Health & Heels - Inaugural edition!

November Issue 

2

3 

healthandheelsmagazine.com 

“I’m on two diets now... 

I wasn’t getting nearly 

enough food on just 

one” 

NOT our clients! 

All you need is ONE... the Right ONE! 

844-TANYA-DIET (826-9234)

STAFF 

Tanya Rosen Editor In Chief 

Basya Kovacs Managing Editor 

Moshe Kinderlehrer/The Jewish Link Media Group 

Publishing Consultant & Advisor 

Basya Kovacs Content Manager 

Yehuda Kovacs Rabbinic Advisor 

Adam Negnewitzky Layout & Design 

Rivky Bergstein Proofreader & Copy Editor 

p13 

THANKSGIVING 

VEGETABLE 

PLATTER 

p26 

MY WEIGHT 

LOSS SURGERY 

JOURNEY 

p32 

SUNNY LEVY 

p34 

REFLECTIONS 

CONTACTS Website: www.healthandheelsmagazine.com | General Information: info@healthandheelsmagazine.com | 

Submissions: submissions@healthandheelsmagazine.com | Letters To The Editor: editor@healthandheelsmagazine.com | 

Advertising: ads@healthandheelsmagazine.com | Address: 3817 13th Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11218 | Phone: (844) Tanya-Diet

5 

In this issue 


p46 

JUNEE 

FALL 

FASHION 

7 

9 

22 

LETTER FROM THE 

EDITOR 

CONFESSIONS OF A 

NUTRITIONIST 

LET’S GET 

COOKING 

28 

50 

51 

ASK THE PHARMACIST 

BY LUBA SURMAN-HESS 

MODESTLY YOURS 

BY JEN SHARBANI 

COFFEE BREAK 

BY KAREN BEHFAR 

p63 

EMPOWERED 

PARENTING 

64 

66 

MY MIRACLE 

BY BASYA KOVACS 

THE MEANINGFUL 

MARRIAGE MANUAL 

BY DEBBIE SELENGUT 

67 

LAST LICKS 

BY MAYA KARASANTI 

All information presented and written within Health & Heels Magazine 

is intended for informational purposes only. You should not rely on this 

information as a substitute for, nor does it replace, professional medical 

advice, diagnosis, or treatment. None of the authors, contributors, 

administrators, or anyone else connected with Health & Heels 

Magazine, in any way whatsoever, can be responsible for any damages 

resulting from the information and advice given. 

p59 

ELANA 

MIZRAHI

Karen Behfar 

Lisa Buono 

Estee Cohen 

Rachel Essess 

Blimie Heller 

Writers 

meet 

the 

Luba Surman-Hess 

Yael Ishakis 

Malka Ismach 

Maya Karasanti 

Basya Kovacs 

Amy Lefcoe 

Sunny Levy 

Aliza Polstein 

Tanya Rosen 


6 

Debbie Selengut 

Jen Sharbani 

Devora Soroka 

Lisa Stein 

Tirza Suissa

Tanya 

letter from the editor 

7 


Rosen 

Dear readers, 

Welcome to the first edition of 

Health & Heels! I hope you are as 

excited as we are about this. Let’s 

start by talking about my love for 

salad. 

No, don’t worry, this isn’t gonna 

be diet talk. I’m talking about the 

concept of a salad. You’re not 

committing to a specific food or 

even texture; you just have a mix 

of everything you like and you can 

change up the flavors and colors 

and anything else you want. This 

magazine is a “salad” if you will. 

Our goal is to bring you anything 

and everything health related. 

Because health isn’t just the 

generic “eat right and exercise” but 

rather a “salad” of everything else 

too—emotional, mental, spiritual, 

financial and more—we bring you 

articles and features on all these! 

Tanya Rosen is the founder 

and owner of Nutrition 

by Tanya, with 12 locations 

throughout New York, New 

Jersey and Israel. 

Tanya is also the creator of 

the TAP (Tanya Approved 

Products) food line sold 

in all major supermarkets 

throughout the U.S., 

including pastries, meals, 

kugels and more, all healthy 

of course. 

In these pages you will find articles relating to anything and everything a 

Jewish woman wants to read about and learn more about, all written by 

women across the globe and across the board in terms of specialities, stages 

in life, and in Judaism. 

You will also find a photo along with each column so you can put a face to 

the name, since our goal is to give Jewish women a voice and a face. 

A special mention to Basya Kovacs who dreamed up this project and 

patiently waited until I was finally on board. Also a special thank you to the 

entire team who jumped on board despite being so busy with everything 

else. 

Ladies, we would love to hear from you! For submissions please contact us 

at submissions@healthandheelsmagazine.com. For general questions, 

suggestions, topic ideas and anything else reach out to us at 

info@healthandheelsmagazine.com. Looking forward to hearing from you! 

Tanya can be reached by emailing 

tanya@healthandheelsmagazine.com. 

To follow her daily health tips on WhatsApp, 

send her a message at 917-913-1523. 

Tanya is the author of 

Cooking With Tanya and 

Gluten-Free Cooking With 

Tanya, both presenting 

healthy and gourmet yet easy 

recipes. Aside from nutrition 

and fitness, Tanya has always 

loved writing and is proud to 

represent Jewish women after 

choosing to become observant 

at the age of 19.

letters to the editor 

FROM OUR 

inbox 

ORTHODOX AND 

EMPOWERED 

Dear Health & Heels, 

I just wanted to thank you for this verymuch 

needed magazine. At a time when 

Orthodox women are being painted in a 

negative light, this is a huge opportunity 

to combat the negative press and make 

a kiddush Hashem. I also wanted to 

thank you for the video you posted 

in response to Unorthodox. It was so 

beautiful to see an empowered woman, 

who chose a frum lifestyle, telling the 

true story of what it means to be a 

frum woman. I know our community isn’t 

without issues; which community is? But 

the misinformation about frum women 

being oppressed and living in the dark 

ages is so false, and the fact that it is 

circulating out there demands a rebuttal. 

May this magazine be a step toward 

accomplishing that! And while the hype 

and shock of the Unorthodox series has 

mostly died down (of course it did; it had 

so little substance and was based on 

lies and falsehood), the opportunity to 

portray the beauty and empowerment of 

frum women should not be missed. Best 

of luck on your beautiful mission! 

Signed, 

A Frum and Inspired Mom, Wife, 

Business Owner 

LONG OVERDUE 

Dear Editor, 

I just want to thank you for launching this 

magazine. It seems to fill a great need I 

believe is long overdue! Maybe it’s because 

it’s not easy combining health, fashion and 

inspiration under one roof. I really hope 

you’re successful in doing that. Count me in! 

Signed, 

One of Your Most Excited Fans 

INSPIRING OUR DAUGHTER’S 

- AND OURSELVES 

Dear Health & Heels, 

Thank you so much for doing this! I have a 

10-year-old daughter and it is so important 

for her to have frum female role models 

showing her that she can achieve anything 

she wants and still keep her values as a bas 

Yisrael. Wishing you loads of hatzlachah! 

Signed, 

A Mom Who Cares 


We love to hear from our readers! To submit a 

letter to the editor, please reach out to us at 

editor@healthandheelsmagazine.com. 

8

healthy bodies 

Confessions 

of a Nutritionist 

BY THE 

NUTRITION BY 

TANYA STAFF (OR 

THOSE WHO WERE 

WILLING TO 

CONFESS!) 

9 


Think your nutritionist’s eating 

habits are perfect? Of course 

they are! Except when they 

aren’t. Here’s the real truth 

about what sometimes goes 

on behind the scenes with the 

Nutrition by Tanya staff. 

Chana 

I always 

order a 

margarita. 

Jenny 

Ice cream. 

That’s my 

vice and I 

am proud 

of it! 

Ahuva 

Juicy latenight 

sandwiches 

are my thing. 

Tanya 

I like eating 

with my hands. 

Chavy 

Mozzarella 

sticks— 

enough said 

;) 

(And by the way, 

Tanya totally agreed 

with me on this one.)

HEALTHY BODIES 


Give 

Thanks 

without 

Gaining 

Weight 


10 

D


Thanksgiving 

is around the 

corner. 

11 


Follow these carefully 

curated tips for a 

healthy and enjoyable 

Thanksgiving season. 

Thanksgiving DOs & DON’Ts. The 

calorie control council has estimated 

that the average American could 

consume as many as 4,500 calories on 

Thanksgiving day! Here are some tips 

to ensure that won’t be you! 

ONT 

DO: Eat the white meat only, not dark. 

DO: Eat breakfast and all your meals and snacks as usual. 

Don’t be tempted to “save” calories. 

DO: Drink a lot of water throughout the day to fill you up and 

eliminate fake hunger. Try drinking two cups of water right 

before the meal. 

DO: Find out the menu ahead of time if you’re a guest. This 

will help mentally prepare you and help you decide what to 

eat before you start smelling everything and making bad 

decisions in the moment. 

DO: Wear something tight, even a belt. This will be a physical 

reminder/barrier to overeating. 

DO: Offer to bring a salad or a healthy dish. Make sure to 

place this next to you as you’ll see that everyone will want 

some. 

DO: Start with salad or vegetables. Fill up at least half your 

plate with these. 

DO: Cheat smartly. If you’re going to cheat, do so in the right 

way. Have one portion of one tempting item. Have this sitting 

down and enjoy it slowly. 

DON’T: Have stuffing. Substitute with Melba Toast or 

rice instead. Half a cup of stuffing typically has 195 

calories! 

DON’T: Have cranberry sauce from a jar. Make your 

own instead. ¼ cup cranberry sauce from a jar can have 

up to 150 calories and 17 grams of sugar! 

DON’T: Have pumpkin pie or mashed potatoes, which 

usually have margarine and other additives. Have 

butternut squash or a small sweet potato instead. 

DON’T: Have apple pie. Instead, have a baked apple 

with some oats on top or just add cinnamon.


Leftover Turkey? 

No Problem! 

Turkey is an excellent source of protein and well… it’s 

DELICIOUS! Those Thanksgiving turkey leftovers 

most certainly have a place… in our stomachs! 


GET CREATIVE WITH SOME DISHES THAT 

INCORPORATE THOSE LEFTOVERS. 

• Grab your favorite veggies and leftover turkey and wrap 

it in some cabbage leaves for a healthy wrap. 

• Slice up some leftover turkey and toss it onto a salad. 

• Whip up some vegetable soup with broth and throw in 

some turkey cubes. 

• Layer a leaf of lettuce, a large slice of tomato and 

some onion on top of a thick turkey slice. Poke in some 

toothpicks through the layers and cut up into finger food. 

HOW TO KEEP YOUR TURKEY MOIST 

• Choose fresh over frozen; fresh will always come out 

tastier and juicier. 

• Keep the skin on during cooking to maintain the 

moisture (remove before eating). 

• Brine your turkey (you can search methods on Google). 

• Cook the stuffing separately. Avoid stuffing the cavity of 

the turkey as it will take the turkey longer to cook, which 

results in drier meat. 

• A thermometer is your friend and will help you make 

sure the turkey is fully cooked without overcooking it. 

• Let the turkey rest for 20 minutes 

before carving to allow the juices to 

redistribute throughout the turkey after 

cooking. 

• Skip the basting to avoid opening 

and closing the oven so that the 

temperature fluctuations don’t dry 

out the turkey. 

12


13 


photo from lilluna.com | edited by JewishLink Marketing 

Thanksgiving 

Vegetable 

Platter 

It’s easy to get lost at the 

Thanksgiving dinner table with so 

many food options, but a vegetable 

platter is a great way to fill up on 

healthy choices and stay focused 

on your goals. 

It’s colorful, appealing to the eye, can include 

a huge variety of vegetables and you can put 

several types of dressing on the side as well... 

including, of course, the healthier versions. 

Some vegetables can include: 

Cherry and grape tomatoes, baby carrots, celery 

sticks, broccoli, cauliflower, sugar snap peas, 

string beans, zucchini sticks, peppers, sliced 

cucumber, Brussels sprouts, asparagus, kohlrabi, 

beets, mushrooms, fennel, baby artichokes and 

more. So many options!


Sweet 

Potato 

Pie 

DID YOU KNOW THAT 

A SINGLE SLICE CAN 

CONTAIN OVER: 

• 300 calories 

• 20g of fat 

• 20g of sugar 

• 50g of carbohydrates 

Avoid the store-bought pies and 

make sure to select the healthier 

recipes that omit sugar, crusts and 

other unnecessary ingredients. 

You won’t believe how delicious 

HEALTHY tastes. 

MYTH 

FACT 


Skinless Turkey 

Has Less 

Calories and Fat 

It does have less calories and fat; however, not by 

that much. While the skin is the highest in calories 

and fat, the calories you save by removing it before 

baking are not significant enough to do so. It’s 

more of a moisture catcher—so just keep the skin on 

so your turkey maintains juiciness, and be sure to 

remove the skin off your portion before eating. 

14


15 


The 

by Tanya Rosen 

Trainer’s 

Take


FEEL TIRED ALL THE 

TIME? TRY EXERCISING! 

This might sound like an oxymoron, 

because the last thing you feel like 

doing when you’re tired is exercising. 

However, exercise releases endorphins 

that leave you feeling a lot happier, 

less tired and a lot more energized! 

Getting in just a half hour of exercise 

could increase your focus and health as 

well as lower depression levels. Get off 

your chair and benefit your mind and 

body simultaneously! 

START BY DOING 

ANYTHING. FIND 

SOMETHING YOU LIKE 

AND GO FOR IT. 

Don’t get hung up on the details. 

You’ll get stuck before you even 

start. Getting in shape shouldn’t be 

a burden. Especially because one of 

the main goals of exercise is feeling 

good! Choose something that gets you 

excited, and start with it. It’s okay to 

start out with something easy as long 

as you are enjoying it! 

CHANGE YOUR MOOD 

AND YOUR LIFE, NOT 

JUST YOUR BODY. 

Misconception: Looking better on the 

outside is the best part about getting 

in shape. 

NOT TRUE!! Although looking better is 

an obvious benefit, the most satisfying 

part is the mood and energy changes 

you feel right after. Being in shape is 

beneficial for all areas of your life— 

physical, emotional and psychological. 

FIND WORKOUTS THAT 

MAKE YOU WORK. 

Don’t be lazy! If you want to see results 

you gotta put in the work! Step out of 

your comfort zone and do something 

spontaneously challenging. You’ll feel 

amazing when you’re done! 

“If it doesn’t challenge it’s not going to 

change you.” 

SET SMALL, ATTAINABLE 

GOALS YOU CAN REACH 

ALONG THE WAY, BUT 

HAVE ONE GOAL THAT 

KIND OF TERRIFIES YOU. 

Baby steps are the key to success. 

But long-term goals are what keep us 

going! Have a goal that almost scares 

you at the thought of reaching! The 

higher standards we have for ourselves, 

the more we accomplish. 

BE POSITIVE ABOUT 

YOUR PROGRESS! 

Look at how far you’ve come rather 

than how much farther you have to go. 

Be proud of yourself! Staying positive 

is one of the keys to keeping yourself 

on track! 

TIME FOR…TAP FINDS! 

What is a TAP Find? TAP finds are 

Tanya Approved Products—products 

you can buy in the supermarket that 

are healthy, good alternatives to 

something similar but less healthy, or 

portion-controlled treats. 


“You can’t take care of others if you 

don’t take care of yourself.” 

SWITCH IT UP. 

Our minds and bodies get accustomed 

to our surroundings and patterns, so 

when we do the same exercise over 

and over, our muscles adapt to it to 

make it easier. This means our bodies 

won’t develop as much with the same 

training over time. Routine can also get 

boring, so switch things up to keep it 

interesting and more challenging! 

Tanya Rosen is the founder and owner 

of Nutrition by Tanya, with 12 locations 

throughout New York, New Jersey and Israel. 

Tanya is also the creator of the TAP (Tanyaapproved 

products) food line sold in all major 

supermarkets throughout the U.S., which includes 

pastries, meals, kugels and more, all healthy, of 

course. In addition, Tanya has published two 

cookbooks, multiple workout DVDs, and is a 

regular columnist for many popular Jewish 

magazines. She lives in Brooklyn with her 

husband and five children. 

16

It’s TAP 

Finds Time! 

OH SNAP 

PICKLING CO. 

OH SNAP! 

not your 

ordinary snacks. 

Yes, they’re crunchy, delicious, and 

healthy—everything you love about 

pickles, carrots, green beans, snap peas, 

and jalapeños. However, OH SNAP! 

refrigerated, individually wrapped dill 

pickles and veggies have no added brine, 

so there’s less mess. Plus, they are singleserve 

so you can enjoy them with a meal 

or as a refreshing snack on the road, in a 

school lunch, or... right now! 

Okay now, 

how cool is 

this find!? 

Great for on-the-go 

snacking, on-the-road 

snacking...or just-aboutanywhere 

snacking! These 

crunchy, pickled veggies 

have no brine added, they’re 

also fat-free, gluten-free 

and most are zero calories 

per serving! Most count as 

free on our plan or free in 

moderation! 

Can be purchased at 

Tanya 

Walmart or Target. 

Enjoy your TAP! 

17 


Dilly Bites 

Hottie Bites Pickle Snacking Cuts 

Cool Beans 

Dilly Bites, Fresh Dill Pickle 

Pickled Carrot Sticks 

Hottie Bites 

Hottie Bites, Pickle Snacking Cut, 

Hot N' Spicy 

Gone Dilly 

0 calories 

0 calories 

10 calories 

0 calories 

15 calories 

0 calories 

0 calories 

0 calories 

TAMI’S TREATS 

Kosher Pareve. 

All Natural. 

Gluten & Dairy Free. 

No Artificial Flavors or Dyes. 

No Preservatives. 

No brine 

added 

Constantly 

fresh 

Eight 

varieties 

Fat-free and 

gluten-free 

CHOCOLATE BOMB 

NUT CLUSTER 

NUTTY SQUARE 

Single serve 

= crazy 

convenience 

Refrigerated 

for super 

crispness 

DATE-NUT TRUFFLE 

TAMI’S SIGNATURE TREAT 

Perfectly 

seasoned 

and great 

tasting 

Made with non- 

GMO cucumbers, 

carrots, green 

beans, snap peas, 

and jalapeños 

TAMI MARKOVICS 

347.693.0636 

TAMISTREATSNY@GMAIL.COM 

TAMISTREATSNY 

WWW.TAMISTREATSNY.COM 

ALMOND-DATE BAR 

PEANUT BUTTER CUP


A Bite 

of by Basya Kovacs 

Balance 


18

19 

Dear Basya, 

I am 33 years old and 

have five children. I would 

like to lose the weight 

that crept up on me over 

the course of the past ten 

years. I have been on the 

plan since the summer and 

I am quite frustrated. I 

am having trouble losing 

weight at a steady pace, 

despite being perfectly on 

plan whenever possible. 

In the past 3½ months I 

have only lost 8-10 lbs.! I 

do have a lot of simchahs 

this season as well as 

community functions and 

parties but I always eat 

well at these events. Why 

can’t I lose weight? 

Signed, 

Frustrated 

Swap Small, 

Save Big 

Eye on Melaveh Malkah 

Dear Frustrated, 

I hear your frustration about trying so hard and not 

getting anywhere. Let’s break down the year a bit and 

see if we can troubleshoot the issue. 

There are 365 days a year. Of those days, many of them 

are what we consider maintenance days—meaning, it 

would be very difficult to lose weight those days, so at the 

very least, do your best not to gain weight. Those days 

include: 

Friday and Shabbos: 104 days 

Erev Yom Tov and Yom Tov, including: 

• Pesach: 8-10 days 

• Sukkos: 8-10 days 

• Chanukah: 8-10 days 

• Rosh Hashanah: 2-3 days 

• Purim: 2-3 days 

• Shavuos: 2-3 days 

• Vacation and travel: 10-15 days 

• Simchahs and birthdays parties, vach nachts, 

upsherins, etc.: 25 days (2x per month on average) 

• Restaurant meals/meals prepared outside your 

control: 25 days (2x per month on average) 

It's also important to realize that unless a restaurant is 

specially prepared for your diet, the portion sizes will 

generally be larger and the preparation methods will 

result in higher calories, even if your choices are on track. 

This means that there are a total of almost 210 days a 

year that are not losing days! Which means there are 

only about 155 actual losing days per year—an average of 

less than three days a week! 

The key here is patience! It is so common to get 

frustrated by the slower-than-expected pace and quit. 

But if you stick to it and accept that life throws us many, 

many challenges, you will reach your goal! Just hang in 

there—because quitting often means gaining the weight 

back, at which point you will probably have to start this 

whole process again, but the same challenges will keep 

coming back! 

Hopefully this will give you a more realistic perspective. 

Best, 


BasyaBasya Kovacs is one of Nutrition by 

INSTEAD OF CALORIES SWAP IF FOR CALORIES SAVINGS 

Whole wheat bagel 300 

Cream cheese (2 

tablespoons) 

8 Oz. Cup of orange 

juice 

120 

120 

Whole wheat english 

muffin 

Reduced-fat 

cream cheese (2 

tablespoons) 

Bottle of vitamin 

water zero 

120 180 

70 50 

10 110 

Total 540 Total 200 340 Cal 

Tanya’s beloved nutrition counselors. 

Having lost over 30 lbs. and keeping 

it off for ten years, Basya shares her 

balanced, practical approach to health 

and weight loss. To have your health 

and weight loss questions answered, 

please email us at 

info@healthandheelsmagazine.com.


Weight 

Loss News 

You May 

Have 

Missed 

by Basya Kovacs 


Warning: 

Side effects may include weight 

loss! Just a couple of months ago 

the FDA approved a drug to help 

weight loss among overweight or 

obese adults. The drug, Wegovy 

(semaglutide), “induces weight loss 

by reducing hunger, increasing 

feelings of fullness, and thereby 

helping people eat less and reduce 

their calorie intake,” according to a 

company statement. 

20

Several experts said 

that this drug has the 

potential to seriously 

change care of patients 

when it comes to weight 

loss. Wegovy is the first 

new medication approved 

for weight loss since 2014 

and this one is a game 

changer, promising up 

to 15% weight loss, with 

some patients getting 

more than 20% after 

taking the drug for about 

a year. 

While a healthy and 

portion-controlled diet is 

always the recommended 

way to lose weight, this 

new drug may help 

people who have been 

struggling with appetite 

and finding it difficult to 

keep their portion sizes 

in check. Of course, like 

all weight loss drugs, side 

effects are likely to be 

more than just weight 

loss—so please discuss 

this with your doctor. 

21 


Wegovy is the first new 

medication approved for 

weight loss since 2014 and 

this one is a game changer, 

promising up to 15% weight 

loss, with some patients 

getting more than 20% 

after taking the drug for 

about a year. 

Basya Kovacs is passionate about all things health 

and weight loss. She is a nutrition counselor and 

manager at Nutrition by Tanya as well as the 

managing editor of Health & Heels Magazine. She 

is also a product developer and is the wholesale 

and product director for the TAP food line. She 

writes for several magazines and newspapers, 

and in the past several years her entertaining 

and informative lectures and workshops 

have become very popular. When she 

is not flying off to Miami she lives 

with her husband and five children in 

Clifton, New Jersey. For questions or 

for speaking engagements, please 

contact her at 

347-938-9113.


Let’s Get 

Cooking! 


22 

As the saying goes, families that eat together stay 

together. But sometimes we get stuck trying to find 

recipes that are both delicious and nutritious. This 

recipe section will present recipes that are easy to 

make, healthy and designed to please even your 

pickiest eaters. So let’s get cooking!


Overnight 

Oats 

23 


Oats are a wonderful source 

of fiber and have antioxidants 

as well as protein. Oats may 

lower cholesterol, help relieve 

constipation, and may improve your 

blood sugar level control. PLUS, 

oats are super filling, so they’re 

great to have when you’re trying to 

stave off hunger for a longer time. 

This recipe is a no-cook preparation 

of oatmeal that is made by 

marinating the oats in milk and 

warm cinnamon spice. Topped with 

fresh or dry fruit, this makes for a 

hearty breakfast or healthy on-thego 

snack. 

INGREDIENTS 

• 2 cups old-fashioned oats 

• 2 cups unsweetened almond milk 

• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract 

• Pinch of salt 

• 2 tablespoons sugar-free maple 

syrup or your choice of sweetener 

• 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon 

• 2 tablespoons chopped almonds 

(optional) 

DIRECTIONS 

1. Combine all ingredients in a 

bowl and mix well. 

2. Pour into a jar or small 

individual containers and 

refrigerate overnight. 

3. Top with fresh fruits right 

before serving. 

WHAT YOU’LL NEED 

• Mixing bowl 

• Jar or container 

YIELD: 4 Servings 

COUNT EACH SERVING AS: Breakfast


Banana 

Oat 

Muffins 

Did you know that bananas may help 

with constipation, heartburn and 

stomach ulcers? They’re also a great 

source of energy as well as vitamins C 

and B6, potassium and manganese. 

WHAT YOU’LL NEED 

• Mixing bowls 

• Loaf pan 

• Spatula 

• Cooling rack 

DRY INGREDIENTS 

• 1 ¾ cups whole oat flour 

• 1 cup rolled oats 

• 1 ½ teaspoons baking 

powder 

• 1 teaspoon baking soda 

• 2 teaspoons ground 

cinnamon 

• ¼ teaspoon salt 

WET INGREDIENTS 

• 3 ripe bananas, mashed 

• ¼ cup coconut oil 

• cup sugar 

• 1 egg 

• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 

DIRECTIONS 


YIELD: 12-14 Servings 

COUNT EACH SERVING AS: 1 Snack 

1. In a bowl, mix the wet ingredients. In a 

separate bowl, mix the dry ingredients. 

Gently fold the dry ingredients into the 

wet ingredients. 

2. Line a loaf pan with parchment paper. 

Pour the batter into loaf pan. Bake 

at 350°F for 1 hour, until a toothpick 

inserted into the cake comes out clean. 

3. Cool on a cooling rack for 1 hour before 

serving. 

24


Available 

for Download 

Makes the perfect 

Chanukah gift!


A NARROW PATH 

My Weight 

Loss 

Surgery 

Journey 

by Leeba Wein 

The night I decide to 

go ahead with surgery I 

am at my in-laws’. It has 

been a beautiful Shabbos 

and melaveh malkah 

is underway. I am on a 

“dieting break,” which is 

a term that may seem to 

suggest that I am conscious 

of what I’m eating while 

still allowing myself some 

leeway, but it is just an 

excuse to gorge myself on 

whatever I see, which is 

exactly what I had done 

all weekend, and the week 

preceding that weekend. 


26

27 

Yet I always tell myself, 

and honestly believe, that 

Sunday is the day I will 

make it all go away. The 

constant cycle of dieting 

and losing and letting go 

and gaining will all come 

to an end this coming 

Sunday, when I start yet 

again. 

It is my husband who 

had opened my mind to 

the idea of surgery, one 

I had always been dead 

set against. I am not 

one of “those people.” I 

don’t need to go under 

the knife to turn my life 

around. I am a mature, 

responsible adult, wife 

and mother of two little 

kids while holding down 

a full-time job, who has 

the intelligence and 

capabilities of sticking 

to a diet plan, eating 

healthily and sticking 

to portion control. I just 

know it is only a matter 

of time and I will finally 

do what it takes. 

Yet I don’t. And with 

the cycle of eating and 

dieting and failing once 

again comes a bitter 

sense of self-loathing, 

one that makes me 

promise that I will never 

touch another morsel 

of cake or kugel. And 

my husband, who has 

watched me struggle 

for the four years he’s 

known me, watched how 

every failed attempt at 

weight loss sends me into 

a spiral of poor selfesteem, 

how a (to him) 

small problem keeps on 

casting a shadow over so 

many aspects in my daily 

life, suggests I look into 

surgery. His friends have 

done it. So many people 

we know have done it. 

This could be the solution 

to get me where I want 

to get. 

I balk at the idea. I will 

kick this habit and I will 

do it myself. I will not 

admit to failure. 

Secretly, though, I am 

enticed. I am certain 

I am not going to go 

ahead with it, yet I am 

interested enough to do 

some research. I log onto 

an online community 

forum and anonymously 

request information from 

other women who have 

been through the journey. 

I read the responses as 

they come in, and I’m not 

sure if I would prefer that 

they be persuasive or the 

opposite. Some comments 

are negative. Most of 

them are extremely 

encouraging. Yet I am 

adamant, I do not need 

surgery. I can do this 

myself. 

Surreptitiously, without 

admitting it even to 

myself, I begin inquiring. 

When someone tells me 

they or their relative had 

the sleeve done, I ask for 

the doctor’s name and 

whether they are happy 

about their decision. I file 

this information in my 

mind, yet am determined 

not to actually use it. 

It is a few weeks later 

on a Motzaei Shabbos 

when the fateful decision 

is made. Nothing has 

changed, yet that is 

precisely what leads me 

to this moment. Nothing 

has changed, and I am 

about to make that 

change. 

I realize what I knew 

all along. I cannot live 

my life to the fullest on 

this roller coaster. I have 

been doing this for as 

long as I can remember, 

a minimum of 15 years 

since childhood. I have 

tried every diet plan, 

every diet hack. I have 

tried rewarding myself 

and punishing myself. Yet 

nothing has changed. 

I take a long and hard 

honest look at myself. I 

have two options. I can 

either continue living in 

denial, continuing to ride 

the ups and downs of the 

journey I have always 

been on, always hoping 

“I can do this myself” 

for a better tomorrow, 

or I can steer the ship 

in a different direction, 

allowing my journey to 

change course, hopefully 

dramatically. 

I feel a thrill, an 

excitement at the 

prospect of finally 

getting to the destination 

I have been trying to 

reach for years now. And 

I feel shame. I am one of 

“those people.” I cannot 

control myself and need 

a surgeon to do it for me. 

Sunday morning, I 

am energized. I reach 

out to a couple of 

acquaintances who I 

know have gone through 

bariatric surgery. I choose 

carefully, as I am loath to 

admit to anyone I know 

personally that I am 

considering surgery. Yet 

I connect with a friend 

of a friend and the wife 

of one of my husband's 

friends and I start my 

inquiries. I learn that 

the sleeve gastrectomy, 

my preferred option, 

is the best option. I 

get information about 

the best doctor, the 

procedure and its 

aftermath, and life 

after. Everyone I ask is 

extremely encouraging. 

Life has changed for 

them, and for the better. 

I bombard them with 

questions. I want to know 

everything. If I am going 

to do this, I want to do 

this right. I collect the 

information I need, and I 

sit down to evaluate my 

options. 

I choose to use the 

doctor I have heard 

about most, one who has 

performed the procedure 

on many women I either 

personally know or 

have heard about. Yet I 

cannot call him. I sit on 

this information for a 

week or so, thinking and 

rethinking and evaluating 

my options. 

My weight has been such 

a determining factor 

in my life. Every event, 

every day had centered 

around my weight at the 

time. 

My successes, my failures, 

my pregnancies and birth 

of my two beautiful girls, 

nothing had bypassed 

that aspect of my life. It 

is time to let go. 

I make the call. 


Leeba Wein (a pen name) is a freelance writer living in 

New York. For inquiries, she can be reached 

at leebawein@gmail.com.


ASK THE PHARMACIST: WITH 

Luba 

Surman 

-Hess 

Being friends with Luba for 25 

years has many perks, but one 

of my favorites is never having 

to Google the name of any 

medication and hoping the info is 

accurate. Luba is a knowledgeable 

and experienced pharmacist with 

lots of experience in small and 

large pharmacies. As a woman 

herself and having dealt with many 

women over the years, Luba knows 

the real inside scoop on any meds 

and vitamins relating to women. 

In this ongoing column Luba will 

answer anything you want to know 

about meds without having to 

resort to Google and its dubious 

results. Send in your questions to 

Lsurman@gmail.com. 

QWhat over-the-counter medications 

A 

(OTCs) for allergies are safe 

to use during pregnancy and 

breastfeeding? 

You are pregnant or nursing a baby, 

you are tired, your back hurts, you 

might start crying at any moment... 

And now on top of everything you 

are dealing with allergies. Sneezing, 

runny and stuffy nose—those allergy 

symptoms are unbearable. But 

being pregnant or nursing puts a 

lot of restrictions on which overthe-counter 

medications you can 

use to treat allergies. It has been 

reported that 10 to 15 percent of 

women take an antihistamine to 

treat allergic symptoms. There is 

even a condition called pregnancy 

rhinitis (drip or runny nose) that 

may affect 20 percent of pregnant 

women and may present during the 

last six or more weeks of pregnancy 

without respiratory infection or 

allergic cause. The safest OTC 

options include saline nasal spray 

to decongest and loosen mucus, 

as well as nasal strips (e.g., Breath 

Right) to open up nasal passages. 

Antihistamines such as Doxylamine 

and Loratadine are considered a 

safe option during pregnancy to 

relieve sneezing and runny nose. For 

breastfeeding moms, according to 

LactMed (a peer-reviewed database 

part of the National Library of 

Medicines), second-generation 

antihistamines such as Claritin or 

Zyrtec are recommended over firstgeneration 

antihistamines such as 

Benadryl because the latter may 

decrease milk supply, especially 

before lactation is well established. 

Always check with your doctor or 

pharmacist before starting any new 

medication. 


Luba Surman-Hess is a mom to two amazing children and 

a practicing pharmacist for 15 years. She is excited to be 

part of this incredible community and share her knowledge, 

empowering all women to take better care of 

themselves and their families. 

28

29 

healthandheelsmagazine.com

healthy soul 

Get Out 

of ‘Me’ 

Way! 

by Aliza Polstein 

Just today I got a 

phone call from 

one of my dearest 

childhood friends. 

I could barely 

believe it had been 

16 years since we 

had last spoken. 

I always admired 

and—if I’m being 

completely honest— 

envied this friend. 


30

She was born into a prominent 

rabbinical family whose illustrious 

lineage could be traced back many 

generations. She was smart and 

talented and it was clear from a 

young age that nothing would stand 

in her path toward greatness. Not 

me, though. I was born to people 

who had only recently discovered 

their Jewish faith. 

My lineage constitutes many 

generations of Jews ignorant of a 

Torah lifestyle. I was an average 

student without the benefit of 

having parents with a strongenough 

background to ever be able 

to help me with my limudei kodesh 

schoolwork. My parents were typical 

baalei teshuvah, learning the ropes 

as they went along, but some of the 

nuances that come from growing up 

frum were lost on us. I remember as 

a child telling my friends that I was 

going to “Agooda Midwest” for camp 

that summer. That’s how my parents 

pronounced “Agudah” and it was 

the source of tremendous comical 

entertainment to my sixth-grade 

friends. As a teenager I pushed the 

limits in different areas, and even 

within the confines of halachah I 

expressed myself more uniquely 

in my mode of dress than others 

around me. My entire framework of 

a frum lifestyle was based on the 

small community I grew up in, which 

provided me a very limited view. 

What I learned was: the stronger 

your Jewish background, the more 

successful you will be. Though I was 

socially popular and felt admired 

for my sense of style and talent for 

singing, in the things that “really 

mattered” I would never 

healthy soul 

measure up. And the thing was, I 

knew everyone else knew this too. 

Moving to a new city, I was able 

to shed some of that insecurity, 

feeling I could reinvent 

myself and be whoever 

I want. But regardless 

of how successful or 

accomplished I would 

become in certain areas 

of my life, deep down I 

suffered from imposter 

syndrome, afraid of being 

discovered for who I really 

was, incapable and unfit. 

I had trained myself 

as a young girl to view 

myself only in reference 

to the people around 

me. I existed in relation 

to my friends and their 

capacity to succeed, their 

level of intelligence and 

their overall proficiency 

in existing in our frum 

“system.” 

In catching up with my 

friend and telling her 

about my life—my job and 

accomplishments—she 

responded with 

sentences like 

“I’m shocked!” 

and “how do you 

know how to do 

that?” 

Right then and there I 

realized how paralyzed 

I had been for so many 

years, shooting myself down 

with those same responses, 

shocked at my aspirations 

and questioning my own 

abilities. It dawned on me 

that I had been seeing 

myself through the eyes 

of others—or at least 

what I assumed they 

saw—and therefore blind to my own 

self worth, capabilities and strengths. 

I have begun to crawl out of the hole 

that was conceived by my perception 

of other people’s expectations for 

me. I am no longer the person 

binded by what others believed to 

be inaccessible to me based on my 

upbringing and background. I feel 

liberated by the knowledge that 

the only person keeping me from 

accomplishing my dreams is me. And 

I pray for the courage to get out of 

my own way. 

31 


Aliza Polstein is the program coordinator for Chicago Torah Network and 

has led trips to Israel, given weekly chaburos and maintained relationships 

with Jewish women from all backgrounds. Aliza is a role model to women 

throughout the community as they navigate their lives. She is very passionate 

about women’s learning and growth. Recently, she launched Soul Purpose, 

an organization created to give frum women opportunities for 

connection, mentorship and personal growth.

healthy soul 

Sunny Levi 

Several months ago my mother invited me 

to Chicago to participate in a program she 

was organizing, called Soul Purpose. The 

program, an inspirational two-day seminar 

for women from frum backgrounds, boasted 

an impressive itinerary filled with workshops 

and lectures designed to allow us return to 

our everyday lives inspired and empowered. It 

all sounded amazing. Just not for me. 

I would love to say I was hesitant because I am 

incredibly busy with work and family, which I 

am. But if I am being honest, it’s actually that 

I have a very short attention span, and 

tend to be somewhat of a cynic when 

it comes to group inspiration. (Of 

course this is exactly why my 

mom invited me.) So I spent 

the next few weeks trying 

to politely decline. 

tickets 

from Newark,” I 

told my mom, several 

days before the event. 

“I found one leaving from 

LaGuardia on Sunday morning,” 

she replied. “But they are 

ridiculously expensive,” I 

informed her. “Abba and I 

are happy to pay for it,” she 

countered almost before I 

said it. 

I totally saw that one 

coming. But I don’t 

want to, I whined 

(to myself). “But 

the kids, work, 

“I checked, and 

there are 

really no 

clients...life...” I continued feebly, knowing it was 

just a matter of time before I caved. One thing 

about my mother is that she is highly persistent. 

And so a few days later I resignedly packed 

an overnight bag and headed to Chicago for 

two days of “doing what I gotta do to make 

mom happy.” I rescheduled my clients, made 

arrangements for my children, and got on 

the plane, hoping the program wouldn’t be a 

waste of time. At least I’ll get to see my mom, I 

consoled myself. 

Well….let me just say...sometimes mothers really 

do know best. I was completely blown away by 

the event. The first thing that struck me was 

that everyone there was just like me: normal, 

down-to-earth women juggling families, work 

and other obligations. Each one had sacrificed 

to take a few days out of their busy schedules to 

focus on personal growth. 

The entire event surpassed all expectations 

(okay, not that difficult considering I had come 

with pretty much none), but the highlight of the 

program was the keynote lecturer named Sunny 

Levi. 

A little about Sunny: Aside from being a 

motivational speaker, Sunny Levi is a 

mother of six, a seventh-degree black-belt 

taekwondo master, personal trainer, and a 

yoga and self-defense instructor. Sunny 

was like no one I had ever met before. 

Low key and unassuming, with an 

understated sense of humor, Sunny 

captivated us all with the story of 

her personal journey of growth 

and connection with Hashem. 

She spoke several times over 

those two days, leaving us 

awed and empowered in a 

way that was completely 

unexpected. 

So when this magazine 

actually began taking 

shape, I knew I needed 

Sunny on board. And true 

to form, in her no-fuss, 

low-key way, Sunny agreed 

to share her story with our 

readers. And so, I present 

to you…. 


32

Some call me out-ofthe-box. 

Others call 

me an anomaly. I just 

call myself me, Sunny 

Levi. A mom. A wife. A 

G-d-loving Jew. 

I’m also a seventh-degree black 

belt taekwondo master. 

And to put that into 

perspective, there are fewer 

than 10 female certified 

seventh-degree black belts in 

the country, and I am one of 

them. With all due humility, 

I’m proud to say, my name is 

inscribed on a wall somewhere 

at the revered “Kukkiwon,” 

the World Taekwondo 

Headquarters, in Seoul, Korea. 

I’ve won many medals and 

trophies at state, national 

and international martial arts 

competitions. 

healthy soul 

Once I got my driver’s license 

and could drive myself 

downtown to acting classes 

and auditions, I worked hard, 

got those coveted callbacks, 

and prevailed my way into 

commercials and films, 

becoming a card-carrying 

member of the Screen Actors 

Guild. 

I married a Harvard-grad Jew 

who spent time meditating in 

the ashrams of Southeast Asia, 

a classic Bu-Jew. Following our 

Orthodox Jewish wedding, we 

honeymooned for five months 

in Thailand, toured around 

Two years ago we picked up 

and moved to Arizona. Now, 

one of my favorite pursuits is 

sharing my story in hopes of 

inspiring others to become their 

true selves. 

So how did this all come 

together? 

Well, to understand me better 

we need to put some things in 

context. Let’s go back in time 

to 1968 when my story began. 

To be continued… 

33 


I got involved in martial arts 

“by accident” when I was eight 

years old, and I immediately 

fell in love with it. It spoke to 

me. The discipline, the rigor, the 

certainty—I don’t know what 

exactly. But ever since then, 

for the past 35 years, I’ve been 

training, competing, teaching, 

preaching and coaching 

empowerment. 

Some of my other passions 

include eating green, clean, 

natural foods, hiking and 

yoga, giving birth at home and 

cracking up on the couch with 

my husband and six kids, and 

talking to G-d. 

Three of our kids are black 

belts, with the younger three 

poised to move up the ranks. 

My oldest daughter, Eden, 

wrote and published a book for 

teens on emunah, faith. 

I grew up in Chicago, the third 

of six kids, the oldest girl—we’re 

three and three—sandwiched 

between my youngest brother 

and my older one, who is blind 

with severe mental disabilities. 

Growing up, Hollywood and the 

Olympics were my lodestars. 

Bangkok on a motorcycle, and 

two years later made aliyah to 

Israel. 

Fast forward to today, my 

husband Daniel, the son of 

a Reform rabbi, boasts three 

Rosh Hashanahs spent deep in 

prayer at the tomb of Rabbi 

Nachman of Breslov in Uman, 

Ukraine. 

Between adjusting to my 

brother’s disabilities, my 

dad’s illness and death, my 

autoimmune condition, and 

more, Emunah and hitbodedut 

have been pivotal in my life. 

Sunny Levi is a mother of six, a seventhdegree 

black-belt taekwondo master, 

personal trainer, yoga and self-defense 

instructor, inspirational speaker, writer and 

teacher of personal prayer. In addition to 

teaching and coaching women and children 

both in person and online, Sunny also works 

as a martial arts therapist at Kids Kicking 

Cancer where she helps children with chronic 

illness overcome the fear and physical 

discomfort of their condition and treatment. 

Sunny is passionate about spreading 

emunah, eating clean, drinking green, hiking 

and talking to G-d. She and her family 

recently moved from Chicago to Scottsdale, 

Arizona. You can keep up with her on 

Instagram at @sunnyblackbelt or 

Facebook at Sunny Ariella Levi, or 

Sunny’s Martial Arts and Fitness.

healthy soul 

Reflections 

by Tirzah Suissa 

The Torah 

answers a 

question that 

science does 

not: How shall 

we live? 


While science explains how the world came 

to be, Torah congruent with science goes 

beyond the creation of the physical. It 

has, in fact, to do with our moral and 

spiritual situation in the universe. Some 

may argue that Torah is a compilation of genealogies, 

prophecies and laws. However, it previously tells us the 

most fascinating stories of the relationship between G-d 

and His people, who were created in His image. 

This column will examine the life of female characters in 

Tanach. These women were perverse queens, prostitutes, 

prophetesses, rich, poor, married, single, widows, young 

and old. Far from being fictional characters, they are real 

women who fought tragedy, or perhaps were the cause 

of it. Women who risked their reputation for others, full 

of compassion and wisdom to overcome challenges. Their 

life stories can depict the similarities between their lives 

and ours, helping us understand and thereby enrich our 

relationship with G-d. 

Succeeding the creation of Adam and Chava in Bereishit, 

the scenery to the story rapidly changes from paradise 

to a fallen world. As the stories unravel, it exposes the 

nature of the biggest problems in the human race and 

the origin of our worst sufferings. Throughout Tanach 

we learn to recognize the battle that mankind has been 

grappling with: our search for our Creator, the search to 

fill a place in our existence that belongs to a relationship 

with the Almighty. 

Chava’s name means “mother of all life.” She was 

conceived in a world that was at complete peace with its 

Creator. She lived in Gan Eden with Adam and enjoyed 

all the pleasures of a pure life. She had not known 

shame, hurt, jealousy, bitterness or suffering. Ultimately, 

she was tempted by the serpent who persuaded her to 

eat the forbidden fruit that G-d strictly commanded them 

not to eat. Soon afterward, they heard Hashem’s voice 

and hid from embarrassment, fear and shame. 

From that moment, Chava was punished and the 

punishment centered on pregnancy and childbirth. The 

Talmud asserts that Chava was given 10 curses, seven of 

which are learned from Bereishit 3. It says, “And to the 

woman He said, ‘I will make most severe your pangs in 

34

35 


childbearing; in pain shall you bear children. Yet your 

urge shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over 

you.’” Man and woman were banned from Gan Eden and 

were destined to live a life of arduous work until finally 

their bodies returned to dust. 

Chava was the first woman to conceive a child and the 

first to have a fertilized egg in her uterus. Despite the 

pain during labor, she recognized now that her life was 

indeed in Hashem’s hands: “Now the man knew his wife 

Eve, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, ‘I have 

gained a male child with the help of the Lord.’” On this, 

Rashi adds that men and G-d were copartners in the 

creation of life. 

Throughout centuries, women had to bear the results 

of labor, the pain, confusion and disorder associated 

with the birth of a child. However, what arises from this 

experience is the magical connection between mother 

and a child, something that only the Creator of life could 

provide to mankind. 

I once heard from a mother at a hospital share: “I think I 

understand G-d better. I generated something that I love 

deeply but I can’t control. 

”Perhaps we can take some time while davening to go 

to a quiet place, surrounded by the beauty of creation, 

and meditate on how life must have been in Gan Eden. 

Imagine how it could be to live life in peace with all 

your relationships, not ever feeling shame or confusion. 

Maybe we can thank Hashem for creating us capable of 

reflecting on love, truth, strength, goodness, wisdom and 

beauty. 

Thus, Torah answers the question that science does not: 

the Jewish understanding of G-d and humanity. We are 

G-d’s ezer kenegdo. As the rabbis say, we are His shutaf 

bema’aseh bereishit, His partner, His helper, in the work 

of creation. 

From that covenant between G-d and the human 

individual we have gradually, over the centuries, learned 

to build a society founded on relationships. First by 

creating a marriage. Then by creating a family. Then 

by creating a tribe. Then by creating a nation. And, 

ultimately, by creating a world. 

DIVE IN 

Tirzah Suissa is a young writer who is passionate about Jewish 

philosophy and the aspects of emunah in daily life. She was born in 

Brazil, moved to Israel at the age of 18 where she attended the Hebrew 

University of Jerusalem, and later seminary. Tirzah currently 

resides in Brazil as she completes her medical degree. She 

is frequently in the United States working for Shabbat. 

com, representing its social media as global ambassador. 

Please feel free to reach out to her through Shabbat. 

com or through getemunah@outlook.com. Follow her on 

Instagram @getemunah 

WWW.CVRGENY.COM 

@CVRGENY 

LIKE A DIVA!

healthy soul 

I love that I can 

effect change in 

Heaven. 

SO 

UL 

FO 

OD 

Rav Moshe Cordovero teaches us in 

Sefer Tomer Devorah that when we 

express mercy toward one another, we 

bring this element of Heavenly mercy 

into the world. Plain and simple. 

Except that it’s not that simple. 

Emulating Hashem’s 13 Attributes of 

Compassion is not how we are wired. 

It goes against our nature to not take 

revenge and/or give the benefit of 

the doubt. We have to be committed 

to conquering that nature in order to 

have a chance at success. 

It can be confusing where to focus on 

getting started with change. We are 

inclined to say things like, “From now 

on I’m going to be a better person” 

or “I am going to start being nicer 

to people.” It sounds like a plan but 

it’s really our yetzer hara leading us 

to failure by offering up a plan that 

quiets that nagging voice of “I really 

should be working on my middos” but 

doesn’t offer any kind of real direction 

or practical, measurable results. So 

what do we do? 


36 

by Amy Lefcoe 

photo credit pexels.com 

I find the attribute “Mi kamocha, Keil— 

Who, Hashem, is like you” an excellent 

place to start. It’s an easy middah 

to understand once we learn it, and 

there are many practical opportunities 

to emulate it in our day-to-day 

interactions. “No sin has ever been 

committed unless at the very instant 

the person was sinning, Hashem was 

knowingly granting him the power 

to exist and move his limbs.” When a 

person does an aveirah, he sins with 

the very gifts G-d gives him! Certainly, 

Hashem could withhold those gifts at 

any given moment, but He doesn’t. 

Instead, He “endures and tolerates 

disgrace until the sinner returns in 

teshuvah.” In simple words, Hashem 

could seal a person’s lips together or 

make all of his teeth fall out while he 

shares a juicy piece of gossip but He 

doesn’t. Instead, Hashem “bears the 

insult and endures the offense until we 

do teshuvah.” Wow—that’s pretty nice 

of Him.

1 

2 

3 

SO HOW DO WE EMULATE 

THAT IN OUR INTERPERSONAL 

RELATIONSHIPS? LET’S LOOK AT 

SOME SCENARIOS: 

You really need help with a shul fundraiser that you are 

chairing and your good friend Malkie is not rising to the 

occasion. She keeps telling you about how busy she is and 

her crazy schedule. What is her problem? Does she think 

you have tons of free time to work on this? You are so 

frustrated with her and filled with judgment. A few months 

later she is working on a fundraiser for the school. She asks 

you if you could take a few small things off her list. What 

do you do? 

You participated in making the time surrounding Pessi’s 

simchah special (cooking, decorating, hosting, etc.). It was 

a ton of work but you were happy to participate. After 

all, your families have been friends for years. When it was 

time for your simchah, she was one of the few friends who 

didn’t do anything. Your feelings were hurt but you decided 

to let it go. In time, you brought over a beautiful dinner to 

comfort her family during a time of loss. When you needed 

a comforting dinner soon after, she once again dropped the 

ball. How are you feeling about the friendship right now? 

A close, extended family member did something that 

affected your plans and it made you mad. When she calls 

you that afternoon, you don’t pick up the phone. As a 

matter of fact, you’re not even going to respond to her text. 

The next day you hear some good news that you would 

typically share with her regarding another family member, 

but you decide to keep it from her. Is this now the new 

relationship? 

In all these cases, you have 

been harmed and hurt. It seems 

reasonable and fair to withhold 

your good in the future. But guess 

what? These are custom-made 

opportunities to emulate Hashem. 

The first thing is to recognize 

them and the second is to seize 

them! By giving others the benefit 

of the doubt and not withholding 

your good you will experience 

the delectable flavor (fat free) 

of conquering your nature, give 

Hashem nachas, and be the 

catalyst for bringing this element 

of mercy into the world! 

37 


photo credit pexels.com 

Amy Lefcoe is a Jewish educator 

and loves sharing her passion for 

Torah and Jewish outlook. She is a 

teacher at BINA Girls High School 

in Norfolk, VA, and speaks for 

women’s groups locally and in Israel. 

Amy is a graduate of The Fashion 

Institute of Technology and has 

pursued Jewish studies over the past 

three decades. She is a certified 

emunah and marriage coach through 

Machon HaAdam HaShalem and 

remains an active participant in the 

organization’s personal growth and 

G-d-centered chaburas. In addition, 

she is a graduate of the revolutionary 

Shiras Sarah Teachers Training 

Fellowship. Amy spends her time with 

her husband Kevin, children, family 

and dear friends. She can be reached 

at alefcoe626@gmail.com.

healthy soul 

Attitude of 

Gratitude 

by Lisa Stein 

It was only after the loss that I was able 

to appreciate what was in front of me. Of 

course after the loss of a loved one we 

mourn and wish they were still with us. 


The loss I’m talking about is 

the loss of the ability to use 

my arms and legs. Painful 

arthritis is part of a chronic 

condition I have had since I 

was 20 years old. 

When my Crohn’s disease flares, the 

arthritis can come on strong and can be 

debilitating. It was right around the time I 

was getting engaged to my husband that 

the arthritis was so bad, my arms could 

not even lift the telephone to speak to my 

then-fiancé. It was extremely hard for me 

to feed myself, dress myself, and do other 

activities of daily living. And right before 

my wedding, which was another stressful 

time, my legs decided to give out. I could 

not climb stairs, it was hard for me to turn 

over in bed, and obviously walking was 

a chore. I was afraid that I wasn’t going 

to be able to dance at my own wedding! 

But with help from my doctors and of 

course the love from Hashem (and some 

prednisone) I recovered just in time. Those 

two separate incidents taught me to be 

grateful every single day for these things 

that we take for granted. 

38

39 

Being thankful and showing gratitude—it’s 

something we all have access to every day of 

the year. It doesn’t cost a penny, doesn’t take too 

much time, and the health benefits both mentally 

and physically are enormous. Gratitude reduces 

a multitude of toxic emotions. Our brains have 

neuroplasticity, which means whatever we feed it 

is the way it’s going to grow. So if you are a more 

positive person, your brain will start to make those 

connections, and instead of going to the negative 

first you’ll think of something more positive to get 

you through. 

Gratitude is also known to reduce envy, which is a 

very big problem these days. With everybody on 

social media showing their “perfect” lives, it’s hard 

to look inward and be grateful for all that you have. 

But doing so will help you realize that Hashem has 

given you everything you need at that exact moment 

to do what you need to do in this world. That doesn’t 

mean you can’t pray and hope for more, but just 

remember that you may not need whatever you’re 

asking for at that exact time. 

Gratitude can lead you to feel better about your 

circumstances, which in turn will make you feel 

better about yourself. Expressing gratitude to our 

significant other results in improved quality of the 

relationship. Showing our gratitude to loved ones is 

a great way to make them feel good, make us feel 

good, and make the relationship better in general. 

Another benefit both to ourselves and others is 

that gratitude can decrease our self-centeredness. 

Evidence has shown that promoting gratitude can 

make one more likely to share with others even at 

the expense of themselves and even if the receiver 

was a stranger. 

My husband and I were extremely grateful recently 

to be able to host for Shabbat an Israeli soldier who 

unfortunately lost both of his legs from the knee 

down during his time in the Israeli army. He came to 

New York to receive new prosthetics, which he does 

every few years. Even though we never met before, 

it was my honor to open my home to him and his 

family. Even with the language barrier, there are 

nonverbal ways to communicate and “speak” to one 

another. When he left, again I was brought back to 

the time where I unfortunately briefly had trouble 

with my own legs. I can’t even imagine what he 

was going through! The way he went up and down 

my stairs with his prosthetics was nothing short of 

amazing! And he did it with a smile, which makes 

him my hero. How many people do you know who 

spend their life complaining, agonizing over this and 

that, and always looking at the negative side? Even 

during COVID I’ve heard of couples meeting in the 

most unusual ways, which they wouldn’t have if not 

for the pandemic. And many people recuperating 

from COVID are so grateful to be alive and well. 

No two people have the same exact lives, and you 

have a unique purpose in this world to fulfill. Instead 

of looking outward, try to look inside of yourself and 

see what you could be grateful for in your own life. 

Start by asking yourself what is going well in my life right now, 

what and whom have I taken for granted, in which area can my 

growth really make a difference? Maybe it’s in your marriage; do 

you truly appreciate what your spouse brings to your relationship? 

When was the last time you told him/her? I hear this all the time 

in my private practice; we think our spouse is a mind reader and 

that if we’ve been married for so many years, then why don’t they 

know what we need! This is a terrible assumption. Try to spend at 

least half an hour a day face-to-face with your spouse, not talking 

through walls, and always looking at each other’s faces to build 

emotional connection. 

To me health is everything. But without experiencing trying 

times in our lives it’s difficult to remember to thank G-d for what 

we have. There is a prayer that I say before lighting Shabbat 

candles that includes the line “Thank You for the periodic times 

that are difficult for me for only that way they enable me to fully 

appreciate the good times, for only after being in the darkness 

one can appreciate the light.” 

Lisa Stein is a psychotherapist practicing in Great Neck, New York. 

She works with adults, has a general practice, and specializes in 

trauma. She welcomes your comments at steinismine@gmail.com. 

Lisa Stein, LCSW EMDR Therapist 

Great Neck, NY / 516-592-9877 


wellness & beauty 


40 

makeup 

by Lisa Buono

Hi! I’m Lisa and I 

have seen a lot of 

faces. Trust me, no 

two faces are alike! 

So learning to wear 

makeup suitable for 

your skin, eyes, and 

face is so important. 

Trendy makeup styles are fun but simply do not work 

for everyone at every age. Keeping skin youthful is 

the best way to look your very best. Learning about 

your skin’s needs and taking care of your skin is a big 

reason celebrities look so fabulous. Simple makeup 

tricks can create amazing illusions, but placed 

improperly or using too much for the wrong occasion 

can be a disaster. Starting with good skin care, 

understanding your facial features, and working some 

Hollywood makeup magic are some great steps to 

creating the very best version of you! You can be red 

carpet ready all the time! Remember, a trend is fun 

and fabulous but good skin care and correct makeup 

will be timeless! 


fact 

All cosmetics are primarily made of two main 

components. Pigment and vehicle. Pigment is 

color and vehicle is the substance used to move 

the pigment. So if you have a nude illuminating 

foundation it would consist of nude pigments and 

a form of silicone to give you that dewy, youthful 

look. Other examples could be setting powder. 

The vehicle may be mineral-based with pigment. 

Some brands use more vehicle than pigment, 

creating sheer-coverage cosmetics. 

41 


So until we speak again, remember: 

Beauty is not only skin deep, but healthy skin is the 

picture that displays every bit of you. So join me here 

for some of Hollywood’s best-kept secrets. 

Oh, by the way, I’d love to answer some of your skin 

and makeup questions and share solutions that can 

benefit everyone! It takes a village! 

Send them to LisaBmkup@gmail.com. 

Thanks for reading! 

Love, Lisa 

tip 

If your foundation has a 

silicone or silicone derivative 

then your cleanser may not be 

removing all of it. Using a makeup 

remover first is the best assurance to 

completely removing our cosmetics 

and leaving your skin ready for 

washing, toning, serum and 

moisturizer! 

Lisa Buono has been working on some of 

Hollywood’s most beautiful faces for more than 

three decades. Whether it’s red-carpet ready or 

ready for their closeup, esthetics and makeup 

artistry have been her passion for a long time. Her 

incredible journey began as a cosmetology student 

in 1985 in Eatontown, NJ, and in 1989 Joe Blasco 

School of Professional Makeup Artistry, Hollywood, 

Ca. 

Her film and television credits include Mr. and Mrs. 

Smith, Fight Club, Introducing Dorothy Dandridge, 

Gone in 60 Seconds, Once and Again, Bones, CSI 

NY, Wizards Of Waverly Place, Corey In The House, 

Dancing with the Stars, Blue Collar, Bold and the 

Beautiful, Jeopardy, The Middle, Ellen’s Game of 

Games, Jimmy Kimmel Live, and KABC News. Her 

celebrity list includes Jennifer Aniston, Olivia Wylde, 

Selena Gomez, Drew Barrymore, Matt Damon, 

Pierce Brosnan, Michael Douglass and so many 

more! 

Join her here for tricks and tips 

on how to keep your mature skin 

beautiful and your makeup perfect 

for every age, every occasion, and 

every season.


Hair Today 

Gone Tomorrow 

by Devorah Soroka 

The most 

current trends 

in hair and wig 

styling. 

Devorah is a 

mom of nine; 

five boys and four 

girls in ages ranging 

3 months to 19 years 

old. She’s a marathon 

runner who has qualified 

for Boston several times. Her 

passion for hair styling and 

cutting began as a young girl 

living with five sisters. She always 

loved styling their hair along with 

her mother’s for fun. This talent 

quickly turned into a passion and 

she began babysitting in exchange for 

hair-cutting classes during her high school 

years. 

While studying for a master’s for speech 

therapy in Israel, she noticed that she 

was living in an area where not many 

were servicing wigs and it was not easy to 

access an American wig line. She took the 

opportunity, and slowly but surely, began 

introducing wig lines and her services to the 

community. It took off from there and she was 

faced with a decision: go after her passion or 

stick to speech therapy? 

Since what she was doing brought so much joy 

to the women she serviced and helped them 

cover their hair in a way that made them feel 

so beautiful, she followed her passion and 

never looked back. She has created a positive, 

warm, accepting and loving environment for so 

many. It gives her the ability to do something 

she loves while still being able to be there for 

the ones she loves—her family. 


When women sit in her chair, in her beautiful 

and vibrant studio in Chicago, the bonding 

and friendship is palpable. 

42


Hi, friends! Here are the three styles I want to highlight this season: 

Crimped: the 

‘80s are back! 

Crimpy waves are fresh and very in vogue this season—and you can 

achieve this look at home! 

43 


WHAT IS CRIMPED HAIR? 

The crimped hair look is when you style straight or straightened 

hair with a crimping iron to create a zig-zagged, wavy texture. 

Different from loose curls and wavy hairstyles, crimped hair 

provides a purposefully frizzy, super-voluminous look. 

STEP #1: Start With Freshly Washed Hair or Wig. 

STEP #2: Blow-Dry Your Hair. In order to use your 

crimping iron, your hair must be completely dry. After 

all, burnt hair is not a good look. Wait until your hair has 

mostly dried on its own, then blow-dry it the rest of the way. 

STEP #3: Brush Your Hair. Using a smoothing bristle brush, 

detangle any knots in your hair so you have a perfectly 

smooth surface before you begin crimping. 

STEP #4: Section Your Hair. Just like with curling or 

straightening your hair, the best way to achieve this style is 

to split your hair or wig into sections. Part your hair into a 

top and bottom section, and divide each of those sections 

into a left and right side. Use lobster clips to keep the hair 

that you’re not working with out of the way. 

STEP #5: Prep Your Crimping Iron. You have two options: 

You can either use an old-school crimper or a newfangled 

zig-zag iron.The new zig-zag irons create wider crimps for 

a modern touch that slightly resembles geometric waves. 

Regardless of which tool you choose, plug it in and set it on 

the lowest setting that allows you to style your hair without 

having 

to 

make 

multiple 

passes.The 

thinner the hair, 

the lower setting you 

can get away with. 

STEP #6: Crimp Away! Using your 

crimping iron of choice, start going section by section to 

crimp your hair. Split each of your four sections into smaller 

sections to create a volumized end look that’s full of 

definition and texture. When crimping, sandwich the plates 

of the iron horizontally across your hair to give you the 

look you’re going for. Hold down the crimping iron for five 

to ten seconds per section to achieve the look. Depending 

on the thickness of your hair, you may need to hold it for 

longer. Feel free to experiment until you get it just right. 

The second style is the 

beachy wave. 

1. Take one small section of your hair in the iron and 

pull down almost till the end, but leave some 

room at the end. 

2. Turn the iron and roll it back up. 

3. Untwist the curling iron and pull away. 

4. Go through it with your hands. 

5. Your beach waves are done! 

TIP: 

A super-easy way 

to achieve this look 

is by simply braiding 

your hair or wig and 

leaving it to set 

overnight.


The third style that’s super in this season is the 

straight 

blunt 

style. 


44 

HERE’S HOW TO 

ACHIEVE THIS LOOK: 

1. Take an ear-to-ear 

section from the bottom 

of the head. 

2. Using a straightening 

iron, take a small section, 

place the iron at the root 

and glide over your hair, 

holding the plates tight 

together. 

3. Repeat in sections 

until all your hair is 

straightened. 

Devorah Soroka has also created a social media 

community where she has upward of 18k followers, 

or friends, as she likes to call them. She shares 

all things hair and wigs, lifestyle, health, 

womanhood, home, kids, running and inspiration. 

She looks forward to connecting with you 

too! You can find her at @dswigdesign on 

Instagram. 

The Famous 

Esther Aron 

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Fall 

Fashion 

The color of the season is…brown! There’s no such thing as 

black anymore. The colors that are now in are brown, off 

white, and winter white. The times of black and gray in the fall 

and winter are over! 

Colors seem to warm 

up when it cools down. 

This colorblock look is 

the perfect transition 

from summer to fall. 

There are many ways to accessorize and plan your outfits 

based on these colors. You can add a vest or a jacket to bring 

your outfit to the next level. Here are some pictures to inspire 

you to bring these colors into your wardrobe! 

Who said you can’t 

wear white after 

Labor Day? This 

look is the perfect 

winter vibe! There’s 

a reason snow is 

white and only falls 

down in the winter! 

So glamorous! A 

paid skirt, blazer 

and chunky black 

booties: the 

perfect combo 

with a fedora hat. 

This look can be 

transformed from 

day to night! 


46

47 

Beige, black and white: 

the colors that most 

people feel comfortable 

and look good in. 


Beige is 

atmosphere. It’s 

ivory, it’s cream, 

it’s stone. It’s the 

color of fall and 

it’s warmth; it 

makes me want a 

cappuccino and 

warm toast. 

They say fashion is 

what you buy. Style 

is what you do with 

it—and I couldn’t 

agree more. 

Friends 

who dress 

together stay 

together.

Every season has 

its specific clothing 

pattern trend, and 

just because you 

don’t usually like 

prints it doesn’t 

mean you can’t 

wear houndstooth. 

Style is a way to 

say who you are 

without having to 

speak. We’re in 

love with this heart 

sweater that adds 

the perfect funk to 

any plain skirt! 

Stock up on your essentials. Blue, black, brown and white 

tops will match even the funkiest colors of fur. Go ahead, 

step outside your comfort zone. 

You can’t ever go 

wrong with black 

and white. The 

classic colors blend 

with everything. 

Throw on a pair of 

statement shoes or 

jewelry and you’ll 

be the classy star of 

the show. 


48

49 



Jen Sharbani 


Dear Rachel, 

I hear your struggle and I am 

here to guide you! First, I want to 

congratulate you on taking the step 

toward becoming more modest! 

To start, modesty is a frame of mind. 

When many women choose to wear 

modest clothing they feel they are 

giving themselves the power over 

their own body and mind. 

Out there in our world we’re 

constantly bombarded with 

messages and images that 

contradict modesty and make 

immodest dress the norm. 

However, you are not the norm: 

You are beautiful inside as well 

as outside and wearing modest 

clothing (protecting your outside) 

can help you better develop who you 

are inside and shine! 

Picture Kate Middleton in her 

beautiful, modest attire and see 

Dear Modestly Yours, 

I grew up in a Modern Orthodox home where my mother wore 

pants and so did I. I want to wear more covered clothing but I 

always felt it’s boring and restrictive and not very pretty. 

How can I start to wear more modest clothing? 

Rachel L., Cedarhurst, New York 

how dignified and respected she is 

throughout the world. She looks so 

elegant and refined. By dressing 

modestly you are the queen of your 

own domain! 

I would first suggest starting with 

an area that you’ll be the most 

comfortable committing to, such 

as covering your elbows or your 

knees. Find an amazing modest 

top or skirt and put it on in front 

of a mirror. Look at yourself and 

reaffirm why you are choosing to be 

modest as well as how much more 

beautiful and respectable you look! 

You may even notice how people 

treat you differently—positively 

and negatively. Keep that in mind 

when you go outside and keep your 

affirmation in your head to remind 

yourself as you get feedback from 

people. 

Positive feedback is obviously the 

most flattering and will take you 

higher! If you encounter negative 

feedback, realize that it often comes 

from others’ insecurities about 

themselves or fear of change. Keep 

reminding yourself how strong and 

beautiful you are in your modest 

attire—like royalty! 

You’re a diamond, darling; go out 

there and sparkle! 

I wish you well on your journey of 

modesty and keep me posted on 

your progress! 

Modestly Yours 

Jen Sharbani, aka Modestly Yours, is 

a Great Neck, New York, native, living 

in the fashion capital of the world. 

Modestly Yours most recently created a 

designer collection of modest swimwear 

women can feel proud to wear from day 

to night! CVRGE is made for modest 

women seeking to look their very best 

while being gorgeously modest. Jen has 

had a passion for fashion from a very 

young age, attending college at FIT and 

from there landing at top European 

fashion houses, Valentino and Chloe, 

before taking some 

time out to raise 

her three children. 

50

healthy finances 

51 


Coffee 

Break 

A Candid 

Chat with 

the Bosses 

by Karen Behfar 

Hi, everyone, 

my name is 

Karen Behfar. 

I’m a real estate broker and owner of a busy Brooklyn 

residential real estate firm, The Behfar Team. I used 

to be a special-ed therapist for many years and I’m 

always intrigued by different frum women business 

owners. I will use this column to share with you different 

business topics and bring to you various frum women 

in business to answer business-related questions that 

can help you. If you have any suggestions for business 

topics, we would love to hear. You can email 

submissions@healthandheelsmagazine.com. 

How do you juggle running a business and running 

a home? We all run very busy lives; just being a frum 

wife and mother and managing everything at home 

keeps you busy enough. Add to that working full time 

and running a business and it can literally take over 

your life. Let’s see how these women do it.


THIS MONTH’S TOPIC IS: 

The Juggling Act. 

Tanya Rosen 

Nutrition by Tanya 

Balance and juggle are funny words to 

me. I gave up on them long ago. I prefer 

to be present and focused. What that 

means is trying to be there (whether that 

is work or home) both physically and 

mentally. It means that when I’m at work, 

I’m at work. When I’m home, I’m home. But 

before you falsely think I’m one of those 

amazing people who shuts their phone off 

at 5 p.m. and doesn’t look at it until the 

next day, let me explain. As I got to know 

myself better over the years, I realized 

two things: 

I do better with quality versus quantity. 

Hours on end? Not good. A quality 

hour or two at a time? Much better. I’m 

a better and more present mom when 

it’s focused on short intervals versus 

distracted long ones. I like doing things 

outside the house with my kids/husband 

versus finding ways to connect at home. 

This translates both into errands and into 

dates. I go on a date with each kid and 

my husband almost every week. These 

aren’t long but they’re consistent and 

they’re on a schedule so that it actually 

happens. And…delegate! Whether it’s at 

work or at home, delegate whatever you 

can (and don’t micromanage whoever is 

doing it). 

I don’t cook. 

I don’t clean. 

I don’t do paper work. 

I don’t do bank and accounting stuff. 

I don’t do recipes or product development. 

There’s a lot more I don’t do so that I 

have more time and headspace for what 

I do do. I also think that the more you 

involve your kids in your work life and the 

more you involve your staff in your home 

life, the more everyone will understand 

you and feel a part of it too. 

Tanya Rosen is the founder and owner 

of Nutrition by Tanya, with 12 locations 

throughout New York, New Jersey and 

Israel. Tanya is also the creator of the 

TAP (Tanya-approved products) food line 

sold in all major supermarkets throughout 

the U.S., which includes pastries, meals, 

kugels and more, all healthy, of course. 

In addition, Tanya has published two 

cookbooks, multiple workout DVDs, and 

is a regular columnist for many popular 

Jewish magazines. She lives in Brooklyn 

with her husband and five beautiful 

children. 

Tanya Rosen 


Odette Rishty 

It’s All A Gift 

First and foremost I prioritize being able 

to smile at everyone at all times. If I don’t 

feel like I can do that when I wake up in 

the morning, I know I need to slow down. 

Downtime at home usually solves this. 

Tefillah, a cup of coffee, some chesed, 

and a chat with a best friend while 

cooking up dinner or planning a meal 

will usually resolve it. I ask all business 

associates and shidduch communications 

to start off as texts so that my phone 

isn’t constantly ringing—and when it does 

ring it’s family and I can be present for 

them when they call. My rabbi explained 

early on that I always have a business 

partner—Hashem—and then my husband. If I 

prioritize family, my most important task, then 

Hashem will cover the rest. I love cooking, I 

love serving my family, and It’s All a Gift is a 

love of serving our Jewish community at large. 

I love finding gorgeous jewelry and gifts, so 

while it’s a struggle to always feel pulled in 

many directions, I love and want to smile and 

be present for all. I can’t say I don’t get tired. 

But a fulfilled family—who smile and hug me at 

every meal—and customers who over and over 

again send thank yous and photos of their 

happy purchases exhilarates me too! 

Odette Rishty is the owner of It’s All A Gift, 

which sells fine 14k and sterling silver jewelry 

and unique gifts. She has been proudly serving 

the Midwood and Flatbush area and beyond 

for over 12 years. Odette can be reached at 

itsallagift.com or on instagram @itsallagift. 

Left: Odette Rishty 

52

Yocheved Gross 

Wigs 

Everybody has to figure out the science of their life. Everybody 

has different family dynamics, personalities, strengths and 

weaknesses, and with that awareness it becomes easier to 

tackle everything that gets thrown at you. 

I’m in the service business; I have to know that I can only do 

hair for a certain amount of hours a day and only willing to 

travel a certain amount so that I can be home in time for my 

kids for supper, bath and bed. 

People ask me all the time, “How do you do it all?” First 

and foremost you have to have a supportive spouse across 

the board. It’s much harder for a woman to be strong and 

successful in both raising her family and running her business 

without a husband to stand 

behind her. There will be a lot of 

decisions to be made and a lot 

of trial and error. There will be 

times when you do things and 

your husband may not be so 

happy about it, and you realize 

that might not be something 

that works for us, so next time 

we are going to change things. 

Second is communication: One 

of the keys to my successful 

business is a supportive spouse, 

and even my supportive 

kids! I can’t not acknowledge 

them. When the family unit 

is supportive of each other’s 

endeavors and each other’s 

things it makes it much easier to 

conquer all. Just like I am supportive of my husband’s Hatzolah 

volunteer work, there is an equal understanding of each other’s 

needs to be successful. 

Yocheved Gross 


How do I juggle Yom Tov and work? 

It’s very simple: lots of cooking in advance or knowing you 

have to cook fresh. If you don’t have time to cook in advance 

because you were busy at work, just plan to cook fresh that 

day. I do not take jobs on Fridays. On Fridays I do my grocery 

shopping and I make Shabbos. It’s my time to do all the things 

I couldn’t do during the week. There are many times I get calls 

to take jobs on Fridays but I won’t do it because I understand 

that in order for my science to work and in order for me to be 

able to do what I do I can’t take jobs six days a week. 

Yocheved gross is a hair and wig stylist for over 22 years. She 

is one of the CEOs of Hair and Blush Academy. She runs a 

support group for mothers who have autism, and runs Ohr 

Malka, an organization that provides free hair and makeup for 

simchahs for people who aren’t able to afford it. Aside from 

working full time, Yocheved, along with her husband, is busy 

raising her five beautiful children. 

Freidy (Amy) 

Guttmann 

Hands on OT Rehab, Hands on 

Approaches, H.O.P.E Foundation 

The first thing I want to share about managing my 

work life, family life and community life is that I really 

view it more as a counterbalance, not so much a 

balancing act—because I don’t think as frum women we 

really can live our lives in that definitive way. I make 

sure I always have time at the start of the day before 

my youngest child is up to have a half hour to 45 

minutes where I am alone with no interruptions. I will 

tell you that when my children were very young and I 

was nursing them, and they were waking up 4:30-5:00 

a.m., it was really hard to wake up at 4:00, 4:30 or even 

5:00 in the morning to try to get that half hour in, but 

it was a saving grace for me and that is how I learned 

to counterbalance. 

The way I think about counterbalancing is that you 

have to commit, in your mind, to which area you are 

going to focus on that week and then bring it down to 

the day. 

I do the Miracle Morning, which is a six-step idea of 

silence, and make sure 

to have silence for five 

minutes. I do affirmation, 

which for me is prayer. I do 

visualizations, I exercise for 

20 minutes, and then I read 

something that interests 

me outside of my work, and 

I write. It takes about 40 

minutes to do all that and 

that’s the way I allow myself 

to reset and make sure my 

priorities are straight and 

I’m doing things that allow 

me to be there for the rest 

of my family, community 

and work. 

Freidy (Amy) Guttmann 

So, to summarize, taking 

that time for self care and 

the activities mentioned 

above help me be there for my family and full-time 

business. 

Friedy (Amy) Guttmann, one of the “Guttmann Sisters,” 

is a neurodevelopmental therapist and director of 

Hands on OT Rehab, Hands on Approaches, and the 

H.O.P.E. (Hands on Parent Empowerment) Foundation. 

Her focus as an international film speaker and lecturer 

is in educating and empowering the community to help 

children with anxiety, processing and learning issues. 

She can be reached at 

info@handsonapproaches.com. 

53 


Have you had the 

Gastric Bypass or Sleeve 

surgeries? 

We will work with you to: 

Maintain results 

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Continue a healthy lifestyle 

Our program can be done in person or over the phone 

844-TANYA-DIET (826-9234) | info@nutritionbytanya.com | www.nutritionbytanya.com

Money Matters 

by Yael Ishakis 

Dear Shani, 


Dear Yael, 

I’m looking to purchase a home. I have $50,000 

saved up and I can borrow $100,000 from 

family and friends. Is it better to have a larger 

down payment or a higher mortgage payment? 

To give full details, the purchase price is 

$500,000 and the taxes on the house is $8,500. 

Property is located in Jackson, New Jersey. 

~ Shani Y. 

I’m really excited that you are 

purchasing a home! 

A property is usually the biggest 

purchase in one’s life if they’re not in 

the RE field. Real estate usually 

appreciates 2% per year (national 

statistic), although the homes have 

gone up much more than 2% in the 

the past couple of years. 

Therefore it would make sense to put 

10% down as after five years you will 

have 100% return of your 

initial investment in equity in your 

home. 

Additionally, Fannie and Freddie 

don’t allow one to borrow for a down 

payment. A person is only 

allowed to get a gift accompanied by 

a gift letter. 

The reason is that a person tends to 

pay back a friend faster than paying 

a faceless bank, and that can lead to 

defaults. 

The only reason I would advocate for 

a larger down payment is if you have 

a hard time affording the 

mortgage payment with the higher 

loan amount and additional MI. (MI 

is mortgage insurance, which is 

an extra expense added because you 

are putting down less than 20% of 

the purchase price. MI is priced 

on this particular scenario at $104 

a month provided your credit scores 

and debt-to-income ratios are good. 

The mortgage insurance can get 

removed by paying down the loan to 

80% ltv or by paying your 

mortgage on time between one-two 

years (depending on the lender) and 

getting a new appraisal showing the 

value went up. 

I hope this answers your questions. 

Give me a ring if you have any other 

inquiries. 

Best of luck, 

Yael 

Yael Ishakis is the vice president and 

branch manager of FM Home Loans. 

Yael has made it her mission to provide 

mortgage financing to all her clients 

from their first home to their investment 

building and entire portfolio. Yael is a 

frequent speaker on mortgage-related 

issues, and her book “The Complete 

Guide to Purchasing a Home” is already 

on its third printing cycle. When not in 

the office, Yael enjoys tennis and is a 

voracious reader. To reach Yael, 

email yishakis@fmm.com or 

call her cell phone at 

845-548-9075. 

55 



YOUR STEP-BY-STEP GUIDE FROM 

Accepted 

Offer to 

Closing 

Table in 

New York 

by Karen Behfar 

Both parties sign, and the contract is fully 

executed now and the mortgage process can 

now begin. 

Once you have a commitment and are cleared 

to close, you’re ready to schedule closing. 

A walk-through of the property is generally 

done a day or two before closing. A walkthrough 

is there to ascertain that the home 

is in the same condition when you went into 

contract. We also make sure that the home is 

“broom clean.” Kudos to the sellers who take 

great care to leave the house as presentable 

as they would want to find it. It’s an uneasy 

feeling when the walk-through is taking 

place and the house was left dirty and not 

presentable. Besides being a legal obligation 

to be “broom clean,” it leaves a bad taste to 

the buyers. In short, leave it presentable! 

Once sitting at the closing table, the buyer 

will sign all the paperwork that has been 

prepared. Be aware that this process can take 

some time and there are more than just one or 

two papers to sign. Actually there is an insane 

amount of papers to sign, so make sure you’re 

well rested . You will typically sign the 

documents at your attorney’s office. However, 

before any final signing occurs, a few things 

will happen: 

1. The attorney will draft up all paperwork to 

transfer the deed. 

PPurchasing a home is an exciting time, 

but there are many steps and processes 

required before the home becomes your 

own. In New York, to complete the real 

estate transaction you will want to work 

closely with a real estate attorney when 

closing on your new property. 

2. The buyers will be informed of their final 

closing costs. This will include the down 

payment on the home, all closing costs, any 

unpaid taxes or utilities, etc. 

In addition to signing the papers, the buyer 

will also pay their attorney the final closing 

cost in the form of a cashier’s check. Once all 

documents are signed and the transaction is 

recorded, buyers will receive their keys (a gift 

from their broker

57 


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58

Intro by Sharona, 

nutrition counselor and 

manager of the new 

Nutrition by Tanya 

Ramat Bet Shemesh 

location 

healthy families 

59 


Elana Mizrahi 

Dear Readers, 

It is such a pleasure to be able to 

introduce Elana Mizrahi to all of 

you. Elana and I met through a 

mutual friend, but I got to know 

her more intimately as she was my 

doula at the birth of my first child. 

I can therefore tell you first-hand 

that not only is Elana an amazing 

practitioner, but she sincerely cares 

for her clients. Elana is a women’s 

healthcare practitioner certified as 

a life coach, integrative healthcare 

counselor, massage therapist and 

more. She helps women with trauma, 

anxiety, stress, infertility and the list 

goes on and on! More than her work 

in healthcare, Elana is a true source of 

inspiration as a rebbetzin and Torah 

teacher. I am so grateful to have her 

as a mentor and guide; I learned so 

much from her course on parenting 

and shalom bayis, and look forward 

to her weekly parsha emails, which 

provide me with relatable inspiration 

every week. Elana’s lessons, and 

the personal guidance she provides 

whenever I call her, are always rooted 

from a place of truth and a sincere 

desire to grow closer to Hashem. She 

Sharona 

is truly someone special! 

Happy reading


A PEEK INTO THE LIFE OF 

Elana 

Mizrahi 

facilitated by Tova Potesky 


Hi, Elana! Thank you so 

much for agreeing to this 

interview! I know you 

are so busy so we really 

appreciate the time! 

My pleasure; I am thankful for the 

opportunity! 

I see you have so many different 

certifications related to women’s 

physical and emotional health. 

Before we discuss the incredible work 

that you do, can you tell us a little 

bit about what your life was like 

growing up? 

My grandparents were chicken 

farmers and made everything from 

scratch. I therefore grew up with 

the appreciation of having a simple 

and down-to-earth life. I learned to 

appreciate all the small things in life, 

and this definitely helps me today in 

all the work and counseling that I do. 

I also grew up with the concept 

of doing “doable hishtadlus.” This 

concept helps me tremendously in 

my work because health has so many 

aspects to it, and therefore I try to 

tell everyone to only do things that 

are doable for them. 

How did you get interested in the 

fields you work in? 

My husband and I weren’t having 

kids, so we started treatments. The 

treatments went on for a number of 

years, but throughout the process 

we just felt there was no one to talk 

to, and we were extremely lonely. 

It was a very impersonal journey, 

and we felt very disconnected with 

the medical system. It was very 

emotionally draining. After a few 

years of trying many treatments that 

were all failing, we decided to take 

a break. That was when we made 

the move to Israel from Mexico City 

where we were living at the time. 

About a year later we decided to 

try treatments again. The treatment 

we were to be given was one that 

we had already tried and we knew 

wouldn’t work. However, we didn’t 

stand up for ourselves, and when the 

treatment did not work, I finally just 

broke down. I couldn’t handle the 

medical system any longer. 

Wow! That sounds really hard! So 

what happened next? 

At that point, a friend of mine 

suggested we try something natural 

instead of trying another treatment. 

We decided we may as well go for 

it, and from then on we changed 

our diet and started taking various 

herbs and supplements. We also 

strengthened our emunah and 

bitachon that if Hashem wants us 

to conceive, He will make it happen. 

Baruch Hashem, a little while later 

we conceived and had a healthy 

baby boy. 

I was so thankful, so right then and 

there I decided I want to help women 

going through similar situations. The 

first thing I did was learn massage 

therapy, because touch in itself is 

healing. I then went on to learn 

reflexology, and then I became a 

doula. I then went on to learn the 

different aspects of nutrition. I kept 

going from one thing to the next, 

as I have an extreme passion for 

learning. I tried learning as many 

therapies and techniques related to 

women’s health as possible. I even 

asked a Yemenite lady to teach 

me a uterine massage that I had 

heard about; however, she said she 

couldn’t teach it to me because I am 

not Yemenite, so it’s not part of my 

mesorah! 

Ha! That’s pretty funny! 

It was! Eventually I found an Indian 

program that I wanted to join but 

it wasn’t Jewish, so the schedule 

wasn’t working with Shabbos and 

the Yomim Tovim. I kept telling 

myself that if I am meant to join 

the program, Hashem will make it 

work for me. Shortly afterward I was 

directed to a woman in England who 

was a teacher of this same program. 

She was in the same time zone as 

me and therefore might be able to 

accommodate my needs. It turns 

out that she was very interested in 

visiting Israel, and a few weeks later 

she came to visit and was able to 

teach me all the techniques that the 

program had to offer in my very own 

hometown according to the schedule 

that worked for me! 

60

A few months later I came to America 

and got certified in prenatal care. 

Also, around that time I was seeing 

a lot of correlation between trauma 

and birth so next I learned trauma 

therapy. 

That is tremendous siyata dishmaya 

at play! How long did it take to get all 

the certificates you have? 

It’s still an ongoing process. I started 

studying in 2008, and I got my first 

certificate in 2009. After that I kept 

going for more and more, and am still 

working on additional certifications 

until today. 

You really never stop learning! 

That’s right. I am constantly learning 

new things and am constantly adding 

to my array of knowledge and 

experience. I think I was just born 

with this desire to know everything 

about the world; I’ve always loved 

science, history, nature and pretty 

much everything there is to learn. I 

have also always had a desire to help, 

and I am passionate about helping 

women achieve their dreams of having 

a happy, healthy family. I also love 

helping people create and maintain 

better relationships and connecting to 

their inner wisdom and instincts. My 

desire to help definitely came from my 

experience, and I am so thankful to 

finally be able to be on the giving side 

instead of the taking side. 

What is the typical age of your 

clients? 

I work with people of all ages, except 

young children. My youngest clients 

are in their teenage years, and the 

oldest client I ever had was 90 years 

old. 

One thing I try very hard to instill in 

women is that each and every woman 

should feel like she is a whole person 

and not just a problem! 

I also always strongly believe that 

when dealing with women we need a 

certain level of acceptance—because 

at the end of the day Hashem 

controls our health but we need to do 

our hishtadlus to make ourselves as 

healthy as can be. 

That’s a beautiful way to look at 

things. Which certification do you find 

yourself using the most? 

I focus on all aspects of women’s 

health so I am using many of my 


certificates constantly. A lot of my 

work involves fertility and postnatal 

care so those certifications are helpful. 

I also focus on helping busy women 

find the practical balance between 

their family, work, and alone time. The 

truth is that many of the different 

certifications overlap and enhance the 

effectiveness of the others. 

So practically speaking, what does a 

typical day in your life look like? 

There is no typical day! Due to the 

fields that I specialize in, many things 

tend to be last second; for example, 

I never know when a client may go 

into labor. So I am constantly running 

from one thing to the other and I 

keep my schedule flexible. Generally, 

in the morning and night I’m teaching, 

coaching and helping clients either 

through Zoom or in person. But no 

matter how busy my schedule is, I 

always make sure to exercise, daven, 

and learn every single day. I also 

always sit down to have breakfast with 

my husband every day. Many nights 

I get very little sleep and I daven to 

Hashem that the amount of sleep 

that I got should be enough for me to 

function and do everything I need to 

get done. 

Have you ever had a client you 

couldn’t help? And if so, what do you 

do? 

Of course! I have definitely had clients 

I couldn’t help. I always daven that 

I should be the right shaliach for 

the person I am working with, but I 

understand that sometimes I am not 

that person. In those cases I try to see 

myself as part of their journey, part of 

their process. 

How do you manage to balance it all 

with your family life? 

I always make sure to make family my 

priority. I only work in the mornings 

and at nights so I can dedicate my 

afternoons to my family. I am also 

great at multitasking, so I am able to 

get a lot of housework done while I 

am working. (I am actually currently 

ironing as I talk to you


Empowered 

Parenting 

facilitated by 

Tanya Rosen 

1 

2 

I admit, it’s hard to hold my attention. 

So when I heard Blimi speak at an 

event and actually did not get bored, I 

was intrigued. 

I love Blimi’s straightforward, practical 

and blunt approach to parenting. She 

says it like it is and doesn’t waste time 

on fluff. I had a great time interviewing 

Blimi and hearing her out-of-the-box 

and honest answers. I hope you learn 

as much as I did. Stay tuned for future 

tips from Blimi. 

What got you into this field? 

My own experience as a child plus my experience as 

a parent. I remember thinking as a child: I don’t like 

being punished, and it doesn’t make sense to me, 

so I began reading parenting books and created 

a vision of what kind of mother I would be. Then I 

became a parent and realized I was acting in all 

the ways I told myself I wouldn’t. I hated it and so 

did my child. When my oldest daughter was four 

years old I hit my parenting rock bottom and knew 

I needed a motherhood revival. I found incredible 

information that helped transform my parenting. 

I became so passionate about it that I started 

sharing it with anyone who would listen. I then 

realized that people love this, and they’re thirsty for 

this information. 

What is your approach based on? 

It’s largely based on attachment theory. The bottom 

line is that the relationship we have with our 

children is the most important thing. (Dr. Gordon 

Neufeld) 


It is also based on the concept of consciousness, of 

becoming aware and conscious of our own triggers, 

patterns and conditioning and asking ourselves 

things like: “What’s happening for me in this 

moment? What am I feeling?” so that we can make 

62

3 7 

4 

5 

6 

conscious parenting choices rather 

than just reacting based on what 

we’re feeling or on what our parents 

did. 

Do you feel like you can’t 

lose it in public? 

Yeah, absolutely! I wish I could say 

that I don’t care what others think, 

but if I’m honest, I do feel pressure in 

public! I even feel like my kids can’t 

lose it in public because I’m worried 

about how others might perceive 

that! 

The fascinating thing is that I 

constantly tell parents that it’s only 

normal for kids to act like kids, 

and I truly believe that. But I think 

our culture believes that a parent’s 

success is based on how well behaved 

their child is, and although I largely 

disagree with that idea (and that’s 

an entire conversation on its own), I 

know that’s how others might judge 

me or my children. 

What’s the number-one 

question people ask you? 

How do I get my kid to listen to me. 

What’s your best 

quick tip? 

Hmmm… In every interaction, 

especially the ones you’re struggling 

with, stop for a moment. 

Exit your own agenda, and meet your 

child where they are. Ask yourself: 

What’s happening for my child? 

What do you wish all 

mothers knew? 

I wish that (and I’m including myself) 

we trusted the process of maturity 

more. The way Hashem designed 

kids is that they naturally mature, 

according to the environment they’re 

in. If they’re in an environment where 

they receive nurturance, love and 

respect, they mature beautifully. We 

don’t have to constantly teach them 

every little thing. We don’t have to 

make everything into a teachable 

moment. We don’t have to push 

them toward independence. Maturity 

doesn’t happen through discipline. 

Discipline is what we do to make up 

for the maturity that is still lacking 

8 


in the child. Values are imparted to 

our children through modeling and 

through relationships. 

Slow down the teaching, start 

showing by example, focus on the 

relationship and trust the process of 

maturity. 

Any tips for fathers? 

They should know they’re very 

important in their children’s life. 

Studies show that fathers contribute 

to the development and wellbeing of 

their children in unique and valuable 

ways. 

What is an embarrassing 

child moment that 

happened to you? 

Oh, my goodness, I have so many! 

I once drove away from my oldest 

when she was two years old and left 

her on the curb because she refused 

to get in the car. I was horrified that I 

was even capable of doing something 

so negligent and, quite frankly, cruel. 

PSA: Never do this!!! 

11coaches? 

9 12 

What about when a child 

is just born difficult? 

I love that; such a good question! 

Every child is born with a different 

temperament and we have no control 

over that. Some children’s nervous 

systems are more sensitive to input 

so their reaction to physical or 

emotional stimuli will be more intense 

than your average child. It can be 

hard for them to be them because 

they experience things more deeply 

and are often highly misunderstood. 

10 13 

So… anything we can do 

as a parent? 

Yes! If we take the time to 

understand them and what they 

need, it can be empowering for both 

the parent and child, and the child 

can flourish. This doesn’t mean the 

child’s temperament will change. To 

a certain degree some things will 

always be more challenging for them. 

The Orchid and the Dandelion book, 

by W. Thomas Boyce M.D, is very 

helpful and explains why some kids 

struggle and how we can help all 

of them thrive. The orchid is the 

sensitive child who requires a large 

degree of care to grow, while the 

dandelion is your average child who 

can grow well in many environments. 

P.S. In a typical large family there’s 

usually at least one child like this. 

What makes you different 

from other parenting 

I don’t do behavior management, 

and I don’t do reward charts or 

punishments. While those may work 

in a superficial sense, I believe we’re 

missing a precious opportunity to get 

to know our child better and to truly 

help them from the inside out. 

I’m always looking for the root and 

the why of the issue. I’m looking for 

what the behavior is communicating 

and helping parents look for that as 

well. I’m not trying to put a bandaid 

on a booboo; I try to figure out why 

we have a booboo in the first place 

and how we can lovingly address it. 

How has Instagram 

affected or helped your 

business? 

It’s been amazing!!! It gives me a 

platform to share far and wide. So 

many parents have told me that 

their parenting has been positively 

impacted solely through what I share 

on Instagram, even without having 

used my services, and I’m so grateful 

for that. That’s why I do what I do. I 

want to help create change for both 

parents and children. 

Wow… any negative to 

being on Instagram? 

Thankfully, I rarely experience 

negativity on my account. However, in 

general, there is a lot of negativity on 

the platform. Unfortunately, people 

use it as an outlet for the pain and 

negativity they carry inside. I try not 

to scroll too much because of that, 

but I still find myself doing it! 

Blimie Heller is a mom who is 

passionate about helping parents 

build relationships with their children 

based on respect and trust. 

She can be reached through her 

website www.blimieheller.com. 

63 



A Date, a Window and a 

Lesson Learned 

“Finish your bagels before I leave the house; bagels are 

a choking hazard,” I warn my 10-year-old twins. “Text me 

when you are out of the shower,” I remind my teen before 

running off to work in the morning. “I know people who 

have slipped.” “Make sure you unplug the toaster, text me 

when you get there, don’t run near the steps.” My list of 

worries sometimes seems ridiculous, but my kids are great: 

they humor me and do as instructed. I wasn’t always this 

cautious. In fact, I used to be a pretty carefree mom. My 

story of extreme overprotectiveness, bordering on insane, 

dates back to when my oldest children were just babies. 

My 

Miracle 

by Basya Kovacs 

We all have miraculous 

events that give us 

pause, and sometimes 

even reshape our lives. 

Reminding ourselves 

about these experiences 

allows us to stay 

focused on the endless 

blessing Hashem gives 

us. Sharing these 

defining moments 

can inspire others to 

appreciate Hashem’s 

endless kindness. 

Fifteen years ago I was 22 years old and already the 

proud mother of a son and a daughter, Simcha and 

Sarah*, born 14 months apart. They were pretty easy 

babies, and as they got a bit older, they were super 

cooperative and well behaved, allowing me the illusion 

that I was a supermom. They slept well, they ate well, 

listened well and delighted me with every new stage and 

milestone. While other children got into mischief and 

danger, mine played nicely and seemed to naturally stay 

out of trouble. The fact that my son didn’t talk at all and 

was almost two years old did not concern me at all. I knew 

he understood what I was saying, and I could usually 

figure out what his one word “ba” meant. We had an 

understanding. Life was good. Being a mother was easy. 

It was a beautiful Sunday in May and excitement was in 

the air. My younger sister Adina had moved to Monsey 

after seminary and was dating a guy she seemed to like. 

Today was date number three, and since my parents 

still lived in Chicago, my husband and I were to have 

the honor of hosting my sister, meeting the guy she was 

dating, and seeing them off. I was feeling honored, and 

pretty excited, as not much usually happened in my sleepy 

neighborhood in Staten Island. 

We cleaned the house until it shone, dressed our two little 

ones in clothing that my sister deemed cute enough, and 

set out some cold drinks. Adina got herself ready and my 

husband and I calmed her nerves as well as our own, and 

then...it was time. Moshe walked up the path to our little 

townhouse, and we welcomed him into our home for some 

awkward conversation about traffic and the weather. We 

were impressed by Moshe’s maturity and struck by his 

handsomeness, and while there wasn’t much time to get 

to know him, we liked what we saw. When we felt we had 

done our fair share of chit chatting and analyzing we sent 

them off with our blessings. 


As soon as they were out the front door I scooped up 

Simcha, who was almost two at the time, and ran upstairs 

to my bedroom window to sneak one last peek as they 

walked to the car. I opened my bedroom window and 

Simcha and I climbed onto my bed and gave Adina 

one last wave and two thumbs up...and off the adorable 

couple went. “Job well done,” Yehuda and I congratulated 

ourselves, feeling very mature. Yehuda went to our nearby 

shul to learn and I put Sarah down for a nap. 

64

LOVE 

END YOUR 

65 

With Sarah peacefully asleep, I went back downstairs 

for some puttering and Tehillim. I davened that the date 

should go well and that Adina should have a great time, 

and more importantly, to have the clarity to know if 

Moshe was the one. After a few minutes I noticed that 

the house was very quiet. Too quiet. “Simcha,” I called. No 

answer. No “ba.” “Simcha, where are you?” I called louder 

this time. My house was small. Where was he? 

Simcha was well behaved but he was never this quiet. 

Despite being pretty much nonverbal, we usually kept up 

a little banter while he played and I puttered. Suddenly 

panic stricken, I took the stairs two at a time, calling out 

my son’s name and flinging open doors. Bathroom first— 

what if there was water in the tub! No water. No Simcha. 

Kids bedroom—just Sarah sleeping peacefully. “Simcha, 

where are you?” I hollered. Then I noticed my bedroom 

door was open and my eyes went straight to the window. 

The window. The window that I had opened a few minutes 

before to wave one last goodbye to my sister. The window 

that just a few minutes before had a solid screen and was 

now a wide gaping hole…. 

I ran over to the window with dread. “Simchaaaaaaa”.... I 

didn’t need to look because I already knew. But I forced 

myself over to the bed—forced myself to look out the 

wide, gaping hole and there, lying on the concrete two 

floors below, in a pool of blood, was my son. Terror-fueled 

adrenaline took over. I flew down the stairs, ran out the 

front door and scooped up my son. I remember thinking 

I was holding my dead baby in my arms. In retrospect I 

should have never moved him, but at the time my brain 

was off; I was in absolute panic. 

Another miracle. On Monday when I came to relieve Yehuda of his 

shift at Simcha’s bedside in the PICU, I was greeted with a surprise. 

“Mommy, I got booboo.” Yes, Simcha spoke his first full sentence in 

the hospital crib. It was as if Hashem was telling me that not only 

would my son be okay, he would be more than okay. We came home 

with Simcha on Wednesday, feeling for all the world like we had 

experienced techiyas hameisim. 

I was different, though. Changed. I no longer let my children out 

of my sight even for a moment. And I no longer thought of myself 

as a supermom. I began to understand that while my children 

were well behaved, cooperative and easy, they still needed to be 

watched carefully. Every moment that my children were safe and 

healthy became a gift that I would never again take for granted. 

Yehuda and I started a window gate gemach, to help parents 

cover the expense of childproofing their home. And I became the 

overprotective mother that I still am today. The way I see it now is 

that I have been entrusted with precious gifts and can never be too 

careful. 

*Names have been changed for privacy. 

To share your personal miracle, please contact us 

at submissions@healthandheelsmagazine.com. 


My Irish neighbors had been sitting outside enjoying the 

particularly beautiful weather when they heard a thud. At 

first they figured we must be doing some spring cleaning, 

and were tossing discard bags out the upstairs window, 

but when I flew out the door a moment later and grabbed 

up my son, they quickly pieced together what happened 

and called an ambulance, which came just moments later. 

In a daze, I raced off to the hospital while they graciously 

watched Sarah, and called Yehuda. 

#boxspot 

treat your family and friends 

in and around Monsey, NY to a 

beautifully packaged brunch 

box delivered to their doorstep. 

YOU SSHOW CARE, 

The ambulance ride was one of dread mixed with hope, as 

Simcha faded in and out of consciousness. But amazingly, 

by the time we reached the hospital, Simcha was fully 

conscious. Relief began to take the place of panic. Simcha 

was alive. Simcha was going to be okay. He had to be 

okay. 

ISRAEL BRANCH 

972-52-761-1114 

boxspotisrael@gmail.com 

The next few days were nothing short of miraculous. 

Simcha’s vitals stayed stable. He was placed under 

observation, but there was no sign of brain damage—just 

some bruising on the right side of his head, which was the 

source of all the blood. We pieced together that Simcha’s 

fall must have been broken by the awning several feet 

below the window, effectively cutting his fall to the 

concrete in half. The neighbors later told us that from 

when they heard the thud of Simcha falling until they saw 

me fly out the front door was less than a minute—which 

meant that as I was checking the bathroom and then the 

bedroom, Simcha was falling; it all happened in a matter 

of moments. 

347.563.3508 | boxspot.us@gmail.com | www.the-box-spot.com


The 

Meaningful 

Marriage 

Manual 

by Debbie Selengut 


Dear 

Readers, 

The responsibility of writing 

an article about marriage is 

scary because although my 

goals are to talk about what 

is great in marriage, and 

discuss many positive ways 

in which we can enhance our 

marriages, I realize that this 

topic might cause pain to 

women who are struggling. 

Possibly, if someone is going 

through a difficult time, they 

might feel like the mountain 

is too hard to climb. 

The last thing I would 

want to do is cause anyone 

pain. My belief is, though, 

that any step in the right 

direction, no matter how 

small you think it is, will 

have a positive outcome, 

even if only you see it. 

I also appreciate our 

diversity. If we are married, 

then by definition we share 

commonalities, but each 

one of our lives are going 

to look different from each 

other. 

Through these articles, 

my hope is that you each 

realize how blessed you are, 

and learn how to create an 

even better, closer, more 

satisfying relationship. And 

for some, it brings to the 

forefront where our work is. 

I would like to use the 

platform of this article to 

highlight and hopefully 

shed some light on the 

day-to-day components of 

marriage—what we would 

call “life.” 

When thinking of a starting 

point, I decided to look at 

something that I believe we 

all struggle with at some 

point (or points), and that 

is the very human tendency 

we have to compare. We 

can’t help it. 

It’s very easy to look at 

another couple and feel like 

in some way they have it 

better, communicate better, 

look better together, have 

more fun, work as a team 

better. 

MEANINGFUL MINUTE 

Remember when you went to camp? Remember 

color war, watching the other team and seeing 

them looking so “busy,” so energized, what is 

everybody doing? 

We have no idea what is going on with any couple 

or inside any other relationship. We can feel a 

lot of pressure from what we perceive, and then 

in turn put a lot of pressure on ourselves, on our 

husbands, on our children… 

Let’s think about that. Realize that people show 

us the slice of life that they want us to see. 

I want to attach a small, attainable goal. I love the 

ability to create a new habit, and attaching the 

exercise to an activity that we do regularly helps it 

become a habit. 

Take something that happens daily—i.e., brushing 

your teeth, driving a carpool, dropping off a 

baby at a babysitter—and attach to that “event” 

a minute of thought in which we can focus on 

something about our husbands we are grateful for. 

So, let’s say, as I wash the breakfast dishes each 

day, I will think about one positive thing about my 

husband, or something that he did for me that I 

appreciate. 

Looking forward to the journey, 

Mrs. Debbie Selengut 

Mrs. Debbie Selengut serves as an assistant principal in Bnos Bracha of Passaic. She serves as 

a consultant in schools and does teacher/new teacher training. She is a graduate of the Yesod 

Ma’ala New York Regional Fellowship of Principals, a division of Torah Umesorah. She teaches 

post-high school education, pre-marriage education, parenting and adult education courses. She is 

married to Rabbi Dovid Selengut, a rebbe at Joseph Kushner Hebrew Academy, and a therapist 

in private practice. She is a mother and grandmother. 

66

last 

healthy humor 

licksby Maya Karasanti 

Dieting can 

be hard...like... 

for real?! 

67 


I had no idea! 

It’s not like I’ve 

been struggling 

with these extra 

rolls all my life. 

I’m 1 roll short 

of opening 

Maya’s Bakery. 

And while it’s a bakery filled with 

sweet rolls, pastries, breads, and 

doughnuts, the deliciousness makes 

the pounds pile on like a stack of 

pancakes! Mmm... pancakes... with 

syrup... maybe some strawberries... 

definitely whipped cream... lots and 

lots of whipped cream. 

NO MAYA! Stop it! That’s what 

founded your body bakery in the first 

place! OY I say! OY! 

But now, let’s call it like it is: 

Dieting IS 

hard! Not 

“CAN be”... It 

IS IS IS! 

There is no getting around it because 

you need to change your eating 

habits, moderate your food intake, 

eat less of all the bakery things you 

love, among other tasty things like 

fried foods. And now I want fried 

foods. It’s a never-ending cycle. 

But you’re not alone. And this is where 

the eye roll comes in... *cue eye roll* 

Because let’s face it... by now we 

all know we’re not alone. We know 

there are so many women, girls, and 

people in general that struggle with 

a healthy lifestyle on a regular basis. 

For some it may be easier than for 

others but we have all had a taste, a 

dollop, a portion of what it’s like to 

struggle with better food decisions. 

It’s hard for everyone because even 

if you’re working to MAINTAIN your 

weight, that’s still effort. Let alone if 

you’re trying to lose or gain weight. 

The key is to find the better ways 

to make it work. Cahoot with a 

nutritionist, friends, family. Get that 

support system in place that will help 

you and share your healthy lifestyle 

with others. 

I’ll help you get started... Now I 

wanna hear everyone, all together, in 

your loudest, booming, can-do voice... 

“WE CAN DO THIS!” And... 

“WE DON’T NEED JUNK” 

And... “WE WILL MAIL ALL OUR 

JUNK TO MAYA INSTEAD” 

Excellent! I heard you loud and clear 

and I believe in you! 

Thank you in advance for your junky 

donations, I will be expecting them 

shortly. 

Sincerely, Maya’s Bakery 

Maya Karasanti has always believed that smiles 

are contagious and we should all be humorously 

infectious. Throughout her life, Maya has always 

enjoyed putting smiles on people’s faces, whether 

friends, family, at her job and even strangers. A 

simple smile does go a long way. It’s no wonder 

she brings her sassy sense of humor to Nutrition 

by Tanya and Health & Heels. She 

loves to put a humorous twist to 

most situations, especially dieting. 

Make sure to check out Nutrition 

by Tanya social media to see 

videos on her take on 

nutrition.

this is a reminder to take 

3 FLAVORS | 3 PACKETS | ENDLESS HEALTH BENEFITS 

100 

enjoy taking your vitamins. 

Available in local supermarkets, on Amazon+ in Nutrition by Tanya locations. 

877-OMG-GUMMY (664-4866) | www.omggummies.com | 

@omggummies

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