Queens Park Rangers vs Reading

HOOPS
and youth team manager
Frank McLintock, the former
QPR captain.
I attempted exercises, runs,
sprints, drills and a practice
match over two hours,
resplendent in a proper
QPR training kit, although
the professional look was
diluted when you looked at
my footwear: a pair of my own
Dunlop Green Flash pumps.
Also, I provoked subdued
giggling after drinking water
from a pitchside tap as I
staggered off the field at
the end. As Barry McKenzie,
the cartoon figment of
comedian and erstwhile
Edna Everage impersonator
Barry Humphries’ fertile
imagination, might have
put it, I ‘chundered’ over the
otherwise pristine, newlymown
grass.
Older readers might
remember my account of
the experience being published
in the Rangers programme
after its appearance in the
Ealing Gazette.
But the younger among the
Super Hoops following would
be unlikely to have seen the
feature.
So for them and the more
senior citizens whose
memories are not what they
once were, I have copied a
few extracts of my
experiences that day.
I was nervous and
afraid of looking foolish
as I joined the players at
10am at the training
ground in Birkbeck
Avenue, Greenford
I wrote: “The spontaneous
applause I received from
QPR’s players was the
perfect end to two hours of
torture. Every muscle ached
and I was sick with exhaustion
after what they called ‘a little
light training’.
“Rangers boss Terry Venables
made me feel even better
as he strolled across,
scarcely able to contain his
amusement and told me, ‘I’ve
just been speaking to a top
football reporter and he asked
me who my new signing was’.
“I was nervous and afraid
of looking foolish as I joined
the players at 10am at the
training ground in Birkbeck
Avenue, Greenford.
“Reserve and youth manager
Frank McLintock set us off
on a light jog and I followed
goalkeeper Peter Hucker,
who was doing a Superman
impersonation.
“A back-breaking variety
of warm-up exercises to
loosen leg, arm, stomach and
back muscles followed. My
attempts at press-ups had
already caused a few sniggers
so I was dreading the ‘squares’
section. … Allan Harris called
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