Uncle Andy's Digest - NOVEMBER 2022

UNCLE
ANDY’S
DIGEST
GET REAL. GET HYUNDAI.
Sales • Lease • Rentals • Parts & Service
DAILY, WEEKLY, &
MONTHLY RENTALS
AVAILABLE!
Call Ryan Kennard
207-346-0279
NOVEMBER
2022
SINCE 1996
Whited Equipment Co. is your
New Factory Authorized Hyundai
Construction Equipment Dealer
for Central & Southern Maine.
New & used available!
whitedhyundai.com • (855) 882-4010 • Come see us at 2160 Hotel Road, Auburn
207-782-7113
Get Your FREE
Quote Today!
Uncle Andy’s Digest
31 Blake Street, Lewiston • armandsautobody.com
Nov. 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
1

The turkey was put into jail because he was suspected of fowl play.
TAKE THE NEXT STEP IN YOUR CAREER!
Home Healthcare & Hospice RN’s & LPN’s
For immediate consideration call Lynzie Pinard! (207) 777-7740 ext. 1423
Scan this QR code
to view current openings
Bonus Program Available, Tuition Reimbursement, Student Loan Forgiveness, Mileage Reimbursement, Professional Development
Androscoggin.org/careers
Inclusivity and equality is important to our ability to take
care of each other and, in turn, our patients. We want every
member of our team to feel valued, respected, and heard.
We are proud to be designated
a “Best Places to Work in Maine”
employer eight times and counting!
Comfort Food
at its finest!
85 Center Street, Auburn
11a-9p daily
207-784-8221
By replacing your morning coffee with green tea, you can lose up to 87%
of what little joy you still have left in your life.

The movie “Blazing Saddles” has just been edited for television.
It will air tonight from 8:00-8:07pm.
MODERN WOODMEN
OF AMERICA
NOVEMBER 2022
ACTIVITIES
Tuesday, November 15th
Roy’s Breakfast
7:00-10:00am
5 Washington Street, Auburn
M: $5.00 G: $6.00
Purchase Tickets: 11-9-2022
(9-11am & 1-3pm)
Modern Woodmen of America continues to be strong and stable, even in these times of
uncertainty. We've been around since 1883, standing strong through world wars, national
disease outbreaks, depressions and recessions.
Do you have questions or concerns about your financial plan? Call today. We will
continue to be here for you.
Paul Colasante*
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-782-8823
Art Chamberlain*
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-514-7003
Ted Heidrich*
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-57 6-5656
Thursday, November 17th
Fielder’s Choice
4:00-7:00pm
680 Minot Avenue, Auburn
M: $2.50 G: $3.00
Purchase Tickets: 11-9-2022
(9-11am & 1-3pm)
Tuesday, November 22nd
Dairy Queen
4:00-7:00pm
661 Minot Avenue, Auburn
M: $5.00 G: $6.00
Purchase Tickets: 11-9-2022
(9-11am & 1-3pm)
Mike
Courtemanche*
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-783-8921
Richard
Courtemanche
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-786-3622
Paul Gagne*
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-576-3426
Reminder: Please do not call
the restaurants. If you have a
question, please call the office
at 207-782-1833 or 207-333-
6052 and speak with Jamie.
Tickets must be purchased at
the MWA District Office at 184
Webster Street Lewiston on
the dates/times listed for each
activity. Menus are subject to
change. No substitutions or
add-ons.
Most importantly-Have Fun!
Brad Mates*
Lewsiston, ME 04240
207-248-7520
Ron Ouellette*
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-786-3612
Kim Pelkey*
Lewiston, ME 04240
207-786-2573
4
Modern Woodmen .,,_
FRATERNAL FINANCIAL
*Registered representative. Securities offered through MWA Financial Services Inc., a wholly owned
subsidiary of Modern Woodmen of America. Member: FINRA, SIPC
My dinner my wife cooked had so much salt and pepper
that I could hear it singing, “Push It.”
DID YOU
KNOW?
Big Bird’s costume
on Sesame Street is
made of turkey feathers
that have been
dyed yellow.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
Nov. 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
3

Uncle Andy’s Digest
is published by the first
Friday of every month by
Maine Mountain Ocean
Group, Inc. with its world
headquarters located at
9 Grove Street, Auburn,
Maine, USA.
Published and distributed
since 1996 throughout
Central Maine and mailed to
subscribers all over the Free
World. Subscriptions are
$39/year.
UncleAndysDigest.com
Office: 207-783-7039
UAD Super Heroes
April showers bring May flowers. And Mayflowers bring Pilgrims.
Smile in
Comfort
CAPTAIN
SUZY-Q
ELASTIGIRL
PAM
WONDER
WOMAN
TYLA
BATGIRL
STEPHANIE
SMILE AGAIN DENTURES
801 Webster Street, Lewiston • smileagaindentures@gmail.com
SmileAgainDentures.com
514-0660
All work done on-site.
Repairs usually same day service!
Like our
name implies,
we’ll make you
SMILE
AGAIN
HULK
SMASH
THOMAS
IRONSIDES
STEVE
While Uncle Andy’s Digest tries
very hard to ensure the accuracy
of the information in our clients’
advertisements and our publication
in general, we are not responsible
for vendor availability, typographical
errors, technical inaccuracies, product
pricing errors, or omissions.
Joe & Mike
Adkins
Licensed
Denturists
Call us today for:
• Full Dentures
• Immediate Dentures
Joe & Mike
• Partial Adkins Dentures
Licensed
Denturists
• Rebases
• Relines
• Repairs
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
4 Nov. 2022 783-7039
My Flat Earth Society movie was just nominated for a Golden Globe.

The Energizer Bunny was arrested and charged with battery.
Come see Kathy & Joe!
Scan
here to
see our
menu!
Out ‘n About at
NFP Insurance
for their Open House
We are
so excited to
have moved to a
new location at 681
Sabattus Street in
Lewiston! This open
house was a great
opportunity to show
off the new space...
and our office
doggy!
We will be
closed
Thanksgiving
Day.
Now Hiring at Both Locations!
November 11th
Veterans with ID get
10% off of their meal.
Happy Thanksgiving!
We will be closed
Thanksgiving Day.
Tuesday - Sunday: 7am-3pm
103 Lincoln Street, Lewiston
207-333-5062
Order Online! Visit our website:
stationgrillrestaurant.com
Ask about our
FRIDAY NIGHT CORNHOLE
TOURNAMENT
Signups at 6:30p, Start 7p
$10 entry fee Seafood is back!
551 Lincoln Street, Lewiston
207-777-1155 • www.schemengees.com
Monday-Thursday: 4:00pm-12:00am • Friday-Saturday: 4:00pm-1:00am
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
Veterans
with ID get
10% off of
their meal.
Steffany Sleeper
with Kinley
Do Transformers
buy auto
insurance or life
insurance?
Josette Malacaria
Uncle Andy’s Digest
Nov. 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
5

Geology rocks! But Geography is where it’s at!
Rolly’s Diner
Happy Thanksgiving, neighbors.
Whether
it’s for breakfast
or lunch, I love
being Out ‘n About
at Rolly’s Diner!
I’m thankful to be part of such a wonderful
community. I wish all my neighbors a
safe and happy Thanksgiving.
Like a good neighbor,
State Farm is there. ®
Hanging The
Turkey
Submitted by Thomas Hill
Young Simon was
sitting in his grandmother’s
kitchen,
watching her prepare
the Thanksgiving
meal.
“What are you doing?”
Simon inquired.
DON’T KNOW
WHAT TO DO
NEXT? WE DO. ®
Governor Janet Mills
For any disaster,
call ServiceMaster!
“Oh, I’m just stuffing
the turkey,” his grandmother
replied.
WATER FIRE MOLD
“Wow, that’s cool.”
Simon remarked. “Are
you going to hang it
next to the deer?”
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
6
Jimbo
Nov. 2022 783-7039
29 Brickyard Circle,
Auburn
(800) 244-7630
(207) 539-4452 www.smfireandwater.com • www.smcarpetcleaning.com
When you empty your vacuum cleaner filter, you become a vacuum cleaner.

NORDS GET READY TO ROLL !
2022-2023 HOME SCHEDULE - Catch the action at The Colisée.
SPONSORED BY:
#ROLLNORDS!
OPPONENT DATE TIME
NOVEMBER
Generals 11/11/22 7:05pm
Generals 11/12/22 7pm
Danbury 11/22/22 7pm
Danbury 11/23/22 7pm
DON’T MISS THE UPCOMING HOME GAMES
11/11 • 11/12 • 11/22 • 11/23 • 12/2 • 12/3
OPPONENT DATE TIME
DECEMBER
Maryland 12/16/22 7:05pm
Maryland 12/17/22 7pm
Danbury 12/30/22 7:05pm
Danbury 12/31/22 7pm
JANUARY
Maryland 1/20/23 7:05pm
Maryland 1/21/23 7pm
FEBRUARY
Philly 2/3/23 7:05pm
Philly 2/4/23 7pm
Generals 2/19/23 3pm
OPPONENT DATE TIME
MARCH
Johnstown 3/2/23 7pm
Johnstown 3/3/23 7:05pm
Johnstown 3/4/23 7pm
Titans 3/24/23 7:05pm
Titans 3/25/23 7pm
Johnstown 3/31/23 7:05pm
APRIL
Johnstown 4/1/23 7pm
Titans 4/7/23 7:05pm
Titans 4/8/23 7pm
Philly 4/14/23 7:05pm
Philly 4/15/23 7pm
FULL and HALF
SEASON TICKETS
ON SALE
NOW
28 GAMES SEASON TICKETS:
Adult $224
Student, Senior,
Veteran $200
14 GAMES SEASON TICKETS:
Adult $126
Student, Senior,
Veteran $112
Visit MaineNordiques.com to see our full 22-23 schedule.
We’re MORE than a Club —
We’re a Special Events Venue too.
www.thecolisee.com
NOV. EVENTS
Open every Friday & Saturday
WE OFFER:
• Seating capacity of 130
• Catering services available
• Fully stocked bar
• Audio visual support
BOOK YOUR EVENT or SCHEDULE a WALK THROUGH:
email us at info@thecolisee.com.
FRIDAY
NOV. 4 th
THE RIVER
COMICS
FRIDAY
NOV. 11 th
LIVE MUSIC!
thecolisee.com/the-colisee-club/
SCAN THE
QR CODES
TO CONNECT
TO OUR
SOCIAL
CHANNELS
INSIDE THE COLISÉE CLUB

Out ‘n About at
NFP Insurance
for their Open House
You’ll never
find me sitting down
on the job...
oh wait...
My friends and I love to go try out new restaurants. They are my taste buds.
We are thankful for our clients
Jon
Mercier
Mark
Turner
Toni
Ferraro
Brandon
Caruso
Deb
Morin
Linda
Dupuis
There,
that’s better!
Up and at
‘em! Give me a call
anytime! I take the
hassle out of all your
insurance stresses...
No Frickin’
Problem!
Dustin
Mallar
Mason
Dupuis
Lindsay
Wright
Shannon
White
368 Minot Avenue, Auburn
207.333.6001
mainesourcehomes.com
Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. He kept leaving little messages around the house.
Out ’n About in Auburn
Dawn
Lopez
Malayka
Harriman
How do you organize
a solar system?
You planet.
How many Sith Lords
does it take to
change a light bulb?
None. They prefer the
Dark Side.
What is a bird’s
favorite coffee?
Starducks.
There is an emergency
at the cemetery. The
situation is very grave.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
8
John
Blanchette
Jimbo
Nov. 2022 783-7039
DIGEST SUPERFAN CHASE BREWIN
is always excited when a new issue comes out! He even sent us his favorite jokes!
Rest in peace to boiling water. You will be mist.

HAS IT ALL
Your one-stop shop for:
• Amazing food (eat in or take out)
• Agency liquor store with beer cave
• Lottery tickets
• Redemption center
207-345-5551
23 Pleasant Street, Mechanic Falls • www.dadsplacemaine.com
Catering
Full serve catering at the
location of your choice.
Book Your
2023
Events
Now!
207-345-9009
DadsPlaceCatering.com
Dad’s Redemption Center
6¢ a
bottle for
Make-A-Wish
Donations!
Redemption Center is
directly behind Dad’s Place
DONATE YOUR
BOTTLES TO
Help grant a wish to a local child
battling a critical illness
See our redemption ad on page 32

Out ‘n About at
NFP Insurance
for their Open House
Linda Racine
Whether
you’re a business
or a personal client,
we can take care of
all your insurance
needs!
Marion Gherson
NFP
will even insure
your DeLorean. It
doesn’t matter if you
only drive it from
time to time.
I couldn’t help but notice that “Awesome” ends with “Me” and “Ugly” starts with “U.”
Bringing the Ocean to your Table
Party
Platters
Available
(orders only)
Take out • Dine in
Homemade Goods
Gift Certificates Available
The freshest seafood around!
Gray, ME
Hours: Mon. 11a-5p • Tues.-Thurs. 11a-6p • Fri.-Sat. 10a-7p • Sun. 10a-5p
Out ‘n About at Taste the Harvest
WE HAVE
LIVE LOBSTERS!
Let us do the cooking!
No extra charge!
Plan ahead for
the holidays
Now taking orders!
207-657-3474
59c Portland Road, Gray
Kelsey Bailey
Marty Harper
Julia Harper
Sam Boss
Tell us you saw us in Uncle Andy’s Digest!
ROEBUCKS ANGUS
Happy Turkey
Day! Don’t forget
our gift certificates
make great gifts!!
A shout out to all our veterans!
Scott Sinclair
JAY 207.754.1558 • SUE 207.754.6558
783 UPPER ST. • TURNER
Sunday-closed; Mon-Fri 12-5:30pm; Sat 9am-4pm
INSPECTED
• REGISTERED ANGUS
• NATURAL ANGUS BEEF
• MEAT PACKAGES
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
10 Nov. 2022 783-7039
I often wonder how things worked out for that guy who grabbed the bull by the horns.

MAINE’S #1 STEAKHOUSE
Shown here:
Coconut Shrimp & Bull Chips Appetizers
Nobody Does Gameday Like Mac’s!
Thank
you, Veterans, for
your service!
Come on in
and watch the
game!
Sundays
are fun! Eat
and watch a
game!
November 11th
Free Burger
for Veterans
with a valid military ID
experienced cooks
APPLY WITHIN
1052 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 783-6885 • MacsGrill.com

Out ‘n About at
NFP Insurance
for their Open House
022 SEASON
our Seats …
howtime!
his
rmance
you to a
lace.
Sarah Giggey
NFP can
y, June insure 17 your – 7:00 bakery... PM
n Performance even Hall it’s high
1-800-966-9172
nd cash bar open androscogginbank.com
whisk. at 6:00 PM
onsor:
ment
1:30
A celebration
of St. Jean de
Baptiste Day!
luded. Bar available for other beverages.
ne is Monday, June 20 at noon.
nt. Tickets will not be sold at the door.
club for French speakers
am in Heritage Kinley Hall
day mornings: June 9;
ncontre, July 7, July 21, etc.
Out ‘n About at
eritage Hall
the Franco
nts!
Center
DJs.
For Robert Dubac’s one-man
performance of “The Male
Intellect: An Oxymoron”
he 23 rd season at our
rts and Events Center,
erfront in Lewiston.
info coming soon.
: (207) 689-2000
For The
Crowd
• facebook.com/FrancoCenter
MEDIA SPONSORS
carry you to a
new place.
Take May Your this Seats …
performance
It’s Showtime!
A pumpkin’s favorite sport is squash.
2021-2022 SEASON
Tickets: Piano Series Advance sponsor: – $28 each Ann’s ~ Flower Door – Shop $33 each
(includes fees)
2021-2022 Tuesdays and Wednesdays
SEASON
Take May Your this Seats …
performance
It’s Showtime!
carry you to a
new place.
La Rencontre Lunch and Entertainment
Sponsor:
Piano Series:
Season Opener
Matthew
Graybil
Friday, Nov. 4 at 7 p.m.
Tickets $20. No charge for students.
Thursday, June 23 in Heritage Hall
Doors open at 9:30 AM ~ 10:00 AM social time ~ Lunch 11:30
Entertainment after lunch by Don & Cindy Roy
46 Cedar Street, Lewiston
www.FrancoCenter.org
Box Office 207-689-2000
Box Office Hours 10 a.m.-1 p.m.
Friday, June 17 – 7:00 PM
in Performance Hall
1-800-966-9172
Doors and Thursday cash bar open at androscogginbank.com 7 at p.m. 6:00 PM
Doors and cash bar open at 6 p.m.
Show sponsor:
Advance Tickets: $15 • Door Day of Show: $20
Magic of the
Steelgraves
A celebration
of St. Jean de
Baptiste Day!
Lunch menu: Chicken pot pie, coleslaw and whoopie pie. Coffee & tea included. Bar available for other beverages.
A family-friendly show will amaze guests with baffling
Advanced tickets only. Deadline is Monday, June 20 at noon.
$15 ~ includes magic meal and entertainment. illusion, juggling, Tickets will upbeat not sold music, at the clean door. comedy,
and plenty of good-natured audience participation.
A conversational French club for French speakers
will be held Saturday, 10:30am Nov. in Heritage 12 at Hall 2 p.m.
on alternating
Doors
Thursday
open an
mornings:
hour before
June
the show.
9;
Advance Tickets: Adults $15, Children $10
June 23 ~ join us for La Rencontre, July 7, July 21, etc.
Door Day of Show: Adults $20, Children $15
Starting July 14 – Thursday Night Live in Heritage Hall
Alternating dance and karaoke events!
Entertainment will feature live music and DJs.
For The
Crowd
Check our calendar
Join us for the 23 rd season at our
Runnin’ Down A Dream
at francocenter.org to find out Performing Arts and Events Center,
on
Tom
the Riverfront
Petty Tribute
in Lewiston.
Band
what’s going on at the Franco.
Saturday, More info Nov. coming 19 soon. at 7 p.m.
Doors and cash bar open at 6 p.m.
Order tickets: FrancoCenter.org or call: Advance (207) Tickets: 689-2000 $30
Show 46 sponsor: Cedar Street, Androscoggin Lewiston, ME Bank 04240 • FrancoCenter.org Door • facebook.com/FrancoCenter
Day of Show: $35
Underwriter
UNDERWRITER
Media Sponsors
MEDIA SPONSORS
Comedy Show sponsor:
Robert Dubac
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
12 Nov. 2022 783-7039
Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes:
small, large, circle, square, thin crust, thick crust, stuffed crust, extra toppings...

I just watched a fascinating documentary on Netfix about repairing tennis courts.
Higher
Education
Submitted by Steve Simard
A college physics professor
was explaining
a particularly complicated
concept to his
class when a pre-med
student interrupted
him.
“Why do we have to
learn this stuff?” the
frustrated student
blurted out.
“To save lives,” the
professor responded
before continuing the
lecture.
A few minutes later
the student spoke up
again.
“So explain this to
me... how does physics
save lives?”
The professor stared
at the student for about
30 seconds, took a
deep breath, and said,
“Physics saves lives,
because it keeps the
idiots out of medical
school.”
The Chapman House has private rooms available for residents,
aged 65 and older, who need assistance with bathing,
medications, and meals.
We provide a warm and
comfortable home for our residents
41 Pleasant Street, Auburn • 207-783-0961
Stop, drop, and pass the rolls!
Bonnie Iwans
I found a recipe for
Moroccan dinner rolls
that I wanted to try. It
called for fresh thyme
but mine was outdated.
I figured I’d use it
anyway. It worked real
well. It turns out I love
that “Old thyme Moroccan
roll.”
Uncle Andy’s Digest
Nov. 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
13

Last Minute
Logic
Submitted by Thomas Hill
You know you overdid it on Thanksgiving when you
thought the serving size of a turkey was for one.
It’s the day before
Thanksgiving, and the
butcher is just locking
up when a man begins
pounding on the front
door.
“Please let me in,”
says the man desperately.
“I forgot to buy a
turkey, and my wife will
kill me if I don’t come
home with one.”
“Okay,” says the butcher.
“Let me see what I
have left.”
The butcher goes into
the freezer and discovers
that there’s one
last scrawny turkey
left. He brings it out to
show the man.
“That’s one is too skinny.
What else have you
got?” asks the man.
The butcher takes
the bird back into the
freezer and waits a few
minutes and brings the
same turkey back out
to the man.
“Oh, no,” says the
man, “That one doesn’t
look any better. You’d
better give me both of
them!”
I just joined a heavy metal band. I’m the lead singer.
Out ‘n About at WIGY Radio
Hey Mark,
maybe you and
Sara (Poulin) should
give some thought to
having a third Breakfast
Club host. Radio
is a ruff job, but I
can handle it!
Maybe
someday I’ll be
able to read the
radio segment sweeping
the Twin Cities...
FAMOUS PEOPLE
BIRTHDAYS!
Mark Turcotte with Lydia
Pam Ashby with Lydia
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
14 Nov. 2022 783-7039
I just confessed to my wife that I was already married. That was bigamy.

I was offered the part of the scarecrow in the production of
The Wizard of Oz at our local theater. It was a no brainer.
Come be the Difference in Someone’s Life!
NOW HIRING CNAs and DSPs
Are you a compassionate individual who enjoys working
with people in their home and in the community?
Join our team of caring professionals!
Out ‘n About at
Side by Each
Brewing Co.
No pint
glasses? No problem!
This horn will
work just fine!
Apply online at jfmh.org
or visit us at 800 Center St, Auburn
John F. Murphy Homes, Inc. is an Equal Opportunity Employer and complies with all
local, state, and federal guidelines in its employment practices & services provided.
Ben Albee
I’m going to
hold my Digest right
here so it doesn’t fall
on my head!
Thanksgiving is the only holiday where you eat the mascot.
207-782-2135
Take Out
Available!
Looks good doesn’t it?
Steak wrap with peppers, onions, mushrooms, & cheese!
Auburn Mall
Tues. - Wed., 11am - 7pm • Thurs. - Sat. 11am - 8pm • Sun. 11am - 5pm
DAILY SPECIALS
MONDAY - CLOSED
TUESDAY
Fried Pickle Basket
Thatcher’s Burger
25oz domestic drafts
WEDNESDAY
3 Beef Tacos
Thatcher’s Burrito
Well Margaritas • Coronas
SATURDAY
2 Hot Dogs w/fries
Miller Lite Bottles
THURSDAY
Stuffed Peppers
Buffalo Chicken Salad
Microbrews
FRIDAY
Clam Cake Basket
Fish & Chips
SUNDAY
12" Cheese Pizza
Bloody Mary’s
Domestic Light/Lite Drafts
Teddy Carson
If it does, you
only have yourshelf
to blame.
Alex Carson
My friends tell me that cooking is easy, but it’s not easier than not cooking.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
Nov. 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
15

Out ‘n About at
Taste the Harvest
I’m looking to find trades for my son who just graduated from college.
I’d like to swap him for a good set of golf clubs.
Taste
the Harvest
is an annual
community dinner
that highlights
and promotes our
local food economy,
from farm to table.
This year, there were
multiple tapas-style
dishes in a six-chef
collaborative dining
experience
complete with a
beer and wine
garden.
THE AMERICAN LEGION
FAMILY
RED SHIRT FRIDAYS: Wear your red shirt on Fridays
and get a surprise!
“SEE YOU AT THE POST!”
Members & Guests Welcome!
AMERICAN LEGION ACT
Veterans who were honorably discharged
but whose service did not fall into previously
defined war eras may now join
the American Legion immediately. The
eligibility now spans from Dec. 7, 1941,
until a time when the U.S. is no longer at
war, as determined by Congress.
RED SHIRT FRIDAYS: Wear your red shirt on
Fridays and get a surprise! “SEE YOU AT THE POST!”
For Veteran or Community services, call
207-782-1118 or 207-873-3229
Hall Rentals Available
Call for more
information
207-782-1118
71 South Main St, Auburn • 207-782-1118
HOURS: Mon: 12-8p • Tue-Wed: 12-6 • Thurs: 12-9p
Fri & Sat: 12-11p • Sunday: 11a-6p
MUSIC, KARAOKE & DANCE w/ JEAN LOUIS, FRIDAYS 7-11pm in November
Jerry Joe - November 4th & 18th • 4:30 - 6:30pm
ROBERT WASHINGTON, ELVIS TRIBUTE ARTIST
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 5TH • 7:30-9:30PM
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 11 TH • VETERANS DAY CELEBRATION
Chili cookoff, starting at 11am. No charge to attend.
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 12 TH • BEEF STEW DINNER, 4-6PM
w/salad & croissant (support our Auxiliary), $12
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 14 TH , 5:30PM
Sons of the American Legion Post 153 General Meeting
MONTHLY MEETING EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE 6:30PM
WEDNESDAY, NOV. 16 TH GENERAL MEETING, 7PM
Legion members attending have a chance to win $100, $50, or $25.
BREAKFAST BUFFET • SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 20 TH , 8-10AM
Scrambled eggs, sausage, gravy, bacon, baked beans, fried potatoes, crépes,
toast/creton w/coffee and juice • Adults: $10 • Kids under 10: $5.00
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 24 TH • HAPPY THANKSGIVING
Canteen opens at 3pm
LIVE MUSIC: THE SMITH COLLABORATION
SATURDAY, DECEMBER 3 RD • 8-11PM
I just saw a chicken cross the road. It was poultry in motion.
Shanna Cox &
Meredith Carson
LA Metro Chamber
of Commerce
Out ‘n About at Taste the Harvest
This was
such a great
community event and
a huge treat for
LA’s foodies!
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
16
Melissa Dunn
& Aleks
Diamond-Stanic
Jimbo
Nov. 2022 783-7039
Emma Desjardins, Erin Bellemare, Jaclyn Berry, Matthew Shaw,
Natalie Pollock, & Josh Pollock
I was asked for my opinions on attempting to cross breed a lion and a tiger.
I have mixed felines about it.

I shot my first Thanksgiving turkey this year. It scared the rest of the grocery shoppers!
The Right
Coverage at the
Right Price.
Copyright ©2022 NFP. All Rights Reserved.
Discover insurance solutions from local industry experts
dedicated to protecting your assets. From risk consulting
to claims support, we’ve got you covered.
John Blanchette, Sales Advisor | 207.784.9358
john.blanchette@nfp.com
For your business.
For your people.
For your life.
NFP.com
We’ve moved. Visit our new NFP office:
681 Sabattus St | Lewiston, ME 04240
Out ‘n About at Sturdy Hardware
Night Driving
Submitted by Tyla Davis
An elderly man was
driving erratically one
night around 2:00am.
A cop noticed him and
pulled him over.
The cop tapped on
the old man’s window
and said, “Hey there,
where are you headed
this late?”
“Well, sir,” said the
old man, “I’m heading
to a lecture about the
dangers of alcohol
use, smoking, and
late-night driving.”
“Really?” inquired the
police officer. “Who
would be giving a lecture
this late at night?”
“That would be my
wife.”
New Math
Submitted by Steve Simard
Jeff, Katie, Ashton, & Tyler Sturtevant
We have your hunting gear & supplies!
Visit our Sturdy Sporting Goods Department
We are a tagging station!
186 Sabattus Road, Sabattus, ME • (207) 375-6253
2 Miles Off I-95 Exit 86 Family Owned & Operated
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Stephanie, Steve, &
Tyla were talking one
day at the office about
math homework that
kids have.
“I can’t handle that
new math,” said Steve.
“It makes no sense to
me how the kids figure
out these problems
anymore.”
“Me either,” said
Stephanie. “I like the
way we all learned
when were in school.”
“That makes four of
us,” nodded Tyla.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
Nov. 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
17

Now
Hiring
CAREER OPPORTUNITIES
Out ‘n About at
Taste the Harvest
If you left
this event hungry,
it was your own
fault!
Elise Johansen &
Joe Philippon
This was
a fun opportunity
for local restaurants
to show off their
signature
dishes!
Shivam Kumar
Mother India
24 Hour
Service
235 N. River Road, Auburn
207-777-5600
www.pro-techrefrigeration.com
protechoffice11@yahoo.com
Fully Insured
Dedicated Logistics Partner
Now Hiring Non CDL Drivers
26' Box Truck or Larger
2+ Years Experience
Lewiston, Maine Location
TO APPLY:
Call or email
959.222.9595
hiring@dlp31.com
PRO-TECH REFRIGERATION
IS GROWING!
We are seeking
EXPERIENCED
SERVICE
TECHNICIANS
& INSTALLERS
to join our team!
Air Conditioning & Heating
Proudly serving Auburn, Lewiston,
and the surrounding communities!
Om
nom nom!
Out ‘n About at Sturdy Hardware
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
18
Tu Biederman &
Abbe Ramanan
Jimbo
Nov. 2022 783-7039
Pete Dumond Steve Marks Aaron Wright
Every novel is a mystery novel if you never finish it.

CAREER OPPORTUNITIES
COME JOIN OUR TEAM!
You’ll be glad you did!
We’re hiring Direct Support Professionals
Now
Hiring
Out ‘n About at
Taste the Harvest
Supporting
local restaurants
AND I don’t have to
cook or do dishes?
Everyone wins!
To apply:
or 207-783-2726 x202
Out ’n About at Side by Each Brewing celebrating
brewmaster Willis Croninger’s last day
Sherri & Mark
Turcotte
Employee
Issues
Submitted by Tyla Davis
Two business owners
were out to dinner one
evening. They were
talking about struggles
with some of their
employees.
“I can’t seem to get
my team to show up
for work on time,” said
one business owner.
“Do you have the
same problem?”
THANK YOU FOR THE BREWS, WILLIS!
Front: Abigail Bowie, Willis Croninger, Lilly Meehan, & Cara Duchette
Back: Ben Low, Ben Albee, & Ryan Michaud.
Is trying to diet just wishful shrinking?
“I used to. But now I
have 29 parking spots
that are free and the
30th spot is a paid
spot. That solved all of
the tardiness!”
Uncle Andy’s Digest
Nov. 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
19

Out ‘n About at
Sturdy Hardware
I just joined a Carpenters club. We haven’t made anything yet. We’ve only just begun.
We are
proud to be
a family-owned
hardware store!
Sturdy Hardware
offers everything
you’ll ever need for
your home or garden
projects! We also
offer a new sporting
goods section for our
outdoor enthusiasts!
Come check us out
to receive expert
knowledge and
customer service
from a family
that cares!
WELCOME TO THE LA METRO CHAMBER
NEW MEMBERS!
Wayfinder Schools
WayfinderSchools.org
ReMo
get.ReMo.app
PM Construction Co.
PMConstruction.com
415 LISBON STREET, LEWISTON • LAMETROCHAMBER.COM
With great power, comes great electricity bills.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
20
Katie & Jeff
Sturtevant
I could
never work in a
hardware store. If
I had to screw around
with bolts all day I
would be nuts.
Anita & Mark
Austin
Jimbo
Nov. 2022 783-7039
Out ‘n About at Pat’s Pizza
Members of the
Pat’s Pizza
Dream Team:
Front Row:
Brooke Reynolds &
Britney Jones
Back Row:
Mike Gagne,
Kathy Hammond, &
Maddie Madigan
My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

I heard they’re opening up a new restaurant in the Tower of Pisa,
but they’re only going to serve Lean Cuisines.
Just good cookin’ and plenty of it!
We make an
Egg-cellent pair!
Time to place your orders
for pies & platters
for the holiday season!
Out ‘n About at
Rolly’s Diner
Don’t
go bacon
my heart!
I couldn’t
if I fried.
Linwood &
Maureen Gilbert
Out ‘n About at
American Legion
Post 153
Bruce & Camella Rousseau
87 Mill Street, New Auburn
207-753-0171
rollysnewauburn.com
Monday-Saturday: 6a-2p • Closed Sunday
Grauntie,
I’ll take that off
your hands. I need
to be ready to tell
some of these jokes
as soon as I can
talk!
Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.
WELDING ACADEMY
Learn a new trade! This high-demand field includes jobs
in Aerospace, Automotive, Manufacturing, Agriculture
and Construction industries as well as jobs in the rapidly
growing renewable energy sector. The course covers a
variety of welding techniques, including MIG and TIG
welding, industry-standard weld joints, print reading,
basic metallurgy, sheet metal forming, tube welding, and
grinding and polishing.
FREE
TRAINING
Dolor Smith &
Amy St. Hilaire
American
Legion Post 153 is a
groovy place to
throw a party!
GRANT
FUNDING
PROVIDED BY:
WWW.CMCC.EDU/WORKFORCEDEVELOPMENT
workforcedevelopment@cmcc.edu • 207-755-5280
Notice of Non-discrimination: Central Maine Community College is an equal opportunity/affirmative action institution and employer.
For more information, please visit contact Human Resources at humanresources@cmcc.edu.
Fun Fact – Gary Numan is 13 days older than Gary Oldman.
Greg & Nycole
Nadeau
Uncle Andy’s Digest
Nov. 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
21

Out ‘n About at
Sturdy Hardware
Sturdy is
a great place to
shop for all your
pet needs too! They
have all the best
food, toys, and accessories!
Squeakers
for days!
I’ve opened a deer cloning service. It’s for anyone hoping to make a quick buck.
Check out our in-store Weekly Ad for our 2022 specials!
Roy’s
Beanie
Babies
on Sale
Here!
FOODLAND
Chicken Salad, Best in Town & Ham Salad
Ask about our finger roll
sandwich platters!
Try our hamburger, it’s the best!
SATURDAY
Beans, bread/rolls &
cole slaw
$11.99
WEDNESDAY
Ham, Veggie, Salami,
or Pepperoni Italians
$2.99
PIZZA PACKS
Pizza
Packs
$12.99
70 Broad Street, Auburn • 207-783-8471
www.ShopAtRoysFoodland.com
Mon.-Thurs. 8am-6pm • Fri. 8am-7pm • Sat. 8am-6pm • Sun. Closed
Abby
Out ‘n About at Pat’s Pizza
You can’t
have my toy! Go buy
your own!
Samson “Sammy”
My dad
always brings up
drills and drill bits.
Talk about
boring!
Sadie Morgan, Jacob Richards, Jeffrey & Susan Brown
The Williams Broadcasting Group specializes
in the creative development of both short
format and full length Podcast shows for
radio, television, and the web.
Katie, Tyler, &
Sophia Sturtevant
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
22
Jimbo
Nov. 2022 783-7039
We are the largest producer of full
length podcasts in the country. Shows
like: In The Pits, Bruins Diehards, The
19th Hole, The Liars Club, Animal Chat,
Community, What a Concept, and
Pride Diehards!
(207) 527-2000 | www.williamsbroadcasting.net | john@williamsbroadcasting.net
I just started cataloging all the exhibits of the Natural History Museum.
I have a mammoth tusk ahead of me.

I don’t need to join a gym, I get plenty of exercise
I’m always jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
OXFORD HILLS FAVORITE
PIZZA & SANDWICH SHOP!
Deli Sandwiches • Fresh Dough Pizzas
Breakfast Sandwiches and More!
Voted one of Maine’s Best Pizza Places!
2016 WMTW Facebook Fan poll
POLLY’S VARIETY
115 King Street, Oxford
207-539-8254 • www.pollysvariety.com
November Special
SHREK PIZZA
18” fresh dough with ham, bacon,
grilled chicken, and cheese with a ranch
sauce and crust.
ONLY $ 23 .99 plus tax
Expires 11/30/22
Monday - Tuesday: 5:30am - 7:00pm • Wednesday - Saturday: 5:30am - 8:00pm • Sunday: 6:00am - 7:00pm
DID YOU
KNOW?
Abraham Lincoln
proclaimed Thanksgiving
a national holiday
on October 3, 1863.
Sarah Josepha Hale,
the woman who wrote
“Mary Had A Little
Lamb,” convinced
Lincoln to make
Thanksgiving a national
holiday after writing
letters for 17 years.
Out ‘n About at
Sturdy Hardware
A place the whole family will LOVE!
LA’s One & Only True Hibachi Experience!
Make your
reservation
now!
Dan Pragana II
40 East Avenue, Lewiston • 207-795-6888 • www.sea40me.com
Eligible for Medicare?
CALL US TODAY
to see which Medicare health plan best fits your needs.
Did you
know that you
can even rent equipment
like tractors,
trailers, cement mixers,
and wood chippers
from Sturdy
Hardware?
30+
Years of
Experience!
Visit us at 184 Webster Street, Lewiston
I just read Stephen King’s IT. Worst book on computers ever.
Keith Davis
Uncle Andy’s Digest
Nov. 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
23

Match of the
Century
Submitted by Tyla Davis
My sheep just passed away. I’ve been working on his Ewelogy.
The wrestling match
between Bruiser the
Bully and the Ivan the
Intimidator was the
match of the century.
The arena was packed
and everyone was
expecting Bruiser to
wipe the floor with The
Intimidator.
The crowd was
stunned in silence
when Bruiser got hit
from behind with a
chair and passed out
cold. Ivan the Intimidator
took advantage
of the situation and
pinned Bruiser the Bully
and won the match.
RoySnow.com
207.782.3734
Serving Maine since 1947
11 Library Ave.
Auburn
November Drink Special
After both men got
cleaned up and returned
to their dressing
rooms, a reporter
approached Bruiser
the Bully to ask a few
questions.
“What happened out
there tonight, Bruiser?”
asked the reporter.
“You were expected to
win this match easily.”
“I don’t understand it
at all. I won the match
during the rehearsal.”
The sound from a musician
on stage bounces
off the auditorium
walls to surround the
audience.
The sound from a
pigeon on stage does
not do this.
The reason is a coo
sticks.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
24
Jimbo
Nov. 2022 783-7039
47 Broad Street, Auburn
www.firehouseauburn.com
207-376-4959
Monday - Saturday 11a-9p
You’ll Love
our Daily
Specials!
$
8
BURGER MONDAY Get $2 off your burgers! (dine-in only) • WHISKEY WEDNESDAY $1 off whiskey
Small Office Suites for Lease Month to Month
$350 Gross/Month • 124 Lisbon Street, Lewiston
Private Entrance on Park St. Alley, Steps from Parking
Perfect for Small Startup, Counselors, etc.
Maine Realty Advisors
FRANK CARR
Your real estate investment advisor
Brokering your buying & selling needs
207.252.4881 • Frank@MaineRealtyAdvisors.com
I think I’ll put Cardi B on today. Cardi A is in the wash.

The police department’s volleyball team just beat us in a match.
I guess they do know how to protect and serve after all.
Out ‘n About at
Sturdy Hardware
Every
time I walk down
the gadget aisle here,
the stud finders go
berserk.
Whenever there’s an outage, your KOHLER generator keeps
your internet on, your fridge cold and your family protected.
• Generator Sales and Installations
• Residential and Small Commercial Electrical Service
Over 50 years of Trusted Professionalism
“MY GENERATOR IS MAGIC.
WE NEVER LOSE POWER.”
- ALEX L., KOHLER ® generator owner
1033 Sabattus Street, Lewiston • www.debloiselectric.com
207-783-6512
Snap, Crackle and Pop were found dead. Police think it was the work of a cereal killer.
Mark Duquette
When a
painter gets really
cold, they just put on
another coat.
Out ‘n About at Pat’s Pizza
Only a
weird-dough
doesn’t like
pizza!
Nathan Robert
Angela Sproul &
Hannah Pendexter w/Teddy
Kevin Hodgkin &
Sylvia Schrock
I quit my job at the garden center. There is no fuchsia in it.
Ashton Sturtevant
Uncle Andy’s Digest
Nov. 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
25

Out ‘n About at
Pat’s Pizza
Pat’s Pizza
has been proudly
serving LA since
1985! I’m a lucky guy
to have a great team
of coworkers
here!
Please, I don’t want to hear any more unemployment jokes, they just don’t work!
THE CHAMPOUX GROUP
CHAMPOUX • PEOPLES • PINKHAM • ROGERS
I N S U R A N C E
...Your Security is Our Concern!
Locally Owned & Operated
Home
Auto
Business
and more!
Christine & Dave
Bishop
Owners
Let Us Insure All Your Outdoor Toys!
150 East Ave. Lewiston 207-783-2246 • 888-983-2246
A tiny mother is better known as a minimum.
Out ‘n About at Pat’s Pizza
Marcia Gavett
Pat’s has way
more than just pizza.
We have everything from
salads, to sandwiches, to
full entrees. Plus our full
bar and restaurant make
it an LA hotspot!
Dana Cobb &
Melissa Bubier
I love
working at
Pat’s Pizza so
much, that I even
dream about it in
my sleep! If you’re
looking for a job,
go check out Pat’s
today! They’re
hiring!
Bryce
Strout
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
26 Nov. 2022 783-7039
Not to brag or anything but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

My wife gives sound advice: 99% sound 1% advice.
Join us for Thanksgiving Dinner
Serving our traditional
full course holiday menu!
Plus a limited menu
Book your holiday
reservations and parties
now!
Open 11am - 6pm
Open Wednesday - Sunday • villageinnmaine.com • 165 High Street, Auburn
Prison Work
Submitted by Steve Simard
A woman visits her
husband in prison. Before
leaving, she tells a
correction officer, “You
shouldn’t make my
husband work like that.
He’s exhausted!”
The officer laughs and
says, “Are you kidding?
He just eats and sleeps
and stays in his cell!”
The wife replies: “Not
true! He just told me
he’s been digging a
tunnel for months!”
If it hadn’t been for the invention of venetian blinds, it would have been curtains for all of us.
Ron Larravee
Son of Marcel, last customer at Marcel’s
Barber Shop (photo taken by Bill Martin)
WE’VE MOVED!
Look for Tina & Ernie at
ALL ABOUT
YOU SALON
41 Broad Street, Auburn
783-3444
We value our customers & look
forward to continue to serve you
at our new location.
207-783-0000783-0000
corporateintelligenceinc.comtelligenceinc.com
Not trying to make any waves, but in my opinion Dove chocolate tastes much better than their soap.
•Brewery•taproom•Café•Pinky D’s Food truck•Coffee by Design•
Out ‘n About at
Pat’s Pizza
Visit our Facebook page for events & beer menu!
1110 MINOT AVE., AUBURN 207.689.3030
/SIDEBYEACHBREWING
WWW.SIDEBYEACHBREWING.COM
Tracey
Richardson
I can uncannily predict sports scores. I have ESPN.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
Nov. 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
27

BUSINESS
SP TLIGHT
Richard Moylan
(207) 777-0050
791 Kittyhawk Ave. Unit 5, Auburn
richardmoylan@allstate.com
Insurance and coverages subject to terms.
qualifications and availability. Allstate Property
and Casualty Insurance Company, Allstate Fire and
Casualty Insurance Company: Northbrook, Illinois
© 2010 Allstate Insurance Company
Fishing Trip
Submitted by Thomas Hill
Two city slickers go
on a fishing trip. They
rent all the equipment:
the reels, the rods, the
wading suits, the rowboat,
the car, and even
a cabin in the woods.
They spend a fortune.
207.577.6484
528 Lincoln Street
Lewiston
Eat
pizza, not
turkey!
207-782-7141
GIVING
THANKS!
207-782-7141
The first day they go
fishing, but they don’t
catch anything. The
same thing happens
on the second day,
and on the third day. It
goes on like this until
finally, on the last day
of their holiday, one of
the men catches a fish.
As they’re driving
home, they’re really
depressed.
One guy turns to the
other and says, “Do
you realize that this one
lousy fish we caught
cost us $1,500!”
The other guy says
“Wow! It’s a good thing
we didn’t catch any
more!”
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
28
Jimbo
Nov. 2022 783-7039
Out ‘n About at Pat’s Pizza
I only put a
few toppings on my
pizza because there
wasn’t mushroom.
The first rule of Mime Club: Don’t talk about Mime Club.
Todd,
Christina,
& Sienna
Chifelli

Old age comes at an extremely bad time. When you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.
HATS
MUGS
Exercise your Patriotic Right and
T
H
A
N
K
Y
O
U
V
E
T
E
R
A
N
S
Call us for a
quote TODAY!
Basketball,
Hockey, Skiing
Order your
school spirit
wear today!
Employee gift
ideas, specialty
items, & more!
Quality
Products
Reasonable
Pricing
205 Washington St.
South, Auburn
207-784-4184
H
A
P
P
Y
T
H
A
N
K
S
G
I
V
I
N
G
coastaltshirts.com
PENS
BAGS
OUTSIDE
is the New Inside
Open Thurs.-Sun. 10a-5p
CALL OF THE WILD
RV CENTER
848 Main Street, Oxford
207-539-4410
www.callofthewildrv.com
Shuga Shak Country Store
Accounting
& Tax
Service You
Can Trust!
Ask about
our gift
baskets!
Maple Baked Beans
every Saturday!
Wine • Local Products
Honey • Pickles • Jams
Candies • Crafts...
and much more!
450 Pigeon Hill Road
(Rte 26), Mechanic Falls
207-576-7886
MICHAEL G. SPAULDING, P.A.
Certified Public Accountant
Tax Planning & Preparation
for Individuals and Business
207.782.1040 • PO Box 895, Auburn, ME 04212
mspaulding.androstax@outlook.com
Poisson & Sons Auto Care
260 S. Main Street, Auburn 207.782.9144
FULL SERVICE GAS STATION
IT’S TIME TO PREPARE YOUR VEHICLE
FOR WINTER CONDITIONS!
November 2022
Stickers are due!
11 12 1
10 MOTOR VEHICLE 2
9
8
22
7
0215697
6
23
5
3
4
“I” before “E” except when your foreign neighbor Keith received eight counterfeit
beige sleighs from feisty caffeinated weightlifters.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
Nov. 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
29

I do 12 sit-ups every morning. It may not sound like much,
but there’s a limit on the times you can hit a snooze button.
HEALTH & FITNESS
VIAGRA and CIALIS USERS! 50 Generic Pills SPECIAL $99.00.
100% guaranteed. 24/7 CALL NOW! 888-445-5928 Hablamos
Español
Dental insurance - Physicians Mutual Insurance Company. Covers
350 procedures. Real insurance - not a discount plan. Get your free
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Attention oxygen therapy users! Inogen One G4 is capable of full 24/7
oxygen delivery. Only 2.8 pounds. Free info kit. Call 877-929-9587
MISCELLANEOUS
Prepare for power outages today with a GENERAC home standby
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Donate Your Car to Veterans Today! Help and Support our Veterans.
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HughesNet - Finally, super-fast internet no matter where you live.
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visit dorranceinfo.com/ads
Paying top cash for men’s sportwatches! Rolex, Breitling, Omega,
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Put on your TV Ears & hear TV w/unmatched clarity. TV Ears
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DISH TV $64.99 For 190 Channels + $14.95 High Speed Internet.
Free Installation, Smart HD DVR Included, Free Voice Remote.
Some restrictions apply. Promo Expires 1/21/23. 1-866-479-1516
The Generac PWRcell solar plus battery storage system. Save
money, reduce reliance on grid, prepare for outages & power your
home. Full installation services. $0 down financing option. Request
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warranty. Top-of-the-line installation and service. Now featuring
our free shower package & $1600 off - limited time! Financing
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Protect your home from pests safely and affordably. Pest, rodent,
termite and mosquito control. Call for a quote or inspection today
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Discount air travel. Call Flight Services for best pricing on domestic
& international flights inside & from the US. Serving United, Delta,
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Prepare for power
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CALL US TODAY
888-490-6616
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
30 Nov. 2022 783-7039
I can’t stand it when people don’t know the difference between your and you’re.
There so stupid!

Nobody wants to listen to Whitesnake with me, so here I go again on my own.
Out ’n About at 290 Maine for the 4th Annual Cornhole
Tournament for Breast Cancer Awareness
Each year, this tournament benefits a different person battling cancer.
This year’s beneficiary was Kim Litchfield, currently battling breast cancer.
Out ‘n About at
Pat’s Pizza
All the
cool kids hang out
at Pat’s!
John Reid &
Karen Sweetser
I was going
to tell a pizza joke,
but it was too
cheesy.
Kevin Morissette
Ron Freve
First Place: Marc Frechette & Steve Blais
Second Place: Pam Ashby & Kevin Morissette
Five ants rented an apartment with five other ants. Now they’re tenants together.
Tony Shaw &
Laurie DeBlois
Uncle Andy’s Digest
Nov. 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
31

CALL THE PROS
From relaxation to pain management... We’ve got you covered!
Office, Restaurant, & Light
Industrial Cleaning Services
Mike Magretto
Veteran Owned & Operated
EmeraldJanitorialServices.com 207-530-8890
REDEMPTION CENTER
Hours: Wednesday - Sunday 9am - 5pm
(closed Mondays, Tuesdays, & Major Holidays)
Located in the
building behind
Dad’s Place
Let’s Talk Turkey!
6 ¢
on all 5¢ returns
with this coupon.
(must present coupon at Redemption
Center prior to counting)
UAD exp. 11.30.22
FULL COLOR DIGITAL PRINTING
Posters • Booklets
Carbonless forms • Envelopes
Business Cards & More!
Happy Holidays!
Digital Gift Cards now available
229 Center Street, Auburn
(207) 402-8654 • www.lamassagemaine.com
RON’S
TRANSMISSION
REPAIR SERVICE
Your Full Service Repair Facility
From our family to yours,
Ron Charpentier, Jr.,
Owner
515 Gardiner Rd. Wales 375-4924
WEBSITES THAT WORK
Design. Build. Brand. Market.
60 Broad Street, Auburn • 207-782-0525 • evergreencustomprinting.com
OFFERING
Residential
Commercial
Clean Outs
Roll Offs
844-ME-TRASH
844-638-7274
The only thing we don’t throw away is our customer service!
SERVING
Oxford Hills • Lewiston/Auburn• McFalls/Minot/Poland
Bridgton/Denmark • Raymond/Naples
9 Marston St. Norway, Ste.3 • TiceWasteManagement.com
www.MaineWeb.co
Unlimited Wash Combos
Combo #2
24 .95
$
24 per
Combo #3
includes:
.95
month
.95
$ 29 .95
per month
exterior wash,
underbody, &
poly sealant
includes: exterior
wash, underbody,
rust inhibitor, wheel
brite, tire shine, &
wax
7 Lincoln St. Lewiston
207.782.4009 • YvonsCarWash.com
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
32 Nov. 2022 783-7039
Being They’re a good called parent heated is seats knowing because how to the unwrap term “rear a Kit Kat defroster” without was making already any taken. noise.

CALL THE PROS
Radiator Work - It’s What We Do!
We continue to grow due
to excellent customers
and their referrals.
Sincere thanks to all.
Lincoln Street
RADIATOR SHOP
Family owned & operated since 1967
Happy
Veterans Day
to all who served
& happy
Thanksgiving!
And a lot more!
207-784-9356
1522 Lisbon Street, Lewiston Monday-Friday: 8a-5p
Coach Terry’s
REDEMPTION CENTER
The friendly redemption center
8 Tidswell Road Turner
207-225-2008
Open daily 8am to 4pm
Hunting Season Starts at
Fine Line Gun Shop
GUNS • AMMO • SUPPLIES
Huge
selection of
hunting rifles
Serving those who serve
SERVING our THOSE community
WHO SERVE OUR COMMUNITY
Andy Valley
Insurance & Retirement
finelinegun@aol.com
Call
for your
FREE QUOTE
Today!
(207) 998-2374
590 Plains Rd., Poland
Your Vision.
Our Expertise.
Kitchens, Baths,
Decks, & More!
Andy Valley Insurance & Retirement
(207) 783-3660
https://agents.horacemann.com/AVIR Auto | Home | Life | Retirement
AM-C04353 (Sep. 21)
horacemann.com
909 Minot Ave, Auburn | 207-783-3660 | https://agents.horacemann.com/AVIR
207-212-7791
www.vghomeimprovements.com
SCUBA!
A perfect
Christmas gift
for the whole
family!
805 Main Street, Lewiston
784-7300
skindiversparadise.com
Great
Holiday
Ideas!
• Cashews
• Almonds
• Spanish
• Blanch
• Redskins
• Mixed Nuts
• Pistachios
• Needhams
• Lindt Truffles
• Candy Bars
• Merckens Melts
• & MORE!
557 Lincoln Rd, Lewiston • 207-783-1731 • BobsPeanuts.com
Tues, Wed, Thurs 9a-5p; Fri 9a-3p (By appointment only 12-1)
When you dream in color, it’s a pigment of your imagination.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
Nov. 2022 UncleAndys.com
...with
Jimbo
33

Out ‘n About at
Pat’s Pizza
I watched a documentary on beavers. It was the best dam show I ever saw.
Laura Murphy,
Claire Murphy,
Leanne Weston,
& “Saint” Paul
Gagne
I’ll share
my heart with you
forever... just don’t
ask me to share my
fries!
Bryan & Julie
St. Hilaire
Wish Kid
Abby
My favorite
restaurant and my
favorite magazine...
what a combo!
Uncle Andy’s Digest is a proud supporter
of Make-A-Wish Maine.
Stan Hawes
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
34 Nov. 2022 783-7039
Consider becoming a sponsor of our
9th Annual Summer Block Party.
Visit www.LASummerBlockParty.com or call 207-783-7039
The guy at the furniture store told me my new couch could seat five people with
no problems. I don’t think I know five people with no problems.

My doctor told me lower my sodium intake. I took his advice with a grain of salt.
BEER. WINE. SPIRITS
Six Locations, Wholesale & Redemption
AUBURN
301 Main Street, Auburn | 783.9098
545 Minot Ave, Auburn | 783.2047
LEWISTON
OXFORD
980 Main Street, Oxford |539.6072
A TIME TO BE
THANKFUL
&
KEEP YOUR BEER CLOSE
BUT YOUR LOVED
ONES CLOSER
R o o p e r s B e v e r a g e . c o m
Home Support
Physical, Speech, &
Occupational Therapy
Physical, speech, and
occupational therapy services.
Care & Comfort in your own home or our office.
368 Minot Avenue, Suite 3, Auburn
Phone: 207-333-5022 • Fax: 207-333-5089
Cell: 207-513-2279 • Email: davispt2019@icloud.com
I don’t trust trees, they seem kind of shady.

YOUR VEHICLE WILL LOVE YOU FOR IT!
Pricing
RUST PROTECTION
Heavy duty pickup ...... $159.95
Full size van .......... $159.95
2 door pickup . ......... $149.95
X-large SUV . .......... $159.95
3 & 4 door pickup ....... $159.95
Any car .............. $139.95
Mini van ............. $149.95
Sm., Med., or Lg. SUV ... $149.95
It’s NEVER too late to
rustproof your vehicle!
Plus applicable taxes
23 Lisbon St., Lisbon/Lewiston line • theshopclassicrestorations.com • 207-353-6100
the ULTIMATE in RUST PROTECTION
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with
Jimbo
RMS has joined the Guild Mortgage family
We are stronger together
Debbie Bodwell
NMLS# 280336
Debbie.Bodwell@guildmortgage.net
181 Center Street, Auburn, ME 04210
207.754.3962
I am authorized to do business in the states of Maine, North Carolina, South Carolina and Virginia. (www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org)
Guild Mortgage Company; NMLS #3274; Equal Housing Opportunity; www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org.
It is not happy people that are thankful; it is thankful people that are happy.
MONDAY
Ham Italians
Sm $2.29 Lg. $3.99
WEDNESDAY
Chicken Salad
Sm $2.99 Lg. $4.99
FRIDAY
Tuna Italian
Sm $2.99 Lg. $4.99
SUNDAY
$2.00 OFF
Any large pizza
MAIN STREET MARKET
2 Main Street, Sabattus • 207-375-8502
We are
thankful
for our
customers!
Hours: 6am - 8pm • Seven days a week
TUESDAY
Small 1-topping Pizza
10" pizza $4.99
THURSDAY
Bowl of Chili
$5.99
B.L.T.
Sm. $2.99
Lg. $4.99
SATURDAY
Baked Beans
Pint $3.99 Quart $4.99
Full beans ’n franks meal $9.49
Breakfast Sandwiches $2.99
Hash browns 2/$2.59
Coffee all sizes $0.99
We accept cash, checks,
major credit/debit cards, & EBT
36 Nov. 2022 783-7039 UncleAndysDigest.com