Emotional inteligence
88/661for instance, so highly valued in the workplace is thekind of sensitivity that allows effective managers to pickup tacit messages. 13In recent years a growing group of psychologists hascome to similar conclusions, agreeing with Gardner thatthe old concepts of IQ revolved around a narrow band oflinguistic and math skills, and that doing well on IQtests was most directly a predictor of success in theclassroom or as a professor but less and less so as life'spaths diverged from academe. These psychologists—Sternbergand Salovey among them—have taken awider view of intelligence, trying to reinvent it in termsof what it takes to lead life successfully. And that line ofenquiry leads back to an appreciation of just how crucial"personal" or emotional intelligence is.Salovey subsumes Gardner's personal intelligences inhis basic definition of emotional intelligence, expandingthese abilities into five main domains: 141. Knowing one's emotions. Self-awareness—recognizinga feeling as it happens —is the keystone of emotionalintelligence. As we will see in Chapter 4, the ability tomonitor feelings from moment to moment is crucial topsychological insight and self-understanding. An inabilityto notice our true feelings leaves us at their mercy.People with greater certainty about their feelings arebetter pilots of their lives, having a surer sense of how
89/661they really feel about personal decisions from whom tomarry to what job to take.2. Managing emotions. Handling feelings so they areappropriate is an ability that builds on self-awareness.Chapter 5 will examine the capacity to soothe oneself, toshake off rampant anxiety, gloom, or irritability—andthe consequences of failure at this basic emotional skill.People who are poor in this ability are constantly battlingfeelings of distress, while those who excel in it canbounce back far more quickly from life's setbacks andupsets.3. Motivating oneself. As Chapter 6 will show, marshalingemotions in the service of a goal is essential forpaying attention, for self-motivation and mastery, andfor creativity. Emotional self-control—delaying gratificationand stifling impulsiveness—underlies accomplishmentof every sort. And being able to get into the "flow"state enables outstanding performance of all kinds.People who have this skill tend to be more highly productiveand effective in whatever they undertake.4. Recognizing emotions in others. Empathy, anotherability that builds on emotional self-awareness, is thefundamental "people skill." Chapter 7 will investigatethe roots of empathy, the social cost of beingemotionally tone-deaf, and the reasons empathy kindlesaltruism. People who are empathic are more attuned to
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they really feel about personal decisions from whom to
marry to what job to take.
2. Managing emotions. Handling feelings so they are
appropriate is an ability that builds on self-awareness.
Chapter 5 will examine the capacity to soothe oneself, to
shake off rampant anxiety, gloom, or irritability—and
the consequences of failure at this basic emotional skill.
People who are poor in this ability are constantly battling
feelings of distress, while those who excel in it can
bounce back far more quickly from life's setbacks and
upsets.
3. Motivating oneself. As Chapter 6 will show, marshaling
emotions in the service of a goal is essential for
paying attention, for self-motivation and mastery, and
for creativity. Emotional self-control—delaying gratification
and stifling impulsiveness—underlies accomplishment
of every sort. And being able to get into the "flow"
state enables outstanding performance of all kinds.
People who have this skill tend to be more highly productive
and effective in whatever they undertake.
4. Recognizing emotions in others. Empathy, another
ability that builds on emotional self-awareness, is the
fundamental "people skill." Chapter 7 will investigate
the roots of empathy, the social cost of being
emotionally tone-deaf, and the reasons empathy kindles
altruism. People who are empathic are more attuned to
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