My misery is the happiness of someone else

My misery is the happiness of
someone else
no ing to f l, no ing to heal
Promotional Poetry Book
Hugo Jepsen

Intro
These words that come off of me are simply sweet! I come in peace.
This short book is a promotional one for the upcoming, great, showstopping
‘nothing to feel, nothing to heal: THE SPIRITUAL REVOLUTION’ major book, which I'm
very excited to just put out there and to tell you my story.
I wrote ‘nothing to feel, nothing to heal’ from May 2021 to July 2021 but, in
fact, the whole story began back in April of 2021. This body of work talks
about heartbreak, obviously, alternative healing therapy, connecting deeply
with strangers who became friends in a short period of time. It talks about how
change can be so powerful if we look within ourselves to just feel grounded
and stable with being alone, by being on our own.
I spent the last three months living in the Netherlands, more precisely, three
different cities over there and all of them had a different energy field to it and
all impacted me in a very determined way. The way my behaviour changed
depended beyond the people I met, I found myself with it. I was constantly in
survival mode. Some people say travel is fun, but travel is a risk, travel is
pushing the boundaries of one’s soul. Don’t quote me on that - that’s my point
of view.
Before releasing ‘nothing to feel, nothing to heal’, I would like to share some
poems I wrote while coming back home - after the whole ‘Netherlands
Voyage’. Would you be up to reading these?

WARNING: This promotional book will be online, for free, for a limited period
of time!

Poems
I. number blue
III.
II.
IV.
God’s hands
born to live fast
cookie poison
V. doctor’s office
VI.
too awful to just run
VII.
VIII.
stable, stable…
invisible scars
IX.
saved you from agony
X. just because I was conceived
XI.
love ourselves / our farewell
XII.
child of the universe

I. number blue
My misery is the happiness of someone else.
I don’t want any other shade of blue
but you.
No other sadness in the world
would do.
And I,
I smile
but barely do they know
that I’d rather die.
I’ve been right here before,
No open windows, no open door,
Just me and my cruelty
Of trying to please everyone around me
Which got me trapped in bad fame,
Known by having such a cursed name,
A game I’ve never wanted to play,
But here I am, anyway.

II. God’s hands
I grew up from the tides
Who pull the ocean to the moon,
I was born taking every ride
To tell people, I’ll see them soon.
And possibly, probably, I will,
One day sitting on a wooden bench,
I’ll look back and be happy for what I achieved,
For everything achieved by the end.
By the end of my life, duplicity goes,
Some will love me and some won’t,
But I barely know anything now, not one,
Perhaps, far ahead, I’ll do so, for once.
Not a believer of fate or of Christ,
But I did feel God’s hands
When I was just torn between
What felt good and what was best.

III. born to live fast
We were born to live fast,
To make friends, to die young,
Born to just be, born to be bad,
To enjoy life and to have fun.
Believe me, you and I,
We are the same as one
And if you never let me go,
If you decide to stay, never leave me alone.
If you love me hardcore,
Then don’t you walk away,
It’s a game boy that I don’t wanna play,
But tell me you need me more, every single day.
Send me to the stars above,
Tell me when you get here, kid,
I’ve never felt this type of love
But love me as your best friends did.

IV. cookie poison
I was once the devil
Dressed up as human,
At least they saw me that way,
A demon at night, an angel every day.
Yes, I was once an angel,
Fallen from the sky,
Barely did they know,
I harmonize secrets with my eyes.
I was once death itself,
The graveyard of exo-worlds,
Barely did I know myself
To know how to design such words.
You were once very sweet,
Turned out to be a cookie poison,
Not it just devours all of me
With simple and pure avoidance.

V. doctor’s office
At the doctor’s office, I am,
With my hands tangled up in my hair,
It was the first time that I was there,
I didn’t tell you though, I thought you wouldn’t care,
I didn’t want you to be scared.
Every night, I just pray for you,
Desperate people find faith wherever they can,
And now, I pray to the above too,
And you’ll get better because you have to.
You like to talk to the nicest of nurses,
You make so much fun of a bad deal,
Even though, you’re getting worse,
You just pretend it isn’t real.
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do
Besides colouring your walls with blue
And I’m doing it so, just because
It will release you from the trauma of blood.

VI. too awful to just run
Immaculate them, one and all,
That’s what they do want,
It’s not up for me to decide
Which words of yours are true or lies.
But on the shipwreck of daydreams,
I see a reflection of what I used to be,
But every time that I, now, look in the mirror
I can see everything, everyone, besides me.
I’ll keep myself guarded and fed,
Remembering all the good shots
That we’ve ever, ever truly had
Since the very first night, we both met.
Is it too awful to just run,
To run without a word or two?
Because maybe, you did mean it,
Or maybe, I meant nothing to you.

VII. stable, stable…
I’m the moon in styles,
Different forms, shapes,
Bitten by the worst of lies,
Poisoned by human snakes.
Stable, stable, tree of winter,
Trimming, glooming spades,
A window covered with snow smoke,
Love poured out just to waste.
And I’m aware, wide awake,
To all these people who smile
Who talk to me by being fake
With truth in their eyes but false faces.
My tears have been blood,
Red-lipped girls with skirts
Who don’t know better to do,
They were just fooled by you.

VIII. invisible scars
I see monsters in the clouds,
piano sounds sounding so loud,
sometimes, I can't get it out,
but sometimes I live in the now.
dark forests hollowing me behind,
all the steps I've taken in this life,
cowboys and horse tamers allied,
probably, coming for what's mine.
I had shields, around me, of iron,
somehow you broke it entirely,
with lies covered in red and blue,
I'm the origin of what you can do.
And you can paint art, drive cars,
beat me up with ball-peen hammers
while you leave me with invisible scars,
but after that, send me to the stars.

IX. saved you from agony
I carry the weight
Of pearls filled with light,
Diving deep in the ocean
To be noticed by the night sky.
I walk through the fog
Where candles lay in graveyards,
And I see our names on tombstones
With craved-shaped broken hearts.
There’s no true art without pain,
All ink ever made has tasted blood,
All artists didn’t die in vain
Because our inspiration is their hurt.
And if I’ve ever failed you,
I’m truly, honestly, very sorry,
I’m in sorrow, I’m in agony
To become a braver warrior.

X. just because I was conceived
Bending backwards, they see,
They know nothing of my trees,
They don’t see them grow as I do,
For them, the ocean is just pure blue.
Because they can’t perceive it as me,
Their intuition is flame without gas,
As you did it to me in the name of the free
And as you burned everything we’ve ever had.
A leap of faith towards the future
Is called to be loved by some people,
But I say nothing, no more words,
Hear the ghosts and their whispers.
I am the shield of corruption,
I’ve had much more to give
But I turned gold into corrosion
Just because I was conceived.

XI. love ourselves / our farewell
Feeling the wind, I’m able to see
The craters of the moon and you
And in all the stars, you see me
And we watch humans travelling to Peru.
Never felt your embrace again,
Never thought he wouldn’t have met,
Never even had the chance of goodbye,
Now, only the memory of your eyes.
While cleaning up the counters,
I used to watch you over the door,
There were you with your iPhone,
Playing games like thousands of times before.
I still dream, I still dream,
Of the day we’ll both love ourselves
As Kings or Queens on the throne,
And that our past wasn’t our farewell.

XII. child of the universe
I see the ink of blue in the sky,
I wish the world was different by now,
But as if not, don’t let me die,
Broken pieces of glass falling down.
There are demons coming for me,
I tell them to go away, I tell them no,
I tell them that I wish -
That's all, everything, I know.
But I know nothing at all,
I move with outer gravity,
Hope everyone sees me well
When nobody understands my reality.
I was once a child of the universe,
But I came down to Earth
To teach people how to better love
But they are not able to do enough.

Sample
nothing to feel, nothing to heal - preface (sample)
I went through battles, I went through war, to find just a tiny piece of
cherished soulful love.
I moved countries, from Portugal to the Netherlands in hopes to find a
universe of mine where all the stars were meant for me to align; something I
was looking for since the first stages of my breathtaking life.
With a taste for the fire of this world, my motto was always to grasp love and
passion everywhere and anywhere with whoever I developed feelings for -
some people call it “codependency”, some people call it “neediness” and
some people call it “lack of worth, lack of self-esteem”, and on, and on, and on.
All I wanted was love, man! But coming deep within, my intense emotional
behaviour taught me that I didn’t have to search for it because it was always
in me.
Let’s talk about love, let’s be together. That to me is more important than any
bit of wisdom that I could give. If we can make the world less lonely for each
other, we can, genuinely, save lives.
I learned that destiny commands us all but we have the power to change
destiny, we have the power to change divine timing. We are changing and
change is a spiritual revolution!
“nothing to feel, nothing to heal” shares all the moments I experienced, the connections
I made with the people in my travels; my emotions - fears, regrets, joyful
times, heartbreak, romance and more.