Emotional inteligence
and think of more positive alternatives. The other is topurposely schedule pleasant, distracting events.One reason distraction works is that depressingthoughts are automatic, intruding on one's state of mindunbidden. Even when depressed people try to suppresstheir depressing thoughts, they often cannot come upwith better alternatives; once the depressive tide ofthought has started, it has a powerful magnetic effect onthe train of association. For example, when depressedpeople were asked to unscramble jumbled six-word sentences,they were much better at figuring out the depressingmessages ("The future looks very dismal") thanthe upbeat ones ("The future looks very bright"). 17The tendency for depression to perpetuate itselfshades even the kinds of distractions people choose.When depressed people were given a list of upbeat orponderous ways to get their minds off something sad,such as the funeral of a friend, they picked more of themelancholy activities. Richard Wenzlaff, the Universityof Texas psychologist who did these studies, concludesthat people who are already depressed need to make aspecial effort to get their attention on something that iscompletely upbeat, being careful not to inadvertentlychoose something—a tearjerker movie, a tragic novel—thatwill drag their mood down again.Mood-lifters144/661
145/661Imagine that you're driving on an unfamiliar, steep,and winding road through fog. Suddenly a car pullsout of a driveway only a few feet in front of you, tooclose for you to stop in time. Your foot slams thebrake to the floor and you go into a skid, your carsliding into the side of the other one. You see that thecar is full of youngsters, a carpool on the way topreschool—just before the explosion of glass shatteringand metal bending into metal. Then, out of thesudden silence after the collision, you hear a chorusof crying. You manage to run to the other car, and seethat one of the children is lying motionless. You areflooded with remorse and sadness over thistragedy....Such heart-wrenching scenarios were used to get volunteersupset in one of Wenzlaff s experiments. The volunteersthen tried to keep the scene out of their mindswhile they jotted notes about the stream of theirthoughts for nine minutes. Each time the thought of thedisturbing scene intruded into their minds, they made acheck mark as they wrote. While most people thoughtabout the upsetting scene less and less as time went on,those volunteers who were more depressed actuallyshowed a pronounced increase in intruding thoughts ofthe scene as time passed, and even made oblique
- Page 94 and 95: 4Know ThyselfA belligerent samurai,
- Page 96 and 97: 96/661faculty of mind in writing of
- Page 98 and 99: 98/661• Self-aware. Aware of thei
- Page 100 and 101: 100/661Temple University, to assess
- Page 102 and 103: 102/661Gary was emotionally flat, c
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- Page 106 and 107: 106/661Elliot's tumor, growing just
- Page 108 and 109: 108/661accepting virtually every po
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- Page 112 and 113: 112/661just out of his awareness an
- Page 114 and 115: 114/661proportionate to circumstanc
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- Page 118 and 119: worked themselves into a rage in or
- Page 120 and 121: explain why some views about it are
- Page 122 and 123: are so much more prone to anger if
- Page 124 and 125: subsided, and a third on top of tho
- Page 126 and 127: can no longer think straight. When
- Page 128 and 129: it stops that angry train of though
- Page 130 and 131: Tice found that ventilating anger i
- Page 132 and 133: 132/661the anxiety disorders: phobi
- Page 134 and 135: 134/661method. In short, the worrie
- Page 136 and 137: 136/661thoughts, they do not seem t
- Page 138 and 139: 138/661learn relaxation methods tha
- Page 140 and 141: 140/661finally, make the psychologi
- Page 142 and 143: 142/661people ruminate. Worrying ab
- Page 146 and 147: 146/661references to it in the thou
- Page 148 and 149: 148/661state, but not so well for d
- Page 150 and 151: pain of their own. Throwing oneself
- Page 152 and 153: 152/661troubling situation such as
- Page 154 and 155: 154/661not faking their lack of awa
- Page 156 and 157: 6The Master AptitudeJust once in my
- Page 158 and 159: 158/661When emotions overwhelm conc
- Page 160 and 161: 160/661have an average IQ advantage
- Page 162 and 163: 162/661incipient movement, most lik
- Page 164 and 165: 164/661provoking arguments and figh
- Page 166 and 167: FOUL MOODS, FOULED THINKING166/661I
- Page 168 and 169: 168/661often made him do poorly on
- Page 170 and 171: 170/661easier to find solutions to
- Page 172 and 173: 172/661Although you set your goal o
- Page 174 and 175: 174/661finds, share certain traits,
- Page 176 and 177: 176/661Seligman defines optimism in
- Page 178 and 179: 178/661successful). This special gr
- Page 180 and 181: 180/661experienced this time and ag
- Page 182 and 183: 182/661Flow is a state of self-forg
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145/661
Imagine that you're driving on an unfamiliar, steep,
and winding road through fog. Suddenly a car pulls
out of a driveway only a few feet in front of you, too
close for you to stop in time. Your foot slams the
brake to the floor and you go into a skid, your car
sliding into the side of the other one. You see that the
car is full of youngsters, a carpool on the way to
preschool—just before the explosion of glass shattering
and metal bending into metal. Then, out of the
sudden silence after the collision, you hear a chorus
of crying. You manage to run to the other car, and see
that one of the children is lying motionless. You are
flooded with remorse and sadness over this
tragedy....
Such heart-wrenching scenarios were used to get volunteers
upset in one of Wenzlaff s experiments. The volunteers
then tried to keep the scene out of their minds
while they jotted notes about the stream of their
thoughts for nine minutes. Each time the thought of the
disturbing scene intruded into their minds, they made a
check mark as they wrote. While most people thought
about the upsetting scene less and less as time went on,
those volunteers who were more depressed actually
showed a pronounced increase in intruding thoughts of
the scene as time passed, and even made oblique
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