The kids know that when they come to visit we always have slow mornings, waffles, Nana’s butter tarts, and cookouts. We do our best to follow bedtime routines and homeschooling agenda that their parents have set in place. Every day is an opportunity to start a new tradition. We are going to start having “world cuisine and traditions” days, where we will learn things throughout the time they are with us about a chosen country. What do they eat there, what do kids play there, what traditions do they have and how do they live? It will be fun to do some cooking together with ingredients they might not have an opportunity to try otherwise. Being a grandparent isn’t just about fun and games though. It does come with a learning curve. It means taking a step back and respecting that you are not the parent and what that means when it comes to boundaries and different perspectives. Keeping an open and positive dialogue with the child’s parents is key to developing a supportive environment. There have been times we have raised our eyebrows, but it is important to recognize that our ideas of child-rearing might be different than theirs. We’ve let our daughter and son-in-law explore what works for them and develop their own parenting THINGS YOU CAN DO TO CULTIVATE A MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR GRANDKIDS • Read a chapter book together. • Ask what they would like to learn about. • Have them teach you how to play their favourite game. • Plan a trip... imaginary or real. • Cook together... share a family recipe or find a new one to add to the collection. • Build a fire and have a cookout. • Play charades over Zoom. • Go on a scavenger hunt. • Watch a movie or documentary about the Earth and animals. • Do outdoor activities like archery, hiking, cycling, and tree identification. • Plant a garden. • Learn a new skill together such as knottying or making jam. • Let them help with everyday chores and activities. • Get dirty, jump in puddles and dance in the rain. • Share your stories of growing up. style, knowing they will ask for our opinion or advice when needed. We don’t have to agree, but being respectful and having a clear understanding of their style will allow you to develop your own way of grandparenting, one that will compliment theirs. Being their cheering squad and acknowledging their struggles and triumphs as a parent is sometimes all they need... not your opinion. It’s also important for parents to know what boundaries, if any, the grandparent might have, and to be clear on what they see as their role. Asking grandparents to watch the kids every once in a while is OK but be careful not to take advantage of their generosity... they have already raised their family and who knows, maybe they now have the time to pursue interests they didn’t previously. We cherish the relationships we have nurtured with our grandkids. If, for whatever reason, that is not possible for you, then get creative and seek out alternatives. Adopt a senior friend or neighbour that your child can develop a grandparent relationship with. Find them a common interest or maybe something they would like to learn from each other. Schedule video chats if they are unable to get together. If there is one thing we’ve learned as grandparents and can pass along is to slow down. Spend more time together exploring and experiencing the world. Don’t fill your calendar up with group activities. Time is so important and, as grandparents, we usually have this luxury, but just by taking one thing off your calendar and spending that time together, planned or not, will allow you to be more in the moment. We have also learned that being active and healthy makes it a lot easier to keep up with our grandkids, and opens the door to try new things together. Who says Nana can’t go ziplining in Costa Rica with her seven-year-old granddaughter? Or how about physical work like stacking wood with Ba? We have learned to be more flexible and tolerant, and not worry so much about crossing things off the ‘to do’ list. If we are in the middle of something and Gracie or Gavin have a question or want to show us something, we stop and become invested in this gift of a moment with them. Being a grandparent has been life-changing. Sometimes it can be frustrating and sometimes it can be challenging, but it is filled with love, snuggles, and giggles. Be kind to yourself when it comes to navigating this new role, because you are learning as you go. It’s not always what you expect it to be, but if you remember that the relationship is more important than “the rules,” you will be rewarded with a relationship that will continue to be special as your grandchild grows. My greatest hope is that my grandkids will still want to spend time at Camp BaNana, exploring and sharing stories when they are teenagers and adults. GBK SANDE and RICK IRWIN are self-proclaimed foodies, homesteaders and adventure travellers, living in rural <strong>Bruce</strong> County. Sharing their love for life brings them great joy.
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