VL - Issue 43- April 22

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Keep Pressing On BY MELISHA JOHNSON “I PRESS ON TO TAKE HOLD OF THAT FOR WHICH CHRIST JESUS TOOK HOLD OF ME. ... ONE THING I DO: FORGETTING WHAT IS BEHIND AND STRAINING TOWARD WHAT IS AHEAD, I PRESS ON TOWARD THE GOAL TO WIN THE PRIZE FOR WHICH GOD HAS CALLED ME HEAVENWARD IN CHRIST JESUS.” PHILIPPIANS 3:12–14 NIV Often there is a valley between what we are praying for and God’s answer, and the only way to get to His answer is to walk through that valley. The journey is rarely easy. Disappointment, discouragement, fear, and frustration challenge our faith, and we wonder if God has abandoned us. I have learned, though, that God never lets us walk through dark valleys alone (Psalm 23:4), even though it might feel like it at times. In the fall of 2020, I found myself in such a valley. As the COVID-19 pandemic wreaked havoc in the free world, those of us doing time behind bars were also experiencing new levels of anxiety and helplessness. When I heard of the possibility of a home confinement release, I half-heartedly began looking into it. I tried hard not to get my hopes up. And then I found out I was eligible, and I began praying constantly. 20 Issue 02 / 2022 VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM
PHOTO BY ASHCROFT STUDIO PHOTOGRAPHY BY STEVE ROOS Finally, the day I had been waiting for came, and my caseworker gave me a release date of October 28, 2020. I was overjoyed, and my countdown began. I couldn’t wait to see my precious family again. I could almost taste my freedom! And then, with just days left, my faith was severely tested. I had experienced many highs and lows during my ten years in the federal system, so this rollercoaster wasn’t new. My lowest point had been when the Holy Spirit brought me face-to-face with the person I had become, apart from God. This new development was just another dip in the ride. I grew up in the church, but I was a fraud. I hid behind masks and carried myself with pride and arrogance. Like many, I claimed with my mouth to know God (Titus 1:16), but I wasn’t a true Christ-follower in my heart. Most of my mistakes have stemmed from my insecurities. Since a child, I’d felt unloved, unworthy, deceived, and rejected— despite the great love many family members, particularly my grandparents, showed me. It’s a lie Satan sells to many of us. Deception ruled my life in many forms, including manipulation, greed, hypocrisy, lies, and thievery. I quickly learned that self-promotion and deception are exhausting and seldom end well. They landed me in prison. Of course, the Bible does warn us that pride goes before destruction (Proverbs 16:18). It took months of isolation, loneliness, and despair to bring me to my knees in surrender to God. During a trip to the special housing unit, I finally quit playing games with God and decided to get serious about Him. There, I recognized my need for the forgiveness and grace that Jesus Christ had died to give me, and I embraced it wholeheartedly. (I shared more details in Issue 4, 2019 of Victorious Living.) Blessings were waiting for me on the other side of that surrender—just as they await anyone who lays down their life at Jesus’s feet. My true and lasting transformation began right there in prison when I stepped out into a genuine relationship with the Lord. In His goodness, God didn’t waste one experience or mistake, and He opened doors for me to share my faith and minister His love and grace to other inmates. It was a privilege to encourage and mentor other women with similar struggles and tell them about the Savior who set me free. I loved serving God as I did my time, but I was never so naïve to think that doing the Lord’s work would exempt me from trials (John 16:33). I should have expected Satan to rear his ugly head right as my release date approached, but I was caught off guard when I entered that valley. I grew up in the church, but I was a fraud. I hid behind masks and carried myself with pride and arrogance. I wasn’t a true Christ-follower in my heart. Six days before my scheduled freedom, I received word from the Bureau of Prisons (BOP) that they had withdrawn my release date. They did not provide a new date or an explanation. The door just slammed shut in my face. Stunned, I slipped into a miserable state of uncertainty. I had been so confident that the Lord would answer my prayers favorably that this came as a significant blow to my faith. Lies from the enemy flooded my mind, and fear of the unknown came in waves. I fought to keep my eyes on my source of strength, reminding myself, “God did not bring you this far just to leave you, Melisha,” but I was losing the battle. I wasn’t the only one on this emotional and spiritual rollercoaster. I watched my incarcerated sisters deal with the same pain as they, too, had lost their release dates. I tried to encourage them, but I was weary myself. When one of my mentees got her release date back, a spark of excitement came alive inside of me...but it was short-lived. I allowed myself a private moment of despair before accepting that she would be leaving without me. I was hurting and disappointed but forced myself to dry my tears, suck it up, and be there to support my friend. One by one, all my close spiritual sisters went home. I stayed behind. I still held a tiny shred of hope that I would make it home by October 30, in time to surprise my mother for her seventieth birthday. When that day came and went, frustration and despair overtook me. For several nights, I cried out to the Lord, pouring everything out to Him and begging for understanding. “Why is this happening, Father God? I know You have Your reasons, but I am so confused!” I remember getting loud about it with Him as if He were deaf. I just couldn’t wrap my head around what was happening and why. I was tired and felt alone, as if everyone had forgotten about me. Interestingly, letting God know how confused and hurt I felt helped ease my despair. On the other side of my meltdown, I discovered His comfort (2 Corinthians 1:4), and my emotions began to stabilize. Suddenly, it didn’t matter why it was happening or who was at fault. I understood that God was most concerned with my heart and my response to the situation. It was time for me to get it together if I wanted to have any peace. Psalm 37:7 teaches us to “Be still in the presence of the Lord and wait patiently for Him to act” (NLT). I decided to do what I should have been doing all along—rest in God’s presence and trust His timing. I collected myself and asked God to forgive me for letting these circumstances affect my trust in Him. I began to thank and praise Him for all He had done in my life over the years. And as I worshiped Him, His grace and peace flowed over me, bringing contentment with them. VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM Issue 01 / 2022 21
Page 1 and 2: REAL PEOPLE | REAL STORIES | REAL H
Page 3 and 4: ISSUE 2, APRIL 2022 Be of good cour
Page 5 and 6: ISSUE 2, APRIL 2022 CONTENTS 8 24 2
Page 7 and 8: Through the stories of Victorious L
Page 9 and 10: TRANSFORMED LIVES God’s Faithfuln
Page 11 and 12: PHOTOS COURTESY OF MYPILLOW I had a
Page 13 and 14: PHOTOS COURTESY OF MYPILLOW bragged
Page 15 and 16: TRANSFORMED LIVES As they should ha
Page 17 and 18: PHOTO BY GERI SIMPKINS PHOTOGRAPHY
Page 19: invited anyone who wanted to receiv
Page 23 and 24: stuck, Melisha!” His words helped
Page 25 and 26: STEPPING FORWARD DON’T GIVE UP! B
Page 27 and 28: PHOTO BY OPENDOOR CHURCH All I coul
Page 29 and 30: STEPPING FORWARD Trust God, Even Wh
Page 31 and 32: could see that God was at work as m
Page 33 and 34: GOING DEEPER: Be Courageous On page

VL - Issue 43- April 22

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