Emotional inteligence
worked themselves into a rage in order to be all thefirmer with deadbeats. 3 But these rare purposive cultivationsof unpleasantness aside, most everyone complainedof being at the mercy of their moods. People'strack records at shaking bad moods were decidedlymixed.THE ANATOMY OF RAGE?118/661Say someone in another car cuts dangerously close toyou as you are driving on the freeway. If your reflexivethought is "That son of a bitch!" it matters immenselyfor the trajectory of rage whether that thought is followedby more thoughts of outrage and revenge: "Hecould have hit me! That bastard—I can't let him getaway with that!" Your knuckles whiten as you tightenyour hold on the steering wheel, a surrogate forstrangling his throat. Your body mobilizes to fight, notrun—leaving you trembling, beads of sweat on yourforehead, your heart pounding, the muscles in your facelocked in a scowl. You want to kill the guy. Then, shoulda car behind you honk because you have slowed downafter the close call, you are apt to explode in rage at thatdriver too. Such is the stuff of hypertension, recklessdriving, even freeway shootings.Contrast that sequence of building rage with a morecharitable line of thought toward the driver who cut you
119/661off: "Maybe he didn't see me, or maybe he had somegood reason for driving so carelessly, such as a medicalemergency." That line of possibility tempers anger withmercy, or at least an open mind, short-circuiting thebuildup of rage. The problem, as Aristotle's challenge tohave only appropriate anger reminds us, is that moreoften than not our anger surges out of control. BenjaminFranklin put it well: "Anger is never without a reason,but seldom a good one."There are, of course, different kinds of anger. Theamygdala may well be a main source of the suddenspark of rage we feel at the driver whose carelessnessendangers us. But the other end of the emotional circuitry,the neocortex, most likely foments more calculatedangers, such as cool-headed revenge or outrage atunfairness or injustice. Such thoughtful angers are thosemost likely, as Franklin put it, to "have good reasons" orseem to.Of all the moods that people want to escape, rageseems to be the most intransigent; Tice found anger isthe mood people are worst at controlling. Indeed, angeris the most seductive of the negative emotions; the selfrighteousinner monologue that propels it along fills themind with the most convincing arguments for ventingrage. Unlike sadness, anger is energizing, even exhilarating.Anger's seductive, persuasive power may in itself
- Page 68 and 69: PART TWOTHE NATURE OFEMOTIONALINTEL
- Page 70 and 71: 70/661After transferring to a priva
- Page 72 and 73: course it accounts for. But what da
- Page 74 and 75: 74/661level of young people of comp
- Page 76 and 77: 76/661margins of games rather than
- Page 78 and 79: 78/661competencies and gifts, and c
- Page 80 and 81: 80/661varieties of intelligence. In
- Page 82 and 83: 82/661discern and respond appropria
- Page 84 and 85: 84/661Mr. Spock, the archetype of d
- Page 86 and 87: you get that are essential for inte
- Page 88 and 89: 88/661for instance, so highly value
- Page 90 and 91: the subtle social signals that indi
- Page 92 and 93: 92/661adept in the realm of mind bu
- Page 94 and 95: 4Know ThyselfA belligerent samurai,
- Page 96 and 97: 96/661faculty of mind in writing of
- Page 98 and 99: 98/661• Self-aware. Aware of thei
- Page 100 and 101: 100/661Temple University, to assess
- Page 102 and 103: 102/661Gary was emotionally flat, c
- Page 104 and 105: 104/661silent. When her therapist t
- Page 106 and 107: 106/661Elliot's tumor, growing just
- Page 108 and 109: 108/661accepting virtually every po
- Page 110 and 111: 110/661It may be that a talent for
- Page 112 and 113: 112/661just out of his awareness an
- Page 114 and 115: 114/661proportionate to circumstanc
- Page 116 and 117: 116/661have treated them, leaving t
- Page 120 and 121: explain why some views about it are
- Page 122 and 123: are so much more prone to anger if
- Page 124 and 125: subsided, and a third on top of tho
- Page 126 and 127: can no longer think straight. When
- Page 128 and 129: it stops that angry train of though
- Page 130 and 131: Tice found that ventilating anger i
- Page 132 and 133: 132/661the anxiety disorders: phobi
- Page 134 and 135: 134/661method. In short, the worrie
- Page 136 and 137: 136/661thoughts, they do not seem t
- Page 138 and 139: 138/661learn relaxation methods tha
- Page 140 and 141: 140/661finally, make the psychologi
- Page 142 and 143: 142/661people ruminate. Worrying ab
- Page 144 and 145: and think of more positive alternat
- Page 146 and 147: 146/661references to it in the thou
- Page 148 and 149: 148/661state, but not so well for d
- Page 150 and 151: pain of their own. Throwing oneself
- Page 152 and 153: 152/661troubling situation such as
- Page 154 and 155: 154/661not faking their lack of awa
- Page 156 and 157: 6The Master AptitudeJust once in my
- Page 158 and 159: 158/661When emotions overwhelm conc
- Page 160 and 161: 160/661have an average IQ advantage
- Page 162 and 163: 162/661incipient movement, most lik
- Page 164 and 165: 164/661provoking arguments and figh
- Page 166 and 167: FOUL MOODS, FOULED THINKING166/661I
119/661
off: "Maybe he didn't see me, or maybe he had some
good reason for driving so carelessly, such as a medical
emergency." That line of possibility tempers anger with
mercy, or at least an open mind, short-circuiting the
buildup of rage. The problem, as Aristotle's challenge to
have only appropriate anger reminds us, is that more
often than not our anger surges out of control. Benjamin
Franklin put it well: "Anger is never without a reason,
but seldom a good one."
There are, of course, different kinds of anger. The
amygdala may well be a main source of the sudden
spark of rage we feel at the driver whose carelessness
endangers us. But the other end of the emotional circuitry,
the neocortex, most likely foments more calculated
angers, such as cool-headed revenge or outrage at
unfairness or injustice. Such thoughtful angers are those
most likely, as Franklin put it, to "have good reasons" or
seem to.
Of all the moods that people want to escape, rage
seems to be the most intransigent; Tice found anger is
the mood people are worst at controlling. Indeed, anger
is the most seductive of the negative emotions; the selfrighteous
inner monologue that propels it along fills the
mind with the most convincing arguments for venting
rage. Unlike sadness, anger is energizing, even exhilarating.
Anger's seductive, persuasive power may in itself
Change language