VL - Issue 43- April 22

Stop seeking man’s applause.
You don’t have to fight to get
ahead or be noticed.
Big Mike used his
size and strength to
gain attention and
acceptance.
That was the start of my journey with
God, but it would take another 17 years
before I placed Big Mike on the altar, took
my eyes off myself, and quit trying to be
somebody I wasn’t.
Life was better for a while, though, as I
became involved in the church. That year, I
met a beautiful girl named Liz. She’s God’s
greatest gift to me. I invited her to come to
church with me, and she did. Within two
years, we were married. That was 2007.
From the very beginning, Liz was all-in
with the Lord. But for some reason, the
closer she got to God, the further I ran from
Him. It wasn’t long before I started slipping
into my miserable world again, and for the
next 15 years, Liz lived a private hell. I’m so
grateful she never gave up on me.
By 2008, my left leg was in excruciating
pain, and I decided to amputate it. I had to
have two amputation surgeries and endured
a lot of pain before I achieved the
desired result. Believe it or not, I was back
in the gym a week after surgery in a wheelchair.
I even took up boxing! I wanted to
inspire others not to give up. I wanted my
journey to prove that anything is possible.
My heart was in the right place, but the desire
to be seen was still present.
Still miserable in myself, I’d plan trips to
get away and drink. In 2010, after getting
drunk, I had another episode of suicidal
depression that lasted for days. I was away
from my family at the time.
It was so dark and long that I was sure
I’d die. Five days later, I finally came out of
that pit, and I vowed I’d never get drunk
again. That’s the one good thing that came
out of that dark season—I’ve stayed sober
now for over a decade.
When I wasn’t in the gym building my
ego or home making life hard for my wife,
I was working for my dad. He had created
a position for me in his company, spending
thousands of dollars on equipment so that
his lost son could manage his vacant warehouses.
I mowed, shoveled rocks, washed
walls, cleaned ditches, repaired insulation,
and removed ant hills.
I knew I was wasting my life. Countless
times, I sat on my dad’s mowers and
bulldozers and just cried. I’d look at those
enormous, vacant warehouses and remember
how Dad always said an empty
warehouse (one without tenants) was the
largest casket in the world. I felt like those
warehouses.
I was empty and waiting to be filled with
life. And not just any life, but the everlasting,
abundant life that Jesus alone can
provide (John 3:16; John 10:10). I needed
His Spirit to fill me and lead me. And I desperately
needed a purpose.
One day a lightbulb went off in my head,
and I said to myself, “If Dad’s going to put
me to work on these big empty buildings,
then I’m going to get them in top shape and
find tenants.” I’d never had a thought like
that before. Suddenly, I wanted to make
Dad proud of me. I’d been such a mess-up
my whole life.
Working for my dad, I finally learned the
value of work and money. I began learning
the business and taking some initiative.
Little by little, my hard work paid off. I soon
found a small tenant, then a larger one, and
then a long-term tenant, paying top dollar.
Looking back, I can see that when I started
honoring my dad instead of using him
and stealing from him, my life began to
change. When I started being faithful in
the small things like cutting grass, my life
became productive. It’s just like the Bible
says in Luke 16:10, if we are faithful in the
small things, God will open doors for greater
opportunity. Exodus 20:12 also says if we
honor our parents, life will go well for us.
Although things were better at work, my
relationship with my wife was still strained.
We lived in the same house, but emotionally,
I was miles away from her and our
two children. That is, until God revealed
Himself to me in a new way.
With God, there are no coincidences.
There are, however, divine appointments.
His timing is always perfect.
We had been attending a new church for
over a year by then. I enjoyed the message
every week, but I had not yet experienced
a complete heart transformation. I was a
hearer of the Word, but not a doer (James
1:22). God was about to change all that.
He was about to take Big Mike down once
and for all. And He used my young son to
position me for the fall.
I had decided to stay home that Sunday.
But then, Asher ran up to me with his
beautiful smile and said, “Come on, Daddy,
we’re going to church.” He was so excited;
I just didn’t have the heart to let him down.
There was a guest speaker that morning,
preaching on the power of the Holy Spirit
or, as he sometimes said, the Holy Ghost.
This is the first time I remember hearing
about the baptism of the Holy Spirit.
Spirit? Ghost? Come on, man! I had no
problem believing in Jesus, being water
baptized, or going to church. But all this
talk about some Holy Spirit was making
me uncomfortable. At the end, the pastor
18 Issue 02 / 2022 VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM