You also want an ePaper? Increase the reach of your titles
YUMPU automatically turns print PDFs into web optimized ePapers that Google loves.
represents a long-distance relationship for the
foreseeable future. The difference is that she is
ready to understand who I am and what I am
because of the life I once had with my late wife
and the man I have become (though she didn't
know me then) through fathering my wonderful
children with that late wife. I would say, what's
worse for the new woman in the widower's life?
Having an occassional poignant moment with
him putting flowers at a graveside or indirectly
haggling with a bitter, still living ex-wife over
who gets the kids for the Christmas holiday? I'm
not a woman, but if I were, I woulld see myself
opting for the former.I think the widower thing
also can be confused as a red herring. Is a man
not wanting to commit, doing the push me-pull
me, because he is a widower or simply because
he is a man? He may be a cad. He may be
taking this second chance in life to be a 'player'.
He may be fifty years old, yes, but perhaps
having the same 'commitment' fears of a 28 year
old. Women should try to dig deeper in the
relationship to see indeed if the widower in the
man is causing the hesitation....or is he just
being a man! (sorry gals, but that's the way some
of us are).
But to those women dating widowers I offer the
same response I offered many of the divorced
women I communicated with through the online
dating service. I actually was presented with the
'sainted dead wife' question so many times
(though I actually only dated a handful) that I
composed the 'answer' and saved it on my PC
to copy and paste when it came up. It vexed me
a bit, a reaction to what I felt was a prejudice
towards me simply because I was a widower
and not a divorcee. Most of the women out
there dating or potentially dating widowers are