SOUTH AFRICAN CULINARY HERITAGE
The book South African Culinary Heritage by Eunice Rakhale, is about local food history and traditions interlaced with family conversations. It illustrates the culinary diversity of Southern African cuisine and some neighbouring countries, comparing the similarities and unique palatable heritages thereof. Written in a conversational style, the book is a handy culinary compilation which will bestow the reader with explorations regarding local African lifestyles history, art, clothing, music and perhaps even some song and dance. For tourists visiting these African countries – possessing a diversity of ethnic cultures, it is a worthy read regarding heritage and of-course African cuisine. A guide which should be included in any tourist’s travel pack and families. It is about a genuine story told with an extraordinary ability that draws parallel between the author’s struggle in the restaurant industry and in her personal life. Ultimately, her passion for food is where she finds solace to learn, heal and grow. Mother Daughter relationships can be extremely complex and Eunice is no exception. In the book, besides a plethora of authentic recipes and history, she shares candidly about her strained relationship with her daughter Mothei Makhetha. Being estranged for seven years, Mothei writes her mother a letter, in a desperate cry for help, which she hopes will begin the healing process. After receiving the letter, circumstances of her life took Eunice back home to her mother in Moletsane, Soweto. This happens while she is researching her culinary book authenticating the recipes through the help of her mother. This handing down of recipes from her mother gets them connected on a very deep level, thus, creating compassion and trust they never had. In desperation Eunice seeks counselling from her own mother to try and mend the relationship with her daughter. Their journey is one of true and sincere conversations handed down from one generation to another, around family meals and prayerful family meetings.
The book South African Culinary Heritage by Eunice Rakhale, is about local food history and traditions interlaced with family conversations. It illustrates the culinary diversity of Southern African cuisine and some neighbouring countries, comparing the similarities and unique palatable heritages thereof. Written in a conversational style, the book is a handy culinary compilation which will bestow the reader with explorations regarding local African lifestyles history, art, clothing, music and perhaps even some song and dance. For tourists visiting these African countries – possessing a diversity of ethnic cultures, it is a worthy read regarding heritage and of-course African cuisine. A guide which should be included in any tourist’s travel pack and families.
It is about a genuine story told with an extraordinary ability that draws parallel between the author’s struggle in the restaurant industry and in her personal life. Ultimately, her passion for food is where she finds solace to learn, heal and grow.
Mother Daughter relationships can be extremely complex and Eunice is no exception. In the book, besides a plethora of authentic recipes and history, she shares candidly about her strained relationship with her daughter Mothei Makhetha. Being estranged for seven years, Mothei writes her mother a letter, in a desperate cry for help, which she hopes will begin the healing process. After receiving the letter, circumstances of her life took Eunice back home to her mother in Moletsane, Soweto. This happens while she is researching her culinary book authenticating the recipes through the help of her mother. This handing down of recipes from her mother gets them connected on a very deep level, thus, creating compassion and trust they never had. In desperation Eunice seeks counselling from her own mother to try and mend the relationship with her daughter.
Their journey is one of true and sincere conversations handed down from one generation to another, around family meals and prayerful family meetings.
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South African
Culinary Heritage
A Table Of Culinary Heritage
And Sincere Conversations
South African
Culinary Heritage
A Table Of Culinary Heritage
And Sincere Conversations
Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
Copyright © 2021 Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
BOOK TOURISM
A Hallmark of
CEM Publishers
info@booktourismsa.com
www.booktourism.co.za
Editor Victor Mecoamere
Cover Christo Wolmarans
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be
reproduced or transmitted, in any form or by
any means, without prior permission from the
author or in accordance with the provisions of
the Copyright Act 1956 (as amended).
First published 2013 JHB South Africa
as a Coffee Table Book.
Republished 2018 JHB South Africa
ISBN 978-0-620-52886-3
ESP Catalogue
Learner Teacher Study Material
Library Resource, LTSM Senior Phase
Gauteng Department of Basic Education.
This book is dedicated to my late mother, Sebane Hlalele-
Rakhale, who in her twilight years ensured that the recipes
– which she still remembered, vividly – were tried out,
refined and accurate. Most of all, I am grateful for her
willingness to be an integral part of the vision of the book.
Heritage And Legacy Building Since 2009
Contents
Foreword 9
Introduction 11
1 CULINARY HERITAGE 15
Culinary Features
Culinary Symbols
Culinary Calendar
Culinary Destinations
Culinary Storytelling
The Dress Code
2 THE AUTHENTIC MENU 45
African Cuisine Definition
Kasi (Township) Kitchen
African Delicacies’
Street Food – Kota
Starters, Main Course, and Desserts
The Main Ingredient
Traditional Sauces
3 A GLASS OF SOMETHING 104
Shebeens – Drinking Spots
Traditional Drinks
Food and Wine Pairing – Wine In Simple Terms
4 AFRICAN TEA TIME 117
High Tea or Low Tea?
How to Make a Cup of Tea
African High Tea Menu
Tea Tasting
How to Serve Tea
My Tea Moments
5 FRONT OF HOUSE 131
Ground Rules
Handling Guest Complaints
Creating the Ambiance
Daily Routine
Serving Wine
Serving Food
We Have a Table...
The Myth of Perfection
6 BACK OF HOUSE 155
The Role Of The chef
The Chef’s Table
We Have A Booking…
7 HOUSE KEEPING 167
DECLUTTERING
About Housekeeping
Clutter
Decluttering
8 FLAVOURS AND 176
FAMILY CONVERSATIONS
Fresh Herbs or Dry Herbs?
Forced To Have a Conversation
Conversations
9 FAMILY DINNERS 201
Coming Home
Healthy Family Traditions
Ingredients for Real Conversations –
Rules Of Engagement
Family Prayer Meetings – The Saving Grace
10 RECIPE INDEX 229
Foreword
T
his book illustrates the culinary diversity of African
cuisine and the gastronomic range of some our
neighboring states, and compares the similarities
and dualities authenticating Africa’s unique epicurean
heritage. Written in a conversational style about African
cuisine, it elevates the subject to essentially be exported and
celebrated internationally.
This handy culinary compilation will present the reader with
explorations regarding local African lifestyles, history, art,
clothing, music, and – perhaps – even some song and dance.
For tourists visiting these different African countries
endowed with a diversity of ethnic cultures, it is a worthy
read regarding heritage and, of course, African Cuisine. It,
thus, becomes a guide which should be included in any
tourist’s travel package. The recipes are spiced with
conversations, like families enjoying their meal, to serving
tables as a maître d' at unique restaurants.
The book serves to stimulate culinary and sincere family
discussions. The servings are generous regarding the
knowledge of food, and the many personal anecdotes
touching author’s Eunice Rakhale-Molefe’s myriad life
experiences. Her recollections of her “Back-of-House” and
“Front of House” experiences in the restaurant business
makes it a fitting handbook for those wishing to indulge
themselves in unique African culinary delights. She tells the
African food story through hosting dining tables at
distinctive cultural heritage eateries or sites, bringing to light
the neglected aspects of African cuisine, family meals and
conversations.
Rakhale-Molefe is an independent author and publisher
with 22 titles and fourteen authors to her credit.
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Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
Of these, one – Thembeka Cynthia Sesi – is the winner of
the 2016-2017 SALB Award for Xhosa Poems. And ten
titles, including the one at hand, are listed in the Gauteng
Department of Education Learner Teacher Study Material,
LTSM) catalogue as library resources.
Christo Wolmarans. Hermanus, Cape Town South
Africa.
10
Introduction
W
e all have our own stories; enchanting stories of
our families, and stories of how we grew up; the
games we played, the clothes we wore, and the
food we ate. Then there are the melancholic family and
business stories, where things that God had intended for
good take an unscrupulous, hurtful turn. When we share
these stories, and reflect on these, in the light of our faith
and with others who read about them, we find ourselves
strengthened. Mine is a culinary story.
As I was researching the recipes, and authenticating these
with my mothers’ wisdom; and, in-between the food preps
and tastings, my mother and I began to have deep
conversations. We were supposed to have had these chats
years ago, especially the transformational and painful albeit
healing dialogues. The deeper we had dug into the recipes,
the deeper the conversations had become. So it was with the
many other chefs and family cooks whom I had also
interviewed while I was researching the book. Unaware of
the time, I only realised when I launched the book that it
had been seven years since I had started working on what
had become a truly personal project. Bon Appetit!
One can read about the great places of the world and the
people scattered across our colourful globe; however
nothing surpasses the excitement of reading about the
familiar sights and sounds, the locals, as well as the food and
ingredients; not forgetting the city landmarks, and even the
streets where one may have been raised. The intimacy one
feels with the text when the characters travel on a road you
may also be knowing too well is something out of the
ordinary.
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Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
It is like reminiscing about old times with an old friend,
evoking precious treasured memories. So enjoy the tour!
Restaurant tables have what we call “Table Talkers” to
promote items that are not ordinarily on the main menu.
These are interactive tools that portray key information. The
book features several “Table Talker” snippets or prompts,
which were designed for transforming discussions. Enjoy the
family talks!
The industry is in a high growth phase, with the volume of
food sales increasing at double digit rates annually. The
market for African cuisine products covers a large area of
diverse and densely populated groups for the middle to the
upmarket income groups. Coupled with that, is the fact that
the food service business is one of the largest growing
industries in our country. Although the restaurant industry
is competitive, the lifestyle changes created by modern
living continue to fuel its growth. The trend amongst the
groups is to dine out more frequently. This number has
been on the increase, not only due to lifestyle changes, but
also as having been influenced by the economic climate and
the increase of product variety.
There are new restaurants opening continually and more of
these are needed to keep pace with the increasing demand,
especially for fine dining. Sadly, the trend in fine dining has
been diluted by the explosion of franchised restaurants that
have adopted the convenience route, rather than the dining
experience as the main objective. Whilst the convenience
and financial rewards attached to these new economically
expedient establishments cannot be ignored, the patrons
seeking extraordinary dining experiences miss out on the
added value of eating away from home and the
accompanying ambiences that are favourable for healthy,
memorable conversations. Along with the pressures of
modern living comes more demand for people who are
compelled to eat more meals away from home, and to spend
a greater portion of their food rand at specialised food
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South African Culinary Heritage
establishments offering value for money wining and dining
experience.
There is also a substantial market segment that prefers to
eat from an a la carte menu, as these offer something for
everyone; also as the patrons may not be having the time to
cook at home. Patrons visit restaurants to escape from the
increasingly stressful and impersonal working
environments, to enter a world where capable and agreeable
people tend to their finest banqueting requirements.
Undoubtedly, top class cuisine will always provide that
relaxing, enjoyable and refreshing experience. I had the
privilege of providing such services over a long period, and
these are loaded with innumerable, yet bittersweet
recollections, and for all the related joys and sorrows, I am
eternally grateful!
As has been mentioned in the introduction, already, the
recipes are spiced with a variety of tête-à-têtes. However,
the idea of incorporating my personal life came about by
default. Firstly, I had just finished a pictorial Coffee Table
Book in 2010, and sought an accompanying, illustrative
image of a typical township butchery. There was none. All
the pictures I could find were the one’s portraying local
township butcheries as dingy and unhygienic
establishments, and most of which were situated near
hostels. Also, the stories around these pictures were not told
by the locals. This had enraged me and had even driven me
to do more research on local cuisine. And it is thus a
somewhat coincidental journey that has taken me seven
years.
Secondly, as part of authenticating the recipes, I spent a year
with my late mother in Moletsane, Soweto. Amid preparing
and tasting the different recipes, my mother and I began to
engage on a level that we had never done before, often
making me regret why we had not engaged in these deep
conversations many years ago, when I was younger.
13
Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
Thankfully, the more one matures, the more reflective they
become.
Nevertheless, my mother and I had deep, sincere
conversations that often had us touching on subjects that
were both sacred and healing. My mother was 82 years old
and I was 54 years old then. Food connected me to my
mother on a level that I had never thought would be
possible, and even brought the healing that we had both
needed. So it was with most chefs and the family cooks that
I had interviewed. Their stories were not only about food,
but their personal lives, as well. I was, therefore, duty-bound
to include these stories, turning the book into a
conversational piece.
The book will give the reader access to some of the
numerous transformational conversations that I was
honoured and privileged to have had with my late mother,
my elder sister, Monki and my brother, Elia, and with my
children, most of which had revolved around family meals,
including some hilarious business-related moments which
can be found in the “Back of House and Front of House”
chapter. As well as the not so hilarious experiences of an
intermittently topsy-turvy life – while I was seeking closure
– that had oftentimes hurled me into many rare, poignantly
introspective, and sincere, revealing exchanges; especially
with my loved ones.
TABLE TALKER
Culinary heritage is a phrase that incorporates the origins of
plants, herbs, animals and their distribution, including the
places where people might have first refined plants and
domesticated their animals; and also identifies the earliest
locations where people might have first processed,
prepared, sold and ate food.
14
One
Culinary Heritage
African cuisine is one of the heritage structures that makes
us, Africans, and is an integral part of our national
identity; and, therefore, needs to be passed down, through
the generations, and to be celebrated accordingly. A seat at
the table is a notable, favoured space. Welcome to my table,
your table, our table!
F
EATURES
All over the world, local cuisine is influenced by the
natural features of the land. Ours is – as is
expressed throughout South Africa’s nine
provinces – giving the country’s cuisine a rich legacy of
culinary treasures. The provinces are divided according to
different climates, natural vegetation, soil types and farming
practices. Traditional flavours come from herbs, leaves,
roots and stems, most of which are also used for medicinal
purposes, as shall be seen in most of the featured recipes in
the book.
SLAUGHTERING
Slaughtering is not unique to Africans, but many other
nations in the world. Slaughtering is neither a seasonal nor
a regular culinary ritual, but it remains a significant formality
among South Africa’s communities. This is usually an act
that might be performed to welcome a new baby, celebrate
a promotion at work or a newly acquired business venture,
or to bid farewell to the deceased. Families, friends and
neighbours come together to assist in the laborious work
associated with cleaning, curing and preparing the meat.
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Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
This process might include drying the animal hide to be
used for decorative purposes, either as a floor mat or wall
mat. Nothing is discarded, as each part of the slaughtered
animal forms part of the elaborate menu. Dinner may be
liver served with plain or deliciously flavoured pap or
porridge, with or without side dishes. Tripe forms part of the
entrée. Trotters and Skop (sheep’s head) provide a snack
which is often served a few days after the feast for those
who would have remained behind to help with the clean-up
after a family feast.
THE MAIN INGREDIENT
Meat Is Meat And Man Must Eat. “Indoda idli’ ‘inyama”– so
goes the isiZulu idiom. “A fish does not pull a cart” – so echoes
the Portuguese saying. Both these adages simply mean that
meat gives strength, which is a conviction that is held by
many South Africans.
During a feast, the Xhosa people eat meat as a snack while
waiting for the entrée, and they do not regard offal – a
recently-slaughtered animal’s entrails – as meat. However,
to most other South Africans, offal is the most popular meat
and is often served and eaten as the main meal.
A look back to the ancient citizens of the Republic of South
Africa gives us a deeper understanding of why meat is one
of the country’s main ingredients. The African nation
originates from Egypt. Over many centuries, endowed with
large herds of cattle, they migrated to the Great Lakes
region of East Africa, going south. Others kept going, while
some groups split up and settled along the way, with the
resultant settlement of the Swazi people in the north, the
Zulu people moved towards the east and the Xhosa people
settled in the south. The fact that they had a common Nguni
origin has led to a lot of similarities in the indigenous
African languages, the people’s national dishes, the oftenoverlapping
ingredients and recipes, and the herbs.
Africans are the masters of the art of survival, hunting and
16
South African Culinary Heritage
fishing. Antelopes, ostriches, hares and hedgehogs were the
main meals. Interestingly, rat hunting was still a popular
pastime in the townships until excessive urban development
constrained this particular activity. For smaller meals, it used
to be wild bird hunting. For snacks it used to be locusts,
caterpillars, sand crickets, beetles and the ever-popular
Mopani worms, also known as Masonja. As the continent
became less wild, domesticated livestock became the main
source of meat.
Being the main ingredient, meat consumption in
South Africa exceeds production. South Africa’s meat
production only provides 85% of the requirement. The
balance of 15% must be supplemented by imports from our
neighbours, including Namibia, Botswana and Swaziland,
and also sourcing as far as Australia, New Zealand and the
European Union, EU countries.
Cattle farming is practiced mostly in the Eastern Cape, Free
State, KwaZulu-Natal, Limpopo and Northern Cape. Sheep
and goat farming is concentrated in Northern Cape and
Eastern Cape, Western Cape, Free State and Mpumalanga.
South Africa’s national lamb dish is accurately named the
Karoo Lamb Shank for its succulent flavours. The Merino
Sheep, which feeds on Karoo bush, Brakbos, Gannabos and
Wild Rosemary, bring into line the quality of South African
lamb with that of the Australian sheep. Mutton is produced
from the Dorper, a highly productive and locally developed
mutton breed for the dry regions, notably Mpumalanga and
North West.
Looking back at those who came before us, we know that
the Ostrich was the bird of choice, especially when roasted,
of course; and their eggs often provided a wholesome meal
out in the wild. Notably, one Ostrich egg is equal to 24 hen
eggs and incredulously takes an hour to boil! The shells
make excellent water storage containers that could be
hidden underground for desperate times.
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Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
UMLEQWA -CHICKEN
Chicken forms an affordable and alternative source to red
meat; therefore, South Africa’s poultry farming is more
intensive than that of sheep and cattle production. As a
result, poultry farms are found near the metropolitan areas
of Gauteng, Durban, Pietermaritzburg, Cape Town and
Port Elizabeth.
Many cooks agree that free range, organic and corn-fed
chicken is tastier. Free range chickens are not raised under
factory conditions and have access to open air runs. Unlike
their intensively reared counterparts, Free Range Chickens’
growth is not accelerated by their feed and restricted
movement. Because free range chickens grow and develop
slower, these birds are often older by the time they reach the
required weight, and therefore better flavoured.
Corn fed chickens have a striking, bright yellow skin. This
is partly due to their diet of maize, which often tends to be
intensified by the additional colouring in the feed. These
types of chickens are not necessarily free range and may be
raised intensively. Organic chickens, on the other hand, are
fed on a natural diet and are raised in humane conditions.
The chicken may be sold fresh and frozen and sold
individually or in larger, and more economic packs; and may
be sold on, or off the bone. Chicken quarters may be leg or
wing joints that have a portion of breast meat attached. The
leg joint may be divided into thighs, small well-flavoured
dark meat joints and drumsticks. Because the meat is
compact, these portions require longer cooking time.
Tender breast portions are entirely white meat and are sold
on, or off the bone, and, also, may be skinned or skinless.
Portions on the bone have the most flavour when stewed
or braised. Boneless chicken breasts are called fillets.
The small chicken breast strips that can be found under the
chicken breast are often sold separately. The name
“Supreme” is given to the chicken breast portions that
18
South African Culinary Heritage
include the wing bone. Eighty percent of poultry meat
production is that of the Baby Chicken market, which is
suitable for grilling and roasting. The rest comprises of
mature Free-Range Chicken, or Umleqwa – on which I will
elaborate, further in the book – and is often prepared for
special celebrations, including Christmas parties.
Umleqwa is the traditional Christmas feast bird.
Slaughtered chicken meat which is boiled or stewed is rarely
available in the retail stores. These chickens are aged older
than a year old and are large, hence their being ideal for
traditional celebrations, especially Christmas family feasts.
Simply put, freshly slaughtered chicken is South Africa’s
Christmas bird. Umleqwa is too tough for roasting, but is
typically full of flavour and, therefore, does not need heavy
spicing, other than deliberate, slow cooking.
There are many types of small chickens. These include
Poussin, Spring Chicken, Roasting Chicken and Guinea Fowl.
Poussin is a French name for a young chicken. Weighing
350g, this would usually feed one person. Spring Chicken
feeds one to – maybe – two people, and weighs 750g.
Roasting Chicken, also called a “Roaster”, weighs 3kg, and can
be pot-roasted whole, or in portions, poached, braised or
stewed. Guinea Fowl originate from the coast of Guinea in
West Africa, hence the name. These fowls weigh 750g and
have a wild game flavour. Because their meat is quite dry,
these types of chickens need moist cooking.
Three steps of jointing a chicken.
Step 1: With the breast facing upwards and a sharp knife
pointing inward and detach the leg from the thigh, then cut
through the ball and socket. Repeat the same procedure
with the other leg.
Step 2: Using a kitchen scissors, cut along the breast bone
between the breast sections. Turn the chicken over and cut
the backbone, then further cut off the wing tips at the joints.
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Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
Step 3: Cut each breast section in half, leaving a portion of
the breast attached to the wing. Cut each leg through the
knee joint to separate the thigh and drumstick (can easily
form eight meat portions).
Obtaining and storing chicken meat. When buying fresh
chicken, choose one with soft discoloration-free skin.
Chicken is highly inclined to accumulate bacterial growth,
so the meat must be kept chilled and stored separately from
red meat, and should ideally be placed on the top shelf to
avoid blood contamination.
LET’S TALK ABOUT FISH
Fish, while being easy to prepare, is delicate, but it is yet
another favourite in my list of meat portions. South Africa’s
Cape Coast attracts thousands of local and international
tourists each year, who are always eager to witness the
diverse range of fish, among many other varied wildlife
attractions.
Fishing in Africa’s principal cargo port, Durban, began with
fish traps made from wattle fencing which was woven with
reeds by our forebears, the Luthuli people, and was a trade
they had inherited from the San people (the first citizens of
our country).
And, of course, the Cape Province’s two oceans, comprising
of the natural phenomenon of the warm Indian Ocean
meeting the icy Atlantic Ocean, has stimulated the most
ideal conditions for a healthy migration of fish. Seafood is
therefore an integral part of the South African menu, and
this is replicated in many other intriguing, fascinating and
mouthwatering ways and styles through the East and West
African coastline countries, even in Africa’s mainland
countries, especially near fish-carrying rivers and lakes. The
most popular fish are the Black Bream (Galjoen), Kingklip
and Kabeljou.
20
South African Culinary Heritage
Black Bream (Galjoen) is South Africa’s national fish.
This is a powerful swimmer and keeps mostly to shallow
waters, and is often found in rough surf and sometimes right
next to the shore. In KwaZulu-Natal, this fish is known as
Blackfish or Black Bream. It bears the remarkably dusky
colours on the head and the immense shiny scales.
Kingklip is one of the well-liked fish in South Africa. This
type of fish is caught in the deep waters of South Africa,
occurring mostly on the rocky grounds, hence the moniker
of the king of the rock fish. Because it is a relatively slow
growing fish and cannot sustain a targeted fishery, catches
are restricted to a precautionary catch limit of 3 000 tons per
year. It is for this reason that Kingklip is also managed as a
by-catch species. A by-catch is a fish that is often caught
unintentionally while catching certain target species and
target sizes of fish or crabs.
Kabeljou is a much sought-after fish during the months of
October, through to April.
FOCUS ON INDIGENOUS GRAIN
Maize is NOT South Africa’s indigenous grain. It was
imported from South America and has since been
naturalised as our staple food. It is the largest locallyproduced
field crop and the most important source of
carbohydrates in South Africa. Maize is mainly produced in
Free State; 47%, to be precise. As our staple food, maize
accompanies most traditional meals. It comes in various
forms, including Samp, maize bread, maize porridge and the
ever-popular thicker version of maize porridge, known as
Pap.
The street corner corn vendors, with their coal braziers, are
a common sight during the maize season, and they typically
grill the corns on the braziers while the customers are
waiting, with the option of a boiled version.
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Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
Mabele, Sorghum IS South Africa’s indigenous grain.
Mabele is a staple food for breakfast, either as plain or
flavoured porridge, or a sour porridge, which is known in
Setswana as Ting ya Mabele. This staple could also be
prepared and served in a stiffer version, known as Pap, for
the main course. Mabele also serve as a livestock feed
component in the rural communities. The Mabele grain is
also the main ingredient for Umqombothi, Sorghum Beer.
Famous South African musician Vusi Mahlasela highlights
the importance of this grain in his celebrated song, Silang
Mabele, south Sotho for grinding the Mabele grain.
The song is a rallying call for unity to fight poverty. In the
song, Mahlasela sings in six different South African
languages, including the universally-common English
language, calling on the nation to get on with the job of
making the country work better for the benefit of all the
country’s people. Also in the song, the modest yet
outspoken artist says that we had celebrated when our
leaders returned from exile; and that, when conflict was
expected, we had applied the wisdom of forgiveness. But,
after the celebrations, and having yielded to the
overwhelming spirit of forgiveness, the time has come to
produce, and to unite, and to feed all the people the Mabele
grain, symbolising unity, goodwill and brotherhood.
Renowned novelist, the late Nadine Gordimer – whom I
had the pleasure of meeting, just before her passing, at the
African Century International African Writers Conference
held at the University of Free State in Bloemfontein in 2012
– had this to say about Mahlasela’s indigenous celebratory
music: “Vusi Mahlasela sings as a bird does: in total response to
being alive. He is a natural, and blessed with the gift of song. He has
the genuine artist’s highly intelligent application to develop his heavensent
talent; becoming a guitarist, a poet and composer of ever-growing
accomplishment. As music runs in his veins, so does strong awareness
of our times and place and the people, who, like him, give expression
to these. He generously brings new life to the work of other poets by
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South African Culinary Heritage
setting it to his music, adding the passion, warmth and tenderness of
his voice. ‘Silang Mabele’ is at the peak of his achievements; a
wonderful range of originality, joyous, humorous, lamenting and
celebrating. Music was at the heart of the struggle for freedom; and
Vusi was there. Vusi’s music is here to stir and delight us. He’s a
national treasure.”
Umqombothi, black SA’s traditional beverage.
Umqombothi is a traditional beverage made from South
Africa’s indigenous Mabele grain and Sorghum. No local
African meal is complete without Umqombothi! Without an
acquired taste you may find it – dare I say – bitter, or harsh
to the palate! So, you might wish to add a dash of plain ice
cream to your portion of the drink, which is low in alcohol
(a mere four percent, 4%). The ingredients which are used
to brew Umqombothi are equal measures of the Mabele grain
and Sorghum Malt. As with traditional ginger beer and
dumplings, the recipe for Umqombothi is passed down from
generation to generation. The necessary brewing equipment
consists of a cast iron pot, a custom-made strainer, and a big
drum for storage and a small calabash for serving.
Almost every next township kitchen possesses one or two
of these utensils. Without these, there would not be any
brewing happening in these township homes. Virtually each
predominantly black South African neighbourhood –
especially the townships – has its specialised or expert
brewer. Such a brewer is never summoned, but is ever so
ready to step in whenever there is a celebration of some sort.
Umqombothi is often incorrectly connected with ancestral
worship. This myth must be dispelled, as Umqombothi is a
traditional alcoholic beverage. Where the Westerners splash
out on bubbly (sparkling wine or champagne), Africans
enjoy the pleasure of Umqombothi. Undoubtedly, every
nation has their own traditional brew!
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Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
WHAT ABOUT CROPS?
Potatoes are regarded as a vegetable on our menu.
Potatoes make up about 40% of the vegetable farmers’
gross income, while tomatoes, onions, peas and sweet corn
contribute about 38%. The potato crop is grown mainly in
Free State, Mpumalanga, Limpopo, and KwaZulu-Natal.
The potato’s “family members” include sweet potatoes,
which come in two different colors, red or white-skinned
sweet potatoes, depending on their unique origin. Yam is a
tuber that looks like a rough potato, which matures well in
dry season and comes in two colours, white or yellow.
Other tubers are Amadumbe, The indigenous African
Potato, and is a much-loved snack among the Zulu people
in KwaZulu-Natal. It is coarse, with rough skin. Easy to
prepare, Amadumbe are boiled in their skin and cut into
wedges. Finally, there is Okra, a vegetable that is used
extensively throughout mainland Africa.
Cabbage is a daily food in most South African homes.
Like many of our African counterparts, our vegetables
consist of leaves. In Zambia, leaf picking is a huge industry.
The packaged leaves are predominantly made up of
beetroot, potato, pea and pumpkin leaves.
Morogo, or Pigweed, is South Africa’s national vegetable,
and is a generic name for wild spinach, of which the most
popular type in South Africa is Thepe, as it known among
Basotho; Umfino as it is known among Amazulu, or Pigweed.
However, each African country has its own form of wild
spinach:
Matapa – Malawi;
Cacani – Mozambique;
Mochicha – Kenya;
Moloukia – Egypt, and;
Rape – Zambia and Zimbabwe.
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South African Culinary Heritage
The authenticity of Morogo lies in the
texture. This type of Pigweed can stomped
lightly to get the fine texture and be jazzed
up without adding cream, or with onions
and grated potatoes. For variety, one could
add crushed nuts or peanut butter.
Mukusule, a type of vegetable leaf, is a Venda dish that
consists of a variety of sun-dried wild leaves, including
pumpkin, beetroot, bean plant and potato leaves. These are
usually stored away to be used in the winter months. The dried
leaves are soaked in water then cooked until soft.
Like tomatoes, Pumpkin (one of the oldest vegetables that
has been around long before colonisation) is easy to grow. It
is not uncommon to find one in the suburban backyard
garden. Pumpkin serves as something sweet to complement
the meat. Make certain that it is always part of your menu.
Your guests will be happy, and most of all, yours truly.
Mangangajane are the traditional dried fruits. Before the
advent of pickling, fruits were dried. Drawing from Malaysian
experience, pickling is now showcased a lot in our kitchens.
THE AFRICAN BREAD BASKET
Dumpling is a piece of dough placed over the stew and
nicely cooked in the stew’s steam. Dumpling recipes, like
bread, are handed over from generation to generation. It is
also a familiar menu item to the Chinese and Jamaicans. Same
as with our national menu, the dumpling is a common feature
on the menus of many locals. As you knead and strengthen
the dough, you pray for the bread to be a blessing during the
Breaking of Bread, which is observed at meal times, and is,
chiefly, a lesson I learned from Sharon Lurie of the Chai FM
Cooking Show. This was during a cultural exchange cooking
demonstration, in which we were celebrating Heritage Day at
the Witkoppen Primary School, Fourways.
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Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
Bread is a significant menu detail. Following in the
footsteps of maize, bread is also a dough which can be used
for making dumpling, baked bread or steamed bread. Our
modern ovens originate from our grandparents’ ground
ovens, which later became mud ovens – a hole in the ground
with wires to hold the bread. Morocco with its communal
bakeries is a true reflection of the roots and importance of
bread to Africans. However, for steam cooking, it was the clay
pot, which, design-wise, was initially filled with water and
supported by sticks, and was later reinforced with wires. In
the different African countries, the African bread basket
usually has the following varieties:
Zambia’s mealie bread (another name for corn bread), is popular
all over Africa. Instead of cornmeal, the cornbread in Zambia
is made with fresh corn kernels; Chapattis’ – Popular in the
Congo and Kenya; Mupotohayi is Zimbabwe’s cornmeal bread,
and is also known as Chimodho; Nthochi is Malawian banana
bread. Nigerian bread, Agege, is named after a suburb in Lagos
State, and it is much loved for its dense texture and sweet
taste. Moroccan bread, known as Khobz, is also referred to as
flatbread, and is characterised by a round, flattish shape and a
slightly coarse texture. The crust is ideal for dipping and
scooping up tagines, salads and other spicy Moroccan dishes.
The crust is so preferred, in fact, that many Moroccans will
remove and discard the soft interior from thicker loaves of
this particular bread.
Africa’s fast food snack is Amagwinya – Fat Cakes.
Almost every southern African country has Amagwinya, a
traditional fast food snack. You buy these when you need
something that will kill the hunger pangs for a couple of
hours. A fat cake is basically fried bread or a type of fried
doughnut, fritter or flapjack, but without the fruit or other
choice fillings. The ingredients may differ, depending on
which country one may be coming from; but the cooking
method is the same, and Mali’s sweet fried bread is a good
example. In Malawi, you can buy pre-mixed Mandazi flour for
those who may be wishing to avoid the tedium and labour of
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South African Culinary Heritage
making the dough from scratch. Fat cakes are commonly sold
on the street corners and many locals are willing to travel long
distances to buy Amagwinya from a supposedly reputable
source who may be known to be using just the right flavour,
size and shape to hit the spot, each time, so to speak.
Koeksusters, one of our other national dishes, are – to some
extent – similar to Mali’s sweet fried bread. The trick of
delicious Koeksusters is to have these being crunchy outside,
and soft inside.
Communal eating is one of the defining elements of African
food culture. In most parts of Africa, eating together is an
important part of building relationships, and this goes well
beyond simply sharing a meal. And it entails more than just
collectively digging into a delicious meal. The meal is served
in traditional serving pots, bowls or platters. Bread is used for
slightly sticky dishes such as tripe, sauces and stews.
The Breaking of Bread is an expression which refers to the
action of sharing bread at the commencement of a meal. This
bread-based tradition goes hand-in-hand with the African
tradition of communal meals. As part of the traditional dining
experience, the bread is served after the “sip and greet” session
of Ginger Beer or Umqombothi, just before the starters would
be served. Starting from the host, the bread is broken into a
sizeable portion and handed over to the next guest. Breaking
the bread, rather than cutting, is the common way of serving
and sharing the bread. From ancient to modern times, from
peasants to haute cuisine, this African ritual is a universal
element of the dining experience.
CULINARY SYMBOLS
These are what I refer to as the badges or markings of a nation.
The Yellowwood tree is our National tree. However, the
indigenous trees are the Marula and Baobab. Marula, which has
been anglicised from the south Sotho name of Morula, is a
tree that is well-known for its intoxicating fruits. During the
harvesting months of February and March, man and animal
27
Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
alike become intoxicated with the abundant consumption of
the Marula fruit, which is also high in Vitamin C. Then there
is the Baobab fruit which has a variety of uses. The powdery
white interior, which is usually crushed into a pulp, may be
used as a thickener in jams, gravies and ice cream.
The exotic Protea flower, with tough, woody stems and
heavy flower heads, is South Africa’s National flower.
However, it is the edible flowers that interest me; including
Society Garlic, Pansies, Gardenias and Violets. It is the idea of
tossed flowers in a salad, combined with the surprised look
on guests’ faces that is both intriguing and often amusing.
Violets – These are the most well-known of all edible
flowers, and are easy to grow; Pansies – Not only do these
flowers look beautiful, but they are also very tasty; Gardenias
– These strikingly beautiful flowers are eaten raw, pickled or
preserved in honey, and can be used as yellow coloring for
other edible fruits. Strawberry leaves – These flowers are a
prime food source and are eaten raw, though most people
wait for the fruit to ripen. The cultivated blossoms are pink,
while the wild-growing types are white. Society Garlic – This
type of flower smells and tastes far more like a vegetable
than a blossom, with a flavour that is more like that of an
onion, but is also peppery. It thrives in hot weather.
The smell of this flower used to bring hilarious memories
of my late paternal grandmother, Nkgono Ma-Fume. She
used to roll out the leaves and stuff them in her nostrils for
the common cold and flu. She would then be seen walking
around, with the leaves protruding out of her nostrils, while
she was doing her daily business as if all was normal; while
the other people would be starring and wondering what was
going on. This used to be a very funny sight, I must say!
Also, the Society garlic flower can be used in salads or soups,
or anywhere – in fact – where you may want a bit of garlic,
pepper and onion flavour. As with many cultivated crops,
all edible flowers need to be harvested carefully.
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South African Culinary Heritage
As a commercial crop, these kinds of exotic plants are often
saturated with chemicals to keep them alive and looking
good until they reach the market.
CULINARY CALENDARS
These are days on which we celebrate significant culinary
essentials and related elements. The more recognisable days
are: World Pinotage Day – Marked on each second Saturday
of October, annually; World Food Day – A special culinary
day that is marked on the 16th of October, each new year;
Chefs Day – This day honours the world’s unsung heroes
of the restaurants’ kitchens worldwide on 20 October, and;
Global Hand Washing Day – Celebrated on 15th of
October, each year, encouraging the keeping of the most
basic tools of food making, universally.
International Pinotage Day, held on each Saturday of
October. The day honouring South Africa’s indigenous grape,
the Pinotage, is celebrated with a variety of events, including
food and wine pairing. The Pinotage is a uniquely South
African grape variety that is held in high esteem locally and
internationally. This distinctive wine is on the eighth
position on the list of total wine grape plantings in South
Africa, and is mostly farmed in the Little Karoo, the
Malmesbury area, Olifants River region, and Orange River
region, Paarl, Robertson, Stellenbosch and Worcester.
World Food Day, 16 October. This day was established by
Food Agriculture Organisation member countries at the
organisation’s twentieth general conference in November
1979. This important date goes hand-in-hand with an annual
theme which is in line with the United Nations General
Assembly’s designation. The purpose is to raise awareness
about hunger and to encourage people to act proactively,
compassionately and humanely in helping in the fight
against hunger.
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Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
International Chefs Day. On October 20 each year for
over eighty years, now, chefs around the world celebrate
International Chefs Day. It is an initiative of the World
Association of Chefs’ Societies, WACS. On this day, the
association’s aspiration is to make a positive change within
the chefs’ vocation, and to promote positive regard for
chefs in the sight of the local communities and beyond.
This is what Gissur Gudmundsson, the President of the
World Association of Chefs, has said about the world’s
unsung heroes of the restaurants’ kitchens across the world:
“Chefs can make a big difference when they share their skills, and as
and by doing so, they educate people around them. There are countless
ways they can contribute (towards the enhancement of societies): They
volunteer at schools to teach potential chefs more about their industry.
Washing your hands before handling food may be taken for granted,
but from my travels around the world, it is obvious that humans need
to be constantly reminded (about this crucial hygienic chore). For an
example, you can teach a group of cooks the proper way of butchering
meat, so this will generally help them to prevent wastage.”
Gudmundsson adds. “If you are good at what you do, you can play
your small part in feeding the planet in the future. Chefs can make an
impact on people’s lives with their skills, and it goes beyond just pure
pleasure on the plate.”
15 October, National Hand-Washing Day. This is a
collaboration between various government departments at
national and provincial level, notably the Departments of
Health and Human Settlements, UNICEF, various NGOs
and private sector partners. Germs can transfer to your
hands whenever you touch something that contains germs,
and whenever you could be handling raw meat, using a dirty
cleaning cloth or touching a surface that someone else
might have sneezed over, or after using the toilet. If you
then touch your eyes, nose or mouth, a wound, or food or
water that you then drink, these germs can enter your body
and make you ill. The germs on your hands can also spread
and possibly infect others near you. One of the best ways to
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South African Culinary Heritage
stop germs from spreading is to wash your hands regularly
with soap and water. If your hands look dirty, you need to
wash them to remove the dirt and germs. Wash your hands
with soap and water. Do not just run your hands under
running water. After washing your hands, rinse off the tap
before you close the tap. You should be mindful of what
you touch with your hands, at all times. Keep your finger
nails short and clean.
Hands are primary traditional tools of the trade. On the
other hand, the first kitchen tool to appear on the table was
a knife, to cut and spear off the meat, and that was in the
17th century. It is interesting to note that, before then, all
nations ate with their hands. It was not until the 19th
century that the four-pronged fork was introduced, to join
the spoon and knife. The advantage of not using cutlery was
that people felt more obliged to wash their hands, both
before and after eating. This was a norm, worldwide. Hand
washing is a ritual that – to Africans and other nationalities
– Is like culture. Culture makes sense when you know that
it is not just a ritual, but also a hygienic precaution. In a pure
traditional setting, one eats with one’s right hand from the
plate, never the left hand, unless one is eating something
that requires the use of both hands. If there is one
communal dish, platter or pot offered, one eats only from
that part of the communal dish, platter or pot that is directly
in front of you. A good host will ensure that the communal
platters are circulated timeously and adequately. Smoking
does not take place in the same area as where the food is
being served; and a polite guest will wait to smoke until after
the meal is finished. Typically, the guests stay around for a
while longer after the meal, to allow some time for aftermeal
conversations.
Africa Day, commemorated on May 25, annually. The
day celebrates our continent, Africa, through music, food
and cultural exchange. Presently, though, the day is not
celebrated in a way that is worthy of what it deserves, and it
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Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
has sadly become more like a street bash, to say the least.
South Africa’s freedom and democracy should be
celebrated – not in isolation – but, fittingly, as part of the
African continent. The day is supposed to remind us of our
African heritage and to reawaken us to Africa-wide unity.
When an ordinary commodity like food becomes part of
entertainment entailing music and storytelling, it then
becomes more than just eating. The different, yet distinctive
culinary events are held at distinctive Heritage eateries.
Banqueting and the culture of dining, contrary to
common belief is not foreign to Africa. From the time of
our ancestors, banqueting has always been highly-esteemed
in celebrating significant family and social events. It might
be celebrating a new leader, the acquisition of new land, a
good harvesting season, the birth of a baby, or a wedding.
Slaughtering is a big part of African banqueting. In
China, there is a hotel which serves free range chickens on
their menu. What is unique about this hotel is that the
chickens are bred and slaughtered in a well-kept backyard at
the hotel, and served with great pride as part of their culture.
I am not suggesting, in any way, for our hotels to start
chicken farms on their backyards, but for these
establishments to recognise that slaughtering is not a
barbaric African act that it is made out to be, and also, that
this practice is not necessarily related to ancestral worship.
But that it is part of a food culture that is practiced by many
nations across the world. When the original Johannesburg
market (now known as Museum Africa, and its diverse
range of artworks) was established, they had a facility for
slaughtering meat to cater for the African tradition of
slaughtering. With the development of urban areas, this
need has been taken care of by the butchers, who are able
to supply the slaughtered carcass which is already cut and
portioned in its entirety, meat, skin, offal, and all!
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South African Culinary Heritage
Mageu, traditional ginger beer or Umqombothi is
offered as a gesture of welcome. This customarily
happens after the handshake or the gentle strike of palms
together, or the silent clapping of hands, followed by a slight
bow. Guests then gather around the fire in a communal
eating style, as the different courses began to flow
intermittently, and as the calabash of umqombothi
circulates from guest to guest. The calabash will always be
found somewhere in the kitchen cupboards, waiting for the
right moment to begin the festivities. Traditional African
beer (alcoholic) and Ginger Beer (non-alcoholic) in 20 to 50
litre barrels would have been prepared, days before, with
which to wash down the celebratory meals. In the African
setting, the music and the dance accompany elegant and
elaborately-designed dresses for women and suits for men,
making banqueting an altogether more spectacular
experience.
The Annual Offal Feast is held in July, annually. Offal
known as “variety meat” in some countries, refers to all the
offcuts from the carcass including the organs, tail, oxtail,
feet and head. Most offal is rich and richly flavoured. This
may be eaten on its own, paired or blended with other
meats. Unlike regular meat, which is often hung and
matured for several weeks before using, offal has a short
shelf life and should be bought fresh and used quickly. It
might not be everyone’s cup of tea and not for the faint
hearted, but for many South Africans who are offal lovers,
the annual festival is a not-to-be-missed experience. The
offal dishes are served alongside port and sherry tasting.
The Soweto Kota Festival is a proudly South African
township fast food event which is in September each
year. In September 2017, the Soweto Theatre in Jabulani,
Soweto hosted the first annual Soweto Kota Festival. The
popular festival is now held at different areas in Gauteng
during Heritage and Tourism Month in September,
annually.
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Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
Heritage Day, 24 September. This is a significant day on
our national calendar. It is for this reason that this book’s
launch is being celebrated during this month, which is also
tourism month. Most importantly, Book Tourism, the
company that is producing and publishing this book – and
is a hallmark of CEM Publishers – was founded and
established by my daughter, Mothei Makhetha and myself,
in 2017. The business concept was born out of a need to
preserve and for us to be able to own our African stories
through the writing and publishing Heritage books, the
packaging of South Africa’s heritage as a commodity that
could be exported and participate and even compete in the
international market; and to provide hospitality training,
mainly on front and back of house related principles, food
and wine training on authentic South African Cuisine.
Book Tourism also endeavours to promote Heritage books
as a lifestyle commodity, and with the intention of
incorporating the heritage books into the elements of the
tourism industry, thus benefitting the tour guides, travel
agencies, hotels, and national heritage sites. For us, this is a
tourism and publishing partnership that aims at passing on
family legacies from one generation to the next.
Picnic Day, 16 December coincides with the nationallydecreed
holiday, Day of Reconciliation. On this day, the nation
is encouraged to focus on overcoming the conflicts of the
past and to building a new nation that is anchored on unity,
goodwill and brotherhood. For some, this is a day to visit
the heritage structures and round things off with a picnic.
My favourite picnic venue is Thokoza Park in Rockville,
Soweto. The park features fully equipped play areas for
children; and one of its picnic spots has a dam, just across a
busy road forming part of the popular Naledi to Chris Hani
Baragwanath taxi route. Most importantly, it is the unique
vibe that can only be found in Soweto that I enjoy. There
are more details on Thokoza Park towards the end of the
book under local eateries.
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South African Culinary Heritage
CULINARY DESTINATIONS
Eateries-Interestingly, the African vocabulary does not
have the word restaurant rather an eatery, a place to eat,
Sesotho or Setswana for Dijong. This is why you will notice
that, throughout the book, I will be referring to food
establishments as eateries as opposed to restaurants. An
eatery is a restaurant that relates to the locals, their cuisine
and the associated authentic indigenous ingredients.
Pan African Mall, Alexandra. For Masonja, dried or cured
Mopani Worms, as well as various other traditional fare, one
has to look to the enterprising vendors colourfully
populating the informal trading spaces dotting the
pavements around the Pan African Mall and the centre’s
minibus taxi terminus. Whistles, fancy verbalised signals
and cajoling from the competing sellers invite both the
homegrown folks and tourists to their diverse range of
perishables including cooked takeaway meals, as well as
vegetables, and various meats. This bustling market is where
I used to source out the popular Mogodu, tripe and Maotwana,
trotters for my restaurant in Sandton and Fourways.
Soweto Theatre arts and crafts fair. On each last Sunday
of the month, the ever popular Soweto Theatre arts and
crafts fair becomes a thriving market as it hosts the
evergreen Seven Colour Sundays food event. And, on this
particular market day, an array of local food vendors offer
authentic delicious homemade meals amid a festive
atmosphere in the covered Amphitheater area in front of
the iconic Soweto Theatre. This is also a platform for
talented local designers and craftspeople to sell their wares.
Here, also, one can pick up some unique local crafts and
fashion at good prices, and there are always an ample array
of foods and drinks on sale. Undoubtedly, this is also a
chilled and friendly place to enjoy the Soweto weekend
buzz, often complemented by free concerts rendered by
leading and aspirant local musicians and poets. For authors,
including yours truly, this is also an ideal place where readers
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Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
and writers can interact, and I always make sure to bring
along copies of the different titles available in the Book
Tourism stable. My best experience at event was when I
placed an order of a handmade stylish hat in the morning
and in between managing my book stall, managed to witness
the hat been handcrafted; and – by six o’clock, when I had
packed up – I had my trendy hat on hand.
The Bryanston Organic Market has one such place. After
a good meal at the Garden Eatery, one can walk around the
market stalls to get all the authentic indigenous ingredients
that are not available at one’s own local vegetable market or
grocery store. Items like Sorghum-Mabele for Umqombothi;
Baobab powder which is used as a thickener in jams and
gravies and the ever so popular Morogo-Thepe (Pigweed). The
market, which is held on Thursdays and Saturdays, has been
an excellent opportunity for me to promote our heritage
through the book, and for one to interact with both the
locals and tourists.
As has been mentioned already, Dijong is a Sesotho word
that means a place to eat. Most of our local eateries feature
open flame grilling, popularly known as Tshisanyama,
IsiZulu for grilled meat. It is Africa’s San people who
began and mastered the art of fire-making, using stones,
rubbed together, to start the fire.
The tradition of Tshisanyama (local version of US-style
Barbeques) comes from this historic art of open fire
cooking. It evolved into using drums for fire-making,
known as Mpaola in Sesotho or Imbaula in isiZulu. An
Mpaola or an Imbaula is a drum with punctured holes on the
sides. This has subsequently evolved into the current drum
cut in half with a firm stand, designed to support and
provide safety. The idea of Tshisanyamas – which are mostly
located next to butcheries – is to buy your choice of meat
cuts from the butcher and have these grilled on the
Tshisanyama’s ready and waiting open fire.
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South African Culinary Heritage
The meat is served with Pap and seasoned with salt, pepper
and other spices.
Getting there, ideally using the local style of travel?
The Reya-Vaya bus system, in place since 2010, connects
with Gautrain at Gautrain Park station. The station is the
most southern Gautrain station situated adjacent to
Metrorail's Johannesburg Park Station in Braamfontein.
This underground station is located diagonally beneath the
Smit and Wolmarans Streets. Gautrain is an 80-kilometre
rapid transit commuter rail system in Gauteng which links
Johannesburg, Pretoria, Ekurhuleni and the OR Tambo
International Airport. The railway line has been in
operation since 7 June 2012. The Reya-Vaya bus service
route gives fun-seekers easy access to the large Thokoza
Park in Soweto.
Picnic @ Thokoza Park Soweto. This is a picnic area that
lies on Ntuli Street in Rockville, Soweto. The park is large,
measuring 4.5 hectares, including the Moroka Dam and
spreading on both sides of Vundla Street, all the way to
Chris Hani Road, which is the longest street in Soweto,
linking roughly 70% of the suburbs in the township. The
park has benches, picnic spots, fountains, and a big screen
television, and boasts large fields that are perfect for soccer
and other ball games, completed by an abundance of
protected birdlife. The park is often used for concerts and
other huge events.
The Moroka Dam was named after Dr James Moroka, a
former president of the African National Congress, ANC.
Both Thokoza Park and the Moroka Dam Wetlands
Rehabilitation projects were awarded Gold Merit Awards
at the unendorsed Livable Communities Awards in London
in 2010. Leading up to the awards, the Moroka Dam had
been distilled, and the catchment area completely
revamped, while the park has also received a complete
landscaping that has included the planting of indigenous
trees, the paving of footpaths, the sprucing up of the
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Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
asphalt on the roads surrounding the park, the adding of
new street lights, and improving the look and feel of the
play areas for the children and rehabilitation of the streams’
edges.
Dobsonville Road House Butchery is conveniently
positioned along the busy Elias Motswaledi Street in
Dobsonville, Soweto. The Rea-Vaya busses from all parts
of the Johannesburg to Dobsonville route make it easily
accessible for many commuting locals. It can also be
accessed through Main Reef Road, running from as far as
Roodepoort, towards Fordsburg, south west of
Johannesburg. The eatery is owned by a family that has been
in the business for many years.
The Roadhouse Drive-In concept originates from America.
This became popular in the 1940’s and slowly spread across
South Africa in the seventies. Dairy Den was a popular
Roadhouse in the seventies and used to be conveniently
situated in Mondeor, a few kilometers from Soweto. The
Roadhouse concept later reemerged through the
Mamlethi’s eatery in White City, Jabavu, Soweto, with
roasted chicken as a popular specialty which was loved by
many diners. Mamlethi’s operated for 24 hours, round the
clock, and was also a park-and-buy joint, with no seating
areas.
The idea of the Dobsonville Roadhouse, yet another
Roadhouse-style eatery in Dobsonville, south west of
Johannesburg was a brilliant concept for the people of
Soweto, the local business community and tourists,
providing a blend of roadhouse and Tshisanyama appeal,
and with a well-stocked liquor store, sporting the elegant nip
liquor cabinet.
Guests can sit and eat in their parked vehicles in the
traditional roadhouse style; or outside in the beautiful
sheltered area that is exposed to the crackling sounds of
braai meat and the accompanying aromatic flavours. The
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South African Culinary Heritage
display cabinet at the roadhouse’s liquor store showcases a
wide variety of the trendy nip, a version of the stainless steel
pocket liquor flasks. The cap serves as a tot measure. The
display cabinet graces the liquor store like an elegant piece
of artwork, and complements the butchery, braai area and
takeaways area. It is rare to find a combination of clean,
good food and impeccable hygienic conditions in the
township.
More often, such important conditions are compromised.
This is not so with the Dobsonville Roadhouse. Here, you
can, most assuredly, get tasty food in a clean environment.
Long before high mast were installed in Soweto, including
Dobsonville, the joint’s industrious owners, Justice and
Matlhodi, were already in business. In the past twenty years,
I have witnessed the place grow to become an impressive
mega food outlet which has also become a popular stable
and steady tourist hub. Besides working together as a family,
their experience is lavished with a wealth of business
experience.
Soweto Backpackers Outdoor Restaurant. Many visitors
to Soweto are often captivated by the vibe and the
friendliness that you experience in the township. Many
among these tourists first think that it is unsafe to visit
Soweto, but once they have been able to move around the
sprawling township and interact with the people, they
quickly realise that the place is full of life and positive
people. Here, the people spend a lot of time outdoors,
socialising with neighbours and friends. Visitors are
encouraged to walk in the streets, greet people and learn the
local languages.
Whether you are ready to try some street food, such as
chicken feet, cow feet, skop (cow, goat or sheep’s head),
Tshisanyama (Barbeque), some common fast food from the
local food outlets or proper restaurant food, Soweto has it
all. Many locals run outdoor restaurants, where they prepare
home cooked African stews and curries over the open fire,
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Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
on the pavement just outside their own yards, or on the
street corners. For dinner, they always have freshly home
cooked dishes, giving their visitors a taste of Sowetan and
African food. Lebo and Maria’s place is one such place in
Orlando West Soweto, which is run by enterprising
businessman Lebo and his wife, Maria.
Annual Soweto Kota Festival. Kota is to South Africans
what open sandwiches or the Smørrebrød is to the Danish
people. “The festival presents the best local Kota chefs who showcase
their Kota cooking skills,” says Sidwell Malixole Tshingilane,
the founder and organiser of the yearly festival, ahead of the
launch of the festival. He then elaborated, “This (the Kota
meal) is the popular fast food in any township. If you are hungry and
you are in Soweto or any other township, the first thing that come to
your mind is a Kota. We will be also introducing a Healthy Kota
Challenge that seeks to promote a healthy lifestyle in the food
preparations when making a Kota. We want the Kota suppliers to
reduce salt and oil in their meals. Given the basic structure of this
popular township street food – a quarter loaf (Kota) of bread hollowed
out and filled with a range of relishes and closed up again – it is easy
to see why many people liken it to another local treat, the Bunny Chow.
However, its contents are what distinguishes the Kota from its Durban
cousin, the Bunny Chow: the soft loaf is crammed with a combination
of, among other ingredients, Atchaar (pickled mango), polony, slap
chips, cheese, egg and Russian sausage.’’
Soweto has been home to many famous musicians in
various genres such as jazz, kwaito and hip hop, like the late
Mandoza, who is best known for his evergreen kwaito
music hit, Nkalakatha. I was a big fan of the late Mandoza
and got to see him perform in Moletsane at a charity event
that I had hosted. Internationally renowned songs that have
come out of Soweto include Mbube: The lion sleeps tonight, the
symbolic Sophiatown anthem, Meadowlands and veteran
musician Sipho Mabuse’s enduring classic, Jive Soweto.
Whenever Sowetans go clubbing, it is all about house music
and there are live music venues throughout Soweto.
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South African Culinary Heritage
Leriba Hotel Offal Festival. I had the privilege of being
part of the annual offal festival at the up-market Leriba Hotel
in Centurion Pretoria, where the guests were treated to a feast
of authentic offal dishes, ranging from the township
favorite ‘Skop’ to lamb offal Potjie. Same as the Kota, the
Offal Festival is celebrated annually during the winter
months across the country.
Touring Soweto is incomplete without Vilakazi Street
8115 Vilakazi Street in Orlando West, Soweto was
former SA president Nelson Mandela’s home address
before he spent 27 years on Robben Island. Vilakazi
Street has an iconic place in the history of Soweto. It is the
only street in the world where two Nobel Peace Prize
winners – Mandela and the outspoken political activist
Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu – have lived. The
street has since become the tourist hub of Johannesburg
and houses many restaurants, including the renowned
Sakhumzi Restaurant. Number 8115 Orlando West is now
called the Mandela House Museum.
“Meat” and Greet Book Talks and the Saturday and
Sunday lunches: “Get to know a little bit more about authentic
South African cuisine, local food, drinks, culture and heritage over an
African influenced buffet lunch at the Chiefs Boma Restaurant.
Eunice Rakhale-Molefe, a former restaurant owner and author, will
be sharing the stories behind the recipes (collected over a seven yearlong
research); while encouraging families to connect while breaking
bread. A signed copy of the book will be on sale.” What you have
just read was the teaser inviting both locals and tourists to
my popular Breaking the Bread Family Conversations Sessions at
different restaurants.
Culinary Storytelling at the Chiefs Boma Restaurant in
the Indaba Hotel, Fourways, Gauteng: Culinary
Storytelling with former restaurateur and author Eunice Rakhale-
Molefe. Come and experience a full African influenced buffet and
traditional Ginger Beer, while enjoying authentic storytelling sessions
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Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
in the tranquil indigenous gardens of the Chiefs Boma Restaurant.
Entertainment will be provided by a top Marimba Band. This, too,
is how local and visiting who were seeking fine dining
experiences in Gauteng would be attracted to this fine
eatery.
THE DRESS CODE
Each occasion comes with a specific or requisite dress
code. Our traditional dresses – whether this would be a
isiZulu Isidwaba, the Sesotho Thebetha or a unique Sepedi
dress – and, by design, all these apparels have a tendency
to border on the theatrical in appearance. We have seen
these national dresses evolving with time. By design, also,
the different South African traditional dresses – like those
of the Basotho, Bapedi, amaXhosa, amaZulu and
Vhavenda and Vatsonga dresses – tend to be excessively
dramatic.
The colourful and beaded dresses with layer upon layer of
colourful material are typically majestic and grand. Let me
also mention that the general perception is that African
traditional feasts are disorderly, unhygienic, lacking in
organisational skills and management. But this is not true.
I have experienced many a feast where time was of the
essence, the organisation impeccable, and where, and when
the event was thoroughly enjoyable; and, all of this while
indulging in delectable South African national dishes and
other traditional delicacies.
Beads being the main accessories. Traditional
accessories vary from country to country and include animal
skins, beads, head wraps and blankets. In Kenya, over forty
thousand years ago, beads were made from different
materials and, oftentimes, wood and different stones were
the main materials for these various decorative ornaments.
Kenya is also where people first made and wore jewelry.
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South African Culinary Heritage
The Basotho people, especially the men, wrap their
traditional blanket as an accessory. The blanket is not
only a part of the Basotho people’s everyday life, but a status
symbol as well. It is a mark of their ethnic identity and,
therefore, a token of cultural identification. In fact, for the
people of Lesotho, theirs is the only nation south of the
Sahara that illustrates the culture of an entire nation through
such an individualistic item as a tribal blanket. The visible
stripes on the blankets are known as pin-stripes. According
to historical records, these 1cm stripes originally came about
as a weaver’s fault. Instead of correcting this fault, the
manufacturer shipped them with these mistakenly woven
pin-stripes, which had then subsequently became a
traditional feature. The Basotho traditional blankets differ
from most modern blankets, in that these are almost entirely
made of wool (88% wool and 12% cotton), hence their typically
rougher and firmer texture.
These blankets are used during ceremonial occasions.
Although these blankets’ styles have been subject to outside
influences, they are still – to this day – closely linked with
the milestones of Basotho family life. Boys preparing for the
circumcision ritual don special fertility blankets which are
known as the Moholobelo. After the ceremony, the boys are
considered to have reached manhood, and they are then
expected to wear yet another kind of blanket, which is called
the Lekhokolo.
On his wedding, a man wears a blanket that is called the
Motlotlehi, and he presents his wife with a blanket that is
known as the Serope when their first child is born. Before
her wedding day, a woman spends a great deal of time trying
on and selecting blankets for her bridal attire. Women’s
blankets are quite different to men’s blankets, and theirs are
designed to be pinned over their bosoms, whereas the men
pin the blankets over their right shoulder.
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Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
Tuku – The Head Wrap. Tying a piece of cloth around
the head is not specific to any one cultural group. Women
have worn and continue to wear some type of fabric head
covering in many societies. What does appear to be
culturally specific, however, is the way the fabric is worn. In
other words, the style in which the fabric is worn is the
ultimate cultural differentiator. True to African fashion –
once in a while or more often, depending on her mood or
the occasion – a fashion conscious woman’s outfit is always
complemented with traditional headgear. These mostly
cloth head wraps are a most common feature for many
African outfits. It is called different things in different
countries. The most popular name for this headdress
among the south Sotho speakers is Tuku. In Zimbabwe, it
is called Dhuku. The Nigerians call is the Gele (Pronounced
gaye-ay). In Malawi and Ghana it is called the Duku. In
Namibia it is called the Doek and in South Africa it is called
the Tuku (South Sotho) or Doek (Afrikaans), both meaning
a headdress that is made up of cloth. It represents far more
than a piece of fabric that is wound around the head. The
form of styling always leaves a woman’s forehead and neck
exposed; and, by leaving her face open, the head wrap
visually enhances the woman’s facial features.
TABLE TALKER
Authentic cuisine is a culinary creation which is not
necessarily written or rather jotted down in manuscripts. It
is a product of the collective genius which may have been
invented by one or more, if not all; and which is not easily
expressed in quantities of ingredients, fractions of time or
the quick or slow action of hot or cold water; and it is thus
characteristically handed down, from generation to
generation.
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Two
The Authentic Menu
“The dinner was as thoughtfully organised as, at one time,
to reflect tradition, culture and good taste, and to exude
warmth from both the host and hostess, which was precious
and, therefore, not to be taken for granted. The food was
superb, the conversation stimulating. Certainly, the evening
was an occasion long to remember for which we wish to
thank you anew.” – Hk Yang Ambassador China
A
FRICAN CUISINE DEFINITION
African cuisine is defined by its:
1.Typical African habit of communal eating and
accompanying ritual of washing of hands;
2.The regionally-based diets, tastes and (Southern,
Western, Northern and Eastern) African recipes;
3.Typical indigenous open flame cooking style and food
preservation methods, including various ways of drying
foods;
4.And a solid traditionally influenced food culture featuring
indigenous ingredients.
As the pace of living changes, so does the eating habits
change, usually occurring out of necessity. And,
depending on the family situation, breakfast may be taken
to work for tea break with fatcakes, the imiqamelo (flat
pillow shaped fatcakes) or street corner scones. Your
typical outlets might be from a Tshisanyama on the local
street corner, a family house that has been converted into
a restaurant, or from the food vendors at the bus
terminus, the local taxi rank or at the traffic lights.
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Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
THE KASI (TOWNSHIP) KITCHEN
The kitchen is the heart of any home or food
establishment. Therefore, the Kasi Kitchen, like any other
kitchen reflects our inner self. Before we go any further,
the word “Kasi” means a predominantly black residential
area, or township. As we cook and exchange recipes, we
get to know more about one another’s backgrounds, skills,
passions and interests. As we do so, we also break bread.
Throughout history, food has always been a commodity
that brings people together, transcending all imaginable
and unimaginable barriers; be it cultural or educational. It
is for this reason that the traditional township kitchens –
by way of stokvels, lifestyle, fellowships and neighborhood
street committee groups – will always have a strong
tendency of impact on each and one another’s lives.
The essentials of a township or Kasi kitchen are similar to
those found in any other kitchen, in any part of the world,
except for a few utensils, including the Potjie, enamel dish,
calabash, Lesokwana (wooden spoon), the clay pot,
aluminum pots, lefetlho (whisk).
Potjie, the three-legged round-bellied cast iron pots which
are good for outdoor open fire cooking or the modern
version with a flat surface type for indoor stove top
cooking. The township kitchen is typically graced by a full
display of big pots in different sizes and shapes. The bigger
the pot, the more popular you are in the neighborhood, to
lend these for catering purposes, or hire them out for some
much needed income. The pots come in different sizes,
from the smallest one to the extra-large ones. These can
range from a pot that can cook a sheep to feed fifty people,
to a pot that can cook beef to feed five hundred people.
The smaller pots are used as serving pots on the table for
mogodu, tripe which is our “national dish” in the
townships; and for signature dishes like Lamb Shank and
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South African Culinary Heritage
Oxtail. These cast iron pots are a heritage that has been
passed down the generations in our families. These types
of durable pots also service the local communities for the
elaborate food preparations that can easily cater for huge
feasts and festivities.
Another iconic Kasi cooking utensils is the enamel dish,
and these also come in different sizes. As with the cast iron
pots, the bigger is always the better, making one a
resourceful neighbor for those huge traditional functions,
like weddings, funerals, rituals or clan feasts. Or, at one
time or the other, it could be for any excuse to have a feast,
for that matter! These dishes and Potjies or cast iron pots
are usually kept in the family as part of the estate and
handed down the generations, often according to the
parents’ wishes.
The Calabash or Long Melon is named after a vine that is
commonly grown for its harvested young fruits. When it is
mature, it is dried and used as a drinking utensil or pipe.
The clay pot – Commonly, every home has one hidden
in the cupboards for display on those special occasions. It
serves as a storage jar as well as for serving umqombothi –
the traditional sorghum beer.
Lesokwana – the solid wooden spoon and Lefehlo or
Lefehlo – Setswana and Sesotho, respectively, for a
handmade wire whisk – are “must-haves” in the kitchen to
save one from heavy stirring and the misery of lumps when
you could be cooking pap or preparing any particular
dough like foodstuff.
Although aluminum pots are a much loved traditional
utensil in the kitchen, it must be noted that these must be
used with great caution, as research has shown that this
metal is harmful, particularly when used in the cooking
process. For health reasons, this equipment is fading off
from our kitchens and rightfully so.
47
AFRICAN DELICACIES’
Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
Some of the traditional appetisers found on the South
African menu may be served as starters. These include:
Mogodu or livestock’s tripe;
Kapenta (Anchovies);
Ditsie (Brown Locusts);
The Stinkbug;
Ditloo (Jugo Beans);
Roasted Pumpkin Pips;
Maotwana or chicken, sheep, pig, goat or cow’s feet, also
colloquially known as trotters;
Skop or sheep, pig, goat or cow’s head;
Biltong, sehwapa or Umqweyiba, which is salty, spicy dried
meat, and;
The tasty nutritious Masonja or Mopani Worms, which are
common in Limpopo.
Interestingly, Mopani Worms – Masonja in Venda – is a
delicacy we share with our neighbours in Zimbabwe, where
these are known as Madora or Amacimbi, whereas in
Botswana, the Masonja are called Phane. These are collected
from the Mopani trees and cured in the same way as drying
and salting meat, resulting in cured meat known in South
Africa as biltong. The masonja make good long distance travel
snacks.
PREPARING THE KASI DELICACIES
The Masonja or Mopani Worms, constitute an
indigenous protein for most of the indigenous Southern
African people.
To prepare, soak 500g of Masonja for an
hour, to soften. Marinade and fry an onion
in butter and olive oil. Add the softened
Masonja and one chopped tomato.
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South African Culinary Heritage
Simmer for a few minutes and serve with
beetroot and chilli chutney.
Ditloo (Setswana for Jugo Beans), which
are boiled, seasoned and eaten as peanuts.
Sebera or Mealie Snack is a Basotho
traditional snack. In a cast iron pot, boil
1litre of water. Add 400g of dried kernels
and simmer until soft. Drain the water and
roast the cooked mealie. Correct the
seasoning with salt. Best eaten as peanuts.
Sehwapa – Biltong: Generally known as Sehwapa,
Umqweyiba or Biltong in South Africa, is also popular
amongst the Shona’s in Zimbabwe, among whom it is
known as Chumukuyu.
To make your own Biltong, you roast
coriander seeds in a dry frying pan to bring
out the flavours. Then you crush these
lightly and mix with salt and black pepper.
You then sprinkle these spices on the cut
meat (which could be in strips of 2cm x 3cm)
and then refrigerate for 24 hours for even
flavouring. Finally, you hang up the meat
to dry in an airy space for five days.
Brown Locusts: These are known in Setswana or Sesotho
as Ditsie and as Ditjie in Sepedi. Locusts are an indigenous
protein rich delicacy served as a relish with porridges. As a
relish, the insects must be fresh and whole.
To prepare, melt 20ml butter in a frying
pan. Add 2 cups of insects’ salt and pepper.
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Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
Fry for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.
Add a pre-prepared mixture of tomato and
onion and simmer.
The Stinkbug is another indigenous edible insect. It is an
indigenous Venda delicacy that is harvested in winter.
Besides being a raw snack, this delicacy – when refined –
adds flavour to stews.
Kapenta (Anchovies): The Petite Tiny Little
Fish. To prepare, clean two cups of
Kapenta with hot water and fry with olive
oil and butter for 10 minutes, until these
become brown. Add tomato and onion
gravy and serve with dumplings and
traditional sambals.
Roasted Pumpkin Pips: These are a popular
flavour packed snacks and are easy to
prepare. When preparing the roasted
pumpkin pips, wash the pips to remove the
wax coating and pat dry with a clean cloth.
Heat a dry frying pan, add the pips and
salt. Cook over high heat for five minutes,
until the pips start to crackle and become
aromatic. Serve as a snack, or to sprinkle
over salads.
We Have a Table...
Because of its unique setting – being located in the Design
Quarters next to Monte Casino Entertainment Complex in
Fourways – the restaurant was mostly frequented by foreign
guests. It is important to discuss the food in depth with your
guests, particularly those with a foreign palate. On this
occasion, the guests, a couple from East Asia, were tourists.
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South African Culinary Heritage
Confidently, they ordered a three course meal, complete
with appetisers of chicken livers and Maotwana, South Sotho
for chicken feet. As we try to explain what Maotwana is, the
wife insists on Maotwana, her eyes all the while hooked onto
the adjacent table. A while later, the bell rings from
downstairs to indicate that the order is almost done.
“Almost done!” as my granddaughter Aminah, always says,
whenever she is trying to get out of the mischief of
unfinished tasks. With precision, we started with the
“prepping”; setting the requisite cutlery, followed by the
washing of hands, tying of protective smocks around the
neck and bringing the sauces to the dinner table. With great
pomp and ceremony, the chef brought the food, holding the
hot Maotwana Potjie with great care.
“Enjoy your meal,” he says, as he puts the lid aside.
Horrified at the sight of the chicken feet, Maotwana, the
wife almost falls off her chair. Thinking that she might have
burnt herself, I quickly come to the table, preparing to put
my nursing skills on full display.
“Quickly; take away the pot,” the husband had motioned.
As it had turned out, the guest did not have a clue about the
meal she had ordered. I discovered, later, that it was the
Maotwana Potjie Pot that had captured her attention.
“My goodness; it is not like we fed her a snake,” I had
thought to myself, as I recalled the drama. From then on,
we had a fresh demonstration platter of our exotic dishes,
including shell fish, which we always kept garnished in the
refrigerator.
Maotwana – as with most of our traditional foods, and
besides being popular – are high in nutritional value.
Colloquially referred to as “runaways” or trotters, these may
be grilled and eaten as a snack at the local Tshisanyama eatery,
or stewed in a curried sauce as a starter in a formal sit down
dining eatery.
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Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
When preparing Maotwana you clean,
trim and cut off the nails, and boil until
soft. You then add sliced onion, chicken
spice, turmeric and thyme. Afterwards,
you serve this in a potjie pot, with pap and
Morogo.
The local butchers now supply trotters and skop (sheep, cow
or goat’s head) cleaned, saving time and labour for those
who may wish to prepare this popular lunchtime meal or
snack. The skop is a delicacy we share with many countries
around the world, including Morocco and Iceland. In
Iceland, the dish became popular when the people could
not afford to waste any part of the animal.
When preparing Manqena, IsiZulu for
sheep, pig or cow’s trotters, soak 1cup of
butterbeans overnight. Cook the beans
slowly, with 4 trotters, for 5 hours, until
these become soft. During the last hour,
add 1 sliced onion, 2 sliced carrots and
season with curry, turmeric, black pepper,
salt and nutmeg. Add coriander, bay leaves
and cook until the meat peels off from the
bones. Remove the bones and allow to cool.
Slice and serve on a bed of sliced tomatoes,
onion and avocado. This is even better
prepared a day or two ahead. It may also
be served with tomato and onion gravy
and Pap.
When preparing Skop, cook the livestock’s
head in boiling salt water for 2 to 3 hours,
until this becomes soft. Remove from the
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South African Culinary Heritage
boiling water and leave the Skop to cool
down. Rub the head with mixed herbs and
Tshisanyama Spice. Rub extra spices in the
mouth and all other openings in the head.
Smear the head with a mix of tomato
sauce, Worcester sauce and Tshisanyama
spice. Place in the oven on a greased
baking tray at a high temperature (or in a
greased and lidded cast iron pot on a very
hot fire) and bake until this becomes shiny
and brown on the outside. Serve with Pap,
garnished with fresh sprigs of Rosemary
and Rose Tomatoes.
STREET FOODS
Kota, like most street and takeaway foods, falls under the
“rich and fattening” category. This is also one of the most
popular middle-of-the-road, everyday township street foods
or takeaway meals. Every household has what I call a
“Family Chef”.
On days that such as when the theoretical chef is off, you
must have something up your sleeve, and that is when the
Kota comes in handy, when one engages in the process of
creating a menu without the hassle of cooking. The Kota is
a meal that was originally intended for schoolchildren, back
then, when lunch boxes were foreign. So, what are the
distinguishing aspects of your typical Kota meal? A Kota, a
colloquial play on the English word, “Quarter”, is basically
a loaf of bread that has been cut into four parts, and hence
the slang name rhyming with “Quarter”.
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Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
On one of three Quarters, a hole is made for
the filling by scooping out the inner part of
the bread, stuffing or filling this with
Atchaar (pickled mango pieces) and liver
spread and replacing the scooped bread
back as a lid. This is the original version of
the legendary Kota meal.
As this popular township staple evolved, fried chips were
added; and the previously standard liver spread (which was
previously known as “White Liver”) was replaced with
polony. And, now, the new Kota meal has now been
positioned such that it is priced and graded according to the
different types of fillings in a Kota meal. As with the diehard
Mogodu patrons, gourmet Kota patrons do not mind
travelling long distances for their favourite Kota meal, which
would always be prepared to their taste, flavour and
perfection; and which remains an unsurpassed, yet
affordable township favourite.
Street Corner Scones: These are what many people in the
townships choose to call their breakfast on the run. One
day, my friend, Lindy, had tea time hunger pangs at work.
Ever so helpful, a dear friend and colleague, Portia, offered
Lindy these rather odd looking round, brownish cookies in
transparent plastic bags. These are always packed in 5’s!
“What are those and where do they come from?” asked
Lindy, suspiciously. “From Soweto; at the intersection
robots (traffic lights)”, Portia had replied. From then on, the
girls enjoyed the scones with their morning tea, and this
became their daily ritual. This is a similar, regular event for
many daily commuters throughout South Africa, who must
leave their homes in the wee hours of the morning to get to
work on time.
Furthermore, with flexible hours and more families working
from home, breakfast may be a bowl of soft porridge with
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South African Culinary Heritage
milk or the ever popular two slices of bread with peanut
butter and jam. Yet another traditional breakfast of old
consists of fermented grain, known in Sesotho as Motoho wa
Mabele, soft porridge, which is also known in Setswana as
Ting (fermented maize meal porridge).
This is essentially malt flavoured grain mixed with sorghum.
But the Ghanaian people prefer the type made from
fermented maize, which they call Kenkey. The same version,
although being soft porridge from white maize, is a
favourite of the Basotho and Batswana, which they call
Mageu.
Magwinya – Fatcakes: When preparing
Magwinya, sift together in a bowl, 500ml of
cake flour, 15ml of baking powder, and 1
teaspoon of seeds and add a pinch of salt.
Mix together 200ml milk and 1 egg, and
mix these to make a well in the center until
it is smooth dough. Break off the dough into
small pieces and deep fry in hot oil, until
the buns are golden brown. Serve with
Atchaar and Snoek Fish Sauce.
Snoek Fish Sauce: Soak snoek fish in water
overnight. Allow this to dry a little bit and
flake into fine shaves. Add finely chopped
peaches and mix with tomato and onion
gravy.
Mageu: To prepare Mageu, make a paste of
1 cup of smooth maize meal with cold
water. Add the paste to boiling water,
stirring until it thickens. Simmer for 20
minutes and leave to cool.
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Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
Add 4 tablespoons of flour and sugar, to
taste. Leave for a day or two, until this
becomes sour. Serve cold.
Sorghum and Beans: To make Sorghum
and Beans, take 250g of sugar beans, 200g
of maize and 200g of sorghum, and add all
of these to a 500ml pot of boiling water.
Simmer until soft and well-cooked, stirring
intermittently. Season and serve hot.
Traditional Scones: To round off the ways
of making the fabled Street Foods before
these hit the street corners, taxi ranks and
bus terminuses, here is how you can make
Traditional Scones: Mix 450g of self-rising
flour, 50g of Castor Sugar and 2 teaspoons
of Baking Powder. Cut in 100g of butter
and work this with your hands, until the
mixture is well-combined and resembling a
fine breadcrumb texture. Add in 100g of
Raisins, Sultanas, Cherries, and
Cranberries; and gradually add 200ml of
milk. Work this in until it is well-combined
and forms a soft dough. Press out on a
floured surface, and be careful not to work
or knead the dough too much, as it will not
rise. Cut with a scone-cutter and lace on a
floured baking tray, ensuring that the
cutlets are not too close together. Using a
pastry brush, brush the tops with milk or a
beaten egg.
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South African Culinary Heritage
In a preheated oven bake for 20 minutes,
until these are golden brown. Place on a
cooling rack.
You will notice that the method of mixing traditional
scones is different from the usual jam and butter scones,
giving these a pliable, easy-to-mold consistency. For the
added crunchiness, the last quarter portion of the sugar is
added at the end of the mixing process, just before cutting.
LUNCH
For most South Africans, the main meal is dinner, as
opposed to other nations like our fellow Africans in
neighbouring Botswana, where lunch is a substantial meal
and dinner is a slice of bread and a cup of tea. Lunch may
be dinner leftovers, Kota or Magwinya.
A staple South African diet consists of Pap or Samp and
beans, served with a variety of Offal (livestock innards),
Morogo (the staple veggie) with ground nuts or cabbage. The
cabbage can be jazzed up a bit to create delicious relishes,
stews or curries, which might not necessarily include meat.
The combination of Pap and Morogo is more like your
Kenyan “Push the Week” meal of Ugali and Sukuma wiki,
when the budget gets tighter.
For the affluent types, meat or fish is part of the staple diet.
Soups are for winter, either as a starter or as a stand-alone
meal. Our meals are generally washed down with tea, instead
of coffee. More about tea in the next chapter.
STARTERS
Starters are a sneak preview of the direction of the main
dish, therefore, this part of the meal must feature indigenous
and traditional elements, while accommodating unfamiliar
palates. As the main ingredient of South African cuisine is
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mostly meat, these would most likely consist mainly of offal,
like liver, livestock’s tongue, or kidneys.
Avocado and Smoked Snoek Salad: Cut half
an Avocado. Mix 50g of smoked snoek
(flaked), 10gr cashew nuts, 10g of chopped
onions, and 10g of grated apple, 20g of
mayonnaise and 10ml of cream. Season
with salt and pepper. Serve in Coupe
Denmark with a fork and a dessert spoon.
Banana and Bean Salad: Mix pre-cooked
butter beans with tomato sauce and
mayonnaise. Add black pepper, chicken
spice and Paprika. Sprinkle the banana
with lemon juice and stir into the mixture.
Serve with chicken livers or giblets and a
slice of dumpling.
Soweto Beetroot Salad: For this you will
need 100g of Baby Beetroot, which should
be cooked, peeled, and then diced, nicely.
Season and roast the beetroot in a hot oven.
Afterwards, allow this to cool. Strip a
bunch of Morogo or Spinach, from the
stems, then par-boil and season the stems
with salt. Toss the beetroot and Morogo into
the citrus, honey and mustard dressing.
Lay the Morogo around the edge of the
plate, with Phutu (coarse maize porridge or
Pap) in the middle. Garnish with half an
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orange – which has been cut into segments
– at the top of Phutu Pap.
Imphwa – Baby Brinjal Ingredients: 3
tomatoes and 3 onions. The tomatoes and
onions should be chopped, boiled and
simmered for 10 minutes. Garnish: Season
with salt and pepper; 3ml of chilli powder,
3ml of Turmeric and 3 cups of chopped
Brinjal.
Citrus, Honey and Mustard Dressing.
What we will need: 50ml of olive oil, 10ml of
honey, 1 teaspoon of English Mustard, 60ml
of orange juice, 30ml of lemon juice 30ml of
mayonnaise. Mix all parts, season with
choice spices, and serve.
Delele – Okra Ingredients: 3 cups of Okra,
which should be sliced and added to boiled
water, then should be mixed together with
5ml of bicarbonate of soda (dissolved). Add
3 chopped tomatoes and season with salt
and pepper, then boil and simmer for 15
minutes.
Chakalaka: Heat and fry 1 grated onion, 1
grated Green Pepper, 1 crushed Garlic, and
30g of crushed Ginger. Add 10g of Turmeric,
salt and white pepper. Add 3 medium-sized
grated carrots and 1 medium-sized
cauliflower; all of which should be divided
into florets. Cook for 15 minutes.
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Allow to cool. Add a tin of baked beans and
1 tablespoon of homemade peri-peri. The
salad can be prepared the day before.
Serves 46 people.
Peri-Peri Chicken Livers: Ingredients 500g
of Chicken livers, 125ml of tomato and onion
gravy (pre-prepared), and 10ml of red wine,
1 tablespoon of Paprika. Method: Fry 500g
of chicken livers in oil, until these turn
brown. Add 1 teaspoon of Paprika, 10ml of
Red Wine, Add a half measure of a chef’s
spoon tomato and onion gravy and half a
teaspoon of Peri-Peri Sauce. Allow to
simmer. Serve in a half a portion of Phyllo
Basket with beetroot and Morogo salad.
To make a Phyllo Basket, brush 3 sheets of
Phyllo (measuring 10cm by 10cm) with
melted butter. Place the Phyllo sheets on
top of each other. Place the Phyllo pastry in
a muffin tin, to form. Bake in moderate
oven at 160 Celsius to 180 Celsius, until this
turns golden brown, with a firm base. Be
vigilant as this can burn in minutes. Premake
for prep in advance.
Curried Chicken Salad : Create a mix of 2
tablespoons seasonings in a large bowl. Add
2 cups of cooked chicken, 1 cubed ripe
mango (peeled and diced), half a cup of
diced celery, a quarter cup of diced spring
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onions, and 1 tablespoon of chopped
coriander. Toss the mix to coat, and add
cashews.
Maize and Bean Soup: This is a hearty
Xhosa soup. Soak 500g of sugar beans
overnight. Boil the soaked beans in 500ml
of stock for two hours, until tender. Add
frozen, 250g. In a sauce pan, fry 1 of
chopped onion and 2 diced potatoes in 20ml
of oil. Add 125ml Maizena, salt and white
pepper. Add this to the maize and beans
and simmer, until this is well-cooked.
Correct the seasoning; then serve with
dumplings.
Butternut Soup: Fry 100g of chopped onion
in 50ml of oil, until clear. Add 10g of curry
powder and cook out. Add 1kg of Butternut
(peeled and diced). Add 250ml of chicken
soup. Boil until soft, round off with correct
seasoning and blend (ensuring that there
are no lumps). Sprinkle with black pepper
and serve with dumpling.
Portuguese Soup – Caldo Verde: Peel and
dice 300g of Portuguese sausage. Scrub 6
potatoes and cut these into 1cm cubes. Heat
the oil and fry 1 diced onion over a gentle
heat, until this becomes soft. Add 2 chopped
Garlic cloves and sausage pieces and fry for
a further 4 minutes.
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Now, add the potatoes and cook for 1
minute more, before adding 2 liters of
water. Increase the heat to bring the
mixture to a boil, then reduce to a simmer
and cook for 10 minutes (uncovered).
Thoroughly wash 500g of Kale or Cabbage,
to remove any traces of grit, then trim off
the tough stems and shred the leaves as
finely as possible. Add the greens to the
soup; bring back to a boil, then reduce to a
simmer and cook for 10 minutes more. Ladle
into warmed soup bowls and serve with
dumpling.
Haloumi Cheese with spicy caramelized
sweet potato and Peppadew dressing: Melt
butter and fry sweet potato (peeled and
sliced). Add 50g of Brown Sugar, and
caramelise. Add chopped sweet Peppadew
to standard salad dressing.
Assembling the salad: Grill 100g of Haloumi
Cheese (sliced, coated with spiced bread
crumbs or flour). In the center of the plate,
place sweet potatoes, and arrange the
Haloumi cheese, around the plate. Drizzle
with Peppadew dressing.
Snails: In a pan, fry 6 Snails in butter. Add
previously-prepared tomato and onion
gravy. Serve with dumpling.
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Creamy Garlic Sauce: Fry a half chopped
onion and 30g Garlic in 50g of Butter. Add
10g of chopped Parsley, 50ml of cream,
100ml of white sauce, and simmer. Ensure
the correct consistency, and season with
salt and pepper.
White Sauce. Cook the following, for 20
minutes, in 500ml chicken stock: 1 onion
(sliced); 1 carrot (sliced); Bay leaf; 1 Sprig of
parsley; 6 Peppercorns. Melt 100g of butter
and add 100g of flour. Cook for a few
minutes. Add the stock, simmer for several
minutes, and then season with salt.
Mussels Seshebo (Relish): Bring 100ml of
previously prepared tomato and onion
gravy to the boil. Add 6 Mussels and
simmer for 5 minutes. Ensure correct
seasoning and serve with dumpling in a
soup plate.
At our restaurants, we served traditional Portuguese and
Mozambican seafood cuisine with a continental touch.
Because of this, making chilli became one of my specialties.
The recipe below has never failed me and is one of my
signature sauces.
Peri-Peri Sauce: Mix Red, Yellow and
Green chilli Peppers (750g each). These
should be finely chopped. Add 1 clove of
Garlic powder, 2 tablespoons of Paprika,
and 1 tablespoon of coarse salt. Cut 2 lemons
in half and remove the pits.
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Add 1 cup of water and boil for 30 minutes.
Remove the lemons and squeeze 50ml of
lemon juice from each of the two lemons.
Add Wine Vinegar, Olive Oil and
Worcester Sauce. Mash the mixture into a
smooth paste and allow this to cool and
store in a cool place.
Ox or Lamb Liver. Mix the following dry
ingredients: 2 teaspoons of plain flour; 10ml
of barbecue spice; And half a teaspoon of
Sage. Toss 6 slices of Ox or Lamb Liver in
the flour mix. Heat 25g of butter in a frying
pan. Add 2 medium-sized onions and fry
until golden. Add the liver and fry for 10 to
15 minutes. Serve with Morogo Salad and
Pap tartlets.
MAIN COURSE
Our national dish – especially among most of the
indigenous Africans in the country – is Mogodu, tripe, which
is also a favourite of the Italians, while South Africa’s other
signature dishes include Lamb Shank and Oxtail; and these
are usually served with great pomp and pageantry.
We start off with the prepping
First to be positioned in their appropriate places on the table
are the serving spoons, steak knives, side plates, finger
bowls and the various condiments. Next is the washing of
hands, tying of protective smocks and, finally, the
introduction of the three traditional sauces – Beetroot
sauce, Atchaar, Tomato and Onion Gravy – to the table, as
well.
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All year round, there is hardly a weekend which would have
passed without a family feast, and this could either be the
celebration of the birth of a child, a graduation party, a
christening ceremony, the homecoming of local youths
from a traditional grooming school, known in Sesotho as
Lebollo; or lobola, a traditional engagement, involving the
payment of dowry.
Such events are oftentimes a legitimate excuse for the
celebrants to slaughter a cow, sheep, goat or chicken; and
for both the hosts and guests to be resplendent in elegant
traditional dresses and for all to unanimously punctuate the
occasion with impromptu, albeit exuberant song and dance.
South Africans, nearly the same as many other nations
around the world, celebrate Christmas splendidly, and
mostly with the preparation and serving of free-range
chicken, Umleqwa, as they call it in isiXhosa; with the
alternative being Cornish Hen. Conversely, for the
Portuguese, this year-end coincides with the pigslaughtering
season.
In South Africa, the free-range chicken, Umleqwa, graces
many South African family tables during the Christmas
period. The bird is laid out more for your intimate
Christmas meals. But, for more elaborate occasions, a sheep
is slaughtered.
Mogodu complements the meat range, and is served with
dumpling, Samp, conventional pap, or Ting, the fermented
maize meal porridge which is mostly popular among the
Batswana or Setswana-speaking people. These are often
completed with salads, especially when the event is marked
with a Spit Braai (Grill or Barbeque).
Ostrich Kebabs: Thread 500g of cubed
ostrich fillet. Add 2 chopped onions and 3
chopped Green Peppers, on skewers.
Season with salt and pepper.
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Grill the kebabs over medium heat for
about 10 minutes. Mix the pepper sauce
with cranberry sauce and serve over
kebabs. Serve with Phutu (coarse Pap) and
cabbage.
Sheep Mogodu Tripe Potjie. For this
“People’s favourite”, always make
provision for seconds and follow-up visits
to the serving table. Method: Clean 1kg of
sheep tripe, Cook for 3 hours, until soft.
Add 1 chopped onion, 4 potatoes cut in a
quarter measure of brown onion paste and
1 tablespoon of Worcester sauce. Correct
the seasoning.
For prepping, follow the method as with the Lamb Shank
and Oxtail recipes. Offer the guests lemon water for the
washing of hands, and a cloth to wipe off their hands. Serve
in a small Potjie, with pap or Samp, Morogo and sambals
of traditional sauces of beetroot and Atchaar. Or you could
indulge and create a feast of a Traditional Platter consisting
of Maotwana (chicken trotters), Mogodu and Chicken
Livers, ideally recommended for communal eating.
Umleqwa – Traditional Chicken: Clean
pieces of humanely slaughtered chicken(s)
by washing these thoroughly in cold water.
Place the pieces of chicken in a large pot.
Add 2 finely chopped onions, 4 cloves of
garlic (peeled and crushed), 4 potatoes
(peeled and diced) to the chicken.
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Pour 2 litres of chicken stock, and sprinkle
salt and pepper to taste. Cook for one and
a half hours, over low heat, until meat is
tender and the liquid has reduced. Serve
with dumpling.
Sticky Chicken Wings BBQ Sauce: Mix 2
tablespoons of olive oil, 2 tablespoons of
sauce, 2 tablespoons of honey or light brown
sugar, 1tablespoon of balsamic vinegar, 1
tablespoon of lemon juice, 1 teaspoon
paprika, half a teaspoon of dried coriander,
half a teaspoon of ground cinnamon, 2
cloves of garlic (minced), a generous pinch
of coarse salt and a large helping of freshly
ground black pepper.
Pan-Fried Chicken Breasts: Fry 100g of
chicken strips of chicken fillet in butter, add
half a portion of chopped onion. Both the
chicken and the onion should be fried until
soft. Add 50g of mushrooms. Season with
salt and black pepper. Add 1 tablespoon of
old brown sherry and 125 ml of fresh cream.
Serve with dumpling, Morogo and
pumpkin.
Chicken Stew: Dry 10 pieces of chicken legs
and thighs with paper towels and place on
a tray. Season with salt and pepper. In a
large frying pan, heat 2 tablespoons of oil
together with 2 tablespoons of butter over
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medium heat. Brown the chicken pieces on
both sides and set aside in a mixing bowl.
In the same pan, sauté 40 whole cloves of
garlic and 1 chopped onion until the garlic
and onions are browned. Transfer the
chicken (with all of its juices), the Garlic
and onions onto a 5 litre pot. Add 1
tablespoon of thyme leaves, 2 cups dry red
wine, and cook over medium heat for 2
hours. Add a packet of brown onion; or
make your own paste as per the recipe on
the next page.
Chicken Wings with Whipped Feta Sauce:
Baste 10 chicken wings with BBQ sauce,
cover the meat with cling film and leave to
stand in the fridge (overnight is ideal).
Remove the chicken wings from the fridge
and bring to room temperature, about 20
minutes before cooking. Cook on the braai,
or roast in the oven for 20 minutes or until
cooked through, sticky and golden. Baste
with any extra BBQ sauce each time you
turn the chicken wings.
Serve immediately with the whipped feta
on the side. These should ideally be served
with homemade bread.
Whipped Feta Sauce: Combine 100g of feta
cheese, 100g of smooth cottage cheese or
thick natural yoghurt, zest of 1 lemon juice,
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2 tablespoons of olive oil or milk, to loosen,
1 tablespoon of freshly chopped basil and
mint. Add freshly ground black pepper to
taste. Pour all these ingredients into a food
processor and grind into a fine, tasty
fusion. Check for seasoning and set aside in
a serving bowl with a drizzle of olive oil
and a twist of black pepper to garnish.
Tshotlo or Pounded red meat: Cook Brisket
for about 2 hours in onion, until soft. Season
with salt and meat spice. Remove the bones
and pound the meat. Add half a cup of
Brown Onion Sauce. Serve with Ting, the
Batswana people’s favourite fermented
maize meal porridge or Pap.
Brown Onion Sauce: Heat oil and fry meat
bones in a pan until brown and remove.
Heat oil with 4 tablespoons of butter on
low heat. To this, add 1 chopped onion and
combine, until transparent. Add a cup of
sliced cabbage and fry until brown. Dust
the meat bones with flour and fry in the
onion mixture. Season with salt and
pepper. Add 1 cup of water, stirring
continuously, until a paste is formed.
Simmer for 10 minutes and remove from
stove to cool. Sift the mixture and use as
necessary.
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Pilau: This is a popular Kenyan dish; very
much like Breyani among South Africans
of Indian descent, and this is served mostly
at large gatherings. To prepare Pilau, fry
and brown Cubed Beef using curry
powder, turmeric, chilli, garlic and
Dhania. Add 250ml of beef stock and cook
until the meat is tender. Add peas, carrots
and rice and cook for 15 minutes.
Goat Meat Stew: Season 1kg of goat meat
with 1 finely chopped onion, 15g of crushed
ginger and salt. Add 250ml of water and
cook the meat gently for 30 minutes,
stirring occasionally. Add 2ml Paprika, 2
chopped tomatoes, 1 Brinjal (peeled and
chopped), 125ml of pre-cooked butter beans.
Cook for a further 30 minutes, adding
water, until the meat falls off the bones.
Serve with dumpling or Fufu.
Impala or Venison Ragout: Debone 1 leg of
Impala, weighing 750g – 1kg, and cut the
meat into sizeable cubes. Combine the
cubed Impala meat with 2 chopped onions,
2 ripe tomatoes (grated), half a cup oil and
1 cup of beef stock. Allow the meat to
simmer for 1 hour, until this becomes soft.
Remove the meat from the stock and place
it in another saucepan. Keep the stock,
with which to make soup. Season the meat
and add 250g of mushrooms, 50ml red wine
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and 1 litre of cream. Cook slowly, until
creamy and thickened. Spoon the meal into
a serving dish and garnish with chopped
parsley and beetroot sauce. Serve with
cabbage and dumpling.
Mutton Potjie: Heat 2 tablespoons of oil,
20g butter, 1 chopped onion and 50g of
chopped Garlic. Fry until this turns golden
brown. Add 500g mutton neck and fry for
5 minutes. Add 1 tablespoon of mixed herbs.
Season with coarse salt, meat spice and
paprika. Add 1 medium chopped onion
and 1 medium chopped green pepper. Fry
for approximately 5 minutes, until these
become soft. Add 2 chopped carrots, 2 large
peeled potato cubes and 50ml of red wine.
To this, add 1 cup of water and cook for 10
minutes. Add 2 thickly-sliced baby
marrows and simmer for 5 minutes. Serve
with dumpling.
Lamb Shank – Lengwele la Nku in Sesotho,
is one other South African signature dish.
This is a particularly succulent dish, and is
derived from the lower section of a sheep,
which is extremely tough and full of
connective tissue. This cut of meat contains
a high amount of collagen, which is
released during long cooking, at low heat.
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Preparation :Heat a large cooking pot over
a high heat. Season the 4 lamb shanks and
fry in 2 tablespoons of oil, until the meat is
evenly-browned, all over. Remove from the
pan and set aside. Add 1 onion (roughly
chopped), 1 carrot, (roughly chopped), 1
stick of celery (roughly chopped). Then add
1 twig of Rosemary and 2 Garlic cloves
(crushed) to the pan and caramelize to a
golden brown colour. Reintroduce the 4
Lamb shanks back into the pan and add
250ml of red wine, 750ml of lamb stock and
bring the meal to a boil. Skim any
impurities that may rise to the surface and
reduce the heat. Simmer for 2 hours, until
the meat easily peels off the bones. Allow
this to cool in the liquid before removing
the meat and serving. For a suitable prep,
offer the guests lemon water for the
washing of hands and a cloth each, to wipe
off the diners’ hands. Serve in a small
Potjie, with dumpling, Morogo and
sambals of traditional sauces of beetroot
and Atchaar.
Meat Balls: Mix together, in a bowl, 500g of
lean beef mince, 2 cups of breadcrumbs, 2
eggs, a handful of freshly-chopped Parsley,
a pinch of coarse salt and black pepper.
Form meat balls of about 5cm in diameter.
Brown the meatballs in a hot pan, with a
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little oil; just enough to color the meatballs
into a satisfactory brown colour, and place
in an oven dish. Heat the oven, then soften
half a cup of finely-chopped onions in a pan
– with butter – over a medium heat. Add
half a cup of beef stock, 3 tablespoons of
butter and half a cup of finely-chopped
apricots, and mix well. Pour the sauce over
the meatballs and bake in the oven for 25
minutes.
Oxtail, Mohatla wa kgomo in Sesotho, is yet another
signature in Mzansi, as South Africa is known, colloquially,
among the country’s indigenous African citizens. Even
though oxtails are not from the inside of a livestock beast,
are categorised under offal, and – as such – the name is the
culinary description for the tail of cattle.
In the olden days, oxtail did come from steers, but today it
is simply derived from the tails of beef cattle of both
genders. This is the bony, gelatin-rich meat, which is usually
slow cooked. The consumption of oxtail as offal dates back
to the times when no part of an animal went to waste.
At the time, each part of an animal was utilised, and –
oftentimes – the tail made a wonderful hearty soup, that
used to help in stretching a small amount of meat, especially
when this was complemented with the addition of any
variety of vegetables. As with any stew, the key is to carefully
brown the meat in oil – ideally in batches – to ensure an
adequate infusion of flavour, throughout.
Oxtail Preparation: Add 2 chopped onions,
4 diced carrots, and fry, until this turns
brown in colour. Add half of a chef’s spoon
of Paprika, a quarter of a chef’s spoon of
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salt and coarse black pepper. To this, add 3
litres water, then simmer for 3 to 4 hours.
Add 250g of pre-cooked sugar beans.
Black Bream – Galjoen: Place the Galjoen
in a bowl. Add fish spice and black pepper.
Select your favorite fish sauce and spread
evenly. Add a dash of lemon. Grill in the
oven. Serve with Pap.
Kabeljou: Heat the pan to a medium-high
heat and rub the Kabeljou, all round, with
oil; then sprinkle fish seasoning and
pepper. Cook the fish skin, side down, for
about 4 minutes, until the skin is crisp. Flip
the fish and cook for a further 4 minutes,
until the fish is well-cooked. Move the fish
onto a large plate and place on a bed of
Morogo. Serve with three bean salad and
Pap.
Kingklip Thermidor: Melt 2 tablespoons of
butter and brush over the fish. Season with
salt and pepper. Turn each fish and place
the fish, seam side down, in a baking dish.
In a pre-heated oven, pour half a cup of
milk over the fish and bake at 350 degrees
for 25 minutes, until the fish begins to
crumble. Prepare the accompanying sauce
as has been shown below.
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Coconut Cheese Sauce: Mix 300ml of milk
and 1 cup of grated Cheddar with 3
tablespoons of Sherry and season with salt
and pepper. Spoon 60ml liquid from the
fish meal and stir into the cheese sauce.
Pour about 8 Kingklip fillets; sprinkle these
with Paprika and bake for a few more
seconds. This meal serves best with Pap or
rice.
Angwala (Whole Bream): Before it is pan
fried, the fish should be brushed with lemon
juice, coated with flour, and seasoned with
salt and pepper. Then you can panfry the
fish, evenly, on both sides for 10 minutes,
until it is brown and crisp. Serve with
sweet potato chips with traditional
sambals of beetroot, Atchaar and tomato
and onion gravy.
Portuguese Sardines Braai (Barbeque):
Prepare the braai fire, which should
ideally be low, to no flames. Oiling the
braai grate is highly recommended. You
will need 1kg of sardines – enough to serve
4 people – which should be scaled, cleaned
and rinsed, from your fisherman. Lay the
sardines on a clean kitchen towel and
remove any excess wetness from the fish
and place these in the fridge until ready to
braai. In advance, prepare tomato olive
vinaigrette.
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Tomato Olive Vinaigrette: In a mixing
bowl, combine 2 cups of diced tomatoes, half
a cup of olive oil, a three quarters-full cup
of olives (pitted and coarsely chopped), a
three quarters full cup of parsley, 2
tablespoons of fresh Basil (chopped), 2
tablespoons of red onions (finely sliced), 1
tablespoon of crushed Garlic, 1 teaspoon of
coarse salt and half a teaspoon of pepper.
Before braaing the fish: Place the sardines
on a baking sheet and sprinkle with a
quarter cup of olive oil, and turn the fish,
to coat completely. Spice the fish with the
remaining salt and pepper and then place
the sardines on the braai grate; with the
heat on the medium fire stage. Cook the fish,
undisturbed, for 3 minutes, until the skin is
slightly burnt to a crisp, and can be easily
skimmed off the braai grate. Turn the
sardines over and cook for another 3
minutes. Cut 1 lemon into several sizeable
slices. Brush the lemon slices on the
sardines. Repeat the same brushing process
with 1 tomato (halved), as well as with some
of the remaining olive oil; then season with
salt and pepper.
Braai the fish, until these are slightly
charred. Afterwards, place the sardines on
a serving platter, and sprinkle these with
the remaining olive oil. Also sprinkle half a
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cup of lemon juice over the sardines.
Finally, spoon the Tomato Olive vinaigrette
over the fish. Serve with Pap.
Portuguese Sardines: Clean 4 – 8 sardines,
and rub these with coarse salt and fish
spice, then fry the fish in butter. Add 1
chopped onion, green pepper and pitted
olives. For variety substitute the standard
green pepper and onion with a combination
of Red, Green and Yellow Peppers. Serve
with pap.
This Portuguese dish suited former Deputy President
Kgalema Motlanthe well, especially because of his then tight
schedule, as it is quick and easy to prepare. Mr Motlanthe is
also a healthy eater, and he is known to fancy the Portuguese
sardines, and always wishes that these should be prepared in
the traditional Portuguese way, and particularly likes these
served with boiled potatoes. On one of his regular visits to
the restaurant, as he was leaving having finished his usual
lunchtime meal, a big table of guests stood up to form an
impromptu “Guard of Honour” and burst into song,
singing beautifully for him, thus capping a good, albeit
unplanned lunch hour performance. Concerned by the
unexpected and somewhat invasive behaviour of my guests,
I had apologised to Mr Motlanthe for the unbecoming
behaviour of the group, which had coincidentally comprised
of women.
But, instead of being offended, Mr Motlanthe had said, with
a boyish smile: “Remember Mme Ma-Molefe, as a public figure, I
belong to the people. It is good that they are happy to see me. No
apologies needed.”
To round off our focus on fish, shell fish from neighbouring
Mozambique provides an exotic flair, and – the bigger the
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size, the more exotic and entertaining it is – which adds to
the whims of fine dining. In terms of prawn sizes, the
“Queens” and “Kings” are the average sizes, and then there
is the gigantic langoustine range.
Grilled Mozambican Prawns: Slit the back
of the prawns and devein. Spread out the
prawns and sprinkle these with your
favorite fish seasoning. Turn the prawns
and grill the meat with butter and olive oil.
While grilling, watch the fish closely for a
change of shell colour from white to pink,
which usually occurs after about 2 minutes.
Serve with rice or pap, accompanied by the
traditional sauces of beetroot, atchaar, and
tomato and onion gravy. As part of the
prep there must be a soup bowl for
discarded shells.
Lobster Mayonnaise: Remove the meat
from 1 lobster. Heat 1 cup of water to
boiling point. Add the juice from 1 lemon,
as well as salt and pepper, to taste. Also add
1 sliced onion and lobster meat. Simmer for
10 minutes. Remove the lobster meat and
keep the remaining combo warm. In the
same water, boil the lobster shell for 5
minutes. Remove and rinse under cold
running water. Place the shell on a serving
dish. Slice the lobster meat and spoon into
the shell. Mix 75ml mayonnaise with 45ml
of water and spread this on the lobster.
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Sprinkle with salt and pepper before
serving.
Breaking Bread
As part of the dining experience, bread is always offered
before starters. As you knead the dough, you pray for the
bread to be a blessing during the different meal times.
Besides being a significant Christian sacrament, breaking
bread is also a means of peace offering. The idea of taking
one’s piece of bread from the basket and passing this on,
from one person to the other, from the basket, is a dinner
ritual that we must ensure is featured in our family meals, as
well.
The family meal should bring peace among those eating
together. This can only happen if you, as the table host, pay
attention to the significance of breaking bread. Making flat
bread is good place to start.
Flat Bread – Diphaphata in Sesotho: Sift 2
cups of flour. To this, add 1 teaspoon of
yeast, and similar amounts of sugar and
herbs, as well as a pinch of salt. Adding
warm water, gradually knead the mixture
to form a soft dough. Cover the dough and
leave this to rise to double the original size.
Make small balls of dough and, on a floured
surface, flatten the small portions of the
dough to saucer-shaped and sized portions.
Bake these on a grilling pan, until these are
brown on both sides and slightly charred.
Alternatively bake on a medium fire braai
grill.
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Steamed Mealie Bread: To prepare this
type of bread, use a sharp knife to remove
mealie kernels from 6 mealie cobs, and
grind the kernels into a paste-like mixture.
Add 2 cups of flour, 2 tablespoons of
Bicarbonate of Soda and a quarter
teaspoon of salt. Mix well and knead into a
dough. Roll the dough into small balls and
place in a bowl and steam for 30 minutes.
Dumpling: Mix together 1 packet of dry
yeast, 1 tablespoon of sugar and half a cup
of warm water, and allow to stand in a
warm place, until the mixture rises. Mix 4
cups of flour (sifted), 1 teaspoon of salt, and
2 tablespoons of sugar, 1 cup of milk and 1
teaspoon of seeds and knead with yeast
paste. Let the dough rise for 1 hour. Boil the
water (not more than half of a 10-litre pot),
and place the dough in a silver dish. Glaze
with sugar water and oil. Boil on high for 1
hour.
Homemade Bread: Add the dry
ingredients; namely 4 cups of bread flour,
half a teaspoon of coarse salt, 1 packet of 10g
yeast, 2 cups of lukewarm water into a
bowl. Add water into the dry ingredients,
and mix with your hands. Lay the dough
out on a floured surface and knead for 10
minutes. Shape the dough into a ball and
place in a large bowl.
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Cover with a kitchen cloth or cling wrap
and place in a warm place for 1 hour, or
until the dough has doubled in size. Confirm
its readiness by pressing the dough, slightly;
and, if it is not springy, then it is ready.
Remove the dough from the bowl and knead
for 1 minute. Shape the dough into a flattish
rectangle on a floured surface.
Place the dough in a bread pan, and
generously smear this with butter, then
cover the dough with cling film and allow
this to rise for another 1 hour, or until it has
doubled in size.
Sprinkle a bit of flour on top and bake the
dough for 15 minutes, then turn the oven
down and bake for a further 30 minutes.
To test whether the bread is done, slip it out
of the pan, knock the bottom of the loaf and,
if it sounds hollow, then it is done.
Remove from the pan to cool.
Maize Meal Dumplings – Leqebelekwane in
Sesotho: For this kind of bread, you will
need normal yeast paste, 1 packet of yeast,
2 tablespoons of sugar, a pinch of salt, and
2 tablespoons of flour. Mix this fusion with
half a cup warm water. Let this stand in a
sunny or warm place, until it rises.
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In another dish, make a paste of 1 cup of
maize meal with half a cup of warm water
and let it cool. Mix this with 4 cups of cake
flour, 1 teaspoon of mixed seeds (sesame,
poppy, linseed) and add the yeast paste.
The dough must then be placed in a warm
place for about 1 hour to rise, and should
then kneaded before being placed in a dish
to fit in the steaming pot.
The making of dumplings or the different
types of bread is a process that is essentially
hands-on and personal, so in terms of the
dough texture, my advice is for the makers
to rely on their instincts, as well.
You want the dough soft and stretchy, but
not sticky, and most certainly, not as hard
as a rock! So, for the best results, the
dumplings must be left for a full hour before
opening the lid.
The other two interesting types of homemade bread are
Dofhi and Vhuswa.
Dofhi is a paste that is used in most African
dishes in the same way that cream is used
in Western dishes. When preparing Dofhi;
on the side, add half a cup of ground nuts,
which should be mixed with 1 cup of water
and left to simmer for 15 minutes, until
creamy.
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Vhuswa – which is a staple of the
VhaVenda and Bapedi people in South
Africa – is a soft smooth pap that is
prepared in the same way as that of Mihlo,
the Portuguese version of Pap. Cooked with
smooth maize meal, Vhuswa is packed in
layers like pancake layers. For variety, add
Cassava powder to the maize meal paste.
Kalembula – Sweet Potato Leaves: A
favorite Zambian dish (the variation is
called Mbyori) To prepare; cook 3 chopped
tomatoes, until these are soft and add sweet
potato leaves and cook for a further 10
minutes, then season with salt and pepper.
Add ground peanut sauce for the Mbyori
variation.
Roti: Mix 3 cups of flour with 1 teaspoon of
salt in a bowl. Rub in 3 tablespoons of oil
into the mixture to form crumbs. Add
water to form a soft dough. Roll the dough
on a floured surface to the size of a dinner
plate. Spread the dough with softened
butter and roll up like Swiss roll. Cover the
Swiss roll-like dough and rest for 30
minutes. Break off the dough into small
balls. Roll out each ball to into the size of a
side plate. Fry each side in hot oil for 2
minutes.
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Boboti: Ingredients: 1 slice white bread, 250
ml milk, 1kg lean minced beef or mutton, 125
ml seedless raisins, 125 ml of blanched
almonds; 15 ml apricot jam, 15 ml chutney,
25 ml lemon juice; 5 ml mixed herbs, 10ml
curry powder, 5ml turmeric, 10ml salt, 10ml
sunflower, 3 large eggs, 4 bay or lemon
leaves. Method: Soak bread in milk and
squeeze dry. Reserve the milk.
Mix the bread with the minced beef. Mix in
the all ingredients, excluding the milk, the
oil, eggs and bay leaves. Heat the oil in a
frying pan and brown the meat mixture
lightly. Turn this out into a casserole. Beat
the eggs with the remaining milk and pour
over the meat. Garnish the top of the
mixture with bay leaves. Bake until set.
Samp and Beans – Umxushu in isiXhosa .To
prepare, soak 2 cups of Samp and 1 cup of
sugar beans and leave overnight.
To make this creamy and bally, add 250ml
of water and boil for 3 – 4 hours. Season
with salt and pepper and add 1 tablespoon
oil.
Crab Curry: A traditional Mozambican
recipe is followed for a classic stew of crabs,
which is rounded off in a lightly curried
coconut milk base with tomatoes and onion.
To prepare the Crab Curry, heat oil in a
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pan, add the onion, then fry gently for
about 6 minutes, or until golden brown.
Add crab meat, tomato, chilli powder,
garlic and curry powder. Stir to combine,
then bring to a simmer and cook for 5
minutes, before stirring in the coconut
milk. Stir constantly to prevent curdling.
Serve with Basmati rice.
Crab-eating Tutorial
Crabs are delicious to eat but these can be messy and, for
many first-timers, crabs can be a puzzle to eat, not to
mention, frustrating.
The potential mess requires the preparation process to be
elaborate. And this involves preparing the guest for
protection against any possible splashes. Therefore, the use
of a smock is a necessity, as well as a crab mallet or
hammer, dull knife and a claw cracker.
First, you need to pull off all the legs and claws with a
twisting motion. You can use a dull knife, which should be
inserted into the joints, to make the removal easier.
Sometimes, a little meat will come out with the leg; don’t
be shy, eat it! You can toss the legs (fins), but you should
save the claws.
Turn the crab over on its back, open the apron, which
looks like a flap, and take the top half and the bottom half
in each hand, then pull off the top shell; all along taking
great care and doing all this slowly. Afterwards, you can
toss the top shell.
By now, it means that you would have cleaned out the crab
and removed the gills to show the shell. At this time, you
can take the bottom half and break it in half. Now, take one
of the halves and, with a knife (or your hands), cut this in
half. If you are using your hands, press down to break the
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chambers and then pull these apart. By now, you should
have the meat exposed. Use your fingers to extract the meat
and enjoy.
Use your knife to pull the meat out of the smaller chambers.
Pick away all the chunks of meat in the body. Start with the
claws. Crack the claws by using the hinged cracker, hitting
these with the crab mallet, or using your knife. For the most
efficient way to open a claw, lay down the sharp side of your
knife on the middle of the red side of the claw.
Then you should use the crab mallet to gently hit the knife,
until the knife is halfway through the claw. Finally, pivot the
knife to the side. That will open the claw and make it easier
to reach the meat. You can then snap the shell open and eat
the meat, avoiding the cartilage. Quite a performance.
An Anecdote
Portuguese dining is often full of drama. To illustrate this,
one related event comes to mind. The menu was a delightful
Portuguese one that has blended with Indian cuisine. On
offer was an option of curry, prepared either in a typical
Portuguese style or Indian style.
This particular patron had ordered Mozambican curry. This
was a regular patron we had inherited from the previous
owners of the restaurant. Once a month, without fail, he
comes for his dose of crab curry, washes it down with a
good bottle of Chardonnay and finishes off with a Crème
Brule. Always by himself.
On this occasion, halfway through the meal, we are
summoned to his table. It was with regards to the portion
size of the crab curry, it seemed to be small. He was basing
this on the fact that he did not feel full. The man says he
usually feels satisfied after his pot of crab curry, but not this
time! After a series of questions, to establish if he was
possibly more hungry than usual, he says, adamantly, “No,
the portion was too small.”
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We kept the bones and shells safe at the scullery, as possible
evidence in case such a scenario were to arise, so as to
simplify things. Thanks to the efficient record-keeping in
the office, my husband could show him the delivery copies
from the supplier, proving that the portion sizes had not
been altered in any way. Safe to say that, ultimately, we were
able to convince the customer that the portion sizes were
consistent.
Finally, after a scenario that had seemed to have taken a
whole dinner sitting, there was peace in the restaurant.
Happy and satisfied (telling himself that it might be the
waiter’s fault) at last a new arrangement was established.
The patron would now order two portions to fully satisfy
his huge appetite for his favourite crab curry. The guest
continued to patronize the restaurant with the insistence of
being served by nobody else but my husband.
Yet another Anecdote
Then, there was Mike, a fine diner and a whisky
connoisseur. His whisky was served with the bottles fully
displayed on the table, giving his guests full access to their
favorite malt. In short, he bought his tots by the bottle. He
also enjoyed the interactive dining that we offered, including
the service package that accompanied our signature dishes,
particularly the traditional ritual of washing of hands before
the meal. As well as my husband’s pleasant and efficient
hosting skills. As I am busy with some admin in the office,
my husband summons me to Mike’s table.
“Come, Mike wants to talk to us, and he insists you must be
there.” I stop myself from asking if it is the Mozambican
crab curry query, once again, and I follow him. “I have been
coming to your restaurant for a while, and am very
impressed with the quality of food and service, more
importantly I admire the way you work together as a
couple.” Mike announces.
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“So I would like you to host a CD launch for a client of
mine,” Mike adds, introducing the subject, before
elaborating on the brief. “It must be an intimate,
spectacular event with an exotic menu. My clients should
not have to ask for drinks. The drinks must be on the table,
in the same way as I dine. Each table should have a bottle
of premium whisky, red and white wine, bottled water and
juice,” he says, wrapping up the brief.
The launch menu consisted of three platters per table,
namely: Shell Fish Platter of lobster, prawns and line fish,
served with chips and rice; Meat Platter of beef riblets,
boerewors and “Buffalo Wings”, served with chips, and a
Traditional Platter of Mogodu, chicken giblets and livers,
served with dumpling. The event was for the then unknown
Ntando’s first CD under the TK Records stable, a group of
young, budding entrepreneurs. The programme director
was the late Vuyo Mbuli. The Three Tenors opened the
floor over appetisers. It turned out to be one of the most
brilliant fusion of food and music that we had ever put
together.
One party breeds another, which is how the industry works.
It was not surprising therefore that by the Monday
following the CD launch, we already had a booking. Mrs.
Moodley, the patron who was planning a party, had walked
in with a clear plan in her mind. And she had said, “My
husband is turning 40 and I want the same menu as the one
you had served on Saturday.” Of course, it could not be the
exact menu as it would be absurd to do a corporate menu
for a private party. With some convincing, she agrees on a
slightly toned down platter menu; and so began the themed
festival of platters, the most popular being the traditional
platter.
Regarding carbohydrates, Pap (maize meal porridge) is the
main ingredient on the menu list for most South Africans.
It is also our staple food, but not indigenous, as has already
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been mentioned. Pap adopts different names as it spreads
across the African continent.
If it is smooth and soft, it is served for breakfast. If it is thick in
its consistency, then it is suitable for stews in bigger meals,
like lunches and dinners. When it is dry and crumbly, then it is
known as Phutu in the Nguni languages and south Sotho,
and is mostly eaten with sour milk. Pap, in its thicker
version, is traditionally served with Seshabo (a traditional
relish made of tomato and onions as basic ingredients). Pap
also stands alongside rice, pasta or couscous, the equivalent
of mealie rice. Couscous is a staple food that we share with
most African and some European countries like Portugal.
Interestingly, in Malawi pap is called Nsima, Ugali in Kenya,
and Sadza in Zimbabwe. The texture preference is
influenced by the regions which we come from. In South
Africa’s northern parts, Pap is so soft that it must be allowed
to form first before serving. On the other hand, Basotho
people like their Pap stiff.
Pap is best prepared in its authentic recipe, which is boiled
water and salt with a very smooth texture. It is the base of
our South African palate, often complemented by rich
sauces. If one wants to experiment with the recipe of pap, it
must be to the extent of improving the taste, not the texture,
core ingredients or the colour.
Pap: Boil 500 ml water, and add salt. Make
a paste of 2 cups mealie meal with cold
water. Lower the heat and, while stirring
with a whisk, slowly add the paste, which
should be loose and drip off the beater.
Simmer for 10 minutes, stirring
intermittently, using a wooden spoon. For
variety, you may add sweet corn or replace
water with milk. Portion with a chef’s
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spoon or saucer and cover with cling wrap.
Leave the crust in the pot to dry, and eat
over breakfast or over lunch with tomato
and onion sauce.
Fufu on the other hand is boiled cassava
pounded to a pulp, puréed and formed or
moulded into balls.
Pap Tartlets: Cook pap the usual way. Add
rice powder, herbs, butter and olive oil and
some salt. Cut the soft pap into tartlets,
deep fry and serve.
Phutu: Boil 1 cup water in a pot and add
olive oil, butter and salt. Once boiled, lower
the heat, and slowly add 2 cups of mealie
meal, using a fork to stir. Allow areas of the
mealie meal to dry, and be careful not to
add water, as the steam will soften it.
Allow to simmer on low heat for 15 minutes,
stirring intermittently. This may be served
in place of couscous, with stews, but this is
traditionally eaten with fermented (Sour)
milk, a favorite past time meal for lazy
cooking days.
An ideal vegetarian meal, Phutu can also be used as holding
crust for beef pie casserole.
For yet another Phutu variety, cool Phutu
on the side, and add tomato and onion
gravy and grated cheese or pre-cooked
butter beans. Serve with vegetables.
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Couscous: This is a staple food in Algeria,
Tunisia and Morocco. It is a coarsely
grounded semolina that is moistened and
rolled out in flour. To prepare, pour 4
tablespoons of butter into 2 cups of couscous
and pour a cup of boiling water and leave
for 10 minutes. Separate the grains with a
fork and place in a colander (uncovered)
over a pot of boiling water for 10 minutes.
Cassava – Mandioca :Like sweet potato,
Cassava is a tropical vegetable that has
brown skin with a starchy flesh. This can be
used in place of potatoes and is often
ground to make cassava flour or Gari
which may be used as Phutu to make a
variety of Pap. Cassava may be added to
maize meal to give it a smooth texture.
DESSERT
Early in the 60’ and 70’s, Soweto was a green city, with lots
of trees, and almost every next house had a fruit tree of
some sort or the other, but most of the homes boosted
peach trees. The harvested peaches were cooked and
preserved in sugar syrup, and my mother was an expert in
this. In addition to peaches in syrup, traditional dessert is
every granny’s treat, especially when accompanied by
custard and jelly, as well as a good flow of Gemere, ginger
beer. Gemere is a traditional ginger drink which is served with
traditional scones that are known as the Potchefstrooms. As
has already been mentioned in a related recipe, the method
of mixing traditional scones is different from the usual jam
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and butter scones, giving them a pliable easy-to-mould
consistency.
For an added crunchiness, the last quarter portion of the
sugar is added at the end of the mixing process; that is, just
before cutting.
For the Syrup: Boil one and a half litres of
water on high heat and add 1kg of sugar,
stirring continuously until sugar is
dissolved.
Handling the Bottled Peaches: Select 20
healthy medium sized peaches. Wash and
peel the peaches and cut each of these into
halves. Immerse the peach halves in a
boiling pot for 2 minutes, and then transfer
the halves into a bowl of cold water.
The Bottle Prep: Wash several bottling jars,
together with their lids, and fill these with
boiled water for 10 – 15 minutes to sterilise
the jars. Place the peaches in the bottles,
ensuring that there is a tight vacuum, and
pour the syrup from the pot on top of each
layer. Leave a small space at the top, seal
the bottle tightly and allow both the
container and its contents to cool. Serve the
canned peaches with custard.
Homemade Custard: Beat 2 eggs, 1 egg yolk,
and 30ml of corn starch, 30ml of sugar and
1ml of salt; and combine all of these
ingredients into one finely ground mixture.
Heat 250ml of cream in a pot and add to
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the egg mixture. Mix thoroughly and pour
back into the pot and heat gradually, while
stirring with a wooden spoon. Once cooked,
the custard should coat the back of a metal
spoon. Add 2ml of vanilla essence for
flavour and sprinkle sugar over the surface
to prevent top skin from forming.
Maize-Meal Custard with Chocolate Sauce:
Heat 2 cups of cream, 2 teaspoons of
cinnamon, half a cup of cup sugar and half
a teaspoon of vanilla essence together. Mix
one and a half cups of maize-meal with 1
cup of milk and add to a sizeable amount of
warm cream in a container. Stir the
mixture gently, until thick. Serve with
prunes and chocolate cream sauce.
Jazzed Up Custard and Jelly: To whip up
this old time childhood Sunday treat, you
will need a mixture of crumbled biscuits,
coconut and a cinnamon, which should be
sprinkled on top of a layers of custard and
jelly. Then there should also be a dash of
cream, mixed with a tot of Old Brown
Sherry on the side. Custard and Jelly
always evokes deep, unexpected emotions
from guests, as they are suddenly reminded
of their mothers and grannies. In the
absence of custard and jelly, dessert is
traditional Gemere, Ginger Beer, and
scones.
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Hot Ice Cream Chocolate Ganache: Ganache
is a somewhat intimidating, albeit polite,
harmless word, which means chocolate
melted in cream. Method: For the Ganache,
you will need 2 table spoons of chocolate,
which should be chopped into small pieces; 1
cup of heavy cream, 3 tablespoons of whisky
(optional). As a part of a simple recipe, you
accordingly chop the chocolate and put this
into a heatproof bowl. Heat the cream until
it reaches a simmering point, and pour it
over the chocolate. Let this stand for 1
minute and then stir, until smooth. Add
the butter and whiskey and stir until
combined. Serve with ice cream.
Dessert is served, or maybe not...
It was a corporate table of sixty guests. The company was
celebrating their annual Christmas party. The client, one of
our regular guests, had booked off the whole restaurant for
only sixty people, but were opting for a full bouquet package
for hundred and forty people. This was to ensure that her
table was adequately hosted.
All our ducks were in a row. The menu featured our
personal favourites. It always works to your advantage when
you like the guest’s choice. Dessert was my all-time
favourite, ice cream Chocolate Ganache. With such an easy
dessert, nothing could go wrong; or so, I had thought to
myself.
As the entrée was cleared, the plates came back, and had all
been wiped clean, except for baby chicken bones, shells
from the prawn dishes and rump steak plates shining. Just
then, the host called out for dessert. Like a good soldier on
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attention, I picked up my husband’s signal and, with
extreme confidence, I had charged to the kitchen, to
accordingly alert the chef. As I had entered the kitchen, I
met the chef without his jacket on, and it had looked like he
was leaving. Concerned, I had followed him, and –
confirming my suspicions, as he was storming out – he had
said: “I am leaving, I will see you on Monday.”
But, this was no time for any further discussions, as the table
was waiting; so I rushed back to the kitchen. On the kitchen
floor was the kitchen assistant. “I am tired, Mama,” she had
announced, exasperated, and had then sprawled out,
prostrate, on the floor.
For a moment, my mind was riddled with questions:
“Why would this happen, when the table was going so
well?”
“What do I say to the guest?”
And, “What about the other kitchen staff?”
Oh no! They are out, on lunch! As always, whenever things
go awry, I got to my little corner – to have that desperate
sincere talk – a despairing one-on-one. Within a few
seconds, I had managed to gather some strength, and to
wear my thinking cap, and came up with a strategy.
I broke down the sixty guests into table sittings of three
tables of thirty, twenty and ten people. I had then set the
decorative serving dishes in accordance with the differently
sized table sittings.
One table at a time, I had streamlined the ingredients for
the corresponding platings; and, as each waiter and waitress
had fetched the desserts, they had finished off the matching
garnish for me, as well. Instead of a mess, what a well-oiled
conveyor belt this had turned out to be. Later, in the
passage, I overheard the host talking to my husband and
daughter Mothei, applauding them for a job well done.
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Dessert is indeed served! Sadly, such unforeseen incidences
are a common disease in the kitchen restaurant.
On a certain day, amid an intense labour conflict, a company
director went to his office, sat down and said to himself, “I
am not running this business well and I don’t know what to
do. I guess I can either get drunk or pray.”
He had then thought a little longer and had then reflected,
quietly, “Nothing will probably change if I pray. But if I get drunk,
nothing will change either, and I’ll have a hangover. If I pray and
nothing comes of it, I can always get drunk later.”
With this strange logic and tiny seed of faith, he knelt and
prayed. This truism is inspired by Trevor Hudson’s Journey
of The Spirit – Showing Love in The Market Place.
As with this company director, prayer for me had become a
desperate cry for help, and it was not just a theological or
doctrinal undertaking. On that day, when all else had
seemed to have gone wrong, I had prayed because I was
drowning and I had nothing, or had known nothing else to
reach out to. Unlike the company director, I did not have a
private office, so – many a time – the toilet became a safe
spot for me to cry out to God; my sanctuary, so to speak.
I had reached a point of understanding the power of the
Lord’s Prayer and had prayed the prayer, not in the way that
it has been misconstrued, and had come to be taken for
granted; because, generally, people assume that if they say
and recite the words of the Lord’s Prayer, then they are
praying.
I had learned to pray the words with a deep appreciation
that God is my Father, and that, indeed, He is going to
rescue me. Not because I am good, but just like all the main
characters in the history of the Bible, God’s acceptance of
me with all of my shortcomings and miscalculations; and the
Almighty continuing to forgive me, despite my having
messed up my life in various ways.
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And I did not need to put up a façade any longer, but just
had to bring the rawness of my life to Him, with the Lord’s
prayer as an assemblage of pointers to what I have come to
hold onto, for dear life, as every aspect of my life came
crumbling down: “Give us this day, our daily bread…”
The restaurant was a basic need for our sustenance, and I
pleaded to Him to give me inner strength and peace of
mind, to equip and empower me, to keep the business going
amid the craziness of my personal life. But there also
seemed to be conditions for this provision. Somehow in my
conversations – in the sanctuary – the word, “forgiveness”,
kept on sneaking up on me. It was loud and clear; I had to
ask for forgiveness, first and (then, to) forgive others.
I kept asking myself with a tantrum, throwing my toys out
the window: “How was this related to the chef walking out
on a table, when he was supposed to have been on duty;
serving?” The chef incident was one of many troubles,
regarding the business in general; but was the tip of the
iceberg. For one to be free from resentment, anger and all
other sorts of poisonous emotions, I had to tackle the issue
of forgiveness, head-on.
The most challenging part was that of me acknowledging
my part in the breakdown of all my dealings. As I
acknowledged my faults, I found myself being able to relate
better with everyone, including those causing me harm.
Searching further, I had also realised that – throughout
history – God had been using the mundane things of life to
point human beings to their spiritual well-being.
For me, it was the restaurant business and all that had come
with the related occupation and the industry. The experts
keep telling us that our physical wellbeing is influenced, to
a large extent, by our spiritual form. All the troubles of my
personal life and the fluctuations of my business had then
pointed me to a point where it was sore.
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And it had nothing to do with my husband or my
employees. As I had begun to work on the stings, lesions
and blisters of my life, all the affected areas of my life took
a different form, shape and colour; and there was a definite,
positive transformation.
And, as had become a new norm, prayer became a lifestyle;
and, likewise, order had then become the epitome of my
existence. Then my previously disorderly life became
orderly!
THE MAIN INGREDIENT – TSHISA-NYAMA
Regarding steak, the question is, medium or medium rare?
Of course, as most chefs would assert, it is medium rare!
Traditionally however, “medium” is certainly acceptable.
But why the fuss? The fact is that, the longer you cook a
steak, the tougher and drier it gets.
Medium Rare Steak Colours: Usually, the outside is greybrown,
and the middle is pink, with a tinge of red in the center.
Cooking time is 3 minutes on each side, basting on both
sides, in-between; a total of 6 minutes. Resting time is 7
minutes, to retain the juices.
Medium steak colours: On the other hand, for a medium
steak, the colour is a rich brown color on the sides, with the
top and bottom being charred, darkly, but not being black,
with a middle that is a pale pink. Cooking time is 4 minutes
on each side. This should take a total of 8 minutes; and,
should this cook longer, there would not be any juices
available, at all. If you have two orders running at the same
time, you should ideally start with the medium steak.
Or the Rare Option: For those who prefer rare steak there
is Beef Carpaccio.
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Beef Carpaccio: For this, you will need 100g
raw beef, Pecorino cheese and Cape dried
vinaigrette. For Cape dried fruit
vinaigrette, you need 100g of Cape dried
fruit (finely chopped), 100ml of wine
vinegar, 150ml of olive oil, 20g of sun-dried
tomato (finely chopped), and 10g of fresh
basil. Mix all these ingredients and add salt
and coarse black pepper.
Regarding various meat cuts, the secret of a good steak is in
the cut, maturation, basting and the marinade. So, having a
good butcher is critical. Butchering techniques differ
according to regional and cultural traditions, and from
country to country.
So, it is always advisable to talk to your butcher when buying
different types of meat. The upper cuts are the best parts of
a carcass. Further from the horns and hoofs, the muscles
are not used a lot and are therefore tender. These are prime
cuts that are good for quick cooking methods – like grilling
and panfrying, and tend to be most expensive – starting on
the upper back and moving down to the mid-back:
The Ribs contain cuts such as the Rib Roast, the Rib-Eye
steak and the Back Ribs – and this is the least tender section
of the three different cuts, but by far the most flavourful.
The Loin is the most expensive cut of beef. The loin is
tender and can be cooked quickly, without this toughening,
in any way. This is because the loin is not a heavily used
muscle and does not contain much connective tissue. The
Short Loin cut on a carcass produces cuts including the T-
Bone, top Loin Steak, Tenderloin and the Portuguese Steak. The
most popular steak among South Africans is the T-bone steak,
which is ideal for a braai (Barbeque).
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The Sirloin provides the Sirloin Steak, as well as other steak
types, like the Chuck, Round and Flank steak. Of these, the
Round and Flank steak tend to be tough cuts of meat. These
come from the shoulder and are highly used muscles, with
lots of connective tissue.
Veal comes from young calves, so it is tender, lean and of
course, the most expensive. Marinade is an essential
dressing to ensure that your meat does not dry up in the
open flame. Basting, on the other hand, is used to keep meat
moist during the cooking process, and to apply or enhance
flavour. There are three types of marinade: moist, dry and
paste:
Moist Marinades: The basic constituents are acid wine,
fruit juice or yoghurt to soften the meat, aromatics for flavor
and sunflower oil for moisture.
Dry Marinades: These are mainly used for flavouring; so
these are best used on fattier pieces of meat, oily fish or for
braised dishes. The mixture is rubbed into the food before
cooking. For variety, grated citrus peel may be added.
Marinating red meat must be done with caution. Unless
stored in a properly sealed bag, it should not be marinated
for long periods.
Chicken, however, is best marinated longer, ideally for up
to forty eight hours. Beef is at its best quality when it is aged,
and usually comes from animals aged between eighteen
months to two years. The process of ageing breaks down
the enzymes in the beef, thus naturally making the meat
tender, and thus giving it a ‘beefier’ flavour. There are two
kinds of ageing, wet and dry.
Wet ageing is the type most butchers carry out, lately. This
is the process that occurs when the beef is placed in a
vacuum-sealed plastic bag and allowed to age in its own
juices. Wet aging takes less time than dry-ageing, generally,
lasting around seven days.
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Well matured beef goes to a slightly brown shade, darker than
deep red. On the other hand, beef that has not been
matured properly has a bright red color, which is often
mistaken for quality!
Salt and black pepper is the seasoning of choice, and is
usually featured in most of the common African recipes;
and these are followed by garlic cloves, coriander, cumin,
bicarbonate of soda and turmeric. In addition to the
national leaves of Morogo and peppers, most dishes feature
Okra, beans, sweet potatoes and pumpkin. Nuts, peanut
butter, peanuts, palm and Sesame Oils are also among the
most commonly used ingredients.
Meat Marinade: Mix together black
pepper, paprika, salt, bay leaves, vinegar,
red wine and olive oil (the mixture may be
stored for long periods). Allow the meat to
marinate overnight. Paint the meat with
the basting before and during the braaing
process, and this should be done, ideally, on
low heat. Be careful not to turn your
braaied meat into biltong! Always serve
with Chakalaka, beetroot and Atchaar and,
of course, plain simple Pap.
Spicy Yoghurt Marinade: Combine 1 cup of
plain yoghurt, 2 crushed garlic cloves, and
2.5ml each of ground cumin, cinnamon and
crushed black peppercorn, a pinch each of
ground ginger, ground cloves, cayenne
pepper and salt. Use this marinade type for
chicken, lamb and fish.
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Coconut and Pineapple Marinade: Blend
peeled, chopped pineapple, juice of half of
lime and three quarters of a cup of coconut
milk in a food processor. Use this marinade
type for chicken and pork.
TRADITIONAL SAUCES
Below are regular South African traditional sauces. The
flavours of these three sauces make a good accompaniment
for a Tshisanyama menu.
Tomato and Onion Gravy: Fry 2 chopped
onions, preferably with olive oil or palm oil;
add 1 bunch of spring onion, 2 tablespoons
of paprika, 1 teaspoon of salt and 1
tablespoon each of crushed garlic and
ginger. Add 6 chopped tomatoes (or sweet
tomatoes), basil, 1 tablespoon of Worcester
sauce and a pinch of sugar. To achieve a
palatable texture, fry the spice with onion
first, before adding the tomatoes. Never
add water.
Beetroot Sauce: Beetroot, cooked and finely
grated, green pepper and finely-chopped
onions. Add sugar, vinegar, Worcester
sauce, olive oil, chopped canned apricots,
grated orange peel and chilli. Add white
pepper.
Atchaar: This is a Cape dish that we have
inherited from Malaysia and is featured in
a lot of meals.
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TABLE TALKER
South Africa is the ninth largest wine producer in the world,
eighty four percent (84%) of which is produced by
cooperatives. Approximately 314 million litres of wine is
exported to the international market per annum. Therefore,
wines form an integral part of our culinary heritage. In the
same way as with many other traditional drinks, wines
deserve to be celebrated accordingly.
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Three
A Glass Of Something
Traditional Bubblies
Beers And Wines
Why do guests taste wine before being served? The guest does
not taste wine to decide whether they like it or not. Instead,
they do this to make sure that the wine is not corked; that it
is not contaminated with cork taint. This is not simply the
taste of a cork; but, rather, it is ascertaining the presence of
the particular smell and taste that somehow resembles a
damp, soggy, wet or rotten cardboard. Oftentimes, such a
whiff causes the wine to taste as if it is off. And this happens
to both red and white wine.
D
RINKING SPOTS
Shebeens, sometimes referred to as Spotong in
the townships, were promulgated by Apartheid
South Africa’s Liquor Act of 1927, which
prohibited indigenous Africans from selling alcohol or
entering licensed premises.
The Land Act of 1927, on the other hand, left the
population black without a source of income, often with
dire economic effects on countless families. Black people
were also forced to move to the urban areas to seek wagepaying
jobs.
African women struggled to find employment and did not
have to carry identity documents (then also known as
passes) until the nineteen fifties. They were shunned by
employers, most of whom had insisted on employees they
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could control, and – as a result – the women struggled to
find work in the formal sector. So, to earn an income, many
women developed skills as astute beer brewers.
Rural Africa has a historic tradition of beer brewing.
Customarily, it is the women who were tasked with this
chore. My late mother in law was among these special
women. These intrepid women, who came to be called
“Shebeen Queens”, made and sold beer to migrant workers
who could not afford to buy the Western types of beer, or
who still preferred their favourite traditional African beers.
My elder sister, Monki, was a neighbour to the iconic
“Shebeen King”, Peggy “Belair” Senne. The late Senne and
his wife, Kukie, were among the first few township residents
to own a license for owning a tavern in the townships in the
nineteen eighties.
The family business, which is located at house number 2475
in Rockville, Soweto, was established in the nineteen sixties,
and is now run by their son, Tonny Senne. Unsurprisingly,
the Senne family is mentioned in the same breath of
reverence as are fellow iconic taverners and Soweto
Taverners Association pioneers like Godfrey “Louis Luyt”
Moloi, Lucky Michaels and Ray Mollison.
“My father’s father started the shebeen business in Sophiatown in the
nineteen fifties, which he continued after the family was forcefully
relocated to Soweto; and I am now continuing the legacy,” says Tony
Senne, about his late flamboyant father, who got the
“Belair” nickname after he became the first Soweto resident
to own a Chevy Bel-Air sedan in the nineteen fifties.
Shebeens were township bars and taverns; places where
mostly working class urban males could unwind, socialise
and escape the oppression of life in a segregated society.
Despite their illegal status, these places played a unifying
role in the communities, providing a sense of identity and
belonging; and this was where patrons could express
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themselves, culturally and they could also meet and discuss
political and social issues, as well.
Oftentimes, the police arrested both the patrons and owners
for various valid and mostly trumped-up charges. As the
shebeens had evolved, with time, and had become
permanent features of the townships’ social scene, these
establishments competed to attract guests by offering live
music, dancing and food.
After the democratic elections of nineteen ninety four, most
of the shebeens have become legal and are now increasingly
sophisticated, and are catering to a younger, trendier
generation of black and white patrons and tourists. A visit
to a modern shebeen can be a fun and engrossing
experience.
Many of these establishments are saturated with history; be
it with old Sophiatown photographs on the walls, the style
of music played (mainly jazz) or the serving of traditional
township dishes. But you will also find modern comforts
like big screen television sets, digital jukeboxes, impressive
collections of single-malt whiskies, and an international
selection of beers. Some even have adjacent art or
photographic galleries.
AFRICAN JAZZ CAFÉ
The laid-back, attitude-free atmosphere of modern
township shebeens is so popular among locals and visitors,
alike, that many urban restaurateurs are copying their guestfriendly
formulae and setting up shebeen style nightclubs
and eateries in the trendiest suburbs, business hubs and city
centres.
The African Jazz Café in Grayston Drive, Sandton was one
such establishment. Diners were attracted to the restaurant
because of the well-priced menu, a unique variety of meals,
which catered for all tastes and age groups, as well as a
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reputation for good service, excellent cuisine and most of
all, the best live entertainment.
Also, the bar was well positioned; right at the back of the
restaurant, providing an intimate atmosphere, away from
the hustle and bustle of the front-of-the-house. The fullservice
bar in the restaurant was strictly off limits to staff,
except for the bartender. It was a gathering place for a quick
meeting, or where the diners could relax while waiting for
their meals. This entailed a variety of non-alcoholic and
alcoholic drinks, including some Kenyan tea and homebrewed
traditional ginger beer, known in township lingua
franca as Gemere.
TRADITIONAL DRINKS
Gemere is a traditional, non-alcoholic South African
homemade drink. Ginger is an ancient herb used for
medicinal and cooking purposes. It essentially prevents
indigestion by breaking down proteins.
Gemere is popular at social gatherings, and – when it is
jazzed up with orange, lemon or pineapple – it makes a
refreshing summer drink. It is another one of those recipes
which have been handed-down the generations, and is easy
to make.
However, each Gemere or Ginger Beer brewer – the same
as those who whip up a supposedly inimitable brand of
Umqombothi, traditional sorghum beer – tends to think
that theirs is the best recipe. I have seen people getting
emotional as they get pedantic on non-existent differences
on how to make proper Umqombothi or Gemere.
There are two ways of making Gemere. One is by first
boiling 20 litres of water, adding ingredients as below,
stirring and then allowing the mixture to brew over 48
hours. My mother’s special recipe, and the one I would
always readily recommend, is shown below.
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Gemere – Traditional Ginger Beer: Boil 5 liters
water. In a bowl with cold water, prepare a
paste of 2 packets of Ginger powder (50g each),
2 packets of Tartaric Acid, and 2 packets of
Cream of Tartar (25mg each). Add the paste to
the boiling water, and stir, until this becomes
smooth. Add 2kg of brown sugar and stir. Boil
for 45 minutes, then reduce the heat. Remove
from the stove, add ice cubes and allow the beer
to cool. Dilute with cold water in a 20litre
bucket and add 2 sliced oranges. Serve cold.
Umqombothi: Combine 1 kg of mealie meal and
1kg of Mthombo Mbila (corn malt) in a 25litre
drum. Add 4 litres of boiling water and mix
well, to form a paste, and leave to cool. Add 1kg
of Mabele-Mthombo (sorghum malt), then cover
and leave overnight.
When fermentation has taken place, leave 2
cups on the side, and add the fermented mixture
to 2 litres of boiling water and cook to a
porridge-like consistency. Leave to cool, then
pour the mixture into the drum and add the 2
cups of the fermented portion (which had been
set aside, earlier). Set aside the remaining 3kg of
Mabele-Mthombo (sorghum malt). Stir and
leave overnight. Sieve with a strainer and
serve with a dash of ice cream for the
unfamiliar palate.
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Pineapple Beer: Wash 4 unpeeled pineapples
under running water and chop these into small
chunks. Add the pineapple chunks into a bucket
of 10 litres water, 4 pineapples, 500g of sugar, 1
packet of instant yeast and mix well, until the
sugar and yeast have dissolved. Cover with a lid
and leave for 3 days to ferment. Once
fermented, sieve with a strainer and bottle in
sterilised containers.
Watermelon Beer: Cut 1 watermelon into four
pieces and scoop out the fruit. Place the scooped
out watermelon fruit in a container and leave
in a warm area, to ferment. Once fermented,
strain through a strainer. Place the beer back
into the sealed container and leave it to mature.
Baobab Fruit Yoghurt: Thoroughly wash 10
Baobab Fruits under running water. In a large
bowl, mix the fruit with 1litre of milk. Stir the
mixture to release the flesh from the pits.
Remove the pits and serve as dessert, with
stewed peaches. These can be sourced at the
Bryanston Organic Market.
Morula Fruit Brew: Wash 6 kg of Morula fruit
and remove the skin. Place the fruit into a large
container and add 12 litres water to cover the
fruit. Stomp and squash the fruit to squeeze the
juice and flesh off the Morula pips. The mixture
thickens as the stomping and squashing
progresses, and as the juice and flesh are fused
into the liquid.
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Remove the pips, and leave covered for 2 days,
to ferment. Add 500g of sugar and stir, to
dissolve. These can also be sourced at the
Bryanston Organic Market.
Wild Medlar Fruit Brew: Wash 3 kg of Wild
Veld Medlar Fruit under running water. Mix 5
litres milk with the fruit and stomp the fruit to
thicken; and then serve, later, as dessert.
FOOD AND WINE PAIRING
WINE IN SIMPLE TERMS
As has been mentioned, earlier, South Africa is the ninth
largest wine producer in the world, 84% of which is
produced by cooperatives. Approximately 314 million litres
of wine is exported to the international market per annum.
Despite the pomp and spectacle with which wine is served,
like the misconception regarding High Tea, wine is – in
contrast – a drink of peasants.
History actually describes wine as a magic portion for ills, and as a
means of celebration. Good wine goes well with good food. In
fact, there are no rules about food and wine, only inane
nuances, tones and hints which people tend to make up.
Wine, in simple terms, is defined in two ways:
1. The type of grapes they are made of, and these are namely
the red, rosé or white grapes.
2. The production technique (referred to as design) which is
used to manufacture, ferment and blend the wine.
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1. Wines which are defined by the types of Grapes
1.1 – Classic White Selection:
WHITE
CHARDONNAY
Chardonnay is a dry white wine which is used in a wide
range of wine designs. It is a grape that is easy to grow,
leading to a wine whose character is reliant on wood. The
wood gives it its polished golden colour and a creamy
marmalade flavour, complete with a smoky aroma.
This wine is best paired with Maize and
Bean Soup, Masonja, Banana and Bean
Salad, Skaap Skop (Sheep Head), Beef
Carpaccio, Butternut Soup, Chakalaka
Salad with Couscous, Curried Chicken Salad
and Haloumi Cheese.
CHENIN BLANC
One of the major wine varieties is the typical South African
semi-sweet Stein. Chenin Blanc is also the backbone of
most Late Harvests and many other Special Late Harvests,
making it an outstanding dinner table workhorse, and each
connoisseur’s favourite.
SAUVIGNON BLANC
This is a wine that is high in acidity, and it is in the same
league as Chardonnay in terms of having established the
Cape as a serious wine region, to global acclaim.
This wine can be suitably paired with
Kapenta, Mussels Seshebo, Avocado and
Smoked Snoek Salad, Kingklip Thermidor,
Maotwana (Chicken Feet or Trotters, in
loose township slang), Chicken Livers,
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Chicken Wings with Whipped Feta; Snails
and Soweto Beetroot Salad.
RIESLING
Riesling, which is appetising and low in alcohol, is noted for
its long life, often allowing this fine grape to evolve for long
periods.
1.2 Classic Red Selection
RED
PINOTAGE
The charming deep, heavy ink colour, with pink edges
epitomises a typically full-bodied wine, and one that tends
to fill the mouth, and almost effortlessly forms an ideal
accompaniment to South Africa’s signature dishes like
Lamb Shank, Oxtail and Tripe. Its distinctive Banana flavor
makes it an easy, and most enjoyable dinner partner.
Red Pinotage is best paired with Lamb
Shank, Lamb Potjie, Oxtail, Mogodu (Sheep
Tripe), Impala (Venison) Ragout, Ostrich
Kebabs, Tshotlho (Brisket Pounded Meat)
and Biltong.
MERLOT
Merlot is made from fully ripened fruit, with well-balanced
acid. This type of wine’s colour is a bouquet of dark cherries
and violets, with a soft velvety look, and is distinguishable
by its easy access.
Merlot can be comfortably paired with
Roasted Pork, Pork Ribs, Umleqwa
(Traditional Chicken) and Pan fried
Chicken Breasts.
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CABERNET SAUVIGNON
This wine is derived from the most commonly grown red
grapes in South Africa, and is – arguably – the base of many
of the red blends.
This type of wine is commonly paired with
Ox or Lamb Livers, T-bone steak, Beef
Fillet, Beef Sausage, Boboti, Goat Stew,
Chicken Curry and Lamb Chops.
PINOT NOIR
This is one of the world’s greatest ancient fragile wines, and
its accomplishment often depends on the ripeness of the
fruit, and especially when this is delicately tended by a warm
sun, cool nights and well controlled shades.
SHIRAZ
Shiraz is a wine that combines a red berry fruit intensity,
with a spicy pepperiness, and an innate sweetness.
1.3 The Pink Wines
ROSÉ
Suitable for light meals and summer lunches and created
through Bleeding; a recovery of juice from red grapes that
have been crushed by their own weight, with the resultant
dainty pink colour. Another method is Maceration; which
entails the first stage of fermentation on the skin, until the
bright red colour is attained before the process goes onto its
next stage. The Rosé taste ranges from sweet, dry to off dry
(resulting in what is known as Blanc De Noir).
Rose is normally paired with desserts, light
meals, salads and cheese platters.
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2. Wines which are defined by the production
technique
The production technique which is used to blend, ferment
and manufacture certain types of wines is commonly
referred to as Design.
2.1 Sparkling Wines
BUBBLIES
DOM PÉRIGNON CAP CLASSIQUE
This is a wine that resulted from an accidental innovation
that came about because of wine exploding while fermenting
in a bottle due to sudden unusual change in seasons. It is
essentially a discovery that was made by an amateur wine
maker, a Benedictine priest who was known as Dom
Pérignon.
Sparkling wine is not to be mistaken for Champagne, the
sparkling wine made in Champagne, France. Forbidden to
use the term Champagne, South Africa has Cap Classique,
which subscribes to the authentic production techniques of
Champagne.
The three selections of grapes – Chardonnay, Pinot Noir
and Pinot Meunier – are fermented separately then blended,
with each of these grapes bringing its unique character;
Chardonnay (long life), Pinot Noir (the rich, fruity flavour),
and Pinot Meunier (the easygoing spiciness).
The second stage is also a point of departure for the three
techniques, namely the Transfer Method, The Tank Method
and the Carbonated Method.
In the Transfer Method, fermentation takes place in the bottle;
In the Tank Method, fermentation occurs in a Pressure
Tank, as the name implies;
In the Carbonated Method, a liqueur is added, and the wine
is then bottled with a metal crown cap seal, where the third
stage of fermentation takes place.
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This is the critical stage that is responsible for the creation
of the perfect bubbles, the coat of arms so to speak, of a
perfect sparkling wine. Then the accumulated pressure from
the yeasty liqueur is released and the metal cap is replaced
with a cork stopper.
2.2 Fortified Wine
PORT
This is yet another accidental innovation, once again
involving a priest, and this because of him adding brandy to
the wine. The key to this type of wine is in the crushing of the
wine, which is preferably achieved through foot stumping.
Once the correct level of sugariness is achieved, the brandy
is added, then the wine is left to mature in a wooden barrel.
The length of the wine’s stay in the barrel will determine the
vintage and, therefore, the requisite grade.
Port is usually paired with Malva Pudding,
Ice Cream and Chocolate Ganache, and
with Maize Meal Custard with Chocolate
Sauce.
2.3 Late Harvest and Natural Sweet
SWEET WINE
These are wines which are first produced in the traditional
manner, from grapes harvested when fully ripe, but whose
fermentation is stopped by adding alcohol. Stopping the
fermentation allows the wine to both increase the alcohol
content and naturally sweet.
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TABLE TALKER
Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
High Tea began as an early evening meal for workers who
might not have eaten all day, so filling sandwiches would
be served; and these were mostly meaty.
Low Tea, on the other hand, was a social affair for the
rich, and was normally served in the lounging area, with
sweets as the base; and this was essentially tea for the not-sohungry.
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Four
African Tea Time
My Tea Moments
Contrary to popular belief, the origin of high tea is related
to the lower class, as opposed to upper class. My earliest
memories of intimate tea moments date back to the sixties,
taking me back to my maternal grandparents’ household;
Ntate Moholo Le Nkgono Hlalele, at Lindley in Free
State.
H
IGH TEA OR LOW TEA?
The Duchess of Bedford, England is the person
who brought the Victorian flair to tea drinking in
the 19th Century when she introduced tea as an
afternoon snack to avoid a growling stomach before dinner.
There are many conflicting stories around the origins of
High Tea and Low Tea. For me, the former is the one that
carries greater logic, and which also puts our tradition of tea
and fat cakes, snoek and liver spread in the category of tea
for the hungry, and boldly calling for the equitable
enjoyment of High Tea.
The secret to that elitist touch to your tea is the infusion of
tea spices, which come in different flavours, with most of
these hailing from Kenya, while some of the spicy flavours
are not completely foreign, like Ginger, for instance.
South Africans are mainly tea drinkers, as opposed to being
known for coffee drinking, and we have a proliferation of
tea farms to ascertain this fact. South Africa is currently
ranked second in the world’s tea market, with India being in
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first place, and Kenya being placed third. South Africa’s
biggest tea farms are found in regions including Limpopo’s
Vhembe District, Kwazulu-Natal’s Nkandla District, the
Eastern Cape’s Lusikisiki District, and in Mpumalanga’s
Noordkaap River area. Significantly, these tea farms are a
good source of income for the rural communities in these
regions.
HOW TO MAKE A GOOD CUP OF TEA
Hot milk: Rinse the cup with hot water and put
a teabag in the cup. In a microwave, warm
20mls of milk, and ensure that the milk does not
overflow, and remove the milk from the oven,
just before it boils. Pour the milk into the tea
cup and let this stand, while boiling the water,
to ensure that the teabag fully diffuses and
releases its distinctive flavour. Add boiled
water, stir and add the remaining cold milk for
the correct colour. Add sugar as desired, then
serve.
Cold milk: Rinse the cup with hot water. Place
a teabag into the cup and add 20mls of hot
water, and allow this to stand, and for the
teabag to diffuse and release its characteristic
flavour. Add milk, stir, then add the rest of the
boiled water. Add sugar as desired, then serve.
AFRICAN HIGH TEA MENU
Mary was a Kenyan colleague at a Bible college. We had last
met and exchanged polite greetings in more than a year,
until she had discovered that I had a restaurant; then we had
reunited and reconnected immediately. She was a wellbalanced
and most graceful hostess, who loved hosting
people at her home. Her menu was a standardised Kenyan
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high tea with Chapattis. Chapattis, which is common to most
of East Africa – especially Uganda, Kenya, Tanzania and
Burundi – and is basically unleavened flat bread that is made
traditionally with low to high percentages of whole meal.
Chapattis is usually cooked on a flat pan or skillet over a
high heat. As she serves the tea, Mary rattles through her
Kenyan tea menu like a seasoned waitress, interestingly
without declaring the ingredients, often declaring – as we
probe for the ingredients – that this can only be done during
the tea tasting. The tea tasting is done with precision as Mary
takes us through the aroma, flavour, palate and health
benefits of the different teas, while also throwing in the
fascinating history of her beloved country, Kenya. High tea
at its best! And we had many of these topical brews with
Mary.
Chapattis: Mix 2 cups of cake flour with half a
cup of warm water, half a cup of coconut oil, 3
tablespoons of margarine or vegetable oil.
Knead the mixture into a pliable dough and
form into large balls. Leave this to rest for about
30 minutes. Roll out the dough into a large
circle, then tear to form a long strip and cut
into circles, then allow the shaped dough to rest
again. Roll out the small circles, flatten these
and fry in hot oil on a heavy based pan. Serve
with your favourite filling.
Masamba Cakes – Malawian Spinach Cake:
Finely chop 1 bunch of spinach and boil. Mix
with 1 cup of cooked corn kernels. Into the
spinach, add 1 raw egg, 1 cup of breadcrumbs,
and pinches of salt and sugar. Mix well and
form into flat cakes. In a separate container,
beat 1 egg and mix with 1 cup of breadcrumbs.
Coat the cakes in flour, then throw in the egg
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and bread crumb mixture. Fry in heated oil
until cooked.
Mandazi – Malawian Fat Cakes: Sift together 4
cups of cake flour with 2 tablespoons of baking
powder and 1 teaspoon of Cream of Tartar. Add
half a cup of sugar and mix in 4 eggs, then add
1 cup of milk to form a firm batter. Drop a
spoonful of batter into hot oil and deep fry, until
this turns brown on both sides. Drain on a
kitchen towel.
Senegalese Pastille: Mix 1 cup of flour with a
pinch of salt, 1 beaten egg and water to form a
stiff dough. Pour 1 tablespoon of oil over the
dough and rest for 30 minutes. Knead the
dough, absorbing the oil. Roll out the dough,
then cut this into strips, and then into squares.
Prepare a filling of 1 grated onion, 2 tablespoons
of chopped Parsley, 1 clove of crushed Garlic, 1
cup cooked of white fish, and add pinches of salt
and pepper. Pour a teaspoonful of filling onto a
pastry square, then seal firmly and deep fry in
hot oil.
Egyptian Tamia Vegetarian Patties: For this
recipe, you will need 1 cup of Chick Peas. Soak
these overnight, then mash the peas,
afterwards. Mix the Chick Peas with 1 teaspoon
each of coriander, dill and parsley and season
with half a teaspoon each of salt, pepper,
ground coriander and cumin. Add 4 chopped
spring onions and a pinch of salt. Form into
patties and deep fry.
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Koeksusters: To prepare this – one of South
Africa’s national dishes – requires one to follow
a procedure similar to that of making Mali’s
sweet fried bread; and the trick of whipping up
the most delicious Koeksusters is to ensure that
these are soft inside crunchy outside.
TEA TASTING
First things first – The Plantation
The Venteco Tea Plantation in Limpopo is wholly-owned by
the Tshivhase community of Vhembe District in Limpopo,
with the Tshivhase Tribal Authority managing on the
people’s behalf. The tea is farmed and selectively handpicked
from the estate and then processed, blended and
packaged in a world-class factory in Mukumbani.
Tea processing factory
Tea-tasting is the process in which a trained taster
determines the quality of a tea. Due to climatic conditions,
landscape, manufacturing process, and different clones of
the Camellia Sinensis plant-tea, the final product may have
vastly differing flavours and appearances.
The flavour characteristics and, indeed the leaf colour, size
and shape are graded, using a specific whimsical language
created by the tea industry to explain the tea’s overall quality.
Once the quality has been tasted and graded, each tea
company places a value on it, based on market trends,
availability and demand.
Preparation for tea-tasting
Your average tea sachet is 3 grams immersed in 400 ml of
water. For your tea tasting, measure out double the amount
of the tea you would normally sip, or you could use half the
amount of water – up to 200 ml – to overemphasise the
flavours which could be hidden in each tea.
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A full, long sip – with double the amount of tea – might not
be perfectly pleasing to the palate, but may serve to make
the flavours more apparent to the tongue. Pour boiled water
over the leaves and cover the top of your mug or teapot to
preserve the heat; then set a timer for 5 minutes, and remove
the tea after the timer has gone off.
Ready to taste
The appearance of the tea leaves gives you an indication of
the quality of the tea. The amount of tea leaves, tips and
wholeness determines the subtle differences and complexity
of the tea, whether the tea is made of tea buds or leaves only,
or a good mixture of both, with shiny, glossy leaves.
Tea tasters transition from tea to tea without the disgusting
spit and mouth-rinsing that is common with wine-tasting,
to quickly compare flavours. One does not have to worry
about the flavour of the previous tea diluting the flavor that
is presently in your mouth. Ninety percent, 90% of what we
taste is due to what we smell.
Think about this as you take a sip, ensuring that the entire
palate is splashed with a mist of tea, while gently and
carefully sucking some air to activate the flavours. Pay
attention to the flavours and take note of how the tea makes
your mouth feel. It might be a creamy coating, a rich broth,
which could be thin and cleansing like warm water; or could
have a slightly bitter sensation on the tongue, as well as a
dry, moist or coated feeling.
Savour the smell of your tea and observe the cup for any
sedimentation, which may indicate a low-quality tea. The
aftertaste, and how the tea makes us feel, determine the
reason why we enjoy drinking tea. So, always be certain to
take note of the aftertaste, which might be different from
the flavour of the tea, itself.
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Describing the taste
Now comes the hard part: taking what you’ve tasted and
putting this into words. The description of what you have
tasted is purely personal and subjective, and there is no right
answer. What you taste is unique, and any adjective you
would like to use to describe your tea is just fine. The
description may fall into the following flavour categories:
Black Teas – the earthy, deep tones of many black teas will
often fall under the Spice categories.
Green Teas – green tea taste green; implying that the raw
vegetable-like profile of Green Tea means that it generally
falls under the Herbal section of the flavour spectrum.
White Teas – incredibly subtle in their flavours, white teas are
light, bright, and often have a tell-tale sweetness about them.
You will often find pleasant floral aspects in white tea, along
with flavours that tend to reside in the Sweet realm of the
flavour spectrum.
Flavored and Herbal Teas – these are blended like an Organic
Blend, and imbued with eleven, 11 different herbs.
The practice of tea-tasting adds to the whims of serving the
well-liked light township meal of tea with fat cakes, or
Magwinya in street patois.
HOW TO SERVE TEA
• Use the tea caddy for your guest to select their
preferred teas;
• Always use a tray with the teapot at the center, so as to
balance the tray;
• Ensure that all tea condiments are on your tray,
including milk, honey, brown sugar, white sugar and
sweeteners;
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• The tea bag tag must hang visibly for the guests to see,
clearly, so as to make informed choices, as it were;
• Set the cup first, with the teaspoon and handle facing
to the right;
• Serve the tea from the guest’s right-hand side.
• Should you open the teabag packet in front of the
guest, pull the sachets out, or allow the guests to
remove these, themselves.
Kenyan Tea: Heat together in a saucepan boil 1
cup of water, one and a half teaspoons of tea
leaves or 1 teabag and one and a half teaspoons
of Tea Masala. Boil for 10 minutes. Add 1 cup of
milk and heat to near boiling. Add to taste 1
teaspoon sugar, then pour this into the tea pot
for serving. If the tealeaves are used, strain the
tea and place these back into the teapot.
Tea Masala: For this type of drink, you will
need 1 teaspoon each of cinnamon, cloves,
cardamom, ginger, nutmeg, saffron and black
pepper.
This is best paired with an African High Tea
Menu of Fat cakes Magwinya platters,
Masamba Cakes, Spinach Cakes, Chapattis,
Mandazi, Senegalese Pastille, Tamia –
Vegetarian Patties, “Potchefstrooms” and
Koeksusters.
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MY TEA MOMENTS...
South African Culinary Heritage
As has been mentioned, already, my earliest memories of
intimate family meals dates to the sixties, taking me back to
my maternal grandparents’ household – of Ntate Moholo le
Nkgono Hlalele in Lindley, Free State. My grandmother was
a supersized woman, with a great presence, and she used to
enjoy walking around, barefooted. Her home was well-kept
and orderly, and there was always plenty to eat. Her sense
of humour, which my mother had inherited, made family
meals fun. Just thinking about that period, I can feel the
warmth and smell of the dried cow dung firewood. Waking
up, the fireplace-cum-cooking stove would be ready, and all
of us – especially the grandchildren – would already be
huddled around the stove, and she would serve us tea,
without discriminating between the children and adults, as
it was commonplace in most other families.
However, later in life, I came to experience the same tea
moments with my own mother, as well as my late brother,
Enoch. Like my grandmother, Enoch was always the first
to wake up, to make the fire and prepare the tea. All of us,
siblings, would then gather together around the “Ellis”
model coal stove; only this time around, we were much
older, and it was a coal stove that we would be huddling
around. While the discussions would be more mature and
profound, but the humour would still be there. Now, being
a grandmother, myself, I am consciously passing on these
tea moments to Aminah, my granddaughter. And, this time
around, it is iced tea with flat bread, which she enjoys
making, as well as partaking in the breaking of the bread
rituals. What remains unchanged is the flat bread we serve
with olive oil and homemade chilli sauce. The tea moments
are coming full circle, indeed!
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A TEA CUP OF COMPASSION
Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
It was the exotic Kenyan tea, as I recall;
With every warm sip,
The grinding pains of my life melted.
With every sip,
Your compassion soothed the agony of my soul.
The world around joyous and blissful;
The sip brought you closer
To the low temperatures of my life.
Deep inside, where not even I could see,
With every sip, you saw and sensed.
As the cup emptied, so did the anguish.
Today, as I gaze at the empty cup,
The leaves of the herbs scrutinise my soul.
Today, as I gaze at the empty cup,
The sand of the tea spice considers my heart.
Today, as I gaze at the empty cup,
Teapots of support and encouragement
Come flooding back.
Today, as I gaze at the empty cup,
My life is warm and the feeling is tasty.
Our life is for others... as yours has been.
Filling up the teapot today the tea is differently flavoured.
As the steam dances out of the cup,
The dance resonates with the rhythm of my soul.
As the smell of herbs dances out of the cup,
The bouquet of aromas resonates with my heart.
My life is warm and the feeling is tasty.
Our life is for others... as yours has been.
A dedication to my late mother, Sebane Hlalele Rakhale.
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My elder sister, Monki and my late brother, Enoch, enjoyed
the attention that our grandparents gave us, as there were
no other children to compete with.
Breakfast was Mageu (a traditional sweet-sour fermented
porridge drink), followed by the fruits which would have
been picked from the trees in the garden. For snack time,
we were given pocket money to buy goodies at the local
corner shop. This, too, was an epic event on its own, as the
owners were relatives of theirs. Therefore, the visit was
accompanied by add-ons.
My grandfather, who was a farmer, spent most of his time
fixing his tractor. I vividly remember the windmill in the
yard, and it was an adventure playing in that space. The
adventures were constantly interrupted by instructions to
chop firewood, to top up the stock for the fireplace-cumcooking
stove.
My grandparents epitomised what a cohesive family stood
for, which was amply exemplified just by how simply they
had lived their lives in the way they did. They quietly
presented the warmth and security of a home, and the joy
of a family, as well as the connection of family at the dinner
table.
We saw them once a year, until my mother had fallen sick –
as I had mentioned, already – with Tuberculosis, and was
subsequently hospitalised for long periods, and – owing to
being sickly and weak – could no longer take us to visit her
dear parents – our beloved grandparents. I was nine years
old then. The only sad detail about these memories is that
my maternal grandparents never came to visit us in Soweto,
especially during the times that my mother was in hospital.
They never came to visit us!
A cup of tea, one child at a time; that is how I remember my
paternal grandmother, Ma-Fume Rakhale. I never knew my
grandfather (he had died long before I was born).
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Unlike Ma-Hlalele, who was a housewife, Ma-Fume was an
entrepreneur of sorts. She used to make a living by selling
hand-woven grass brooms and cow dung bricks – Disu tsa
boloko ba kgomo.
The same as my mother, Ma-Fume’s favourite dish was
sheep’s trotters – ditlhakwana tsa nku. Patiently, she would
do the prep and let the trotters cook until the meat fell off
the bones and would serve these with pap. The recipe on
page 40 is the one she had handed over to my mother, who
had then tweaked the formula – just a little bit – before she
had handed it to me, later.
And, this method – among many others – has stood out
amid my family’s myriad, celebratory dishes. Ma-Fume’s
natural beauty was enhanced by a traditional display of
beauty spots, Ditoba-Toba, what might be referred to as
tattoos, today. In contrast to the ones commonly worn by
Xhosa women, the Basotho traditional facial designs are
permanent. My granny, Ma-Fume, sported one such
“beauty spot” on each cheek, and also had another one
strategically positioned between the eyebrows!
Taking a break from her broom making, Ma-Fume’s meals
were routine. Unlike my maternal granny, with her, we had
to come one at a time for our meals. I cannot remember the
order of the “queue marshalling” – like they normally do in
the minibus taxi ranks to keep order, so to speak – but I do
remember asking her why we could not eat together. And,
to this curious query, her response would be: “To save on
the washing of dishes!”
Nkgono Ma-fume always came to visit us, and those were happy
moments!
My mother came from a warm family environment. My
father, on the other hand, came from the harsh reality of a
polygamous marriage, with an ever absent “rolling stone” of
a father. My grandmother, Ma-Fume, had to raise her four
boys (my father and his siblings) on her own, selling
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brooms. She never even had a decent home as the second
wife. Yet, on the other hand, his perennially absent father
seemingly inspired and motivated my father to become a
devoted husband to my mother, and a doting father to us,
his children. The only thing that really had missed, glaringly,
in my family, were the regular, mirth-filled family meals.
We never ate together as a family!
It is regrettably my father’s legacy that had dominated the
running of his own home without practicing the tradition of
family dinners, and – tragically, by extension – no family
talks. This had incapacitated me, later in life, as I could not
talk, and had – for a long time – bottled up just too many
things, and deep-set feelings, many of which had later
manifested with outbursts, whenever I was angry. Like so
many families, mine did not equip and empower me with
communication skills. It is for this reason that I wrote the
book in a conversational style; to encourage families to talk
and use family meals as a platform to ventilate, celebrate
small and big feats, alike; and to plan, commiserate; and just
come closer, each time. However, the seed of family dinners
was firmly planted in my subconscious mind. As soon as I
started earning money of my own, starting with working as
a tea lady at an engineering company, the first item of
furniture I bought was a six-sitter dining table and four
garden chairs.
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TABLE TALKER…
I AM THAT PERSON
Author Unknown
Remember me?
I am the person who goes into a restaurant, sits down,
patiently, and waits
While the waitron does everything but take my order.
Remember me?
I am the person who goes into the restaurant and stands,
quietly, while the waitron finishes their telephone
conversation.
Remember me?
I am the one who drives into your eatery,
And waits, patiently, while the usher finishes reading
Their text message.
Yes, you might say; I am a good guy,
But, do you know who else I am?
I am the person who never comes back,
And is amused to see you spending thousands of rands
Every year, to get me into your restaurant,
When I was there, in the first place…
And, all you had to do was acknowledge me,
And show me a little courtesy.
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Five
Front Of House
Waitrons Training
Manual
Our natural inclination is opposed to serving. This chapter
is dedicated to Amos, the first waiter together with whom I
had worked at the Rio Sol Portuguese Restaurant, which
was situated on Grayston Drive in Sandton in 2005. Amos
epitomised service excellence.
G
ROUND RULES
It is important to know the history of the
establishment. The description of the
restaurant must include the sitting, décor,
ambience, food quality, portions and the prices.
Clothing – The Basics: The prescribed uniform must be
worn by staff members at all times. Make-up is allowed for
female employees, but this must be applied conservatively.
While jewelry is allowed for female employees, this should
be kept at a reasonable minimum, and – for men – wedding
bands are permitted. Employees should ensure that their
uniform is clean, and that no offensive odours are present.
This includes their bags, satchels and even their clothes.
Ideally, a black belt goes with black shoes. And, it is
obligatory that black shoes should be worn by everyone, all
the time.
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Kitchen staff and cleaners: Men are supposed to wear
two-piece overalls, grillers-grill pants and griller t-shirts, and
they must also wear closed toe-cap protective shoes at all
times. Ladies, too, are expected to wear one-piece overalls,
closed toe-cap protective shoes at all times. The trainees
must also wear black shoes, and their requisite uniforms
should have name tags indicating that they are trainees.
Name badges are compulsory for everyone.
The employees’ nails must be short and clean. The ladies
who use nail polish must ensure that this is clear, or
transparent. Everyone should use deodorants to minimise
body odours. Men must be clean-shaven, daily, without fail.
Our hair must be washed and combed every day. Writings
on the skin, especially tattoos, are prohibited; and, also, no
tongue, eye or nose rings or studs are allowed.
Cellular phones – The Protocol: Cellphones are not
allowed while the restaurant workers are on duty, and it is
advisable that they should switch off their cellphones while
on duty. If an urgent phone call is expected, management
should be notified in advance.
Visitors are not allowed – especially in the kitchen – unless
their anticipated presence has been arranged in advance,
with front shop management. Friends and families sitting at
tables should be treated as guests. We must respect nonsmoking
guests. There should refrain from smoking while
on duty.
Equipment: Employees will need to have, on their persons
or within easy reach, three working pens, one dry cloth each,
one wet cloth each, a working cigarette lighter, a float of
R50.00 notes and coins, a docket book, and a wine opener.
All uniforms must be worn with dignity, especially the
waitrons’ uniforms. Waiters must be delegated a table to
experience the service during their break at a designated
eating area.
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The First Aid kit should be easily accessible and fully
equipped. If an emergency arises, employees should report
to management, and no one should try to be a hero and try
to attend to the situation, themselves.
Management is trained to deal with such emergency
situations. Respect the business and take care of it as you
would your own life, and the business will take care of you,
in return. Life is organic; therefore, it will give you back what
you have put into it.
Way of Thinking and Attitude: With the right frame of
mind, everything is possible; and your attitude must be right,
at all times. Mutual respect is crucial in any relationship; and
if we are all natured enough, this will be of great help to all
of us in the hospitality business.
In the hospitality industry, we do not serve food, we serve
people. Good service will ensure that guests come back
again, and again; and that they will be happy and proud
enough to recommend our business to others in their wider
networks, and – as such – help to grow the business for our
collective benefit.
Answering the Telephone: It is important to be polite
and friendly on the phone. Professionalism needs to be
conveyed during the call, as well. It is important to refer all
calls for bookings to the floor manager.
Table Manners: The waitron must always remain calm,
even when the restaurant is busy, and never be tempted to
run, as this might add to more chaos and confusion.
Stretching over the tables to remove plates and glasses is
not allowed. Instead, waitrons are advised to move or walk
around the table and remove the plates and glasses, with
ease and without any inconvenience to the patrons. If the
table is not accessible, simply ask the guests to pass the
plates and glasses.
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Guests appreciate a cleared and uncluttered table, and –
half the time – will always be happy to help in this regard.
Employees should note that eating must be done at
allocated times, and never off the guests’ plates. It is rude
and disrespectful to gossip about customers among
ourselves, even when we think our language is foreign to
them. Spread yourselves among tables to avoid chit-chats.
HANDLING GUEST COMPLAINTS
Do Not Panic or Aggravate the Guest: The first and
important thing to remember is that the guest is an ordinary,
fellow human being, and that you do not have to panic while
fielding a complaint. Try to listen intently as are taking note
of the problem; and you should try your utmost not to argue
or make any excuses.
Often, people want to be heard. The ability to say, “I am
sorry,” is a virtue that you should practice within and around
the close family members. If you cannot say, “Sorry” to your
colleagues, or to your child, brother, sister, mother or father,
then there is no way you can say, “Sorry” to an angry
stranger.
That is a virtue you learn from home. Apologise and try and
solve the problem on your own; and, if the guest insists on
calling a manager, oblige the patron and consult someone
of a senior rank. Each step of the way, obliging our guests,
respectfully, shows that we take our business seriously.
Be Sincere and Remove the Problem: Ask the guest if
you may remove the problem, if it is the food (and
everything that accompanies the meal, including the cutlery)
or the drinks, and replace these, immediately, without
offering a free dessert. As a waiter, you have no authority to
do so. Be sincere in your handling of the problem, and
inform the floor manager.
Establish the Real Source of the Problem: We should
strive to establish the real source of the problem, so that
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preventative or improvement-related measures can be
undertaken. If you understand yourself as a waitron and
have been providing good service to your guests, you will
not run away; but you will be able to provide an amicable
solution.
Remember: life is organic; and when you are just in your service, justice
will prevail.
Keep the Guest Informed, at all times: Keep the guest
posted regarding how the situation is being resolved, and
make sure that the problem is ultimately rectified, as had
been promised.
Close with After Sale Service; as you would normally do,
daily; and strive to maintain an impeccable consistency.
CREATING THE AMBIANCE
Handle the money, credit, debit cards with respect.
Never ever be tempted to steal or commit fraud; because –
sooner or later – you will be caught. Love conquers all.
Personal happiness and inner peace will undoubtedly flow
into your social and work spaces, so be humble both at
work, at home and even at play – at all times .
Make sure that you handle yourself well, and strive to serve
yourself properly before you serve others; being mindful to
handle their welfare impeccably, as it were. In other words,
you should take care of personal business, and make this a
priority because how you feel sets the tone for your space.
The restaurant depends on the waitrons, both individually
and collectively, to create a warm, loving and a truly homely
environment, no end.
Teamwork is the key to an establishment’s success; so, as
you walk around, you should also look around, and be ready
– always – to fix, clear and fill up the tables with whatever it
is that may be missing. Success is built on great teamwork.
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Teamwork is divine: when God created the universe, he
said, “Let us, let us, let us…”
There are many more lessons of teamwork that we can take
from sacred scriptures. The same excellent service to the
inside, must be given to the outside, an area that tends to be
neglected, and this is unacceptable. Cordial communication
with the guest influences the atmosphere; so this affable,
respectful approach must be made an absolute priority.
A guest who is left in the dark and made to wait for a long
time for their food becomes a disgruntled guest. Guests do
not mind waiting a bit longer for their drinks or food if you
inform them, timeously, and courteously, at all times.
DAILY ROUTINES
Starting a Shift: Sign in, receive and comprehend your
respective duties, check your working area, plan your duties
for the day, do your job, unstintingly until your shift ends,
and carry on if there are overlapping tables, or your
incoming colleagues seem to be overwhelmed.
Briefing session with floor manager entails: Take proper
note of various specials, veggies of the day, out of stock
items and recommendations, managers on shift, Subject to
Quotation (SQ) prices for the day, incentives and sales to
qualify for a shift. Set out bookings and know the table
numbers and areas.
Inspect your serving area for wobbly tables and adequate
spacing. Set all the tables for business. Steam and polish the
glasses and cutlery. Ensure that each table is properly,
notably the sett-fork and knife on the left; Wine glass on the
right, and with salt and pepper on the table. Remember the
toothpicks and serviettes. By the way, the clearing of tables
is continuous, right through the shift.
Be courteous and send a message if you are going to be late,
and if you are likely to be absent, you should call four hours
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in advance. When you have bookings for your area, you
must know what time the patrons would be expected to
arrive. You should also, most importantly, make sure that
you are at the door to seat the guests, personally, and
proudly so.
When there is no hostess in the restaurant, it is the duty of
the waitrons to welcome and sit the guests. No guest must
be passed or handed over to another waitron. You should
seat the guest and let them know who their waitron would
be. Pull the chair out for the ladies at the table. And be sure,
always, to open the menu first before you hand it over to
the guest.
Attending to the Tables: The first thing the waitrons
should do when they get to the table is to politely announce
themselves to their guests. And, each time after that, when
the waitrons reach the table, they must announce
themselves, by saying – for an example – “Excuse me…”,
or by announcing, “Sorry to interrupt…”
Never split an order. Ask the guests when they want to hear
the recommendations. Be sincere in your selling. Tell them
about items that are on promotion and the different
incentive items, if, and whenever the guests enquire.
Sincerity should be your up-selling tool.
Up-sell to the advantage of the guest; never to the advantage
of the waitron. The money rewards will happen without
being deceitful or insincere. Go through the wine list with
your guests, and even the children’s menu, if necessary.
Notify the guests of what might not be in stock, long before
they would start ordering drinks, and offer
recommendations of whatever else they could order from
the available stock, instead.
If guests are not drinking wine, remove the wine glasses
from the table, duly taking these by the stem. If a guest asks
for brandy, enquire politely as to what type this might be;
and whether this should be a single, or double? Use a tray
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to serve drinks, keeping in mind that the bottom half of the
glass is the waitron’s half, and that the top half of the glass
is the guest’s half.
Ask the guest if you could pour the drinks for them. This is
a courteous gesture that most guests enjoy, immensely, and
it make it easier for you to clear the table off empties,
immediately. When placing the glass on the table, in front
of a guest, announce what you are setting down. This
prevents any miscommunication from happening at your
table. When removing empties from the table, ask before
doing so. Also, ask if you can replace one glass or bottle
with another.
Taking Drink Orders: Ask permission to take the order
at the table. It is good manners to ask the ladies first.
Always write the order down, even if it is one time.
Connect with your guests, making eye contact as you speak
with them. Confirm the order with the guest. Enter the
order in the computer and check the order before pressing,
“Order”.
Follow-up the order at the bar and compare the drinks with
what has been written on the docket. Ensure that these are
poured in the correct glasses, and whether your order is
complete. Never split an order. Announce the drinks at the
table, thus confirming that each guest has received the
correct drink.
Serving Alcohol Drinks with a Mix: A single tot is served
in a highball glass. A double tot in a zombie glass unless
stated otherwise by the guests, themselves. Any liquor
served on the rocks, should be served in a tumbler, unless
otherwise stated by your guest. Drinks must be taken to the
table as soon as possible, to maintain their serving
temperature. Drinks served in superior tots; that is those
drinks that are ordered in single tot each, but they are
served in double tot glasses, zombie glasses are Sherry, Port
and Cinzano. Mineral water is served with a slice of lemon,
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never with ice (unless the guest stipulates otherwise);
otherwise, this defeats the purpose of drinking mineral
water.
SERVING WINE
Presenting the Wine: Follow the same procedure as taking
all other ordering procedures. Always carry your wine on a
tray. Present the wine to the guest who ordered the wine. If
the guests ordered white wine, find out if they would like an
ice bucket and extra ice with wine. The guest is given the
opportunity to confirm that it is the correct bottle of wine
he/she ordered and feel the temperature of the wine. If the
guest is happy with the wine, ask if you may open the bottle
for him or her.
Open the Wine at the Table: This is a delicate process the
wine opener will make it easier though. Use the small knife
to open the seal that covers the cork. A sharp knife will cut
the seal away cleanly, make sure your knife stays sharp. Put
the cut off seal in your pouch, do not leave it on the table.
Use the corkscrew to pull the cork out of the bottle. When
screwing it into the cork, make sure that you that you place
the corkscrew in the middle of the cork.
Keep the wine bottle in your hand, and do not place it on
the table. A safe place to hold the bottle is on your thigh.
Keep the bottle still and turn the corkscrew. The coil must
be turned into the cork, till just before the last coil. You now
use the third part of the wine opener – the bottle opener.
Place this on the side of the bottle, and – if it does not fit –
play around with your screw, and continue turning this
around, pushing in a little bit deeper or screw it out a little.
Take the bottle by the neck and lift out the cork. If it appears
that the cork is about to break, turn the screw deeper into
the cork. If the cork breaks, do not panic and run away from
the table. Just use the screw and turn it into the remaining
cork. Pull the cork out the gently. Place the cork on the table
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or put it in your pouch. If you have difficulty with opening
wine bottles ask your manager or colleague to assist you at
your table.
The Tasting and Pouring Procedure: When a gentleman
orders wine at your table, the following procedure applies:
Then you present the wine to the gentleman. Ask if he
would like to first taste the wine. For tasting, you pour about
1.5cm of wine into his glass and then step back from the
table so that he can taste the wine. Turn the bottle to
prevent spillage. Do not pick up the glass from the table
when you pour the wine.
Why do guests taste wine before being served? They do this
to make sure that the wine is not corked. That is,
ascertaining the air did not come into the bottle through the
cork, as this causes the wine to taste off. It happens to both
the red and white wines. So the guest does not taste wine to
decide whether they like it or not.
Therefore, you must ask his permission before you open the
bottle. Then you should ask him if he is happy with the
wine. If he is, you then ask if you may also pour for his
guests. You pour for the ladies first, then the other
gentleman or gentlemen sitting at the table; and, lastly, you
pour for the host or the guest who would have ordered the
wine (unless otherwise stated by the host).
This must be done in an anticlockwise direction. If a lady
orders wine, the procedure changes. You follow the same
wine presenting procedure as has been shown above. You
then ask the lady if she would like to first taste the wine. If
she says, “Yes”, you then follow the same tasting
procedures as has been stated above.
Ask if you may also pour for her guests. If you have been
permitted, you then pour for the other ladies; then for the
lady who would have ordered the wine and then, only then,
for the gentlemen accompanying the ladies. This must be
done in an anti-clockwise direction. If the lady who has
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ordered the wine does not want to taste the wine and she
nominates the gentleman sitting next to her, the pouring
procedure stays the same as has been indicated above.
For Red Wine, pour half a glass, and for White Wine,
three quarters of a glass, and always leave a space for ice.
If you feel that there seems to be a need to top up a guest’s
glass, ask before executing this task. When the bottle is
empty, remove it from the table and ask if the guests would
like a refill. If the guest orders a second bottle of the same
wine, present the taster with a new tasting glass. Never mix
two bottles of wine in one glass, unless the guest asks you
to do this. And, if the guest orders a different bottle of wine,
you must present all the people at the table with new glasses.
Serving Sparkling Wine or Cap Classique: Champagne
is bottle-fermented and is only produced in the Champagne
region in France. Our equivalent to Champagne is Cap
Classique, and it is also bottle fermented and is only made
in South Africa.
When making sparkling wine, different procedures are
followed. Sugar is added to wine and carbonated, thus
adding bubbles. This is an ideal method is for purposes of
mass production.
Serving sparkling wine differs from serving wine; the same
ordering process applies though. Take the sparkling wine
glasses to the table before you present the table with the
sparkling wine. Ask if the guests would like to have an ice
bucket. You must also present the bottle to the guest who
ordered the sparkling wine. Sparkling wine bottles must be
held at the bottom, with your thumb holding the bubble.
Sparkling wine does not get tasted unless the guest
specifically asks to taste it. From the host or guest who
would have ordered the sparkling wine, you pour for the
ladies first, then the gentlemen and lastly the host. This must
be done in an anti-clockwise direction. You must lift the
glass from the table and tilt the glass when pouring, thus
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minimising the bubbles. Sparkling Wine or Cap Classic gets
filled half way. Ask each guest if they would like to have
some sparkling wine; never assume.
SERVING FOOD
Starters: Always recommend appetisers so that the guests
are allowed to get the full dining experience. Suggest two
different dishes, only, and make the recommendations
before the guests order main course.
Recommend a salad or bread for the table if the guests do
not want appetisers. Before the food arrives, take the
serviettes, side plates, and finger bowls for hand-handled
meals like Maotwana, or Chicken Trotters. Remember to take
correct cutlery; like dish-up spoons for salad orders, snail
forks for snails, mussels or crumbed mushrooms orders.
After you would have submitted the order through the
computer, confirm the order with the coordinator. Check
with the coordinator how long the order will take, to ensure
that the kitchen is preparing your order so that you can time
your tasks perfectly. You should always remember to offer
your guests condiments. After the second bite, ask the
guests if they are enjoying their food; not while their mouths
are full; and always be specific, by enquiring, for an example,
“Are you enjoying the chicken livers?’’
Always top up their drinks just before you bring the food to
the table. Connect with your guests and make eye contact as
you speak to them, as this shows that you care. Clear the
table as soon as possible. After the guests have finished
enjoying their appetisers, announce yourself, yet again, and
ask if you may remove their empty plates. Place clean cutlery
on the table. You may take the starter and entrée at the same
time and find out from the guests when they would want
the entrée to follow. Order the starter and main on a
different docket. Each table differs in the spacing they
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prefer between starter and the main meal. Learn to read
your guests and, if not sure, please ask.
Main Course: Recommend two entrées, always politely
asking relevant questions about meat preparation; like,
medium, medium rare or rare and sauces; atchaar, chilli
sauces, beetroot, tomato and onion, fish-lemon butter,
garlic butter or Tartar Sauce.
As with the appetisers, bring out, and place the relevant
cutlery; like fish or steak knives, dish-up spoons, side plates,
finger bowls and condiments. Orders are not to be split.
These must all come out, at once. It is the waitron’s
responsibility to memorise the orders.
Announce the different meals before you place these in
front of the guest; remembering, clearly, in your mind, as to
who had ordered what. This will prevent confusion and, if
a wrong plate of food is placed in front of a wrong guest, it
can be detected, early, and be rectified, most professionally.
After the second bite, you should ask if your guests are
enjoying their meal, like Mogodu, for instance. Ensure that
the guests are enjoying their meals, without you
disappearing from their sight; so that, if they need
something, they must be able to draw your attention.
Dessert: Offer your guests dessert; do not assume that they
have had a look at the dessert menu. Guests do not always
look at the dessert menu; it is your responsibility to promote
the dessert menu. If the guest orders a Don Pedro or Irish
coffee, always offer a double tot of liquor. If they order tea,
make sure the tea is brewed properly.
Presenting the bill: Wait for the guest to ask for the bill,
you are not allowed to take the bill without the guest asking
for it. Present the bill to the person that has asked for it.
Inside the folder, put a pen, bill, and a mint for each of the
guests. Step back from the table, but keep your eyes on the
proceedings. Once the guest has put the card or money into
the folder, thank them and take the folder off the table.
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Waitrons get a shift salary which is based on sales, not tips,
and that is where the focus should be: sales. The best service
comes from waitrons that rely on their salary, based on sales
performance. Take the change to the guest, no matter how
minimal this may be. It is bad manners not to take back the
change to the guest.
After sales service: Continue to serve your guests until they
leave and accompany them to the door. After greeting your
guests at the front door, you are supposed to clean and set
the table to prepare for the next sitting. Notify the hostess
about the table number and in which section of the
restaurant the open table is.
15 Key Points Drill
• Greet all guests within thirty seconds of them walking
in;
• Take drinks order promptly;
• Bar order not to take more than three minutes to
deliver;
• Bread to be delivered with drinks;
• Clear the table of any unnecessary glasses and cutlery;
• Take food order;
• Process the order promptly;
• Follow up your order in the kitchen;
• Double-check orders and table numbers in the kitchen;
• Follow up service at the table without irritating clients;
• Maintain the table by clearing your table;
• Sell to the needs of the guest;
• Present the bill;
• Give back the change;
• Bid the guests a hearty farewell at the door.
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We Have a Table...
My waiter notifies the chef as soon as he has processed the
bar order in the system. Then it is back to the table to deliver
the drinks, which must be served swiftly. Referring to
patrons as “a table” as opposed to “Guests” holds a
concealed meaning in the restaurant business.
A table is piece of furniture with a flat top, supported on
legs. On the other hand; to “table” something is to put it
forward for discussion in a meeting. We also understand
that a person can only attend a meeting whenever they have
been invited.
As a diner in the restaurant, the patron is a guest and the
restaurant owner and staff are your hosts, and a seat at the
table is a notable, favoured space, while the character of the
restaurant sets the tone for the deliberations. Both the guest
and restaurant owner are not necessarily perfect. Before the
waiter makes that familiar announcement to the kitchen
staff for the first sitting, we have a table…, the kitchen daystaff
has already been on duty for three to four hours,
preparing the restaurant for service.
The starter team is on extreme alert, as they must ensure
that the appetisers are served, promptly, thus providing a
sneak preview of what the entrée is going to be; and,
simultaneously giving the patron something with which to
kill the hunger pangs for a couple of minutes while waiting
for the entrée.
The Sous Chef – in the meantime – would be busy with the
“prep” and making sure that the serving pots and plates are
meticulously clean and warm, and also ensuring that the
special eating utensils accompanying the meals and
condiments are ready.
My favourite star of the show on this symbolic conveyor
belt, though, or the lead actor – so to say – is the griller. He
sets the tone of the order; a few minutes before the meat or
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fish is ready, the griller is often heard calling out, “Si ya
phuma” – isiZulu for, “We are ready to go!”
At once, the Sous Chef rings the first bell, for the waiter to
collect the serving equipment, condiments and a myriad
other paraphernalia that is peculiar to their shared
environment. As if in chorus, the plates and cutlery start
rattling; the vegetables and starch are plated, making room
for the griller to place the masterpiece of the menu.
“A’sa’mbeni!” – “let’s go!” – the chef calls out, again, to
hasten the order. Now, the meat or fish is plated, and now,
the second bell has already gone off, and the waiters come
in for their orders. The waiters first verify and inspect the
orders. Depending on the outcome and timing of the
orders, they express their gratitude to the chef as he
gracefully takes the food to the eagerly-waiting table
(patrons).
Compliments to the chef will only come with the clearing of
the dishes. As a means of quality control, the chef also
monitors the leftovers and breakfast bags. This exercise
provides some insight when reviewing the menu and
planning for the future. As the griller cools down his stove
and cleans it in preparation for the next orders, the salad
team commences to plate the dessert orders. Dessert is the
culmination of any menu and is always pleasurable to
prepare.
Etiquette principles are standard, whether in a public or
private arena, although, as a paying guest, you remain
accountable on how you behave and your attitude plays a
very important role on how the dining experience turns out,
eventually. The owner has the right to decide who is
welcome or not, hence the message:
“Right of Admission Reserved” – and the sign is a gentle
reminder for the patrons to carry themselves in the same
way as they would if they were invited to any other place,
where decency tops the list of prerequisite behavioural
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patterns. Restaurant owners would, therefore, always wish
to host pleasant guests, who would, in return, enjoy the art
of fine dining; and even wish to come back, and – in an
interdependent manner – both parties are ideally expected
to go to great lengths to create this atmosphere. However,
just like in your private life and any other possible setting,
in general, there will always be flaws; and it is “Okay” to
expect that nothing can ever be perfect; it is only God who
is perfect. Where there is possible conflict, a clear-headed
restaurateur will intervene, and do the right thing and
because of competence they will also be able to screen off,
and deal with any perceived deceitfulness. If you never want
to come back, be warned; we, too, might not want you back,
and the feeling might be mutual. Only God is perfect, not
you nor the restaurant owner.
THE MYTH OF PERFECTION
“This human vision, this quest for more, bigger, faster and better is not
the perfection in God’s dictionary. Muslim carpet weavers come closer
to the ideal of Godly perfection. They deliberately incorporate a flaw
into each work of art that they create. Only God Is Flawless.
So, they do not strive for flawlessness, they strive instead, for beauty.”
– Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu from Made for
Goodness.
“I am a perfectionist”, we listen to people assert incessantly.
Restaurateurs and their patrons are notably privy to this
nuance, and the restaurant itself is an ideal nourishing
setting. How, then, can we achieve style and grace without
the façade of being perfect?
Back in my working days, I had just had a successful
conference for a pharmaceutical company for which I was
working as a medical representative. Within the first hour of
my four-hour drive back to Johannesburg, I received a
phone call. The pharmacy assistant wanted to know the
number of cups, saucers and side plates that were brought
in for the event. After politely indicating that I had no idea,
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I enquired why he was asking me, and he said, “Well,
because you are the caterer.”
Earlier that morning, the chief pharmacist had raised her
concern about the floor plan and flow of the event. The
caterer and event coordinator did not seem to understand
her, she had confided. Even though my portfolio was
outside of these logistics (mine was conference facilitator
and pharmaceutical product detailing), she asked if I could
intervene.
I had been asked to intervene and ended up doing the job
so well, (a job that had nothing to do with my designation,)
that the hospital staff had thought I was the caterer. “The
need to be perfect had turned me into a control extremist.
What a control fanatic I had become,” it had suddenly
struck me.
On another occasion, still working as a medical
representative, I had submitted a budget proposal for one
of the key accounts that I was managing. And, as a follow
up, I had asked my boss as to when I could expect the
budget to be approved.
“Well, Eunice, with you, it will be immediate,” he had
replied. “You must understand that I trust you so much that,
even if you ask me to put my head on a block to chop it off
and promise to put it back again, I think I will do it because
I believe in you,” my boss had added, jokingly.
This was the most petrifying thing anyone had ever said to
me, about me, and was even spine-chilling. I now knew,
without a doubt, that I was consumed by the need to be
perfect. “This does not feel right,” I had thought to myself,
and continued to live my life the same way for the next ten
to fifteen years, and I have been executing this in a most
impressive manner, always, I may add. I have always done
what most people with concealed issues do; which is also
said to be an exaggerated social behaviour.
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I never had my birthday celebrated as a child, as an adult it
has always been in the intimacy of my children.
Approaching the big “five-oh”, 50, I suddenly felt like
having a party, and the thought was exciting.
On the morning of the party, and already in a celebratory
mood, I was going about the weekend preparation routine
for the hectic restaurant lunch sitting, attending to a client.
This client was one of our service providers and a person I
had also come to be friends with.
In the middle of our conversation, my husband juts in and
talks to me, and does this in an awfully discourteous
manner. As I reviewed the disconcerting moment, I
suddenly realised this was a common scene in the privacy of
our home. But this was the first time it had happened in
public.
A while back before this disturbing occurrence, one of our
best and most senior waiters had a misunderstanding with a
client, and I was called in, to intervene. I cannot recall the
details of the discussion, but I remember – clearly – the final
response and exit of the patron.
Calling me to the side as soon as the waiter had left, he had
snapped: “I am a regular patron of this establishment and my dining
experience here has always been pleasant, and the food has always been
enjoyable. However, I am disappointed in you as the owner and
manager in the fact that your employee speaks so disrespectfully to you
in front of me, the customer. I want you to know that I am seriously
considering my patronage.”
After the patron had said this, he stormed out.
“I have lost my self-worth and dignity,” I had realised,
suddenly, with deep sadness! After the client (service
provider) had left, I did something completely out of my
element.
In a composed manner, I had requested a meeting with my
husband in the office, during the restaurant break, and
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before the dinner sitting. Then, politely, I had explained the
new terms of reference, chief among which was respect. We
negotiated a new and better way of speaking to each other.
It was completely out of character for me to speak up and
face up, boldly, to the matters at hand. “It must be turning
fifty,” I had said to myself, reflecting.
Thankfully, this incident had forced me to have the long
overdue heart-to-heart talk with myself, and to openly
examine and make an inventory of significant events in my
life (both good and bad).
The journey took another ten years before I could finally
find myself at age sixty. I had to be real and honest, and step
out of denial. I was in an unhealthy situation, and had been
for a long time. This courageous account took me out of the
“blaming” mode, and had enabled me to become
accountable for my part in all the various occurrences in my
life, and in how I had turned out to be the person that I had
become. The good character traits that came through this
particular audit have since cushioned and saved me from
drowning. As I got rid of the negative character traits, my
life began to be refurbished, using the reformed traits as
building blocks.
Unresolved issues breed resentment and anger, resulting in
unexplained violent outbursts, often leaving those around
you, baffled. Sadly, I had become that person!
Obsession with covering up – on the other hand – clouds
reasoning. Usually, the results are disastrous; especially
when one tends to neglect critical matters, ignoring
concerns of those who love and care for you. You get
caught up in the realm of scheming and deceit. As you
engage in this dance (dancing with the devil, so to speak),
then – slowly – your personality changes, and you become
that which you had always been opposing. To the outside
world, you look crazy. To numb the pain, you overindulge;
this may be expressed through food, alcohol, prescription
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or over-the-counter medication, materialism or anything
that gives you solace. The addiction is subtle and appealing.
In the restaurant environment, you look amazing as you
wine and dine in the name of entertainment, while skillfully
hiding the alcohol abuse in the name of things looking
picture-perfect.
In the realm of unattended matters things are not really what
they seem to be; yet, life must go on, as per normal. The
daily strife is not so much dealing with whatever has
transpired, but – rather – dealing with the burden of putting
up a façade. Of course – sooner or later – like an abscess,
the unresolved matters create a wound that bursts and
contaminates the life of the many innocent people around
you, making them casualties of your life, left to live life
functioning from the position of being wounded.
The two life-changing incidences above brought my walls
of perfection crumbling down and left me in the reality of
my imperfect life. When we cease to try and be perfect, the
conversations become authentic, and life goes on with all
the flaws in situ.
To create a perfect environment, we get trapped and buried
in the notion that more of anything is better: more glasses,
more cutlery, and more serviettes. When we are distracted
from the basics of being hospitable, we get concerned about
the insignificant and menial. We need a knife! A knife to
chop small things; a knife to chop big things, a knife with
pointed blades, square-edged knives, lightweight and heavy
weight knives, the list goes on and on. A knife for every
ingredient in the kitchen. We concern ourselves with things
that do not really matter, to make the business work;
ignoring what really needs to be fixed, like the “internals” of
our personal lives, which we bring into the business. The
systems will not fall in place when there is no order in our
personal space.
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In Fourways, Johannesburg in the hub of entertainment and
eateries, snuggles an elegant, petite coffee shop, and the
place is buzzing, which is typical of a Friday evening. The
smell of coffee is alluring, but – sadly – a cup of coffee is
not an option for me.
I was there for a different reason. I had been invited to see
if I could offer any support to the owner. This was the last
day of trade, and, by the next morning, the place would be
closed down. However, as it is often the case with
restaurants that are about to close down, there was no sign
whatsoever to indicate the calamity that was brewing.
Indeed, the restaurant closed the following day; as if it had
not been trading just a few hours before; and taking no
prisoners.
A few kilometers away from the shopping centre, at another
entertainment hub amid the serene suburban homes, nestles
a steakhouse, best known for many a fine dining
masterpiece. The owners share with me the devastating
news that the establishment might not be available to
service the Christmas patronage. As we are talking, a regular
guest interrupted, complimenting them on the fine dining
experience, and also confirming her booking for Sunday
lunch. Over drinks I spent time with the couple after their
cash-up routine, as they share the heartache over their
seemingly delightful little gem, but which was soon to be no
more – another restaurant going down, and taking no
prisoners, once again.
My heart goes out to them as I am taken back to my days at
my own restaurant on Grayston Drive in Sandton,
Johannesburg; but I couldn’t offer any advice. One must
understand that, while I am also still caught up in the façade
of the business, nothing I would have said would have made
any sense. So, I didn’t even try, but I had continue to offer
myself for emotional support.
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As I do research for my publishing work, I am always on
the lookout for places where I can have a quiet meal and a
glass of wine, while I am doing my research. I found one –
a child-friendly eatery within a walking distance of my
imperfect life – and the manager and supervisor warm up to
my patronage.
I am an easy guest because I work on my laptop while my
granddaughter, Aminah, plays across the playroom, not
concerned about the intricacies of restaurant rituals. But the
irregularities in this place distress me; more so because the
owner never comes to the restaurant, the manager tells me,
relaxed and confident.
My heart sinks with each visit to the eatery, as I notice the
depth and extent of various misdeeds, indicating that the
owner is being taken to the cleaners, with shrinkages and
point of sale maneuvers being part of the nightmare. I end
up telling myself that, by the time the owner makes it right
and gives the business equal attention with his other
restaurant, it will be on the eve of closing – yet another
restaurant shut-down looming. My heart grieves silently for
the owner. Eventually, as I could not take it any longer, so I
had stopped patronising this restaurant, angry with myself
for being helpless.
A restaurant is more of a space than a place, and when we
are upgrading, we tend to concentrate more on the
equipment and furniture, rather than focusing on enhancing
the space. It is for this reason that most restaurants’ die
while they are at the peak of their expected performance;
new furniture and all! Because, in fact – besides the furniture
and equipment – nothing else changes. When we were
converting the restaurant from a predominant Portuguese
theme to a chic, stylish place with a jazzy feel, the brief from
the consulting team was to, “Remove, remove, and remove
some more!” Even though the Portuguese-themed walls
were vibrant and dazzling with the designer’s
recommendation of “less is more”, the walls and
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decorations had to go; and, ultimately, table setting pieces
were fewer and the menu unambiguous. With these changes
in place, the focus moved away from the whims of the
paraphernalia, to food and beverages. Once that area was
given the focus it had deserved, the guests’ attention moved
to the music, which had become more relaxed and pleasant.
The old kitchen equipment was donated to Naledi High
Heritage School in Soweto for cooking meals for the
learners.
TABLE TALKER
For the front of house to deliver, the back of the house’
systems need to be in place, and for everyone to be at their
posts. God has created and wired us differently, and has
imbued us with unique skills and capabilities. Our abilities
are the natural talents which we have been born with. Some
people have the natural ability with words, so they make
good salespeople. Other people have a naturally strong
physical ability, so they can – almost effortlessly – do heavy
work. Still, others are good in artistic creativity and skills.
When we understand our assorted giftedness as gifts from
God, we will be able to use our crafts for the greater good,
without feeling that one is more important than the other.
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Six
Back Of House
The Heart Of The
Restaurant
Most prominent chefs are self-made; yet, to be able
to compete in the economy of the country, the
industry still needs to produce well-trained
professionals.
“Chefs can make an impact on people’s lives with their
skills, and this goes beyond just pure pleasure on the plate.”
– Gissur Gudmundsson, President of the World
Association of Chefs.
T
HE ROLE OF THE CHEF
African cuisine is a broad landscape of cooking
that has evolved, greatly. As young chefs emerge
and take to the industry, they add innovative
ideas to local cuisine, with pride and dignity. Due to food
trends, this career has increasingly become popular.
Positions in the industry are diverse; from the creative crew,
to management or administrative line-up. This is
determined by where he may rank in the kitchen hierarchy.
The Executive Chef oversees the complete operation of a
restaurant, creating the menu and theme of the enterprise.
The Sous Chef assists with administrative tasks, in support of
the head chef. He is also responsible for the appointment
and dismissal of junior chefs, as well the upkeep of their
work rosters.
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The Line Chef is usually assigned to execute duties like
prepping food ingredients or baking. So individuals
interested in a culinary career are therefore required to go
through technical training at a culinary institute.
A Professional Association, on the other hand, is an
organisation that is formed to unite and inform people who
work in the same industry. Training and certification of
mastering a diverse range of culinary skills helps members
to earn better. Professional organisations make such courses
accessible at reduced cost for members, and also does the
work of establishing the acceptance of their credits by
licensing boards.
Journals and newsletters published by professional
organisations provide opportunities for members to polish
their written and spoken communication skills, and to
expound on, or learn about various advances in their field.
Access to industry information and research resources is
another reason people join professional organisations.
Even professional organisations that hire administrative
staff or conference coordinators present and, or volunteer
opportunities for, and to their members. Committee
positions and working behind the scenes in an
organisation’s special event or fundraiser setup provides
one with the chance to learn and practice management and
leadership skills that improve one’s personal career.
Conducting a workshop or discussing your work at a
conference that might have been sponsored by your
professional organisation offers practice for one to become
adept at communicating in an effective manner, as well as
building a reputation in your field.
Distributing programmes and introducing other speakers
also builds confidence in your ability to meet different
people and to interact competitively with the public.
Professional organisations provide valuable, expert input in
public debates about policies that would affect members of
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that profession, whether these are proposed by a
government entity or an industry-guiding body.
Meeting, mingling with and getting to know others in your
field provides you with the priceless opportunity to get your
face and your résumé in front of prospective employers and
resource suppliers in a relaxed atmosphere. Attending local
and national meetings and conferences reveals your
commitment to excellence in your profession, and also
introduces you to the other players.
These events also help you to keep up with the latest trends,
developments, new products, vendors and potential
opportunities to enhance your career and mentor others.
Membership in a professional organisation also serves as an
effective marketing tool, indicating to others of your
professional commitment to potential clients and reassures
them of your competency and willingness to stay informed
of the latest developments in your field.
In industries – primarily those that are populated by selfemployed
practitioners – such as restaurant owners and
caterers, joining a professional organisation offers access to
group insurance and discounts on goods and services.
THE CHEF’S TABLE
This is an event that has been designed as an indulgence for
dining connoisseurs. It offers the rare opportunity to be
welcomed into the restaurant’s inner sanctuary – the kitchen
– to enjoy memorable tastes and conversations hosted by
the Head Chef. The patrons are taken behind the scenes to
observe the buzz of the dinner-hour preparations, where
they will also enjoy a glass of red wine with hors d’oeuvres,
followed by a selection of main signature dishes.
The idea of the Chefs Table is also for the host chef to
interact with the table, presenting the food dishes to the
table, himself, and allowing the diners to learn more about
the dishes, their various components, and preparation.
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At my previous restaurant, the African Jazz Café, the Chef’s
Table was hosted on the first Sunday of the month, and the
table was placed, slap-bang, in the kitchen, creating an
enhanced ambience. Such specialised events provide an
authentic feel for the restaurant industry. For us, the Chef’s
Table was a vehicle for us to promote authentic South
African cuisine.
It began with a kitchen tour, to see what was prepared at
each station. After booking a corporate or private
celebratory table, I would always close off the deal by taking
the client on a tour to the bar and the approximately 300sqm
kitchen, using this opportunity to introduce them to the
chef and the other members of the team.
The Fourways restaurant, African Cuisine – on the other
hand – had two kitchens, an enclosed one downstairs, and
an open setting, upstairs, thus making the Chef’s Table an
almost daily experience.
The single most important factor in the food industry is the
level of service. Your service staff are the most important
marketing tools, as these people represent the front of the
business to the purchasing public. Only specially identified
people who commit themselves to the code of service,
conduct and ethics of the business are most likely to be
employed on a long-term basis. Employees are trained, not
only in their specific operational duties, but also in the
philosophy and applications of the establishment’s core
business model.
Such people are also given extensive information and kept
informed of any minor, to major changes. Weekly meetings
are held to ensure smooth running of the business.
At the African Jazz Café, the features were as follows: 140
seats of 30 tables; ten full-time waiters and one front-ofhouse
manager; one Executive Chef, one Sous Chef and
two line chefs; four kitchen assistants and two cleaners; one
barrister. The Sous chef was a meticulous lady, who was
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always on time, and her organisational skills were
impeccable. And, being the Sous Chef, who was responsible
for executing the orders, these attributes were her greatest
strength.
Hold On, We Have A Booking...
The private banqueting room was never without a
reservation; it was our bread and butter, as it were. Serving
an À la Carte menu required that each course had to be
served without anything going awry. The sous chef nailed it
consistently, from start to finish, and she was truly reliant.
For the daily walk-ins, she really excelled.
Her orders came out at the prescribed time, and her
consistency regarding the texture, taste and flavour of each
meal was adequately sustained. She could step up to the
plate at any given time, and was a true asset to the business.
She got the orders flowing and, therefore, got the business
running smoothly. But, regrettably, she was lacking in
interpersonal skills. All her good service came at a price, and
this was at a cost of the staff’s morale.
Abuse and insults were frequently hurled at the other
employees; and, worst of all, this used to occur in front of
guests (suppliers and maintenance workers) and front-ofdesk
colleagues. The male staff walked around like they were
emasculated, whilst the women walked around with
burdened hearts.
All this time, it was business as usual and money was coming
in. Yet my spirit was aching for the staff. Hurting souls hurt
others, aggrieved hearts grieve others, and tormented spirits
torment others. Unbeknown to herself, the chef – just like
me – was functioning from a deep-rooted pain; and this was
playing out through how she related to her team. With the
drama of my own personal life – sadly – I could not help
the chef; and the more I had tried, the more injury I had
caused her; and I had bruised her, quite badly.
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The mission statement for the restaurant was:
“The restaurant’s goal is that of a multifaceted success. Our
first responsibility is to the financial well-being of the
restaurant. We will meet these while trying to ensure that
diners frequent the restaurant on a regular basis, knowing
that each visit will be a pleasurable and memorable
experience; that we offer excellent cuisine and service from the
middle to upper class diner and corporate groups; and a
happy, favourable, opportune environment for our staff to
work in. Including incentives and weekly training sessions.”
In having failed the chef, I had also failed the other workers
by not having an effective solution in the kitchen; but I was
also failing part of the mission of the business; the business
I so cared for. I was failing to create an environment where
all employees could participate with a sense of satisfaction,
accomplishment and pride.
Alan Jones, author of Passion for Pilgrimage, sums up –
accurately – the self-analysis of an effective administrator:
“I have to face up to the choice between good and evil and admit my
responsibility in the evils of the world. I am convinced that such probing
is part of the honest work of love. It is an experience of zeal. It is that
which drives me to my knees. The more we are able to face our own
capacity for the evil, the less likely we are to spread the disease.”
The situation with the chef forced me to do a self-analysis,
just like Alan Jones asserts. As I had recognised and
acknowledged my own wickedness, and began to make
changes in my life, I began to feel compassion for the chef.
Gradually, healing started tiptoeing in. As I healed from my
own hurts and bruises, I was then able to speak justly in
situations, and to others, while nursing them and myself
back to health.
Sadly, just the idea that others are capable of evil or
wrongdoing is repulsive to most people. They would rather
not do it; that is, to acknowledge their own wickedness, and
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would still wonder why the circumstances in their lives were
not changing. A healthy and properly growing person
accepts the human condition of weakness. People are
mistake makers; “that is why they put erasers on pencils”.
Healthy and maturing people also engage in healthy
conversations, because they are willing to be open and
sincere in their conversations. They not only talk about the
good side of their lives, but also tackle the weak and
wounded sides of their lives.
A father walks into the restaurant and orders a Portuguese
steak with a cold beer. After paying his bill, he calls for
management and says: “I have a son who is an experienced
chef, who was recently retrenched due to the closing down
of the restaurant where he was working. I promise you; my
son can deliver; please just meet him.”
I must say; the pitch was much more impressive than I am
making it out to be, at the time. Indeed, the chef whose
father was selling to me was a graduate from one of the
most outstanding hotel schools and had been privileged to
have worked at a prestigious restaurant in the Sandton
neighborhood, which sadly had to close down. He was an
enthusiastic, well-spoken chef, and – fittingly – part of his
role was to interact with guests; something that he was
familiar with from his previous company.
“When you are in the restaurant business, your
personal life is non-existent.”
Your personal life, though, is a huge sacrifice that many
people in the restaurant business must make, which is why
the business works better if it is run like a family business.
Sadly, though, this admirable new member of the team was
not willing to compromise his personal life, and we had to
release him.
“Dad, the chicken is not right, you have to come and sort it
out.” Mothei interrupts as we get ready to welcome the
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guests. This day was a big day for us. The restaurant was
being launched as the African Jazz Café, and was the
culmination of the work that had taken us over a year to
accomplish.
The bank was impressed with our pitch to relaunch and
convert the joint from a Portuguese to African Cuisineoriented
establishment; and the loan had been approved in
no time. Pulling all the stops, a team was set up, with my
daughter, Mothei, as the marketing and public relations
professional for the new venture.
A restaurant designer had been enlisted to train us on
restaurant aesthetics. A graphic designer was supposed to
incorporate the theme into the menu, and a Cordon Bleu
chef from the Blue Train crew had come to help us formulate
the menu I had created and presented for the pitch. And,
finally, there was an Executive Chef on board to collaborate
and present the menu as part of the new business direction.
On this day, we were going to deviate a little from our menu
as had been recommended by the Executive Chef.
We had 140 guests who were representing local businesses
that were always eager to support us, and these had included
the Sandton Tourism Association, wine company Distell, who
had also collaborated with us on the wine list and whisky
tasting.
Entertainment had featured our resident jazz pianist and
African drummers from the Alexandra Tourism Association
now, Greater Alexandra Tourism and Heritage Association
(GATHA). The Grayston Shopping Center had come alive
on this Friday afternoon. The Greater Alexandra Tourism
and Heritage Association is the custodian of one of the
houses, where former state president Nelson Mandela had
stayed. Reflecting on this period, Madiba had this to say
about this home: “After a brief time with my cousin (Mr. Walter
Sisulu), I arranged to move in with the Reverend J. Mabutho of the
Anglican Church at his home in Eighth Avenue in Alexandra
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Township. Reverend Mabutho was a fellow Thembu, a friend of my
family, and a generous God-fearing man. As a Thembu who knew my
family, Reverend Mabutho felt responsible for me. ‘Our ancestors have
taught us to share,’ he once told me. I then found accommodation with
his next-door neighbors, the Xhoma family. Mr. Xhoma was one of
an elite handful of African landowners in Alexandra. His house was
small, particularly as he had six children, but it was pleasant, with a
veranda and a tiny garden.” P24 Long Walk To Freedom, Nelson
Mandela
Back To The Kitchen…
The situation is indeed urgent, the chicken has no flavour,
none whatsoever, and it is the entrée. “It would be wrong
for us to serve our guests this chicken”, my husband
forewarns. The crisis was more on the fact that the chef
refused to allow my husband, who was in charge as the back
of house manager; to fix the problem.
Besides being responsible for quality control, he had a
natural flair for flavour and taste, and was highly talented
and experienced in this area. After a long debate with the
chef, my husband finally relented as the chef insisted on
serving the chicken. Let me also mention that this was no
fly-by-night chef. This was a professional who had been in
the industry for a long time and a lecturer, as well as
someone who had worked as an experienced chef in many
upmarket restaurants. He had been commissioned on good
merits. On this occasion, however, his ego stood in the way
and he could not reason properly.
The launch went ahead without a hitch and, as soon as the
guests had left, an urgent meeting was convened by the
chairman of the board of directors for the following week.
The agenda for the meeting was straightforward; besides the
post-analysis of the event and the way forward, more to the
point, there was the question of who was responsible for the
chicken fiasco, and – most importantly – who had
authorised it to be served?
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Regrettably, the chef was later released from his services.
This was regrettable because I had grown fond of him as a
team member, and – also – I had learned a lot from him.
What’s more, he had excellent people skills, which was
something I had lacked, and I had needed him around, to
keep the restaurant team intact. As a lecturer in culinary arts
at one of South Africa’s prestigious schools, he had ensured
that in-service training was relevant to the needs of what we
were trying to achieve with the new direction of the
restaurant, thus reinforcing on safe food preparation and
storage, and on proper cooking; as well as emphasising on
the selection and use of knives, pastry making, ideal mealaccompanying
sauces and soups, as well as organising
promotions and themed events. He also oversaw the
costing of menus; and attending to health and safety issues;
the list goes on.
The most critical thing I had learned from him was;
“How to handle offensive actions without being
offensive, myself.’’
He treated the kitchen staff with great respect (despite their
shenanigans) without cursing or the use of foul language, a
deplorable trait that has, sadly, become a norm in the
industry.
This chef also had a clean sense of humor and had brought
joy to the kitchen, something I had been longing for. His
flair for teaching had also made it easy for the workers to
embrace the vision of the company; the “buy-in”, as it were.
The staffers’ spirits were not only revived in following
orders and working as part of the team, but also in stepping
up to the plate to delegate and take charge, whenever this
was required. The most significant lesson for the front-ofhouse,
however, was the chef’s 15 key points’ training
exercise, which had been designed to maintain the service
levels at an all-time high; what I had chosen to call “The
Drill”.
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However, it is the numbers, the figures, and – mainly – the
food costing that had bonded us together, as we had the task
of turning around the restaurant figures after the
renovations, a skill that had come, intuitively, to me. Of
course, my experience in sales as a pharmaceutical
representative had also helped, a lot. Costing in the
hospitality business is critical; it is the deal breaker. To this
day, I hold the chef closely to the memories of my heart.
And then there was the Cordon Bleu Chef…
He was a “no-measurements” man; obsession with
measurements was his pet peeve. My own obsession with
measurements was a big irritation to him. The Cordon Bleu
Chef brought in a wealth of experience, especially as
someone who had been one of the Blue Train’s creative
team’s key members. Bringing humility to sophistication, he
always took us back to the basics. To speed up the time of
food orders, he had developed a much more productive
system of food prepping. Intuitively and almost instantly,
the chef had recognised that I was extremely skilled at
putting my own stamp on traditional dishes, creating new
combinations and experimenting with new flavours. So, he
had encouraged me to do so with gusto, without any
misgivings. He was fascinated by the passion I had for the
restaurant business, South African cuisine and for the
infusion of local ingredients in universally known recipes.
He became one more person in the list of the most pivotal
individuals to have crossed the path of my life. The designer
had taught me about shades of colours and how to make
these speak to the menu and the myriad anticipated themes.
The word “tone” took on a whole different meaning, as we
gave the restaurant a new character. Working with this
graphic designer had also taught me true innovation. My
interactions with her had also equipped and empowered me
with creativity, and her positive influence has impacted my
work in book design, layout and production in my present
work as a publisher.
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The back of the house is also entails housekeeping. Which
means a place for everything, and everything in its place, all
the time. With no upkeep, chaos ensues and disorder
manifest in all areas of life-including your personal life.
TABLE TALKER
“The higher purpose of clutter clearing is to help clear the debris that
prevents us from connecting to the high spiritual realms from whence we
came and to which we will return. It is all too easy to lose the plot down
here, get immersed in materialism, and come to believe that this world
is all there is, when in fact being here is only a short interlude in the
spiritual journey each of us is on. Clutter clearing in all its forms helps
to restore clarity and simplicity. When you keep around you just the
things you need for your personal journey instead of burdening yourself
with things that obscure your way and hold you back, it makes it much
easier for you to connect with your spiritual path. And when you have
the sense of peace and purpose that comes with that, you will never feel
the need for clutter again.*” – Karen Kingston, Clear Your
Clutter.
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Seven
House Keeping
Decluttering
The Bible is not silent on matters of hygiene and
cleanliness. Concerned about the prevention of
infection and disease, GOD – in his interaction
with the children of Israel – gave hygiene, neatness
and sanitation careful attention. – Deuteronomy
23:9-14.
This chapter is dedicated to Chef Sinah, the first chef I had
worked with in 2005 in Sandton. Originally from North
West, Mafikeng, Sinah administered the kitchen
meticulously, like a well-trained soldier, and with high
standards of hygiene.
A
BOUT HOUSEKEEPING
It is your surroundings that speak louder than
your eloquent words and immaculate appearance.
Besides being a poor reflection of one’s work
ethic; this also lowers the morale of the people who must
function, daily, in a messy, disorderly work environment;
although they may not be aware of the cause. This is an
issue that is commonly undermined, yet it has drastic longterm
consequences. God, our creator, has set us an
example of how we should live; first, through the
surroundings, and secondly, through the laws of hygiene.
It is ungodly to be in poor hygienic conditions.
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The restaurant, African Jazz Café, which had been located
in the heart of Sandton, was enjoying an accreditation from
the Tourism Grading Council; and the local authority had
issued a merited health certificate; and, also, great reviews
were coming our way; and this had been based, mainly, on
the respectable standard of hygiene that we had
maintained.
My nursing background had certainly come in handy and
we had impressed the authorities and guests, alike as far as
hygiene was concerned. The restaurant even prided itself in
monthly kitchen excursions and expositions for our regular
guests. Given the above, the consultants’ tantrums did not
make sense to me... until later. When the core of your life
is out of order, your surroundings cannot be in order; the
two are interrelated.
CLUTTER
The word clutter is from the Middle English “clutter” which
means to coagulate. When something coagulates, it takes
another form and shape, serving a different purpose. In
medical terms, coagulating means forming a clot. A clot is
something doctors dread (except where it stops bleeding), a
deadly hazard waiting to happen. The Thesaurus, in
explaining clutter, pops out words like “mess”, “litter”,
“disorder”, “confusion”, “untidiness” and “chaos”.
Why We Keep Clutter
There are many reasons why we keep clutter; and, in most
cases, we are not even aware of our state of chaos. Even
when we might be aware, but may not be ready to deal with
what might be uncovered underneath the mess, we refuse
to acknowledge our chaotic existence, and we become
ardent “clutter apologetics”.
This begins with “things” being attached to “things” –
emotionally and physically – and, in time, these “things”
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start to occupy your space and, before long, the space is not
enough for you and the “things” – then, before you know
it, disorder ensues. Sooner or later, the “things” begin to
dictate your life, and you start keeping things that you do
not necessarily need, but which you think you might need
in the future. (Some of these things you do not have a clue
as to what they are supposed to be used for, and how they
work). At this point, your life is now exhibiting symptoms
of your physical chaos through your cluttered emotional and
spiritual spaces. For me, the untidiness , somehow covered
up the immorality in my marriage.
I had done what a lot of people in my situation do, through
an exaggerated social behaviour, the intentions of which
may be good and justified. And I used to get involved in
anything and everything that could distract me from the
reality of my own life. I accumulated and surrounded myself
with grandeur and opulence. The more things I had, the
better I had felt, no end. Underneath all this, my life was
rotting away; with matters not being addressed.
A life of silence and concealment, in its organic nature, is
evil, and – inevitably – it harms everybody, including the
very person you may think you are protecting. And, the
more you protect wickedness, the more you enable the
other person to do one wrong after another; and, the more
the situation becomes more harmful. A life of mysteries and
secrets perpetuates immorality; which is a phenomenon that
took me years to understand. For some, accumulating
things might be seen as assuming a sense of power; a type
of power that distracts you from dealing with what is really
going on in your life, and ignoring the fact that;
“If you do not deal with what is going on, it will always
come back.”
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How Clutter Plays Out in Our Lives
Mobile banqueting was a major part of our business model,
and had exposed us to a lot of people in their organic
settings. Experiences varied, and some of these were greatly
influenced by the guests’ extent of attachment to things;
somehow meaning that you disappear from their radar and
become part of their objects of value, which define them
and their space, giving meaning to their lives. Such hosts’,
have a mental stock-taking list running in their minds, all the
time, and the update of this list consumes them as they add
more “things” to their “things”. And, should any of the
things be displaced, then drama ensues, ever so often, and
this occurs at a cost, including relationships. The main
feature of their decorative spaces are the cupboards, and
more cupboards; for storage, and more storage; with
clogged rooms filled to maximum capacity – with “things”,
among which are people, who have been hurt, deeply.
On this occasion, the restaurant was hosting a private
banquet, onsite, and the event seems to be well-organised
and flowing according to plan. On the last day of the site
inspection I realise that the hostess’s focus on the event is
not balanced. A hefty portion of the budget is on
equipment. In addition to all the things that she has in her
storeroom, she hires more equipment and, sadly, I am
unable to stop her. The result is, the service levels were likely
to become compromised, which would adversely affect the
flow of the event. After long hours of hard work, most of
which was outside of our agreement, the event goes ahead
and we finally go home. As I am relaxing at home I get a
hysterical phone call from the hostess. I must have taken
one of her gadgets by mistake; or; if it was not me, it might
be my workers, she cried out. I decided to go check if the
item was there, or if it was true that it had been taken.
Following a polite explanation, I had then promise to get
back to her as soon as I have checked (our agreement was
not for us to bring equipment, but rather for her to use her
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own, so there was nothing for us to pack away). Hysteria
had heightened as I had respond with this answer. With a
broken heart, she subsequently related to me how much the
equipment meant to her and how she had struggled to
source this from the supplier.
The night before, during our prep, her concern had been
about relatives that had to be watched and discouraged from
taking extra portions of food. Even then, her mind was
going into a stock-taking mode that was already consuming
her. It was awfully heart-breaking to witness this setback.
Thankfully, she later found the items in her own storeroom.
Suddenly, it had dawned to me that a few years before, I was
just like her!
Clutter affects us in different ways. In this instance, it had
clogged the host’s thoughtfulness and ability to appreciate
life. Worst of all, it was distracting her from important
things, and leading her towards focusing on mundane
matters, instead, meaning that – somehow – clutter was
holding her captive. The payback for material attachment is
the enormous pleasure and honour which these “things”
seemingly bestow on us, demanding attention as they salute
us, each time we walk by. This attachment is counteracted
with misguided giving as an antidote; whereas giving, in
essence, is the transferring of possessions, not discarding of
possessions; you give what you value.
For others, the reason for attachment might be a sense of
character and importance; and I call such people “egotists”.
These people are pleasant to be around, as they enjoy an
audience. They find any excuse in the world to have a show,
and take pleasure from the “production”. This “show” from
these “egotists” could include shopping, buying, asking for
quotations, and for measurements to more buying. The
production takes priority over everything else, including
squandering the things that matter most. As their dinner
guests, you become part of the exhibition and spectacle.
They would love to offer you a cup of tea or a glass of water,
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but the tour and presentation consumes them. As with any
destination, their home is governed by self-made rules and
regulations. Access is limited by boundaries; meaning that
guests are welcome, but provided they fulfil the
requirements of the house rules. In welcoming their guests,
they are short of mentioning the dress code, right of
admission and all the other house rules typical of a business
place. Their worth is in their passion; and, outside of these
things, they don’t really know who they are, but – still – like
typical Naked Emperors, they feel successful and secure.
DECLUTTERING
Over a cup of tea, one morning, I asked my mother what
she would like me to do for her in maximising my stay with
her (unbeknown to me, our stay was going to last more than
a year, the last year of her 84 years, I may add).
“I would like for you to arrange my home as beautifully as
you usually do with your places (home and businesses),” she
had said. Then, she had added, “Create a space for me that
will be enjoyed by everybody who walks into my home.”
Puzzled by the emphasis on the term, “everybody”, I had
asked her as to what she might have meant. “You see,
Eunice, in this house, the only people that are welcome and
made to feel at home are the people I go to church with,
and only people with that kind of spiritual moral high
ground. It has been like this for all my life, and I would like
to change that.”
She had explains further, “I would like for my neighbours
to also come in, and to feel welcome and enjoy a cup of tea;
and I would like for them to be served the way you serve
me. I would like for them to experience being waited upon;
and I would like to be able to give their children a cookie
when they turn up in my yard.” My mother had then
continued painting the picture of this type of a seemingly
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drastically transformed home that she was desiring, and
most longingly so.
Then, in response, I had said, “I get the picture, Mme. The
only thing is that, for me to be able to create this space for
you, we will need to clean up. Will you be willing for me to
do that? Remember how, previously, you and Ntate (Dad)
had stopped Aus’ Monki from cleaning up the house?”
Coolly, my mother had said, reassuringly, “Do not worry,
Eunice; I am past that, now. Just do as I say.”
Touched by my mother’s request, I had then embarked on
the unprecedented home make-over. The “spring-cleaning”
goes without a hitch, and soon my mother’s home is clean,
with lots of light shining through wide open curtains. Oh!
Curtains, we must mention curtains. There is something
about some people and curtains with dark homes. Open the
curtains, and it is woe unto you! Yet, my mother had
rejoiced in the opened curtains and the light that permeated
her home. The dining room and bedroom became my
mother’s favourite spaces. Like a queen, she rested during
the day with the door open, so she could invite her guests
in. In case she did not want to get out of bed, she says to
me, with a smile – like how it was at my sister’s home – my
mother’s dining table was always set, and thus ready to serve
a meal. This was her pride and joy. The kitchen table was
permanently set for my mother’s early morning tea and sour
porridge breakfast, which she cooked for herself, daily, until
her passing – a year later.
To sustain the new changes, with the help of my elder sister,
Monki, we drew up a cleaning programme and a weekly
menu. And the helper went through a two-week orientation
on the new schedule. Clearing clutter had transformed my
mother’s existence in her final years. The courage to let go,
(looking back) I came to realise that, was more of a spiritual
cleansing than a physical one. With the clutter having been
removed, a new space had emerged in my mother’s home
and sincere conversations set off. She was in tune with
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herself and knew, clearly, what she wanted and needed, and
was now seeing things clearly, and simply. My mother now
had an admirable sense of peace, and had also began to
connect to God in a way that she never knew she could. She
basically had what I could summarize as a “Spiritual
Transformation”.
Untidiness, like any evil, is something we like to cling to.
Yet, we know that, like any evil, clutter, dirt and dark places
without light are not healthy for us; nevertheless, we get
upset and rebellious when cleanliness is brought into our
lives. My mother took the plunge, though, and I salute her
for that. Getting started might be overwhelming; so one
should consider the following information before you begin
de-cluttering and cleansing your space. In an average twobedroom,
one-bathroom home, the average clutter per
room is as follows:
For the storage rooms, garage, outside rooms and garden
shed – 37%;
Kitchen – 25%;
Bedrooms – 20%;
Dining room and lounge – 10%;
Bathroom – 5%;
Behind the doors and entrance – 3%.
The kitchen, which is part of the living space, is the heart of
any home. It is around food that our true emotions emerge,
setting the tone of the flow of the mood and temperament
of the household. It is in the heat of the kitchen that our
personalities melt, and where our feelings get unfrozen;
meaning that it is the site of the unfinished, stale discussions
that have been left in the fridge for a long time, where these
begin to smell; and where past speculations come crawling
out of the drawers. Therefore, the kitchen is an ideal place
to start decluttering; to get the emotions out of the way,
before you get to the core of the clutter. The 37% of space
that has been mentioned above, is the space in which you
are going to have to deal with archived matters of your life
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– those that have been lingering in the fridge, freezer and
cupboards for a while.
Be ready for some emotional overflow that comes with the
purging. Like a course of detoxification, it is unbearable
while it lasts with enormous rewards later. Establish a
manageable routine first, for an example; so, once a week,
you should seek to effect a decluttering of the fridge and
cleaning materials’ cupboards. Do not take out everything
to the center and create another centralised and cluttered
area, as this will set you back. While unpacking, create a
recycling flow of mini containers or bags, and label these,
according to how you want to dispose of, and manage the
clutter.
TABLE TALKER
“While many fear “real” it is the unreal conversation that should scare
us to death. Unreal conversations are expensive for the individual and
families. No one has to change; but everyone has to have the
conversation.” – Susan Scott, Fierce Conversations.
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Eight
Flavors And Family
Conversations
As I juggled to prepare the Prawns, Mogodu, Lamb
Shanks and a numberless other dishes of my life,
time and time again, the flavours and seasonings
had failed to come right. But, skillfully, I did a lot
of fire-control, and continued to present the
perfect pose – trying, as hard as I could, to cope;
and had – nonetheless – continued to engage in
countless, unreal conversations.
This chapter is dedicated to my elder sister, Aus’ Monki
Rakhale-Thibedi, for the pivotal role she has played in the
reality of my conversations; especially when I had embarked
on this book project.
F
RESH HERBS OR DRY HERBS?
Delicate leaves lose their spiciness and colour with
lengthy, prolonged cooking; whereas dry herbs
release their flavour slowly. As a rule, fresh herbs
should be added thirty minutes before the end of cooking,
or just before serving.
Some herbs – like thyme, marjoram, oregano and sage – dry
better than others, such as parsley and chives, for an
example. Dry herbs should be stored in a cool dark place,
for about six to nine months. Fresh herbs, on the other
hand, should be bought on the day you intend to use them.
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Tender Herbs
South African Culinary Heritage
These herbs have soft, fragile leaves and need careful
handling. They should be added in the last few minutes of
cooking time or to the finished dish. Popular tender herbs
are: Basil, which goes well with tomatoes and African
traditional style dishes; chervil, dill and tarragon, which are ideal
for fish, eggs and cream sauces; mint, coriander and the great,
full-bodied parsley.
Full-Bodied Hardy Herbs
These herbs have tough, woody stems and strong leaves and
withstand long cooking. These should be added at the
beginning of the cooking, to extract and mellow their
flavour; and should be removed just before serving. These
include richly flavoured bay leaves, which go well with
Mogodu; sweet-smelling aromatic Oregano, Marjoram and
Thyme, which are ideal for Umleqwa (Traditional Chicken) and
Maotwana (Chicken Trotters); Rosemary, which goes well with
Lamb Shank; and Sage, which is suited for pork dishes.
Hot Spices
Spices are usually added at the beginning of cooking time.
However, these may be bitter if cooked for a long time and should
be added halfway through the cooking. Many spices add heat to
dishes, some give just a hint of warmth, while others
introduce a fierce heat to the meal. The essentially hot spices are
chilli, ginger, pepper and mustard. There more than two hundred
types of chilli, and these vary in shape, size, color and
potency, and can be bought fresh, dried, flaked or ground.
Chilli powder may be hot or mild, and can also vary from
red hot cayenne pepper to mild sweet paprika. All chilli can
be bitter after long cooking and should therefore be added
halfway through the cooking time. Peppercorns add a kick to
the dish, with black seeds being the hottest.
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Fragrant Spices
Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
Some plants are grown for their fragrant aromatic seeds.
These are sold whole and ground. Long slow cooking
softens the whole seeds and releases their taste. These
include cumin and coriander, used in North African dishes;
caraway seeds, which are featured in South African
traditional cabbage-based dishes, as well as baked dishes
such as dumpling recipes. Poppy seeds are often used in
desserts and also make a popular topping for crusty corn
and beer bread. Other fragrant spices include warm cinnamon
and nutmeg, aromatic Cardamom pods, strong cloves, vanilla,
for sweet dishes; and bitter sweet saffron for rice and fish
dishes.
Spice Mixtures
There are many ground spice mixes that are used in both
sweet and savoury dishes. These include mixed spice or apple
pie spice, which are typically used in cakes and dessert; fivespice
powder, which is used in Asian dishes; garam masala for
a wide variety of curries, ranging from mild to very hot; and
finally, the South African cuisine four spice mixture for
Tshisanyama (barbequed) steaks and stews.
Traditional Sauces
As has been mentioned, already, traditional sauces that go
well with South Africa’s main ingredient Tshisanyama are:
Tomato and Onion, which is commonly referred to as
gravy, not as a sauce; Beetroot, which is normally referred
to as a salad, and; And Atchaar
A combo to impress the palate
Savoury Sauces: There are many savoury sauces that can
be used to boost the flavours of many different dishes.
These are strongly flavoured and often salty, so usually only
a dash or two is required. Worcester sauce can add a rich
rounded flavor to stews. Soy-based sauces are good for
African-style traditional dishes like Mogodu (tripe and
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Tshotlho (pounded beef). Fermented fish sauce including
anchovy and oyster sauce. These should be added at the
beginning.
Savory Extracts – Essences
These have a rich, fragrant aroma and are usually used to
flavour sweet dishes. You only need just a few drops to
flavour a whole dish. Be on the lookout for artificial
flavourings, and be sure, always, to go for the real thing.
Almond and vanilla essence are used to flavour cakes and
desserts. Orange and rose water have a delicate fragrance
and should be added at the end of the cooking for the best
flavour.
Alcohol and cooking
Wines like Sherry and Port can be used to enrich both sweet
and savoury dishes. Colourless fruit spirits like kirsch and
sweet liqueurs such as amaretto can be used for desserts and
sweet dishes.
FORCED TO HAVE THE CONVERSATION
The well-thought-out use of flavouring is the key to
successful cooking. Some dishes require just a subtle hint,
while others need a more full-bodied flavouring. So, it is
with our conversations. Some occur and flow naturally, but
other chats need some thought put into them, while most
tête-à-têtes will require a lot of courage.
But first the table must be set...
As I began earning more money as a student nurse I could
now buy food for the family. Once a week, during my two
days off, I prepared a meal for my five siblings. My very first
family dinner menu consisted of dumpling and chicken,
with no fuss, at all – simple but wholesome, and truly filling.
For dessert, we had custard and jelly and a jug of orange
flavoured Kool-Aid. Each setting was pitch perfect,
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complete with a fork and knife, a glass and serviette. Foreign
to my siblings, even though my mother appreciated the meal
setting, it was a mission to get the family together all at once.
Not once did we ever manage to get all my siblings to sit
together as a family. Week after week, I had continued to
set the table; and, one after the other, my siblings came to
take a plateful and sit in their little corners.
Meeting my husband had brought in a new outlook and feel
to family meals and dining. Not only was he a good cook,
but he enjoyed dining out as well. Subsequently, we went on
to start the restaurant business together, as a family,
together with our daughter, Mothei. The success of the
restaurant business had stemmed from the strength of us
working together, as a family. However, later, this very
strength turned out to be our weakness, as well.
Local newspapers and magazines profiled and celebrated us.
One article read: “The restaurant is personally managed by a
husband and wife team, with their daughter as marketing professional.
The family team is very much hands-on, and the members are
completely involved in all aspects of the business.”
The Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats,
SWOT analysis that we had done as a family, in preparation
for this business venture, had led us to allocating our
strengths fittingly. My husband’s responsibilities had
involved the daily running of the restaurant, liaising with the
landlord, buyers and suppliers, handling quality control,
overseeing legal matters, insurances, employment policies,
as well as authorising payments and working closely with the
accountant and auditors.
Mine had entailed finances, occupational safety,
subscription to relevant organisations and institutions, wine
selection, creating recipes and developing the menu. Besides
marketing and public relations-PR, Mothei was also
responsible for transitioning the restaurant from Portuguese
and transforming it into African cuisine.
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Before venturing into the restaurant business, early on in my
nursing career, I had come to realise that I needed
something that would challenge me to grow and develop.
Even though I enjoyed being a nurse, somehow, this did not
feel enough; I wanted more. And I recall sharing this with a
colleague as we were walking along the corridors of Chris
Hani Baragwanath Hospital during lunchtime, and she had
laughed at me. This was in 1980. Suffice to say, eventually,
I did change my career. At the beginning of my second
career as a pharmaceutical representative, I had decided to
retire early to pursue business possibilities. I gave myself a
year’s break before the business got started. It was during
this time that my husband had surprised me, one morning.
“You know Eunice, I have been observing you since you
stopped working”, my husband had commented; “You
seem to be at peace, and enjoying preparing for what you
are going to do next. I would like to join you in this space
and go into business with you.”
Taken aback, I had asked him to allow us to think about it.
After giving this idea some thought and sharing it with some
of the other family members, I had then agreed – in
principle – but had also proposed that we hold a formal
meeting before I could commit to his request.
We had then discussed the reasons and benefits of working
together, as a family, highlighted our strengths, weaknesses
and intended roles. After we had formalised our business
relationships, we went into business together, happy and
excited. This was to be the first of many family meetings
and workshops in preparation for this new venture, a
process that took eighteen months before we finally opened
our first restaurant in 2005.
We assumed it was our financial investment and a good
business plan that was going to make the business
successful. However, we had soon discovered it was the
combination of our strengths as a family that became the
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source of our success. As the business grew, so did my
strengths and creativity. And everything was going well, or
so I had thought...
Going into the restaurant business was one of the highlights
of my career and business moves. It opened doors that I
would never have accessed, and also brought countless
opportunities. I carry a lot of heartening, personal and
business experiences in my spirit from the tables that I
served. And continue to celebrate these special moments,
which remain truly memorable, without end.
The Newspaper ad had read, in part, “African Jazz Café,
Grayston Drive Sandton. Public auction to be held on Monday 4th
December 2006, commencing at 10h00. Entire contents of the wellestablished
and renowned African Jazz & Cuisine restaurant in
prime position. To be sold in its entirety as one lot.”
An auction is like a seal of failure; a public declaration of
one’s incompetence. Ironically, the restaurant was at its
busiest on this day. Guests were not bothered about what
was going on, expected their usual Lamb Shank, Mogodu or
Prawns, which they had expected to be served, pronto! The
private banqueting room made it easier for the auction to
take place, discretely. Words cannot begin to describe the
effects of the loss and how it had impacted my life. For
years, I could not even travel along Grayston Drive, without
some emotional breakdown. The mere sound of the music
we used to play at the restaurant brought so much anguish.
The grief was not so much for the material loss, but rather
what was behind the loss. That is what ate my spirit away
and crushed my soul. Some years, later, in a moment of grief
–quite unexpectedly – my daughter blurts out: “Now we are
going to be known as a stupid family that had a good thing
going and they messed it up; leave me out of it, Mama.” I
cannot even remember what we were talking about when
this had happened. Speechless, I then realised the extent of
the loss and how it had not only affected me, but the rest of
my family, as well. The auction was the dawn of a new era,
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though – an era to face my demons for what they were;
without camouflage and façade; just the truth. My response
to the loss of the business became more of a reality check
on the state of my personal life. Sadly, not yet being ready
to be truthful, there were still more losses that came my way.
A restaurant kitchen is run like an army. It is about systems,
routine and speed. On the menu, prawns are the easiest to
cook; two to three minutes. Yet it is a dish that is more likely
to go wrong if the systems are not in place. First, the grill
must be preheated to the right temperature; the basting,
which is part of prep, must be readily available. The serving
sauces are easy to prepare, but these require precise quality
ingredients. Should any one of these go wrong then the two
to three minute-order would then go horribly wrong. The
cooking must coordinate with the flow of the orders for the
eagerly anticipated meals to be delivered satisfactorily.
With reflection, I saw my life in the context of the restaurant
kitchen. I had all the ingredients of a successful life. I am a
creative person, with a skillful mind, and gifted in many
areas. Most of all, I am a dedicated, hardworking individual
with a teachable nature; unfortunately with no control
systems in place. Such as having no accountability for those
that did as they pleased in my space, often leaving me as a
helpless spectator of my own life.
As I juggled to prepare the Prawns, Mogodu, Lamb
Shanks and a numberless other dishes of my life, time
and time again, the flavours and seasonings failed to
come right. But, skillfully, I did a lot of fire-control, and
continued to present the perfect pose – trying, as hard
as I could, to cope – and engaged in unreal
conversations.
Giving of ourselves and serving each other are the
thermometers of our love for one another. We can give
without loving whenever we are not being honest and
truthful, especially in unhealthy, codependent relationships.
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When you are working together, as a family, you are heavily
dependent on each other’s gifts and talents. You strengthen
each other on your limitations. Often, the dynamics of what
it takes to serve and work for each other are both unknown
and foreign to most families. We find it easy to serve and
work for others. To be able to work efficiently for anybody
you must be able to get and be real with them.
It certainly was not the case in my situation. With the
systems of truth and sincerity not being in place, most of
the family relations and businesses suffer a terrible demise;
and, inevitably, so did mine. We failed to see what we had
in each other and, therefore, missed out on our shared
opportunity of succeeding together. We had everything we
needed, within, and around us; but we had kept looking
outside, and wondered why things were not going well.
Also, we desperately sought for outside counsel and
direction; advice that we had within our own selves; at
home, to be precise. This was simply because we did not see
what we had. As the problems had progressed, our hearts
became more hardened and stubborn, determined to
destroy each other. We became our own enemies;
destroying both our marriage and business.
After the failure of the first restaurant, we went into
business, yet again, but without getting to the root of our
problems. We had – instead – focused more on the
superficial, hoping that the real deep problems would go
away. The business’ problems were symptoms of my
afflicted personal life; and disasters had then ensued, on ad
on, until I had had decided to become “real”. As I became
real and truthful, slowly the real issues came to the fore and
more time and energy was spent on the issues at hand,
without any distortions.
Fast forward to December 2013...
My newly-published Pictorial Coffee Table Cook Book was
being launched in September during Heritage and Tourism
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Month. I was invited for an interview by one of the local
television stations. The presenter, I came to find out, later,
happened to be one of my former guests. In the make-up
room, she had started to reminiscence about her dining
experiences at our restaurant. Suddenly, I was engulfed by
tremendous anxiety as her excitement took me back to the
restaurant business. I had suddenly gone back to my
woundedness. As we prepare to go on air, I remind her,
emphatically:
“Please, Sindy, can we just focus and talk about the book
only; that is the purpose of the interview, remember?” At
that point, we were already on countdown to be on air.
Ignoring my warning, Sindy had gone ahead and introduced
me as a former restaurateur and went on, and on, about the
restaurant. The rest of the interview, I cannot remember,
except for the feeling that had suddenly come upon me. But,
as I was talking to Sindy, something inside of me had come
alive; and my soul had started shining, and – unexpectedly
– my collapsed life did not matter anymore. I had then
rattled through the interview with intense passion and
fervour, and with a type of passion that I had forgotten had
once existed in me. I knew something happened to me on
that show. Yes; something considerably awesome had
happened; but – uncannily – I could not put my finger on
it.
When I got home, my daughter, Mothei, had called for me
to give her feedback. “Good job, Mama; I am so proud of
you,” my daughter had remarked, excitedly and proudly.
“You were in your element, today. And, I think it is good
that you are allowing yourself to go to that sore space in
your life, with such joy.”
Quickly, it had dawned on me that the restaurant pain was
gone; it was no more. I could now talk about food, and food
experiences, without any pain, at all. As I looked back, I
realised that it was exactly eight years later that I had found
healing. I savoured the moment with great joy and gratitude.
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The launch of the coffee table book gave me a new lease on
life. Unintentionally, so, it had also become a means to
celebrate my life; with all its flaws. The recipes became
conversational pieces that had symbolically facilitated the
process of picking up the remnants of my life. In picking up
the pieces, I had to unlearn some destructive character traits
that had become part of my way of surviving. Like taking
things personally, for instance.
“Not every discussion is about you Mama.”
My daughter Mothei kept telling me this, over, and over.
The more she had said this, the more I had become
offended, failing to understand what she had really meant. I
had also been failing to understand how my situation had
impacted on my beloved children – not paying attention,
completely, until I had lost everything including critical
relationships.
“Bohlale ba phala bo tswa phalaneng,” so says my late mother’s
favourite Sesotho proverb. What my mother was saying is that we must
listen to our children, without being preoccupied with being right – the
elders, and mature people learning objectively from the young, as it were.
The well-intended advice from so many people around me,
had always fallen on deaf ears. But life, in all its goodness,
was speaking to me, loudly, but I could not or would not
listen. The dynamics of my personal life were complicating
an already complex business situation. In my desperation to
save the imminent loss of the restaurant, illogical errors of
judgment were made. What followed was one disaster after
another. As if addicted to this ruinous life, money continued
to go down the drain. Not unexpected, in no time I had lost
everything.
“You cannot fall from the floor, Eunice.”
I had said this to myself, unceasingly, trying to keep myself
afloat while I was spending sleepless nights on the floor in
a rented room. For the next two years, this rented room
became my home. As I had learnt to impersonalise matters,
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so to speak, I had then started to view and deal with the
different, minor and major situations of my life, differently
– and getting a deeper insight of the dynamics of my
situation; while also seeing things for what they are.
I had also come to the point of understanding that I am not
responsible for the way others treat me. And, as I took this
view, I became proactive in my responses. This had also
helped me to relate to people according to where they were
at, without justifying their behaviour. I realised that I was
allowing myself to be consumed by other people’s
misdemeanours because this took away my focus from my
own truths. After some time, this also became a helpful
outlet for my unforgiveness, bitterness and anger, and also
gave me an excuse to justify my idiotic, irrational reaction of
wrath and hostility. For a long time, I had expressed these
negative feelings without guilt; but the earnest conversation
of my life had now begun. Slowly, these conversations
began to link to one another, making sense of the
senselessness of my life.
The conversations gave meaning to my pain, offering healing and
reconciliation. The tables I had served had become offering tables;
offerings of my pain, to heal.
THE CONVERSATIONS
TABLE 1 – INVITED TO A GUEST’S TABLE
This was a corporate table, a farewell party for a friend and
colleague who was relocating to the coast. For appetisers,
they had curried chicken salad; and the entrée was a
variety of platters including the well-liked traditional
platter of Mogodu, Maotwana and Chicken
Livers. Dessert was fruit salad platters.
The host had made a special request and had also insisted
that I should be present and be part of the event to meet
her guests and interact with them. This was not an unusual
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request, as to most of my patrons, the restaurant had come
to be a place where they also found healing, as I had
ministered to them through my experiences, as has been
narrated in the book.
As I was rotating and “ministering” the tables, I found
myself sitting next to one guest who was engaging and really
wanted to talk; and was sharing with me the pressures of her
executive position and how she protects herself; so this
young mother had painted a picture of her daily routine; and
this had left me perturbed. We shall call it the “drill’”.
“The first thing I have to see in the morning is my coffee,
see... not ask for! My helper knows; I don’t even have to ask
for it. Coffee is my sanity; it preserves me. I am about to
have breakfast with my son, so I must protect him from the
looming insanity of my daily life. The breakfast table is the
first run-through that I undergo, every morning. This helps
me to conquer the drudgery of presenting myself to the
outside world. This part of the day is quality time with my
son; so, it is imperative for this part of my day to go well, as
it sets the tone for the rest of my day. The drill shall continue
as I prepare myself for work,” explains the well-groomed
young mother.
“You see, I have to assume a certain persona. And, the
make-up and clothes are critical to striking the right pose.
Then follows the state of my mind, to remind myself of my
intellectual capabilities. Moving on to my heart, I remove all
the emotions, to ensure that they do not get in the way of
business. By now, I shall have had an hour’s drive to work
to perfect the persona. Then I am all ready and set to handle
the challenges of the corporate world,” She concluded,
leaving me absolutely astounded.
People who are willing to share their vulnerability do not
have to keep up the exhausting effort of covering up. They
also don’t have to tie masks over their faces. When you have
a conversation with a person wearing a mask…
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You don’t really know who you are talking to; therefore,
what you are talking about can never be really what you
are talking about.
I could relate to my guest, as I had been like that for a long
time. Only when we are willing to share our whole selves,
warts and all, are we really talking to one another. Our
openness – when we converse – becomes contagious. As I
come out of my deceptive self, and engage in sincere
discussions, others become inspired to be honest and
sincere in their conversations, as well. Being sincere has
given me a sense of peace and freedom. Freedom to be able
to own up and say how I feel. A sense of peace, knowing that
my motives must be kept pure. An accountability to know
that, no matter what I say, I must keep myself in check; to
see if I am saying it to ventilate, manipulate, or if it is just
“talk” to have a fruitful conversation.
If I talk to you and I just want to ventilate, I am using you
as a garbage bin of some sort or the other – and as a refuse
bag for my emotional waste – so that I may feel better. And,
instead of finding a semblance of closure and healing, you
feel worse, most probably. If my motive is manipulation, I am
knowingly or unknowingly scheming to make you feel
responsible for me and my emotions; for you to feel guilty
for having caused my emotions harm, or to feel compelled
to give me the sympathy I might be seeking. This is a ploy
that should be avoided. Although we may try to disguise
such motives, these will eventually show through, and cause
pain and destroy the relationships that you treasure. You
must remove the mask to be able to deal with the “it” in
your life, which you are seemingly covering up. Sad to say, I
never saw this young woman ever again. I never connected
with her because – even though we talked for a long time –
we never really had a meaningful, constructive, or
productive conversation.
The only healthy and acceptable reason for talking and
sharing is if I am doing it so that you can know me better; the
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real me. And so that we can have a real relationship; not an
arrangement that we often mistakenly call friendship. In this
way, I am not just talking to you; but I am sharing myself
with you. I felt worn-out and exhausted in keeping real,
because – when you have lived a life of secrets and lies like
I had done, for a long time – being real tends to be a
daunting and unnerving exercise. This had required drastic
changes that would have entailed dropping off certain
character defects that might have stood in the way of
healing. To make these changes was hard work and time
consuming. Along the way, I wanted to abort the process;
but what had kept me going was the need to restore the
relationship with my children. And, in doing so, I had to go
back to the wrongs, shortcomings and misdeeds I had
identified as I was reflecting on my life. Many of us fear
admitting our wrongs because we fail to understand that
whenever we do this, we are being made right. It is akin to
being given a second chance; to relieve us from the hidden
causes of our painful lives.
TABLE 2 – A SISTER’S TABLE
“I live on my own, my children are all grown up. This is the
time for me to pay attention to “me” – to pamper myself,
and to look after my own, ever-hardworking body. The
Cornish hen is a monthly treat, and I insist on this being
marinated in a variety of herbs. I rely on herbs to flavour my
food, as I believe in grilled and baked food. I have also
invested in a good kitchen, so that I may enjoy cooking,”
my sister Monki, says proudly. “One of the things we
missed as children was eating together, as a family,” my
sister continues to reflect. “You are fortunate, Eunice, in
that you managed to turn your own life around, positively,
and – to counter the lack of family meals at our parents’
house – you instilled, in your own children, a culture of
eating together. And, now, I see you passing this value onto
your granddaughter, Aminah.”
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Monki is a passionate, healthy cook, with a huge collection
of herbs. On this day, the menu was chicken stew with
mushrooms; served with dumpling, beetroot and
Morogo salad. A nice bottle of Rosé was left to cool in
the fridge for dessert, with a glass of Merlot flowing
beautifully as she cooked. I do not recall what had brought
up the subject, but my sister was reflecting on the aftermath
of her tumultuous marital life.
Trying to fill the void, she had joined a Stokvel, a women’s
club. Once a month, she looked forward to meeting with
this group of women, where she found solace as she poured
out the drama of her life. However, with time, my sister had
noticed a pattern in the way the meetings were conducted.
These never followed the agenda. No other topic was ever
discussed, except her personal issues. Without noticing, her
life had become the agenda. The drama of her life had
captured their attention like a soapie. No one else spoke
about their own, specific “businesses”.
“This is odd”, she had said to herself. After giving this some
thought, the following month she decided that she would
engage with them on different terms. At the next meeting,
when she was asked, predictably, how the drama of her life
was unfolding, she had responded: “Things are the same,
nothing has changed, thank you.”
With the characters in the soapie now having been written
off, the meeting ended. It was now evident that the group
was not being helpful to her situation, and that the
conversations were insincere. As it had become an
unfortunate norm for so many women who are dealing with
marital challenges, the ladies’ group was just a platform to
indulge and drown sorrows in alcohol and insincere
discussions. Safe to say, my sister, Monki, had subsequently,
and wisely, left the Stokvel. It is only my sister who can relate
the story in a way that left us rolling with laughter; even
though this discussion took her family back to their difficult
childhood in Rockville, Soweto, and her daughters managed
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to see the humorous side of the story. Laughing about this
situation showed us how far the family had come.
Unlike me, Monki, who is actually my older sister, has a
good memory of our childhood and, as such, in her
conversations she always uses childhood incidences as a
point of reference. Quite often, I am taken aback when she
says something that makes me realise how often she thinks
about us when we were growing up together as children, and
as young adults. A colleague of hers had just lost a dear
friend and she had explained to me how she was making
sure that this colleague would be sound, emotionally. She
went on to explain, “I am doing this, Eunice because – when
you were young, in your twenties – you lost a dear friend,
and I saw you suffer from this loss, while our family was
oblivious to your pain. And I had always wondered how you
had coped.”
Monki, like my mother and her mother my grandmother,
Ma-Hlallele, has a great sense of humour; and will always
bring out the funny side to a problem at hand, no matter
how deep and painful the situation was, at any other time.
Also, Monki was very lonely as a result of her suffering in
her marriage. As a family that had never eaten together and
talked, we were incapable of listening out to her pain.
Thankfully, in her loneliness, there was always humour to
keep her afloat.
In fact, it is Monki, herself, who had encouraged me to write
the book and document my personal story, which had come
through a moment of devastation and immense sorrow. I
had just been evicted from my home in Lonehill, and I had
called Monki to make an appointment to see her. Because I
knew my mother was with her, as she was visiting for a few
days, I needed to break the news of my dire situation, gently,
and in a way that was not going to crush her spirit.
“Let us go for a walk,” I had asked them. My mother
enjoyed taking walks, so she had obliged, jubilantly. We had
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reached an open space – a soccer field – when I had decided
to talk to them. And, actually, I had also needed to sit down,
otherwise I was going to faint, and fall, from all the ensuing
trauma. I had duly sat on a large stone that formed part of
fencing off the pedestrians from walking onto the soccer
field. But, both my mother and sister had decided to stand.
After I had explained to them that, not only had I lost my
home, I also had lost my second business, my sister had
reacted in a way that I did not expect. “Oh! Eunice, you had
so much and you lost it all; so these things do happen? Who
would have known?”
Then there was complete silence.
After some time, my sister had asked, with apparent
compassion, “How are you going to survive this, Eunice?
You survived the first loss of your business. And, now, the
second one…? How are you going to get through this?
What do you want to do?”
“I want to write,” the words had burst out of my mouth.
“I want to write the pain away.”
“Did you hear that, Mme (mother)?” Monki had asked,
looking at my mother with excitement. “Eunice wants to
write; we are going to have an author in the family.” My
sister had then repeated this, several times, while also
jumping around and hugging my mother. “We are going to
have an author in the family.”
After her excitement had settled and being struck by the
reality of writing a book, she had asked me, solemnly, “How
can I help you? How can I make sure the book happens?
How are you going to go about it? How does it work…?”
“For the next six months, I am just going to be in my room,
and on my bed; just writing, and letting the pen bleed. All I
need from you is to be there for me, emotionally,’’ I had
explained to Monki.
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“Is that all? Okay, I will go further; I will cook and bring
food for you. You do not have to be concerned about what
you have to eat; just focus on writing,” Monki had then
reassured me, excitedly, and gave me a big hug, as if to seal
the deal.
Monki found us a room to rent in her complex in Fourways,
within walking distance from her home. Each morning, she
brought my husband and me breakfast before she left for
work. For dinner, she recommended that we come to her
home, essentially for me to get a break from writing. In
many ways, she had turned out to be more than I had
needed.
Writing my story had meant that I had to go through the
pain, all over again. The thought of this had filled me with
great fear. Monki is also the one who had memories of our
childhood, so I had to tap into her own recollections, as
well, so as to ignite mine. She had also challenged me to
revisit every emotional aspect of my story, including the
painful ones. She helped me to share my story from the
deepest of my being. The writing took longer than six
months; a year to be specific, and my sister had diligently
supported me, each step of the way, to the end.
And for this, I am grateful!
TABLE 3 – A BROTHER’S TABLE
It was a sunny, festive Friday afternoon when my brother,
Elia, had dropped by to visit my mother, joining the family
for lunch. Elia enjoyed the fact that we were back home –
my husband and me – staying with my mother. He
particularly liked the way I was looking after her and the
changes I had implemented in the house.
“The restaurant has come home”, he had always remarked,
joyfully, whenever I set the table and served the food.
However, something was on his mind this time and he
beckoned us to a discussion: “This is not a meeting, Mme;
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(mother), it is just a conversation.” He says, and reiterates,
“Ke moqoqo, feela – (it is just a chat).”
Then Elia had continued, “Something in my heart for the
coming year is to restore my family relationships,
particularly the relationship with my eldest daughter.” Then
he pondered, further, “As I was contemplating this, I had to
look back on how the relationships got to be where they
were; torn apart. This also led me to search for the root of
the problem. This is my subject matter for our discussion.”
As he had said, he was also posing a question to my mother;
“The pain and suffering in our family; where does it
come from, Mme (mother)?”
Setting the stage, he allocated time for the discussion,
appointing a chairperson and set the boundaries on the
extent of involvement in the discussion.
He had also welcomed my husband to the meeting as an
observer. As with all our family meetings, Elia had insisted
that we had to start off with a Scripture reading from the
Bible, and that we had to involve God, in prayer, to help us
see matters clearly, without being defensive and personal.
My mother had then related the issue of deep hurt and
bitterness back to when her father had refused her to pursue
a career as a teacher. This had become aggravated when my
father had also refused her request to study nursing after
they got married. When a neighbour recognised her
capabilities, and had invited my mother to go for training at
Vereeniging Hospital, again, my father had refused to sign
the forms. As fate would have had it, this had become yet
another opportunity missed. These two incidences had
filled her with a deep-seated resentment. As my mother
shared this truth about her relationships with the two
important men in her life – my grandfather, whom I
remember fondly, and my father, who had loved and adored
my mother – my brother, Elia, struggled to take it all in. This
discussion had finally led us to the source of my mother’s
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brokenness. None of us, her children, had ever bothered to
ask her – besides being our mother – what she had really
wanted to do with her life. Suddenly, I saw my eighty four
year old mother as really being more than just a mother, but
as a woman who once had personal dreams and aspirations,
but had sacrificed her deeply-held, innermost desires so that
we, as her children, attain our respective objectives.
My mother’s frank sharing of herself had made me want to
know more about her childhood, her relationship with her
mother and father, her youth, the interlude during which
she had dated my father, leading to her marriage and
motherhood. Listening to her story had also ignited a deep
compassion and made me understand who she really was.
This had brought to mind, these words by Somerset
Maugham:
“For men and women are not only themselves; they are the region in
which they were born, the (townships) and (homes) in which they
learned to walk, the games they played as children, the fairy tales they
overheard, the food they ate, the schools they attended, the sports they
played, the books they read and the God they believed in.”
You see, for a long time Elia had been telling us about his
pain, and no one in the family had ever heard or listened to
him – intently, with compassion, unconditional love and
keen understanding. And, for the first time, I was filled with
immense empathy for both my mother and brother.
Essentially, kindheartedness is something that I first had to
understand and continue to learn in my latter years.
Back to the table...
Even though the discussion was heavy and somber, the
meeting ended on a high note, having been buoyed by a
good meal. With my brother having a beautiful voice like
my mother, our family meetings are always rounded off with
a hymn. A hymn, not a chorus. We always carry our hymnals
when we go home in case there is a meeting and we need to
sing before and after the meeting. My mother’s Sesotho
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hymn is Ke Se Ke Utlwile Jesu Ha Ompitsa (I need Thee Every
Hour), Hymn 308 Difela Tsa Sione; and has become our
family’s sacred song. A family hymn is a must for each
family, and must be sung from the hymnal book, in full, for
the words to impart meaning to the family.
TABLE 4 – A MOTHER’S TABLE
One of the things that my mother had enjoyed, immensely,
during our stay with her – just before her passing – was the
family gathering together during meal times.
It is during one of our dinner sessions that my mother
remarks solemnly, “Since the two of you have been here,
there is something that I have noticed; whenever Eunice
tries to speak, you block her; what is it that you do not want
to be heard?” She pointed. The question was being directed
at my husband. In a voice that had grown to be soothing
and mellow over the years, my mother went on to introduce
the subject at hand. “You see, in the time that I will be
talking to both of you, I will be focusing mainly on one of
my own; that is you, Eunice, the one I am accountable for.”
So had begun a conversation that was to last a year, until my
mother’s passing. This conversation had turned out to form
a great part of helping me pick up the pieces of my broken
life; and which was one of the reasons why I had been
compelled to come back home, in the first place. My
mother was practical and had always exercised fairness in
her counsel; and – also – she never assumed a pious tone,
with the “I told you so” and would not even engage in any,
blame-pinning, Christianese jargon. But she listened to both
of us, always; without any judgment, seeking to understand
my situation, and to help us – as a couple – to muster the
ability, capability and maturity to speak to each other in a
civil way.
Ironically, I am from a family that had never sat around the
table to talk to one another. And, as a result if this, my
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communication skills where floppy and inadequate. In a
marriage which had already been full of immorality and all
the evil that comes with it, this was a huge handicap for my
voice. Like a double-edged sword, I took to fighting my way
through discussions with anger and aggression. And, for a
long time, I had justified this distasteful behaviour with the
pain the marriage had caused me.
Holding my hand gently and lovingly my mother would
address me first, “Eunice, sit down and be quiet.” Looking,
respectfully at my husband, she would ask, “What is it that
makes you want to so desperately prevent Eunice from
saying her piece? What are you hiding? You cannot be the
one that speaks all the time. You, each, must say what needs
to be said. You should allow Eunice to speak.”
Looking back at me, and with a stern voice, she would
instruct, “You do not have to stand up to be heard; nor do
you have to raise your voice with anger and disrespect. You
have to understand that you have a voice; use it. Not your
anger.” The training went on for many months, weeks and
days to come; until both of us – my husband and I – had
grasped the art of speaking to one another as human beings;
in a civil manner.
“Eunice, do not allow another person to take away your
dignity by responding to them in the way they treat you.
Your husband is purposefully provoking you. I can see it,
and I gather this is how he has been conducting himself in
the marriage, to distract you from the real problem. When
you respond to his provocation with disrespect, insults and
profanity, you are removing the attention from him and
taking it onto yourself. And that is how he has managed to
get away with so much harm,” She had said this,
emphatically, as the sessions became more real and
meaningful.
What my 84 year old mother was teaching me (at age 54)
was, emotional maturity; for one not to be unemotional, or to
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suppress how I felt, but – rather – to strive to be human
enough to uncover and own my emotions, and learn to
share and express these feelings appropriately. Turning to
my husband, she would then say, “If you want to rehabilitate
yourself, you must stop what you are doing to Eunice; for
your own sake, and as a human being. As a mother, I am
standing by Eunice for her decision to forgive you and stay
in the marriage. Even though I do not understand it, I
respect her decision to stay in the marriage. Like all of us
who have wronged others, God has forgiven you, as well. It
is up to you to receive it and use it to find healing for
yourself as, an individual. You must also decide as a man, if
you want out of the marriage. If it is so, you must be honest
to yourself and do so. If you want in, you must stop the
destructive games that you are playing. When you destroy
others, along the way you, you too, will get destroyed, as
well. As my son-in-law, that is not what I want for you.”
When the truth comes, it is like a storm, a blizzard and
drought, all in one. Suddenly, we could both see how
sickening the whole situation was. What has been okay was
no longer acceptable, and my mother was speaking the truth
into our marriage, and had turned things around. And,
because no one had said anything before – except the wishywashy
talks that had danced around the real issue of sin in
my marriage, for a long time – it had made the injustice
okay. And, as such, the ambiguity had been justifying the
continued exploitation of God’s mercy. My mother’s
unbiased approach had created a healthy platform for each
of us to face our demons. This is undoubtedly the greatest
lesson I have learned from her. The truth had finally
released and saved me from the cover-up I had lived for so
long.
If we beat about the bush and do not call sin what it is in
our discussions, time is wasted, wounds become deeper,
spirits are crushed, and – ultimately – souls are tainted.
Those who suffer more are our children, and their children.
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By observation, I had learned the art of skillful listening
from my mother. A good listener does more than just
understand the content of what is being said; instead, they
also listen to the context of what they are hearing. It is a
deeper kind of listening that tends to give you a better
outlook on what you are talking about.
I now have a voice!
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Family Dinners
“As we reconstruct our nation, we have to go back to the
core; the family. We must each find our own answer to the
question, ‘What is worth doing?’ As we become more
conscious of the present moment dropping through the hour
glass. What will be most rewarding and yield the highest
rate of enrichment to our lives? How will our legacy to family
measure our lives?” – Dr Lillian Carson – The Essential
Grand Parent.
This last chapter is dedicated to my brother, Elia Thebe
Rakhale, for the delicious meals we have shared, and for the
dedicated, real conversations we had, together with our late
mother. As he would say, as we tucked in, “the restaurant has
come home,” each time, always bringing joy to the family table!
C
OMING HOME
The circumstances of my life led to my becoming
insolvent and destitute, and I had to go back home
to my mother’s house in Moletsane, Soweto.
Reflecting on my life and what had led me to the present
situation, I realised that my mother had many reasons to
wag a finger of, “I told you so,” yet she did not.
With most of the hardships we encounter in life, the
warning signs are always there, but we choose to overlook
these and later blame others, instead; which is exactly what
I did, for a long time, blaming my husband – in particular –
for all my failures! When my mother and three other people
(this had occurred at different times), cautioned me about
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my marriage and the decision I was taking, their warnings
had fallen on deaf ears.
First, it was my uncle, Rangwane Tyelele, who had been
concerned was that I had tended to take things at face value,
and he had wished that I should give myself more time to
think things through, especially before getting married. My
uncle did not divulge the strong basis of his concern at the
time, but had given me a few examples to nudge me in the
right direction, as it were. Of course, I did not listen to him,
and I had dismissed his advice. Strike one. Rangwane
Tyelele was a very smart man and a forward thinker. Just
like my mother, he had a great sense of humour, making it
easier for him to talk about sensitive matters. He was
concerned that my parents were invested in church activities
more than the family. And he was puzzled by the apparent
disconnect between our parents and us, as their children.
This had hurt him, deeply, that I was about to make what
he had viewed as the worst decision of my life. But,
consumed with being married and leaving my parents’
home, I did not pay attention to his counsel.
Later on, in my marriage – when problems began to surface
– in one of his good-humoured moments, after he had
probed, once again, about my situation – and, upon
receiving disconcerting news – he had remarked, “Ausi
(referring to my mother), I knew this guy was never going to value your
daughter. What prospective husband buys their bride a wall clock as a
first personal gift? This was a clear indication that this is what he
thought of Eunice; something with which to decorate his surroundings.
No matter where he went, when he comes back, the clock would still be
hanging, beautifully, on the wall.”
Sadly, this is how my marriage had panned out. For any
disagreement we had, no matter how trivial or grave, my
husband would walk away and disappear for days on end,
without me knowing where he was. This had become more
like our life dance. Once an argument had erupted, I would
also chase him away, before he would have walked out.
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Chasing him away was the only thing I had power over in
our marriage. I could not control the infidelity, but I could
control his stay or departures, because – in the household –
I was the one with more financial power.
You see, like so many women, I had made the common
mistake of buying a family home for a man, much against
the counsel of some wise women in my life. As a community
nurse in Soweto, I had worked with a colleague who had
been strongly opposed to the notion of women buying
homes for their men, often arguing that this was the
responsibility of the man to find a home for his family. In
her explanation she had argued along this following line, “If
you take away that basic responsibility from a man, you are
taking away everything else that comes with his role as a
husband. It unintentionally emasculates him. An
emasculated man functions from a position of working
against God’s natural order.
“In the natural eye, it looks and feels like your husband is
working against you, criticising, humiliating and
incapacitating you, and even seemingly standing in the way
of whatever good you are doing for the benefit of the family,
including him. “On a deeper level, he is wrestling with who
he really is in the marriage, if not the provider, the leader
and head of the family. His energy and focus are
inadvertently reversed and directed at creating chaos. After
all, the relationship is operating against the order of who the
husband is in the marriage.” The flip side of this, though,
was that – on my side – I had taken over the role when I
had realize that my husband was never going to lead. At
first, it was easy and doable. I made things happen for the
family and we both benefited and seemed to be enjoying the
fruits of my labour, together. But, as time went on, I had
noticed changes in the dynamics of our marriage.
I had stripped him of his manhood and his role!
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The more I succeeded, the more the immoral activities had
surfaced; and these had spawned more disruptions and
more ridicule in my marriage. Soon, my life became a huge
success on a heap of decomposition; a heap that had stayed
on, untouched, for the next thirty years.
As the years went by, the stench of the decomposing heap
had infiltrated every aspect of my life; my personal space,
my family, friends and the business, itself. My life was now
ruled and dominated by chaos and disorder. Even though I
was a dedicated, practicing Christian – going to Bible classes
and serving as an elder in the church, and so on – I knew,
with absolute certainty, that God was not part of this façade,
because He is a God of order!
Before the chaos had ensued, being in the forefront was
slowly becoming exhausting and burdensome. I spent my
life playing a double role of a man and a woman in the
marriage. That is, operating against the order of who I was,
as a person, and as a wife. And, soon, it had all become too
much.
Forgetting everything else about the history and dynamics
of our marriage, I wanted a quick fix; especially a dire need
for my husband to take over his responsibility, and lead.
This made our problems more complex. I was now
expecting something that I had never asked of him and from
him, in the first place. This had left him confused and angry,
while I became frustrated and worn out.
The rhythm of the dance of our life had now coalesced into
a concoction of toxicity. I must admit, though, that the signs
that the relationship was not right had always been there. In
fact, from the very first time I met my husband, I knew
something was off; but I had chosen to ignore the warning
signs. The way we met was an indication of the course of
our relationship and our marriage, and what would pan out
into a life of deception!
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I was on a weekend off and travelling home to Soweto by
train from the Boksburg-Benoni Hospital (now known as
the Tambo Memorial Hospital) in Benoni, where I was
training to be a nurse. I had just alighted at Park Station to
get groceries, when – suddenly – someone caught my eye
and greeted me, and said he knew me. I looked at him and
the face looked familiar, but was certain I had never met
him. I was certain about this, because – being a writer – I
am also gifted with a rich photographic memory. When I
meet people, and have conversations with them, I pay
attention to the circumstances, each backdrop and all the
different, minute things; like how they are dressed and the
food that was served, and what the conversation that would
have entailed. I recall all these different details; and I
remember things, situations; and, most of all, I remember
people. The point is, I did not recall ever meeting this man
– who would later become my husband – but, on that fateful
day, I fell for the lie, and gave him my details. It was a
Saturday morning when we met, and he had promised to
come and see me, that same afternoon. Indeed, he came,
but I was concerned about the fact that I did not know him,
yet he said he knew me. He confessed and dismissed this as
a little lie that he had told me so that he could get my contact
details.
The reason his face had looked familiar, as he had explained,
was that he was then on billboards and magazines,
advertising a popular soft drink. Indeed, I had remembered
seeing the billboards and magazine adverts, and the fact that
that is where I might have seen him. But this did not sit well
with me. He could have just asked for my details, and I
would have given these to him. He was tall, well-dressed and
good-looking. Even though it was not love at first sight for
me, I liked him, and would have given him my details. He
did not have to lie.
I had explained this to him and convinced myself that it
might be just this one little lie. Or was it? And, yet, I had
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gone ahead and pursued a relationship with him. This little
occurrence of deception was always at the back of my mind
and it had kept on troubling me; but I did not know what
to do with it, or how to handle it. Without realising it, I had
accepted it and it had become part of the foundation of our
relationship; and it would later haunt our marriage and life.
Thirty years later, as I was reflecting on my life, I came to
realise that accepting that small lie was when I had begun to
set myself up for failure!
I did not know anything about values and morality. No one
had ever taught me what to look for in a man. My parents
never talked to one another or to us. We never even ate
together; so how we could even talk about anything, let
alone about what to look for in a relationship.
I focused on all those crucial aspects that I had missed out
in my childhood, topmost among which was leadership
from someone together with whom I could build a solid
family, with strong foundations. You see, because he was
older than me and with more life experience, I had assumed
that my husband had the qualities that would guide and lead
the family in the right direction – a father figure and role
model that my children could look up to. But, sadly,
sometimes an assumption can be as good as a mere guess.
Greatness, wholesomeness, leadership and being a role
model had collectively formed just an idea of him that I
created in my head. And, for the next thirty years or so, I
spent my time trying to make this idea to become real. Of
course, it never did. My husband possessed many good
qualities that I had admired and enjoyed. He loves to cook
and has a refined flavoursome palate. He is a courteous
entertainer and, therefore, a good host. It is these qualities
that made us go into the restaurant business together.
For the Strike two, it was my former school teacher and
mentor, who was a speaker at the wedding, and had also
raised a warning sign. Just before the ceremony had
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commenced, he had called me to the side; and I was thinking
to myself that he had wished to discuss the programme; and
he had said, “Eunice, I want you to understand me clearly;
I think the wedding must go ahead, but I am recommending
strongly that you go for marital counselling after the wedding;
otherwise, you are not going to be able to pull this off.
Please understand; I am not saying(that) you must not get
married; it is too late now. All that I am requesting is for you
to go for counselling.”
I cannot recall my exact answer, but I have an idea of the
gist of it; it was something to the effect that, “I am old
enough and, therefore, also mature enough to know what I
am doing,” and, I also threw in the word “smart” in, there.
Once again, I had dismissed the counsel and never went for
counselling.
The teacher, Mr Maphosa, was not only my English teacher
at Musi High School in Pimville, Soweto; but he was also
my neighbour. His love for literature is the reason I am a
writer and publisher. He turned a boring book like Shane,
which was our set work, into a beautiful piece of work.
Unlike other subject teachers, he never carried a bag to class,
just one book per class, per subject. Immaculately dressed
at all times, Mr Maphosa was also a good family man, with
strong Christian values and a Minister of the word of God,
who specialised in youth motivation and consolidating
marriages. In essence, what my former school teacher was
saying was that I must involve God in the marriage, so that
it can be founded on His principles. He had recognisd the
loopholes, but had also understood that God could fix
them, if we consult Him from the beginning of our error. I
did not go for counselling, nor did I pray for our marriage.
As has been mentioned, already, I knew nothing about
prayer, nor about involving God in my daily life, or even
reading the Scriptures. This was all foreign in our family.
My parents attended a church organisation where Bible
reading or praying together as a family had just not been a
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part of the church structure. It was more like a cult, with an
emphasis on honouring and obeying the leadership and the
church rules; not Christ centered at all. So, all what Mr
Maphosa was saying at that time, was foreign to me; and, as
a result, I did not heed his words of wisdom. So I had lived
to regret this, as my marriage crumbled, taking no prisoners!
The preparations continue and during the hectic activities
my mother takes my hand and leads me to a corner. This
particular incident is still so vivid in my mind that I
remember the exact place where we were standing: “Eunice,
I have some information that tells me this marriage is at
great risk. You can continue to date, but there are things
you need to know and be prepared for, before you commit
yourself to this marriage. Should you want to call off the
wedding I will support you, it is not too late.”
As with the previous incidence, I do not remember the
answer I gave my mother. I recall many things about my life,
but this one thing I do not remember. The fact is I dismissed
the advice and the wedding went ahead! Strike 3.
More than thirty years later I find myself back home. Back
home because I disobeyed my mother and got married
against her advice. I was also disobedient and ignored
counsel regarding my marriage from two other loving
elders, my uncle (Strike 1) and former school teacher Mr
Maphosa(Strike2). And because of this disobedience
disaster befell me. The bible is full of warnings against the
consequences of disobedience, and overflowing with
highlights regarding the rewards of obedience. Going back
home in my old age, gave me an opportunity to make it right
with my beloved mother. And my life at 65 is back on track
and for this I am grateful!
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I COME HOME
Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
I come home, broken and wounded.
I come home, my soul bruised; black-and-blue.
I come home; you mend the pieces,
Trim the edges with old fragile hands.
Tenderly, you straighten up the creases.
I come home to fingers not wagging,
“I told you so.”
I come home to the soothing of my soul.
I come home to the dressing of my shattered spirit.
I come home to retrieve my stolen voice,
A voice stolen by deceit.
A silent voice!
I come home to my fullness as a woman.
I come home to the choices of years gone by.
In the same corner, you guide us into making it right.
Without bias, you diligently counsel.
I come home to goodness.
Often, we form family business relationships without
putting proper mechanisms in place. As opposed to other
business relations, this one we take for granted. Most great
business empires are built around families. A family working
together must start off with building a formal relationship.
This can be ascertained by: Having regular family meetings,
acknowledging each other’s strengths and weaknesses,
creating boundaries, learning to relate and speak to each
other beyond each other’s personalities and egos; speaking
to one another as you would to another colleague; and by
instituting formal arrangement of your positions and job
descriptions. This process must be embarked upon as soon
as the vision of the family business is planted in your hearts;
that is, during the planning stages.
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Failure to address outstanding personal matters, and hoping
that the business will wish them away, is a recipe for the
demise of the business before it could even start. It is more
like prep in the kitchen, before we open for service. In that
particular scenario, the process of addressing personal
matters is tedious and draining, but worthwhile in the long
run.
My husband and I had embarked on intense workshops as
a family when we started the business. Unfortunately, these
workshops were masked with a lot of insincerity regarding
the sin of immorality in our marriage. We never got to the
root of this particular sin of immorality; and, without
realising, we had subconsciously carried the baggage into the
business. To cope with this baggage, I spent my entire life
putting up a façade for things to look perfect.
We looked like a perfect couple, while – inside – our souls
were eaten away by immorality. I had failed to follow the
teachings of the workshops sincerely, myself, because I was
afraid and not ready to face what was going on in my
marriage. I was afraid to face the truth of infidelity in my
marriage, knowing that, once I had confronted this truth, I
would have had to act, even if it had meant getting divorced.
Also, I was afraid to be alone; with myself. I could never see
myself on my own – as an individual – outside my marriage.
Because I also did not know whom I really was, I had
defined myself through the person I was married to,
together with whatever came with that package; the good
and bad. Subsequently, I lost myself and all that I had been
created and meant to be.
This brought a lot of sadness to those who loved me;
particularly my mother and my children. And it made my
elder sister, Monki, angry; especially the fact that I had put
my life in the hands of another human being; and, this, at
whatever cost.
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With reflection, I can now understand where my dearest
sister, Monki, was coming from. And I think that this might
also have made God sad, as well; that He had created me
and given me all these beautiful talents and creativity; and
that, in turn, I was throwing all of it in His face; recklessly
focusing on, and being consumed by another being.
And this had nothing to do with me loving my husband or
being committed to the institution of marriage. It was just
an emotional entanglement; a mishmash that had been
brought about by a marriage full of immorality. Being afraid
to confront reality had cost me dearly!
More than losing the business, it had also come just short
of leading to me losing my own soul! This great loss had
come to the point of forcing me to make drastic changes in
how I could handle reality and the truth, onwards. And, as
you read this, I am painstakingly putting all the necessary
mechanisms in place, addressing problems for what these
really are. I no longer shy away from tackling disquieting
concerns; thus echoing the saying;
“If you do not deal with what is going on, it will keep coming back to
you.”
I now have a broader perspective of things beyond myself,
not engaging in “Rabbit Chase” discussions. As a result, our
family and business meetings have ceased to be personalitybased
brawls and tournaments. There is now order in my
life. This time around, order is not maintained by control
and manipulation, except sincere expression of feelings and
thoughts. The benefits of working together, as a family, are
enormous. You have a common cause and you use your
strengths, as individuals, to benefit one another.
It is, and has been a great privilege for me to be surrounded
by, and to work with my family. I have been able to draw
from their strengths. However, the great challenge has been
seen whenever personal matters happened to overlapped
into the business. After much turbulence and great anguish,
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and being unable to change my circumstances, I was forced
to reexamine my life. I had to go to the root of why things
did not go right in the first place.
I did not listen to my mother’s advice regarding my
marriage. I even got married without her blessing; and,
in doing so, I also married without God’s blessing.
Returning to live at my home, where I had been raised, also
gave me an opportunity to ask for forgiveness from my
mother. The irony of this was that my mother had
completely forgotten about the strike three incidence. In
forgiving me, my mother had to be on God’s side; and she
also had to take us in – both – to help us back, up, onto our
feet. She spent the last year of her life guiding us through
family impartial talks.
For family discussions to be successful, you must be
committed and willing to talk things through. Work at the
myriad disputes when it is easy and also when it is difficult,
as some of these issues take different forms, leaving you
lonely at times, and mostly emotionally and physically
drained. Nevertheless, allow these different life posers to
have their own demands and momentum; go with their
flow. Know that it is part of the process; and, in the end,
tackling the various concerns, as and when these may come,
does bring healing. The family conversations must be led
through Scripture and prayer. If not, they are doomed to
failure.
I need to also mention that, before these family
conversations, I had followed the conventional route of
finding solutions. I had numerous counselling sessions at
different denominations; and I had drowned myself in
several, different prayer groups; and I also went for
hypnotherapy and had self-medicated with over-thecounter
medication. All in vain! It was only when I had really
started “talking” that I began to see progress. First, I had to
learn to talk to God, openly and truthfully, without any
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theatrical performances, and without any pious façade.
Then, I had to talk with, and to myself; and I had to do this
without hiding behind my emotions of anger.
Finally, there had to be a “talking” to my family, starting with
my mother, then I had to open up to my children. In talking
to the children, I had to let go of arrogance; and to
relinquish the idea of always wanting to be right. This was
the advice that my mother had given me before her passing.
“Eunice, O ikokobetse ka dinako tsohle (humble yourself at all
times) when you talk to the children,” my late mother had
counselled me, in preparation for my meetings with the
children. “You must forget about being right, and ask for their
forgiveness for hurting them.”
In God’s true order, the conversation that was supposed to
happen urgently was with my eldest child, my son; and,
thankfully, my daughter, Mothei, had taken the initiative and
set the related discussion in motion. In essence, Mothei took
over from where my mother had left off, and had nudged
me in the right direction by making sure the first dreaded
appointment happened.
My son, like myself is finicky about formality, punctuality
and order. We had agreed that – for our meetings to be
beneficial in restoring our relationship – we had to meet
regularly, over a period of time. We met once a week for
about six weeks; from ten, in the morning, until around
twelve; and we spoke candidly and sincerely about his
childhood; how I had raised him, and about the decisions I
had taken along the way. We also embraced both the
valuable and somewhat flawed decisions I had made. My
mother’s advice became my saving grace in the discussions
I had with my son. I had to humble myself, and forget about
being right, and just listen to my son.
But, as could have been predicted, I struggled between
listening and being defensive. But, by the grace of God, I
made it through our first meeting. Subsequent meetings
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with my son brought me face-to-face with who I was as a
parent; that is, from his perspective; and, definitely, not
from the way I had been seeing myself, as a parent. The
reality made me see the pain and hurt I had caused him, and
I was filled with Godly sorrow!
The pain was too difficult for both me and my distraught –
but now healing son, leaving us both emotionally drained
and worn-out. I had learnt about this later from my daughter
in law and my daughter, as we reflected on our healing as a
family. We both could not comment about our meetings to
them except being so drained that all we could do was sleep
on the days after our discussions. The meetings took
different turns, from walk-outs, angry outbursts, to tons of
tears. We both painfully allowed the process to take its
course. Sadly, this is the part that families fear the most.
Grueling as it was, my son and I were committed to talking
things through.
The workshops, as we came to call these family meetings, just
like losing the restaurants, brought me to my knees. I had to
pray for God to give me courage and understanding.
Someone reading this should understand that this sadness
was eventually going to bring joy; therefore, it was critical
for me to endure each painful moment. I got to understand
what the Apostle, Paul, had meant when he described his
joy in 2 Corinthians 7:10: “Godly sorrow brings repentance that
leads to salvation and leaves no regret; but worldly sorrow brings
death.” Worldly sorrow is when we feel sorry for ourselves.
God was showing me the mistakes I had made as a parent;
not to penalise me, or because I was a bad mother; and was,
rather, giving me an opportunity to make amends with my
children. For the resultant healing to happen, I did not need
to feel sorry for myself; but I had to feel the sadness of God
in my children’s pain, instead. Feeling sorry for ourselves is
what stands in the way of healing for our families.
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I have come to learn about all of these wonderful revelations
as God navigates me through the process of healing for my
family. With this healing also came the realisation that I had
parented from the fear of poverty; meaning that, any efforts
I had made as a parent was to avert situations in which my
children would have to endure being without food, having
malnutrition-related diseases and going to school without
shoes or warm clothing in winter. I had become consumed
and driven by the need to overcome poverty to the point of
neglecting the basics of just being in the proverbial
“presence” and “moment” with my children. Thankfully,
the family talks gave me an opportunity to heal my povertyrelated
wounds, about which I had not been aware, all along.
No matter how big or small the problem, you must start the
conversation. Delaying the conversation for 30 years, like I
had, is rescheduling imminent calamity. You will need
prayer though; because, without prayer it is impossible to
talk; even about mundane things. God loves families;
therefore, He helps us whenever we try to restore these, and
gives us the Grace to endure.
Sadly, four years after my mother’s passing, I finally faced the
reality that – after more than 30 years – there was no
repentance regarding this sin in my marriage. To avoid
further harm, I got out of the marriage. This was done
peacefully – and without anger, bitterness or any profanity
– but, with goodwill. We separated!
Today, I refer to my separation with sadness; because,
whatever the circumstances may be, God hates divorce.
Divorce grieves God; especially when families get torn
apart; and that is a fact I cannot shy away from. And, for
this I am filled with Godly sorrow, even though I am the
one who had chosen to initiate the separation. But, truly,
separation happened in my marriage, not because of the
wrongs that had happened, but because our hearts were too
hard to repent and change. The Word of God tells us that it
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is because of the hardening of the hearts that Moses had
allowed divorce.
Divorce was never God’s plan. As Christians, in justifying
ourselves, we may overlook this; but, the truth is that my
marriage fell apart in spite of God’s forgiveness of the ills
of the marriage, but because of the refusal to repent. With
unrepentance, our hearts became hard and cruel.
God is big on petitionary prayer; therefore, we should
always pray for our families; and, also, we should cherish the
requisite remedial conversations. For a start, one should declare
their purpose to all the family members, so that each
member should have the same objective, and be on the
same page. Once this occurs, healing comes and you will
surely be celebrating new beginnings for generations to
come.
Come in peace and understand what peace means.
Peace is not pretending that a problem does not exist.
HEALTHY FAMILY TRADITIONS
“All our feelings are useful if we are aware of them and reasonably
comfortable with them; because, then, we can handle them. But, if we
screen them off first, they are not available when we need them; and,
second, when the screen slips up and they escape, they may do damage
because we have no control over them.” – Robin Skynner and John
Cleese, Families and How to Survive Them.
As part of preparation for restoration, you will need to
cultivate healthy family traditions. This can be achieved by
adopting new ways of relating to one another; and this
entails the following pointers:
Protocol should be observed at all times. Protocol is
vital. It is God’s way of creating order in the family, and is
sacred. When we do not observe protocol in our families,
we are defying God’s order; and, without order, chaos
ensues. For the conversations to work out, there must be
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order. God is orderly; and, where there is no order, there is
no God.
Respect is necessary to create a conducive atmosphere for
even the deepest feelings to be shared, truthfully and freely.
Before things can be right in our relationships, we must
listen, and comprehend the pain which would be expressed when
we start speaking out.
With respect, those that you have hurt can articulate their
pain to you without you being their casualty. Respect is one
critical point my mother had always emphasised. For me,
the most important protocol-related act, was, mainly, to
respect my sister, Monki, as she was the eldest of the
siblings, and in the family, after both of our parents had
passed on.
On this occasion, I was on my way to a conference in the
Free State and had asked my mother to pray for my trip and
bless me. Rather than pray, my mother went on to talk about
respect. Calling in my brother to be present as a witness, she
continued, “respect your sister, Monki, then it will go well
with you, Eunice. There is a reason why she was born in this
order, as the eldest. First, before you.’’
And, for good measure, she had reiterated the last part,
“…she was born in this order, as the eldest. First, before you.”
Growing up in my home, there were never discussions of
this nature; so I was a little baffled, as Monki was not even
around at the time.
Also – as I had thought to myself – this subject had come
from nowhere – and it was not even related to my imminent
trip, or anything else, for that matter. As I walked to the car,
I had remarked to my husband, “What a strange talk; it
sounds like Mme is giving me her last words of instructions.”
Because my mother was well and there was no sign of
anything bad about to happen, I made nothing of this
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strange talk, and – as had been expected – unsuspectingly
went to the conference.
But, unbeknown to me that these words – through which
she had exhorted me to respect others, especially my sister,
Monki – were going to be her last instructional verses for
me. And, tragically, the next time I would see my mother
again, after the conference, was to bury her. Looking back,
I realised that lack of respect amongst us as her children was
one factor that had bothered her a lot, and, surely, that is
why she had chosen to talk about this as a last will of
testament.
Until then, I had not even realised how disrespectful I had
been to my elder sister, Monki. After my mother’s passing,
I shared this conversation with my sister, and had further
explained how remorseful I was for having disrespecting her
for all those years. But, as I had mentioned, earlier, Monki
has a healthy sense of humour; and, in one of our family
discussions, I dropped the ball and she remarked, jokingly,
“listen to how you are speaking to me, Eunice; you are back
to your old ways. Now, where is the respect that you were
talking about?” Laughing, I had responded, “Aus’ Monki,
change does not come overnight; you are going to have to
bear with me as I unlearn this bad trait of disrespect.”
It has been seven years since then, and respect is still my
daily struggle. Now that I am aware and mindful, I can see
myself, whenever I talk to people disrespectfully, and –
immediately – I change gears. I am now able to say what
needs to be said to my sister without disrespecting her.
Disrespect is fatal, and is one of the diseases that most
families are infested with. In some families, disrespect is
masked with fear. Parents are fearful to tell their children
when they are wrong. Terrified of potentially aggressive
retaliation from their children, they succumb to whatever
immoral behavior their children engage in. Furthermore, the
family discussions must involve affirming each other and
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being sympathetic to one another’s pain; without any
disrespect overshadowing any possible reconciliation, and
healing!
Forgiveness is God’s prerogative> Our nature is not
inclined to forgive; it is only God who can make us forgive
the people who may have hurt us. Because of the complexity
of forgiveness, during the struggle to forgive others, it is
important to acknowledge the difficulty to God. Ideally, one
should say, “Lord, I know you want me to forgive so and so. But I
am unable to.” And, then, one should continue in prayer, “I
am filled with hate and resentment for this person and I do not want
to feel this way, but I do.”
Then, God will purge you of these ill feelings; especially, if
you are honest and do not camouflage these troubled
emotions with self-righteousness. In forgiveness, God is the
hero; not us. Therefore, we cannot even pride ourselves
regarding the people we have forgiven. If we do, this would
be coming from a place of self-righteousness.
Forgiveness is from God; for us. It for those we have hurt and
for those who have hurt us. The more we understand this,
the lesser we will boast. Without openness, the closureseeking
discussions are pointless and time wasting;
therefore, there should also be no deception.
Deception is evil no matter what and how you label it. It
starts with trivial things like surprises. Surprise party, surprise
birthday etc. etc. The truth of the matter is, you have to
deceive the person to be able to surprise them. Be wary of
surprises, they are a sly way of training us on how to deceive
each other. For me deception sneaked into my life through
covering up the wrongs in my marriage. Over the years the
more I covered up the more covering up was necessary. And
the more skillful I became in covering up.
Soon, without noticing, deception became the nature of
how I related to people. I could never say what I want to
say and what I was saying was never what I really meant.
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This is typical of a person with a mask, when talking to me,
you didn’t really know who you were talking to; therefore, to you, what
I was talking about could never be really what I was talking about.
Unlearning and taking this out of my system has been my
greatest and toughest challenge. Thankfully, as I practice
being sincere it gets better and easier. You must humble
yourself and admit your weakness. Humility is not thinking
less of yourself, which is low self-esteem. Humility is putting
the needs of others before your own, whether you are right
or wrong.
Control and manipulation: As you go along with this
exercise of learning to talk to one another, check your
motives by constantly asking yourself, “why am I bringing
up this issue? And, “why am I saying this?” This will help to
eradicate the need to control and manipulate others; and, in
so doing, misdirecting the purpose of your reconciliatory
encounters.
Avoid gossip: especially when this is disguised as a prayer
request or sending a scripture reading, especially for the purposes of a
“Prayer of Agreement”.
If you feel the need to pray for someone, pray to God –
directly – for them, as and when such a thought comes.
Then you will not need to tell others to pray on the matter.
The same applies with Scripture; as the scripture may have
captured your mind and heart because it is meant for you;
and to either direct, correct or encourage you. If you send
this to someone else, you miss the opportunity for God’s
guidance, correction or encouragement for yourself. In
essence, you are simply missing the point.
The people to whom you are sending scripture would most
probably have a Bible in their home, they listen to the radio,
they watch television, they read books, and they hear other
people talking about the scriptures. So, somehow, they are
exposed to the word. All you can do for them is to allow the
scripture and any corresponding prayer to transform you, so
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that – as per God’s answer to your related prayer – they may
in turn, desire this transformation you may be seeking for
them from the Almighty. However, if your motive is pure,
then it is all is good. Check your motive first! That is all I
am saying.
Family restoration comes at a cost. If you become that one
person in the family willing to pay the price, God will
honour you and rescue your family.
Peace is everything, therefore come in peace! If you
desire reconciliation for your family, you must become a
peacemaker. Understanding that peacemaking is not
running away from the problem by pretending that it does
not exist; thus burying the problem so to speak.
Peacemaking is also not appeasement, which is being a
pacifier. Be patient as others slowly come along,
understanding that some of them will retaliate and choose
to cease talking to you, preferring to relate to you through
the old means of manipulation and deception.
Give them their space and wait on God. They will come
around as God brings understanding to them, the same way
he had done for you and me. Sadly, most of our families are
ill-equipped and unskilled in handling conflict. There is no
culture of talking sincerely to one another, let alone talking
about problems in the family. Our children must be taught
conflict resolution by demonstration. They must see us
resolving matters through family discussions, ideally around
the dinner table. We must demonstrate to them that when
we are eating together, we are breaking bread and, therefore,
establishing peace.
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INGREDIENTS FOR REAL CONVERSATIONS
RULES OF ENGAGEMENT
My Mother’s Legacy: Earlier on, I spoke about having had
to go back to my home, to my mother in Moletsane,
Soweto. I had used this time to collect and document her
recipes; trying, tasting and testing these for accuracy and
authenticity. It is during the exchange of these recipes that
the stories about my grandparents had surfaced and the
memories of her youth had been ignited. I had ended up
not only collecting recipes, but had also gathered the
ingredients to rebuild my family. Below are some of those
ingredients.
Shame based spirituality: By sharing her personal stories,
she allowed my husband and me to see the genuine human
side of her. She spoke and talked to us like ordinary people
talk with no pious accent and self-righteousness.
Her great sense of humour, which she revealed through
her daily life experiences, and had always made us laugh a
lot, especially during these painful family meetings.
Credible counsel: She led my husband and I on the
journey towards the truth, but – in the process – had
allowed us to come to our own conclusions. She was honest,
even-handed and fair in her dealings with us, making her
counsel credible.
Hearing about her mistakes elevated our respect for her
counsel. There was no desire in her to be the hero; except
to ensure that we come out healed. Regrettably, the older
we get the more fragile we become in our reactions. We
become more tedious, stubborn and shaky. Not so with my
mother!
She demonstrated to me that it was okay to acknowledge
one’s mistake to your children. And I witnessed her making
changes in her life in her eighties, and thus living a
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transformed, repentant life. Because of her, it has become
easy for me to acknowledge my own wrongdoings to my
own children. Her affirmations made it easier for us, my
husband and me, to want to change and do things
differently for our marriage.
Commitment to talking: It was important to her for us to
understand why we needed to listen to each other and
commit to talking our marital problems out of our system.
Pain has no size: Another valuable ingredient is
understanding that pain has no size. It does not matter what
the cause may have been, for as long as there is pain, the
impact is the same. Any hurt that has left one with an eroded
self-worth and a changed personality remains exactly that;
hurt. You cannot size it up or compare it. If you do, you are
causing more harm.
Furthermore, the details of the problem do not matter.
Many a time, we get boggled up with wanting to know the
specifics of what may have really happened. There are only
two things we can do to help one another. First, it is to walk
alongside those who are hurting; at their pace. Unless you have
gone through what another person has experienced you may
have no authority to advice, but to listen, lovingly; and also
not telling them how and what to feel. Second, one should stay
with them while they are still at the scene of the misfortune; that is,
until they are ready, and able to move on.
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TABLE TALKER
Ingredients of a disagreement
It is important to realise that in each different family
disagreement there are always the same two ingredients. An
issue and various viewpoints. The issue is usually
objective and fair; and this usually involves principles. The
viewpoints – on the other hand – are subjective and biased.
Also, these tend to involve personalities; and, therein, lies
the sum and substance of most family clashes; most of
which could be defined as mere disagreements over issues
because of opposing viewpoints.
As you seek healing for your family in your conversations,
do not get trapped by personal opinions. It is mainly the
principle that needs to be discussed. Removing your
personality from a discussion will help you to focus on the
principle; and, therefore, benefit the discussion. Each family
member around the dinner table must remember this; the
issue is not about your personal viewpoint, other than the principle.
This must be emphasised, prayerfully, throughout the
process.
Finally, you must be prepared to take the risk for a
principle. While this may come at a cost, it is worth it in the
end; especially for the benefit of your family’s legacy.
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FAMILY PRAYERS MEETINGS
THE SAVING GRACE
As things were getting bad an ugly in my marriage, out of
desperation I made this simple prayer; “Lord, whatever may
happen in this marriage, please protect my MIND, and keep me
sane.” Afterwards, I had immediately felt relieved, and
trusted that God would, indeed, protect my mind. From
then, on, every morning, I repeated the above prayer over
and over again: Lord please protect my MIND, and keep
me sane. While my spirit hummed the lyrics of the song, Till
The Storm Passes by written by Thomas Mosie Lister:
In the dark of the midnight have I oft hid my face
While the storm howls above me, and there's no hiding place
'Mid the crash of the thunder, Precious Lord, hear my cry
Keep me safe till the storm passes by
, till the thunder sounds no more
Till the clouds roll forever from the sky
Hold me fast, let me stand in the hollow of Thy hand
Keep me safe till the storm passes by.
Then, slowly, I added other troubling issues on my prayer
list. Soon, the list turned into discussion subjects.
Essentially, from the one who created me, I wanted a
firsthand understanding of what was going on in my life. I
am a reader; so, for things to make sense to me, I feel that I
must read about them.
So, before each prayer session, I looked for the subject
matter at hand from the Concordance of my Bible and
would then study the relevant passage. For clarity, I would
sometimes read the passage two to three times. I also
wanted to know what the Old Testament had to say about
the matter if my reading was from the New Testament, and
vice versa.
Then the prayer times became longer, informative and
enlightening. The Bible made sense of my senseless world,
and no subject was off limits. This new, suddenly energised
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and truly positive relationship with God and His stimulating
Word in my prayers, meditations and spiritual reflections
did not necessarily give me any quick fix solutions. In most
instances, it only helped me understand what was going on,
and gave me guidelines on how to navigate through the
prevailing difficulties. But I liked the fact that this spiritual
rapport with God was sustaining me through my insane life.
As the problems of my marriage, business and personal life
became more complex, I would sometimes find that I could
not even read the Bible. I then incorporated hymns in my
prayer time; not choruses, but a hearty singing of full hymns.
After singing all the verses in the hymns, I studied each
verse to see how these may have been applicable to my
situation at that time. Now, I had a third tool to sustain me;
the hymns.
My three weapons to ward off evil, sustain me through a
sin-filled haze and maze and to sustain my sanity were my
daily prayers, reading and meditating on the Scriptures in
the Bible and a heartfelt daily singing of hymns. Just like the
Bibles, in several, different versions, I have a collection of
hymn books; so this was easy to implement.
Even though my life remained chaotic and insane my daily
life had order, because I always started off with prayer. At
some point, I thought to myself, “imagine if I could
structure this prayer life and make it a fundamental part of
my lifestyle?’ I then did just that; and, slowly, this new
lifestyle of praise and worship, prayer, meditation and
reflection had then started to bring stability into my life,
irrespective of whatever else was going on.
The prayer meetings are now a regular in my daughter,
Mothei’s household, and like her mother, my granddaughter,
Aminah enjoys these spiritually uplifting
meetings, as they make the Bible a relevant tool for her
personal life. Once a week, without fail, we set aside time –
at least an hour and thirty minutes – for family prayers. The
meetings are planned and structured, and we all look
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forward to these sitting, for which we select a Book in the
Bible as a storyline that is relevant to Aminah’s children’s
Bible, as well. To ensure full participation by all, each person
has a role to play.
After we have sang a hymn, one person opens in prayer;
then two of us read a passage from both the adult and
children’s versions of the Bible.
To put the related passage into context, one must read the
summary of the Book, identifying the author and
determining as to whom it could have been written. After
summarising the passage, we identify the lesson in context.
Individually, we explain how the passage might be applying
to our personal lives, and our present situations, as well.
One person would then close in prayer.
Breaking Bread: In addition to prayer, our family meal
table is now a provision for us to partake in Holy
Communion, served as Jesus had intended it to be. NOT
the way it has been made out to be - a separate ceremony
outside of the ordinary eating table. Each time I share a meal
with others, I am mindful of the opportunity for Christ to
be elevated, for what he has done for me and us; In
reconciling us to God and one another and bringing peace.
As I study scripture deeper, I have come to realize that
communion does not have to be a special meal, at a certain
time, with special gadgets. All of the above are man-made
self-serving rules.
Whenever we have a set table, share a meal, passing food
around and pouring drinks for one another; this is a setting
for holy communion. Scripture sets the scene for us: Jesus
instituted holy communion during a meal as part of eating,
at a Passover dinner he hosted. Matthew 26:26 tells us;
“While they were eating [that is in the middle of the meal] Jesus
took a piece of bread, gave a prayer of thanks, broke it and gave it to
his disciples.[it wasn’t special bread, it was leaven bread
prepared for the Passover meal].
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Eunice Rakhale-Molefe
‘Take and eat,’ he said; ‘this is my body.’ [ This means what we
understand as Christians that his body is a Sacrifice for our
sins, given to us freely.] Matthew 26:27 continues: “Then he
took a cup, gave thanks to God, and gave it to them. ‘Drink, all of
you,’ [This was an ordinary cup that they were drinking
from, it was not a special cup. He offered to all seated
around the table.] and said; ‘This is my blood, which seals God’s
covenant, my blood poured out for the forgiveness of sins. Scripture
also reminds us to do this often, it does not stipulate the
time. So, as we eat together we are to remember the
forgiveness we received and the sacrifice made for us to be
forgiven
Understanding and partaking in Holy Communion this way
has helped me understand forgiveness and be willing to make
the sacrifice for forgiveness to take place. Second to my mother’s
advice on humility and respect, I must say the family prayer
meetings and holy communion during family meals have
been the saving grace of my life and family. And for all of
this, I am grateful!
Finally, there is the importance of understanding the
process of healing; like – for an example – the healing of the
leper in Matthew 8:1-4, which entails understanding God’s
grace with no entitlement, being sensitive to God’s loving
touch, and responding to God’s commands, especially after
one has received healing. As has been mentioned, already, I
had to acknowledge not only my faults, but also the desire
to be cleansed and changed into a new person, and
purposely doing things differently. As well as trusting myself
and my worldly wisdom, but allowing God to fix me, my
business and my life, in general; and to also heal my family.
The book is the culmination of my response to God’s
healing, and haring the experience with the world, warts and
all!
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Recipe Index
AFRICAN CUISINE DEFINITION 45
AFRICAN DELICACIES’ 48
African Potato-Amadumbe24
Biltong Sehwapa 49
Maotwana/Chicken Feet 52
Ditloo/Jugo Beans 49
Ditsie/Brown Locusts 49
Traditional Scones 56
Kapenta 50
Kota – Township Street Food 39
Kota Festival 33 ,40
Mageu 33, 55
Magwinya/Vetkoek/Fatcakes 26, 55
Manqena/Trotters (Sheep or Cow) 52
Maotwana 52
Masonja 48
Mealie Snack – Sebera 49
Maize and Bean Soup 61,111
Mopani Worms 48
Roasted Pumpkin Pips 50
Sebera 49
Sehwapa 49
Sheep Head – Skop 52
Snoek Fish Sauce 55
Sorghum and Beans 56
Street food – Kota 39,53
Stinkbug 50
Street Corner Scones 45,56
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STARTERS 57
Avocado and Smoked
Snoek Salad 58
Baby Brinjal 59
Banana and Bean Salad
58
BBQ Sauce 67
Beef Carpaccio 99
Beetroot Salad 58
Butternut Soup 61
Cape dried fruit
vinaigrette 99
Chakalaka 59
Chicken Livers 60
Chicken Wings with
Whipped Feta Sauce 68
Citrus, Honey and
Mustard Dressing 59
Creamy Garlic Sauce 63
Curried Chicken Salad
60
Delele – Okra 59
Haloumi Cheese 62
Imphwa – 59
Mussels Seshebo 63
Ox/Lamb Livers 64
Peppadew Dressing 62
Peri-Peri Sauce 63
Phyllo Basket 60
Portuguese Soup –
Caldo Verde 61
Snails 62
Soweto beetroot salad 58
White Sauce 63
MAIN COURSE 64
Angwala 75
Black Bream Galjoen 74
Boboti 84
Cassava Mandioca 91
Cheese Sauce 75
Chicken Breasts Panfried
67
Chicken Stew 67
Couscous 91
Crab Curry 84
Crab-Eating Tutorial 85
Diphaphata 79
Dofhi 82
Dumpling 80
Flat Bread 79
Fufu 90
Goat Meat Stew 70
Homemade Bread 80
Impala 70
Kabeljou 74
Kalembula 83
Kingklip Thermidor 74
Lamb Shank 71
Leqebelekwane/Maize
Meal Dumpling 81
Lobster Mayonnaise 78
Mealie Bread 80
Meat Balls 72
230
Medium or
Medium Rare? 98
Mihlo 83
Mogodu 66
Morogo 25
Mutton Potjie 71
Offal Feast 33
Ostrich Kebabs 65
Oxtail 73
Pap 89
Pap Tartlets 90
Phutu 90
Phutu Variety 90
Pilau 70
Portuguese Sardines
Braai 75
Portuguese Sardines 77
Pounded Meat Brisket
69
Prawns Mozambican
Grilled 78
Meat Marinade 101
Roti 83
Samp and Beans 84
Sardines Braai 75
Sardines 77
Sheep Tripe 66
Tomato Olive
Vinaigrette 76
Traditional Chicken Free
Range 66
Tshotlo Pounded Meat
Brisket 69
Umleqwa 66
Umxushu/Samp &
beans 84
Venison Ragout 70
Vhuswa 83
Whole Bream 75
DESSERT 91
Bottled Peaches
Custard and Jelly
Homemade Custard
Hot Ice Cream
Chocolate Ganache
Maize Meal Custard with
Chocolate Sauce
FOOD AND WINE
PAIRING 110
WINE IN SIMPLE TERMS
(Wine List)
1. Defined by the Type
of Grapes
1.1Classic White
Selection
1.2 Classic Red
Selection
1.3 The Pink Wines
2. Defined by the
Production Technique
2.1 Sparkling Wines
2.2 Fortified Wine
2.3 Late Harvest and
Natural Sweet
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TRADITIONAL DRINKS
107-110
Baobab Fruit Brew
Gemere – Traditional
Ginger Beer 108
Morula Fruit Brew
Pineapple Beer
Mqombothi 108
Watermelon Beer
Wild Medlar Fruit
Yoghurt
HOW TO MAKE A
GOOD CUP OF TEA 118
African High Tea Menu
118
Chapattis 119
Egyptian Tamia
Vegetarian Patties 120
High Tea or Low Tea
117
Koeksusters 121
Malawian Fat Cakes –
Mandazi 120
Masamba Cakes 119
Street Corner Scones 56
Senegalese Pastille 120
Tea Tasting 121
FRESH HERBS OR DRY
HERBS? 176
Fragrant Spices
Full-Bodied Hardy
Herbs
Hot Spices
Spice Mixtures
Tender Herbs
TYPES OF SMALL
CHICKENS 19
TRADITIONAL CHICKEN
Umleqwa – Traditional
Christmas Feast Bird 66
JOINTING A
CHICKEN 19
TSHISA-NYAMA
98
Coconut Cheese
Sauce 75
Meat Cuts 99
Medium or
Medium Rare? 98
Pineapple Marinade 102
Spicy Yoghurt
Meat Marinade 101
VEGETARIAN
Morogo 25
Phutu Variety 90
Egyptian Tamia
Vegetarian Patties 120
Cabbage 62
Tomato and Onion
Sauce 102
Beetroot Sauce 102
Maize and Bean Soup 61
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TRADITIONAL SAUCES
102
1. Atchaar/Chilli
2. Beetroot Sauce
3. Tomato and Onion
Gravy
OTHER SAUCES 179
Savory Sauces
Savory Extracts-
Essences Alcohol and
cooking
CULINARY
DESTINATIONS 35
Pan African Mall,
Alexandra
Soweto Theatre arts and
crafts fair
Moroka Dam Soweto
Picnic
Dobsonville Road
House Butchery
Soweto Birding
Watching Destination
Soweto Backpackers
Outdoor Restaurant
Reya-Vaya Bus Transit
System
Thokoza Park – Soweto
Kasi Kitchen (Township)
Meat’ & Greet Book
Talks, Culinary
Storytelling
THE DRESS CODE 42
FORCED TO HAVE THE
CONVERSATION179
CONVERSATIONS 187
With my late mother
Mother-Daughter
Mother-Son
Grand-Mother-Granddaughter
Sister-Sister
Sister-Brother
FAMILY DINNERS AND
FAMILY
CONVERSATIONS
176
Ingredients for real
conversations – Rules of
Engagement
Recipe for healthy family
conversations
Sustenance of healthy
family conversations
BREAKING BREAD
227
233
References
1. Desmond Tutu & Mpho Tutu; Made for Goodness, USA,
Harper One 2010.
2. Colleen Sell; A Cup of Comfort for Mothers and
Daughters; USA Adams Media Corporation, 2003
3. John Eldredge; Wild at Heart; Nashville Tennessee,
Thomas Nelson Inc. 2001.
4. Richard Stengel; Mandela’s Way, New York Random
House 2009.
5. Robin Synner & John Cleese; Families and How to
Survive Them, London, Random House 1983.
6. Find Us Faithful, by Bob Russell 1992; Paul Coughlin –
Unleashing Courageous Faith – Minnesota, Bethany House
Publishers 2009.
7. Scripture quotations taken from, The Good News Bible
– Today’s English Version, with Deuteronomical
Books; Copyright 1979, 1996, 2008 – Bible Society of
South Africa.
8. Miriam Feinberg Vamosh; Women at the time of The Bible,
Purple Pomegranate Productions, San Francisco, 2007.
9. Dr Lillian Carson; The Essential Grand Parent’ Health
Communications, Inco, Florida 1996.
10. Susan Scott; Fierce Conversations, Piatkus Books Limited,
London 2002.
11. Karen Kingston; Clear Your Clutter, Piatkus Books
Limited Books 2000.
12. Don Michael Ruiz, The Four Agreements, Amber Allen
Publishing, San Rafael, California 1997.
13. Trevor Hudson with Morton Kelsey; Journey of the Spirit,
Struik Christian Books 2000.
14. Ceil and Moishe Rosen; Christ in the Passover, Moody
Press 1978.
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About The Author
Eunice Rakhale-Molefe is the founder and owner of Book
Tourism Trading (Pty) LTD an imprint of CEM Publishers.
The company was established in 2009. Since then Eunice
has published 22 titles (three of these her own) and 13
independent authors. One of these authors, Thembeka
Cynthia Sesi, is a winner of the South African Pan African
Language Board Award for 2016/2017 in the isiXhosa
poems category. Of the 22 titles, ten titles are listed in the
Gauteng Education and Training Department’s ESP
Catalogue as library resources.
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