Emotional inteligence
104/661silent. When her therapist then asked her how she felt atthat moment, she said she felt "awful," but couldn't clarifyher feelings beyond that. And, she added, from timeto time she found herself crying, but never knew exactlywhat she was crying about. 12And that is the nub of the problem. It is not that alexithymicsnever feel, but that they are unable toknow—and especially unable to put into words—preciselywhat their feelings are. They are utterly lacking inthe fundamental skill of emotional intelligence, selfawareness—knowingwhat we are feeling as emotionsroil within us. Alexithymics belie the common-sense notionthat it is perfectly self-evident what we are feeling:they haven't a clue. When something—or more likely,someone—does move them to feeling, they find the experiencebaffling and overwhelming, something to avoidat all costs. Feelings come to them, when they come atall, as a befuddling bundle of distress; as the patientwho cried at the movie put it, they feel "awful," but can'tsay exactly which kind of awful it is they feel.This basic confusion about feelings often seems tolead them to complain of vague medical problems whenthey are actually experiencing emotional distress—aphenomenon known in psychiatry as somaticizing, mistakingan emotional ache for a physical one (and differentfrom a psychosomatic disease, in which emotional
problems cause genuine medical ones). Indeed, much ofthe psychiatric interest in alexithymics is in weedingthem out from among those who come to doctors seekinghelp, for they are prone to lengthy—and fruitless—pursuitof a medical diagnosis and treatment forwhat is actually an emotional problem.While no one can as yet say for sure what causes alexithymia,Dr. Sifneos proposes a disconnection betweenthe limbic system and the neocortex, particularly itsverbal centers, which fits well with what we are learningabout the emotional brain. Patients with severe seizureswho had that connection surgically severed to relievetheir symptoms, notes Sifneos, became emotionally flat,like people with alexithymia, unable to put their feelingsinto words and suddenly devoid of fantasy life. In short,though the circuits of the emotional brain may reactwith feelings, the neocortex is not able to sort out thesefeelings and add the nuance of language to them. AsHenry Roth observed in his novel Call It Sleep aboutthis power of language, "If you could put words to whatyou felt, it was yours." The corollary, of course, is thealexithymic's dilemma: having no words for feelingsmeans not making the feelings your own.IN PRAISE OF GUT FEELING105/661
- Page 54 and 55: 54/661memories date from the first
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- Page 68 and 69: PART TWOTHE NATURE OFEMOTIONALINTEL
- Page 70 and 71: 70/661After transferring to a priva
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- Page 84 and 85: 84/661Mr. Spock, the archetype of d
- Page 86 and 87: you get that are essential for inte
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- Page 100 and 101: 100/661Temple University, to assess
- Page 102 and 103: 102/661Gary was emotionally flat, c
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- Page 118 and 119: worked themselves into a rage in or
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- Page 124 and 125: subsided, and a third on top of tho
- Page 126 and 127: can no longer think straight. When
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- Page 130 and 131: Tice found that ventilating anger i
- Page 132 and 133: 132/661the anxiety disorders: phobi
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- Page 150 and 151: pain of their own. Throwing oneself
- Page 152 and 153: 152/661troubling situation such as
problems cause genuine medical ones). Indeed, much of
the psychiatric interest in alexithymics is in weeding
them out from among those who come to doctors seeking
help, for they are prone to lengthy—and fruitless—pursuit
of a medical diagnosis and treatment for
what is actually an emotional problem.
While no one can as yet say for sure what causes alexithymia,
Dr. Sifneos proposes a disconnection between
the limbic system and the neocortex, particularly its
verbal centers, which fits well with what we are learning
about the emotional brain. Patients with severe seizures
who had that connection surgically severed to relieve
their symptoms, notes Sifneos, became emotionally flat,
like people with alexithymia, unable to put their feelings
into words and suddenly devoid of fantasy life. In short,
though the circuits of the emotional brain may react
with feelings, the neocortex is not able to sort out these
feelings and add the nuance of language to them. As
Henry Roth observed in his novel Call It Sleep about
this power of language, "If you could put words to what
you felt, it was yours." The corollary, of course, is the
alexithymic's dilemma: having no words for feelings
means not making the feelings your own.
IN PRAISE OF GUT FEELING
105/661
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