happiful september 2021

memory lane
leeches, and a prescribed walk
in the alps, due to its links to
melancholy and depression.
Today, if you’re about to go on a
trip down memory lane, Jeremy
recommends doing so with a
degree of caution.
“Nostalgia looks to the past,
often simplifying it and looking
at it through rose-tinted glasses.
This in itself is not a bad thing,
however people can get stuck
looking back to their past,”
Jeremy explains. “This often
happens when the pain of what
is happening in the present is too
overwhelming. This doesn’t mean
to say the past was better – rather
that nostalgia creates a false, but
reassuring, narrative that it was.”
As an example, Jeremy points
to how, in early 2020, there
was a tendency to compare the
Covid-19 crisis to the Blitz.
“In truth, Covid-19 is nothing
like the Blitz,” he says. “However,
this past experience existed in
our societal consciousness (even
if we don’t have lived experience
of it), and this comparison made
sense of something new.”
He explains how this same
concept can work on an
individual level too: reliving
times from our past can help us
confirm our idea of ourselves and
our connections, and that in turn
can make us feel safe and secure.
“As therapists, we’re constantly
moving between three time
zones: past, present, and future.
We look to the relationships in
our past in order to make sense
of current or future ones.
“However, we can get stuck in
the past, regretting past events,
and believing ‘if only things had
been different’ we could find
happiness in the present.”
Those kinds of thought spirals
can be difficult to break free of,
but the key is to spot when you
might be caught in one. Spend
some time reflecting on the
relationship you have with the
past, and ask yourself: are there
things that you need to let go of in
order to thrive in the future?
When all’s said and done
Human beings are fascinated
by the passing of time – we’ve
been recording it, celebrating it,
and predicting it since, well, the
start of time – and many of us are
sentimental creatures by nature.
But, as with anything, the past is
best served up in equal measures,
with an appreciation for the
present and the future.
Tap into this unique element of
the human experience, connect
with those you love the most,
reminisce on the things that
have brought you happiness,
and celebrate the hurdles you
overcame – while knowing that
there is still so much more to
come on the horizon.
Jeremy Sachs is an integrative
psychotherapist who specialises
in working with trauma recovery,
long-term conditions, adolescents,
and young people. Find out more by
visiting counselling-directory.org.uk
happiful.com | September 2021 | 19