2022 Issue 3 May/Jun - Mid-Tenn magazine

Serving the Middle Tennessee LGBT+ Community and its Allies | MAY+JUN 2022 

Fresh Air! 

DISCOVER 

BIRDWATCHING 

IN NASHVILLE 

PLUS BLACK 

BIRDERS WEEK 

NASHVILLE GENDER 

& SEXUALITY 

ALLIANCE 

CREATING NEW, DIVERSE 

QUEER SPACES FOR 

OUR COMMUNITY 

BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS 

FOR NAVIGATING A 

LOSS OF FAITH 

FREE

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the team 

PUBLISHER 

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focuslgbt.com | Fresh Air! 5

22 

CONTENTS | MAY+JUN 2022 

13 

7 

8 

ASK 

10 

THEME: FRESH AIR 

ALLIE 

Am I still bisexual if I’m married to a man? 

LGBT ADVOCATE 

Meet the co-founders of Nashville’s Gender 

& Sexuality Alliance who are working to build 

queer community outside of the bar scene 

13 COMMUNITY 

Birdwatching updates and resources in 

Middle Tennessee. Plus—Black Birders 

Week 2022 is coming up! 

16 FAITH+SPIRITUALITY 

Deconversion book recommendations for 

navigating a loss of faith 

19 LIFE 

Poignant coming out stories from both 

halves of a beautiful couple 

22 HOROSCOPES 

What do the stars have in store for us 

this May and June? 

ON THE COVER 

19 

Barred Owl at Radnor 

Lake State Park 

photo by Chellie Bowman 

6 Fresh Air! | focuslgbt.com

theme 

Outdoor public spaces have always been integral to the celebration and activism of our community. 

The above photo is from the 2nd Annual Memphis Pride, 1981. 

Photo courtesy of OUTMemphis collection, Special Collections Department, University of Memphis Libraries. 


life 

Dear 

Allie... 

Am I Still Bisexual? 

by Star McGill Goudey 

Dear Allie, 

I am a 34-year-old woman in a happy hetero 

marriage who has only ever dated men. After going 

to therapy to heal some traumas and discover myself, 

I have come to recognize that I am bisexual. It is 

something that I sensed off and on but filed away as 

an impossibility. I love my husband and our life that 

we’ve built over the years. He is very supportive of 

me. I don’t think I want to pursue any kind of open 

relationship although we have discussed it. However, I 

feel like a fraud. Am I still bisexual if I've never even kiss 

a woman? 

Yours, 

Am I A Fraud? 

Dear AIAF, 

I am so happy that you are exploring more deeply 

who you are as a human. It’s hard work sometimes to 

know yourself! First, I want to assure you that you are 

very valid, even if you never physically explore same 

sex attraction with another human. You aren’t a queer 

imposter! I also applaud you for having the courage to 

reach out. I think part of the soul rending struggle when 

coming out later in life is recognizing our own validity. I’ve 

thought a lot about the word audacious lately. It takes a 

lot of audaciousness to own who we are, and to do the 

work required to fully embrace it. It sounds like you have 

a great start on that since you have been in therapy. With 

that in mind, I can offer you some concepts that can 

start you on your journey of acceptance. Have you heard 

of compulsory heterosexuality? This is what many late 

comers to their queer identities have discovered caused 

the disconnect between who they are truly and who they 

sculpted themselves to be. 

Many of us have grown up with compulsory 

heterosexuality (comphet), which may be more accurately 

described as internalized heteronormativity. We learned 

growing up that the only way to happiness and a picket 

fenced yard looked like one man and one woman. If we 

felt attraction or interest in a human of similar gender 

to us we were told that was just how best friends are 

with each other. That we were to cultivate relationships 

with the opposite gender and if there weren’t sparks 

that was okay because its normal not to have a wild sex 

life in marriage. But that isn’t the reality of the human 

experience. Not when it is removed from the lens of our 

cultural norms. When humans are free to be human and 

explore their individual desires and needs the outcomes 

become a rainbow of possibilities. And this is where I 

believe you can find some peace within yourself. 

You are bisexual. Even if you never flirt with a woman. 

Even if you never kiss a woman. Even if you never talk to 

another woman. You are bisexual because you recognized 

within yourself the desire and attraction which is a mind 

and body function that can’t be faked. This is something 

many bisexuals question themselves about. It can help to 

meet some of them and converse about experiences. 

Finding a community is important, virtually, at a local 

club, gay places of business like certain coffee shops. 


Look for local Pride events close to you. You could 

explore your curiosity by reading WLW romance novels 

and watching movies. Becoming part of a local or online 

community is so helpful and aids the sense of belonging. 

I know many humans have delved into their attractions 

and curiosities on TikTok through the pandemic. It is 

where I have been able to hear and interact with more 

LGBTQ+ people than I have ever known. People are 

putting themselves out there and talking about their 

own journeys and emotions and solutions. It is a virtual 

community. You just have to get settled into the right 

algorithm. 

Remember that identifying yourself as bisexual is 

to claim yourself as bisexual. Nothing else is required. 

What is required is that you are loving yourself and being 

true to yourself and that you are being your own best 

friend and advocate. Say it! I am bisexual! I am bisexual! 

Go outside and scream it to the universe, buy a cake 

and blow out candles, and then maybe purchase some 

rainbow gear. 

Whatever you decide, be audacious about YOU! 

Your friend, 

Allie 

To submit your own question, email Allie at 

allie@focuslgbt.com. Focus Mid-South reserves the right 

to edit letters for length and clarity. 

Organize 

Educate 

Advocate 

We need volunteers throughout the 

community to fight for equal rights! 

TNEP.org 

Equity has been our focus 

from the tornado recovery to the COVID-19 

response, access to assistance and support 

does not look the same for all businesses and 

communities. We are dedicated to an inclusive 

and equitable Nashville, where the 

marginalized have an advocate and support. 

Our membership is open to all and we are 

here for you. Join us today. 

We represent over 500+ Corporations, Entrepreneurs, & 

Small Businesses who want to keep Nashville OPEN & EQUAL. 

Shutterstock 

advocate. educate. connect.

lgbt advocate 

Building Queer 

Community 

with Nashville GSA 

by GK Gurley 

GSA co-founders Michelle Sciarappa 

and Lauren Horbal 

photo by Emily April Allen 


Queer people need 

queer communities. We 

need queer spaces of all 

shades and varieties, but 

for many of us in Middle 

Tennessee, our options to 

meet queer people outside 

of the internet are generally 

limited to a gay bar or 

sporadic special events that 

are rare and hard to find. 

Many areas of Tennessee are 

growing, and accessibility to 

queer communities need to 

grow with them. Because of 

the pandemic, creating and 

building new queer spaces 

has prove challenging 

and costly, but two brave 

Nashville souls have created 

something special: an 18 and 

up Gender and Sexuality 

Alliance. 

Michelle Sciarappa (they/ 

them/theirs) and Lauren 

Horbal (she/her/hers) met 

in college. Desperate to 

meet other queer peers, the 

two of them founded their 

university’s GSA chapter. 

“It was the most affirming 

experience I’ve ever had,” 

Michelle said. “GSA was 

what I woke up excited 

about every day, it was my 

life blood, I found myself 

and my skills through it. I 

also found my best friend.” 

Michelle and Lauren have 

been best friends ever since, 

and as they graduated and 

moved on to their careers 

in social work and music 

respectively, they both 

had the itch for building a 

GSA that extended beyond 

students, adolescents, and 

young adults. 

Michelle explained that 

their vision for Nashville 

GSA was the same as that of 

their university GSA: “We as 

people never stop needing 

a community that values 

and understands us. GSAs 

are an intentional space 

for LGBTQ+ people. They 

can be critically important, 

even life saving.” The only 

requirement to participate 

in their meetups is to be 18 

or older and to identify as 

LGBTQ+ in some way. 

Beyond being an 

organization for queer 

people to meet and build 

community, Nashville GSA is 

intentionally sober. Michelle 

and Lauren explained the 

need for different types of 

queer spaces, stressing that 

we cannot solely rely on 

night life. 

“We are proud of our 

local bars and clubs,” said 

Michelle, “we know their 

legacy is important and 

they certainly meet a need 

for our community. We also 

know that our demographic 

struggles with addiction at 

remarkably higher rates due 

to a variety of factors. In 

response to this reality, we 

created a space that offers 

queer community minus the 

atmosphere of substances. 

We want to support queer 

people in recovery because 

we need one another.” She 

added a small but crucial 

point that the bulk of queer 

events in Nashville are late 

night events, and there is 

an obvious need for earlier 

evening options. 

While Nashville GSA is 

intentionally sober, it is 

not a recovery program. 

Michelle is an excellent 

social worker, but GSA 

is centered on making 

connections and building 

friendships. Lauren’s 

vision for highlighting this 

distinction was to add a 

variety of programming to 

their meetups. Before the 

pandemic, GSA meetings 

could include yoga, 

improv workshops, writing 

workshops, self defense 

classes, cookie decorating, 

open mics, etc.—all kinds 

of activities to meet the 

diverse interests of our 

community. Unfortunately, 

Nashville’s queer scene 

often lacks these types of 

events, which are necessary 

spaces for all types of 

queer people to come 

together. Most, if not all, of 

these workshops are led by 

LGBTQ+ people in these 

fields as well. 

Like the rest of the world, 

COVID-19 impacted GSA’s 

programming. Lauren 

explained that community 

engagement has always 

been a pivotal GSA priority, 

and after lots of trial and 

error during the pandemic, 

GSA is developing solid 

programming again. 

“There are so many 

wonderfully talented people 

who have been generous 

enough to donate their 

time and energy to our 

group in a variety of ways,” 

said Horbal. “Before the 

pandemic hit, we were 

fortunate enough to have 

Carol Improv be guests 

at one of our meetings. 

We also had community 

members lead us in yoga, 

meditation, and a selfdefense 

course. We look 

forward to continuing this 

in 2022! Some things we 

have on the books for this 

year include a “free market” 

(clothing, plants, books, 

and household items to 

swap!), a potluck at the 

lake, and an emergency 

preparedness course. Check 

out our Instagram account 

@nashvillegsa to see a full 

schedule of our upcoming 

events and feel free to reach 

out if you have something 

you’d like to share with 

us! Everyone has gifts to 

share and I look forward to 

meeting queer Nashvillians 

who are looking to build 

community through running 

and participating in our 

events.” Other upcoming 

items on the schedule are 

an open mic night and 

gathering to walk in the 

Pride parade. Follow their 

social media and sign 

up for their newsletter 

for date/time/location 

announcements. 

Wherever you are in 

Tennessee, Nashville 

GSA is for all of us, so 

take advantage of their 

virtual meetups. There is a 

consistent member base, 

but each meeting they have 

hosted has always had at 

least one new person, and 

your level of involvement 

is completely up to you, 

no cost or commitments. 

Michelle and Lauren are 

hoping to host more 

outdoor events as we 

move into springtime. For 

all other inquiries, email 

nashvillegsa@gmail.com. 


community 

Birdwatching 

in Nashville 

+ 

Black Birders Week 

by GK Gurley 

Ranger Dameon Fontenot handles 

a curious Red-tailed Hawk 

photo courtesy of Dameon 


Nashville is no stranger 

to state parks and nature 

reserves. The rolling hills 

and riverbanks are lush, 

and many locals value their 

well-kept gardens. Many 

different kinds and species 

of birds are drawn to these 

landscapes, making Middle 

Tennessee a beautiful place 

for birdwatching. 

This spring, Radnor Lake 

State Park hosts an extra 

special bird sighting: a 

bald eagle's nest with two 

hatched eaglets. Visible 

from the main paved route 

along the lakeside, the park 

first noticed the arrival 

of the adult eagles last 

January. The pair mated in 

December of 2021 and built 

their nest in 2022. This is the 

first successful nesting pair 

in the park’s history. 

Tennessee State Park 

Ranger Dameon Fontenot 

has gotten to know these 

eagles well. 

“Throughout the week, 

you can catch a ranger 

with a scope looking at 

the nest on Otter Creek 

Road or on Lake Trail at the 

Nan Addams observation 

deck,” said Fontenot. “My 

favorite moment during 

these programs is seeing 

the visitors’ faces when I 

tell them there is a bald 

eagle nest right here in the 

park. It’s a combination 

of excitement and 

bewilderment.” 

Fontenot explained that 

on average, eagles stay in 

the nest for ten to twelve 

weeks. The park anticipates 

that the eaglets will fly the 

nest around mid-June. If 

you miss your chance to see 

them, Fontenot expressed 

that he imagines they will be 

back next year. 

“Observing these eagles, 

from courtship to now 

having two eaglets, has 

been one of the highlights 

of my time here,” said 

Fontenot. He has also 

observed hawks, herons, 

and a plethora of wildlife 

that call Radnor Lake home. 

Fontenot has a spectacular 

camera and scope, so 

be sure to stop by, ask 

questions, and see some 

remarkable close-ups. 

Another remarkable 

birding destination in 

Nashville is Owl’s Hill Nature 

Reserve. With rescue owls 

in their care on top of being 

an ideal habitat for wild 

owls, the views of their 

rolling hills and hiking trails 

make for excellent birding. 

While Radnor Lake is also 

a nature reserve, it is a 

state park, and Owl’s Hill 

is privately owned. It was 

initially bought and founded 

by the Cheek family and is 

a well-maintained nature 

sanctuary. Because it is 

private, you do have to 

pay to enter. A day pass 

is five dollars, but I would 

recommend the weekend 

guided hike for twelve. 

Certified naturalists take 

you through hiking trails, 

discussing local plant and 

animal life as they go. 

Or, you could attend an 

exhibition show featuring 

their rescued owls. The 

owls’ cages are all next 

to the reserve’s main 

offices and trail heads, so 

regardless of what activity 

you chose, you will not miss 

Shakespeare the Barred 

Owl and his other rescue 

friends. 

All one needs to start 

birdwatching are their eyes 

and a sense of curiosity. 

From deep forests to creeks 

and rivers, a diverse array 

of birds can be spotted day 

or night throughout Middle 

Tennessee, whether you are 

in a park or staring out of 

your workplace windows. 

There are numerous 

ornithological and naturalist 

organizations, groups, and 

meetups that are great 

resources, of course, but 

birdwatching can take many 

shapes and forms. 

It may come as no 

surprise to you to hear 

that BIPOC folk are 

disproportionately profiled 

and antagonized in parks 

and on hiking trails. 

In 2020, after a black 

man in New York was 

harassed and threatened 

while birding, a group of 

concerned scientists and 

biologists decided that it 

was time to bring attention 

to Black birders on a global 

scale and launched Black 

Birders Week. 

For a week at the end of 

May and beginning of June, 

which in 2022 is May 29 

to June 4, biologists and 

experts host virtual events 

open to the public. The 

creators of Black Birders 

Week are Corina Newsome 

(@hood_naturalist on 

instagram, and trust me, 

you want to follow her!) and 

the team with her at Black 

AF in STEM Collective, a 

gathering of Black scientists 

in various STEM fields 

working to amplify Black 

voices in the sciences. 

Another notable scientist 

in this collective is Nicole 

Jackson, founder of Black in 

National Parks Week. 

Not only are those in the 

Black AF in STEM Collective 

working to keep parks safe 

for people of color, they 

are also passionate about 

community education and 

access. Since Black Birders 

Week started after the 

pandemic hit, their events 

have all been held virtually, 

which is something they 

plan to continue because it 

allows them to engage with 

people all over the globe. 

For a specific list of Black 

Birders Week events, check 

their website and Instagram 

(@blackafinstem). The 

theme for 2022 is “Soaring 

to Greater Heights”. On 

the opening day, the main 

topic is being Black in 

nature. Each successive 

day discusses the stages of 

a bird's life in order: first, 

they’ll discuss nesting, then 

learning to fly, coming back 

to roost, etc. 

If you are looking to 

learn more about birding in 

Tennessee, visit Tennessee 

Ornithological Society’s 

calendar of events at 

tnbirds.org. If you are 

looking to take a deep dive 

into learning about the 

environment around you, 

the Tennessee Naturalist 

Program is a ten month 

course. You might become 

one of the naturalists who 

lead the Owl’s Hill hikes! Go 

to blackafinstem.com for 

more information on Black 

Birders Week, and say hi to 

Ranger Dameon Fontenot 

when you go see the 

Radnor Lake eagles. 


Caught on Camera at Radnor Lake 

Black-crowned Night Heron 

photo by Dameon Fontenot 

Blue-gray Gnatcatcher 


One of the adult eagles 

nesting at the lake 

photo by Dameon Fontenot 

Pileated Woodpecker 


Wild Turkeys 



faith+spirituality 

DECONVERSION 

BOOK RECS: 

A Resource List for Those 

Grappling with a Loss of Faith 

by Tiffany G. Day 

Religious deconversion, succinctly defined, is the loss of one's faith in a given religion. 

What is left out of the definition, however, is that the circumstances of the loss, the personal 

significance of one's faith, and the ubiquity of the religion in one's life mean that the emotional 

and psychological effects of deconversion may take myriad, complicated forms: an unmooring 

severance, a life-saving escape, a gentle relinquishing, a profound disillusionment, a liminal state 

between religions or between types of faith. Deconversion can feel like all of these at once—a 

kaleidoscopic experience of grief, anger, relief, indifference, gratitude. For many queer folx, 

deconversion can be a necessary first step to coming out. It is always an opportunity to start 

anew; it is loss that inspires finding. 

Listed below are a few companion titles for a loss of faith, particularly loss of a fundamentalist 

Christian faith, which is so prevalent in our region and, unfortunately, a common source of 

religious trauma from which many in the queer community suffer. We hope these selections 

offer the comfort that comes from seeing your own experiences reflected in that of others' and 

guidance for navigating a loss of faith and its myriad, subsequent findings—religious or not. 

Empty the Pews: Stories of Leaving the Church 

ed. by Chrissy Stroop & Lauren O'Neal 

This anthology brings together original and previously 

published essays from a diverse group of writers on their 

experiences with leaving fundamentalist Christianity and with 

religious trauma. Taking a moral stance against the harmful 

fundamentalist and authoritarian varieties of Christianity, 

the editors chose pieces that also highlight intersections of 

queerness, spiritual/religious abuse, faith loss, and courage. 


Leaving the Fold: A Guide for Former Fundamentalists 

and Others Leaving their Religion 

by Marlene Winell 

Leaving the Fold is a self-help psychology book for recovery 

from the effects of an authoritarian religion (particularly 

fundamentalist Christianity). Written by a psychologist with 

over 30 years of experience working with clients recovering 

from harmful religious ideologies, herself included, Dr. Winell 

is known for coining the term and concept "Religious Trauma 

Syndrome." 

Leaving Fundamentalism: Personal Stories 

ed. by G. Elijah Dann 

The personal stories in this collection offer numerous and 

varied glimpses into the thoughts and feelings that leaving 

fundamentalist Christian churches can entail—the good and the 

bad. For many of the contributors, though their deconversions 

are still raw, they also describe how their lives are continuing on 

post-religious fundamentalism. 

Leaving the Witness: Exiting a Religion and Finding a Life 

by Amber Scorah 

In Leaving the Witness, Scorah describes how her 

experiences as a covert Jehovah's Witness missionary in China 

ultimately led her to leave the faith she had once so ardently 

held. This deconversion created a rift between her and her 

family and home community, leaving her to navigate this new 

life alone. This rift, along with another subsequent personal 

tragedy, prompted a need for more ways to make meaning 

without the framework of her religion. 

Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a 

Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free 

by Linda Kay Klein 

Described as a blend of memoir, journalism, and cultural 

commentary, Klein provides an inside look at religious purity 

culture, which has its roots in white evangelical Christian 

churches, and the harm it has caused. Including her own 

account of healing, she offers hope for finding freedom and for 

possibilities of sexual and spiritual reconciliation. 


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life 

Dionne 

Millie 

by KeOnte Criswell 

photo by Alexandsuzannephotography.com 


When we don’t have a 

shared lived experience with 

others, it can cause us to 

develop a blind spot. When 

that happens, we tend to 

lack compassion for the 

ways the people around us 

are struggling. Until recently, 

I’d considered myself to be 

very open and accepting. 

That made me blind to 

how difficult it was for my 

LGBTQIA friends and family 

to come out and be out. In 

an effort to understand and 

get educated, I sat down with 

one of my closest friends, 

Dionne, and her wife, Millie, 

and asked if they would share 

their stories with me. 

Dionne is one of the most 

loyal and loving people I 

know. In over two decades 

of friendship, I’ve never 

heard her once say an 

unkind word about anyone, 

no matter how she felt 

about them. Admittedly, 

I had no idea during our 

time on active duty that 

Dionne was gay. I found out 

on Facebook after she and 

the Air Force parted ways. 

Through this interview I 

came to understand that 

just living life as she is, sans 

fanfare or announcements, 

is just part of the package. 

I’d never met her wife, Millie, 

before this interview. I knew 

that if Dionne loved her, she 

must be incredible. After 

speaking with her, incredible 

doesn’t even begin to 

describe her. She’s a vibrant, 

fascinating, and energetic 

being that just lights up 

whatever room she’s in. I 

could not imagine anyone 

not loving everything about 

her. Little did I know that 

once she began her story, 

this beautiful stranger 

with whom I had no prior 

emotional connection, would 

take me on a ride that would 

break my heart and then put 

it together again. 

Tell me about how you 

came out. 

Dionne: I guess I was 

attracted to women since 

elementary school. Of 

course, that was during the 

‘80s. I never even thought 

about coming out. I didn’t 

know what the hell coming 

out was. But I had the 

feelings. I got to high school 

and had my first experience. 

I had a couple of girlfriends. 

I had this one particular 

girlfriend that wrote me a 

letter. I brought the letter 

home. I don’t know how but 

my mom found the letter. 

I can’t remember exactly 

what it said but I denied 

everything. I said I don’t 

know why this girl wrote 

me that letter, I don’t like 

girls. I denied that ****. This 

was right before I joined the 

Air Force. When I left, I just 

did what I did. They didn’t 

see it, so it was like, out 

of sight, out of mind. But 

gradually over the years, I 

would bring girls home here 

and there. Once you’re of 

age, it’s really whatever it 

is, that’s what it is. My mom 

wasn’t happy about it. 

At what point did you finally 

tell her? 

I never verbally said it to 

my mother. She just became 

acclimated to it over the 

years. With me not living at 

home since 19 or so, I didn’t 

have to worry about them 

(the family). I was just doing 

what I did. 

Was it difficult for you to 

navigate life on active duty? 

Because it was “don’t 

ask, don’t tell,” I couldn’t do 

certain things on base. But I 

was still seeing people and 

dating people. 

Millie, did you actually come 

out? 

Millie: I didn’t come out, I 

was outed. My mom found 

out because she saw me 

in a car in a compromising 


position with the girl I was 

seeing at that time. 

That must have been 

awkward. 

She didn’t really react 

in a negative way. She just 

told me to make sure that 

whoever I was with treated 

me right. 

Your parents weren’t 

together by that time, 

correct? How did your dad 

find out? 

They weren’t together 

then. I was living with my 

dad full-time. One morning 

as I was sleeping, he came 

into my room with some 

McDonald’s breakfast for 

me. He also had a camera. 

At the time, I didn’t put 

two and two together. I 

was just sitting there eating 

my McMuffin. He said he’d 

been taking some pictures 

and he wanted to look 

at them. He said, “I was 

scrolling through them and 

I saw this one”. It was a 

picture of me sitting in my 

girlfriend’s lap. I just told 

him I was sorry he had to 

see that. He asked who she 

was, I told him that was my 

girlfriend. I never lied about 

it, I didn’t deny it. 

How did he react? 

He didn’t find it amusing 

or to be a good thing, at all. 

He started telling me how 

I was taught better than 

that and I’d gone to too 

many Christian schools and 

I know my bible too well 


to be dating girls. He said 

maybe he needed to rethink 

letting me go to Xavier 

because they had too many 

gay people as it is. He said 

I was going straight to the 

pits of hell. 

Wow! 

I only had my permit at 

the time, and he took all 

of my driving privileges 

away. Now he wanted to 

drop me off and pick me 

up and during that time, 

he would just berate me 

and tell me I was going to 

hell. I remember one time 

I told him I’m not talking 

about this anymore. I 

don’t understand what the 

problem is because I’ve 

always been like this. How 


can you tell me there’s a 

God up there, that is all 

love, and he would create 

millions of gay people and 

then hate them and send 

them to hell? That's not a 

loving God. 

Over time, it just became 

worse and worse. I tried to 

avoid any conversations 

about it. But he was not 

avoiding anything. It 

didn’t matter if it was the 

middle of the night, if I was 

brushing my teeth, he was 

talking about it. And then 

he got to the point where 

when anything went wrong 

in his life, things that didn't 

have anything to do with 

me at all, he would blame 

me being gay. And that's 

the reason why everything 

was going south. 

An incident occurred 

that resulted in me packing 

up whatever I could and 

leaving like a thief in the 

night to my girlfriend's 

house. We hadn't even 

been dating for six months. 

I didn't talk to my daddy 

for two years after that 

happened, which allowed 

me to, you know, start to 

kind of build a little bit of a 

relationship with my mom. 

When me and my girlfriend 

broke up four years later, 

I moved in with my mom. 

And when I finally did 

start to build a relationship 

with my dad again, it was 

conditional. We could have 

a relationship, but I had to 

“not be gay.” So I didn't 

really talk about it. When 

I finally started dating 

someone else, he was a 

little bit more accepting 

of her because she was 

feminine presenting. We 

looked like we could be 

just two friends hanging 

out or two sisters out or 

whatever. It didn't bother 

him as much because 

everybody wouldn't look 

at me and immediately 

see “gay” because I wasn’t 

with someone who “looked 

gay.” And he would always 

tell me, “I’m going to pray 

for your soul like any good 

parent would and make 

sure I tell you what's right 

and wrong and let you 

know that what you’re 

doing is going to send you 

to hell.” We went through 

all that rigmarole up until 

2019. That year, I sat my 

daddy down and told him I 

was moving here. And I was 

like, I'm moving to DC, to be 

with my girlfriend. 

Dionne and I got engaged 

in October that year. I told 

my dad, hey, I'm getting 

married. When it was time 

for me to invite him to the 

wedding, he was like, oh, I 

thought you were already 

married. Why would I get 

married and not invite you 

to my wedding... please! 

Even though I always 

thought my dad isn't 

coming to a (gay) wedding, 

he is not walking me down 

the aisle, I already know 

that. That's okay. I had 

come to a place of peace 

when it came to him not 

really being in my life. Little 

did I know, he was combing 

through his Bible trying to 

figure out how he could 

make it to this wedding. 

So, the night before the 

wedding, my daddy 

drove 20 hours to DC, 

told nobody, and was like, 

I'm here. You’re where?? 

(Recalling this moment 

elicited the sweet girlish 

giggle of a true daddy’s 

girl). He came all the way 

to DC from Louisiana to be 

at my wedding. We're in a 

great place now. 

I wish I had the coming 

out story that was all 

loving and everybody 

just accepted me. I wish 

it didn't take years for my 

coming out story to come 

to a completion. But I 

was 34 years old. My dad 

has finally got to a point 

where he accepts me and 

accepts Dionne. He calls her 

daughter now. 

What would you tell 

other people who may be 

experiencing what you did 

before you were out? 

You have to learn how 

to set boundaries. Also 

speak up for yourself to 

your parents, which is very 

hard. Usually your family 

is the one who is inflicting 

the most trauma and pain 

on you with their own belief 

system. I need people to 

know that you can do it. 


at the 

Lipstick 

Lounge 

HOROSCOPES 

Astrology Readings by Minnassa 

TAURUS 

Element:w Earth 

Quality: Fixed 

Ruling Planet: Venus 

Traits: Intelligent, 

hardworking, kind, honest, 

organized, and reliable 

New Moon in Taurus: 

April 30th (Solar Eclipse) 

APRIL 20 - MAY 20 

Now that we are full steam ahead 

in spring, this is a great time to be 

outdoors and to be moving our 

body with sports and play. The Sun, 

Moon, and planet Mercury are out 

and proud and affecting all signs this 

month. Taurus season begins with a 

Solar Eclipse, and ends with a Lunar 

Eclipse. The solar eclipse brings 

opportunities for unexpected new 

beginnings and new paths. On the 

other hand, the lunar eclipse brings 

fated endings and the potential for 

either breakdowns or breakthroughs. 

Honey but that ain’t all. Mercury 

will also go retrograde this month. 

Hmm... all signs will benefit from 

tapping into their inner grounded 

and reliable Taurus energy to 

manage the communication glitches 

and misunderstandings associated 

with Mercury Retrograde. 

GEMINI 

Element: Air 

Quality: Mutable 

Ruling Planet: Mercury 

Traits: Social Butterfly, loyal 

partner & friend, open & 

honest, daring & bold 

New Moon in Gemini: 

May 30 

MAY 21 - JUNE 20 

Not to be outdone by all the 

solar and lunar magic that 

happened in May. June hosts the 

powerful Summer Solstice and 

has a Super Full Moon smack 

dab in the middle of the month. 

It is also a time to celebrate 

freedom: Happy Pride & Happy 

Juneteenth! Summer garden 

parties and freedom celebrations 

are wonderful opportunities for 

all signs to tap into their inner 

Gemini social butterfly energy. 

Saturn begins its annual four 

month retrograde and gives 

us the opportunity to review & 

reassess where we are currently 

in our lives and to reconnect with 

our purpose. 

Minnassa Tarot Professional and Reiki Healer • minnassa.com • Text: 901.257.9816 • @minnassa

CROSSWORD 

LGBTQ+ FIRSTS ON SNL 

ACROSS 

1 Circumcise clumsily, e.g. 

5 Family group 

9 Opposite of heads 

14 Earthenware jar 

15 First-rate 

16 Shrek and others 

17 “Brothers & Sisters” 

producer Ken 

18 Tara portrayer Collette 

19 Woody secretion 

20 First out lesbian to join 

the cast 

23 ”Xanadu” band, for short 

24 Home, to Dave Pallone 

25 Lure into wrongdoing 

29 Along the back 

31 Hrs. in P-town 

32 Charlottesville sch. 

33 Hand, when measuring a 

stallion 

34 First queer host 

38 Kahlo's cash 

40 Peter Rabbit's sisters 

41 Phallic swimmers 

42 Duck hunter's boots 

44 Deviate 

45 First queer musical guest 

48 Sodom suffix 

49 “Queen of Soul” Franklin 

50 Lack of get-up-and-go 

54 ___ tai (rum cocktail) 

55 First out queer host 

58 Breakfast staple 

60 Dana of _MacGyver_ 

61 Errol Flynn's “The Sun 

___ Rises” 

62 Nightlife district of London 

63 Danes of “Romeo + Juliet” 

64 Body passageway 

65 Part of MIT (abbr.) 

66 Rubbers on rims 

67 What a computer may spit out 

DOWN 

1 Made a romantic connection 

2 Irving Berlin song. 

3 Projection a under the hood 

4 Lucci in “All My Children” 

5 “Boo!” from the stands, e.g. 

6 They aren't everything 

7 Lennox of the Eurythmics 

8 “No” to a “lesbisch” 

9 City of Glad Day Bookshop 

10 One who often screws actors 

11 Apr. 15 letters 

12 Bloomers worn around 

the neck 

13 Taxpayer's ID 

21 CEO's degree 

22 Chicken hawk pads 

26 Twelve-inch stick 

27 St. Teresa's town 

28 Family flower? 

30 “Oh, shut up!” 

31 Bette Davis feature of song 

35 Head output 

36 Sad ending for love 

37 Rita, in a Beatles song 

39 Younger daughter of Michelle 

43 Tongue that's a little different 

44 Banana stalk 

45 English king who was a queen 

46 Home of Bloody Mary's mom 

47 Sounds from a stallion 

48 Accustoms 

50 Words of empathy 

51 ___-Whirl (amusement 

park ride) 

52 Atlas blow-up 

53 Place where a Greek 

would speak 

56 Weight loss product 

57 Home st. of Maupin 

59 Karen Walker, perhaps 

FIND THE SOLUTION 

ON PAGE 18

2022 Issue 3 May/Jun - Mid-Tenn magazine

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