happiful september 2021

Victoria’s husband has been her rock
Two years later, we got married. It was a day
of pure happiness. The darkness was nowhere
to be found and, as we walked hand in hand, I
knew we would never let each other go.
Now, 14 years later, we are still as happy as we
ever were, and have a family of our own. Life
is in a very different place now. It’s not always
buttercups and daisies, but I am in control of
my demons. They are in the darkest corners of
my mind, I am aware of them, and occasionally
they make their presence felt; the darkness still
lingers like an uninvited guest.
After all these years, though I know myself
better now, I accept that when the darkness is
present, and my world feels flat, it isn’t always
linked to anything in particular, it just exists. I
now focus my energy on something positive, I
think about things I may want in life, or dreams
I can fulfil – and although I acknowledge the
depression, it no longer consumes me. My pain
becomes constructive rather than destructive.
Last year, I needed to find myself again. It’s
easy in life, especially when you have children,
to feel a little lost. My youngest was starting
school and I was feeling redundant. I decided
I’d do something for myself, so I started writing,
letting my imagination run away, creating
characters, and escaping into other worlds.
Then I happened across a blog post asking
for submissions for a new book series called
Hometown Tales. I filled pages with childhood
adventures, but then I hit a point in my life
where the joy of nostalgia disappeared. I could
choose to continue on a different track or I could
write my truth on the page. I did just that, I laid
my life bare and it felt good; I never dreamed it
would be accepted for publication so I just wrote
it for me. It was honest and raw.
I wasn’t in control
anymore; the darkness had
introduced me to a new
ally, but it wasn’t my friend
My tale was accepted, and as the realisation hit
that my darkest secrets would be out there in
the world, I was terrified of the judgements. But
writing my truth gave me a newfound strength,
and as the editing process went along, I finally
felt free. I realised how dark my life once was, and
96 | September 2021 | happiful.com