Emotional inteligence
Learning these emotional skills at the cusp of adolescencemay be especially helpful. Seligman observes,"These kids seem to be better at handling the routineteenage agonies of rejection. They seem to have learnedthis at a crucial window for risk of depression, just asthey enter the teen years. And the lesson seems to persistand grow a bit stronger over the course of the yearsafter they learn it, suggesting the kids are actually usingit in their day-to-day lives."Other experts on childhood depression applaud thenew programs. "If you want to make a real difference forpsychiatric illness like depression, you have to dosomething before the kids get sick in the first place," Kovacscommented. "The real solution is a psychologicalinoculation."EATING DISORDERS470/661During my days as a graduate student in clinical psychologyin the late 1960s, I knew two women who sufferedfrom eating disorders, though I realized this only aftermany years had passed. One was a brilliant graduatestudent in mathematics at Harvard, a friend from myundergraduate days; the other was on the staff at M.I.T.The mathematician, though skeletally thin, simply couldnot bring herself to eat; food, she said, repulsed her. Thelibrarian had an ample figure and was given to bingeing
471/661on ice cream, Sara Lee carrot cake, and other desserts;then—as she once confided with some embarrassment—shewould secretly go off to the bathroom andmake herself vomit. Today the mathematician would bediagnosed with anorexia nervosa, the librarian withbulimia.In those years there were no such labels. Clinicianswere just beginning to comment on the problem; HildaBruch, the pioneer in this movement, published herseminal article on eating disorders in 1969. 37 Bruch,puzzled by women who were starving themselves todeath, proposed that one of the several underlyingcauses lay in an inability to label and respond appropriatelyto bodily urges—notably, of course, hunger. Sincethen the clinical literature on eating disorders hasmushroomed, with a multitude of hypotheses about thecauses, ranging from ever-younger girls feeling compelledto compete with unattainably high standards offemale beauty, to intrusive mothers who enmesh theirdaughters in a controlling web of guilt and blame.Most of these hypotheses suffered from one greatdrawback: they were extrapolations from observationsmade during therapy. Far more desirable, from a scientificviewpoint, are studies of large groups of peopleover a period of several years, to see who among themeventually comes down with the problem. That kind of
- Page 420 and 421: 420/661These sensitive children are
- Page 422 and 423: 422/661to help her up, and as I did
- Page 424 and 425: 424/661or the other type, says Davi
- Page 426 and 427: 426/661parents, and so how they lea
- Page 428 and 429: 428/661When the encounter takes pla
- Page 430 and 431: 430/661spontaneously outgrew their
- Page 432 and 433: 432/661was reopened, the animal was
- Page 434 and 435: The remarkable finding, though, was
- Page 436 and 437: 436/661switch for distress. The inf
- Page 438 and 439: 438/661emotional habits are malleab
- Page 440 and 441: 15The Cost of Emotional IlliteracyI
- Page 442 and 443: example, heroin and cocaine use amo
- Page 444 and 445: 444/661While any of these problems
- Page 446 and 447: both parents work long hours, so th
- Page 448 and 449: 448/661themselves as victims and ca
- Page 450 and 451: 450/661But studies that have follow
- Page 452 and 453: 452/661attracted to their defiant s
- Page 454 and 455: 454/661aggressive kids learn to con
- Page 456 and 457: 456/661Dana, sixteen, had always se
- Page 458 and 459: that predispose children to react t
- Page 460 and 461: 460/661worldwide. When I asked expe
- Page 462 and 463: 462/661more severe episodes later i
- Page 464 and 465: Indeed, when depressed children hav
- Page 466 and 467: 466/661when they get a worse grade
- Page 468 and 469: 468/661The good news: there is ever
- Page 472 and 473: 472/661study allows a clean compari
- Page 474 and 475: 474/661observed that these girls "h
- Page 476 and 477: 476/661Ben then stalks off to his e
- Page 478 and 479: 478/661being sad, angry, or mischie
- Page 480 and 481: make the difference—even when all
- Page 482 and 483: 482/661the circle of friendship wit
- Page 484 and 485: 484/661One current scientific theor
- Page 486 and 487: 486/661helped ease their anxiety or
- Page 488 and 489: 488/661treated for addiction to her
- Page 490 and 491: 490/661core of resilience to surviv
- Page 492 and 493: ineffective. A few, to the chagrin
- Page 494 and 495: 494/661Those children who got the m
- Page 496 and 497: 496/661anxiety. A key ability in im
- Page 498 and 499: 16Schooling the EmotionsThe main ho
- Page 500 and 501: 500/661children who are faltering a
- Page 502 and 503: ingrained; as experiences are repea
- Page 504 and 505: A POINT OF CONTENTION504/661But as
- Page 506 and 507: 506/661could also be part of lighte
- Page 508 and 509: 508/661spiral into aggression. Whil
- Page 510 and 511: These are the topics of gripping im
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- Page 514 and 515: 514/661twenty thousand people emplo
- Page 516 and 517: bring in pictures of a person's fac
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471/661
on ice cream, Sara Lee carrot cake, and other desserts;
then—as she once confided with some embarrassment—she
would secretly go off to the bathroom and
make herself vomit. Today the mathematician would be
diagnosed with anorexia nervosa, the librarian with
bulimia.
In those years there were no such labels. Clinicians
were just beginning to comment on the problem; Hilda
Bruch, the pioneer in this movement, published her
seminal article on eating disorders in 1969. 37 Bruch,
puzzled by women who were starving themselves to
death, proposed that one of the several underlying
causes lay in an inability to label and respond appropriately
to bodily urges—notably, of course, hunger. Since
then the clinical literature on eating disorders has
mushroomed, with a multitude of hypotheses about the
causes, ranging from ever-younger girls feeling compelled
to compete with unattainably high standards of
female beauty, to intrusive mothers who enmesh their
daughters in a controlling web of guilt and blame.
Most of these hypotheses suffered from one great
drawback: they were extrapolations from observations
made during therapy. Far more desirable, from a scientific
viewpoint, are studies of large groups of people
over a period of several years, to see who among them
eventually comes down with the problem. That kind of