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*Names have been<br />
changed for privacy.<br />
very concerned and searched for<br />
counsellors to help Anna but,<br />
due to her age, there wasn’t any<br />
support that they could provide,<br />
which was very upsetting.<br />
I talked with Anna about<br />
expressing emotions and tried<br />
to validate any feelings she had.<br />
When she started school there<br />
was an incident where Anna was<br />
playing with another child and<br />
an accident happened that upset<br />
the other child. Anna’s way of<br />
dealing with that was to slam<br />
her fingers in the door. She was<br />
trying to hurt herself to make<br />
things right.<br />
“It hasn’t happened again but you<br />
can see when she gets upset or<br />
frustrated she does bang her fists<br />
on herself. It is her struggling to<br />
deal with difficult emotions.”<br />
5. It’s a slippery slope to more<br />
severe self-harm or suicide<br />
Some people who self-harm<br />
may have suicidal thoughts, but<br />
many do not. The intent behind<br />
self-harm and suicide can be<br />
very different: one is a coping<br />
mechanism, and one is a desire<br />
to end their life. In this way,<br />
they could even be said to be at<br />
opposite ends of the scale, and<br />
each require a different approach<br />
to treatment.<br />
It’s important to be aware that<br />
some people’s self-harm may<br />
escalate over time, but for many<br />
their level of self-harm will<br />
remain consistent. For example,<br />
I self-harmed frequently for<br />
more than 10 years: I never<br />
required hospital treatment and<br />
my self-harm never increased in<br />
severity. This isn’t to minimise<br />
the seriousness of it, but more<br />
to make you aware that not<br />
all those who self-harm will<br />
require hospital treatment, and<br />
hopefully in time people can<br />
find alternative, healthier coping<br />
mechanisms.<br />
6. People can choose to<br />
stop self-harming<br />
Telling someone that they<br />
can ‘just stop’ is an unrealistic<br />
expectation that they often won’t<br />
be able to live up to. And for<br />
some, who may use self-harm<br />
to cope with extreme feelings,<br />
it can even be dangerous to<br />
abruptly cease all self-harm<br />
as they may be left without an<br />
outlet. It’s important to support<br />
them in finding safer ways of<br />
coping – this is likely to involve<br />
working with a therapist.<br />
Attempting to prevent someone<br />
wellbeing<br />
When someone<br />
is trying to<br />
communicate<br />
that they are in<br />
pain, they need<br />
validation and<br />
support, not ridicule<br />
and dismissal<br />
from self-harming may mean<br />
that they use riskier methods to<br />
self-harm, or feel unable to come<br />
to you with issues.<br />
Often self-harm is a symptom<br />
of another issue. My self-harm<br />
was completely entangled with<br />
my eating disorder, as a symptom<br />
of that illness. Once my eating<br />
disorder was addressed and I<br />
recovered, the daily self-harm<br />
wasn’t something I felt I needed<br />
to do anymore.<br />
7. Only ‘goths’ and<br />
‘emos’ self-harm<br />
There isn’t a ‘look’ for someone<br />
who self-harms. Anyone of any<br />
age, background, race, gender,<br />
or sexuality can self-harm. It is,<br />
unfortunately, all too common in<br />
our society, so it’s important we<br />
break down the stigma around<br />
it so that it’s easier for those who<br />
self-harm to feel comfortable<br />
sharing their struggles. No one<br />
should have to suffer in silence.<br />
With love and understanding, we<br />
can create a safer place for those<br />
who self-harm to seek out help<br />
when they need it.<br />
<strong>happiful</strong>.com | September <strong>2021</strong> | 57
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