teenLook #6 - November 2019 - Arizona Skeoch

Photos and words by Mr. G
IN MEMORY OF
MY UNCLE DAN
This month as we remember Veterans and service personnel that
have served their countries, I want to take this moment to remember
my Uncle. He was a Vietnam Veteran.
Some readers will have gathered enough information from past
issues to know that I have spent some time in the Philippines and
that my wife is a Filipina. We were married here in Canada and
had a second, more traditional marriage in the Philippines in 2012.
It was a beautiful experience, and I absolutely loved it there. My
Uncle Dan, or as I called him, Tatay Dan. (Father) He stood in
place of my father (who died when I was younger) at our marriage
ceremony. It was my first time to meet Dan. He was married to my
wife’s aunt. He’s an American who loved to smoke and drink a lot.
We had a great time getting to know each other, and I learned quite
a bit about his past and the pain and memories from his time serving
during the Vietnam War. He saw a lot of men die and lost some
close friends. I could see the pain in his tears he shed during these
intimate conversations. My wife’s family lives in the Ilocos region,
which is on the west side of the Islands. Ironically, this is directly
across the waterway facing Vietnam.
For me, it was nice having a fellow “white” family friend in the
area, and I was looking forward to seeing him again after we left.
Then I received the news in February 2017. Dan had been fatally
shot and had passed away. I was stunned. It wasn’t an accident;
it was murder. A gunman had ridden his motorcycle up to Dan,
who was walking on a busy street. It was mid-afternoon and just
another day in paradise. Words were exchanged, and three or four
bullets later, Dan lay dead in the street. I saw the photos, and it had
a significant impact on me emotionally.
Dan was living with PTSD. That was clear from his lifestyle. I knew
the pain he carried with him, and I know that was what led to his
untimely demise. I have experienced losing loved ones in my lifetime,
but never to murder. It took me a long time to recover, but I
found ways to deal with the pain. Being a creative person, my go-to
outlet to work through trouble is to create. I wrote a short screenplay
and filmed a story of a troubled soldier’s experience during
the Vietnam conflict.
We all have experienced pain in some form or another. Finding a
way past the pain to healing is the most important thing. You don’t
forget about the pain or loss, but you can move past it and regain
what you once were.
I haven’t forgotten about the pain. It is bringing tears to my
eyes at this moment as I write this, but now I have moved
forward and accepted the loss. That’s the purpose of therapy,
to overcome the pain. This was my therapy. teenLook
60 | teenlook.ca