Emotional inteligence
178/661successful). This special group outsold the pessimists by21 percent in their first year, and 57 percent in thesecond.Just why optimism makes such a difference in salessuccess speaks to the sense in which it is an emotionallyintelligent attitude. Each no a salesperson gets is a smalldefeat. The emotional reaction to that defeat is crucial tothe ability to marshal enough motivation to continue. Asthe noes mount up, morale can deteriorate, making itharder and harder to pick up the phone for the next call.Such rejection is especially hard to take for a pessimist,who interprets it as meaning, "I'm a failure at this; I'llnever make a sale"—an interpretation that is sure totrigger apathy and defeatism, if not depression. Optimists,on the other hand, tell themselves, "I'm using thewrong approach," or "That last person was just in a badmood." By seeing not themselves but something in thesituation as the reason for their failure, they can changetheir approach in the next call. While the pessimist'smental set leads to despair, the optimist's spawns hope.One source of a positive or negative outlook may wellbe inborn temperament; some people by nature tendone way or the other. But as we shall also see in Chapter14, temperament can be tempered by experience. Optimismand hope—like helplessness and despair—can belearned. Underlying both is an outlook psychologists call
self-efficacy, the belief that one has mastery over theevents of one's life and can meet challenges as theycome up. Developing a competency of any kindstrengthens the sense of self-efficacy, making a personmore willing to take risks and seek out more demandingchallenges. And surmounting those challenges in turnincreases the sense of self-efficacy. This attitude makespeople more likely to make the best use of whateverskills they may have—or to do what it takes to developthem.Albert Bandura, a Stanford psychologist who has donemuch of the research on self-efficacy, sums it up well:"People's beliefs about their abilities have a profound effecton those abilities. Ability is not a fixed property;there is a huge variability in how you perform. Peoplewho have a sense of self-efficacy bounce back from failures;they approach things in terms of how to handlethem rather than worrying about what can go wrong." 24FLOW: THE NEUROBIOLOGY OFEXCELLENCE?179/661A composer describes those moments when his work isat its best:You yourself are in an ecstatic state to such a pointthat you feel as though you almost don't exist. I've
- Page 128 and 129: it stops that angry train of though
- Page 130 and 131: Tice found that ventilating anger i
- Page 132 and 133: 132/661the anxiety disorders: phobi
- Page 134 and 135: 134/661method. In short, the worrie
- Page 136 and 137: 136/661thoughts, they do not seem t
- Page 138 and 139: 138/661learn relaxation methods tha
- Page 140 and 141: 140/661finally, make the psychologi
- Page 142 and 143: 142/661people ruminate. Worrying ab
- Page 144 and 145: and think of more positive alternat
- Page 146 and 147: 146/661references to it in the thou
- Page 148 and 149: 148/661state, but not so well for d
- Page 150 and 151: pain of their own. Throwing oneself
- Page 152 and 153: 152/661troubling situation such as
- Page 154 and 155: 154/661not faking their lack of awa
- Page 156 and 157: 6The Master AptitudeJust once in my
- Page 158 and 159: 158/661When emotions overwhelm conc
- Page 160 and 161: 160/661have an average IQ advantage
- Page 162 and 163: 162/661incipient movement, most lik
- Page 164 and 165: 164/661provoking arguments and figh
- Page 166 and 167: FOUL MOODS, FOULED THINKING166/661I
- Page 168 and 169: 168/661often made him do poorly on
- Page 170 and 171: 170/661easier to find solutions to
- Page 172 and 173: 172/661Although you set your goal o
- Page 174 and 175: 174/661finds, share certain traits,
- Page 176 and 177: 176/661Seligman defines optimism in
- Page 180 and 181: 180/661experienced this time and ag
- Page 182 and 183: 182/661Flow is a state of self-forg
- Page 184 and 185: 184/661"cool" state, its arousal an
- Page 186 and 187: 186/661in art school by dreams of f
- Page 188 and 189: 188/661learning in the domains wher
- Page 190 and 191: 190/661effectively—all bespeak th
- Page 192 and 193: 192/661the root of caring, stems fr
- Page 194 and 195: school, even though, on average, th
- Page 196 and 197: 196/661mother cry, one baby wiped h
- Page 198 and 199: 198/661she treated each boy. When t
- Page 200 and 201: Attunement is very different from s
- Page 202 and 203: But there is hope in "reparative" r
- Page 204 and 205: 204/661all had the same neutral mea
- Page 206 and 207: seem to mean that the brain is desi
- Page 208 and 209: 208/661say—there can be little or
- Page 210 and 211: 210/661of an entire group, such as
- Page 212 and 213: 212/661cycle that precipitates thei
- Page 214 and 215: 214/661While there may be some smal
- Page 216 and 217: 216/661been torturers for terrorist
- Page 218 and 219: 218/661results as meaning that psyc
- Page 220 and 221: 8The Social ArtsAs so often happens
- Page 222 and 223: 222/661able to draw on a large repe
- Page 224 and 225: 224/661One key social competence is
- Page 226 and 227: propriety; they dictate how our own
self-efficacy, the belief that one has mastery over the
events of one's life and can meet challenges as they
come up. Developing a competency of any kind
strengthens the sense of self-efficacy, making a person
more willing to take risks and seek out more demanding
challenges. And surmounting those challenges in turn
increases the sense of self-efficacy. This attitude makes
people more likely to make the best use of whatever
skills they may have—or to do what it takes to develop
them.
Albert Bandura, a Stanford psychologist who has done
much of the research on self-efficacy, sums it up well:
"People's beliefs about their abilities have a profound effect
on those abilities. Ability is not a fixed property;
there is a huge variability in how you perform. People
who have a sense of self-efficacy bounce back from failures;
they approach things in terms of how to handle
them rather than worrying about what can go wrong." 24
FLOW: THE NEUROBIOLOGY OF
EXCELLENCE?
179/661
A composer describes those moments when his work is
at its best:
You yourself are in an ecstatic state to such a point
that you feel as though you almost don't exist. I've
Change language