach program is a part of the American <strong>Focus</strong> on the Family ministry,
but if you are from Canada and have a story to share, <strong>Focus</strong> on the Family Canada
would love to hear from you!
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 33

Kids’ magazines
a gift that gives all year!
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An award-winning
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stories, mysteries, bios
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crafts and more.
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Godly role models,
relationship advice, Bible
readings, fashion tips,
quizzes and more to
help young women build
their life on faith.
Subscribe or renew online at
Shop.<strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca/Magazines or call 1.800.661.9800

Kids & Teens
ADOBE STOCK / HAMMONDOVI
a sing-along
celebration
A parenting insight
from Rebekah Cherry
as told to Faith Wismer
Before Christmas, my husband, kids and I
sing carols together in our living room every
night. My kids love this quality time, and they
look forward to sipping hot chocolate and
helping select songs. We intentionally include
many of the classics that focus on God’s Word
and the birth of our Savior. My husband
and I pray that these songs will fill the air of
our household and touch the hearts of our
children.
Then on one special night before the season
comes to a close, my family and I invite
loved ones to our home for a sing-along. A
dear friend who’s well into his 80s plays piano
for us, and his experience as a piano professor
ensures skilled accompaniment. To
further hearten the mood of the evening, my
husband and I serve homemade green enchiladas
to our guests, we exchange gifts, and we
enjoy each other’s fellowship. The warmth of
the night’s festivities prepares our hearts to
fully celebrate the birth of our Savior. •
Rebekah Cherry is a mom of five and resides in Santa
Clarita, California. She and her husband love the Lord
and desire to raise their kids in His Word.
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 35

KIDS & TEENS / INTENTIONALITY
your
Christmas
Legacy
Encouraging my
kids to honor
Jesus during the
holiday season
BY LINSEY DRISKILL
ONE YEAR MY FAMILY AND I
used a candle that had the days of Advent
marked on it. We lit it during our meals and
blew it out when the candle melted down
to the next day’s number. This shimmering
Christmas candle helped remind us that
Jesus is the Light of the World, the One we
celebrate, the reason for our joy and the
One who shines and leads us.
As I reflect on Christmas this season,
I want to remind my three children about
the foundations we have in faith and family
—especially when life can feel shaky. My
hope is that my kids will eventually share
them with the next generation so no one
in our family becomes distracted by the
moment and misses the gift of the season.
JOSEPH GONZALEZ / UNSPLASH; (PATTERN) MARIA SKRIGAN / STOCK.ADOBE.COM
36
FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023

INTENTIONALITY / KIDS & TEENS
Christmas is about giving to
others as Christ gave to us.
How to share Christ’s generosity:
• Bake sugar cookies and give them to
neighbors.
• Bring loads of food to those working on
Christmas Day, such as the staff at a
neonatal intensive care unit.
• Participate in a family gift exchange.
• Send as many items as possible in shoeboxes
for children in other countries.
• Donate clothes to children in need.
Christmas is about
remembering Jesus’ birth.
Fun ways to tell the Christmas story:
• Write and perform a skit about the story of Jesus, or
make a Nativity scene to act out the first Christmas.
• Make countdown-to-Christmas paper-chain links—
each link sharing a few sentences about the story of Jesus.
• Beginning on Dec. 1 and continuing to Christmas Eve,
write on slips of paper about the times family members
loved others well. Add the slips to a box that can be
opened as a gift for Jesus on Christmas Day.
• Bake a birthday cake and sing “Happy Birthday” to
celebrate the birth of Jesus.
Christmas is about savoring
and celebrating Jesus’ birth.
Activities to enjoy the season:
• Tour the neighborhood to see Christmas light displays.
• Sing Christmas carols.
• Design paper snowflakes.
• Attend a candlelight service on Christmas Eve.
• Go to a Christian Christmas music concert or play.
• Visit a live Nativity scene.
• Send Christmas cards to friends and family. >>>
WAVEBREAK3 / STOCK.ADOBE.COM
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 37

KIDS & TEENS / INTENTIONALITY
Christmas is about the greatest love
ever given, with the hope that all
would receive it.
Christmas messages to remember:
• God doesn’t care about riches; He only cares about
what’s in our hearts.
• Jesus came for you. He came for me.
• God sent His Son because of His great love for us.
• Jesus is the Savior of the world.
• Jesus’ birth was the Good News that brought great joy.
LISTEN NOW!
Author Asheritah Ciuciu
encourages listeners to embrace
the four themes of Advent—hope,
preparation, joy and love—and
redeem their Christmas celebrations.
<strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca/Radio
Christmas is about how God is faithful
and kept His promise to send a Messiah,
His only begotten Son, to save humankind
from sin.
Present the Christmas story in the Bible as real and not fiction:
• Jesus came as a helpless baby, born in a Bethlehem stable.
• The glory of the Lord shone all around the shepherds.
• An angel appeared to the shepherds and told them not
to be afraid.
• Heavenly hosts praised God, saying, “Glory to God
in the highest.”
• The shepherds hurried to see Jesus and spread the Good
News to others.
I don’t want to let the beauty of Christmas slip between
my fingers in the busyness of the season. These lists are
my attempt to make sure my kids know how to treasure
and celebrate what Jesus has done for them. And they
help me remember to share with my kids why we celebrate
this time of the year. •
Linsey Driskill is a speaker and author who is passionate about
encouraging families in following Jesus. Her devotional, Beautiful
Hearted Women of the Bible: A creative mother-daughter devotional,
fosters connection with one another and Jesus through stories,
questions, prayers and activities.
©KELLY KNOX / STOCKSY UNITED; (PATTERN) MARIA SKRIGAN / STOCK.ADOBE.COM
38
FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023

HUMOR / KIDS & TEENS
deck the house
with dazzling lights
What started as a Christmas
tradition became an act
of thoughtfulness
BY DAVE MEURER
ILLUSTRATIONS BY
ROSANNA TASKER
sketch
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 39

KIDS & TEENS / HUMOR
MY FAMILY AND I have always
loved outdoor Christmas lights. Every
December, we’d fill a thermos with
hot chocolate, wrap ourselves in blankets,
open the car windows and cruise
through any wonderland of lights in
our town.
Our own Christmas decorating
began modestly. The mission my wife,
Dale, gave me was simple: Drive to
the store with our two boys, Mark and
Brad. Return with two strands of outdoor
Christmas lights. You’d think she
would have learned her lesson after
she sent us to buy flour, and we came
back with a four-person raft.
Once at the store, Brad whispered
softly, lest other shoppers notice the
great deal, “These only cost two bucks
for 100 lights.”
“I guess we could get a few more,”
I said.
Mark began scooping lights off the
shelf by the armful.
“ ‘A few’ doesn’t mean all,” I said.
“But we can light up our whole
house! Even the roof! And all the trees!”
Mark exclaimed.
“Plus, it would be fun!” Brad said.
Their logic was unassailable.
The result of all the lights on our
house was so visually stunning that we
scarcely noticed the sharp whine of the
electric meter as it spun with the velocity
of a buzz saw.
The first year we moved to our
current home, when Brad was 10 and
Mark was 12, we again put up our light
display. By this time, we had enough
wiring yardage to drape the windows,
roof lines, chimney, garage, front fence,
hedges, bushes, trees and stray cats
that walked through the yard.
Our neighbor, an elderly woman
named Millie, loved our decorations.
Millie was a widow and lived in the
house across the street. She rarely left
her home, largely because she looked
after an equally aging relative who
lived next to her. She watched ministers
on television and prayed in her
home because she would not leave her
relative unattended.
“I just love to see your lights!” Millie
told Dale one day. “I look forward to
it each year. I can’t get out so much
anymore, but I can look out my window
and enjoy the sight. It makes my
Christmas.”
In fact, it was our Christmas light
display that really sparked the friendship
between Millie and Dale. One
of Millie’s Christmas traditions was
whipping up pounds and pounds of
homemade candies, which she gave to
friends and loved ones. One day Dale
brought in a tray Millie gave us.
“She made all this?” Mark asked. She
had gifted us with fudge, maple glazed
walnuts, peanut brittle and a broad
array of other goodies.
“That must have been a ton of work,”
Brad said as he reached for a treat.
As the boys grew, developing new
hobbies, friends and interests, our
annual spectacle of lights began to dim.
The boys and I would still hang lights,
but fewer of them, and sometimes just
days before Christmas.
A year finally came in which Brad
said, “Let’s just hang a couple of
strands on the fence. Besides, it’s
almost Christmas and we’ll just have to
take them down in a week.”
I agreed.
But Dale was now leading the
charge of the light brigade. “It’s important
for Millie, even if no one else sees
them.”
Most of us won’t ever be touted
in headlines, won’t be on television,
won’t be in the spotlight and won’t
wield national power. Odds are, most
of us will scarcely be noticed outside of
our small circle of family and friends.
But Jesus said that God notices, and
rewards, small acts of thoughtfulness
done in His name, even down to giving
a thirsty person a cup of cold water. So
Brad and I got the ladders and flashlights
and trudged out into the night.
We put up our family’s dazzling display
of Christmas lights—not because we
wanted to or had to.
That year, we decorated just for
Millie. •
Dave Meurer is a humor writer and nonfiction
book author.
40
FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023

FICTION / KIDS & TEENS
‘God sure does take care of us’
This Christmas season, discover your family’s
story of God’s faithfulness during hard times
BY FARRAH ADKINS | ILLUSTRATIONS BY MATTHEW LAZNICKA
(TEXTURE) ELEN31 / STOCK.ADOBE.COM
A SENSE OF NOSTALGIA can
help warm our hearts during the holidays.
As we think back on joyful celebrations and
moments with loved ones, we remember
what’s important: loving others. But if you’re
low on tales from the past, consider asking
grandparents about their lives and memories.
Taking the time to capture these remembrances
may become a priceless family
treasure for your children. Kids can also learn
important lessons during these sentimental
recollections. Perhaps their ancestors modeled
good choices during an arduous struggle, made
ends meet with integrity, followed Christ amid
difficult circumstances or demonstrated what it
means to be a family.
Not sure how to capture these stories?
Read how I retell a story of hardship and
God’s faithfulness to my grandfather when
he was a boy. Use the discussion questions
that follow to explore history with your children.
>>>
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 41

KIDS & TEENS / FICTION
42
FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023

FICTION / KIDS & TEENS
(TEXTURE) ELEN31 / STOCK.ADOBE.COM
THE PUNGENT SMELL OF ONIONS filled the
two-room log cabin as a snowstorm raged outside.
Seven-year-old Ed stuffed his hands into the pockets
of his overalls as he stared at his 2-year-old niece,
Helen, in the darkened bedroom. At least she’d
stopped coughing, but her breathing was still ragged.
Her recovery would be the best Christmas present
for him.
What if she isn’t going to be all right? Ed pushed
the thought from his mind as his bare feet carried
him into the front room. The rough boards creaked
beneath his weight.
Hassie, his sister-in-law, looked up as she tied an
apron over the front of the dress she had sewn from
flour sacks. “How’s she doing?”
“She’s sleeping,” Ed said as he watched Hassie put
fresh butter into the cast iron skillet and then toss in a
cup of chopped onions.
She cracked a little smile. “Thanks for keeping an
eye on her.”
“Sure,” Ed nodded.
After his mother’s death a few months ago, his
brother, Bartley, had invited Ed to move in. Bartley
and Hassie did their best to make him a part of their
family, but Ed felt like a puzzle piece that didn’t
quite fit.
“Could you stir this for me, please?” Hassie asked.
Ed rolled up the sleeves on his shirt and hurried to
the coal stove they used for cooking food and heating
the cabin. Grasping the wooden spoon in his hand,
he stirred the onions. It was the least he could do.
Besides, it gave him time to think. He didn’t want
to be a burden on his brother and Hassie. After all, he
was 7 now, practically a man.
A snowy wind rushed into the room as Bartley
entered carrying a heavy burlap sack. “Hassie, look
what I got.” He held out the open bag as he slammed
the wooden door shut behind him.
Hassie looked and then grinned. “How?”
“Ol’ Ben and Fred came into town with a heap load
of possums they caught,” Bartley explained. “I told
’em I’d help fix their roof. It’s leakin’ again.”
Ed’s stomach growled. Mmm, possum and taters,
he thought. It had been awhile since they’d had meat.
Maybe I could learn to catch possums for the family . . .
if I stay.
Hassie’s eyes glimmered with tears. “God sure does
take care of us.”
“That’s not all, Hassie.” Bartley set down the bag.
“The Ramsey boys caught a bunch of carp down at the
river just before the weather turned bad. Too many
for them to eat. I got three.”
Hassie’s hands flew to her mouth. Without a word,
she hurried back to the stove and took the spoon
from Ed. Hassie had fed the Ramsey boys for days
when their Ma died. Not fish, just beans. It’s all she
had to share.
Ed backed up as Hassie lifted the pan from the stove.
“How’s our little girl doing?” Bartley asked.
“She’s stopped coughing,” Ed spoke up since he
didn’t think Hassie was ready to answer. “But her
breathing is still thick.”
Hassie waived Ed over to her side. “Look, Ed, these
are cooked perfect.” She dumped the onions in the
middle of a piece of flannel ripped from an old shirt
and folded the four corners into the middle to cover
them. “You just made your first onion poultice,” she
told him. Her eyes beamed with pride. “Soon as it
cools a bit, I’ll put this on Helen’s chest. It should help
with the congestion.”
“Hassie, Ed and I are headed out,” Bartley said.
She stopped and looked back from the bedroom
door. “You just got home.”
“I heard a coal train’s coming through soon,”
he said.
Hassie frowned. “That’s dangerous.” >>>
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 43

KIDS & TEENS / FICTION
Bartley gazed at his wife with gentle eyes.
“Now don’t you worry. I’m not a rowdy boy like
when you first met me. I won’t be jumping on
any trains and throwing down coal.”
Ed had seen people do that before. For some
of them, it was the only way to cook or warm
their homes during the winter months. He cast a
glance at their coal bucket. It was low. But even
though times were hard, he knew God didn’t
want them to steal coal.
“Then why are we going?” Ed questioned. He
sat on the floor to put on his hand-me-down
brogue boots.
“I need your eyes.” Bartley winked at Ed. “After
a coal train passes, sometimes small pieces of
coal fall off. If they are very small, the crowd
doesn’t bother with ’em. If we get enough small
pieces, we’ll have coal for another day.”
Letting out a sigh of relief, Hassie gave a wave
and tiptoed into Helen’s room.
“Ready to help?” Bartley raised one brow.
Ed nodded. He’d helped Hassie make the
onion poultice. Now he’d help Bartley find
pieces of leftover coal. And when Bartley
found work again, Ed would get the coal on his
own. And Hassie’s onion poultice would help
his niece recover. This was going to be a good
Christmas.
Bartley set the burlap sack by the stove.
Hassie would know what to do with the meat
and fish.
Ed finished tying his boots, pulling the laces
tight since they were a few sizes too big. Then he
pulled on his heavy coat.
“I’m ready,” Ed said. And he did feel ready.
Maybe his brother and sister-in-law needed
him, too. The Depression was a difficult time,
but soon, when he was 8, he could do more for
them. He knew how to plant and weed a garden.
He knew how to sweep the floor and make a bed
and play with Helen. Maybe it only took time
and willingness to fit in. •
Farrah Adkins is a Christian fiction author and freelance
writer. She has been married to her husband, Steve, for 24
years, and they have two teenagers.
YOUR HISTORY
A DISCUSSION FOR PARENTS AND KIDS
The Great Depression lasted from 1929 to about 1939.
By 1933, unemployment reached 25%. Many people
were without food, and some were homeless.
Consider sharing some of your family stories with
your children, especially those about how past generations
made it through the Great Depression. Help
your kids understand that God will be with them
in hard times, and when they are sick or in need.
Sometimes He helps them out of their situation, and
sometimes He stays with them as they remain in it.
But He is always there. Here are a few questions to
start this discussion:
• What do we use to treat coughs and colds today?
How did Helen’s family try to help her get well
during the Depression? Why didn’t they take her to
a doctor?
• How did the people in this story help each other
survive the Depression? Why might being kind to
others and sharing what you have, no matter how
little, be important even today?
• Why do you think people used wood- or coal-burning
stoves to heat their homes? How do we heat our
house in modern times?
Visit <strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca/ChristmasStory
to find another original Christmas tale to
encourage you and your family.
(TEXTURE) ELEN31 / STOCK.ADOBE.COM
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KIDS & TEENS / PLUGGED IN MEDIA
(TOP TO BOTTOM): SONY PICTURES ENTERTAINMENT; 20TH CENTURY STUDIOS; DAVIS ENTERTAINMENT
FIVE CHRISTMAS MOVIES
ACTUALLY ABOUT CHRIST
BY EMILY CLARK
WHAT MAKES A CHRISTMAS
MOVIE, you know, a Christmas movie?
Is a Christmas movie simply a film
that takes place around Christmas time?
Because if so, then Die Hard, Rocky IV,
Batman Returns, Gremlins and Iron Man 3
all make the cut.
And if that’s the only qualifier, then it
opens the door for any movie that simply
includes a Christmas-time scene. Which
means Steel Magnolias, Little Women,
Meet Me in St. Louis, Edward Scissorhands
and several of the Harry Potter movies
are all contenders as well.
I know many a Christian who would
argue that The Chronicles of Narnia: The
Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe is
a Christmas movie. Because after the
Pevensie children start to break the
curse (that it’s always winter but never
Christmas in Narnia), Santa shows up to
give them gifts to help them in their battle
against the White Witch.
And then of course, there are movies
that aren’t Christmas movies at all, but
you’ve categorized them as such in your
mind because you always watch them
around Christmas. My own family
had a strong text message debate about
whether Father of the Bride was a
Christmas movie. We, of course, realized
it isn’t but confused it as one since our
only memories of seeing it were when
we were all together—which was usually
for Christmas.
Ultimately, we’ll let you decide what
is or isn’t a Christmas movie. But here
are five decidedly Christmas movies,
chosen because they highlight the reason
for the season: the birth of Christ.
The Nativity Story (2006)
Th e S t a r(2017)
VeggieTales’ The Little Drummer Boy (2011)
The Three Wise Men (2020)
Christmas With the Chosen: “ Th e
Messengers” (2021)
Emily studied film and writing when she was in
college. She enjoys food, sleep, and everything
geeky.
UPCOMING REVIEWS
For reviews of these and other titles, visit
PluggedIn.com, <strong>Focus</strong> on the Family’s media
review and discernment website.
AVATAR:
THE WAY
OF WATER
Can Jake and Neytiri
protect their family
from invading humans?
Scheduled release:
Dec. 16
A MAN
CALLED OTTO
Is it too late for a cranky
old man to embrace the
value of life?
Scheduled release: Dec. 14
HAROLD AND THE
PURPLE CRAYON
Will this film adaptation be faithful
to the classic children’s book?
Scheduled release: Jan. 27
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 45

KIDS & TEENS / MY THRIVING FAMILY
Christmas
Joy
Lily, 11, Arren, 3, Ethan, 5, and
Noah, 13
Our kids celebrate the Christmas
season wearing festive hats . . .
and big smiles.
—Jessica from Ontario
Karis, 7
Wanting to give a gift to Mom
and Dad, our daughter rolled up
wrapping paper and decorated it.
Nothing in it except her love.
—David and Grace from Washington state
Ella, 1, Hope, 9, and Jubilee, 3
Our daughter enjoys an early
Christmas gathering with her
nieces!
—Margie from Massachusetts
Asa, 3
Celebrating Jesus’
birthday with a
Christmas cookie cake.
—Hadassah from Ohio
Your kids could be in
<strong>Focus</strong> on the Family magazine!
Email photos* of your children in their Christmas
pajamas or celebrating their birthday. (Put “Christmas
Pajamas” or “Birthday Party” in the subject line.)
Send to: info@fotf.ca
* Largest photo possible. Professional photos are not accepted.
46
FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
DECEMBER 2022 / JANUARY 2023

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