Emotional inteligence
70/661After transferring to a private school, Jason graduatedtwo years later at the top of his class. A perfect grade inregular classes would have given him a straight-A, 4.0average, but Jason had taken enough advanced coursesto raise his grade-point average to 4.614—way beyondA+. Even as Jason graduated with highest honors, hisold physics teacher, David Pologruto, complained thatJason had never apologized or even taken responsibilityfor the attack. 1The question is, how could someone of such obviousintelligence do something so irrational—so downrightdumb? The answer: Academic intelligence has little todo with emotional life. The brightest among us canfounder on the shoals of unbridled passions and unrulyimpulses; people with high IQs can be stunningly poorpilots of their private lives.One of psychology's open secrets is the relative inabilityof grades, IQ, or SAT scores, despite their popularmystique, to predict unerringly who will succeed in life.To be sure, there is a relationship between IQ and lifecircumstances for large groups as a whole: many peoplewith very low IQs end up in menial jobs, and those withhigh IQs tend to become well-paid—but by no meansalways.There are widespread exceptions to the rule that IQpredicts success—many (or more) exceptions than cases
71/661that fit the rule. At best, IQ contributes about 20 percentto the factors that determine life success, which leaves80 percent to other forces. As one observer notes, "Thevast majority of one's ultimate niche in society is determinedby non-IQ factors, ranging from social class toluck." 2Even Richard Herrnstein and Charles Murray, whosebook The Bell Curve imputes a primary importance toIQ, acknowledge this; as they point out, "Perhaps afreshman with an SAT math score of 500 had better nothave his heart set on being a mathematician, but if insteadhe wants to run his own business, become a U.S.Senator or make a million dollars, he should not putaside his dreams.... The link between test scores andthose achievements is dwarfed by the totality of othercharacteristics that he brings to life." 3My concern is with a key set of these "other characteristics,"emotional intelligence: abilities such as beingable to motivate oneself and persist in the face of frustrations;to control impulse and delay gratification; toregulate one's moods and keep distress from swampingthe ability to think; to empathize and to hope. UnlikeIQ, with its nearly one-hundred-year history of researchwith hundreds of thousands of people, emotional intelligenceis a new concept. No one can yet say exactly howmuch of the variability from person to person in life's
- Page 20 and 21: 20/661species. 2 Seen from the pers
- Page 22 and 23: 22/661But Bobby Crabtree and his wi
- Page 24 and 25: at the Crabtree household. In short
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- Page 36 and 37: 36/661the family unit and the long-
- Page 38 and 39: 2Anatomy of an Emotional HijackingL
- Page 40 and 41: moment passes, those so possessed h
- Page 42 and 43: 42/661feeling, as well as any feeli
- Page 44 and 45: 44/661It is in moments such as thes
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- Page 48 and 49: 48/661LeDoux overturned the prevail
- Page 50 and 51: original signal goes straight from
- Page 52 and 53: messages from the brain to regulate
- Page 54 and 55: 54/661memories date from the first
- Page 56 and 57: 56/661falling—illustrates the pow
- Page 58 and 59: sensory information that have not b
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- Page 68 and 69: PART TWOTHE NATURE OFEMOTIONALINTEL
- Page 72 and 73: course it accounts for. But what da
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- Page 86 and 87: you get that are essential for inte
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- Page 90 and 91: the subtle social signals that indi
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- Page 94 and 95: 4Know ThyselfA belligerent samurai,
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- Page 100 and 101: 100/661Temple University, to assess
- Page 102 and 103: 102/661Gary was emotionally flat, c
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- Page 106 and 107: 106/661Elliot's tumor, growing just
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70/661
After transferring to a private school, Jason graduated
two years later at the top of his class. A perfect grade in
regular classes would have given him a straight-A, 4.0
average, but Jason had taken enough advanced courses
to raise his grade-point average to 4.614—way beyond
A+. Even as Jason graduated with highest honors, his
old physics teacher, David Pologruto, complained that
Jason had never apologized or even taken responsibility
for the attack. 1
The question is, how could someone of such obvious
intelligence do something so irrational—so downright
dumb? The answer: Academic intelligence has little to
do with emotional life. The brightest among us can
founder on the shoals of unbridled passions and unruly
impulses; people with high IQs can be stunningly poor
pilots of their private lives.
One of psychology's open secrets is the relative inability
of grades, IQ, or SAT scores, despite their popular
mystique, to predict unerringly who will succeed in life.
To be sure, there is a relationship between IQ and life
circumstances for large groups as a whole: many people
with very low IQs end up in menial jobs, and those with
high IQs tend to become well-paid—but by no means
always.
There are widespread exceptions to the rule that IQ
predicts success—many (or more) exceptions than cases