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memory lane<br />
leeches, and a prescribed walk<br />
in the alps, due to its links to<br />
melancholy and depression.<br />
Today, if you’re about to go on a<br />
trip down memory lane, Jeremy<br />
recommends doing so with a<br />
degree of caution.<br />
“Nostalgia looks to the past,<br />
often simplifying it and looking<br />
at it through rose-tinted glasses.<br />
This in itself is not a bad thing,<br />
however people can get stuck<br />
looking back to their past,”<br />
Jeremy explains. “This often<br />
happens when the pain of what<br />
is happening in the present is too<br />
overwhelming. This doesn’t mean<br />
to say the past was better – rather<br />
that nostalgia creates a false, but<br />
reassuring, narrative that it was.”<br />
As an example, Jeremy points<br />
to how, in early 2020, there<br />
was a tendency to compare the<br />
Covid-19 crisis to the Blitz.<br />
“In truth, Covid-19 is nothing<br />
like the Blitz,” he says. “However,<br />
this past experience existed in<br />
our societal consciousness (even<br />
if we don’t have lived experience<br />
of it), and this comparison made<br />
sense of something new.”<br />
He explains how this same<br />
concept can work on an<br />
individual level too: reliving<br />
times from our past can help us<br />
confirm our idea of ourselves and<br />
our connections, and that in turn<br />
can make us feel safe and secure.<br />
“As therapists, we’re constantly<br />
moving between three time<br />
zones: past, present, and future.<br />
We look to the relationships in<br />
our past in order to make sense<br />
of current or future ones.<br />
“However, we can get stuck in<br />
the past, regretting past events,<br />
and believing ‘if only things had<br />
been different’ we could find<br />
happiness in the present.”<br />
Those kinds of thought spirals<br />
can be difficult to break free of,<br />
but the key is to spot when you<br />
might be caught in one. Spend<br />
some time reflecting on the<br />
relationship you have with the<br />
past, and ask yourself: are there<br />
things that you need to let go of in<br />
order to thrive in the future?<br />
When all’s said and done<br />
Human beings are fascinated<br />
by the passing of time – we’ve<br />
been recording it, celebrating it,<br />
and predicting it since, well, the<br />
start of time – and many of us are<br />
sentimental creatures by nature.<br />
But, as with anything, the past is<br />
best served up in equal measures,<br />
with an appreciation for the<br />
present and the future.<br />
Tap into this unique element of<br />
the human experience, connect<br />
with those you love the most,<br />
reminisce on the things that<br />
have brought you happiness,<br />
and celebrate the hurdles you<br />
overcame – while knowing that<br />
there is still so much more to<br />
come on the horizon.<br />
Jeremy Sachs is an integrative<br />
psychotherapist who specialises<br />
in working with trauma recovery,<br />
long-term conditions, adolescents,<br />
and young people. Find out more by<br />
visiting counselling-directory.org.uk<br />
<strong>happiful</strong>.com | September <strong>2021</strong> | 19