Jojo over heaven

23
4
My mother was foolish.
That is certain.
Yesterday I wrote something like "just now after one hundred years has
passed, I understand." but---- I as I thought, I cannot say that she was not
completely foolish.
But in actuality, far more foolish than my mother was my father---- A
little while after my mother died, no, it wasn't even a little while. I now realize
that.
The violence that had up to that point been directed towards my mother
was now all done towards me.
He beat me on an everyday basis.
I was a child, so he of course hit me when I made child-like mistakes.
But even when I did something well, even as a child, if for some reason it rubbed
him the wrong way, he would beat me even worse than when I made mistakes.
To the point where I bled.
It was almost as if he thought beating a child was a form of training.
I've heard some twisted words like, "Go ahead and beat your child. Even
if you don't know the reason why, that child will know why but as a child back
then, I didn't understand at all.
No, actually I soon understood.
I understood that there was no reason.
My father was just the kind of man who tyrannized weaker people in
order to affirm his own dominance.
My mother was foolish. Truly and hopelessly foolish. But even if she
wasn't, even if she had a personality that was fitting for that town, I'm sure my
father would have found some other reason to tyrannize my mother.
because my mother was foolish, that she was beaten like that.