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elationships<br />
How to tell your partner<br />
you need help<br />
We explore how to navigate the conversation, and help you<br />
integrate your therapeutic life into your dating life<br />
Writing | Becky Wright<br />
‘<br />
I<br />
need some professional counselling, mentoring, coaching, Part of my reluctance to tell<br />
or something else), you may still my boyfriend I wanted to access<br />
feel worried to say it aloud to the therapy was that it suddenly felt<br />
person closest to you.<br />
very serious and final. I’d been<br />
thinking about getting support for<br />
a while but, once I said the words<br />
out loud to him, I knew there<br />
would be a sense of accountability<br />
for me to book the sessions and to<br />
attend. And that in itself was scary.<br />
help, but what will my<br />
partner think? Will they<br />
think it’s their fault? Or that<br />
I’m being overdramatic? Will<br />
they think it’s unnecessary?’<br />
These are some of the questions<br />
that went through my mind<br />
before deciding to start therapy<br />
sessions earlier this year.<br />
Admitting to yourself that<br />
you need help is a huge step<br />
in looking after your mental<br />
health. But, often one of the most<br />
daunting steps in getting the<br />
support that you need is telling<br />
other people – especially the<br />
important people in your life –<br />
that you’re struggling.<br />
As much as you should feel<br />
proud of yourself for trying<br />
to access help (whether it’s<br />
Why is it hard to ask for help?<br />
In a romantic context, people can<br />
fear that ‘having issues’ will make<br />
them seem less attractive. But,<br />
according to counsellor Bernadette<br />
Padfield, there could also be other<br />
fears that make you feel reluctant to<br />
tell your loved one that you want to<br />
access professional help, including:<br />
• They’ll feel inadequate or hurt<br />
because you can’t discuss your<br />
issues with them.<br />
• They’ll feel they are responsible<br />
for you seeking help.<br />
• They could share this<br />
information with others you<br />
don’t want to tell.<br />
Why should I ask for help?<br />
Undeniably, the strongest<br />
intimate connections are built<br />
on a foundation of honesty,<br />
mutual support, and trust. As<br />
part of this, it’s natural to want<br />
to discuss important aspects of<br />
your life – including your mental<br />
health. If you’re reluctant to talk<br />
about this with your loved one,<br />
ask yourself why. >>><br />
<strong>happiful</strong>.com | September <strong>2021</strong> | 25
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