VL - Issue 43- April 22

REAL PEOPLE | REAL STORIES | REAL HOPE 

SURRENDER TO HOPE 

DAR VUELTA 

PARA VER 

EN ESPAÑOL 

SEEK GOD, NOT REVENGE 

KEEP 

PR E SSING 

ON 

HOW TO MOVE 

FORWARD THROUGH 

DISAPPOINTMENT 

A magazine 

on a mission: 

see page 2 

Issue 02 / 2022

VICTORIOUS LIVING 

DELIVERS HOPE TO THE 

INCARCERATED. 

Since 2013, the lives of over one million inmates 

in more than two thousand prisons have been 

impacted through the various outreaches of 

Victorious Living. We provide: 

Real life testimonies of the transforming 

power of Jesus Christ through our bilingual 

magazine, available in jails and 

prisons in print and digital formats. 

Christian discipleship to inmates through 

personal correspondence, devotionals, 

broadcasts, and podcasts. 

Discover life-changing 

resources on EDOVO 

prison tablets. 

VL magazines, 

podcasts, and 

broadcasts available! 

Are you a prison 

inmate who needs 

encouragement? 

Connection to national organizations that 

provide helpful resources for current and 

former inmates and their families. 

Prison outreach tools to help local 

churches carry out God’s command to 

remember the prisoner. 

Write to us 

and become an 

important part 

of our Victorious 

Living Family. 

VL Correspondence 

PO Box 2751 

Greenville, NC 27836 

We regret that due to the high 

transitional rate of inmates and 

new correspondence restrictions, 

we are no longer able to mail 

inmates individual subscriptions 

of VLMag or devotionals. Bulk 

copies of VLMag are provided to 

prison chaplains and libraries. 

Quantities can be increased at 

the chaplain’s request.

ISSUE 2, APRIL 2022 

Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, 

all you who hope in the Lord. Psalm 31:24 NKJV 

Publisher & Executive Director 

Kristi Overton Johnson 

Director of Partner Care & Development 

Pat Avery 

Cover Photography 

Ashcroft Studio Photography by Steve Roos 

Editor 

Rachel Overton 

Spanish Editorial Team 

Karissa Anderson, Proofreader 

Monica Colangelo, Translator 

Creative Designer 

Lauren Jones 

Production Manager 

Christina Kimbrel 

Social Media Manager 

Sheridan Correa 

Digital Content Manager 

Roman Randall 

Hispanic Outreach Director 

Denise San Miguel 

Story Contributors 

Mary Beth Barefoot 

Roy A. Borges 

Kory Gordon 


Melisha Johnson 

Christina Kimbrel 

Mike Lindell 

Kenny Munds 

Debbie Sanders 

Linda Cubbedge-Smith 

Vennesa Vieke 

Mike Wilson 

Photography 

Ashcroft Studio Photography by Steve Roos 

Theresa Golden 

Jomarys Leon-Lorenzo 

Mike Lindell, Courtesy of MyPillow 

Opendoor Church 

Geri Simpkins Photography 

Artwork 

Jared Emerson 

Accounting Manager 

Carla Owens 

Director of Prison Correspondence 

Carla Owens 

Victorious Living magazine is a publication of Kristi Overton Johnson Ministries, a 501c3 

organization. Copyright © 2022, Kristi Overton Johnson Ministries, all rights 

reserved. For permission to reprint or copy any material contained herein, please 

contact us at admin@vlmag.org 

The articles featured in Victorious Living are designed to inspire and encourage 

our readers by sharing powerful testimonies from people who, we believe, have 

been transformed by God's grace, love, and power. The articles are focused on the 

individual's testimony. Although we conduct some independent research, we rely 

heavily on the information provided to us by those we interview. Our articles are not 

intended to be an endorsement of the views, opinions, choices, or activities of the 

persons whose stories we feature. 

HOW TO REACH VICTORIOUS LIVING 

General, Subscription, and Partnership Inquiries 

• Victorious Living 

PO Box 2801, Greenville, NC 27836 

• 352-478-2098 

• admin@vlmag.org 

All Prison Inmate Correspondence 

Victorious Living Correspondence Outreach 


Scripture Permissions 

Scripture marked NIV is taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®, copyright 

©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. | Scripture marked NLT is taken from the Holy Bible, 

New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. | Scripture 

marked NKJV is taken from the New King James Version of the Bible, ®. Copyright © 1982 by 

Thomas Nelson. | All Scripture is used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. 

A menos que se indique lo contrario, todas las citas de las escrituras están tomadas 

de la Santa Biblia, Nueva Versión Internacional® NVI®, copyright © 1999, 2015 por 

Biblica, Inc.®, Inc.® | La escritura marcada NTV es tomada de La Santa Biblia, Nueva 

Traducción Viviente, © Tyndale House Foundation, 2010. | Toda la escritura usado con 

permiso. Reservados todos los derechos en todo el mundo. 

VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM 

Issue 02 / 2022 

3

30 

OUR OUTREACH IS 

PARTNER SUPPORTED 

Here’s how you can help us deliver 

hope to the incarcerated. 

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SUBSCRIBE 

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Your tax-deductible gift saves lives! 

@victoriouslivingmag 

CALL: 352-478-2098 

VISIT: VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM

ISSUE 2, APRIL 2022 

CONTENTS 

8 

24 

25 

29 

32 

9 

STEPPING FORWARD 

Healing for a Wounded Soul 

BY LINDA CUBBEDGE-SMITH 

Be a Vessel for the Thirsty 

BY KRISTI OVERTON JOHNSON 

Don’t Give Up 

BY VENNESA VIEKE 

Trust God, Even When You 

Don’t Understand 

BY KORY GORDON 

Restored to Usefulness 

BY KENNY MUNDS 

TRANSFORMED 

LIVES 

God’s Faithfulness 

BY ROY A. BORGES 

14 

10 

God’s faithfulness is the absolute truth 

you can rely on no matter what else is 

happening in your life. 

Let the Good Shepherd 

Lead You 

BY CHRISTINA KIMBREL 

When Christina’s life choices resulted 

in losing her children to Child 

Protective Services, she didn’t know 

if she could go on. More bad choices 

led her deeper into addiction and then 

to prison, where she finally found the 

Good Shepherd. 

FEATURES 

Surrender to Hope 

THE STORY OF MIKE LINDELL 

Well-known creator of the MyPillow 

dynasty tells how God brought him from 

a life of drugs and hopelessness and 

gave him a platform to help others and 

share the hope he found in Jesus Christ. 

16 

20 

26 

The Death of Big Mike 

THE STORY OF MIKE WILSON 

Mike spent most of his life promoting 

himself and making himself known. 

Now he makes sure others know 

about the unfailing love of his 

incredible Savior. 

COVER STORY 

Keep Pressing On 

BY MELISHA JOHNSON 

Recently released from prison, 

Melisha recounts how God kept her 

strong through the journey and how 

He’s still working in her life today. 

Put Down the Walls 

THE STORY OF 

MARY BETH BAREFOOT 

Being a preacher’s kid didn’t keep 

Mary Beth from years of emotional 

and spiritual instability, mistrust, 

and distance from God. Only 

through surrender did she find 

peace and purpose. 

30 

Seek God, Not Revenge 

PHOTO BY ASHCROFT STUDIO PHOTOGRAPHY BY STEVE ROOS 

ON THE COVER 

Formerly incarcerated 

in a federal prison, 

Melisha Johnson now 

uses her freedom to 

educate others about 

the importance of 

supporting men and 

women behind bars. 

She credits her life 

transformation to the 

Lord and the faithful 

support of her church 

family. 

6 

33 

THE STORY OF DEBBIE SANDERS 

The victim of a senseless, violent 

attack, Debbie was drowning in 

bitterness and a deep need for 

revenge. She found peace and 

purpose the day she handed it all 

to God. 

IN EVERY ISSUE 

Publisher’s Note 

Be Strong and Courageous 

Going Deeper 

Be Courageous 

34 

Now What/Resources 

I’ve Just Accepted Salvation. 

Now What? 



5

PUBLISHER’S NOTE 

Be Strong and Courageous 

If you’d like to partner with 

our magazine to deliver 

God’s hope and to impact 

the lives of incarcerated 

men and women, visit 

victoriouslivingmagazine.com. 

Every dollar you give sends a 

copy of our magazine into a 

prison. Each magazine impacts 

many lives for years to come. 

V 

ictorious Living maintains a constant 

theme of hope and victory. 

This magazine is all about sharing 

personal testimonies of how God 

helps people overcome incredible odds 

and hardship. The life stories of our contributors 

prove that there is no situation 

too dark for God’s hope to illuminate and 

no life too far gone that God’s love can’t 

restore it. 

While creating the content for this issue, 

I realized how important courage is 

in the life of a Christ-follower. Even from 

the start, it requires courage to believe 

that the God of the universe loves us and 

desires an intimate relationship. Receiving 

the simplicity of the Gospel as presented 

in John 3:16 requires us to look 

past fearful questions like: “What if God 

fails me? What if I fail Him? What if people 

reject me?” 

In fact, believers need courage just to 

live in daily surrender to the Lord. Surrendering 

the controls of our lives makes us 

feel vulnerable. 

Google’s English dictionary defines 

courage as “the ability to do something 

that frightens one,” as well as “strength in 

the face of pain or grief.” The Bible talks 

a lot about being strong and courageous, 

and that’s because God knew that every 

day, we’d face frightening circumstances 

and larger-than-life giants. In John 16:33, 

He even said we could expect to experience 

painful, against-all-odds encounters. 

I’ve read that there are over 365 fearnot 

commands in the Bible. That’s one for 

every day of the year! The Lord knew we 

would have to choose every day to either 

succumb to fear or to trust Him. 

How thankful I am that we don’t have 

to drum up courage in our own strength. 

Second Timothy 1:7 tells us that God gives 

us a spirit of power and a sound mind to 

overcome fear and other paralyzing emotions. 

God Himself offers His mighty power 

to help us stand firm (Ephesians 6:10). 

As a professional athlete, I often faced 

fear. In the 35 years I competed as a water 

skier, I can’t recall a time that my heart 

wasn’t racing before I stepped off the dock 

and slid into the water. It was a mental battle 

each time to corral the fear and replace 

it with more positive thoughts. But in all 

those years, I never let fear keep me on the 

dock. I knew if I stayed on the dock of comfort 

and perceived safety, I’d never stand 

atop that world-championship podium. 

Likewise, we won’t experience the victorious 

life God has prepared for us if we 

let fear keep us from God. It’s a daily decision 

to corral fear and replace it with 

God’s truth (2 Corinthians 10:5). 

Every time God has invited me to trust 

and follow Him, I have been scared to death! 

Just like when I stepped off the water- 

ski dock, my heart races and my knees 

knock. I never feel qualified to do what 

God is asking me to do, and I rarely have 

answers before I take that first step, but the 

more I focus on the One calling me off the 

dock, the faster fear loses its grip on me. 

Considering God’s past faithfulness and 

remembering that He is with me wherever 

I go gets me off the dock quicker. And when 

I remember that He loves me, that He is 

bringing provision, that He is more powerful 

than every enemy, and that He will 

never abandon me—I actually find myself 

excited about jumping into the deep. 

If you need courage today, ask the Lord 

to help you lay aside your fear so that you 

can accept Him into your life. He will help 

you step out in obedience and let go of the 

controls. You’ll be glad you did. 

Remember: God does not give you a 

spirit of fear. Satan does. Don’t let Satan 

keep you from experiencing the love of 

God and the goodness of His plans. 


Publisher & Executive Director 

PHOTO BY JOMARYS LEON-LORENZO 

6 Issue 02 / 2022 VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM

Through the stories of Victorious 

Living, men and women behind bars 

meet the God of another chance. 

Testimonial: Christina 

This magazine has impacted my family. One 

of my daughters struggles with addiction. I 

asked the Lord to rescue her, even if it meant 

she might go to jail. God answered my prayer, 

and my daughter went to jail. There, a copy of 

VL magazine made its way into her hands, and 

she began to read stories about people like her 

whose lives had been changed. It just so happened, 

my story was in that issue. 

Upon reading my story about how Jesus 

Christ had transformed my life, it became more 

personal to her. My daughter shared my story 

with her friends and asked me to send her a 

Bible. Soon she was requesting Bibles and subscriptions 

of VL magazine for her friends. 

God used VL to start a conversation between 

my daughter and me about the Good News 

of Jesus. A seed has been planted in her heart 

about how much the Lord loves her. She has 

seen firsthand how a person’s life can change 

when they choose Him. She says it gives her 

and her friends hope for their future. 

Have you considered using VL to share with 

others the Good News that Jesus saves? It’s 

a great tool to use daily as you interact with 

others. VL’s stories have a unique power for 

reaching people’s hearts in very personal ways. 

SPONSOR A PRISON IN 

YOUR STATE AND IMPACT 

LIVES TODAY. 

Visit victoriouslivingmagazine.com. 



7


HEALING FOR A 

WOUNDED SOUL 

BY LINDA CUBBEDGE-SMITH 

IN MY SECOND YEAR OF MARRIAGE, 

I experienced an unexpected storm that 

robbed me of my peace and joy. Tom and 

I had met in April 2018 and were married 

three months later. We’d each had long, 

beautiful marriages to our previous spouses 

before we lost them to sickness. 

We didn’t know each other very well 

yet, but we felt the Lord had brought us 

together. We quickly realized, however, that 

starting a second marriage as senior adults 

wasn’t as easy as we’d imagined. 

By late summer of 2020, Tom and I separated, 

and I moved back home. 

My heart was full of resentment 

and bitterness toward Tom, and 

I hated feeling these emotions. 

As a Christ-follower, I knew they 

weren’t what God desired for me. I repented 

repeatedly and tried not to allow them to 

control me again. But those layers of deep 

resentment mocked me. 

I was experiencing tremendous emotional 

pain. I was 69 years old and felt 

helpless. Thankfully, this dark season led 

me to draw close to my heavenly Father. 

He lovingly cared for me and assured me 

healing would come. Still, I longed to be 

free of this deep wound in my soul. 

During our separation, the Lord often 

prompted me to call Tom. I didn’t want to 

call him, though, as he might think I wanted 

to come back to him. Then I felt the Lord 

urging me to invite Tom over for dinner. 

“What?! Please, Lord, don’t ask me to do 

that!” But the Lord persisted. 

I finally humbled myself and reached 

out to Tom by text. I was hoping he would 

decline my invitation so I could be off the 

hook, but he didn’t. It wasn’t an easy evening 

for me. I had so much pride lurking 

in my heart. 

One day, I was unpacking some jewelry 

when I discovered that my gold herringbone 

necklace was a tangled mess. The 

links were twisted, and the chain felt like 

sharp edges of broken glass. 

I tried to remove the kinks by holding 

each end of the necklace and stretching 

it. It didn’t work. Then I tapped the kinked 

links on my dresser. To my shock, the necklace 

fell smoothly into place! 

“God, help me to forgive others 

as You have forgiven me.” 

I asked God about that necklace, and 

He showed me that, just as my chain had 

gotten twisted in the move, my soul was 

tangled too. And the kinks of my soul were 

sharp and rigid like the chain. 

I knew I needed to remain in faith and 

trust God’s Word so His Living Water 

could take me to a healthier place and 

untangle the deep hurt of my soul. I needed 

to replace my bitter thoughts with God’s 

promises so His healing power could work 

in my life. 

I made it a practice each morning to verbally 

clothe myself in God’s Word as I physically 

dressed. Often, I claimed the power 

of Colossians 3:12–14 as I prayed, “Lord, 

I am clothing myself with tender-hearted 

mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and 

patience. I choose to make allowance for 

Tom’s faults and forgive any offense as 

You have forgiven me. I will clothe myself 

with love and trust it to bind us together 

in harmony.” 

Soon, I saw evidence of God working out 

the kinks of our relationship. By the fall of 

2020, the Lord had reconciled our marriage. 

We didn’t have everything figured out, but 

we were committed to loving and respecting 

one another and letting God change 

us. Since then, we have enjoyed our life 

together, as the Lord had planned. 

Perhaps today, your situation seems 

hopeless. Call on the Lord Jesus before 

bitterness takes hold of you. Surrender 

your situation to God and permit 

Him to change you. 

The Holy Spirit will give you a 

teachable and humble heart as you 

devour God’s Word and speak His 

powerful promises into your life. Further, 

as you obey His kind leading, the Lord will 

bring healing to your soul and situation too. 

Pray with me: “Father, forgive me for 

any hidden offenses that are giving ground 

to the devil. Reveal them to me. Now, in 

the name of Jesus, I sever from my soul 

every menacing spirit of pride, unbelief, 

and stubbornness. I denounce the painful 

memories that are keeping me in bondage. 

I cut off any spirit of rejection and anger 

from their place of habitation in my soul. 

Instead, I choose to clothe myself with Your 

peace, tender-hearted mercy, kindness, 

love, and humility. God, help me to forgive 

others as You have forgiven me.” 

LINDA CUBBEDGE-SMITH was Victorious 

Living’s Prison Correspondence Outreach Director 

from 2014 until June of 2021. She is currently 

working on a book about the goodness of God and 

remains passionate about leading others to Him. 


TRANSFORMED LIVES 

God’s Faithfulness 

BY ROY A. BORGES 

GOD HAS MADE PROMISES TO HIS PEOPLE since the beginning 

of creation. Some of my favorites are found in the 

Old Testament. The Israelites wandered through the desert 

for a lot longer than they needed to, because they were often 

ungrateful and disobedient to God. Despite that, however, the 

Lord continued to pursue His people. 

He had promised to never leave or forsake them, and He 

never did (Deuteronomy 31:8). Instead He encouraged them, 

protected them, and provided for them during all the years 

they were in the wilderness. 

Deuteronomy 7:9 says, “Know therefore that the Lord your 

God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of 

love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep 

his commandments” (NIV). 

You know what? All these generations later, you and I aren’t 

all that different from the Israelites. Like them, through our 

disobedience, sometimes we bring horrible consequences on 

ourselves, but when we do, God is the same as He has always 

been. He remains faithful to us just like He was back then. 

It doesn’t matter which side of a prison wall you’re on, the 

challenges you face are great. But God’s promises and everlasting 

love remain the same. His greatest promise to us is 

eternal life through the blood of Jesus Christ. There is no love 

greater than that. 

When I went to prison for the third time in 1989, I was sentenced 

as a habitual offender. At the beginning of my 45-year 

sentence, I believed I would never see the free world again. For 

the next 31 years, I learned many lessons about the faithfulness 

of God. The more committed I became to following Jesus, the 

more He amazed me with the things He was doing in my life. 

Every day, I learn more about God’s promises and His faithfulness 

in keeping them. Living on the outside can be as challenging 

as being on the inside. When I was first released, I 

was at a halfway house, and not everyone there was looking 

to follow God. Temptation was everywhere, but God gave me 

strength and a way to escape it (1 Corinthians 10:13). Some of 

the men actually saw Christ in me, and it was a blessing to be 

a good example to others in that way. 

The more I live my life to serve Christ, the more He pours 

out His blessings on me. He has been faithful to provide for my 

every need, just like He did for the Israelites (Psalm 34:10). He 

has opened doors and done things for me that I never thought 

possible, including providing me with a cozy RV to live in and 

my own vehicle. 

There have been times when my flesh became weak. I have 

failed at some things, but God has been faithful in His grace 

and mercy (Lamentations 3:22–23). He never fails to pick 

me up when I grow weary and to continue with me on our 

path together. 

I have learned that I can rely on God and His Word to 

carry me through anything I am facing. He is a covenantkeeping 

God. He cannot lie, and that should be a comforting 

TEMPTATION WAS EVERYWHERE, 

BUT GOD GAVE ME STRENGTH 

AND A WAY TO ESCAPE IT. 

truth to all believers. It is for me. I know I can trust God, and I 

want to be obedient to Him because of the love He has shown 

me. The road I am traveling is not an easy one, but God is always 

there to help me on my journey. 

You know—this applies to you just as much as it does me. 

God’s faithfulness brings peace and victory to His children. If 

you believe that Jesus Christ died for the forgiveness of your 

sins and are willing to learn how to live His way, then you are 

a child of God. That means those promises are yours too. 

ROY A. BORGES served 31 years in the Florida Department of Corrections, 

where he realized his need for a Savior. While incarcerated, Roy ministered to 

others through his writings, over 300 of which have been published. He now 

lives in Tampa, Florida, and is a member of the Victorious Living writing team. 



9

Surrender to Hope 

THE STORY OF MIKE LINDELL 

We all have traumas and setbacks in our 

lives. We all encounter rejection and betrayal. 

But it’s what we do with those painful 

moments that determines the outcome 

of our lives. Our pain can be a gateway to 

hope, the very thing that leads us into a 

new life, or it can be our end. The choice 

is ours. 

In 2007, I found myself at this gateway. 

I was in a dark and lonely place where it 

seemed I had lost everything that mattered. 

When I shared my problems with 

a friend, I realized just how hopeless my 

life had become. We were out at sea when 

I asked for his advice on dealing with my 

situation. I’ll never forget his response: 

“Mike, if that were me, I’d jump.” 

Well, I didn’t jump into the sea, but I 

did dive deeper into darkness and kept 

going down the track of destruction I’d 

been traveling for years. Thankfully, God 

didn’t abandon me, and He didn’t give up 

on the plans He had for me either. Instead, 

He pursued me relentlessly, intervening in 

my life in the most incredible ways. 

I grew up in a Christian home. Even 

when I wasn’t living for Him, I knew God 

had a plan for me. I’d heard about His 

good plans in church, and people often 

reminded me that I was destined for 

something big. And then there were all 

the dreams I’d had. 

One dream in 2004 vividly showed me 

inventing a pillow. It was so clear, I knew it 

had to be from God. I woke up and went to 

work immediately—at 2 a.m. My daughter 

came downstairs for some water and found 

a room full of sticky notes and a business 

plan for MyPillow. I excitedly told her 

that I was making pillows, and they were 

going to change the world. “That’s so random, 

Dad,” she said, and went back to bed. 


PHOTOS COURTESY OF MYPILLOW 

I had another dream later that showed 

me how MyPillow would provide me with 

a large platform to help others. Helping 

others made me feel good about myself, 

so this excited me. It wasn’t often that I felt 

good about myself. 

For most of my life, I’d felt out of place 

and different. My parents divorced when 

I was seven years old, and I had to go to a 

new school. Back then, divorce was uncommon, 

and being from a one-parent home 

often made me feel less-than. 

Because of how different I’d felt as a 

child, I often struggled with social interaction. 

I would either clam up under the 

anxiety of speaking to someone or show 

off by doing crazy things. I didn’t know 

what to do with my hurt, so I escaped 

the pain however I could. 

Eventually, I turned to the temporary 

escape of alcohol, gambling, and drugs. 

Under the influence of drugs, my social 

anxiety decreased. I felt more confident 

and relaxed, and I was able to talk to people. 

But it was false courage at best. 

As I grew older, I tried launching my own 

business. I’d always had an entrepreneurial 

mind, but I didn’t have a lot of success. I 

was faced with the failures of my life in 

1984 at my five-year class reunion. 

Looking around at my classmates and 

listening to their stories, it seemed everyone 

had it all together but me. I was a college 

dropout and a compulsive gambler, the 

single guy who owed the mafia money for 

football bets. (Truth—they even broke both 

my arms for my debts.) 

I lay in bed the night of that reunion, 

and sadness filled my heart. I felt so empty 

and alone and behind in life. I was angry 

with myself for not being where I thought 

I should be and for wasting time. I longed 

for the families my classmates had spoken 

of, and I prayed, “God, please give me a 

woman to love and a family.” I thought for 

sure if I had a family, I’d be happy, content, 

and fulfilled. 

In 1987, I met a woman and got married. 

We had four beautiful children together. 

God had given me everything I had requested. 

I started a lunch wagon and then 

opened bars. (Not the best place for an addict 

to spend his days.) I worked hard. Yet 

even with my family and successful businesses, 

I remained discontent, and drugs 

continued to get me through my days. 

There’s a big misconception about addiction. 

Many people imagine addicts are 

homeless people living on the streets. And 

some are. But addicts also have beautiful 

homes and families. It doesn’t matter how 

many forks a person uses—addiction can 

affect anyone. 

For 15 years, I functioned as an addict. I 

I didn’t know what to do 

with my hurt, so I escaped 

the pain however I could. 

drank and used cocaine daily yet continued 

to work hard. It seemed a normal thing 

to do—the people I hung out with did the 

same. These substances helped me feel 

more confident and secure. They enabled 

me to talk to my customers. 

But when I came down from the drugs, 

unhappiness was always waiting for me. 

So I continued to combat it the only way 

I knew how. In the early 2000s, I turned 

to crack cocaine. With each passing day, I 

focused less on my business and more on 

finding my next hit. 

It wasn’t long before I lost my bar. Everything 

I had worked so hard to gain was 

gone, and I was devastated. “What now?” 

I thought. 

As crushing as it was, this disappointment 

had to happen. It was the beginning 

of several events God used to bring me into 

the calling He had for my life. During this 

time, I had that first dream for MyPillow—a 

vision from God of something new. 

Over the next year, I worked tirelessly, 

designing the MyPillow pillow. I bought a 

farm grinder and started chopping foam. 

My children were involved in every stage 

Mike Lindell in the early days of MyPillow, chopping 

foam in his farm grinder and sewing pillows. 

of the process, from making logos, developing 

prototypes, and hiring their friends 

to help with production. When my neighbors 

found out what I was doing, they joked, 

“What? Mike’s making pillows now? Is he 

on crack?!” (Little did they know, I was.) 

With the end product in hand, I passionately 

set out to revolutionize the 

pillow industry. But my excitement was 

met with rejection as every retail store 

turned me down. A friend suggested I sell 

out of a kiosk at the local mall. I didn’t even 

know how to spell kiosk, but I gave it a try. I 

only worked a couple of days there, but 

that was all God needed to bring about 

His divine appointment. 

One of the people passing by “just 

happened” to be the head of the Minnesota 

Home and Garden Show. He asked 

for my business card as he purchased 

his MyPillow. The pillow impacted his 

life so much that he then called and suggested 

I get a booth at the show. So I did. 

I only sold about 12 pillows the first day 

of the show. I was so anxious—I just didn’t 

know how to talk to people without the help 

of drugs. (I was still using at this time but 

always made sure I was sober at the shows.) 

I stood behind a table to keep customers 

from invading my space. 

After that first day, many of my customers 

came back to the show just to tell me 



11

Although I was on track for 

success, I was still unhappy. 

how the MyPillow had helped them. This 

boosted my confidence exponentially. To 

me, it wasn’t about making money as much 

as it was about helping people. 

For the next six years, I sold at the Home 

and Gardens Show and at the Minnesota 

State Fair with great success. Our family 

could have lived well off the proceeds from 

these events alone, but I knew MyPillow 

was destined for greater things. 

Although I was on track for success, I 

was still unhappy, and I kept relying on 

drugs to mask my pain. In 2007, the inevitable 

happened—my addiction caught up 

with me and took everything, including my 

20-year marriage. I almost lost MyPillow, 

too, as others tried to take my business. I 

encountered painful betrayal. And this is 

when that friend confirmed the hopelessness 

of my life with his comment, “Mike, if 

it were me, I’d jump.” 

My painful circumstances kept intensifying, 

and so did my drug use. I was using 

crack cocaine daily by this point, but then 

came another God intervention. 

I was staying in a crack house in downtown 

Minneapolis. I came out of the 

bedroom, and three drug dealers were 

standing there. These guys knew of each 

other but had never met. I asked, “What 

are you guys doing here?” 

One said, “Mike, you’ve been up for 14 

days. We aren’t selling you any more.” 

It was Mike’s 

drug dealer who 

took his picture 

and predicted it 

would one day 

be the cover of 

his book. 

I was like, “What is this, an intervention?” 

A little later, I hit the streets. Turned 

out, these guys had given an order that 

no one was to sell to me. Furious, I 

went back to the house and let that dealer 

have a piece of my mind. 

He replied, “Man, you’ve been telling us 

for years how MyPillow is a platform from 

God and that you were going to quit drugs 

and come back and help all of us out of this 

addiction world we’re living in.” He rolled 

his eyes and grabbed my phone. 

Then he took a picture of me and said, 

“Here. You’re gonna need this picture for 

that d--- book you keep telling us you’re 

gonna write.” The picture is now on the 

cover of my book, What Are the Odds? From 

Crack Addict to CEO. 

I wish I could say I walked away from 

drugs that night, but I didn’t. Instead, my 

life continued its downward spiral. Thankfully, 

God still hadn’t given up on me. Seven 

months later, He intervened again. 

I was lying on my back on the floor in an 

empty house in the middle of the woods, 

looking at the ceiling. As I pondered the 

hopelessness of my life, there was a knock 

at the door. I was surprised to see my former 

friend, Dick. He and I had grown up together, 

and we had started using drugs together, 

too, including crack. But Dick had found 

the Lord. His life had taken a different direction, 

and I hadn’t seen him since. 

“What are you doing here?” I asked. He 

told me the Lord had prompted him to visit 

and wanted to know what was going on. I 

knew I could trust Dick, and I started to 

share the details of my life. I also asked him 

many questions about his faith. I knew he’d 

tried all sorts of recovery programs like I 

had, but this Jesus thing seemed to have 

made a difference. I wanted to understand 

how and why. 

For the next two hours, Dick shared how 

Christ had changed his life when all else 

had failed. I was especially interested in 

knowing whether the Christian life was 

boring. He assured me it was not. 

I didn’t accept Jesus into my life that 

night, but God used Dick to plant another 

seed of hope that would soon take root. 

On January 16, 2009, my spirit was filled 

with urgency. I knew I was about to lose 

my opportunity to fulfill any call God had 

on my life, so I asked Him to deliver me 

from my addiction. It wasn’t the first time 

I had prayed. I had done so many times 

in jail, bargaining with God to make my 

problems go away. But something about 

this day was different. 

Desperate for change, I told God I was 

willing to do whatever He wanted, but I 

needed Him to set me free of my desire 

for drugs first. 

When I awoke the next day, it was an absolute 

miracle. I had no physical or mental 

desire whatsoever for drugs, alcohol, or 

anything, and I haven’t had any since. 

I was free. I am free! I immediately dove 

into rebuilding and reclaiming MyPillow. 

I committed to making it into a large platform 

that could help other addicts find the 

freedom I had found. 

I set off, more passionate than ever. 

That monkey of addiction was finally off 

my back. The first thing I needed was to 

secure $30,000. I was so intimidated as I 

met with investors and shared my story of 

being a former crack addict. One of them 

asked when I had quit. He looked surprised 

when I responded, “Last Thursday.” 

Incredibly, they agreed to loan me the 

$30,000 I needed. They couldn’t even 

check my license because I didn’t have 

one. It was another divine intervention. 

Months later, I realized the importance 

of discovering the reasons behind my addiction. 

I went to an outpatient center at 

my sister’s church. The first night there, I 


PHOTOS COURTESY OF MYPILLOW 

bragged to the other guys about how many 

treatment centers I’d been in, how many 

drugs I’d used, and how I had forgotten 

more about addiction recovery than most 

counselors ever knew. 

Rafe, the counselor, told me he didn’t 

care about all that. Instead, he wanted to 

know about my father and my childhood. 

I thought to myself, what in the world does 

this have to do with anything? 

Rafe helped me understand that addictions 

often stem from childhood traumas, 

especially fatherlessness. Dealing with past 

traumas was essential to recovery. I needed 

to address them, or they would continue to 

manifest themselves in unhealthy ways. I 

also learned that those wounds had opened 

a door for Satan to insert His lies in my life. 

I learned a lot there, but I wasn’t yet ready 

to surrender my life to Jesus. Instead, I continued 

to focus on building the company. 

I was still struggling to get retailers to 

accept my product, so I decided to take 

the pillow to the people through the magic 

of television. I convinced my friends and 

family to pool their money and help me 

create an infomercial. 

No one ever told me an infomercial isn’t 

the greatest marketing technique, so I believed 

it would work. Someone suggested I 

should hire an actor, but I knew if I wanted 

the thing to create sales, it would have to be 

authentic. And no one believed in MyPillow 

more than I did. 

We arranged for a studio audience, and 

I hired a cohost. On the day we shot, I was 

scared to death. Even after years of sales, 

I still had a paralyzing fear of talking to 

people. It didn’t help that the producer said 

I was the worst guy ever to do an infomercial 

and that I would never make it on TV. 

I was living in my sister’s basement 

when that infomercial aired at 3:00 a.m. 

on October 7, 2011. It was so surreal to see 

myself selling MyPillow on television. Over 

the next 40 days, MyPillow grew from 10 

employees to 500. It was a miracle that we 

were able to produce all the pillows needed 

to meet the demand. 

Over the next few years, MyPillow made 

hundreds of millions of dollars, but I began 

taking important things for granted, 

Mike Lindell 

ignored the 

naysayers and 

showcased 

MyPillow 

himself through 

infomercials. 

Product sales 

soared after the 

first airing. 

and before I knew it, MyPillow was six million 

dollars in debt. That was 2014, and 

once again, MyPillow was hanging on by a 

thread. We were two days from going under 

when God intervened once again. 

This time, He used a woman named 

Kendra. She had seen my struggles and 

en couraged me to pray. She then asked 

about my relationship with God. I told her I 

believed in Him, always had. But she challenged 

me to develop a personal, intimate 

relationship with Him. I could see Kendra 

had an inner peace and confidence that I 

didn’t. I had seen these qualities in other 

Christians too. For the next three years, I 

observed Kendra’s relationship with God. 

Deep down, I knew it was what I needed. 

Finally, on February 18, 2017, I got on 

my knees and fully surrendered my life 

to Jesus. At that moment, a weight fell off 

my shoulders. Relief came over me as I 

received God’s forgiveness and forgave 

myself. From that day forward, my life 

and MyPillow have remained in the Lord’s 

hands. MyPillow and my life are testaments 

to the power of prayer. There have been so 

many miracles, I can’t even begin to share 

them all. 

A couple of months after surrendering 

to Jesus, I stood in front of 15,000 people 

at US Bank Stadium, sharing my story. I 

was amazed at how God had taken me—a 

guy so terrified of public speaking he had 

to rely on drugs even to talk—and put me 

on stage to be a source of hope to others. 

Many people shared afterward how 

my story had helped them. It made me 

feel good to know that I was finally on the 

path God had desired for me. Now, I was 

positioned to help others find that right 

path too. 

As you can see, it took me many years 

to finally surrender my life to God and to 

step into His purposes. It used to bother 

me that I had wasted so much time, but 

God never wastes anything. It’s not about 

how quickly or through what means we 

come to surrender—it’s just about us finally 

getting there. 

Are you there yet? If not, today can be 

the day. Go ahead, get on your knees right 

now and surrender your life to Jesus. Give 

Him everything—your desire to use, your 

trauma, that inner pain, those disappointments, 

and your failures. Give Him your 

family, business, or prison sentence. Why 

wait? You’ve probably already tried everything 

else. Take it from me—Jesus is the 

answer. You can trust Him with your life. 

Let me close with some of my favorite 

Bible verses. Proverbs 3:5–6 says, “Trust in 

the Lord with all your heart; do not depend 

on your own understanding. Seek his will 

in all you do, and he will show you which 

path to take” (NLT). Do it. It makes all the 

difference. 

MIKE LINDELL, inventor and CEO of MyPillow, 

is passionate about helping others find freedom 

from addiction through Christ. For free recovery 

resources, visit LindellRecoveryNetwork.org. To 

purchase Mike’s newly released book, What Are the 

Odds? From Crack Addict to CEO, visit Amazon.com. 

Softcover prison versions are also available (ISBN 

code 1734283432). 



13


Let the 

Good Shepherd 

Lead You 

BY CHRISTINA KIMBREL 

TWENTY YEARS AGO, Child Protective Services took my two toddlers away 

from me. I remember it like it was yesterday. At the time, I was a self-centered 

person fueled by an insatiable appetite for heroin and crack. My daughters 

were suffering from it, and everyone but me could see it. 

I tried often to stop getting high but always fell back into my addiction. 

Ultimately, we became homeless. A worried stranger called the police and 

requested a welfare check. “Why can’t people mind their own business?!” I 

wondered. Like most addicts, I was comfortable in my dysfunction. 

When the police and CPS caseworker arrived, I screamed profanities at 

them. “I am fine! We are fine! Just go away and leave us alone!” 

It was obvious we weren’t okay, and the authorities immediately removed 

my daughters from me. If I wanted to see my girls again, they said, I’d have to 

go to detox and then complete an extensive 

stay in rehab. 

I let the caseworker take me to detox, but 

I didn’t make it a full 24 hours before heroin 

withdrawals took me back to the streets. I wandered 

around in a stupor for weeks, grieving 

the loss of my children. Every time I’d sober 

up, I’d remember what was happening to my 

family and inevitably sink back into the hole 

I had dug for myself. 

I wound up in jail, and after nearly two horrible 

weeks of withdrawals, reality sank in. I 

reached out to my caseworker, determined to 

be a better mom for my babies when I got out. 

CPS tried hard to help me and even allowed 

me to have visitation with my girls. I went to 

recovery meetings and counseling, and I took 

advantage of the resources provided. The court 

gave me every opportunity to start over and 

be a good mom to my kids. 

I tried to comply with all the requirements 

of my case plan for family reunification, but 

my addiction prevailed at every turn. One day, 

CPS surprised me with a drug test. I was dirty, 

and suddenly, all my efforts spiraled down 

the drain. 



As they should have, CPS submitted a recommendation to sever my parental 

rights. I knew my chance at reconciliation with my girls was over. I wouldn’t 

be able to see them until they were eighteen—and then, only if they wanted 

to know their mother. 

I headed for the nearest dope house. Two weeks later, I was back in jail, 

facing multiple felony counts of drug possession. I received a four-year prison 

sentence. 

CPS sent my kids to live with relatives they didn’t know, which only added 

to their trauma and confusion. The devastating consequences my choices 

brought into these two innocent lives would impact them for years to come. 

It was the biggest failure of my life. 

For the next 15 years, I stayed stuck in a cycle of self-destruction. It didn’t 

matter whether I lived in the free world or behind layers of barbed wire—shame 

and self-pity imprisoned me. There was a hole in my heart where my two little 

girls belonged. I lived every day, hoping it’d be my last. I hated myself that much. 

And then, Jesus met me in my empty and lonely regret and revealed His love 

to me. (See my story in Issue 2, 2020.) While in jail, I asked Jesus to be the Lord 

of my life. I reasoned that He must care for me deeply to sacrifice His life on 

a cross for the forgiveness of my sins. I had done nothing to deserve His love, 

and there was no way I could ever repay it (Ephesians 2:8–9). 

All I had to offer the Lord was a broken spirit and a crushed and repentant 

heart (Psalm 51:17). Thankfully, that’s all He wanted. It still amazes me that 

God wanted a relationship with me after all the damage I’d done. 

I dove into the Bible to discover more about God. I found relief in His Word; 

it bandaged the wounds of my soul (Psalm 147:3). I spent hours weeping at 

Jesus’s feet, grieving the loss of my daughters. I asked God to give me a desire 

to move forward with my life and a sense of direction. I had neither. 

One day in my morning Bible study, God led me to Isaiah 40:11, “He tends 

his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them 

close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young” (NIV). These words 

stirred up hope. Would God lead me? Did He still consider me a mother? I was 

confused. “My daughters are long gone, Lord!” I prayed. “I don’t understand 

what You are telling me.” 

The following day, God woke me up with two questions. He asked, “What 

are you doing to prepare yourself to be a better mother? If they came looking 

for you today, who would they find?” I was speechless. 

All those years, I had been blaming other people for the messes I had created. 

I did the same things over and over, somehow expecting different outcomes 

(John 5). I realized that God was lovingly saying to me, “It’s time to get up, 

Christina. It’s time to do something!” 

Strength and determination came over me as I’d never felt before. I know 

God put it there. I found the courage to open every area of my life to Jesus and 

to follow Him with my whole heart. I started putting one foot in front of the 

other and living by faith, not sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). 

I realized all I could do was prepare myself in the way the Lord told me. He 

would have to prepare my girls. So I put them in His hands. If we would find 

reconciliation, it would come through Him. In the meantime, I would let the 

Holy Spirit work in my heart. And boy, did He! 

God and His Word began to change the way I thought. Eventually, I even 

started thanking Him for the day CPS took my daughters away. He had reached 

down from heaven and intervened in all three of our lives to save us. I could 

see it now. 

ALL I HAD TO OFFER 

THE LORD WAS A 

BROKEN SPIRIT AND 

A CRUSHED AND 

REPENTANT HEART. 

THANKFULLY, THAT’S 

ALL HE WANTED. 

The way I prayed for my girls changed too. 

Instead of begging God to reunite me with 

them, I sought His will in our situation. I’d pray: 

“Father, please put people in their path to point 

them toward You. Even if they never want to 

speak to me again, Lord, let them know You.” 

I put my whole heart into trusting Him. He 

was the Good Shepherd who had laid down 

His life for me (John 10:11). He would lead, 

protect, and guide me and my girls to where 

He wanted each of us to be. 

I praise God that He has led us to that 

long-awaited reconciliation. I am grateful to 

have had the chance to ask my daughters for 

forgiveness. In His perfect timing, He has given 

us the gift of restored relationships. 

Do we still face challenges? Absolutely! 

Generational patterns such as addiction and 

low self-esteem still ripple through their adult 

lives. But I am not discouraged because the 

healing and transformative power of Jesus 

Christ is generational too. I know the same 

victory He has given me, He will give to my 

daughters. 

Don’t lose hope if your past choices have 

led to broken relationships. Put your loved 

ones and yourself in the hands of the Good 

Shepherd. Trust His timing and His ways. And 

while you wait, draw close to Him and let Him 

change you. You will find peace at every stage 

of the journey. 

CHRISTINA KIMBREL serves as VL’s production 

manager. Once incarcer ated, she now ministers 

hope to those held captive by their past and current 

circumstances by sharing the message of healing she 

found in Jesus. 



15

THE 

DEATH OF 

BIG MIKE 

I’ve 

THE STORY OF MIKE WILSON 

but a recipe for disaster? The school was 

full of bullies and other rebellious youth 

like me who had money and the means 

to everything. I attended the school for 

several years. 

craved attention for as long as I can remember. 

Money, material things, sports, the importance of hard work or the val- 

I was so immature. I didn’t understand 

people—you name it, I’ve used it to make ue of earning money. Instead of counting 

myself look important. I’ll be honest: my 

prideful desire to be the center of attention 

came with big price tags. Yet no matter the 

cost, I kept paying the price. 

During the 1980s, my father hit it big 

financially. Suddenly, our family went 

from living on a teacher’s salary to having 

wealth. But all that money wasn’t cheap. 

Before I go any further, I want to set the 

record straight. By telling my story, I don’t 

mean to disrespect anyone. I love my father, 

two sisters, and my mother, who is 

now deceased. I am grateful for their presence 

in my life. My father has done so much 

for me. He’s never once turned his back on 

me, even when my actions made a mockery 

of our family name. 

My parents sent me to military school 

when I was 10. I’d been challenging their 

authority since the day I could walk, and 

they were tired of dealing with my rebellious 

self. Instead of that being a solution, 

however, it made things worse. Kids were 

raising kids; how could that be anything 

my blessings, I squandered them like the 

prodigal son (Luke 15:11–32). 

That money was a game-changer for 

me. As I got older, I had lots of attention- 

grabbing items like a Mercedes, expensive 

jewelry, and top-of-the-line clothing. Money 

brought many “friends.” Too bad I didn’t 

realize then that most of them weren’t really 

friends; they just wanted the money 

in my pockets. But even if I’d considered 

their motives, it wouldn’t have mattered. 

Real friends or not, these people made 

me feel important and needed. Everywhere 

I went, I flashed those dollar bills, 

bragging about what my family owned 

and who we knew. I was the king of 

name-dropping. 

On September 22, 1990, I went out 

drinking with a former cadet who had been 

expelled the year before. My coach begged 

me not to go, but I didn’t listen. Hours later, 

I was thrown from a vehicle going over 100 

mph. My pelvis was shattered and my left 

leg detached from my body. 

Miraculously, the doctors were able to 

piece me back together. They used muscles 

from my abdomen to reattach my left leg. 

My right leg was severely injured too. I remained 

in the hospital for three months, 

fighting serious infections and undergoing 

multiple surgeries. 

During one of the surgeries, I am sure 

I saw a vision of hell. It reminded me of a 

Mario Bros. video game. I could see myself 

running and then falling suddenly into 

utter darkness. Perhaps God was giving 

me a warning about where I was heading 

if I didn’t change my ways. You’d think this 

might make me take a good hard look at 

my life, but it didn’t. I was 17 years old and 

far too important for that. 

I had survived the accident, but emotionally, 

I was a wreck. Several colleges 

had offered me soccer scholarships, but 

now, I was just this skinny, frail kid with a 

busted-up leg. I couldn’t play soccer if my 

life depended on it. And then there was 

the fact that I would be finishing my senior 

year at a local high school where I was not 

the Big Man on Campus. Instead, I shuffled 

through the halls, imagining ways to get 

back into the limelight. 

I graduated in 1991 and began a ten-year 

college career. I worked the system and 

stayed in school, living off Dad’s money. A 

decade of nonstop partying led to countless 

bar brawls, two DUIs, and more car accidents. 

But no matter how bad the situation 

I put myself in, Dad was always there for 

me. Regardless of my bad choices, I could 

always count on a “get out of jail free” card 

at his expense. 

At the clubs, I made sure everyone knew 

about my wealth. I’d tell anyone who’d listen 

about my limo companies, gyms, restaurants, 

warehouses, construction companies, 

and hotels. I bragged about the beach 

home and the penthouse I owned. 

Lies. Lies. Lies. None of that was mine; 

it was all my father’s. 

Around 1997, I got into weightlifting. 

It was a great way to satisfy my ego. That 

scrawny kid from high school was gone. 

The bigger and stronger I became, the 

more attention I got. Soon I turned to steroids 

to increase my size and strength, and 


PHOTO BY GERI SIMPKINS PHOTOGRAPHY 

Big Mike was born. People couldn’t help but 

notice me; I was huge—your typical meathead. 

Everywhere I went, heads turned, 

and people called out my name, “Hey, Big 

Mike! What’s up, man?” I loved it! 

In addition to the steroids, I began using 

ecstasy. Big Mike knew how to party. I lived 

it up, all for the sake of trying to be somebody 

because, inside, I was pretty sure I 

was a nobody. 

Then, one night, the party ended, and 

I woke up in complete mental anguish, 

surrounded by darkness, and terrified 

to death. My heavy steroid use had led to 

suicidal depression. The darkness lasted 

for days, and I couldn’t eat or function 

normally. 

I felt like a guinea pig as doctors 

searched for a drug to bring my mind back 

into balance. Eventually, they found the 

right meds to help me. I knew by that point 

that alcohol triggered my depression, so I 

tried not to drink because the darkness 

terrified me. Occasionally, however, I’d lose 

control, go out and get drunk, and send 

myself right back into a living hell. The 

darkness that enveloped me in January 

of 2004 almost destroyed me. 

This time, it was more intense than 

ever, and I was overwhelmed by suicidal 

thoughts. I couldn’t escape from the darkness 

that controlled my mind. 

I kept calling my doctor, begging him 

to help me. “This stuff is not leaving me, 

I’ve craved 

attention for 

as long as I can 

remember. My 

prideful desire to 

be the center of 

the room came 

with big price tags. 

Yet no matter the 

cost, I kept paying 

the price. 

doc! I’m going to die!” I’m thankful for the 

doctors and all the help the Lord sent my 

way. It’s only by God’s grace that I came out 

of that season alive. 

I finally realized that if something didn’t 

change, I was going to die. It was only a 

matter of time. I ended up attending a local 

church service where I heard about Jesus 

and how He could help people like me. 

When the pastor presented an invitation 

for people to receive Jesus as their Savior, 

I went forward, grabbed the microphone, 

and told everyone I was giving Jesus a try. 



17

Stop seeking man’s applause. 

You don’t have to fight to get 

ahead or be noticed. 

Big Mike used his 

size and strength to 

gain attention and 

acceptance. 

That was the start of my journey with 

God, but it would take another 17 years 

before I placed Big Mike on the altar, took 

my eyes off myself, and quit trying to be 

somebody I wasn’t. 

Life was better for a while, though, as I 

became involved in the church. That year, I 

met a beautiful girl named Liz. She’s God’s 

greatest gift to me. I invited her to come to 

church with me, and she did. Within two 

years, we were married. That was 2007. 

From the very beginning, Liz was all-in 

with the Lord. But for some reason, the 

closer she got to God, the further I ran from 

Him. It wasn’t long before I started slipping 

into my miserable world again, and for the 

next 15 years, Liz lived a private hell. I’m so 

grateful she never gave up on me. 

By 2008, my left leg was in excruciating 

pain, and I decided to amputate it. I had to 

have two amputation surgeries and endured 

a lot of pain before I achieved the 

desired result. Believe it or not, I was back 

in the gym a week after surgery in a wheelchair. 

I even took up boxing! I wanted to 

inspire others not to give up. I wanted my 

journey to prove that anything is possible. 

My heart was in the right place, but the desire 

to be seen was still present. 

Still miserable in myself, I’d plan trips to 

get away and drink. In 2010, after getting 

drunk, I had another episode of suicidal 

depression that lasted for days. I was away 

from my family at the time. 

It was so dark and long that I was sure 

I’d die. Five days later, I finally came out of 

that pit, and I vowed I’d never get drunk 

again. That’s the one good thing that came 

out of that dark season—I’ve stayed sober 

now for over a decade. 

When I wasn’t in the gym building my 

ego or home making life hard for my wife, 

I was working for my dad. He had created 

a position for me in his company, spending 

thousands of dollars on equipment so that 

his lost son could manage his vacant warehouses. 

I mowed, shoveled rocks, washed 

walls, cleaned ditches, repaired insulation, 

and removed ant hills. 

I knew I was wasting my life. Countless 

times, I sat on my dad’s mowers and 

bulldozers and just cried. I’d look at those 

enormous, vacant warehouses and remember 

how Dad always said an empty 

warehouse (one without tenants) was the 

largest casket in the world. I felt like those 

warehouses. 

I was empty and waiting to be filled with 

life. And not just any life, but the everlasting, 

abundant life that Jesus alone can 

provide (John 3:16; John 10:10). I needed 

His Spirit to fill me and lead me. And I desperately 

needed a purpose. 

One day a lightbulb went off in my head, 

and I said to myself, “If Dad’s going to put 

me to work on these big empty buildings, 

then I’m going to get them in top shape and 

find tenants.” I’d never had a thought like 

that before. Suddenly, I wanted to make 

Dad proud of me. I’d been such a mess-up 

my whole life. 

Working for my dad, I finally learned the 

value of work and money. I began learning 

the business and taking some initiative. 

Little by little, my hard work paid off. I soon 

found a small tenant, then a larger one, and 

then a long-term tenant, paying top dollar. 

Looking back, I can see that when I started 

honoring my dad instead of using him 

and stealing from him, my life began to 

change. When I started being faithful in 

the small things like cutting grass, my life 

became productive. It’s just like the Bible 

says in Luke 16:10, if we are faithful in the 

small things, God will open doors for greater 

opportunity. Exodus 20:12 also says if we 

honor our parents, life will go well for us. 

Although things were better at work, my 

relationship with my wife was still strained. 

We lived in the same house, but emotionally, 

I was miles away from her and our 

two children. That is, until God revealed 

Himself to me in a new way. 

With God, there are no coincidences. 

There are, however, divine appointments. 

His timing is always perfect. 

We had been attending a new church for 

over a year by then. I enjoyed the message 

every week, but I had not yet experienced 

a complete heart transformation. I was a 

hearer of the Word, but not a doer (James 

1:22). God was about to change all that. 

He was about to take Big Mike down once 

and for all. And He used my young son to 

position me for the fall. 

I had decided to stay home that Sunday. 

But then, Asher ran up to me with his 

beautiful smile and said, “Come on, Daddy, 

we’re going to church.” He was so excited; 

I just didn’t have the heart to let him down. 

There was a guest speaker that morning, 

preaching on the power of the Holy Spirit 

or, as he sometimes said, the Holy Ghost. 

This is the first time I remember hearing 

about the baptism of the Holy Spirit. 

Spirit? Ghost? Come on, man! I had no 

problem believing in Jesus, being water 

baptized, or going to church. But all this 

talk about some Holy Spirit was making 

me uncomfortable. At the end, the pastor 


invited anyone who wanted to receive the 

decisions. Liz and I had been flipping 

to God. When I’d asked God to show me 

Holy Spirit to come forward. People flooded 

houses for years, and I wondered if we 

what to do, He had. Was this what the di- 

the altar, and prayer lines formed. 

should continue. I wrestled with options, 

rection, guidance, and power of the Holy 

Looking for distraction, I surveyed the 

and then, mentally exhausted, I plopped 

Spirit was all about? It had to be. This deal 

room. I saw my buddy. Since it seemed 

on the bed. A friend had been telling me 

didn’t happen my way. It was God’s way, 

everyone else was moving around, I left 

that I needed to pray about my decisions. 

and it was better. 

my seat and made my way to him. Liz 

Maybe it was time. 

I realized, too, I was feeling differently 

stayed in our row, silently rejoicing that 

From my bed, I started talking to God. It 

about Liz. I was experiencing a love for my 

her stubborn, rebellious husband was sur- 

was raw and honest. “All right, God, here I 

wife that I had never felt before. The pastor 

rendering to God. She had been praying I’d 

am. I’m Yours. Do whatever You want. If Liz 

said the Holy Spirit would infuse me with 

encounter the life-changing power of the 

and I are supposed to keep flipping houses, 

God’s love for others. He had, and not only 

Holy Spirit for years and was sure this was 

just let me know. If not, show me what to 

for Liz but for everybody. Suddenly, I was 

my moment. But that wasn’t my intention. 

do with the money we have.” 

a hugger and lover of people too. What?! 

I weaved through the crowd and ap- 

At 5:30 the following morning, I noticed 

I loved them more than I loved myself. I 

proached my friend. “Hey, bud, what’s 

texts from my broker, Kevin. He had sent 

wanted to use my resources to bless others. 

up?” But he didn’t respond. Then I realized 

me two potential house-flip listings. I dis- 

Since Pastor Tyler prayed for me and I 

he was praying. Not only that, but he was 

regarded the texts because the houses 

surrendered my life to God, the Holy Spirit 

in line to receive the Holy Spirit’s power. 

were priced too high. We wouldn’t make 

has been at work, shining His holy spot- 

What?! 

any profit. Plus, that’s not how I got deals 

light into my heart and mind, revealing 

I turned to go back to my seat and sud- 

or found house flips. 

areas that need change. And He’s helping 

denly found myself standing in front of 

But Kevin persisted, and before I knew 

me change. He can help you too. 

Pastor Tyler, one of our campus pastors. 

it, I was standing in the driveway of this po- 

Many people wander through life, look- 

At that moment, he had become available 

tential house. I threw out a low offer, think- 

ing for a magic pill to make everything bet- 

for prayer—a divine set-up if there ever 

ing it would get shot down. But the owners 

ter. I was one of them. But I’m here to tell 

was one. 

were ripe to sell, and the deal closed within 

you, there’s only one way to bring about 

I didn’t want prayer, but I found myself 

a week. God sent us excellent workers to 

real-life change and find a life worth living. 


saying, “All right, let’s do this.” There was 

so much noise around us from people 

praying, that I couldn’t hear well. But I remember 

Pastor laying his hands on me and 

calling me out to God by first and last name. 

After his prayer, I went back to my seat and 

stood by Liz; she had tears in her eyes. 

We went home, and my mind shifted 

from the morning’s events to business 

do the work quickly. Seventeen weeks later, 

we sold the house. We still stand in awe of 

what God did with that project. 

A few days into the deal, I remembered 

the message on the Holy Spirit, the prayer 

from Pastor Tyler, and that raw prayer on 

my bed. Shocked, I realized that Kevin’s 

text had come at the exact time I’d surrendered 

my business decisions and life 

It’s through surrendering your life to God, 

building a relationship with His Son Jesus, 

and relying on His Holy Spirit’s power. The 

Holy Spirit of God is the change agent. He’s 

real, and He’s available to you. 

Big Mike died the day I surrendered. 

Since then, I’ve quit shoving my way to 

the front for the world to see. Instead, I’ve 

tucked myself away in Christ, and I’ve become 

a new man. A man filled with peace 

and love and joy. I finally understand that 

Mike is thankful 

for the faithful and 

persistent prayers 

of his wife, Liz. 

I’m enough in God’s eyes. I’ve always been 

enough, and that’s all that matters. 

And you know what? You’re enough too. 

Stop seeking man’s applause. You don’t 

have to fight to get ahead or be noticed. 

Take it from me—that’s a never-ending 

battle. Surrender your life to God and exchange 

your ways for His. When you do, the 

same power that raised Jesus Christ from 

the grave will lift you out of your dead way 

of life (James 4:10; Romans 8:11). 

MIKE WILSON is a commercial warehousing 

owner and home purchaser/renovator. An avid 

weightlifter, Mike is now in the good fight of faith, 

lifting Jesus everywhere he goes. 



19

Keep 

Pressing 

On 

BY MELISHA JOHNSON 

“I PRESS ON TO TAKE 

HOLD OF THAT FOR WHICH 

CHRIST JESUS TOOK 

HOLD OF ME. ... ONE THING 

I DO: FORGETTING WHAT IS 

BEHIND AND STRAINING 

TOWARD WHAT IS AHEAD, 

I PRESS ON TOWARD THE 

GOAL TO WIN THE PRIZE 

FOR WHICH GOD HAS 

CALLED ME HEAVENWARD 

IN CHRIST JESUS.” 

PHILIPPIANS 3:12–14 NIV 

Often there is a valley between what we 

are praying for and God’s answer, and the 

only way to get to His answer is to walk 

through that valley. The journey is rarely 

easy. Disappointment, discouragement, 

fear, and frustration challenge our faith, 

and we wonder if God has abandoned us. 

I have learned, though, that God never 

lets us walk through dark valleys alone 

(Psalm 23:4), even though it might feel 

like it at times. In the fall of 2020, I found 

myself in such a valley. 

As the COVID-19 pandemic wreaked 

havoc in the free world, those of us doing 

time behind bars were also experiencing 

new levels of anxiety and helplessness. 

When I heard of the possibility of a home 

confinement release, I half-heartedly began 

looking into it. I tried hard not to get 

my hopes up. And then I found out I was 

eligible, and I began praying constantly. 



Finally, the day I had been waiting for 

came, and my caseworker gave me a release 

date of October 28, 2020. I was overjoyed, 

and my countdown began. I couldn’t 

wait to see my precious family again. I 

could almost taste my freedom! 

And then, with just days left, my faith 

was severely tested. 

I had experienced many highs and lows 

during my ten years in the federal system, 

so this rollercoaster wasn’t new. My lowest 

point had been when the Holy Spirit 

brought me face-to-face with the person I 

had become, apart from God. This new development 

was just another dip in the ride. 

I grew up in the church, but I was a 

fraud. I hid behind masks and carried myself 

with pride and arrogance. Like 

many, I claimed with my mouth to 

know God (Titus 1:16), but I wasn’t 

a true Christ-follower in my heart. 

Most of my mistakes have 

stemmed from my insecurities. 

Since a child, I’d felt unloved, unworthy, 

deceived, and rejected— 

despite the great love many family 

members, particularly my grandparents, 

showed me. It’s a lie Satan 

sells to many of us. 

Deception ruled my life in many forms, 

including manipulation, greed, hypocrisy, 

lies, and thievery. I quickly learned that 

self-promotion and deception are exhausting 

and seldom end well. They landed me 

in prison. Of course, the Bible does warn us 

that pride goes before destruction (Proverbs 

16:18). 

It took months of isolation, loneliness, 

and despair to bring me to my knees in surrender 

to God. During a trip to the special 

housing unit, I finally quit playing games 

with God and decided to get serious about 

Him. There, I recognized my need for the 

forgiveness and grace that Jesus Christ had 

died to give me, and I embraced it wholeheartedly. 

(I shared more details in Issue 

4, 2019 of Victorious Living.) 

Blessings were waiting for me on the 

other side of that surrender—just as they 

await anyone who lays down their life at 

Jesus’s feet. 

My true and lasting transformation began 

right there in prison when I stepped 

out into a genuine relationship with the 

Lord. In His goodness, God didn’t waste 

one experience or mistake, and He opened 

doors for me to share my faith and minister 

His love and grace to other inmates. It 

was a privilege to encourage and mentor 

other women with similar struggles and 

tell them about the Savior who set me free. 

I loved serving God as I did my time, but 

I was never so naïve to think that doing 

the Lord’s work would exempt me from 

trials (John 16:33). I should have expected 

Satan to rear his ugly head right as my 

release date approached, but I was caught 

off guard when I entered that valley. 

I grew up in the church, but 

I was a fraud. I hid behind 

masks and carried myself 

with pride and arrogance. I 

wasn’t a true Christ-follower 

in my heart. 

Six days before my scheduled freedom, I 

received word from the Bureau of Prisons 

(BOP) that they had withdrawn my release 

date. They did not provide a new date or 

an explanation. The door just slammed 

shut in my face. Stunned, I slipped into a 

miserable state of uncertainty. 

I had been so confident that the Lord 

would answer my prayers favorably that 

this came as a significant blow to my faith. 

Lies from the enemy flooded my mind, 

and fear of the unknown came in waves. 

I fought to keep my eyes on my source of 

strength, reminding myself, “God did not 

bring you this far just to leave you, Melisha,” 

but I was losing the battle. 

I wasn’t the only one on this emotional 

and spiritual rollercoaster. I watched my 

incarcerated sisters deal with the same 

pain as they, too, had lost their release 

dates. I tried to encourage them, but I was 

weary myself. 

When one of my mentees got her release 

date back, a spark of excitement came alive 

inside of me...but it was short-lived. I allowed 

myself a private moment of despair 

before accepting that she would be leaving 

without me. I was hurting and disappointed 

but forced myself to dry my tears, suck 

it up, and be there to support my friend. 

One by one, all my close spiritual sisters 

went home. I stayed behind. 

I still held a tiny shred of hope that I 

would make it home by October 30, in time 

to surprise my mother for her seventieth 

birthday. When that day came and went, 

frustration and despair overtook me. 

For several nights, I cried out to the 

Lord, pouring everything out to Him and 

begging for understanding. “Why 

is this happening, Father God? I 

know You have Your reasons, but 

I am so confused!” 

I remember getting loud about it 

with Him as if He were deaf. I just 

couldn’t wrap my head around 

what was happening and why. I was 

tired and felt alone, as if everyone 

had forgotten about me. 

Interestingly, letting God know 

how confused and hurt I felt helped 

ease my despair. On the other side of my 

meltdown, I discovered His comfort (2 

Corinthians 1:4), and my emotions began 

to stabilize. 

Suddenly, it didn’t matter why it was 

happening or who was at fault. I understood 

that God was most concerned with 

my heart and my response to the situation. 

It was time for me to get it together 

if I wanted to have any peace. Psalm 37:7 

teaches us to “Be still in the presence of 

the Lord and wait patiently for Him to act” 

(NLT). I decided to do what I should have 

been doing all along—rest in God’s presence 

and trust His timing. 

I collected myself and asked God to forgive 

me for letting these circumstances 

affect my trust in Him. I began to thank and 

praise Him for all He had done in my life 

over the years. And as I worshiped Him, His 

grace and peace flowed over me, bringing 

contentment with them. 



21

“Lord,” I prayed, “I know my life is in 

Your hands. I am giving this situation to 

You and letting go” (Psalm 31:14). I felt His 

presence distinctly in that moment, and it 

comforted me. 

With fresh confidence that nothing was 

going to touch my life that did not first pass 

through His hands, I rested in Him and 

His promise that I would be okay (Isaiah 

43:1–2). I was safe in His arms. My job was 

to fix my eyes on Him and keep pressing 

forward. And as I did, peace came to my 

dark valley. 

The day I’d been hoping and praying for 

finally came. On November 18, 2020, they 

opened the prison gates for me, and I ran 

outside and into the arms of my dad and 

sister. God had shown up and worked in 

Godly friends are what 

will keep you standing 

when the way gets tough. 

my situation in a way that brought Him 

glory. No, the road getting to this moment 

was not pleasant. Still, the destination was 

pure joy as I reunited with my family. 

I struggle to describe how surreal and 

wonderful it felt to hug and hold them. I 

didn’t have to let them go for the first time 

in ten years. We stood outside the prison 

gates, holding each other, crying together, 

and embracing this God-given moment 

with our whole hearts. Then I remembered 

where I was, and I turned to my family 

and said, “C’mon y’all, let’s get in this 

car and get out of here before somebody 

changes their mind!” My dad and sister 

laughed, but I was serious. I could not get 

out of that parking lot and away from that 

prison fast enough. 

Once we were safely on the interstate, 

the first thing I did was call my son. “Can 

we do a video call?” he asked. “I just have 

to see your face, so I know that this is real.” 

That moment with my son was among 

God’s most precious gifts to me as a mother. 

It took time for me to believe that my 

freedom was true. It was so surreal. 

Unexpected realities of life in the free 

world soon set in. After a decade of imprisonment, 

I was in for a rude awakening as 

new challenges hit me head-on. 

It started with the ankle monitor they 

attached to me when I got to the halfway 

house. I knew it was coming, but wearing it 

brought a significant degree of discomfort 

and constant shame. 

I had just walked out into a world that 

was anything but ordinary. Nothing was 

familiar. I was starting life completely over, 

and I often felt like an alien who had just 

arrived on earth. 

Everything from my family to technology 

had changed. And in case these issues 

weren’t enough, the pandemic added extra 

layers of anxiety. Social distancing, face 

masks, restrictions on gathering 

in places that I had looked 

so forward to attending—there 

were so many changes. The worst 

thing was not being able to go to 

church because of COVID-19. 

Still, God had gone ahead and 

prepared the way for me. He 

knew I’d need structure and counseling 

after years of incarceration. He provided 

the right amount of both through the 

Dismas Charities halfway house. I called 

it home for over a year. They truly set me 

up for success. 

I have been out for just over a year now, 

and adapting to my new normals hasn’t 

been easy. Relying on the essential disciplines 

I developed during my time in 

prison has helped me stay focused and 

encouraged. Maintaining my daily devotions 

with God has been my top priority. 

Spending time in God’s Word and in His 

presence keeps me in peace and enables 

me to move forward. I cannot overemphasize 

the importance of studying and applying 

God’s Word to your life. Seeking out and 

walking with other Christ-followers is also 

essential. Godly friends are what will keep 

you standing when the way gets tough. 

God has graciously kept me connected 

to my church, which has been there for me 

every step of the way. When I was a teenager 

making mistakes, they loved me. When 

I was arrested and attempted to take my 

life, my pastor was right there by my side. 

During my prison sentence, they loved me 

through thick and thin, never once considering 

me a lost cause. Their love has 

modeled the unconditional, everlasting 

love of Jesus, and God used them to draw 

me to Himself (Jeremiah 31:3). 

Their seeds of faith and teaching, sown 

into my life before, during, and after incarceration, 

have kept me standing. My 

pastor, Bishop Richard Peoples Sr., has 

constantly reminded me, “Don’t let what 

you’re walking through cause you to get 

ABOVE: Melisha celebrating being reunited with her 

father outside the prison gates after being released 

in November 2020. 

LEFT: Melisha’s visits with her son were special days. 


22 Issue 02 / 2022 VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM

stuck, Melisha!” His words helped me press 

on through dark valleys. 

My pastor’s letters and teaching CDs, 

sent to me in prison, strengthened my faith 

and enabled me to help others along the 

way. When I needed someone to speak the 

truth in love or to hold me accountable, 

the Lord used him and my church family. 

They sharpened me like iron sharpens iron 

(Proverbs 27:17). And when I walked out 

of prison, their arms were open wide. I fell 

right into them. They have helped me navigate 

this new life that is so very different 

from anything I have known before. 

God has given me opportunities to pour 

into others too. It’s important to give back 

and not just seek support from others. My 

Aunt Carrie hosts a daily conference call to 

uplift and encourage others. It helps people 

start their day off on a positive note with 

God. I joined her group immediately after 

my release. Since then, I’ve had opportunities 

to cohost and share my testimony with 

the group. I never thought my story could 

Bishop Richard and Dr. Janice 

Peoples of Faith Outreach 

Christian Life Center provided 

Melisha with faithful support. 

help folks in the free world, but many have 

told me how my willingness to be honest 

and vulnerable has inspired them. It gives 

them the courage to lean into the Lord for 

strength as they face their own valleys. 

Nothing about my journey has been 

easy. I get tired. The many restrictions that 

still govern my life are overwhelming at 

times. But the Bible says that the testing 

of our faith helps us grow in endurance 

and character (James 1:3). God patiently 

continues to mold and shape me into who 

He needs me to be, so He can complete the 

plan He has for my life (Jeremiah 29:11). 

I’ve learned valuable lessons as I’ve 

pressed on through this valley with the 

Lord. There is purpose in everything, including 

my incarceration and the challenges 

I face now. God has used everything I’ve 

been through to prepare me to answer the 

call He has had on my life all along. 

My past has equipped me to do what I 

desire to do today. I want to advocate for the 

incarcerated and those recently released. 

I want to help churches understand the 

importance of consistency in a person’s 

life. We can’t just tell people about Jesus 

and then leave them to figure out life on 

their own. We must model His love and 

teach them how to have a relationship with 

Him. We must stand by people, even the 

difficult ones. They need the love of Christ 

demonstrated in tangible ways. 

Recently released from home confinement, 

I can now see the light at the end 

of the tunnel. I am excited to step into 

this new adventure of ministry with God, 

knowing that the Lord will be with me as 

He always has been. He is going before me, 

preparing the way. 

Each day, I thank God for my freedom 

as I seek Him with all my heart (Jeremiah 

29:13). Because of His great love for me, I 

want to be obedient to Him—and it feels 

like I’m finally making progress. 

I hold on to the truth that the same God 

who carried me through ten years in prison 

will be with me as I walk through every 

valley ahead. I know that the best years of 

my life are yet to come. 

Whatever you are praying for today, believe 

that the Lord will answer you (Psalm 

66:19). He will! You might not get exactly 

what you think you want or when you want 

it, but don’t lose hope. 

Circumstances often don’t make sense 

or look like they’ll turn out in your favor. 

Give Jesus your circumstances anyway and 

believe that He will perfect all that concerns 

you according to His will. He has 

your ultimate good in mind (Psalm 138:8). 

God has started His work in you, and 

just like He did in me, He will carry it on 

to completion through whatever trials you 

face (Philippians 1:6). 

In the meantime, do what I am still doing 

today. Fix your eyes on the Lord and keep 

pressing on. There is a glorious victory for 

you ahead. God will help you every step of 

the way. 

MELISHA JOHNSON walked out of federal 

prison a woman on a mission. No longer an inmate, 

she is a voice for those she left behind. Working 

with churches and prison ministries, she shares 

her experience to help them better understand the 

needs of the incarcerated. 



23


Be a 

Vessel for 

the Thirsty 

BY KRISTI OVERTON JOHNSON 

THE VICTORIOUS LIVING MINISTRY 

team was all set for our fundraising 

dinner. We had planned for our annual 

event for months, being sure to take care 

of the smallest detail. You can believe, I 

breathed a heavy sigh of relief when I finally 

completed all the items on my to-do 

list…a whole five minutes before the event 

started! 

That sense of relief vanished quickly 

when Joanna, the volunteer in charge of 

the beverage table, approached me to ask 

where the cups were. Turns out, we didn’t 

have any. 

My stomach churned as I surveyed the 

line of guests waiting for their beverages. 

Twelve gallons of freshly brewed iced tea 

were arranged neatly on the counter next 

to a cooler full of ice. But the tea and ice 

were useless without cups. 

I searched for the caterer, only to find 

that he had driven back to town to retrieve 

the forgotten items and wouldn’t be back 

for at least 30 minutes. My concern increased. 

We were already past our scheduled 

starting time, and 

the volunteers were now 

serving food. Cups or no 

cups, I had to begin the 

program. 

About ten minutes 

into my welcoming remarks, 

I saw the caterer 

hurrying across the room, cups in hand. 

The beverage crisis was over; no one would 

have to choke down their food at this event. 

The following day, I thanked God for 

His provision. Despite that stumble, we’d 

had an incredibly successful event, and 

we’d gained many ministry partners. As 

I prayed, I remembered the line of thirsty 

guests—people standing, empty-handed, 

on one side of the table and all those jugs 

of tea on the other side. 

I thought of the irony of the situation. We 

had a generous supply of tea (sweet, of 

course) for our guests. We even had a sink 

faucet containing an endless supply of water. 

But still, our guests remained thirsty. 

They couldn’t get a single drop of liquid 

refreshment because we didn’t have any 

cups. Until that night, I had never considered 

the importance of a simple vessel. I 

sensed a spiritual analogy emerging. And 

then it came. 

A long line of tired and weary people 

formed in my mind’s eye. They were 

thirsty and in desperate need of refreshment. 

Many of them were on the verge of 

collapsing and giving up on life altogether. 

And then I saw a sparkling, steady 

source of water. It was Jesus. And He was 

in infinite supply, available to the whosoevers 

of the world (John 3:15). The Living 

Water was ready to quench every thirst 

and refresh weary souls (John 4:13–15; 

7:27–39). 

Jesus was who these people needed to 

live a life of purpose here on earth (John 

10:10). He was also their security for eternal 

life in heaven (John 3:16). Jesus offered 

the answers to their questions, hope for 

people’s future, peace of mind, unconditional 

love, and endless joy. He offered 

acceptance, forgiveness, and salvation. 

But the people in the line were walking 

How can they hear about him 

unless someone tells them? 

ROMANS 10:14 NLT 

away empty-handed. Just like at my event, 

there were no vessels available to serve 

them the thirst-quenching Living Water. 

It suddenly became clear that just like 

I’d needed cups to serve beverages to my 

guests, God needs “cups” too. He needs 

vessels to take His message of salvation, 

to be His arms of love, to demonstrate His 

life-transforming power to the world. You 

and I are those vessels. 

Scores of weary people are desperate 

for Jesus, and they are coming to the table. 

They are thirsty for something other 

than what this world offers. They need the 

Living Water of God, and they need it now, 

before they lose hope. 

You and I, as believers, have the privilege 

and the responsibility to serve God’s 

Living Water to the world. If we don’t, how 

will they ever get it? How will they even 

know about it? According to Romans 10:14, 

without us as willing, living vessels, they 

can’t. And they won’t. 

Let’s ask God to open our eyes to the 

thirsty ones. We encounter them daily. 

Let’s ask Him for courage, too, to serve 

those people, with love, the Living Water 

of God through our words and actions. We 

have what this world needs; He lives in us. 

We must not keep Him to ourselves. 

KRISTI OVERTON JOHNSON encourages and 

equips people for victory through her writings, 

speaking engagements, and prison ministry. To 

learn more, go to kojministries.org. 

PHOTO BY JOMARYS LEON-LORENZO 



DON’T GIVE UP! 

BY VENNESA VIEKE 

A FRIEND OF MINE, A GARDENING EXPERT, gave me an amaryllis 

flower for Christmas in 2019. He gave me very little instruction 

with it. “Put it outside and leave it be,” he said. 

So I did. I placed it on the ground next to a tree and just let it 

be. As the season changed, the one, bright red flower on the plant 

began to die. Soon, that beautiful flower was gone, and only one 

large, long, green leaf remained. 

As the year went on, I continued to look out my window at 

the plant and wonder if it would ever bloom again. I waited and 

waited. So many times, I almost gave up and threw it in the trash. 

I could always replace it with another one, I thought. 

But for some reason, I couldn’t do it. Something told me to just 

leave it alone and be patient. Perhaps it would grow again. I had 

faith, but it was as small as a mustard seed (Matthew 17:20). 

And then it happened. Almost a year after the first flower died, 

I looked out the window and saw a speckle of red. To my excitement, 

I found a red flower in bloom. 

Days later, another bloom appeared, and a week after that, 

another one. Right before my eyes, three stunning red flowers 

flourished. And then, I saw another bud forming. I was about to 

have four flowers on that once barren plant. 

Intrigued, I examined the plant and saw that the bulb had 

burrowed its way into the ground and established its own root 

system. That system was well designed, and it provided all the 

nutrients the plant needed to grow, thrive, and bloom. 

What I witnessed in that flower felt so symbolic and spiritual to 

me. Through it, God revealed many things. First, He reminded me 

that His timing is not my own. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says that there’s 

a season for everything under the sun, and God knows the right 

time for everything in my life to bloom. 

Second, I understood better that God’s version of 

patience is not mine. For a year, I had waited impatiently 

for evidence of the flower’s viability. When 

there was none, I assumed its usefulness was gone. 

But I was wrong. God was at work bringing about a 

beautiful bloom, just like He is at work behind the 

scenes in my life bringing about exactly what I need, 

when I need it. I simply need to have faith and wait 

for Him to bring about the evidence (Psalm 5:3; 

Romans 8:25). 

Next, I learned that God is a multiplier of what is 

good. When I was given the plant, it had one small 

flower. But as the plant matured, four blossoms 

emerged. It exceeded my expectations. Likewise, God 

can multiply the good things I have planted in my life 

and far exceed my wildest dreams (Ephesians 3:20). 

Where there was once a hint of beauty, there can be a 

grand display. 

GOD KNOWS THE RIGHT 

TIME FOR EVERYTHING IN 

MY LIFE TO BLOOM. 

I also learned that growth and prosperity come 

from a well-nourished root system. The Lord reminded 

me that Jesus is the Living Water and the 

Bread of Life. As I nourish my soul with His Word and 

root myself in His love and truth, I will have the nourishment 

I need to thrive in every season and produce 

His fruit in my life (Ephesians 3:16–19). 

Finally, I learned that visible beauty is a natural 

result of this well-nourished root system. That flower 

didn’t have to think about blooming, and, if I am 

rooted in Christ and abide in Him, neither do I. The 

Holy Spirit will bring about fruit naturally that can 

impact the world (John 15:1–8). 

Do you feel like your fruitful days are over? Have 

you given up on a relationship, idea, dream, or 

career? Remember, God’s timing is not yours. He is 

at work, even now, bringing about results in your life 

with the good, God-things you have planted. All you 

have to do is stay rooted in His love and have faith. 

In His perfect timing, He will bring about much 

fruit—a display of beauty that impacts the world. 

VENNESA VIEKE is a devoted daughter of Christ, wife, and mother of two. She is 

a professional water skier in South Florida where she trains and uses her degree in 

physical therapy to teach Pilates. Vennesa is passionate about health and wellness; 

she loves to cook and create fun recipes and tell about the goodness of God. 



25

PUT 

DOWN 

THE 

WALLS 

THE STORY OF 

MARY BETH BAREFOOT 

It’s a blessing to be raised in the knowledge of Jesus and His love. It’s 

even more of a blessing when you receive it for yourself. That’s when 

God’s love heals and changes you. 

I was a preacher’s kid who, from the age of six, led worship. I stood on 

a stage with a microphone in hand and sang my little heart out. Every 

family activity revolved around the church. 

From the outside, our life seemed good. Our family did what church 

people were supposed to do, especially in serving others. But behind 

closed doors, our home life wasn’t so perfect. 

My mom was my best friend, and we had a great relationship. My father 

was a good man, but he often brought chaos into our home. 

Dad could be such a godly and gentle man, then suddenly become 

angry and harsh. Years of violent seizures brought on by epilepsy had 

impacted my father’s mental state. It seemed that each episode took a 

part of my father with it. 

Dad was a church planter, and when I was 11, our family moved to 

North Carolina to start a new church. We moved into a tiny house with 

thin walls, and I could hear every word my parents spoke. Some days, 

they argued for hours. The discord between 

them was unnerving. 

Due to his condition, Dad wasn’t supposed 

to drive. But he was stubborn and 

refused to hang up his keys, even though 

he’d had several accidents. Trips to the 

hospital were routine for our family, but 

somehow, he always emerged unscathed. 

And then, when I was 12 years old, Dad 

was in another car accident. At first, I 

wasn’t worried. “He’ll be okay,” I thought. 

He always made it home. But I soon learned 

that Dad wasn’t coming home—he had been 

killed instantly. 

News of his death turned my life upside 

down. Daddy was gone, and although life 

with him hadn’t been easy, I couldn’t imagine 

living without him. 

26 Issue 02 / 2022 

VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM

PHOTO BY OPENDOOR CHURCH 

All I could think of was our last interaction. 

We had argued that morning, and 

although I couldn’t remember our exact 

words, I knew they weren’t good. And now 

I would never have the chance to make it 

right, to say I was sorry, or to tell him goodbye. 

I felt paralyzed with shame. 

My mother was overcome with grief. 

She’d loved my father, even though their 

relationship had often been strained. They 

had been married for 24 years, and now 

he was gone. 

I hated seeing her suffer, and suddenly 

feeling responsible for her well-being, I 

decided I would be a solid anchor point 

for her from that day forward. That’s an 

enormous burden for a child to carry. 

Being an anchor required me to stifle 

my own grief. I was determined not to be 

a burden for anyone, especially Mom. So 

I put a smile on my face and went back 

to leading music at church. I did my best 

to ignore how I felt. 

I didn’t tell anyone about my pain. In 

fact, I didn’t even cry for a whole year. But 

inwardly, I was asking questions primarily 

directed at God. “Why are things like 

this? Why did Dad suffer from seizures and 

have to die? Why does Mom have to raise 

me alone?” 

And then there was the big question: 

“Why did You do this to me, God?” 

I couldn’t imagine any reason other 

than I must have done something wrong. 

Surely God was punishing me. My shame 

increased as I decided my father’s death 

must be my fault. These questions echoed 

in my heart daily, and when I didn’t get any 

answers, a seed of anger took root. Over 

time, my heart hardened toward God. 

I never doubted God’s existence, but the 

more I thought about Him, the less I believed 

He actually loved me. Bitterness took 

hold. Soon my young mind had concluded 

that God was just some guy in the sky who 

had killed my dad. I remembered the verse 

about the Lord giving and the Lord taking 

away. He had taken away, all right! 

For two years, I stewed privately. Isolation, 

coupled with anger and shame, can 

take a person down a dark road—even a 

child. I allowed steep walls to close me in 

emotionally, but few people noticed. At the age of 14, I imploded. I became 

depressed and suicidal. I began inflicting self-harm through cutting. 

Outside of the home, I put on a good front. After all, aren’t church people 

supposed to act like everything’s okay? That’s what had been modeled 

in all the churches I had attended. It seemed shameful to not be okay. 

Plus, I didn’t want all those self-righteous people judging me. The one 

person I couldn’t fool, though, was my mom. She saw through my façade. 

I was deathly afraid to be apart from her, so I stayed as close as I could. 

What if God decided to take her too? I imagined she’d get cancer or get 

in an accident. Or maybe He’d let something happen to me, and she’d 

be all alone. These scenarios plagued my mind. 

I found comfort in food, and over the next year, I gained 45 pounds. 

Of course, that only added to my shame; I became so self-conscious. 

Thankfully, Mom cared enough to take me to therapy and to see a doctor. 

Through high school, I lived on a roller coaster of emotions. In my 

higher moments, I thought about what I could do with my life. I wanted 

to make my father proud, so I decided to go to seminary. I was accepted 

and given a scholarship to attend. 

But I wasn’t there three days before I had a panic 

attack. I immediately dropped out, packed my car, and 

drove to the hotel where my mother was staying. My 

faithful companion, shame, followed me there. I mean, 

who drops out of school and forfeits a scholarship after 

three days? Only a failure, I imagined. 

Before going to seminary, I had fallen in love. He 

was my first real boyfriend, and I thought he held the 

moon. I desperately needed someone to love me, to 

think I was great, and to tell me I was beautiful. I found 

all those things in him. Before long, we were engaged. 

I applied to a local college, determined to get a degree 

in something—anything. About the same time, I 

started attending a new church, Opendoor. 

It was the first time I remember being ministered 

to by others in the church. I had always been on the 

stage singing, even when going through dark moments. 

But there in that seat, still before the Lord, 

God’s Spirit touched me. I began to weep as years of grief, shame, and 

pain erupted from my soul. 

Open before the Lord, I sensed Him revealing how He had created me to 

worship Him. He had given me a gift. I was caught off-guard by the Lord’s 

comforting presence and His small, still voice. Maybe He wasn’t a big guy 

in the sky who was out to get me after all. I sensed Him inviting me into an 

authentic relationship with the Creator of the universe. And I accepted. 

For the next six months, the Spirit of God began to bring light and 

order to the darkness of my life, just as He had to the world in Genesis 

1:2. And then, gently, He began to deal with me about my fiancé. 

I knew this guy wasn’t God’s choice for me, but at 19, getting married 

seemed like the thing to do. There were many warning signs, but I stubbornly 

ignored them. I also ignored the godly wisdom of others. As a 

result, I experienced trauma that brought much shame back into my life. 

I became that shut-off, scared-to-death, 12-year-old girl all over again. 

And I no longer sensed God’s presence or the work of His Spirit in my life. 

I NEVER 

DOUBTED GOD’S 

EXISTENCE, 

BUT THE MORE 

I THOUGHT 

ABOUT HIM, THE 

LESS I BELIEVED 

HE ACTUALLY 

LOVED ME. 



27

IT’S OKAY 

TO NOT 

HAVE 

ALL THE 

ANSWERS. 

IT’S OKAY 

TO ADMIT 

THAT 

YOU’RE NOT 

OKAY. 

I know now that God’s Spirit didn’t leave me—I had turned from Him. 

Like Adam and Eve, I had hidden from God because of my shame (Genesis 

3:8). I kept attending church, but I closed off my heart from God and 

other people. Thankfully, God pursued me. 

During a season of corporate prayer and fasting at our church, I sensed 

the Lord’s presence again. Inwardly, I heard Him speak to me about my 

relationship with my fiancé. “If you marry him, I’ll bless you,” the Lord 

said. “But if you don’t marry him, I’ll abundantly bless you.” 

It was like God was saying to me, “Hey, I see you, child. I know your 

thoughts, fears, and desires. I know your pain, too, and I want to take 

that pain from you. I also want to bless you beyond your wildest dreams. 

“Mary Beth, I’m not angry with you. I’ve never been angry, nor am I a 

God who punishes you by taking away your father or causing other bad 

things to happen. I am the giver of life who has good things in store for 

you. But know this: this marriage will not lead to the abundant blessings 

I have in store for you.” 

Not long after, I broke off the engagement. But I continued to date my 

now boyfriend for almost a year longer. God had given me a way out, 

permission to leave, but I hadn’t taken it. 

I stayed with him for several more months. I wanted out, but I couldn’t 

find the courage to end the relationship because I believed the lie that 

no one would ever love me but him. 

Fear and shame kept me bound. Satan loves to hold us hostage to 

deadly emotions so that we isolate ourselves from God’s love. 

Thankfully, God highlighted my fragile self to leaders at my church, 

and they took me under their wings. I felt safe with them and let down 

the walls around my heart. Being with these authentic Christ-followers 

helped me find the courage to choose God’s best for my life, and I finally 

left that unhealthy relationship. 

Allowing myself to feel and face emotions with God and His people 

brought healing. The minute I put down the façade and said, “No, I’m 

not okay,” was when God’s complete and 

tangible presence became so evident. And 

in His presence, I was made whole. 

I wish I could say that I don’t ever experience 

shame or unworthiness anymore. I 

can’t—those emotions still raise their ugly 

heads now and then. But God has stayed 

close and continually helps me unravel my 

thought patterns so that I can tear down 

the shame-filled lies and rebuild my mind 

on His truth. 

And here’s the truth. God was never 

punishing me; He was never angry at me. 

Now on the other side of that pain, I can 

see God’s constant love and presence in 

my life. He’s always been there guiding, 

protecting, and providing for me, even 

during the dark, painful moments of my 

life. The Holy Spirit has held my hand and 

fought my battles. 

And God has been faithful to His promise 

and abundantly blessed me. One blessing 

is the healthy relationship I now have with 

a godly man. He loves me as God intends 

and encourages me in my relationship with 

the Lord. 

I pray you will choose God’s abundant 

blessings. If you’re afraid, ask the Holy 

Spirit to help you. Philippians 2:13 promises 

that God will not only give you the 

desire to follow Him, but the power to do 

what pleases Him too. 

You are not alone. God is holding your 

hand and fighting your battles. Embrace 

that truth and open yourself to Him. You 

can trust Him with your past, present, and 

future. Those who trust in the Lord will 

never be put to shame (Isaiah 49:23). 

Don’t fall into Satan’s trap and isolate 

yourself from God. And don’t settle for Satan’s 

lies. Come out of hiding. It’s okay to 

not have all the answers. It’s okay to admit 

that you’re not okay. The moment you put 

down your walls and open your heart to 

God, you’ll find freedom and healing. Processing 

trauma and emotions takes time, 

but it is worth the investment. 

MARY BETH BAREFOOT serves on the creative 

team at Opendoor Church. She shares her story in 

hopes that people will overcome shame and step 

into healthy, authentic relationships with God and 

His people. 

PHOTO BY THERESA GOLDEN 



Trust God, Even When 

You Don’t Understand 

THIS STORY TOOK PLACE during my 

incarceration, and it taught me a spiritual 

lesson that helped me through some of 

the most questioning times in my spiritual 

walk. I believe it can help you in your 

journey with the Lord as well. 

I remember that day like it was yesterday. 

I had been asked to pray for a guy that 

I had never seen in the chapel before. He 

had just received the terrible news that his 

mother was in an ICU and not expected 

to live. So I laid my hands upon him and 

started praying. Immediately, I heard the 

word “kidneys” come up in my spirit. 

Now, I won’t speak for everyone, but 

kidneys aren’t what first comes to mind 

when I think of someone dying. I quickly 

decided to step out in faith and believe that 

I was hearing from God. And I prayed for 

his mother’s kidneys. 

As soon as the word “kidneys” left my 

mouth, I felt him tremble under my hand. 

BY KORY GORDON 

When I finished praying, he looked at me 

and said, “I know that was from God because 

I never told you that my mother is 

dying from double kidney failure.” 

Listen, at that moment, I felt like I had 

the faith to walk on water. Excitement and 

boldness flooded through my veins. I was 

convinced that his mother was going to 

step out of that hospital room miraculously 

healed. The following week, I shared the 

testimony with everyone in the chapel. I 

boldly told them God would heal the guy’s 

mother. But then, sadly, a couple of days 

later, she died. 

News of her death was like a punch to 

the gut. Not only did I hurt for this guy 

who’d just lost his mother, but I was confused 

and ashamed. I had stood before a 

chapel full of men and made a fool out of 

myself. I prayed for understanding, but it 

seemed as if God had gone silent. 

Still, I continued with my mini stry. One 

day the guy who had lost his mother came 

into the chapel. As I looked at him, I heard 

the Lord say to my spirit, “It was never 

about her. It was about her son.” 

Suddenly, understanding filled my 

heart. This guy, before our prayer together, 

hadn’t wanted anything to do with God. 

Now, he was involved in every Christian 

activity the chapel offered. Every time I 

saw him, he had a Bible in his hand. He 

had even committed to moving into the 

faith-based dorm. 

When the Lord first spoke the word “kidneys” 

to me, it wasn’t because He was going 

to heal her. That was my assumption, 

and I was wrong. Instead, God was pursuing 

one of His lost sons. And He was using 

this difficult situation to lay hold of the 

guy’s heart by revealing to him that God 

was real and present in his life. My prayer 

for his mother’s kidneys had ignited his 

faith and drawn him into a relationship 

with Christ. 

I learned an important lesson from this: 

We can trust God even when things don’t 

go our way or when we don’t understand 

why something happened. 

We only get to see a small portion of the 

picture God is painting. His thoughts are 

higher than our thoughts, and His ways 

are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:8–9). 

We simply must not lean on our limited 

understanding (Proverbs 3:5–6). We have 

to rest on the simple truths that He is God 

and He loves us. 

Maybe you’re going through a difficult 

season right now. Maybe your heart is 

overwhelmed as you search for answers. 

Remember, in this life, you will only know 

in part, but God sees the whole picture, 

and He is at work behind the scenes. You 

can be confident in Him, for He is the 

all-seeing, all-knowing, and all-powerful 

God. And that same God loves you! 

KORY GORDON spent 11 years in incarceration, where he 

gave his life to Christ. He is now an evangelist, sharing the Good 

News that set him free. In 2021, he founded Damascus Road, a 

nonprofit residential discipleship program battling addiction, 

recidivism, and homelessness. Email damascusroad2021@ 

gmail.com for more info. 



29

THE STORY OF DEBBIE SANDERS 

we don’t take our pain to the ed time alone to think, so I decided to go 

Lord, we can be destroyed. for a drive to clear my head. Before long, 

I learned this the hard way I noticed a white truck following closely 

through an unexpected and behind me. The driver flashed his lights. 

violent attack on my person. I didn’t process 

the event well and, over the years, my right, so I decided to turn, hoping the driver 

I grew uneasy. Something didn’t feel 

mental and physical health suffered. I internalized 

stress and eventually developed the turn behind me, and I decided to go to 

would continue straight. Instead, he made 

viral arthritis and depression. It was to the my friend Sarah’s house, who lived just a 

point that I was barely able to get out of bed short distance away. Surely when I pulled 

before God intervened and helped me find into her driveway, whoever was behind me 

freedom from my self-inflicted prison of would be scared away. 

anger, frustration, self-pity, and resentment. 

His love led me to a place of peace. light was on. I swung the car into her drive- 

I was relieved to see that Sarah’s garage 

I had been raised in the church and had way, hopped out, and quickly made my 

received Jesus as my Savior when I was way to her front porch. But before I could 

11. As an adult, I went to church regularly reach the steps, the man who’d been driving 

the truck jumped me and threw me to 

and called myself a Christian. But it wasn’t 

until these dark times happened that my the ground. The last thing I remember is 

need for a personal relationship with the him sitting on top of me and reaching for 

Lord came to light and I finally became his belt. 

aware that Jesus was my only hope out of “He’s going to rape me,” I thought, and 

the darkness. 

then everything went black. 

Thankfully, my church family and I have no idea how much time passed or 

friends were praying for me. Their prayers what happened to me in those moments. 

sustained me. I could sense the Lord’s love When I came to, I was sitting in my car, 

keeping me close. 

alone and confused. I took inventory of 

There is so much to this part of my story, my surroundings and saw my purse and 

but the details are not relevant here. I was keys sitting on the seat next to me. Nothing 

a struggling single mom, facing difficult had been stolen. 

challenges. I didn’t think life could get any “Pull yourself together!” I told myself. 

worse, but then the unthinkable happened. Then the words, “Get to Pam’s house,” 

I was worried for my safety, but I need- 

came to mind. Pam was a dear friend who 

worked at the hospital. She would know 

what to do. 

I cranked the car and started driving toward 

her home. As I went, I became disoriented 

and felt like I was driving in a maze. 

“God, help me!” I prayed. It was about 

a five-mile drive to Pam’s, a very familiar 

route, but I knew if God didn’t intervene, I 

wasn’t going to get there. 

After I prayed, God Himself or perhaps 

an angel must have taken the wheel. In the 

blink of an eye, I was at my destination, and 

I have no idea how I got there. I believe I 

was in and out of consciousness during 

that time. 

When I pulled into Pam’s driveway, she 

was in her front yard talking to Sarah, who 

happened to be visiting. Amazingly, Sarah 

had been at Pam’s house while I was being 

attacked in her front yard. 

Pam looked confused as I called out to 

her from my rolled-down car window. She 

later told me that she had recognized my 

car, but not my face. 

“Debbie, is that you? Oh my God!” Pam 

screamed and ran toward me. Fortunately, 

I hadn’t looked in the rearview mirror, so 

I had no idea how badly I’d been beaten. 

My face was disfigured and covered with 

blood. Pam got me out of the car and assessed 

the situation. Then she and Sarah 

rushed me to the hospital. 

Soon, detectives were standing by my 

bed, asking questions to which I had no 

answers. The hospital staff administered 

a rape kit. It returned negative, but my face 

was fractured and cut in many places. 

Bad news travels fast, especially when 

you live in a small town. My church family, 

friends, and even strangers who had 

heard of the attack began praying for my 

physical and emotional healing. God heard 

those prayers, and He moved in miraculous 

ways. 

The first evidence of that was the incredible 

speed at which I healed physically. A 

mere two weeks after the attack, my face 

was completely whole. Not one scar was left 

behind from the attack. Also, I suffered no 

lingering physical pain or headaches from 

the beating. The doctors were amazed, as 

were those who came to visit me. Everyone 


could see that God was at work as my face 

Proverbs 3:5–6 promises that if I trust 

all the [places] where he has scattered you.” 

healed right before their eyes. 

the Lord and refrain from depending on 

(Deuteronomy 30:3 NLT). He picked up my 

The Lord also healed me emotionally, 

my own understanding and seek His will, 

pieces and made me whole. He will do the 

although this healing took longer than the 

God will show me the path to take. He did, 

same for you. 

physical one. As you can imagine, a vicious 

and He will help me walk that path too. God 

It’s interesting to me that the morning of 

physical attack also inflicts many invisible, 

is always faithful to His Word. 

the attack, I had asked God for a powerful 

emotional scars. Fear, anxiety, and a deep 

Since the day I trusted Him, I have been 

testimony. I had wanted to be able to stand 

need to understand tormented me. 

able to move forward in life. I still don’t 

before people and share His goodness. 

I wanted answers. I had been attacked 

know the how, why, who, or what, and 

Well, now I can. 

and had almost lost my life. Why?! It was 

maybe that’s God’s way of protecting me. 

Please don’t misunderstand. I am not 

terrifying to know that whoever was behind 

Who knows? But here’s what I do know: I 

saying that God sent that man to attack me. 

the attack was roaming free, and it was un- 

don’t need all the answers when I have the 

The enemy wanted to destroy me; God is 

just. But God intervened and released me 

Lord. My relationship with Him and the 

the giver of life. But God used that experi- 

from that emotional prison as well. 

peace He gives me is way more important 

ence to help me know His faithful love in 

Most people would say I deserved an- 

than fighting for my rights. His peace is my 

new ways. The experience has also given 

swers and justice. But was my right to know 

power. He is the protector of my heart and 

me more compassion for others. 

the answers and to obtain justice worth 

mind (Philippians 4:7). 

As you trust the Lord with your pain, you 

my health and sanity? Was it worth iso- 

Whatever you’ve been through, I want 

will come to know His love and comfort too. 

lating myself in a prison of bitterness and 

you to know that God loves you. You can 

Don’t forget to share your story. Tell others 

revenge? And then God laid before me a 

trust His love for you. He knows what hap- 

how the Lord put your shattered life back 

choice of life or death. 

pened to you, and He cares. 

together. People need to know that He is 

He said, “Debbie, you can trust Me, or 

Sometimes after we go through terrible 

alive and able to restore their lives. You 

you can lose your mind. Which will it be?” 

abuses, rejections, and traumatic events, 

have a unique experience that can help 

In a moment of clarity, I suddenly un- 

we are tempted to believe that God doesn’t 

them see that truth. Ask God to help you. 

derstood that continuing down this road 

love us or that He is absent. I see it differ- 

He will place His power on your words and 

of “rights” would cost me and those I loved 

ently now. God was not missing the day I 

make them relatable so they can penetrate 


everything and would bring much trouble 

(Hebrews 12:15). 

Godly counseling helped me process my 

thoughts and choose God’s better way. I 

took my need to know and my desire for 

justice and handed them over to Him, 

trusting that He would fight my battles and 

provide any answers I needed. As a result, 

I found peace of mind. 

was attacked. He was right there with me, 

protecting, helping, and healing me. God 

is the only reason I am alive. 

He is the reason you are still alive too. 

Don’t be fooled. Every day, countless people 

are destroyed because they believe the 

lie that God doesn’t care. They fight for 

answers and revenge, and in the process, 

they imprison themselves. Don’t be one of 

the hearts of others. With God, your story 

will draw many people to His saving grace 

and defeat the enemy (Revelation 12:11). 

It’ll be scary at first. I was terrified the 

first time I shared my testimony in front 

of a group of people. But as I persevered, 

the Lord helped me, and several came to 

know the God of comfort for themselves 

(2 Corinthians 1:3–7). 

them. Choose to trust God and live. 

Remembering God’s faithfulness in the 

Don’t forfeit the good things God wants 

past will strengthen your faith and enable 

to give you now by hanging on to your past. 

you to face new trials. Trusting God will 

Surrender your questions, your accusers, 

bring you to a place of protection, heal- 

and even your attackers to the Lord. Cry 

ing, and peace. It is the key to unlocking 

out to Him, the only One who can vindicate 

the door of your self-inflicted emotional, 

you (Psalm 57:2–3). 

mental, and physical prisons. 

There are some injustices you’ll never 

Give God the pieces of your depressed 

be able to right, but God can. And that’s 

and shattered life and let Him restore you 

His job. What’s your job? 

to wholeness. 

Your job is to trust and obey Him and to 

pray for, forgive, and bless your enemies 

(Matthew 5:44, 6:12, 18:21–22). It’s not 

easy, but it’s worth the reward. 

As you obey Him, “the Lord your God 

will restore your fortunes. He will have 

mercy on you and gather you back from 

DEBBIE SANDERS retired from a 33-year career 

at East Carolina University and now ministers the 

hope of Jesus through music and the sharing of 

her miraculous story in the US and abroad. She is 

a wife, mother, and grandmother who has a heart 

for evangelism and introducing others to the 

restorative power of Jesus Christ. 



31


Restored 

to Usefulness 

I HAVE HEARD THAT ONE 

person’s junk is another person’s 

treasure. One of my favorite 

hobbies is to wander 

through thrift stores looking 

for a bargain. The aisles contain 

things that might qualify 

as junk to some, but for some 

reason, their previous owner 

donated them instead of dumping 

them. I love it when I find 

something that I need or that I 

know I might use. On a recent 

treasure hunt, I found an old 

guitar collecting dust behind 

a counter. I recognized it right 

away as a Yamaha. 

The color of the wood of an 

acoustic guitar can help identify 

its age. The older the guitar, 

the richer the tone. By the dark, 

almost orange tint of this one, 

I could tell it had seen many 

years and plenty of tough times. 

It looked water damaged and 

had a large crack in its upper 

side. Its neck was bowed, and 

residue caked its strings. Despite 

these blemishes, I decided 

that this old Yamaha needed a 

home and some tender love and 

care. With a little negotiating, 

I bought it for $60. The case I 

carried it home in looked even 

worse than the guitar itself. 

I took my new treasure to my 

favorite guitar repair guy, Bobby. 

He’s a master at repairing 

instruments. He looked it over 

and shook his head. 

“Bad, huh?” I asked. 

“Not good,” he replied. “I 

think we can fix her up so she’ll 

at least be playable though.” 

“That’s all I want.” I left 

knowing the old guitar was in 

capable hands. 

Two weeks later, the repairs 

were complete. I was excited 

to go pick up my restored 

treasure. 

BY KENNY MUNDS 

Bobby had a big smile on his 

face when I walked in. “Try her 

out and tell me if she’s okay.” 

I was more than pleased. 

Bobby had worked a miracle 

to bring the old instrument 

back to life. To top it off, he only 

charged me for the strings. Talk 

about God’s favor in action! 

My “new” Yamaha has a 

beautifully rich sound and a 

renewed purpose. I even take 

it to prison events and tell this 

story during my performances 

to encourage those who think 

a restored life is out of reach. 

Many people think there’s no 

hope, that God couldn’t possibly 

want or use them for anything 

good. But 1 Corinthians 

6:20 says, “You were bought at 

a price. Therefore honor God 

with your bodies” (NIV). 

Every one of us is in bad 

shape before we are “purchased” 

by God through the 

blood of His precious Son. 

We might feel beaten down, 

tossed aside, and abandoned 

with little hope, but when we 

put our faith in Jesus, we put 

ourselves into the hands of the 

master repairman. No matter 

what dark place we’ve come 

from, He gives us lives full of 

meaning and purpose that we 

never thought possible. 

I’ve witnessed this hundreds 

of times in the lives of people 

I have ministered to. I’ve seen 

lost souls surrender to Jesus 

behind prison walls, and as 

they grow older and wiser and 

their roots in the Lord grow 

down deep, their knowledge 

and perception deepen as 

well. They become beautiful 

instruments that God uses to 

teach and mentor the younger 

inmates coming in fresh off the 

street. 

Jesus warned us that we 

would not live without difficulty, 

but we can all cling to 

the promise that He will restore 

us, confirm us, strengthen us, 

and establish us by His grace 

(1 Peter 5:10). 

Occasionally, I’ll take my 

old Yamaha guitar in to repair 

a crack here and there. In the 

same way, sometimes life causes 

damage to me—and when it 

does, I make another visit to the 

foot of the cross, and I pray that 

I will remain a useful instrument 

despite the wounds I’ve 

suffered. 

Do you need restoration? It 

doesn’t matter whose fault it 

is or how you got to where you 

are—in God’s eyes, you are not 

junk. Your life is valuable to 

Him. If you are willing to put 

everything that is damaged into 

the hands of the master repairman, 

He will keep His promise 

to clean you up and make you 

new and useful once more (2 

Timothy 2:20–21). 

KENNY MUNDS takes the good 

news of God’s love and forgiveness 

into prisons across America. To 

learn more about his ministry, go to 

kennymundsministry.org. 


GOING DEEPER: 

Be Courageous 

On page 26, you read the story of Mary Beth 

Barefoot’s lifelong struggle with emotional 

instability and how she isolated herself 

from others and from God. Eventually, she 

realized she was trapped behind walls she 

had built for herself and needed help to 

break free. 

God patiently waited for Mary Beth to 

invite Him into her life. She had to face the 

shame, anger, bitterness, and fear that were 

keeping her from receiving God’s best for 

her life. She had to become vulnerable, first 

to God, and then to others. 

But when she took that leap of faith, 

God healed her wounded heart and set her 

free. She was no longer a prisoner to her 

emotions. 

Do you ever feel distant from God? From 

others? Are you isolating yourself? Why? 

List a few reasons: 

1. 

2. 

3. 

Whatever you are facing, God already 

knows about it. He encourages you to bring 

everything to Him. God is ready to help you 

in every way. 

Look up the following verses about courage 

in the Bible. Write them out, then med- 

itate on them and ask the Lord to fill you 

with His strength and courage. 

Deuteronomy 31:6–8 

Joshua 1:6, 9 

1 Chronicles 28:20 

Psalms 23:1; 27:14; 31:24 

Isaiah 41:10, 13 

Philippians 4:13 

2 Timothy 1:7 

Hebrews 4:16 

God has a lot to say about trusting Him 

with your burdens and fears. He’s here to 

set you free, so let your walls down. Mary 

Beth received blessings when she opened 

herself to the Lord; you will too. 

DO YOU NEED REST? 

“Come to me, all you who are 

weary and burdened, and I will 

give you rest.” —Matthew 11:28 NIV 

Jared Emerson, Artist, jaredemerson.com 

Do you need rest? Peace? Freedom? Forgiveness? Restoration? 

Call out to Jesus, accept Him as your Savior, and be made whole. 

Pray: “Jesus, I invite You into my life. I confess that I am a sinner in 

need of a Savior. Thank You for saving me from my sins and making 

me whole. Thank You for laying down Your life for me so that I can 

have a new life in You. I receive, by faith, this forgiveness of sin. Take 

my life, my past and my future. Guide my steps and speak to my 

heart, Lord. Use me, God. Amen.” 

Let us know of your decision so we can help you grow in your faith. 

Write to: VL Correspondence, PO Box 2751, Greenville, NC 27836. 



33

WHAT NOW? 

I’ve Accepted God’s Salvation. 

Now What? 

PERHAPS AFTER READING the stories in this magazine, you’ve surrendered your life to 

Jesus. Congratulations—it’s the most important decision you will ever make! But you might 

be wondering, now what? Here are five ways to ensure spiritual growth. Remember, the 

Christian life is a journey that brings lifelong transformation. 

1. PRAY. Talk to God about everything and listen for His response. You don’t need fancy 

words, just a sincere heart. 

2. STUDY THE BIBLE. God’s Word contains all the instructions we need for life. Get into 

a Bible study and discover new revelations daily. See below for free resources. 

3. GET BAPTIZED. Although baptism is not a requirement of salvation, the Bible 

clearly tells us that we are to be water baptized after salvation. Baptism symbolizes 

our dying to sin and being raised to a new life in Christ Jesus (Romans 6:4). Prison 

restrictions may make immersion by water difficult, so get creative and let the Holy 

Spirit reveal how you can take this step of obedience until immersion is possible. 

4. FIND CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY. Join a local congregation of Christ-followers. If 

incarceration makes attending church difficult, fellowship with other believers the 

best you can. They will help you stand strong and keep you accountable. 

5. TELL SOMEONE. Share your decision to follow Christ and tell them what He has 

done for you. And then, tell us! We’d love to hear from you. 

RESOURCES 

Below are opportunities for free Christian-based 

resources for both English- and Spanish-speaking 

inmates and chaplains. When you contact the 

addresses below, tell our partners VL referred you. 

VICTORIOUS LIVING 

Personal correspondence available in English and Spanish. 

Bulk copies of VLMag are available for jail and prison 

libraries at chaplain’s request. 


2ND OPPORTUNITY 

Reentry and employmentreadiness 

programming, 

and job and housing 

referrals for inmates in 

jails and prisons 

upon request. 

970 N. Oaklawn Ave. 

Suite 302 

Elmhurst, IL 60126 

CLI PRISON ALLIANCE 

Personal discipleship 

studies by mail for inmates 

in jails and prisons; 

free Christian books and 

Bibles for libraries at 

request of chaplain or 

authorized personnel. 

PO Box 97095 

Raleigh, NC 27624 

RESCUED NOT ARRESTED 

Free NIV Bibles, Bible study 

correspondence course, and 

NIV Life Application Study Bible 

upon completion of study for 

inmates in jails and prisons. 

Call: 602-647-8325 

PO Box 90606 

Phoenix, AZ 85066 

GLOBAL LEADERSHIP 

SUMMIT 

Bring world-class 

leadership training 

and tools to your facility 

through The GL Summit 

and GL Network. Write to 

GlobalLeadership.org. 

PO Box 3188 

Barrington, IL 60011 

34 

WWW.VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM 

VICTORIOUSLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM

VL - Issue 43- April 22

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