Emotional inteligence
100/661Temple University, to assess whether people tend to bevigilant, attending carefully to every detail of a distressingpredicament, or, in contrast, deal with such anxiousmoments by trying to distract themselves. These two attentionalstances toward distress have very differentconsequences for how people experience their own emotionalreactions. Those who tune in under duress can, bythe very act of attending so carefully, unwittingly amplifythe magnitude of their own reactions—especially iftheir tuning in is devoid of the equanimity of self-awareness.The result is that their emotions seem all the moreintense. Those who tune out, who distract themselves,notice less about their own reactions, and so minimizethe experience of their emotional response, if not thesize of the response itself.At the extremes, this means that for some peopleemotional awareness is overwhelming, while for othersit barely exists. Consider the college student who, oneevening, spotted a fire that had broken out in his dorm,went to get a fire extinguisher, and put the fire out.Nothing unusual—except that on his way to get the extinguisherand then on the way back to the fire, hewalked instead of running. The reason? He didn't feelthere was any urgency.This story was told to me by Edward Diener, aUniversity of Illinois at Urbana psychologist who has
been studying the intensity with which people experiencetheir emotions. 7 The college student stood out inhis collection of case studies as one of the least intenseDiener had ever encountered. He was, essentially, a manwithout passions, someone who goes through life feelinglittle or nothing, even about an emergency like a fire.By contrast, consider a woman at the opposite end ofDiener's spectrum. When she once lost her favorite pen,she was distraught for days. Another time she was sothrilled on seeing an ad for a big sale on women's shoesat an expensive store that she dropped what she was doing,hopped in her car, and drove three hours to thestore in Chicago.Diener finds that women, in general, feel both positiveand negative emotions more strongly than do men. And,sex differences aside, emotional life is richer for thosewho notice more. For one thing, this enhanced emotionalsensitivity means that for such people the least provocationunleashes emotional storms, whether heavenlyor hellish, while those at the other extreme barely experienceany feeling even under the most direcircumstances.THE MAN WITHOUT FEELINGS101/661Gary infuriated his fiancée, Ellen, because even thoughhe was intelligent, thoughtful, and a successful surgeon,
- Page 50 and 51: original signal goes straight from
- Page 52 and 53: messages from the brain to regulate
- Page 54 and 55: 54/661memories date from the first
- Page 56 and 57: 56/661falling—illustrates the pow
- Page 58 and 59: sensory information that have not b
- Page 60 and 61: 60/661to the amygdala, but to the n
- Page 62 and 63: 62/661zones to the emotional urgenc
- Page 64 and 65: 64/661capacity of attention that ho
- Page 66 and 67: 66/661the amygdala, whatever the ne
- Page 68 and 69: PART TWOTHE NATURE OFEMOTIONALINTEL
- Page 70 and 71: 70/661After transferring to a priva
- Page 72 and 73: course it accounts for. But what da
- Page 74 and 75: 74/661level of young people of comp
- Page 76 and 77: 76/661margins of games rather than
- Page 78 and 79: 78/661competencies and gifts, and c
- Page 80 and 81: 80/661varieties of intelligence. In
- Page 82 and 83: 82/661discern and respond appropria
- Page 84 and 85: 84/661Mr. Spock, the archetype of d
- Page 86 and 87: you get that are essential for inte
- Page 88 and 89: 88/661for instance, so highly value
- Page 90 and 91: the subtle social signals that indi
- Page 92 and 93: 92/661adept in the realm of mind bu
- Page 94 and 95: 4Know ThyselfA belligerent samurai,
- Page 96 and 97: 96/661faculty of mind in writing of
- Page 98 and 99: 98/661• Self-aware. Aware of thei
- Page 102 and 103: 102/661Gary was emotionally flat, c
- Page 104 and 105: 104/661silent. When her therapist t
- Page 106 and 107: 106/661Elliot's tumor, growing just
- Page 108 and 109: 108/661accepting virtually every po
- Page 110 and 111: 110/661It may be that a talent for
- Page 112 and 113: 112/661just out of his awareness an
- Page 114 and 115: 114/661proportionate to circumstanc
- Page 116 and 117: 116/661have treated them, leaving t
- Page 118 and 119: worked themselves into a rage in or
- Page 120 and 121: explain why some views about it are
- Page 122 and 123: are so much more prone to anger if
- Page 124 and 125: subsided, and a third on top of tho
- Page 126 and 127: can no longer think straight. When
- Page 128 and 129: it stops that angry train of though
- Page 130 and 131: Tice found that ventilating anger i
- Page 132 and 133: 132/661the anxiety disorders: phobi
- Page 134 and 135: 134/661method. In short, the worrie
- Page 136 and 137: 136/661thoughts, they do not seem t
- Page 138 and 139: 138/661learn relaxation methods tha
- Page 140 and 141: 140/661finally, make the psychologi
- Page 142 and 143: 142/661people ruminate. Worrying ab
- Page 144 and 145: and think of more positive alternat
- Page 146 and 147: 146/661references to it in the thou
- Page 148 and 149: 148/661state, but not so well for d
100/661
Temple University, to assess whether people tend to be
vigilant, attending carefully to every detail of a distressing
predicament, or, in contrast, deal with such anxious
moments by trying to distract themselves. These two attentional
stances toward distress have very different
consequences for how people experience their own emotional
reactions. Those who tune in under duress can, by
the very act of attending so carefully, unwittingly amplify
the magnitude of their own reactions—especially if
their tuning in is devoid of the equanimity of self-awareness.
The result is that their emotions seem all the more
intense. Those who tune out, who distract themselves,
notice less about their own reactions, and so minimize
the experience of their emotional response, if not the
size of the response itself.
At the extremes, this means that for some people
emotional awareness is overwhelming, while for others
it barely exists. Consider the college student who, one
evening, spotted a fire that had broken out in his dorm,
went to get a fire extinguisher, and put the fire out.
Nothing unusual—except that on his way to get the extinguisher
and then on the way back to the fire, he
walked instead of running. The reason? He didn't feel
there was any urgency.
This story was told to me by Edward Diener, a
University of Illinois at Urbana psychologist who has
Change language