The Coat That Wouldn't Come Off! by A. A. Augustine

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know what it is my son?! “The man then snapped and recoiled back, almost laughingly, looking up into the air. Likea madman in one of Johnny’s Super Hero comic books. His hands folded over his paunchy belly fatstaggering around in a child-like, drunken, circular fashion. His boots clacking and clicking on thesidewalk as he did so.“ Yes, I sure would” said Johnny? Not knowing what to expect but knowing that no matterwhat the cost Johnny would surely be able to afford the coat. He was the most wealthy boy in townafter all.“Well,” said the man. Glowing from the prospect of the sale, “I will offer you this coat, aone-of-a-kind jacket unlike any the world has ever seen and the one piece of material you will needto grow all other future materials out of, for the small price… for the most infinitesimal amount…for the measly paltry sum of ... of…”The man behind the table could now sense he had the crowd’s attention as all you couldhear were the sounds of a few passing cars and the old, accusatory lady in the bonnet snickering andclicking her teeth off to the side of the table near Johnny.The man in the tattered-top-hat had the crowd exactly where he wanted them and held hiswords for a moment, heightening the drama and tension in the air to a new, even higher level ofanticipation.“...of... just ... ONE NICKLE!!!”The crowd gasped! The air taken out of them for a brief instant.“But,” the man continued almost mockingly implying “ this one nickel, must be removed,freshly, from your pocket, young man!”“One nickel?!” Someone shouted. “For that?!! Why it’s worth millions!!! Billions! It willchange the world!”Johnny, of course knew the answer and felt it in the pit of his stomach. He already spentall of his change and had no dime, no nickel and certainly, painfully, not even a penny like the old,dirty man in the alleyway begged him for. Not a single one.Johnny half expected from the tone in the man’s voice that somehow, inexplicably the manfrom behind the table knew it as well. But how?Johnny simply did not have any change left. In his selfishness and greed, he had spentevery last cent. Frivolously wasting it on candy just like his mother implored him not to do this time.He was crushed. Sunk. The world conspired against him. Maybe for the first time in hisyoung selfish life, but certainly not the last. As we shall soon see.If he had only listened to his mother.Johnny, knowing full-well he didn’t have a red-cent on him, reached deep into his pocketsanyway. Too embarrassed at his greed that day to act otherwise. And all that he found was the nowcrumpled and chocolate and caramel stained list his mother had given him for the groceries alongwith three other balled-up receipts. Johnny feigned innocence and ignorance.“Ahhh, ahhhh… no sir, I don’t have any money on me. You see, I was sent by my motherto the store for groceries and had only just enough for the provisions.”The man in the tatter-top-hat snapped back hastily. Half laughing at the simple, avoidableirony of the situation!“Well, where’s the change boy!? Where’s the change?! Surely there must be change! Howcould the groceries you were sent to purchase cost the exact amount you were given? That’spreposterous!”“I… I don’t know, sir. But I don’t have any left.” Johnny was desperately, feigninginnocence. Half playing to the crowd, hoping for some charity perhaps.The crowd bought it.“ I have a nickel!” Someone shouted. “Here, catch!”The anonymous donor indeed threw the nickel up to the table and it glanced off a cornerof the table and rolled in a big uneven loop near Johnny’s feet.“Gee, thanks, mister! “ Johnny shouted as the nickel wavered and shook left and right likea see-saw to a slow stop and then a drop with an ever so slight “ping”.As the tossed nickel lost momentum and settled flat to the sidewalk, Johnny bent down topick it up when the man in the tattered top hat immediately put his foot over it, stepping on it toprevent Johnny from picking it up.
“Say, what’s the big idea mister?!” Snapped Johnny.“Yeah, let him have it buddy!” Cried someone from the tourist group.“Here’s another one kid!” Yelled someone else from the crowd throwing yet another nickelover the crowds head.It hit the wall behind Johnny and bounced back far out into the crowd.Then, like people in crowds tend to do, they all followed suit.Lemmings. Albeit Lemmings with good intention. But Lemmings none the less.People suddenly began pelting the area where Johnny was standing with nickels. It lookedlike silver rain for a minute and in the midst of this, Johnny must have caught at least a dozen nickels.Which was of course, more than enough for the beautiful, magic, red coat.As the flickering rain of nickels fell on top of Johnny and the tattered top hated man behindthe table, the man attempted to stop the crowd from parting with their silver. He began yelling in tothe crowd. “Now people! People!!! This won’t do! This is not what I asked for! I appreciate yourkindness toward this young boy, but the cost is ... a nickel ... only from the boy’s own hands! Fromhis pocket alone! One nickel ONLY! A nickel that he should have in his possession. I will only acceptit directly from the pocket of this boy and none other.”The old lady in the bonnet to the side of the table then snapped at the man ”Trickery!” Shemoved in to poked him in the ribs once again! “He’s up to no good, I tell you!” She said to the crowdas her eyes scanned the attentive faces before her. “A nickel, is a nickel sir!” She declared, shakingher head in confirmation to the masses. “Why does it have to be from the boy? Why? What kind ofTom Foolery is this?”The man in the tattered-top-hat looked at her with all the fake sincerity he could musterand bemoaningly, patronizingly, declared, “Beeeecause ma’ammmm… that, is the cost. I believe thisyoung man should have a nickels change on him and if he does not have any in his possession, thenthe coat must be returned to me and we will sell it to no one in this town and my secret will stay safewith me and I shall vacate the premises accordingly.”“ Now, boy…”, he quickly turned to implore to Johnny as if quickly skimming and readingthe fine legalese at the end of a contract, “If you have a nickel in your possession and would like thiscoat and the divine secret that comes along with it which will bring the townsfolk and yourself untoldriches and fame forevermore, then I implore you to please reach into your pocket and pay the costpromptly!”Johnny was deflated and pleaded to the man. “Sir, I have more than enough nickels thenyou can ever imagine at my disposal if you could only give me a minute to go fetch them from mymother. Why she's not even a few blocks from here as we speak and I can return before you evenknow I was gone.”The man behind the table brought his hand up to his chin and held his elbow with his otherand began to pace in yet anther ever tightening circle once again, mockingly, thinking Johnny’sproposition over. He, of course, quickly reached a verdict while not even making three full revolutionsaround Johnny. “Nope! No deal! I’m sorry young man! I can’t wait and you HAVE TO HAVEa shiny silver nickel on you now, or we have no deal!”Johnny insufferably implored.“But I want it! And I always get everything I want! Always!!! I will be back with athousand nickels for you if you would only just wait a moment! If you leave, I will hire someone tofind you and I will have this coat!”The man behind the table laughed. A deep, knowing laugh that only those who knowsomething we could never know do.“... Find mmmmeeeeee?! Oh, I don’t think that would be possible young man! Quiteimpossible”. The man then turned and winked at Johnny. Confusing and frustrating Johnny evenmore.This would not do. Thought Johnny as he reached up to his right shoulder attempting totake off the coat to give back to the man so he could run home to tell his mother of the incrediblemagic coat he had found and retrieve a thousand nickels from the family vault.But a funny thing happened when Johnny reached up to take the coat off.It wouldn’t budge. It wouldn’t move or bend or pull. Johnny tried with his right hand andyanked at the sleeve on the left and tried with his left hand and yanked on the right one. Nothing.
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The Coat That Wouldn't Come Off! by A. A. Augustine

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