Emotional inteligence

school, even though, on average, their IQs were not
higher than those of children who were less skilled at
reading nonverbal messages—suggesting that mastering
this empathic ability smooths the way for classroom effectiveness
(or simply makes teachers like them more).
Just as the mode of the rational mind is words, the
mode of the emotions is nonverbal. Indeed, when a
person's words disagree with what is conveyed via his
tone of voice, gesture, or other nonverbal channel, the
emotional truth is in how he says something rather than
in what he says. One rule of thumb used in communications
research is that 90 percent or more of an emotional
message is nonverbal. And such messages—anxiety in
someone's tone of voice, irritation in the quickness of a
gesture—are almost always taken in unconsciously,
without paying specific attention to the nature of the
message, but simply tacitly receiving it and responding.
The skills that allow us to do this well or poorly are also,
for the most part, learned tacitly.
HOW EMPATHY UNFOLDS
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The moment Hope, just nine months old, saw another
baby fall, tears welled up in her own eyes and she
crawled off to be comforted by her mother, as though it
were she who had been hurt. And fifteen-month-old Michael
went to get his own teddy bear for his crying