Jojo over heaven

18
I don't think it specifically because it was done to me, but...... in that
town that even hell was preferable to, to force one's own child to live righteously
was mostly just abuse.
Compared to that, I do believe my father was more honest.
For that town, he was right.
"Take the things you want.
"Go swipe it from over there.
That's exactly right.
Truly "right I have nothing to object to.
Compared to that, the dreamlike things my mother said...... What I
wanted to learn from my mother was not things about heaven and God, but more
practical things that could be made to use right away and allow me to survive the
day.
And of course, I said that.
That there's no such thing as heaven.
That this was hell, and that was all there was.
And when I did, Mother made a sad face.
"You don't understand because you're still a child. When you grow up,
I'm sure you'll understand."
She said.
"Heaven does exist. And there is a way to get there. So we have to live
for the purpose of doing that."
Why?
Even if there is a heaven, why did I have to live for the sake of it?-----
And being told I was just a child was of course not going to convince me.
Towards a child, because it's a child, the only way to end a conversation is with
violence.
Rather, to such a child, a child that doesn't understand anything, forcing
them to do such a thing is unreasonable, I thought.
And I still do.