happiful september 2021

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Do I have to tell my partner? You deserve to get the help you need, but it’s important that you feel secure and safe in having the conversation. Here, Bernadette lists some reasons you may not want to tell your partner that you’re considering professional help: • You don’t feel safe. • They may react violently. • They may make it difficult for you to access help. • They may make life difficult at home. • They may try to humiliate you. “All of these are acceptable reasons for not telling them. However, from a therapist’s perspective, they all appear to identify issues within the relationship.” If there are problems within your relationship, a therapist may have some useful advice, or you could explore scheduling a couple’s counselling session to help you improve communication with your partner. 26 | September 2021 | happiful.com
elationships Perhaps you’re dealing with a painful or difficult issue and you’re not comfortable sharing that information with anyone yet. “Whether or not you tell your partner is entirely your decision,” says Bernadette. “But, it may be worth exploring this with a therapist.” Despite any worries you have about telling your partner you need help, there is a lot that you could gain from talking to them. Bernadette says it’s important to think about how you could benefit from opening up. “Ask yourself ‘What is motivating me to tell them?’, then list some of the things you could gain by telling them.” For example: • They may acknowledge my unhappiness. • They may be supportive/ empathetic. • They may respect my courage. • They may listen. • They may offer practical help. Remember, if you’re dating someone seriously and you want the relationship to progress, you need to have hard conversations sometimes – including letting them know when you’re struggling. How do I start the conversation? If you’re concerned about telling your partner that you want to seek help for your mental health, then remember, you don’t have to do anything until you are ready. Don’t put yourself under any pressure, as this could prevent you from accessing the support you need. But, when you do feel ready, create a comfortable environment to have that conversation in – at a quiet time, without distractions, when you’re both feeling relaxed. It’s perfectly normal to get upset and to feel vulnerable Prepare what you’d like to say You may be feeling nervous or emotional, so having a few points in mind can help you to structure the conversation. Unless your problems are very serious, a short explanation about how you’re feeling and the type of support you want to get will be fine. It’s perfectly normal to get upset and to feel vulnerable. Just take your time, and ask them to be patient as you open up. Say as much or as little as you want to If your partner wants more information, they can ask, and you can answer to whatever degree you feel comfortable. If this is the first time you’ve discussed mental health with your partner, it could open a new world of conversation between you. They may decide to share details about their own mental health experiences. If your issues are deeper, a longer discussion may need to happen, but you don’t need to go into this right away if you don’t want to. You might feel more comfortable disclosing this with therapeutic assistance, such as in a couple’s therapy session. Ask for what you need Perhaps you need practical support. Could they help you search for a suitable counsellor online? Could they take you to an appointment with your GP, or your first therapy session? Asking for help is a big step, and you should do it on your own terms. But, when you’re ready, talking to your partner could not only help you to access the support you need, but it could also help you to unlock a whole new level of connection within your relationship. Bernadette Padfield is an integrative psychotherapeutic counsellor and a registered member of the BACP. Find out more about Bernadette on counselling-directory.org.uk happiful.com | September 2021 | 27
Page 1: THE MAGAZINE DEVOTED TO MENTAL HEAL
Page 4 and 5: Memory lane 16 Right on time Can ha
Page 6 and 7: Expert Panel Meet the team of exper
Page 8 and 9: KIDS Mindfulness could be key to he
Page 11 and 12: PETS Did lockdown make cats more af
Page 13 and 14: Gender neutral emojis are coming in
Page 15 and 16: wellbeing 1. You can’t crossrefer
Page 17 and 18: memory lane were being plunged into
Page 19 and 20: memory lane leeches, and a prescrib
Page 21 and 22: 3. The power of temperature Have yo
Page 23 and 24: memory lane Contrary to popular bel
Page 25: elationships How to tell your partn
Page 29 and 30: positive pointers Through insurance
Page 31 and 32: positive pointers To continue this
Page 33 and 34: elationships It takes two Spend som
Page 35 and 36: wellbeing Top tips for those strugg
Page 37 and 38: true story Bringing the walls down
Page 39 and 40: true story We talked about how I ne
Page 41 and 42: positive pointers Dutch artist and
Page 43 and 44: positive pointers The value in zine
Page 45 and 46: elationships Takin’ it personally
Page 47 and 48: elationships Self-awareness is a ke
Page 49 and 50: culture Happiful reads... Happiful
Page 51 and 52: positive pointers the rush you get
Page 53 and 54: positive pointers With a mix of per
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Page 65 and 66: culture 6 TECH TIP-OFFS Kitchen Sto
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Page 71 and 72: Win a Piece & Quiet mindfulness pac
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positive pointers “ All our self-
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elationships Family matters Family
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memory lane One Hundred Years: That
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memory lane Leo ‘I never really e
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happiful september 2021

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