Emotional inteligence
518/661from the basics for yet another course. So an emergingstrategy in emotional education is not to create a newclass, but to blend lessons on feelings and relationshipswith other topics already taught. Emotional lessons canmerge naturally into reading and writing, health, science,social studies, and other standard courses as well.While in the New Haven schools Life Skills is a separatetopic in some grades, in other years the social developmentcurriculum blends into courses such as reading orhealth. Some of the lessons are even taught as part ofmath class—notably basic study skills such as how to putaside distractions, motivate yourself to study, and manageyour impulses so you can attend to learning.Some programs in emotional and social skills take nocurriculum or class time as a separate subject at all, butinstead infiltrate their lessons into the very fabric ofschool life. One model for this approach—essentially, aninvisible emotional and social competence course—isthe Child Development Project, created by a team directedby psychologist Eric Schaps. The project, based inOakland, California, is currently being tried in a handfulof schools across the nation, most in neighborhoods thatshare many of the troubles of New Haven's decayingcore. 4The project offers a prepackaged set of materials thatfit into existing courses. Thus first graders in their
519/661reading class get a story, "Frog and Toad Are Friends,"in which Frog, eager to play with his hibernating friendToad, plays a trick on him to get him up early. The storyis used as a platform for a class discussion about friendship,and issues such as how people feel when someoneplays a trick on them. A succession of adventures bringsup topics such as self-consciousness, being aware of afriend's needs, what it feels like to be teased, and sharingfeelings with friends. A set curriculum plan offers increasinglysophisticated stories as children go throughthe elementary and middle-school grades, giving teachersentry points to discuss topics such as empathy,perspective-taking, and caring.Another way emotional lessons are woven into thefabric of existing school life is through helping teachersrethink how to discipline students who misbehave. Theassumption in the Child Development program is thatsuch moments are ripe opportunities to teach childrenskills that are lacking—impulse control, explaining theirfeelings, resolving conflicts—and that there are betterways to discipline than coercion. A teacher seeing threefirst graders pushing to be the first in the lunchroomline might suggest that they each guess a number, andlet the winner go first. The immediate lesson is thatthere are impartial, fair ways to settle such pint-size disputes,while the deeper teaching is that disputes can be
- Page 468 and 469: 468/661The good news: there is ever
- Page 470 and 471: Learning these emotional skills at
- Page 472 and 473: 472/661study allows a clean compari
- Page 474 and 475: 474/661observed that these girls "h
- Page 476 and 477: 476/661Ben then stalks off to his e
- Page 478 and 479: 478/661being sad, angry, or mischie
- Page 480 and 481: make the difference—even when all
- Page 482 and 483: 482/661the circle of friendship wit
- Page 484 and 485: 484/661One current scientific theor
- Page 486 and 487: 486/661helped ease their anxiety or
- Page 488 and 489: 488/661treated for addiction to her
- Page 490 and 491: 490/661core of resilience to surviv
- Page 492 and 493: ineffective. A few, to the chagrin
- Page 494 and 495: 494/661Those children who got the m
- Page 496 and 497: 496/661anxiety. A key ability in im
- Page 498 and 499: 16Schooling the EmotionsThe main ho
- Page 500 and 501: 500/661children who are faltering a
- Page 502 and 503: ingrained; as experiences are repea
- Page 504 and 505: A POINT OF CONTENTION504/661But as
- Page 506 and 507: 506/661could also be part of lighte
- Page 508 and 509: 508/661spiral into aggression. Whil
- Page 510 and 511: These are the topics of gripping im
- Page 512 and 513: 512/661responsibility for decisions
- Page 514 and 515: 514/661twenty thousand people emplo
- Page 516 and 517: bring in pictures of a person's fac
- Page 520 and 521: negotiated. And since that is an ap
- Page 522 and 523: 522/661Such interventions work best
- Page 524 and 525: 524/661school, Hamburg notes, are a
- Page 526 and 527: 526/661By fourth and fifth grade, a
- Page 528 and 529: 528/661into incidents like the hall
- Page 530 and 531: 530/661I don't try to do the negati
- Page 532 and 533: 532/661important for those prone to
- Page 534 and 535: New Haven schools, when teachers fi
- Page 536 and 537: 536/661responsible adults volunteer
- Page 538 and 539: 538/661such as problems with girlfr
- Page 540 and 541: 540/661The story seems innocuous en
- Page 542 and 543: • Better able to express anger ap
- Page 544 and 545: 544/661becoming better friends, stu
- Page 546 and 547: 546/661happens as children build th
- Page 548 and 549: 548/661and given the quantum of hop
- Page 550 and 551: APPENDIX AWhat Is Emotion?A word ab
- Page 552 and 553: 552/661feelings such as doubt, comp
- Page 554 and 555: APPENDIX BHallmarks of the Emotiona
- Page 556 and 557: 556/661overall picture or the most
- Page 558 and 559: 558/661emotional mind, the "first i
- Page 560 and 561: reactions. A few exceptions aside,
- Page 562 and 563: This childlike mode is self-confirm
- Page 564 and 565: we behave when enraged or dejected;
- Page 566 and 567: 566/661Say you're alone one night a
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reading class get a story, "Frog and Toad Are Friends,"
in which Frog, eager to play with his hibernating friend
Toad, plays a trick on him to get him up early. The story
is used as a platform for a class discussion about friendship,
and issues such as how people feel when someone
plays a trick on them. A succession of adventures brings
up topics such as self-consciousness, being aware of a
friend's needs, what it feels like to be teased, and sharing
feelings with friends. A set curriculum plan offers increasingly
sophisticated stories as children go through
the elementary and middle-school grades, giving teachers
entry points to discuss topics such as empathy,
perspective-taking, and caring.
Another way emotional lessons are woven into the
fabric of existing school life is through helping teachers
rethink how to discipline students who misbehave. The
assumption in the Child Development program is that
such moments are ripe opportunities to teach children
skills that are lacking—impulse control, explaining their
feelings, resolving conflicts—and that there are better
ways to discipline than coercion. A teacher seeing three
first graders pushing to be the first in the lunchroom
line might suggest that they each guess a number, and
let the winner go first. The immediate lesson is that
there are impartial, fair ways to settle such pint-size disputes,
while the deeper teaching is that disputes can be
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