Island Parent Magazine Aug-Sept 2022

AUG/SEPT 2022 

FREE COPY 

Vancouver Island’s Parenting Resource for 34 Years 

Why I Quit 

Being My 

Child’s Valet 

Inside: 

GRAND 

A Special Feature 

for Grandparents 

Homework 

Whose 

Responsibility 

Is It, Anyway?

September 

3, 4 & 5 

2022 

P lant 

Your Roots 

at the Fair! 

The 154th Saanich Fair is back in full swing 

September 3, 4 and 5 at the Saanich Fair Grounds! 

MIDWAY, 4-H, CONCESSIONS AND MUCH, MUCH MORE! 

saanichfair.ca 

2 Island Parent Magazine IslandParent.ca

IslandParent.ca 

August/September 2022 3

AUG/SEPT 2022 

FREE COPY 

Vancouver Island’s Parenting Resource for 34 Years 

TABLEOFCONTENTS 

10 

15 Time- (& Tear) Saving 

Back-to-School Hacks 

KELLY MCQUILLAN 

Features 

18 

Normalizing the Bad 

& the Ugly of Divorce 

JEANNE PETIT-HUMPHRIES 

30 

The Struggle to Stay Whole 

JULIE MAIS 

32 

Emergency Supplies 

to Have On-Hand 

KIM FOURNIER 

34 

(RV) Camping with 

Twins Plus One 

NATASHA MILLS 

40 

Consent from the Start 

KATE NASH 

42 

Older Motherhood 

FRANCESCA SCALA 

In Every 

Issue 

5 

Fast Forward 

SUE FAST 

6 

Need to Know 

15 

Moms’ POV 

SARAH SEITZ 

12 

Whose Responsibility 

Is It Anyway? 

DR. ALLISON REES 

16 

Horsing Around 

LINDSAY COULTER 

GRAND 



22 

So You Want to Be 

a Grandparent? 

SUSAN GNUCCI 

24 

The Magic of Small 

RACHEL DUNSTAN MULLER 

26 

The Importance of 

Building Community 

EMMA EATON 

28 

Gifts for Nature-loving 

Grandkids 

LINDSAY COULTER 

20 

Dadspeak 

JESSE BLAINE 

35 

Preschool & Child Care Directory 

36 

Kids’ Reads 

CHRISTINE VAN STARKENBURG 

37 

Businesses You 

Need to Know 

38 

Family Calendar 

44 

What’s for Dinner 

EMILLIE PARRISH 

46 

Cut It Out! 

ALLISON REES 

On the 

Cover 

Photo by 

Liz Bourassa 

Spruce & Sparrow 

Photography 

spruceandsparrow.com 

Inside: 

GRAND 



Why I Quit 

Being My 

Child’s Valet 

Homework 

Whose 

Responsibility 

Is It, Anyway? 

Jim Schneider Publisher publisher@islandparent.ca 

Sue Fast Editor editor@islandparent.ca 

Kristine Wickheim Account Manager kristine@islandparent.ca 

RaeLeigh Buchanan Account Manager raeleigh@islandparent.ca 

Island Parent Magazine, published by Island Parent Group Enterprises Ltd., is a 

bimonthly publication that honours and supports parents by providing information on 

resources and businesses for Vancouver Island families. Views expressed are not 

necessarily those of the publisher. No material herein may be reproduced without 

the permission of the publisher. Island Parent is distributed free in selected areas. 

Annual mail subscriptions (7 issues) are available for $21 (GST included). 

Canadian Publication Mail Product Sales Agreement 40051398. ISSN 0838-5505. 

Island Parent Magazine 

250-388-6905 islandparent.ca 

518 Caselton Place, Victoria, BC V8Z 7Y5 

A proud member of 

BC 


FASTFORWARD 

7 Ways to Start Off On 

the Right Foot this Fall 

Just when you’ve found your summer groove—staying up late and 

then sleeping in the next morning, stretching out in the shade midday 

with a good book, eating watermelon and French fries for dinner, 

running barefoot through the grass—it’s time to start thinking about the 

change of seasons and back-to-school. With fall just around the corner, 

now’s the time to enjoy what’s left of summer while getting ready for the 

start of a new season. To help ease the shift from the lazy days of summer 

to the picked-up pace of fall, here are some ideas and suggestions 

designed to help get your family off to a great start: 

1. Try something you’ve never tried before. Or do something you’ve 

wanted to do this summer but haven’t had a chance to do yet. Always 

wanted to go caving? Go now! Curious about the view from Malahat Skywalk’s 

250-metre high lookout? Why not take a look?! Is swimming with 

the salmon on your summer-to-do list? Dive in! 

2. Go camping. Celebrate the summer with a camping trip to one of 

the Island’s spectacular provincial campsites. Stay up late and stargaze. 

There’s nothing like seeing the stars from outside city limits. Make a 

back-to-school wish on the first star you see! 

3. Set up a study area, a fun one! Pile comfy cushions to make a 

reading corner—favourite books within reach. Decorate! Hang a solarsystem 

mobile, framed artwork, maps and/or a whiteboard. Be deskready. 

Have a good chair to support sitting for awhile and a small desk. Let 

kids decorate their desk with washi tape or colourful accessories. 

4. Shop for school supplies—label everything!—and fill a back-toschool 

backpack. Sure there’s the standard school-issued list of have-tohaves, 

but let kids get creative and add a few personal touches: a crazy 

new pencil case, maybe, or a fun new lunch bag. Or host a supply swap 

and share any surplus supplies. 

5. Reconnect with classmates. Throw a pizza party in the park. Or a 

neighbourhood barbecue. Walk the route to school with kids who will be 

walking the same route. Organize a walking or riding “school bus” and 

make plans for the first day back. 

6. Set up a family organization station where notices, permission 

slips, paperwork and school-related correspondence get dropped at the 

end of the school day. Take a few minutes to enter any important dates in 

the calendar or fill out any required forms. 

7. Set aside some time—walking home from school, at dinnertime, 

before bed—to really check in and find out how your child’s day went. 

Replace the question “how was your day?” with “what was the best thing 

that happened at school today?” 

Here’s to all of the good days ahead and getting off to a great start! 

– Sue Fast 



NEEDTOKNOW 

Jumpstart 

The Capital Regional District (CRD) 

and Canadian Tire Jumpstart Charities 

(Jumpstart) are proud to announce the 

grand opening of a Jumpstart Inclusive 

Multi Sport Court at the Panorama 

Recreation Centre, designed to accommodate 

physical, cognitive and sensory 

play for kids of all abilities. Through 

collaboration with Jumpstart and local 

Canadian Tire Dealers Grant Wood, 

Justin Young, Kim Reynhoudt, Mark 

Barsanti and Robert Heenan, local kids 

of all abilities can participate in sport 

and play side-by-side, fostering a stronger, 

more inclusive and healthier community. 

For more information, 

visit jumpstart.canadiantire.ca. 

Multilingual 

Books Online 

Lars speaks Ukrainian, a bilingual picture 

book for Ukrainian children, is now online for 

free. Also, a bilingual edition of Little Polar 

Bear—Where are you going, Lars? in English 

and Ukrainian, is available as a digital book 

for free at northsouth.com/books/little-polarbear-bilibri-eng-ukrainian. 

NorthSouth Books 

has been offering bilingual picture books in 

collaboration with Edition bi:libri since 2019. 

Great for early second-language learners, the 

bestselling titles The Rainbow Fish and Little 

Polar Bear feature complete texts in English 

paired with Spanish, Japanese, Korean, 

Chinese, Russian, German, French, Arabic, 

Vietnamese and Italian. The English-Ukrainian 

Little Polar Bear version is the newest 

addition to this series and a response to the 

devastating war in the Ukraine. 


Learn a new sport or refine 

your skills: come join our 

rock climbing teams! 

Electric 

Buses 

Every school day 110,000 kids 

across BC ride the school bus. 

The time those kids spend on 

the bus—and the distance they 

travel—adds up. In all, BC school 

buses travel roughly 33 million 

kilometres every year. Switching 

from diesel to electric will make 

those journeys healthier—for our 

kids and the planet. The good 

news is some BC students are 

already riding electric buses. In 

May 2021, Sooke School District 

on Vancouver Island became 

the first to run an electric school 

bus. As of December 2021, 18 

electric school buses were running 

in 13 school districts—that’s 

1,300 students benefitting from 

this cleaner, greener transportation. 

Now we need more electric 

school buses, in all of our 64 

school districts. To learn more, 

visit forourkids.ca/our_electric_ 

school_bus_campaign_bc. 

Registration 

for recreational 

and competitive 

teams open now. 

All levels 

welcome! 

Ages 6–18. 

Details and registration at climbtheboulders.com 

The Boulders Climbing Gym 

1627 Stelly’s Cross Road | Saanichton, BC | 250.544.0310 



BOOK BASH! 

Book Bash! challenges readers of all ages to set a reading 

target and obtain pledges from friends and family 

for every 100 pages they read from August 1-31. Set a 

reading target, pick a theme (or not) and challenge others 

to match or exceed their target. Winners will receive 

a gift bag containing books, gift certificates and other 

items donated by supporting merchants. Prize winners 

will be drawn from those who send their collected 

pledges to the Victoria Literacy Connection by September 

30. Proceeds will be used to support the VLC’s 

free literacy programs for children, youth and adults in 

Greater Victoria. To register and download a reading 

log visit bookbash.victorialiteracyconnection.ca. 

Flavour Trails 

The North Saanich Flavour Trail Festival is back with 

some of the best culinary and cultural experiences the 

region has to offer. Explore the map and hit the trail 

to learn about local food, wine, beer, distillers, farm 

markets, cafes and more. Presented by the District of 

North Saanich, CRFAIR, the Good Food Network and 

Destination Greater Victoria. On Saturday, August 

27 and Sunday, August 28, the festival culminates 

in a celebration weekend with more than 20 venues 

hosting activities ranging from farm gate tastings to 

winery and orchard tours, from sheep shearing demonstrations 

to scarecrow making. To learn more and 

explore the vendors and regional map, visit 

flavourtrails.com. 

Youth Bike Skills Park 

The new Tripp Station Youth Bike Skills Park in Saanich is 

open. Now mountain bike and BMX riders of all levels can 

develop and practice riding skills in a structured, safe and 

managed environment. Features include an asphalt pump 

track, dirt jumps and a skills trail. The park is adjacent to the 

Lochside Trail and easily accessible by bike. Additional improvements 

include a gravel pathway from the main entrance 

of the park off Lochside Drive adjacent to the Lochside Regional 

Trail connecting to Borden Street, park furniture, bike 

racks, a drinking fountain, signs and a portable toilet. 


Ride the 

Cyclone 

Don’t miss the homecoming of Victoria’s own 

home-grown musical sensation Ride the Cyclone 

by Jacob Richmond and Brooke Maxwell from 

August 2–14. Chosen by the NY Times as one of 

the Top 10 productions of 2016, Victoria audiences 

will have the opportunity to cheer the success of this 

work that has taken Vancouver, Toronto, New York, 

Chicago, Seattle, Atlanta and Minneapolis by storm. 

First Tuesday and Wednesday prices are 55% lower 

than the regular ticket price. 

bluebridgetheatre.ca 

TICKETS: CAPITALCITYCOMICCON.CA 

SET YOUR FACES 

TO 

STUNNED 

TO STUNNED 

SEPT 

23 - 25 


PROUDLY PRESENTED BY: 



LEARN 

15 Time- (& Tear!) Saving 

Back-to-School Hacks 

As surely as the seasons cycle, September means back-toschool. 

The abrupt change from long, care-free days of 

summer holidays to rigid schedules, bag lunches and homework 

can be stressful. Here are some suggestions to help make 

this transition—and the school year—more positive for kids 

and parents. 

School Supplies 

1. Reuse, Reuse, Reuse—It is shocking how many barelyused 

or new school supplies end up in school dumpsters 

in June. Make sure your kids bring everything home, sort 

through it together and reuse what is salvageable. It will save 

you money in the long-term. Bonus, it helps kids learn to take 

care of their stuff. 

2. Label, Label, Label—When I was in elementary school, 

one of my August rituals was to label my supplies. I still have 

pencil crayons from 30 (cough cough) years ago. In busy 

classrooms things fall on the ground or are misplaced all the 

time, but at end-of-day cleanup, kids with labelled supplies 

usually get them back. 

Clothing 

5. “New” is So Passé—Thank goodness “thrifting” has 

become a cool thing to do. You’ll save dollars, help local 

charities and keep clothes out of the landfill. 

6. Label, Label, Label some more!—Before holidays, 

school classes participate in a slow procession through the 

halls: the “Viewing of the Lost.” So. Many. Things. You’d 

think children would recognize their possessions. Nope. Most 

end up being sent to the thrift store. Unless, of course, they 

are clearly labelled. 

Feeding Bodies and Minds: 

7. Plan Ahead—Two words: meal planning. It saves money, 

time and the daily stress of “What’s for dinner?” When my 

3. Quality Over Cool—Trendy gizmos come and go (and 

often break shortly after purchase). Better to stock up on 

quality-but-plainer supplies on sale and let your kiddos personalize 

them. 

4. Dole it Out Sparingly—Fact: classrooms are crowded 

places with minimal storage. Only send your child with what 

they need to start and send more as necessary. Less will go 

missing into The Void. 


step-kids were school-age we sat down as a family every Sunday 

for 15 minutes and planned out the week’s meals. The 

kids loved having input and it made shopping super easy. You 

can do this for lunches, too! 

8. Beat the Lunch-Time Blues—Depending on their age, 

many kids can make their own lunches. If you’re afraid that 

these lunches might consist of last year’s Halloween candy 

or dry slices of white bread, set some guidelines (ex. one 

item from each food group) and make sure there are healthy 

choices on hand. 

9. Bulk vs Snack Size—Individually portioned snacks for 

kids are marketed as a time-saving godsend, however, they are 

expensive and create piles of garbage (that, in turn, decorates 

school playgrounds). Small re-usable containers or snack 

pouches can be filled from a bulk or family-sized box, saving 

money and packaging. 

Keeping Everyone Happy 

10. Family Calendar—Invest in a BIG family calendar and 

keep it in a central location. This helps with planning, logistics 

and also shifts the family knowledge-keeping burden from 

one person (ahem, Mom) to everyone. 

11. Less is More—When adults spread ourselves too thin 

we get tired, cranky, overwhelmed, etc. Kids can feel the same 

way. Instead of doing all the activities, choose one or two per 

season. Life won’t be as hectic and everyone benefits from 

breathing space (especially in September!) 

12. Foster a Growth Mindset—Instead of focusing on 

grades, encourage your child to reflect on their own learning. 

What can they do more confidently than they did before? 

What makes learning easier for them? How can they extend 

themselves? If a child is stuck on “I can’t,” try using psychologist 

Carol Dweck’s technique of tacking on a “yet”: “I can’t 

YET.” 

13. Sleep Hygiene Saves Sanity—Schedules and sleep 

get out of whack during summer. That first week of grumpy 

tumbles out of bed and grumpier after-school restraint collapse 

might be more manageable if you start easing back into 

a bedtime/wake-up routine a couple of weeks beforehand. A 

good night’s sleep makes everything easier. For everyone. 

Communication is Key 

14. Teacher = Partner—Many parents wait for official conferences 

or when a problem arises to meet their child’s teacher, 

but a friendly intro during the first week (even via email) is a 

great idea. Establishing a positive connection early on leads to 

clearer communication and helps everyone to remember that 

we are all on the same team, your child’s. 

15. Lecturing Isn’t Listening—Parents are problem-solvers 

and behaviour tutors, but sometimes our kids don’t need us 

to offer advice or constructive criticism. Sometimes they just 

need to be heard and accepted, no matter what. September is 

a doozy of a month with so much change and new expectations. 

You might have to adjust your own expectations a little, 

at least for the first couple of weeks. Kids adapt quickly, and 

knowing that they have your unconditional love and support 

makes all the difference. 

Kelly McQuillan is a writer, musician, teacher 

and fledgling mother living in Comox. 

kellymcquillanwriter.weebly.com and 

kellymcquillan.com. 



LEARN 

Whose Responsibility 

Is It, Anyway?! 

How to help with homework—without going overboard 

It’s important to make sure our children grow up loving 

to learn rather than being anxious about performance or 

hooked on doing everything perfectly. Studies show that extrinsic 

motivation (rewards such as grades or money) has the 

capacity to destroy intrinsic motivation—or enjoying a task 

because it’s interesting. 

Making learning a duty, and attaching rewards and punishments 

to it, takes away a child’s natural excitement about 

accomplishment. Love of learning is lifelong; love of grades 

sometimes gets in the way. 

For many kids, school learning is a source of anxiety and obligation 

rather than fun and rewarding. To help counter these 

feelings, let your children know you have confidence in their 

ability to learn and to do the work, and that you believe it’s 

important that they have a personal and social life outside of 

schoolwork. Let them know that you believe their grades aren’t 

as important as enjoying their work and feeling they are accomplishing 

something. Don’t offer rewards for “A”s or “B”s, 

as this only encourages kids to focus on the grades rather than 

on the learning. 

What to do: 

1. Help your children organize their study habits to cope 

with new challenges. Discuss a regular time and place to do 

their work and teach them (if the school hasn’t done so) to 

make a list of assignments and their due dates. Help them figure 

out how long each assignment will take, and which tasks 

they need to do first. It’s best to avoid monitoring your kids 

constantly, lecturing them or, of course, doing their work for 

them. 

2. Let your children organize their schoolwork so that they 

feel comfortable with it. Different children study in different 

ways. Some need silence; some need music. Some need regular 

short breaks, others work for a long time and don’t like interruptions. 

Allow your children to study in the way which works 

best for them. Discourage kids from staying up past their bed- 


time to do schoolwork. Best to start homework early enough to 

get it done and have some relaxation time. If there’s too much 

work for the time available, you may need to intervene with 

the teachers as they may not be aware of the problem unless an 

adult lets them know. When children are teens, leave it up to 

them. 

3. Stay positive. Children are already aware of what they 

can’t do. Give specific, encouraging feedback. Be careful not 

to take their accomplishments away from them by saying how 

proud you are. This is their responsibility; they can be proud 

for themselves. 

4. Observe and support without smothering. Children can 

interpret too much attention as a lack of confidence in their 

abilities. Standing over them reinforces a belief that they aren’t 

capable. Remind them of what they do well. 

5. Avoid letting yourself get impatient or angry. Step away 

and take a breath. Many parents find tutoring their own children 

to be extremely difficult because they are too close. 

6. Watch your expectations. Do you perform your daily tasks 

consistently from day to day? Children are as susceptible to 

exhaustion from the daily grind as we are. Watch for signs of 

being tired, over-excited, recovering from illness, allergies, etc. 

and make allowances. The pressure of working for someone 

who expects optimum performance at all times would be unbearable! 

7. Determine how long your child can sit and do homework. 

Allow for regular breaks. 

As children mature, step back and let them learn, sometimes 

through failure. Best they learn these lessons while the lessons 

are cheap. Don’t underestimate the value of natural consequences. 

If your kids don’t study, they may fail a test. If they 

forget to do their homework, they might feel embarrassed or 

upset. Avoid saying, “I told you so” or trying to teach a lesson. 

Natural consequences work best when you step back and simply 

offer understanding. While taking over the problem might 

come easy to you, it does nothing to support your child. 

Like the rest of our children’s responsibilities, we teach, we 

support and then we pull back. This doesn’t mean we don’t 

care, just that we know what effective support really looks like. 

Dr. Allison Rees is a parent educator, counsellor 

and coach at LIFE Seminars (Living in Families 

Effectively), lifeseminars.com. 

ON NOW 

GET TICKETS AT 

imaxvictoria.com 



MOM’SPOV 

Why I Quit Being 

My Child’s Valet 

I 

listened to a podcast a few months ago that changed the 

way I approach parenting. The interview was with Lenore 

Skenazy who wrote an article in the New York Times titled 

“Why I let my 9-year-old ride the subway alone.” Her writing, 

along with her book Free-Range Kids, started what people now 

refer to as the “Anti-Helicopter” parent movement. 

The interview highlighted the many ways that my mothering 

had actually prevented my kids from developing the life skills 

they need to be confident, independent and resilient. I wasn’t 

doing anything wrong per say—I was just doing too much. 

Up until that point, I had driven my kids to school every day 

even though we live six blocks away, a simple 10-minute walk. 

I carried my youngest son’s backpack from the car to the lineup 

where I waited with other parents until the teacher came to 

collect our kids. I’m reluctant to admit that in that backpack 

was the lunch I had made, the water bottle I had filled and the 

library books that were due. 

My son, on the other hand, had done nothing that morning 

except get dressed, eat breakfast and supposedly brushed his 

teeth. 

But I wasn’t alone. On the short drive to school, I never saw 

kids walking or biking on their own. 

This was not the norm when I was growing up. I left the 

house alone every morning, walked to the bus stop and rode 

the school bus to school. Other than half-day kindergarten, 

I can’t remember a time when my parents dropped me off at 

school, let alone walked me into the classroom. 

What is referred to nowadays as “free-range” was the norm 

for most of us who were born before 1985. 

I’ve always felt nostalgic for my independent childhood and 

the freedom I had. This feeling combined with Lenore Skenazy’s 

insights into our new normal left me curious about why 

I did so much for my own kids. 

I wasn’t fearful of them being alone outside of the house 

because I don’t share in the belief that there are more “bad 

people” in the world today. So, if I could get myself to school 

safely on my own as a child, why couldn’t my own kids? 


Mangosteen Giftboxes 

“The job of a parent is to work themselves out 

of a job.” – Holly Gates 

It’s easy to assume that kids can’t do anything safely or successfully 

on their own today. Parenting experts, magazine articles 

and advertisers are telling parents how to plan the perfect 

play date, how to keep our kids safe from strangers and how to 

sticker-chart our way to success. Childhood anxiety seems to 

be more and more prevalent and while there are many factors 

that contribute to these complex emotions, it’s worth asking if 

empowerment of our kids could lead to greater confidence and 

resilience. 

After the success of her article, Ms. Skenazy and others went 

on to create a non-profit organization called LetGrow. Their 

mission is to give parents, educators and communities the tools 

and confidence to step back so kids can step up. Their website 

is full of articles, workbooks and other free resources to support 

their mission of helping parents and kids. 

The message of LetGrow resonated with me, so I started letting 

go. 

I began with little things, such as making lunches but not 

filling the water bottles because my son was seven and capable 

of filling a cup with water and ice. (This seems so ludicrous to 

me now.) 

I stopped reminding my kids about library day and if they 

forgot, the natural consequence was that they didn’t get to 

bring home a new book. Eventually we graduated to my 

10-year-old and my 7-year-old walking to and from school 

every day. I cancelled the Valet service my kids had grown accustomed 

to. 

These changes brought new challenges. The seven-year-old 

walked “annoyingly slow” according to his older sister. The 

rain was wet. Rocks were found in shoes. But they weren’t 

lured into a white van by a creepy degenerate with candy and 

they didn’t get lost or hit by a car. 

This small act of walking to school allowed them to learn 

time-management, to use discretion and caution appropriately 

and to have some freedom. My children now go to two different 

schools and get themselves there and back every day. It’s 

not perfect. I still make their lunches, but we’re working on it. 

We do things for our children because we love them and 

want them to have great lives. You wouldn’t be reading this article 

if you weren’t the engaged and loving parent that you are. 

I believe that the most loving thing we can do for our kids 

today is to step back a little and trust that they have the ability 

to do certain things safely on their own. 

A collection for Moms and Babies 

Soft long sleeved onesie, multi use bib cloth and delightful 

book for newborns by acclaimed Inuit singer Celina Kulluk and 

illustrated by Alexandria Neonakis. Lavender citrus bathsalts, 

tea and pine scented tin candle are welcome treats for moms. 

Packed in wooden baltic box with sliding lid. 

www.mangosteengiftboxes.com 

Sarah Seitz is a working mother, wife and 

writer. She spends her free time cutting off 

crusts and uses good coffee and humour to get 

through the day. 



LEARN 

Horsing Around 

Getting to know horses on the Island 

Horses have a lot to teach us. 

When people think of horses, horseback riding is the 

sole activity which comes to mind. It’s often limited to 

the pony rides at the local fair, riding lessons or a trail ride on 

vacation. Many don’t realize horse experiences come in many 

forms and we host a diversity right here on the Island. 

There are activities that need zero horse experience, can be 

in or out of the saddle, hands-on or not, one-on-one or in a 

group, some are free, and many acknowledge horses as therapy 

animals. Many programs are inclusive, accessible and traumainformed. 

Did you know horses can read human emotions? 

Riding is a small part of horsemanship but not the whole 

story. The full scope includes caring for horses, handling them 

safely, training, learning about their instincts, behaviour and 

communication. Horsemanship is relevant to all disciplines (for 

example, English or Western) and important for beginners to 

advanced and age doesn’t matter. 

Here are a few unique horse experiences worth looking into: 

Humble Hooves 

What: Tam and Jason Merkens celebrate the human and 

horse connection at their horse rescue farm. With a team of 

volunteers, a herd of eight, and a focus beyond riding, they see 

the possibilities that can develop from transformative relationships. 

“Our programs foster an environment of learning by 

utilizing horses as teachers, mentors and healers.” 

Programs: They offer Equine-Assisted Learning and equineassisted 

wellness sessions. Kids and youth can also enjoy Horse 

Powered reading (horses are the facilitators!) and summer leadership 

camps. Humble Hooves also hosts private events—kid’s 

birthday parties or corporate events—and can customize a program 

for your group. 

Where: Cobble Hill, BC 

Learn more: humblehooves.ca 

Heart Lake Farm (HLF) 

What: Founders/Directors Jess and Scott Lake created a 

home to equine-assisted services showcasing learning with 

horses and therapy with horses. There is no riding, and you 

won’t miss a thing! 

Where: Saanichton, BC 

Programs: HLF offers Equine-Assisted Learning (EAL) led by 

trained facilitators. It’s an experiential learning program teaching 

essential life skills including communication, teamwork and 

leadership through group activities with horses. It’s possible to 

take a multi-week series or a one-day workshop. 

HLF also works with mental health professionals. Sessions 

may be one-on-one or in small groups. One example of a small 

group program at HLF is an Indigenous Focusing-Oriented 

Therapy (IFOT)-informed group, and the Life Review program 

created at the UBC Centre for Group Counselling and Trauma 

(adapted to include horse work). Partnership examples include 

the Victoria Brain Injury Society (VBIS), WSÁNEC First Nations 

and Camosun College. Contact HLF if you represent a 

school, social service, or charitable organization interested 

providing unique learning experiences with horses. Group programs 

are funded and free. 

Learn more: heartlakefarm.ca 

Cowichan Therapeutic Riding Association 

(CTRA) 

What: Cowichan Therapeutic Riding Association is a registered 

non-profit organization offering a range of therapeutic 

riding and equine-based wellness programs. CTRA serves as a 

hub of inclusion and catalyst for human potential, enriching the 

lives of countless individuals and supporting key social determinants 

of health in our community. 

Where: Duncan, BC 

Programs: They offer therapeutic riding which provides physical, 

mental, and emotional benefits. Participants learn how to 

ride a horse and often have goals to develop mobility, balance, 

muscle tone and core strength. Other side effects include improving 

confidence, independence and social skills. It can be for 

fun or, some work towards competition in para-dressage. They 

also teach inclusive vaulting (aka gymnastics on horseback) and 

horsemanship. 


CTRA is powered by volunteers. Want to get your hands 

dirty in the barn and soak up good horse energy? They need 

folks to help groom horses and be a “side-walker.” Training is 

provided. Not a horsey person but want to support their work? 

Check out the skills needed for their Board of Directors. 

Therapeutic Riding uses horses to help people with various disabilities. 

Participants work with horses to achieve physical and mental 

health, and cognitive, behavioural, social and communication goals. 

Learn more: ctra.ca 

Victoria Therapeutic Riding Association (VTRA) 

What: Victoria Therapeutic Riding Association is a registered 

charity with seven staff, 12 horses and over 250 volunteers. 

VTRA recognizes horseback riding as a therapeutic aid 

and serves more than 200 kids and adults with a diversity of 

equine-assisted activities. Their mission is to build individual 

capacity through human and horse teamwork. 

Programs: VTRA teaches Adaptive or Therapeutic riding 

and Adaptive Driving programs. Driving means using a horsedrawn 

cart. They also host summer camps for kids and youth 

six to 20 years of age, offer affordable workshops (e.g. grooming, 

horse behaviour, horse body language and more) and have 

volunteer opportunities. 

Where: Saanichton, BC 

Learn more: vtra.ca 

Lindsay Coulter is a writer, educator, facilitator, 

naturalist, community catalyst, soul activist, 

mentor and dedicated mother of two. She’s the 

Director of Communications, Culture and Community 

at EPIC Learning Centre, a forest and nature 

school in Victoria. Find her @SaneAction on Instagram 

and Facebook. 

Classes Begin September 6 th 

STAGES 

Performing Arts School 

since 1980 

Come Dance With Us 

• Offering classes for Teens & Pre-Teens in Jazz, 

Ballet, Lyrical, Tap. Musical Theatre, Acrobatics & 

Hip Hop, in a non-competitive atmosphere. 

• Not sure which class to take? 

- Try a Drop-In: No hassle, No Obligation. 

Daytime Pre-School Classes 

for the little angels... 

STAGES Performing Arts School 

#301 1551 Cedar Hill X Rd 

Call 250-384-3267 Email us at: stagesdance@shaw.ca 

Or visit our website: www.stagesdance.com 



PARENTING 

Normalizing the Bad 

& the Ugly of Divorce 

For a lot of people divorce is something to celebrate, an opportunity 

to start over and feel revitalized by the possibility 

of new opportunities. 

Unfortunately, this is not how I felt, quite the opposite in 

fact. When my marriage ended, I felt such profound grief, anger, 

stress and, I admit it, much shame. 

I am not sure if the stigma of being newly divorced was real 

or if I was just particularly self-conscious, but the fact that I became 

a single mom was a difficult adjustment for me. While it 

may be statistically true that over 50 percent of marriages end 

in divorce, I can also affirm that I have felt very alone throughout 

this process, the odd duck, lost in the sea of happy families 

around me. 

To say that my divorce was an atomic bomb in my life would 

be an understatement. Suffice to say that it was rather unexpected, 

at least for me. Until then, I had truly believed that 

despite having some highs and lows, our marriage was solid 

enough and that we were happily raising three extraordinary 

daughters. 

My belief in marriage can most likely be attributed to the 

people around me: my parents have been married for 49 years, 

my twin sister has been with her husband for 27 years already 

(and we are still spring chickens in my humble opinion so this 

number is staggeringly impressive), and even my younger sister 

just celebrated her 14th wedding anniversary. We are believers 

in the institution of marriage. 

This is perhaps in part why the whole “divorced” label has 

been hard for me. I did not want to be in this situation and felt 

such shame that I hid this massive life event from social media 

for years, preferring to let my distant acquaintances infer that 

my loving hubby had mysteriously and quietly disappeared 

from our life rather than change my status and publicly announce 

that I was now a divorcée. Trust me, it is taking a lot of 

courage and counselling to write so openly about the end of my 

marriage. 

At the core, I felt like I had failed my children and, when I 

was feeling particularly raw—and maybe a tad dramatic—that 

somehow, I had ruined their entire lives. I felt guilt, a gutwrenching, 

wake-up-at-night kind of guilt. And whether this 

was founded in reality or not, I felt loss in every aspect of my 

life. 

My kids would never again take part in a family picture 

shoot. They would no longer open presents with two sets of 

doting eyes to watch their every move. I felt like our family 

stories were lost, and our traditions and routines were forever 

changed. It was overwhelming. 

Beyond the fact that I was obviously dealing with massive 

trauma-like emotions, I sometimes wonder if my difficulty in 

adjusting to my new reality may also have been exacerbated by 

a whole host of societal systems that continue to promote the 

venerable institution of marriage, especially in the parenting 

world, and to depict divorce in an unduly superficial way. 

I did a quick Google search of some parenting magazines and 

found the number of articles that talk about divorced parents 

are staggeringly low. So low that one could say that they are 

nonexistent, except for the occasional article about how to coparent 

successfully or the occasional advice column with tips 

on how to find a good lawyer (how one can possibly afford 

said lawyer is rarely addressed). 

And yet, despite this dearth of acknowledgement in the media 

on how hard it can be to navigate divorce, I know that I 

cannot be the only one who has had to grapple with some of 

the challenges that come with being a single-parent. Even filling 

out a registration form for extra-curricular activities has 

become an ordeal for us. Usually there is only one spot for 

contact information/pick-up information, and yet for our kids 

there were suddenly two of everything. 

Weekends and holidays can be particularly difficult. It is not 

easy to see families riding their bikes down the street when you 

are without your children. Sure, it is nice to sleep in a bit and 

have the house stay clean for a bit longer than the nano-second 

it usually takes to mess it up again, but sometimes it almost 

feels like I am childless, a much-too-young empty-nester. Not 

spending Halloween with my kids two years in a row has certainly 

caused me to eat far too many candies on my own. 

The challenges of co-parenting are undoubtedly what I was 

most unprepared for. Like the professional and competent person 

I thought I was pre-divorce, I read all the articles I could 

find expounding the importance of communication, about 


emaining close friends and putting the kids first. The problem 

was that once again, my reality did not come close to this Pollyanna 

version of divorce. 

For me, co-parenting has been near impossible, a way to truly 

become aware of why our marriage failed, and how diametrically 

opposite our values and morals are. This too made me 

feel such shame because I again felt as though I was the only 

one facing the daily hurdles of making co-parenting decisions 

with someone who refused to communicate. I seethed alone as 

I learned to accept that my children were sleeping on the living 

room floor at a “new” friend’s place rather than in the safe 

cocoon of the home I had made. I felt total rage, profound sadness 

and powerlessness when obliged to parent with an ex who 

went from loving me to hating me at Mach speed. 

In my experience, co-parenting can be hell, both on your 

stomach lining and your bank balance, as you navigate a legal 

system that charges $300 an hour to get you through the absurdly 

complex and emotionally taxing divorce process. 

I am now on the other side of the hill. I am in the camp of 

saying that much happiness can come out of a divorce. Finding 

a new supportive and loving partner or seeing my kids relax after 

witnessing years of tension are but a few gifts that my postmarriage 

life has granted. My experience has shown me, too, 

that there can be so much shame and difficulty in navigating a 

world that is still built around the idea of a homogenous family 

unit and that amicable divorces are always possible if one puts 

in enough effort. I am proof that even with the best intentions, 

a divorce can be a source of much conflict and tension. 

Although I am now one of the post-divorce (much) happier 

people, I am still conscious of those around us who may be 

hurt, scared, lost, sad, overwhelmed and alone as they ride the 

newly divorced single-parent roller-coaster and possibly encounter 

similar experiences to mine. Maybe if we were collectively 

more aware of the dark side of divorce, and talked more 

openly about the emotions and very real challenges that divorcés 

face daily, normalized mono-parental families in magazines, 

ads, and shows, we would help them get back on their feet 

faster than if we continue to pretend that everyone is in a great 

marriage with their 2.2 children and picket fence or experiencing 

a joyfully cooperative divorce. 

I, for one, know that a more honest, rounded depiction of 

divorce would have helped me feel less alone and less shame as 

I grappled with my perceived double-failure at being happily 

married and harmoniously divorced. 

Jeanne Petit-Humphries is a mom of three 

children, an educator, a writer AND a divorcée. She 

is learning to embrace all aspects of her life from 

the (mostly) wonderfully good to the (occasionally) 

terribly ugly. 



DADSPEAK 

The ‘Hairdryer Mama’ 

A 

natural holistic approach to parenting. 

At least that was our plan when left Victoria for our 

home in Ucluelet with our brand-new baby girl, Bronwyn, 

and a truck full of her belongings. We had as few unnecessary 

plastics as we could manage. 

Everyone came together to lend a hand to the new and incompetent 

parents. Seriously, everyone was there to help. I’m 

not too sure who introduced a hairdryer to the list of musthaves, 

but somehow it ended up in her pile. 

For the first six weeks the hairdryer served as a tool to dry 

her bum—from a safe distance, of course—after a diaper 

change to stave off diaper rash. Then the hairdryer presented 

a new service. It started to beat out all of my bedtime tricks: 

shushing, rocking and singing. 

The “hairdryer mama” as it was now called had taken its 

place as the second-in-command for bedtimes; first, of course, 

is real Mama, third is Dadda. Sure, it would be nice to put your 

baby to sleep with a calm and reassuring fatherly voice singing 

soft lullabies in a rocking chair, but if you’ve tried that exact 

thing along with everything else and she still won’t sleep…do 

what works, I say. 

Okay, so I might have taken it a little too far with the cordless 

battery-powered hairdryer I ordered online but I don’t 

regret it. Many a cold and stormy night we could have been 

seen wandering the empty streets of Ucluelet, Bronwyn on the 

front under a ski jacket happily sleeping in her carrier, and me 

strolling along with a secret hairdryer hanging out of my back 

pocket for emergencies. Chalk it up to the white noise of the 

fan and the warm rushing air on her face. I’m not even kidding, 

I’ve had her fall asleep in my arms under—yes, from a safe 

distance and way under—the stationary hairdryers in public 

restrooms—she loves them. 

I wish I knew how this story ends, but after 10 months, the 

hairdryer still plays a critical role in bedtime. My partner won’t 

use it on her, preferring a more natural approach. I want to get 

there someday, too, but it’s going to be a bit more of a journey. 

It’s all a new adventure and mistakes are learned from. No 

one ever says to you while you’re holding a newborn: “Careful 

you don’t get lazy and aim a hairdryer at her face to get her to 

sleep or she will develop some sort of hairdryer dependency.” I 

have no useful advice for any parent. Live and learn, and what 

a beautiful journey it is. 

Jesse Blaine is a dad on the west coast. He 

loves his family and his dog. He can’t wait to show 

his daughter everything. He lives in the ocean and 

he works as little as he can. 


Vol. V, Ed. III 

GRAND 

grandmag.ca 

The Importance 

of Building 

Community 

Gifts for 

Nature-Loving 

Grandkids 




GRANDparenting 

So You Want to Be a Grandparent?! 

A no-nonsense job description 

There really ought to be a job description 

for grandparenting so people 

know exactly what they’re getting 

into. Sure, we’ve all been parents, so we’ve 

done this before, right? But I’m here to tell 

you that when you add another 20 or 30 

years, it’s a whole other ball game! 

little grandchildren they so desire? Well, 

I’ve put together the following “job description” 

to shed some light. 

Job Summary: 

Seeking highly motivated individual to 

provide quality babysitting services for 

young child(ren) along with unconditional 

love and a steadfast ally. Responsibilities 

include general supervision, meals, field 

trips, overnights and occasional vacation 

relief. 

Susan Gnucci is a local author and a 

proud “nonna” to two young grandsons. 

She enjoys sharing her experiences as 

a grandparent. 

For one thing, I would bet most parents 

don’t really remember much about those 

early years when their children were 

very young. And it’s no wonder as most of 

them were probably chronically sleep deprived. 

Those years with my own children 

are basically a blur. I remember very little 

other than my own desire to catch some 

sleep whenever and wherever possible. 

And even though we are supposedly older 

and wiser as we age, one’s energy reserves 

unfortunately aren’t what they used to be. 

What was easy to do at age 25 can seem 

pretty daunting at 55! That’s just a simple 

fact of life. 

So what should potential grandparents 

be aware of when contemplating those 

Hours of Work: 

• Varied; including days, evenings and 

weekends. 

• Must be on-call at a moment’s notice. 

• May be asked to cover extended periods 

of time (vacation relief). 

Essential Qualifications (not in 

ranked order): 

The successful candidate must have the 

ability to: 

• Give horsey and piggy back rides 

while a squirming, wriggling toddler 

bounces on your back, simultaneously 

pulling on your ears and ruthlessly kicking 

you in the ribs. 

• Crawl around on your hands and 

knees for extended periods of time on all 

surfaces including (but not limited to) 

carpet, linoleum, tile, gravel, grass and 

sand. 

• Produce a wide variety of voices for 

different characters when telling or reading 

stories (i.e. those for knights, witches, 

wizards, magical beasts, trolls, ogres, etc). 

• Re-read the SAME favourite books 

over and over and over and over and over. 

• Sit through hours of cartoons, children’s 

shows and G-rated movies and pretend 

that you like them. 

• Be an expert at the triage of minor 

cuts, scrapes and splinters (more commonly 

referred to as “owies” or “booboos”), 

displaying an excellent bedside 

manner that will instantly calm/soothe 

any hysterically sobbing child. 


• Make a plethora of sound effects 

including those of animals, weather, vehicles, 

bodily functions, etc. 

• Contort one’s face into endless silly 

expressions in order to get a laugh. 

• Be able to provide nutritious snacks 

that children will not turn their nose up 

at, make a face at, throw on the floor, 

dump out or decorate a younger sibling 

with. 

• Cajole, flatter, exaggerate, bribe or 

otherwise elicit cooperation by any means 

necessary. 

• Draw realistic representations of 

people and objects on command. 

• Possess the artistic ability of shaping 

food into recognizable objects so that it 

will be readily consumed, expertly hiding 

or disguising “healthy” ingredients. 

• Permit all manner of kicking and 

splashing in the bathtub while sea monsters 

are subdued. 

• Provide oodles of cuddles, preferably 

in a big, comfy rocking chair. 

• Be brave enough to check for monsters 

under the bed, in the closet or in any 

hidey-hole as directed. 

• Possess the patience of a saint to follow 

complicated instructions (requiring 

an engineering degree at a minimum) for 

the assembly of most children’s toys. Or, 

alternately, magically put together children’s 

toys with only sparse, incomplete 

or even non-existent instructions. 

• Employ the skills of both an acrobat 

(gracefully dismount from a bed without 

causing the springs to protest) and a cat 

burglar (stealthily creep out of a room) 

when putting a child to bed. 

• Recite dozens of nursery rhymes and 

children’s songs off the top of one’s head. 

• Change a messy diaper while expertly 

distracting the non-cooperative wearer 

who is ceaselessly contorting their body to 

thwart your efforts. 

Experience: 

No degree required or experience necessary—just 

an open heart. 

3045–C Douglas St. 

Victoria, BC 

Make a 

lasting impact 

for amputees 

with a charitable 

estate donation in 

your will. Together, 

we can improve the 

lives of all amputees, 

including traditional 

and modern-day 

veterans, adults 

and children. 

estatedonation@waramps.ca 

waramps.ca • 1 800 465-2677 

The Kiddies Store 

Dedicated to providing Vancouver Island families 

with high-quality infant and toddler products 

at affordable prices for over 40 years 

tjskids.com 

250-386-2229 

Douglas St. 

Finlayson St. 

Larch St. 

T.J.’s 

Thrifty 

Thursdays 

A different 

sale each 

week! 

Now Offering Curb-Side Pickups Hours: Tues–Sat 10am–5pm, Sun 12–5pm 

Entrance off 

Larch St. 



Explore 


If you’ve ever tried to hike with a preschooler, 

you know how quickly objectives 

can diverge. The child wants to 

stop and observe every interesting rock 

or twig along the path—sometimes every 

blade of grass! The time-conscious adult, 

on the other hand, has a destination in 

mind—one that won’t be reached until 

next Thursday at the current speed. 

As a young mother, I was all too often 

the impatient adult in the above scenario. 

I like to think I’m a little wiser now that 

I’m a grandmother, holding my expectations 

loosely, slowing to match the start 

and stop pace of the significantly smaller 

humans in my company. After all, there 

are rich discoveries to be made at this 

level of observation: tiny pink wildflowers, 

lichen with the texture of dragon 

skin, industrious ants going about their 

business—treasures I would have overlooked 

in my haste to get to a particular 

viewpoint. It turns out engrossed grandchildren 

are the ultimate Zen teachers: 

the journey really is the destination. 

Given their acute eyesight and the fact 

that their line of vision is so close to the 

ground, it’s not surprising that young 

children are fascinated by small things 

like insects and leaves. In fact, collecting 

information about the world and how it 

works is one of a preschooler’s primary 

jobs, so it only makes sense that they 

would be riveted by the intricate textures 

and minute details that most adults overlook 

or have come to take for granted. 

Small objects and creatures are the perfect 

subjects for study. Their miniature 

size makes them accessible, allowing 

them to be cupped in small hands, or observed 

at close range from a crouch. 

If you’ve spent any time in a preschooler’s 

company, you’ll know that it’s not 

just small objects from the natural world 

that keep them enthralled. Preschoolers 

are drawn to miniatures of all kinds— 

and that comes with many benefits according 

to social scientists who study and 

work with children. As small humans in 

a big world, playing with tiny animals, 

people, furniture, etc. gives young children 

a sense of control and agency. It allows 

them a safe place to express emotion 

and to act out through play what they’re 

learning and observing around them. Beyond 

the emotional and creative benefits, 

miniature play also builds finger dexterity 

and fine motor skills. 

Of course you don’t need manufactured 

toys to get the benefit of miniature 

play. According to my kindergartenteacher 

daughter, “loose parts” are highly 

valued in early childhood education these 

days. Loose parts refer to small found or 

collected objects like stones, buttons or 

seashells that can be used alone, in collection 

or combined with other materials 

in endless creative ways. Via a child’s 

imagination, an individual stone can 

become an animal or a person, while an 

acorn may be used as an ingredient in 

a tasty make-believe soup. In the same 

child’s hands, a collection of sticks and 

leaves can be transformed into an entire 

miniature village. In many ways small 

natural objects are the perfect toys, costing 

nothing, easily replaceable, while 

encouraging high-level creativity, innovation 

and collaboration. 

One recent weekend morning, my 

two four-year-old granddaughters and I 

slipped on our boots and went outside to 

engage in some miniature play: on this 


occasion, to make a tiny fairy garden. 

I wasn’t sure what we’d find when we 

started looking, but it didn’t take long to 

see that we were surrounded by a wealth 

of suitable materials. Cheerful yellow 

buttercups. Hot pink salmonberry blossoms. 

Tiny snail shells. Bright green fir 

and cedar tips. Uncurling ferns, waxy 

salal leaves and grasses gone to seed. 

Time fell away as we made new discoveries 

and positioned each treasure 

“just so” on the stone step that held our 

tiny garden. Before setting them in their 

proper place, we carefully examined each 

new addition. The closer we looked, the 

more wondrous detail we found. I was 

impressed by my granddaughters’ focus 

as we compared grass seedheads, contemplated 

the geometry of fiddleheads 

and marvelled at the complexity of wildflowers. 

I would happily have spent half 

the day helping them make additions to 

our little tableau, but our playtime was 

interrupted by the call to breakfast. 

The fairy garden wasn’t my first foray 

into miniature play with my grandchildren, 

and it certainly won’t be my last. 

Each tiny seascape at the beach, each 

mini stone village on a riverbank or twig 

house in the roots of a tree, is a new 

creative adventure. And truth be told, I 

think I have as much fun as they do! 

Contiguous to critical protected 

areas, Creekside Rainforest is 15.5 

acres of Salt Spring Island’s coastal 

temperate rainforest and salmonbearing 

Cusheon Creek. You can 

support B.C.’s biological diversity 

today by donating to protect 

Creekside Rainforest and the 

species-at-risk that rely on 

this special ecosystem. 

To make your tax deductible gift today call 

1-877-485-2422 or visit www.conservancy.bc.ca 

IS THIS YOU? 

Celebrating 

25 Years of 

Conservation 

Island Parent is always looking for people who want to tell 

their stories and join our team: publisher@islandparent.ca 

Rachel Dunstan Muller is a children’s author, 

storyteller, podcaster and grandmother. 

You can find her two podcasts Hintertales: 

Stories from the Margins of History and 

Sticks and Stones and Stories through her 

website at racheldunstanmuller.com, or 

wherever you normally get your podcasts. 

Get your kids into 

the beautiful game 

Fall registration for youth soccer is 

now open! Find your nearest club at 

lowerislandsoccer.com 



GRANDparenting 

The Importance of 

Building Community 

Emma Eaton spends her working days at 

the SHOAL Centre, in Sidney BC. The SHOAL 

Centre is operated by a local charity, Beacon 

Community Services. Beacon has been 

delivering social programs to help, empower 

and improve lives within the Greater Victoria 

Region since 1974. For information about 

programs that support seniors to safely live 

independently call 250-656-5537 and ask to 

speak with the coordinator of the Better at 

Home program. 

A 

sense of belonging. As a basic 

principle of human nature, this is 

a feeling we all want to have, no 

matter what age we are. Life often passes 

quicker than we anticipate. Feelings consume 

our lives. The migration to old age 

can be a hard thing to wrap your head 

around and to accept—until you reach 

that point of no return. However, having 

a sense of worth, as well as people who 

support your journey, make this transition 

worthwhile. 

Thanks to the pandemic, modern society’s 

course shifted drastically in the past 

two and half years. Families and friends 

distanced in great numbers, fearful of 

contracting an unpredictable illness. 

This has taken a toll on everyone. For the 

senior population, it manifested in an 

unfortunate loss of basic human interaction...if 

they weren’t already experiencing 

it before. Although we knew the 

importance of “connections,” it wasn’t 

until we were more or less cut off from 

them that we all found out how absolutely 

vital they are. 

However, the knowledge we’ve gained 

from this experience has given us valuable 

insight on how to reach out and 

make sure seniors in our community are 

connected and feeling worthwhile. 

As we age, quality of life can decline 

or become more challenging to manage. 

The support of those around us becomes 

more of a necessity: ironically, to stay 

independent, we may actually need to be 

a bit more dependent in some areas of 

our life. The spirit can’t help but feel a bit 

overwhelmed by the scenario. 


That’s why engagement is so important; 

it’s a kindness to the mind. Community 

is an incredible buffer. Socialization 

and the continuation of relationships 

(old and new!) help to create an overall 

sense of wellness and connection. The 

National Institute on Aging has extensive 

research showing that isolation and loneliness 

are linked to a higher risk of cognitive 

decline and Alzheimer’s disease. 

Maximizing social capital and interactions 

therefore help mobilize a better 

commonality and strengthen a populace. 

Joining a local community centre, volunteering, 

taking part in a fitness class or 

another group activity…these are opportunities 

to make meaningful connections. 

Additionally, such forms of gathering 

provide some “extra eyes and ears” on 

individuals who may not otherwise have 

the means to cope with their current 

situation. Oftentimes, people have lost a 

spouse or live far away from immediate 

family. Contacts that are outside their 

usual scope can be critically important. 

Word of mouth, volunteerism, spending 

time with people in similar situations all 

assist in the endeavour to remain healthy. 

In recognition of the importance of 

healthy aging, community supportive 

programs have been purposefully created. 

In most municipalities, there are 

many resources available. You’ll often 

find a comradery among individuals who 

are working towards making the lives 

of those around them better. As people 

age out of their careers and retire, many 

hunger for something meaningful to fill 

their time. Volunteering has a huge capacity 

for that exact effect: fulfillment. 

The sense of gratification which volunteering 

provides can also help people 

forge a powerful connection to where 

they live. Within a circle of people, it creates 

a network of carrying through and 

doing what needs to be done. Things like 

rides to medical appointments, group 

support programs, grocery shopping 

and help around the house—all have immense 

value to those who are in need and 

likewise to volunteers delivering these 

supportive services. 

These activities help mobilize a greater 

sense of thriving, no matter which side 

of the spectrum you are on. It’s a feeling 

of support around you. The importance 

of building community as you age is 

reflected in better health, well-being, 

security and most importantly the feeling 

that we are being looked after by one 

another. In other words, in a world and 

at a time where isolation is increasingly 

common, getting a good dose of community 

is a prescription for better living and 

positive aging! 

Create a Legacy & 

Let Your Love Live On 

You have the power to make a lasting 

difference and help children and adults with 

disabilities through some of life’s most 

difficult challenges. 

After you've provided for your loved ones, please 

consider a gift in your Will for Easter Seals BC & 

Yukon. No matter the size, every gift helps. 

Please call or email Emma at 604-873-1865 

ext. 423 or eliffen@eastersealsbcy.ca to learn how 

your gift can make a difference. 

Create your legacy now, and change 

lives in years to come. 



Shop 

Gifts for Nature-loving Grandkids 

Did you get “the talk” yet from your child? It’s when they express 

only zero-waste, plastic-free, fair-trade and non-toxic 

gifts are okay for the grandkids! 

Youth today are inheriting a wounded world. And many of 

them know it. You may have also received a lecture from a fiveyear 

old about Nutella and how harvest of the ingredient palm oil 

harms orangutans. 

Childhood deserves celebration. Grandparents play a crucial 

role to support a child to feel known, significant and experience 

a sense of belonging. Don’t underestimate the power and need 

for time with you. Give the gift of experiences with gifts ideas to 

build connection with the living world: 

Pond or tide pool dipping: Visit a local pond, creek or intertidal 

zone. 

Gift: Dip net (buy anywhere that sells fish aquarium supplies) 

and a white tub or bucket (white creates the best contrast to see 

critters). To identify intertidal life, I recommend the one page, 

laminated Marine Life of British Columbia by David S. Young. 

Source it from School House Supplies in downtown Victoria or 

Shaw Centre for the Salish Sea. I also recommend A Field Guide to 

Crabs of the Pacific Northwest by Gregory C. Jensen and A Field Guide 

to Seaweeds of the Pacific Northwest by Dr. Bridgette Clarkson. 

Rockhounding: Beaches are the easiest but interesting geological 

formations are also found inland throughout Vancouver 

Island. 

Gift: A Field Guide to the Identification of Pebbles by Eileen Van der 

Flier Keller. Produced by Harbour Publishing, this is a perfect beginner 

guide for the whole family! A magnifying glass also makes 

a great addition. 

Birding or whale watching: Enjoy local backyard birding or 

take a trip to the park. How lucky are we that whale species like 

Orcas and Greys are spotted from Vancouver Island shorelines or 

the ferry? 

Gift: Binoculars! In my experience children as young as 8 can 

take good care of a decent pair of binos (with help). Don’t buy a 

cheap toy set. They are always disappointing, quick to break and 

end up in the landfill. 

Owl prowl: With parental permission, blow bedtime and go for 

a stroll at dusk. You can stick to the sidewalk along forest edges or 

try it on the next family camping trip. Hint: Owls are quite vocal 

mid-March to May. Do try it in the winter when it’s dark earlier! 

Gift: LED Armband lights from Mountain Equipment Co-op. 

These snap on the ankle or arm and take a watch-sized battery. 

They offer great visibility and durability. 

Snack and story: Cuddle among the trees for some quality time. 

Did you know swinging helps kids regulate emotions and helps 

them focus? They offer many developmental and therapeutic 

benefits, especially for kids with sensory processing disorders. It’s 

also fun! 

Gift: Hammock’s are affordable, long lasting and easy to hang in 

the yard or campsite. 

Gift: Tree swing! There are so many shapes, styles and price 

ranges. Survey the kids in the neighbourhood or notice what style 

is being used the most. I’m partial to the flying saucer style. 

Animal tracking: After a fresh snow or rain, invite a child on 

a hike to search for animal sign like scrapes, rubs, tracks or scat 

(poop). 

Gift: Choose an animal tracking book or identification guide 

local to your area. Did you know deer scat looks like chocolate 

covered raisins compared to elk which are more Hershey kisses 

shaped? (Binoculars and magnifying glass can come in handy on 

these outings.) 

Carving and whittling: Doesn’t everyone try this at some point 

in their childhood? It’s a rite of passage. 

Gift: Vegetable peeler or knife (Mora companion knife is kidsized). 

Depending on their age and skill, start with a vegetable 

peeler. It’s a great low risk way to teach safety skills before graduating 

to a knife. I recommend supervision and safe storage of the 

gift! (Because even a vegetable peeler can remove strips from your 

favourite solid wood dining room chairs.) Find a carving class to 

take together. Or add a book about wood carving for kids. 

Note: Check with a parent before any purchase. Many of these 

items are easily shipped if you live far away. 

Lindsay Coulter is a writer, educator, facilitator, naturalist, 

community catalyst, soul activist, mentor and 

dedicated mother of two. She’s the Director of Communications, 

Culture and Community at EPIC Learning 

Centre, a forest and nature school in Victoria. Find her 

@SaneAction on Instagram and Facebook. 

28 Island Parent Magazine 

IslandParent.ca



PARENTING 

The Struggle to Stay Whole 

Last winter, I went to the Yoko 

Ono exhibit at the Vancouver Art 

Gallery. I went into the exhibit 

expecting to learn about the Beatles, the 

60s and a woman whose story was probably 

overshadowed by the rock star she 

married. But one of the first things that 

struck me in the exhibit was that Ms. 

Ono had brought her 5-year-old daughter 

Kyoko to the “bed-ins for peace.” 

It hadn’t occurred to me that Ms. Ono 

might have been a mother, and a fairly 

new one at that, when she met John Lennon 

and went on a public crusade to create 

art and promote world peace. 

I wondered—like I often do when I 

find out successful women have children—about 

the “shadow life” behind 

the scenes, what isn’t in photographs. 

What are all the pieces the mother is 

frantically balancing behind the scenes? 

Who else is silently stepping in to pick 

up the pieces? Where are the meltdowns, 

the pep talks, the hunts for the lost 

stuffy, the macaroni and cheese orders? 

Was there a nanny whose work didn’t 

make it into the history books? Did 

Kyoko like traveling and being in the 

press? How did this affect her? Was John 

the stepparent she needed? And for Ms. 

Ono, what complicated emotions came 

up when she made choices for her art, 

for her family, for John? What were all 

the things she knew John could not possibly 

understand as she navigated her 

new life in the public eye while being a 

mom? 

As I wandered through the exhibit 

wondering about the layers of motherhood 

that lay behind the videos, the photos 

and the paintings, I remembered my 

grandmother, a watercolour artist, teaching 

me about positive space and negative 

space—the main subject and what lies 

between. I searched for motherhood expecting 

it to be hidden behind the scenes, 

but Ms. Ono had brought it to the forefront. 

She had taken something that is 

often invisible for famous women and 

brought it into the light. As part of the 

exhibit, Ms. Ono invited gallery visitors 

to describe their mothers. They reflected 

on being mothered. Visitors wrote their 

thoughts on post it notes: 

You loved me without question or reservation. 

My mom lost herself to have me. I 

love her. 

My mom is a blanket. Warm, tattered, 

and safe. 

The last one struck me. A blanket is 

a good metaphor for what one wants 

from a mother—to feel embraced with 

warmth and comfort. One does not want 

a mom who is a stormy day, a windy 

hike up Mt Doug or even an invigorating 

sail in the Salish Sea. Mothers are meant 

to be safe, warm places, just like a duvet 

that provides solace before drifting off 

to sleep. And yet, blankets are best when 

they’re broken in, when they are soft 

from wear, when the new smell has been 

replaced with memories of movie watching, 

cuddling and winter nights in front 

of the fire. But are they best tattered? 

As a mother, I feel like parenting is a 

constant battle against getting tattered, 

against losing the essence of who I am 

in the face of making peanut butter 

sandwiches, fighting protests about getting 

pants on, swim class registration 

deadlines and a sore back from all those 

times my daughter says “uppy!” even 

though she can walk perfectly well. It’s 

laughing on the living room floor as we 

take selfies but also resisting the primal 

urge to rest at 3am when my daughter 

yells at me to readjust her blankets. It’s 

wanting to write, or study, or watch 

movies after she’s in bed only to have to 

wash the many dishes we accumulated 

during a food colouring experiment. It’s 

“I love you to the moon!” and “You’re 

my favourite mommy” but also being 

surprised every Monday morning by just 

how relaxing checking my emails over a 

hot cup of coffee can be after a fun-filled 

weekend of swimming and playgrounds 

and buckling and unbuckling my daughter 

in and out of the car seat and driving 

around until she naps at exactly the right 

time. 

Since having my daughter, I often feel 

tattered. Especially first thing when I 

wake up, longing for more sleep, and 

look in the mirror in shock at my puffy 

eyes and ever-expanding wrinkles. But if 

I am warm and safe like a blanket, does 

being tattered matter? At least does it 

matter to 3-year-old? Probably not. But 

it matters to me. 


REGISTER NOW 

FOR FALL CLASSES 

2022/2023 

SEASON 

BEGINS 

September 9 

Classes Offered: 

RAD Ballet, CDTA Tap, Jazz, Modern & 

Acro, Hip Hop, Lyrical, Storybook Ballet, 

Parents & Tots, Kidance and MORE! 

That’s why I came to this exhibit 

alone. That’s why I risk Covid to go to 

the gym. That’s why I try to harness my 

village so I can sit in a coffee shop and 

collect myself. But it’s hard; some tattering 

is inevitable. 

I’m sure Ms. Ono felt this, as relaxed 

as she looked in the photos. 

Perhaps that is why she took her 

daughter out of school to join rock stars 

and live in hotels and promote world 

peace. Maybe that was part her fight 

against tatteredness. Her fight to stay 

whole. 

Perhaps your reprieve comes through 

expensive coffee or YouTube Yoga or 

posting funny videos on TikTok. Maybe 

it’s a big project at work, a phone call 

with an old friend or redecorating the 

nursery. However big or small, it matters. 

At times, motherhood may be the 

primary subject of our lives, but it is not 

the whole picture. The other parts of 

ourselves deserve attention as well. They 

aren’t just the space in between; they 

are our ammunition in the fight to stay 

whole. 

Julie Mais is a policy 

and communications professional 

in Victoria. She looks 

for beauty in the everyday 

through writing, photography 

and the outdoors. She 

lives in a messy, cheesefilled 

home with her husband and preschooler. 

Join the EDC 

Dance Family 

TODAY! 

Register Now! 

ELEVATEDANCECENTRE.CA 

info@elevatedancecentre.ca 

250-532-3453 

✰ 3 Ways To Dance 

(online, private or group lessons) 

✰ Annual or Sessional (9 Week) Classes 

✰ New Classes, Expanded Programs, NEW Studio 

✰ Professional Faculty & Positive Environment 

✰ Beginner through to competitive levels 

✰ Classes for everyone 

✰ And, MUCH more! 

Space is limited. Register TODAY! 

Visit our website to learn more. 

Lakeside Village - View Royal 

REGISTER TODAY 

FOR FALL CLASSES! 

| Music for Life (Babies-5 years) 

| Piano for Beginners (Ages 5-6) 

| BC Fiddle Orchestra (Ages 12-18) 

| ...and so much more! 

DOWNTOWN VICTORIA 

900 Johnson Street | 250.386.5311 

WESTHILLS, LANGFORD 

210 - 1314 Lakepoint Way | 778.265.5355 

vcm.bc.ca/course-calendar 



Healthy Families, Happy Families 

Child, Youth 

& Family 

Public Health 

South Island Health Units 

Esquimalt 250-519-5311 

Gulf Islands 250-539-3099 

(toll-free number for office in Saanichton) 

Peninsula 250-544-2400 

Saanich 250-519-5100 

Saltspring Island 250-538-4880 

Sooke 250-519-3487 

Victoria 250-388-2200 

West Shore 250-519-3490 

Central Island Health Units 

Duncan 250-709-3050 

Ladysmith 250-755-3342 

Lake Cowichan 250-749-6878 

Nanaimo 250-755-3342 

Nanaimo 250-739-5845 

Princess Royal 

Parksville/Qualicum 250-947-8242 

Port Alberni 250-731-1315 

Tofino 250-725-4020 

North Island Health Units 

Campbell River 250-850-2110 

Courtenay 250-331-8520 

Kyuquot Health Ctr 250-332-5289 

‘Namgis Health Ctr 250-974-5522 

Port Hardy 250-902-6071 

islandhealth.ca/our-locations/ 

health-unit-locations 

Changes with BC Medical Services Plan 

premiums mean that families eligible for partial 

payment of some medical services and access 

to some income-based programs now must 

apply for Supplementary Benefits through the 

Government of BC. Applications can be done 

online and take approximately 15 minutes. 

Families who previously qualified for MSP 

Premium Assistance should not need to re-apply 

if taxes are completed yearly. It is advised to 

confirm coverage before proceeding with 

treatment to avoid paying out of pocket. 

For more information, visit gov.bc.ca/gov/ 

content/health/health-drug-coverage/msp/ 

bc-residents/benefits/services-covered-bymsp/supplementary-benefits 

HEALTH 

Emergency Supplies 

to Have On-Hand 

While a grab-and-go bag is important, 

not all disasters will require 

evacuation. You may need to shelter in 

your home without electricity, potable 

water or a working sewage system. Your 

house may sustain damage that requires 

repair, such as broken windows, leaks in 

the roof or build-up of debris. Therefore, 

it is wise to keep supplies in your home 

to support you and your family to live 

in emergency situations for at least three 

weeks: food and water; alternate lighting, 

shelter and heating; and basic home 

repair items. Here are some detailed suggestions. 

Type & Location of Home Kit 

• Portable supplies should be kept near 

an exit, for example, in a coat closet. 

• Use a waterproof or airtight container 

or store supplies in plastic bags within 

one or two easy-to-carry containers (e.g., 

clean trash can on wheels, duffle bag, 

suitcase or backpack). 

• Avoid storing supplies on concrete 

floors that can cause humidity to build 

up and increase corrosion of cans. 

• If you have a camper or trailer, 

consider what emergency supplies you 

already have in it. 

Items for the Home Kit 

• face masks, alcohol-based hand sanitizer 

• several candles, large flashlights 

• first-aid kit 

• additional clothing 

• food, water and cooking supplies (see 

below) 

• generator and additional fuel 

• garden hose for siphoning and fire 

fighting 

• emergency sanitation and toilet 

Items for Home Repairs 

• broom(s) and shovel(s) for removing 

debris 

• tarps, hacksaw, axe, crowbar; 

wrench to shut off gas and water valves 

• sheets of plywood for urgent repairs 

• vapour barrier to cover broken windows, 

seal holes in the exterior walls or 

seal an interior room for warmth 

• hammer, screwdriver, nails and screws 

Items for Sheltering 

• sleeping bags, cots and air mattresses 

• tent or tarp to set up a tent indoors 

or close off a room to maintain body heat 

in one area during cold weather 

• firewood, if you have a wood stove 

or fireplace 

Food 

It is difficult to predict how much food 

you will need for emergencies and how 

difficult it will be to replenish your supply, 

so it is best to stock more than you 

expect to need. To determine the right 

quantity, track your family’s consumption 

for a week and aim for three times 

that amount. Stockpile by buying extra 

items when things come on sale, keeping 

extra food in the cupboards and replacing 

it once consumed. In an emergency, 

limit food intake because healthy people 

can get by with much less food than normal 

if needed. 

Aim for foods that: 

• your family enjoys 

• require a minimum of cooking, preparation, 

fuel, refrigeration and water 

• do not increase thirst 

• accommodate your dietary needs 

• have a long shelf life 

• are high in calories and nutrition 

Suggestions: 

• canned beans, lentils, legumes 

• marinated or canned vegetables 

• canned fruit, soup, pasta, chili 

• quick-cooking dried noodles, rice, 

oatmeal 

• protein bars, dried fruit, nuts, crackers 

• tea, coffee, powdered milk, spices, 

peanut butter 

• dehydrated meals or ready-to-eat 

foods, such as those purchased at camping 

stores 

• comfort foods like candies and gum 

For cooking: 

• Include an alternative cooking source 

in your kit (candle warmer, fondue pot, 

camping stove or charcoal grill). 


• Keep your barbecue tank full and 

have two full propane tanks on hand— 

propane supplies will run out quickly 

during a disaster. 

Cooking supplies to include in your 

kit: 

• manual can opener, utility knife 

• ladle, spoons, forks, knives, bowls, 

plates, cups (collapsible cups and bowls 

are handy) 

• waterproof matches 

• oven mitt 

• collapsible dishwashing container 

(can also be used for personal hygiene) 

• dish detergent, pot scrubber, bleach 

Water 

We cannot live without water! You 

need at least a 7-day supply of water (aim 

for three weeks). For each person, each 

day, international guidelines recommend 

having 2–3 litres of drinking water, 2–6 

litres for personal hygiene and 3–6 litres 

for cooking. 

Individual needs vary and most people 

don’t normally drink as much as the 

guidelines suggest, maybe needing only 

1–2 litres per day. Depending on the 

foods you include in your kit, you may 

need only 1–2 litres per person each day 

for cooking and the same for personal 

hygiene. This adds up to a total of 3–6 litres 

per person, per day, including what’s 

needed for drinking. 

Monitor your family’s water consumption 

during a few days at home to make 

your own estimate. 

If Something Goes Wrong 

Disasters are unpredictable, but if you 

take the steps outlined here to prepare 

your home, your immediate needs will 

be taken care of, and you will be able to 

focus on keeping everyone safe. 

Kim Fournier, CD, MA, 

is a disaster and emergency 

management specialist, 

author, and instructor with 

a wealth of expertise gained 

during 30+ years in disaster 

management, community 

resilience and health, 

emergency response, 

Canadian military and international operations. 

Visit Kim at kimfournier.com or get your copy 

of The 7 Steps to Emergency Preparedness for 

Families: A Practical and Easy-to-Follow Guide 

to Prepare for Any Disaster. 

Fall is fun 

with City of Victoria 

recreation programs! 

skateboarding lessons pro-d day camps 

youth nights engineering swim lessons 

skating dance music more... 

CHECK THE WEBSITE FOR PROGRAM REGISTRATION STARTING AUGUST 22 

LEARN MORE AND REGISTER: victoria.ca/recreation 



EXPLORE 

(RV) Camping with Twins Plus One 

A summertime experience to remember 

From the moment we found out we 

were having twins, I had a preconceived 

notion that we wouldn’t be doing 

much anymore. 

Late in the pregnancy, I remember taking 

our older son Hudson out for dinner 

and thinking “This is it. Likely our last 

enjoyable supper of freedom. It will never 

look or feel like this again.” 

ing. We had set up a tent at the oceanside 

campsite and blissfully floated away on 

the crystal-clear shallow blue waters. 

The island holds an immense sentimental 

value and so I thought that this would 

be the year to go again and celebrate my 

husband’s birthday—with the support of 

my dad—as it was Father’s Day too! So 

we rented an RV, we had grandpa’s extra 

hands and we had the ambition. I will 

say I definitely braced myself for work 

and set my standards quite low for any 

form of relaxation. I don’t think anything 

could have prepared us for what was to 

come, though. 

Getting there wasn’t so bad. It’s a few 

hours’ drive and two small ferries to arrive 

at this paradise, all while being firsttimers 

towing a large sleeps-six trailer. 

The twins had their nap and we got there 

at a good time and lucked out with beautiful 

weather for the majority of our stay. 

Our home base was the same campsite 

as always—the one with two-minute 

loonie showers and outhouses for bathrooms. 

It’s only a short walk away from 

the stunning Tribune Bay Beach so I was 

all for roughing it on a budget. 

The hardest part of trip? Taking all 

of the chaos and stress from home and 

seemingly amplifying it in one-sixteenth 

of the space. It was a humbling challenge 

not for the faint of heart, each and every 

one of the five nights, six days. 

It was meals eaten on the ground. It 

was endless diapers. It was a questionable-family-hygiene-type 

of animalistic 

vacationing. 

The biggest fail of the trip? Not bringing 

the twins’ travel beds along. My husband 

said there wasn’t room—and while 

this did seem true—they turned out to be 

crucial. 

In place of the pack-and-plays was a 

lower bunk bed with a makeshift rail 

guard enclosure for the twins to sleep 

Fast forward nearly two years later 

and I was right. Nothing is ever easy anymore 

and it’s usually always a complete 

spectacle to do anything out in public. 

It’s become all that I know, though. As 

twin +1 parents we have to constantly 

keep tabs on six arms, six legs and three 

very mobile strong-willed bodies. It’s a 

lot—all of it—but what I’ve come to realize 

is that for every one of our challenges 

comes equal parts reward. 

That’s how I feel about our recent 

camping trip to Hornby Island, BC. 

It’s a place I grew up visiting almost every 

summer with friends, enjoying every 

ounce of its laidback tropical vibe without 

a care or responsibility in the world. 

Hornby is peaceful, calm, cool and 

collected. It’s where my husband and I 

first travelled to in our early days of dattogether. 

My daughter figured out how to 

break out of that after the first few sleepless 

nights of adjustment. 

We never knew if she was finally 

asleep, or if she was standing up in the 

trailer walking around like a little ghost 

in her sleep sack. Eventually the twins 

found their rhythm and cuddled up together. 

This was the first time they’d done 

this, other than newborn naps, and the 

visual made everything worth it. It was 

the sweetest thing. 

The most important realization of the 

trip? Not having thought through safe 

containment (for sanity) or ideas for 

daily distraction. 

I spent way too much time thinking 

about meals and snacks and not enough 

communicating with my husband about 

how each day would go for entertainment, 

how they would eat their meals 

and what to do for naps. An octagon 

enclosure saved us—and so did the beautiful 

beach—but we could have done so 

much more to prepare for how each day 

would look. You live and learn I guess. 

The best part of the trip? 

I got closer with my dad and was able 

to see him in such a different light, helping 

out with our children in a different 

atmosphere. The twins finally got to experience 

something so different than their 

usual daycare and bedtime routine in a 

post-lockdown world. Their eyes lit up in 

a way I’ll never forget. 

Our family of five once again grew 

through taking on a new challenge and 

coming out more knowledgeable and resilient 

on the other side. The goal was to 

have a family experience and create some 

lasting memories—and we did just that. 

We sailed back home with something 

that far exceeded what I ever could have 

envisioned. 

Next time, though, I won’t go anywhere 

without those travel beds. 

Natasha Mills is a twin mom of three residing on the island now for nearly 

30 years. She has found a creative outlet in documenting the real moments of 

parenthood—the relatable highs and challenging lows. She has also found a 

passion in writing her experience of motherhood and connecting with many 

like-minded parents in her community and abroad. @mommamillsblog 


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Morning or full-time care. 

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Christ Church Cathedral Childcare 

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ECE and specialist teachers provide an 

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OPENING 

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BEFORE & AFTER SCHOOL CARE 

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at Vic West Elementary School 

cloverdalechildcare.com 

250.995.1766 cloverdale@shawbiz.ca 

Emmanuel Baptist Church Child Care 

We offer all-day Day Care 

for 3 and 4 year olds. 

We also offer an After School Care 

Program for Kindergarten to 12 years 

old for Campus View and Frank Hobbs. 

250 598 0573 2121 Cedar Hill X Rd (by entrance to UVic) 

daycare@emmanuelvictoria.ca afterschool@emmanuelvictoria.ca 

Pre-School 

Junior Kindergarten 

PacificChristian.ca 

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Ready Set Grow Preschool.....250-472-1530 

Join our learning through play preschool located 

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SEEDLINGS 

Forest Education 

Where nature becomes the Teacher! 

Seedlings Forest Education is a Nature based program 

that includes After School Care, Nature Preschool, Parent 

Workshops, Saturday Seedlings, Summer Camps and more! 

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St. Christopher’s Montessori School 

Offering an enriched and 

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Competitively priced independent 

school education 

Half day for 3 & 4 year olds 

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Junior Kindergarten to Grade 12 

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NANAIMO’ S JK–12 INTERNATIONAL 

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Our purpose built facilities have been handmade using the 

trees from our forest. Come take a virtual tour on our website! 

lexieslittlebears.ca Waitlist: 250-590-3603 

BC Award of Excellence in Childcare & Prime Minister’s Award of Excellence in Early Childhood Education. 



KIDS’READS 

ABC Learning Books Are for Me 

School is just about back in session—summer goes so 

fast, I know. And with the school year comes a whole 

assortment of emotions from excitement to fear. For 

this issue’s column, I’ve decided to look at fun books about 

learning so we can start the school year off right. And if your 

child struggles with anxiety, I have a book for that as well. 

While you wouldn’t know it to look at my children, one 

of them struggles with anxiety a lot. So I have read many 

books about coping strategies; however, the strategies within 

them often feel like they’ve been plunked down on top of the 

story and not made a part of it. Olivia Wrapped in Vines by 

Maude Nepveu-Villeneuve and illustrated by Sandra Dumais 

(Ocra, 2022) is not like that. Nepveu-Villeneuve weaves the 

Another woman whose career started as a childhood passion 

was Maria Mitchell. Laura Alary explores her story in 

The Astronomer Who Questioned Everything which was 

illustrated by Ellen Rooney (Kids Can Press, 2022). Maria 

loved to look at the stars as a child, and her father taught her 

how to use a sextant, metronome and chronometer, which 

was odd for a woman born in 1818. However, she didn’t let 

that stop her and when the King of Denmark offered a prize 

to the first person to discover a new comet she decided that it 

would be her. For ages 4 to 8. 

In Emmy Noether: The Most Important Mathematician 

You’ve Never Heard Of by Helaine Becker and beautifully 

illustrated by Kari Rust (Kids Can Press, 2020), Becker explores 

Emmy’s biography. Emmy, who is Jewish, was born 

in 1882 in Germany and she loved math. Fortunately for 

her—and the rest of the world—her father was able to pull 

some strings so she could sit in (though not participate) in 

university courses when she was a young adult. How did this 

help others? Well it turns out that Albert Einstein had a problem. 

A problem so big that the greatest mathematical men of 

his age couldn’t figure out and they needed an out-of-the-box 

thinker to look at it in a different way. For ages 4 to 8. 

strategies into the tale so well that your child can learn them 

and still feel like they’re just reading a fun story. For ages 4 

to 8. 

School can be a fun way to become introduced to lifelong 

passions. For example, the book The Fossil Whisperer by 

Helaine Becker and illustrated by Sandra Dumais (Kids Can 

Press, 2022) shows how a school trip to the badlands in 

Alberta inspired Wendy Sloboda to get a job as a palaeontologist. 

Wendy is now known around the world as a fossil 

hunter and she even has a couple of dinosaurs named after 

her: the barrosopus slobodai and Wendiceratops. For ages 4 

to 8. 


The final book is not a storybook. It is a well-written textbook 

that is filled with stunning pictures. The Global Ocean 

by Rochelle Strauss and illustrated by Natasha Donovan 

(Citizen Kid, 2022) explores different aspects of the global 

ocean from currents and inhabitants, to pollution and warming 

waters. If your child wants to learn about the coast we 

live near and discover how that can help take care of it, this 

is a good book for you. For ages 8 to 12. 

There you have it. Five books to help inspire your children 

and teach them to live with their vines as they begin their 

new adventure at school. I sincerely hope they all have a 

wonderful year that is filled with learning, laughter, and lifetime 

memories. 

Christina Van Starkenburg lives in Victoria 

with her husband, children and cat. She is the author 

of One Tiny Turtle: A Story You Can Colour and many 

articles. To read more of her work and learn about her 

upcoming books visit christinavanstarkenburg.com. 

Facebook: facebook.com/christinavanstarkenburg 

and Twitter: @Christina_VanS. 

BUSINESSES 

YOUNEEDTOKNOW 

These local businesses are family-focused and committed to our community and helping you. 

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How-It-Works 

Piano Lessons 

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“Success does 

for children’s lives 

what sunshine does 

for stained glass!” 

(T. Talbot) 

xo Susan 

Serving Oak Bay and 

communities close by 

www.Musicalia.ca 

250-888-2432 



AUG/SEPTFAMILYCALENDAR 

For more information and calendar 

updates throughout the month 

visit IslandParent.ca 

V 

P 

W 

Victoria & Area 

Peninsula 

Westshore 

CV 

N 

CX 

Cowichan Valley 

Nanaimo & Area 

Comox Valley 

PR 

G 

O 

Pacific Rim 

Gulf Islands 

Online 

AUGUST 

3 WEDNESDAY 

Live Streets Chalk Art Festival CX 

5:30–8pm, Shoppers Row, Campbell River 

Create a chalk work of art on the street and enjoy 

live music and local food vendors. 

campbellriver.ca 

Starlight Skates 

N 

6:30–8pm, Nanaimo Ice Centre, 750 Third St 

Come and skate under the stars of our passive 

LED glow lights. Regular admission. 

nanaimo.ca/parks-recreation-culture 

4 THURSDAY 

Remote Control Wheels Club N 

4–6pm, Rock City Elementary 

Free event for all ages! Bring your fully charged 

RC with wheels (not air) and have a lot of fun. 

5 FRIDAY TO 7 SUNDAY 

Campbell River Salmonfest CX 

4–10pm, Nunns Creek Park, 18th Ave 

Logger sports, Highland gathering, food and craft 

booths, beverage garden, children’s activities. 

crsalmonfestival.com 

8 TUESDAY TO 11 FRIDAY 

Theatre Camp for Kids 

N 

9am–2pm, Ladysmith Waterfront Gallery 

Introduces a variety of dramatic forms including 

tableaux, improvisation, chorale and script work. 

ladysmitharts.ca 


Victoria Dragon Boat Festival V 

Much more than just a “festival,” we are a celebration 

of sport, culture, diversity and community. 

victoriadragonboatfestival.com 

15 MONDAY TO 18 THURSDAY 

Inspired by Nature: 

N 

Visual Arts Camp for Kids 

9:30 am–2pm, Ladysmith Waterfront Gallery 

Celebrate colours, textures and sources of inspiration 

found in the natural world. 

ladysmitharts.ca 

18 THURSDAY 

Oak Bay Summer Concert Series V 

6–8pm, Willows Park 

These outdoor concerts gather the community to 

celebrate music and the arts. 

oakbay.ca/parks-recreation/events 

24 WEDNESDAY TO 4 SUNDAY 

Victoria Fringe Festival 

V 

Various Locations 

The annual Victoria Fringe Theatre Festival takes 

over Canada’s Garden City for an 11-day celebration 

of live performance from around the world. 

victoriafringe.com 


Comox Valley Ribfest 

CX 

Cumberland Village Park 

Get ready for Ribfest 2022! A new location with 

new tastes and treats for the whole family. 

comoxvalleyribfest.ca 

27 SATURDAY 

Worm Bin Harvest 

V 

1–2pm, Compost Education Ctr, 1216 N Park St 

Explore worms’ anatomy, life cycles and role in 

composting with this parent-child workshop. 

compost.bc.ca 

SEPTEMBER 


Nanaimo Big Band Festival N 

Maffeo Sutton Park 

Festival passes and single tickets on sale now! 

nanaimobigbandfest.com 

Victoria Classic Boat Festival 

Inner Harbour 

Hosted by the Maritime Museum of BC. 

mmbc.bc.ca 

3 SATURDAY TO 5 MONDAY 

Saanich Fair 

P 

Saanich Fair Grounds 

Visit the 154th Saanich Fair over Labour Day 

weekend and “Plant Your Roots at the Fair.” This 

year’s theme: Vegetables. Enjoy the midway, live 

V 

Need help with the Affordable Child Care Benefit? 

Looking for child care? Taking care of children? 

Need child care training? 

Call your local CCRR for free referrals and resources. 

Victoria & Gulf Islands: 250-382-7000 

Sooke: 250-642-5152 ext 239 West Shore: 250-940-4882 

Cowichan Valley: 250-746-4135 local 231 

PacificCare (Ladysmith North): 250-756-2022 or 1-888-480-2273 

gov.bc.ca/ChildCareResourceReferralCentres 

Your community’s best source of 

child care information and resources. 

Funding for the CCRR is provided by the province of B.C. 


music, dance performances, eating contests, auction/raffle 

draw and much more! 

saanichfair.ca 

17 SATURDAY 

Wellness & Spirit Fair 

N 

10am–5pm, Cavallotti Hall, Nanaimo 

Improve your life physically, emotionally, spiritually 

and expand your consciousness. 

wellnessandspiritfair.com 


Luxton Fall Fair 

W 

Luxton Fair Grounds, 1040 Marwood Ave 

Midway, agricultural exhibits, judged categories, 

antique equipment and blacksmith demonstrations, 

wide array of vendors and food. 

luxtonfairgrounds.org 

24 SATURDAY 

Fun with Fungi 

V 

1–2pm, Compost Education Ctr, 1216 N Park St 

Join our Child & Youth Educators for a parentchild 

workshop on the importance of fungi! 

compost.bc.ca 

ONGOING 

Nanaimo Museum Summer Club N 

With a fascinating new theme every month you 

will be exploring the gallery, handling artifacts 

and learning their stories. Fun for all ages. 

nanaimomuseum.ca 

KinPark Kids Camp 2022 CV 

KinPark Youth Urban Farm, Duncan 

Learn about gardening, nature and food while 

making lasting memories and friendships. 

cowichangreencommunity.org 

Kids Art Camps 

CV 

Cowichan Valley Arts Council 

Create art from materials that are often forgotten. 

cowichanvalleyartscouncil.ca 

Parksville Beach Festival 

N 

This family-oriented festival runs from mid-July 

to the third week in August and includes sand 

sculpting, a free concert series, buskers and artisan 

market. 

parksvillebeachfest.ca 

Music by the Sea 

V/CV 

Join us in Bamfield and Victoria this summer for 

an international company of artists in two west 

coast locations. 

musicbythesea.ca 

 

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PARENTING 

Consent from the Start 

Although I have advocated for consent 

for over a decade, I only began 

to practise consent after a life-changing 

event three years ago. 

I am not talking about sexual consent. 

However, I am betting that when I said 

“consent,” you thought I meant “sexual 

consent.” If the campaign to normalize 

sexual consent in the effort to reduce 

sexualized violence worked, then that is 

exactly what you thought. 

children and husband. We had always 

lived in a small one-bedroom house so 

time together was not uncommon. Now, 

though, we’re on raw land, and the only 

indoor space is a 40-foot school bus; the 

intricacies of relationship and family dynamics 

have become all too clear. 

The baby of the family, our nine-yearold 

at the time, was an expert at getting 

what he wanted. The word “no” was just 

an opportunity for him to add pressure 

then expect that when he’s 15, he’ll know 

better and even see the need to ask?” 

Outside of being a mom, the other part 

of my life is spent with youth. I deliver 

programs based in the themes of respect, 

empathy and connection. This is how I 

believe we build a future free of violence 

and abuse. Consent is an obvious and 

integral part of my work. I have to be 

willing to ask what others want, without 

bias, and be willing in return to be clear 

Consent is synonymous with healthy 

sexuality. Ideally. We’re making strides 

in the right direction, but I wonder if this 

narrowing of how we teach consent may 

in fact be reducing it to subpar results. 

Consent is something we can teach from 

the very start. By bringing the language 

of consent into all areas of our lives, we’ll 

weave a culture of consent into the very 

fabric of our community. 

The life-changing event happened 

when I moved into a bus with my three 

and use every card possible to change 

that “no” into a “yes.” As his tactics 

increased, it was easy to become agitated 

by his desperate pleas. And, why not? 

Please, make him quiet, give him what he 

wants. At a certain point, though, I began 

to ask myself: 

“If I support my son in getting what 

he wants at the age of nine, when will I 

teach him that no means no? If I allow 

my child to shout, cry and whine for 

what he wants when he is young, will I 

about what I want as well. Too often, I 

see that the first time youth hear about 

consent, it’s in the framework of sexual 

consent. I believe this is far too late. 

I learned how consent could be taught 

to a child from a good friend. Over a cup 

of tea, I watched her navigate consent 

with her two-year-old, clearly, efficiently 

and without any blame or shame. In 

relationships, we may well want different 

things. Accepting that, without any 

feelings of shame or being wrong, allows 


us to be more willing to find out what 

those differences are. Her son wanted to 

wrestle. She did not. Calmly she pointed 

out to him that he wanted to wrestle, 

which represented a “yes,” and she did 

not, representing a “no.” See, she said, 

one “yes” and one “no”—what does 

that make? A “no.” Then she furthered 

explained: A “yes” and a “yes,” makes 

a “yes.” But when there is a “yes” and a 

“no,” that means that someone does not 

want to. That is a “no.” 

Even at two, this seemed acceptable 

to him. Obvious really. Life moved on. I 

could not help but think, if we all raised 

our children with this language, of asking 

and accepting, would sexual consent need 

to be taught? I imagine that it would 

occur naturally, as it would already be 

imbedded into the language used in any 

relationship. 

I’m curious about how we can change 

the language we use with our kids, our 

students and our friends to include the 

opportunity of consent. How we can 

practise a willingness, without judgment 

or shaming, to allow others to say how 

they feel and share what they want? How 

we can demonstrate our own boundaries 

without anger or bias? Just as fact. 

It’s up to me to examine the ways I ask 

others to show up and the ways I may push 

my biases or opinions onto others. What 

does it really mean to allow others to participate 

in a way that is most comfortable 

for them? In classrooms and in my own 

family, I’ve seen that when I ask people for 

consent they seem more willing to engage. 

Consent when met implies an agreement. 

This is a beautiful standard for any interaction. 

It means we truly want to interact, in 

our own way. No matter what we’re doing, 

it is always better and more enjoyable 

when we’ve consented to doing it. 

Kate Nash is the programs 

manager and lead facilitator for 

The Circle Salt Spring Education 

Society. She has worked with 

island youth for over a 

decade, teaching theatre, 

play-building and improv. Kate is also the 

mother of three kids aged 12–16. 

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PARENTING 

Older Motherhood 

So much of the discourse surrounding women who give birth 

later in life focuses on the negatives: the health risks to 

mother and child, for example, or the difficulties of being a new 

parent at an older-than-optimal age. 

That’s the topic of an article published in the journal Health, 

Risk and Society by Francesca Scala, a professor of political science 

at Concordia University. In it, she argues that much of the 

official language around older motherhood is rooted in both 

ageism and ableism, as well as being out of step with current 

childbirth trends. According to Statistics Canada, the average 

age of childbirth has been rising steadily since the mid-1960s, 

and more women are giving birth between the ages of 35 to 39 

than between 20 and 24. But societal expectations of mothers 

remain largely unchanged. 

Emphasizing the negatives 

Scala and her co-author Michael Orsini at the University 

of Ottawa analysed two dozen English-language policy documents, 

government reports and professional statements and 

guidelines containing terms such as “advanced maternal age,” 

“delayed childbearing,” “older mothers” and “infertility.” 

Documents dated between 1993 and 2020. 

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“When I examine myself and my method of 

thought, I come to the conclusion that the 

gift of fantasy has meant more to me than 

my talent for absorbing knowledge.” 

– Albert Einstein 


They identified three principal themes in their research: older 

mothers were considered risky maternal subjects, were unnatural 

or were irresponsible reproductive citizens. 

The researchers don’t deny the biomedical risks that are 

present in later-in-life pregnancy such as preeclampsia and 

gestational diabetes. Older women are designated a risk group, 

and their children are at increased risk of chromosomal abnormalities 

(though until recently risks associated with advanced 

paternal age, such as schizophrenia or autism, were rarely mentioned). 

More problematic is the idea of older mothers as unnatural. 

“There is this model of intensive mothering ideology that is 

pervasive in our society, where motherhood is an all-encompassing 

role for women,” Scala explains. “It rests on the idea 

that women are the primary caregivers and are solely responsible 

for the health and well-being of their children. Older mothers 

challenge our idea about the ‘good mother’—someone who 

is youthful, energetic and has the time and resources to fully 

dedicate themselves to raising children.” 

There is also mention in the texts of the possible negative 

psychological effects a child may experience in having a mother 

old enough to be their grandmother. This concern appears in 

the Canadian Medical Association’s White Paper on Reproductive 

Technologies. There is little said about the repercussions of 

advanced paternal age. 

“We see a lot of information on government websites about 

the ideal time for childbearing, from a fertility standpoint, even 

though studies show that older women are often better prepared 

to have children,” Scala argues. “They have the financial 

resources to take care of their offspring and they have relationship 

stability.” 

This presumption of delayed childbearing being problematic 

or a financial burden on the state can impact access to in-vitro 

fertilization as well, she says. Certain provinces in Canada will 

not extend insurance coverage if a woman uses IVF past the age 

of 42, for example, due to increased risks associated with pregnancy 

and birth and low success rate of treatment. 

“Our goal as social scientists was not to challenge statistics 

around biomedical risks, but to see if older mothers themselveswere 

being problematized in these discussions,” Scala states. 

“Instead of putting the onus on women to adhere to their 

‘biological clock,’ I would like to see more discussion about 

how broader social and economic forces shape women’s path to 

motherhood. How can we, as a society, support women having 

children at their ideal time, for example, with accessible daycare, 

so they are not penalized for having children too early or 

too late?” 

• AN ENGAGING EDUCATION 

• AN INCLUSIVE COMMUNITY 

• BEFORE AND AFTER-SCHOOL CARE 

From “Attitudes Around Older Motherhood,” an article published in the 

journal Health, Risk and Society by Francesca Scala. For more information, 

visit concordia.ca. 

Christ Church Cathedral School 

Victoria’s Anglican School for Jr. K – Grade 8 

www.cathedralschool.ca | 250-383-5125 



WHAT’SFORDINNER 

Happy Healthy Lunches 

It’s frustrating to pack your kids’ lunch only to have it come 

home uneaten. Or to have your kids only eat the treat part 

of their lunch leaving the vegetables and protein behind. 

Here are a few recommendations to get your kids eating a 

healthy lunch: 

Make sure the treats are healthy too! Look for treats that 

are low in sugar, but high in flavor. Try packing some unusual 

options like plantain chips, chickpea snacks or cauliflower 

crackers. There’s lots of options available now! 

Fruit is a healthy treat too! Bite-sized fruit is easier to eat. 

Chopped pineapple and watermelon are fun. Or try tossing 

apple slices in cinnamon to reduce browning. 

Homemade treats are usually healthier than store-bought. 

Try making banana-sweetened muffins or cheese muffins. 

Get your kids involved in packing their own lunch! Kids 

who pack their own lunch are way more likely to eat it. It’s 

the prefect way to start teaching them about the four food 

groups and healthy eating. Remember half their meal should 

be fruits and vegetables with protein and grains each making 

up 1/4 of their meal. 

A Food Guide Lunch Box 

Probably the easiest way to get your kids eating a healthy 

lunch is to let them pack it themselves! Even kids in kindergarten 

can choose what they want and put it in a lunch 

container. Older kids can even help with chopping vegetables 

and cheese. 

It’s all about building the routine into their morning. Sure, 

it will be difficult the first week or two, but after that you no 

longer have to worry about packing lunches! 

If you have a particularly hard to motivate sleepy head, 

then maybe try a reward right before they head out the door. 

We don’t allow any morning screen time until all the chores 

are done. When their teeth are brushed and their lunch is 

packed, then let them watch an episode of their favourite 

cartoon (little kids), or check their phone and email (older 

kids). 

The only trick is to have LOTS of options for them to pick 

and choose their own lunches. I recommend keeping at least 

some lunch supplies stashed in the freezer so you always 

have food on hand. Here are some delicious examples. 

Fruit and Vegetables 

(1/2 of your plate): 

Fresh berries, chopped fruit, grapes 

Cherry tomatoes 

Carrot sticks, pepper slices, cucumber slices 

Sweet peas, green beans 

Frozen edamame 

Mixed frozen vegetables 

Protein 


Seed and nuts (depending on classroom rules) 

Cheese 

Cubes of tofu 

Deli meat, pepperoni sticks 

Chickpea snacks 

Hard-boiled egg 

Hummus, nut butter 

Carbohydrates 


Crackers, pretzels, rice cakes 

Wholegrain bread, pita, tortilla 

Homemade baked good 

Corn chips 

Emillie Parrish loves having adventures with 

her two busy children. You can find more of her 

recipes in her recently released cookbook 

Fermenting Made Simple. fermentingforfoodies.com 


Banana-sweetened Muffins 

(Prep time: 15 minutes, Bake time: 30 minutes) 

These banana-sweetened muffins are simple, wholesome, and delicious. 

Get your kids to help you prepare the batter. I always make 18 

smaller, lunchbox-sized muffins, then freeze the leftovers. That way 

we’ll have a freezer full of frozen muffins, ready when we need them! 

4 very ripe bananas (approx. 1 1 ⁄3 cups mashed) 

1⁄3 cup vegetable oil 3 eggs 

1 ⁄2 cup of milk 1 tsp vanilla 

1 3 ⁄4 cup of flour (wholegrain or GF) 1 tsp baking powder 

1⁄2 tsp baking soda 1 ⁄4 tsp salt 

1. Preheat the oven to 350˚F. 

2. Mash the bananas in a large mixing bowl until they are relatively 

smooth. 

3. Mix in the oil, then beat in the eggs, milk and vanilla. 

4. Add in the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. 

5. Stir until everything is evenly mixed. 

6. Prepare the muffin tin either with paper liners or grease each muffin 

cup. This recipe will make 12 large muffins or 18 smaller muffins. 

7. Divide the batter between the muffin cups. 

8. Bake for 20–25 minutes (until a toothpick comes out clean). 

9. This can also be baked in a loaf tin, just increase the baking time 

to 40–50 minutes. 

Cheesy Muffins 

(Prep time: 15 minutes, Bake time: 30 minutes) 

Sometimes a savoury treat is best. Since these cheese muffins don’t 

contain any sugar, they are a more bread-like than muffin-like. Feel 

free to add in other flavours, like diced red pepper or cooked sweet 

corn kernels. It makes for a more flavourful snack! 

1 cup buttermilk 2 eggs 

1 1 ⁄2 cups flour 1⁄2 tsp salt 

1⁄2 tsp baking soda 2 Tbsp finely chopped green onion 

2 cups grated cheddar cheese 

1. Preheat the oven to 350 F (210 C). 

2. Prepare a muffin tin by lining it with paper liners or greasing and 

flouring each of the muffin cups. Otherwise, the cheese muffins will 

stick. 

3. Mix the buttermilk and eggs in a large bowl. Then mix in the flour, 

salt and baking soda. 

4. Stir in the grated cheese, green onion and any other additional 

flavours. Scoop into the muffin tin. This recipe will make 12 smaller 

muffins or 8 larger muffins. 

5. Bake for 20–25 minutes, or until a muffin tester comes out clean. 

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CUTITOUT! 

The Pain of Growing Up 

A 

child must learn to respect other people’s boundaries and 

experience life’s growing pains in order to become a responsible 

caring person. Most young children are demanding. 

Slowly, as they mature, they learn to deal with frustration and 

disappointments. 

As our expectations regarding behaviour gradually increase, we 

show less tolerance and children learn to cooperate. If reasonable 

expectations are not part of the relationship, the child doesn’t develop 

a healthy awareness of boundaries. 

If we are over-submissive: 

• We give in to a child’s demands rather than sticking to a 

healthy limit. 

• We are afraid of losing a child’s love and believe them when 

they say, “I hate you.” 

• We get caught in the guilt/anger cycle and allow these emotions 

to guide our decisions. 

If we are over-submissive, giving in rather than having backbone, 

the child’s persistence is rewarded and healthy boundaries 

are argued, debated and challenged until the parent gives in. This 

is spoiling and the child will suffer as their friends, teachers and 

people outside of the family won’t tolerate this. 

When spoiled children grow up, they equate love from others 

with giving in to them and genuinely feel unloved and unwanted 

if their demands are not met. They infringe on the rights of others 

without being aware of these rights. It is difficult to learn about 

boundaries as adults when they should have been learned in 

childhood. 

What to do: 

Don’t sweat the small stuff. This stops you from getting into 

debates about things that don’t really matter. Instead, think about 

your bottom line. What matters? 

Give a child empathy when they experience disappointment 

about a reasonable limit without rescuing or giving in. 

Notice qualities in your child such as consideration and regard for 

others. Point out the positive impact this has on others. 

Value your own personal boundaries by paying attention to your 

feelings of irritation. Those feelings might be telling you something. 

Set clear, reasonable limits that reflect the needs of others such as 

safety, privacy, respect for things and contribution. 

We don’t spoil a child with love, but we can spoil a child if they 

are taught to believe that the world ought to give them what they 

want no matter what the cost is to others. Limits that really matter 

are about how we treat others and safety. This is love in action. 

Dr. Allison Rees is a parent educator, counsellor 

and coach at LIFE Seminars (Living in Families 

Effectively), lifeseminars.com. 

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STAGES 

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We are a unique, local business that has the 

pleasure of working with fossils that are 

millions of years old. We restore, display and 

sell dinosaurs. Our specimens have found 

homes all over the world. Some can be viewed 

at The Royal Tyrell Museum, The Melbourne 

Natural History Museum, The Royal Ontario 

Museum, The Houston Museum of Natural 

Science and The Berlin Natural History Museum, 

as well as many privately-owned facilities. 

Book a private tour of the facility to view some 

of the dinosaurs in our prehistoric gallery, 

witness the restoration process, and even work 

on a fossil yourself, using our pneumatic tools. 

Don’t forget to check out our gift shop on your 

way out…not that you will want to ever leave! 

Private tours, Group tours, Birthday parties, 

Adult tours, School and Community presentations 

and Jr. Paleontology classes available. 

Check out our website or social media pages! 

By appointment only 

(must pre-book a tour online) 

dinolabinc.ca 

Instagram dino_lab.inc 

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Phone 778-966-DINO (3466)

Island Parent Magazine Aug-Sept 2022

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