Emotional inteligence
148/661state, but not so well for depression. Each of these approachesseems to work to break the cycle of depressionor anxiety because it pitches the brain into a level ofactivity incompatible with the emotional state that hashad it in its grip.Cheering oneself up through treats and sensual pleasureswas another fairly popular antidote to the blues.Common ways people soothed themselves when depressedranged from taking hot baths or eating favoritefoods, to listening to music or having sex. Buying oneselfa gift or treat to get out of a bad mood was particularlypopular among women, as was shopping in general,even if only window-shopping. Among those in college,Tice found that eating was three times as commona strategy for soothing sadness among women thanmen; men, on the other hand, were five times as likely toturn to drinking or drugs when they felt down. Thetrouble with overeating or alcohol as antidotes, ofcourse, is that they can easily backfire: eating to excessbrings regret; alcohol is a central nervous system depressant,and so only adds to the effects of depressionitself.A more constructive approach to mood-lifting, Ticereports, is engineering a small triumph or easy success:tackling some long-delayed chore around the house orgetting to some other duty they've been wanting to clear
149/661up. By the same token, lifts to self-image also werecheering, even if only in the form of getting dressed upor putting on makeup.One of the most potent—and, outside therapy, littleused—antidotes to depression is seeing things differently,or cognitive reframing. It is natural to bemoanthe end of a relationship and to wallow in self-pityingthoughts such as the conviction that "this means I'll alwaysbe alone," but it's sure to thicken the sense of despair.However, stepping back and thinking about theways the relationship wasn't so great, and ways you andyour partner were mismatched—in other words, seeingthe loss differently, in a more positive light—is an antidoteto the sadness. By the same token, cancer patients,no matter how serious their condition, were in bettermoods if they were able to bring to mind another patientwho was in even worse shape ("I'm not so bad off—atleast I can walk"); those who compared themselves tohealthy people were the most depressed. 18 Such downwardcomparisons are surprisingly cheering: suddenlywhat had seemed quite dispiriting doesn't look all thatbad.Another effective depression-lifter is helping others inneed. Since depression feeds on ruminations and preoccupationswith the self, helping others lifts us out ofthose preoccupations as we empathize with people in
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149/661
up. By the same token, lifts to self-image also were
cheering, even if only in the form of getting dressed up
or putting on makeup.
One of the most potent—and, outside therapy, little
used—antidotes to depression is seeing things differently,
or cognitive reframing. It is natural to bemoan
the end of a relationship and to wallow in self-pitying
thoughts such as the conviction that "this means I'll always
be alone," but it's sure to thicken the sense of despair.
However, stepping back and thinking about the
ways the relationship wasn't so great, and ways you and
your partner were mismatched—in other words, seeing
the loss differently, in a more positive light—is an antidote
to the sadness. By the same token, cancer patients,
no matter how serious their condition, were in better
moods if they were able to bring to mind another patient
who was in even worse shape ("I'm not so bad off—at
least I can walk"); those who compared themselves to
healthy people were the most depressed. 18 Such downward
comparisons are surprisingly cheering: suddenly
what had seemed quite dispiriting doesn't look all that
bad.
Another effective depression-lifter is helping others in
need. Since depression feeds on ruminations and preoccupations
with the self, helping others lifts us out of
those preoccupations as we empathize with people in
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