VL - Issue 43- April 22
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Stop seeking man’s applause.<br />
You don’t have to fight to get<br />
ahead or be noticed.<br />
Big Mike used his<br />
size and strength to<br />
gain attention and<br />
acceptance.<br />
That was the start of my journey with<br />
God, but it would take another 17 years<br />
before I placed Big Mike on the altar, took<br />
my eyes off myself, and quit trying to be<br />
somebody I wasn’t.<br />
Life was better for a while, though, as I<br />
became involved in the church. That year, I<br />
met a beautiful girl named Liz. She’s God’s<br />
greatest gift to me. I invited her to come to<br />
church with me, and she did. Within two<br />
years, we were married. That was 2007.<br />
From the very beginning, Liz was all-in<br />
with the Lord. But for some reason, the<br />
closer she got to God, the further I ran from<br />
Him. It wasn’t long before I started slipping<br />
into my miserable world again, and for the<br />
next 15 years, Liz lived a private hell. I’m so<br />
grateful she never gave up on me.<br />
By 2008, my left leg was in excruciating<br />
pain, and I decided to amputate it. I had to<br />
have two amputation surgeries and endured<br />
a lot of pain before I achieved the<br />
desired result. Believe it or not, I was back<br />
in the gym a week after surgery in a wheelchair.<br />
I even took up boxing! I wanted to<br />
inspire others not to give up. I wanted my<br />
journey to prove that anything is possible.<br />
My heart was in the right place, but the desire<br />
to be seen was still present.<br />
Still miserable in myself, I’d plan trips to<br />
get away and drink. In 2010, after getting<br />
drunk, I had another episode of suicidal<br />
depression that lasted for days. I was away<br />
from my family at the time.<br />
It was so dark and long that I was sure<br />
I’d die. Five days later, I finally came out of<br />
that pit, and I vowed I’d never get drunk<br />
again. That’s the one good thing that came<br />
out of that dark season—I’ve stayed sober<br />
now for over a decade.<br />
When I wasn’t in the gym building my<br />
ego or home making life hard for my wife,<br />
I was working for my dad. He had created<br />
a position for me in his company, spending<br />
thousands of dollars on equipment so that<br />
his lost son could manage his vacant warehouses.<br />
I mowed, shoveled rocks, washed<br />
walls, cleaned ditches, repaired insulation,<br />
and removed ant hills.<br />
I knew I was wasting my life. Countless<br />
times, I sat on my dad’s mowers and<br />
bulldozers and just cried. I’d look at those<br />
enormous, vacant warehouses and remember<br />
how Dad always said an empty<br />
warehouse (one without tenants) was the<br />
largest casket in the world. I felt like those<br />
warehouses.<br />
I was empty and waiting to be filled with<br />
life. And not just any life, but the everlasting,<br />
abundant life that Jesus alone can<br />
provide (John 3:16; John 10:10). I needed<br />
His Spirit to fill me and lead me. And I desperately<br />
needed a purpose.<br />
One day a lightbulb went off in my head,<br />
and I said to myself, “If Dad’s going to put<br />
me to work on these big empty buildings,<br />
then I’m going to get them in top shape and<br />
find tenants.” I’d never had a thought like<br />
that before. Suddenly, I wanted to make<br />
Dad proud of me. I’d been such a mess-up<br />
my whole life.<br />
Working for my dad, I finally learned the<br />
value of work and money. I began learning<br />
the business and taking some initiative.<br />
Little by little, my hard work paid off. I soon<br />
found a small tenant, then a larger one, and<br />
then a long-term tenant, paying top dollar.<br />
Looking back, I can see that when I started<br />
honoring my dad instead of using him<br />
and stealing from him, my life began to<br />
change. When I started being faithful in<br />
the small things like cutting grass, my life<br />
became productive. It’s just like the Bible<br />
says in Luke 16:10, if we are faithful in the<br />
small things, God will open doors for greater<br />
opportunity. Exodus 20:12 also says if we<br />
honor our parents, life will go well for us.<br />
Although things were better at work, my<br />
relationship with my wife was still strained.<br />
We lived in the same house, but emotionally,<br />
I was miles away from her and our<br />
two children. That is, until God revealed<br />
Himself to me in a new way.<br />
With God, there are no coincidences.<br />
There are, however, divine appointments.<br />
His timing is always perfect.<br />
We had been attending a new church for<br />
over a year by then. I enjoyed the message<br />
every week, but I had not yet experienced<br />
a complete heart transformation. I was a<br />
hearer of the Word, but not a doer (James<br />
1:<strong>22</strong>). God was about to change all that.<br />
He was about to take Big Mike down once<br />
and for all. And He used my young son to<br />
position me for the fall.<br />
I had decided to stay home that Sunday.<br />
But then, Asher ran up to me with his<br />
beautiful smile and said, “Come on, Daddy,<br />
we’re going to church.” He was so excited;<br />
I just didn’t have the heart to let him down.<br />
There was a guest speaker that morning,<br />
preaching on the power of the Holy Spirit<br />
or, as he sometimes said, the Holy Ghost.<br />
This is the first time I remember hearing<br />
about the baptism of the Holy Spirit.<br />
Spirit? Ghost? Come on, man! I had no<br />
problem believing in Jesus, being water<br />
baptized, or going to church. But all this<br />
talk about some Holy Spirit was making<br />
me uncomfortable. At the end, the pastor<br />
18 <strong>Issue</strong> 02 / 20<strong>22</strong> VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM