ISSUE NO.134 DECEMBER 2021OVERCOMINGTHE FEAROF BEINGJUDGEDWritten by Linda Mitchell, CPC, LMT
WWhat’s your gut reaction whensomeone judges you? Do you get angry, feel bad aboutyourself, internalize the comments, or change course to avoidfurther judgement? What if you had an effective strategy tohelp release upset and overcome the fear being judged?Words have power. They can leave you feeling hurt andvulnerable. Other peoples’ judgement can negatively impactyour opinion of yourself. You may begin doubting yourselfand your decisions. Confidence crumbles and ultimatelyleads to fear of being judged, fear of making mistakes or fearof taking risks - this can negatively impact your relationships,jobs, social lives and of course, your self-esteem. It’s one ofthe foremost reasons I see people shy away from followingtheir dreams or using their unique talents. Fear of beingjudged keeps people from feeling free to be their authenticselves, which keeps them from enjoying life to its fullest andstepping out to make the important contributions they’redestined to.Here are some proven tips to help overcome this very realfear.Learn your strengths and limitations. Once you’re clearon them, you’re less likely to be affected by what others say.Judgements become somewhat irrelevant when you knowwhat you’re capable of. If someone uses unkind words aboutsomething you’ve worked on, and you know it’s not one ofyour strongest talents, you can more easily dismiss it.Avoid looking for approval from others and be contentwith self-approval. Start celebrating all your successes, bigand little, and really feel how good self-approval feels. Ortackle something you’ve been avoiding. Once it’s done, stopand notice how satisfying it feels. Starting or deepening aspiritual practice helps too. Spending time alone reflectingor journaling on your strengths inspires feeling good aboutyourself, your successes and your decisions and bolsters youagainst harsh judgements. This kind of consistent, positivereassurance helps overcome the fear of being judged.When you feel judged ask yourself: Was that person wellenough informed to judge you fairly? Were their commentstrue? Do you truly value their opinion? Sadly, sometimespeople are jealous of your achievements, and may judge youharshly to make themselves feel better.Be very aware of your inner critic. That little voice inyour head can become deafening so it’s important torecognize when negative thoughts creep in. If you let others’judgements join your own negative self-talk, it’s much harderto deflect it. Instead of letting it cloud your own perceptions,remember and appreciate your value and worth.Don’t dwell on the harsh words. Even though it hurtsin the moment, the memory will fade more quickly if youdon’t ruminate over it. What we focus on expands, so besure you’re not giving priority to the negative thoughts!Remember, sometimes things just come out wrong. Giveothers the benefit of the doubt and realize they probablyweren’t intentionally trying to hurt you.Here’s an effective strategy to quickly deflect hurtfuljudgements in the moment and keep yourself frominternalizing them. Create and practice an empoweringphrase to avoid getting offended. It might sound somethinglike: “Well that’s very interesting! What a unique perspectiveyou bring; I see the situation differently but really, thanksfor your input.” Remember, everyone has an opinion. Someyou’ll agree with and some you won’t. Your opinion ofyourself and your work is the most important.It’s valuable to recall times you’ve taken risks that paid off ina positive way. Remind yourself of all your accomplishments,especially when you’re embarking on something outside ofyour comfort zone or you’re not as sure of yourself as youwould otherwise be. Release judgements and do what feelsright for you despite what others may say because being trueto yourself will always pay off!About The AuthorLINDA MITCHELLLinda Mitchell is a board-certified coach, speaker, intuitive healerand LMT. She empowers people who are stuck, overwhelmed ordesiring change to release their struggle, gain clarity, balanceand freedom as they move through challenges and transitionsand step into their next meaningful role.To Learn More Visit:www.LivingInspiredCoaching.com