Jojo over heaven
11845Looking at yesterday's entry makes me feel embarrassed.By the goddess of love, I was skewered, I was burned, all that...... Even asa rhetorical depiction, that is far too narcissistic. What in the world was I tryingto write? Literature or something?It was nothing like that.I was simply defeated before Jonathan's good luck.--- Good luck, andperhaps his unconscious mind.The statue of a goddess of love decorating the Joestar mansion's lobby,in other words, before Jonathan unconscious mind that used a mere decoration, Ilost. That is all.I will write simply the factual account of how he, with his flesh-andbloodbody, "subjugated" me, the immortal vampire.--- Without any oddindulgences, I will write what are purely facts.After seeing my immortal body shrugging off a volley of fire from thepolice squad like it was nothing--- After seeing my recovery, he thought of tryingto burn me to death, it seems.And ordinary flames would not be enough.He tried to kill me with huge flames, flames that would burn down theentire Joestar mansion.--- To be honest, it seems that man intended to go downwith me. A double suicide, one might call it...... It seems that by sacrificinghimself--- He intended to make sure I would be completely burned away and notescape. And yet, Jonathan alone survived. And the only way I can explain thatonly I was burned, the only way I can explain that fate, that division of light anddark, is that he had good luck and I had bad luck.Earlier, I was talking about the unconscious--- About how hesubconsciously used the structure of the Joestar mansion he had lived in all thattime, how he subconsciously used that goddess of love that decorated the lobbyand such. But in terms of knowledge of the Joestar mansion's structure, minewas no worse than Jonathan's.
119And yet, he survived.And I "diedWhat was the difference?As I said, it was a difference of luck. But does that really decideeverything?Is perhaps being able to go to "heaven" or not, also decided in such away? Those with good luck can go to heaven and those with bad luck cannot? Isthat all?Regardless of nobility or pride.Regardless of good deeds or humanity.......I do wonder, with what sort of meaning my mother used the word"heaven" to begin with?--- It is not something to be thinking about at this point,but my understanding of it is too vague.It is truly hard for me to think of it as the "heaven" usually based onreligious devotion. Did it simply mean "a happier place than here?"--- Buthonestly, you could find a place better than that town pretty much anywhere,couldn't you? You could make the extreme argument that all places besides thatone were "heaven To take one step outside the Brando house, to take just onestep into that bottom-rung town, for her, that became "happinessShe was able to go to "heavenIt was like my mother was like an ascetic monk performing penance inorder to achieve enlightenment, the way she lived--- and died, in that town.Was that love, or some such thing?Love for my father and love for me.And love for the inhabitants of that town--- like a holy woman.Was it something like that?......If everything is based on luck, then making a record like this, as wellas my groping for a way to get to heaven itself, loses all meaning. Because nomatter how much I've thought about it, no matter how much I rack my brains---no matter how much I've schemed, due to unforeseen circumstances, due tounpredictable developments, everything will come to nothing.
- Page 67 and 68: 67There was a need to officially be
- Page 69 and 70: 6923A continuation of yesterday.Sti
- Page 71 and 72: 71......No, whatever the circumstan
- Page 73 and 74: 7324It seems "Tower of Gray" has fa
- Page 75 and 76: 7525I have met Pucci.As to keep Eny
- Page 77 and 78: 77But perhaps Pucci will not be the
- Page 79 and 80: 79my century long sleep, it has bee
- Page 81 and 82: 81"You intend to go yourself just b
- Page 83 and 84: 8329What is the difference between
- Page 85 and 86: 8530This may have no direct connect
- Page 87 and 88: 87Though I don't think he didn't ha
- Page 89 and 90: 8932Some time has opened up for me
- Page 91 and 92: 91At least, by normal rationale the
- Page 93 and 94: 9333Of the Stand users Enya the Hag
- Page 95 and 96: 9534Enya the Hag has given me a pro
- Page 97 and 98: 9735More time has opened up, so I w
- Page 99 and 100: 99people. So first, I tried ignorin
- Page 101 and 102: 101drunkenness, there is nothing th
- Page 103 and 104: 10337Of course, at that time I had
- Page 105 and 106: 10538I have received an unexpected
- Page 107 and 108: 10739There are a great many things
- Page 109 and 110: 109I was born evil, his words rang
- Page 111 and 112: 11141"Dio..."I heard everything."It
- Page 113 and 114: 11342I had been cornered--- cornere
- Page 115 and 116: 11543I have received a report from
- Page 117: 117Being cornered into putting on t
- Page 121 and 122: 12146Even if that is all there is t
- Page 123 and 124: 12347We have decided on a day for P
- Page 125 and 126: 125Or one could also call it life o
- Page 127 and 128: 127
- Page 129 and 130: 129According to reports, it seems t
- Page 131 and 132: 131Saying that Joseph Joestar's pla
- Page 133 and 134: 133Certainly, it would be pleasant
- Page 135 and 136: 135I will put these in order.The th
- Page 137 and 138: 13752It seems that Jonathan acquire
- Page 139 and 140: 13953I had a conversation I believe
- Page 141 and 142: 141I believe I was thinking that I
- Page 143 and 144: 143Although he is not fully retired
- Page 145 and 146: 14555Pucci has come to Egypt a bit
- Page 147 and 148: 14756I got....... not quite emotion
- Page 149 and 150: 14957The Oingo and Boingo Brothers
- Page 151 and 152: 15158A watch.I remembered. I sudden
- Page 153 and 154: 15359"Sethan "Anubis and "Bastet" h
- Page 155 and 156: 155I used "The World" to stop time.
- Page 157 and 158: 157It is because of that when Jonat
- Page 159 and 160: 159Though to be a bit more positive
- Page 161 and 162: 161I actually became a Stand user b
- Page 163 and 164: 16363The person Enya the Hag bought
- Page 165 and 166: 165I could manage to use the excuse
- Page 167 and 168: 167So a deal would be possible, wou
118
45
Looking at yesterday's entry makes me feel embarrassed.
By the goddess of love, I was skewered, I was burned, all that...... Even as
a rhetorical depiction, that is far too narcissistic. What in the world was I trying
to write? Literature or something?
It was nothing like that.
I was simply defeated before Jonathan's good luck.--- Good luck, and
perhaps his unconscious mind.
The statue of a goddess of love decorating the Joestar mansion's lobby,
in other words, before Jonathan unconscious mind that used a mere decoration, I
lost. That is all.
I will write simply the factual account of how he, with his flesh-andblood
body, "subjugated" me, the immortal vampire.--- Without any odd
indulgences, I will write what are purely facts.
After seeing my immortal body shrugging off a volley of fire from the
police squad like it was nothing--- After seeing my recovery, he thought of trying
to burn me to death, it seems.
And ordinary flames would not be enough.
He tried to kill me with huge flames, flames that would burn down the
entire Joestar mansion.--- To be honest, it seems that man intended to go down
with me. A double suicide, one might call it...... It seems that by sacrificing
himself--- He intended to make sure I would be completely burned away and not
escape. And yet, Jonathan alone survived. And the only way I can explain that
only I was burned, the only way I can explain that fate, that division of light and
dark, is that he had good luck and I had bad luck.
Earlier, I was talking about the unconscious--- About how he
subconsciously used the structure of the Joestar mansion he had lived in all that
time, how he subconsciously used that goddess of love that decorated the lobby
and such. But in terms of knowledge of the Joestar mansion's structure, mine
was no worse than Jonathan's.
Change language