Grey-Bruce Kids Winter 2021/22

ut stick with it. Change is hard for all of us, and, while setting
boundaries is often new for us, people will pick up on it. Having
clear boundaries in the long run will help solidify all of your
relationships, as miscommunications become less frequent and
everyone knows where you stand. Setting boundaries isn’t easy,
but it’s so worth it.
Try to spend more time in conscious awareness. Have you
ever driven for 10 minutes to the store and not remember the
trip? That’s because you were probably thinking of a million
things that you have (or feel like you have) to do. Maintaining
conscious awareness takes a lot of practice, but it will make
parenting so much easier.
The next time your kids are acting out, try this – once they are
relatively settled post-meltdown, sit down with them in a quiet
place. Look at their face, touch their hair, smile at them, and tell
them you love them. See them for who they are. Eventually, you
will see the wall fall and they will begin pouring out their heart.
Ask them why they had their meltdown and empathize with
them. They will never feel so connected, and a connected child
is much easier to reason with than one who feels alone.
Shoot for 10 minutes of connection a day with each of your
children. Sounds easy enough, right? If you’re finding it hard to
stay connected for that long, try setting a timer for yourself. As
your kids start looking forward to these special moments, you
may find that attention-seeking behaviours lessen, and drop-offs
become less stressful.
If you find yourself saying, “Everything is fine,” and it’s not,
indeed, fine – stop. Most likely, everything right now in your
life is not fine. I’m not fine. You’re not fine. We are not fine. So
why do we say it? Often we don’t want to burden others, or even
ourselves, with what’s really going on.
The best thing to do? Talk it through with someone who will lift
you up. The important thing is to find someone who can listen
without trying to fix the situation, place blame or try to tell you
what your problem is – it can be a therapist, a friend, family
member, whoever. Just be careful with who you share your
truths with. Once you have commiserated and feel a bit better,
work through some small changes you can make to your life,
and then plan to take some even smaller steps to get there. Some
situations (such as leaving an abusive relationship) involve big
changes and you will need lots of support. Remember, any sort
of change includes ups and downs, good days and not-so-good
days.
Eventually, you will see a shift and you won’t want to look back.
TORI HAMILTON, BScN, RN, IBCLC, PMH-C, is a mom of four and has
been a Registered Nurse for 10 years with experience in Obstetrics.
She helps parents navigate the postpartum period, with a focus on
infant feeding, sleep and mental health. She is an International Board
Certified Lactation Consultant, Baby-Led Sleep & Well-Being Specialist,
and is certified in perinatal mental health. You can find her offerings at
themamanurse.com and connect with her on Instagram
@themamanurse.
GBK
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