Grey-Bruce Kids Winter 2021/22
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The kids know that when they come to visit we always have slow<br />
mornings, waffles, Nana’s butter tarts, and cookouts. We do our<br />
best to follow bedtime routines and homeschooling agenda that<br />
their parents have set in place.<br />
Every day is an opportunity to start a new tradition. We are<br />
going to start having “world cuisine and traditions” days, where<br />
we will learn things throughout the time they are with us about<br />
a chosen country. What do they eat there, what do kids play<br />
there, what traditions do they have and how do they live? It will<br />
be fun to do some cooking together with ingredients they might<br />
not have an opportunity to try otherwise.<br />
Being a grandparent isn’t just about fun and games though. It<br />
does come with a learning curve.<br />
It means taking a step back and respecting that you are not the<br />
parent and what that means when it comes to boundaries and<br />
different perspectives. Keeping an open and positive dialogue<br />
with the child’s parents is key to developing a supportive<br />
environment.<br />
There have been times we have raised our eyebrows, but it is<br />
important to recognize that our ideas of child-rearing might<br />
be different than theirs. We’ve let our daughter and son-in-law<br />
explore what works for them and develop their own parenting<br />
THINGS YOU CAN DO TO CULTIVATE<br />
A MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP<br />
WITH YOUR GRANDKIDS<br />
• Read a chapter book together.<br />
• Ask what they would like to learn about.<br />
• Have them teach you how to play their<br />
favourite game.<br />
• Plan a trip... imaginary or real.<br />
• Cook together... share a family recipe or<br />
find a new one to add to the collection.<br />
• Build a fire and have a cookout.<br />
• Play charades over Zoom.<br />
• Go on a scavenger hunt.<br />
• Watch a movie or documentary about<br />
the Earth and animals.<br />
• Do outdoor activities like archery, hiking,<br />
cycling, and tree identification.<br />
• Plant a garden.<br />
• Learn a new skill together such as knottying<br />
or making jam.<br />
• Let them help with everyday chores<br />
and activities.<br />
• Get dirty, jump in puddles and dance in<br />
the rain.<br />
• Share your stories of growing up.<br />
style, knowing they will ask for our opinion or advice when<br />
needed. We don’t have to agree, but being respectful and having<br />
a clear understanding of their style will allow you to develop<br />
your own way of grandparenting, one that will compliment<br />
theirs.<br />
Being their cheering squad and acknowledging their struggles<br />
and triumphs as a parent is sometimes all they need... not<br />
your opinion. It’s also important for parents to know what<br />
boundaries, if any, the grandparent might have, and to be clear<br />
on what they see as their role.<br />
Asking grandparents to watch the kids every once in a while is<br />
OK but be careful not to take advantage of their generosity...<br />
they have already raised their family and who knows, maybe<br />
they now have the time to pursue interests they didn’t previously.<br />
We cherish the relationships we have nurtured with our<br />
grandkids. If, for whatever reason, that is not possible for you,<br />
then get creative and seek out alternatives. Adopt a senior<br />
friend or neighbour that your child can develop a grandparent<br />
relationship with. Find them a common interest or maybe<br />
something they would like to learn from each other. Schedule<br />
video chats if they are unable to get together.<br />
If there is one thing we’ve learned as grandparents and can pass<br />
along is to slow down. Spend more time together exploring and<br />
experiencing the world. Don’t fill your calendar up with group<br />
activities. Time is so important and, as grandparents, we usually<br />
have this luxury, but just by taking one thing off your calendar<br />
and spending that time together, planned or not, will allow you<br />
to be more in the moment. We have also learned that being<br />
active and healthy makes it a lot easier to keep up with our<br />
grandkids, and opens the door to try new things together.<br />
Who says Nana can’t go ziplining in Costa Rica with her<br />
seven-year-old granddaughter? Or how about physical work like<br />
stacking wood with Ba? We have learned to be more flexible and<br />
tolerant, and not worry so much about crossing things off the<br />
‘to do’ list. If we are in the middle of something and Gracie or<br />
Gavin have a question or want to show us something, we stop<br />
and become invested in this gift of a moment with them.<br />
Being a grandparent has been life-changing. Sometimes it can<br />
be frustrating and sometimes it can be challenging, but it is<br />
filled with love, snuggles, and giggles. Be kind to yourself when<br />
it comes to navigating this new role, because you are learning as<br />
you go.<br />
It’s not always what you expect it to be, but if you remember<br />
that the relationship is more important than “the rules,” you will<br />
be rewarded with a relationship that will continue to be special<br />
as your grandchild grows.<br />
My greatest hope is that my grandkids will still want to spend<br />
time at Camp BaNana, exploring and sharing stories when they<br />
are teenagers and adults. GBK<br />
SANDE and RICK IRWIN are self-proclaimed foodies, homesteaders<br />
and adventure travellers, living in rural <strong>Bruce</strong> County. Sharing their love<br />
for life brings them great joy.