Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo (z-lib.org).mobi
had to fight their way out and that was where Mal had acquired the scar on hisjaw, but he refused to say more.As we were walking through a band of dessicated willows, the frost crunchingbeneath our boots, Mal pointed out a sparrowhawk nest, and I found myselfwishing that we could just keep walking forever. As much as I longed for a hotmeal and a warm bed, I was afraid of what the end of our journey might bring.What if we found the stag, and I claimed the antlers? How might an amplifierthat powerful change me? Would it be enough to free us from the Darkling? Ifonly we could stay this way, walking side by side, sleeping huddled beneath thestars. Maybe these empty plains and quiet groves could shelter us as they hadsheltered Morozova’s herd and keep us safe from the men who sought us.They were foolish thoughts. Tsibeya was an inhospitable place, a wild andempty world of bitter winters and gruelling summers. And we weren’t strangeand ancient creatures who roamed the earth at twilight. We were just Mal andAlina, and we could not stay ahead of our pursuers forever. A dark thought thathad flitted through my head for days now finally settled. I sighed, knowing that Ihad put off talking to Mal about this problem for too long. It was irresponsible,and given how much we’d both risked, I couldn’t let it continue.That night, Mal was almost asleep, his breathing deep and even, before Iworked up the courage to speak.“Mal,” I began. Instantly, he was awake, tension flooding through his body, ashe sat up and reached for his knife. “No,” I said, laying a hand on his arm.“Everything’s all right. But I need to talk to you.”“Now?” he grumbled, flopping down and throwing his arm back around me.I sighed. I wanted to just lie there in the dark, listening to the rustle of thewind in the grass, warm in this feeling of safety, however illusory. But I knew Icouldn’t. “I need you to do something for me.”He snorted. “You mean other than deserting the army, scaling mountains andfreezing my ass off on the cold ground every night?”“Yes.”“Hmmph,” he grumbled noncommittally, his breath already returning to thedeep, even rhythm of sleep.“Mal,” I said clearly, “if we don’t make it … if they catch up to us before wefind the stag, you can’t let him take me.”He went perfectly still. I could actually feel his heart beating. He was quiet forso long that I began to think he’d fallen back to sleep.Then he said, “You can’t ask that of me.”“I have to.”He sat up, pushing away from me, rubbing a hand over his face. I sat up too,
drawing the furs tighter around my shoulders, watching him in the moonlight.“No.”“You can’t just say no, Mal.”“You asked, I answered. No.”He stood up and walked a few steps away.“If he puts that collar on me, you know what it will mean, how many peoplewill die because of me. I can’t let that happen. I can’t be responsible for that.”“No.”“You had to know this was a possibility when we headed north, Mal.”He turned and strode back, dropping into a crouch in front of me so that hecould look into my eyes.“I won’t kill you, Alina.”“You may have to.”“No,” he repeated, shaking his head, looking away from me. “No, no, no.”I took his face in my cold hands, turning his head until he had to meet mygaze.“Yes.”“I can’t, Alina. I can’t”“Mal, that night at the Little Palace, you said the Darkling owned me.”He winced slightly. “I was angry. I didn’t mean—”“If he gets that collar, he really will own me. Completely. And he’ll turn meinto a monster. Please, Mal. I need to know you won’t let that happen to me.”“How can you ask me to do this?”“Who else could I ask?”He looked at me, his face full of desperation and anger and something else Icouldn’t read. Finally, he nodded once.“Promise me, Mal.” His mouth set in a grim line, and a muscle twitched in hisjaw. I hated doing this to him, but I had to be sure. “Promise me.”“I promise,” he said hoarsely.I breathed a long sigh, feeling relief flood through me. I leaned forward,resting my forehead against his, closing my eyes. “Thank you.”We stayed like that for a long moment, then he leaned back. When I openedmy eyes, he was looking at me. His face was inches from mine, near enough thatI could feel his warm breath. I dropped my hands from his stubbled cheeks,suddenly aware of just how close we were. He stared at me for a moment andthen stood abruptly and walked into the dark.I stayed awake for a long time, cold and miserable, gazing into the night. Iknew he was out there, moving silently through the new grass, carrying theweight of the burden I had placed on him. I was sorry for it, but I was glad that it
- Page 117 and 118: “Whatever do you mean?”“You k
- Page 119 and 120: “Should I? If I can’t help you
- Page 121 and 122: CHAPTER 14As winter drew to a close
- Page 123 and 124: beautiful people in their beautiful
- Page 125 and 126: How was it that Genya had fallen so
- Page 127 and 128: She examined the toes of her satin
- Page 129 and 130: leaning on a cane.“Duke Keramsov!
- Page 131 and 132: when the room was practically vibra
- Page 133 and 134: over the ribbons at my neckline.
- Page 135 and 136: “Forgive me,” I said. “It’s
- Page 137 and 138: imagine what it’s been like here.
- Page 139 and 140: CHAPTER 15Only when I was in my roo
- Page 141 and 142: “Then talk sense,” I said. “H
- Page 143 and 144: I would never help him do that.”
- Page 145 and 146: CHAPTER 16Baghra’s relief was unm
- Page 147 and 148: “For everything.”“Hmph,” sh
- Page 149 and 150: collar around my neck and make me a
- Page 151 and 152: pace. Once I’d passed them, I ris
- Page 153 and 154: For a moment, I thought my heart ha
- Page 155 and 156: my heels and toes. My miserable nig
- Page 157 and 158: CHAPTER 17Mal took both watches and
- Page 159 and 160: “I know I can find it.”“If th
- Page 161 and 162: came down, some of the worry had go
- Page 163 and 164: “So?” asked Longface.“So Riko
- Page 165 and 166: “It was a stupid risk. I should k
- Page 167: CHAPTER 18We saw shoots of new gras
- Page 171 and 172: I shook a fur out on the cold groun
- Page 173 and 174: been passed between us. “Mikhael
- Page 175 and 176: Around sunset, we emerged from the
- Page 177 and 178: The sound was like a soft whistle o
- Page 179 and 180: in his hand.I turned away, my stoma
- Page 181 and 182: “We’ll camp tonight and leave f
- Page 183 and 184: Fold.”Ivan shook his head. “The
- Page 185 and 186: as cold and smooth as ever. “We
- Page 187 and 188: I shuddered. I hoped that Baghra ha
- Page 189 and 190: CHAPTER 21I picked at my dinner and
- Page 191 and 192: asked, and for once, his voice was
- Page 193 and 194: hold back during my conversation wi
- Page 195 and 196: lips met mine.We stayed together th
- Page 197 and 198: in crimson silks, stood a delegatio
- Page 199 and 200: breathing, I thought in terror.The
- Page 201 and 202: most valued Grisha had just punched
- Page 203 and 204: Mal as I threw the light ahead of m
- Page 205 and 206: hurtling towards me over the dead r
- Page 207 and 208: AFTERThe boy and the girl stand at
- Page 209 and 210: ACKNOWLEDGMENTSThanks to my agent a
- Page 213 and 214: FOUND NEAR RAVKA’SNORTHERN BORDER
- Page 215 and 216: more, why I toss and turn, why my r
- Page 217 and 218: when I stand at the gates of the Gr
drawing the furs tighter around my shoulders, watching him in the moonlight.
“No.”
“You can’t just say no, Mal.”
“You asked, I answered. No.”
He stood up and walked a few steps away.
“If he puts that collar on me, you know what it will mean, how many people
will die because of me. I can’t let that happen. I can’t be responsible for that.”
“No.”
“You had to know this was a possibility when we headed north, Mal.”
He turned and strode back, dropping into a crouch in front of me so that he
could look into my eyes.
“I won’t kill you, Alina.”
“You may have to.”
“No,” he repeated, shaking his head, looking away from me. “No, no, no.”
I took his face in my cold hands, turning his head until he had to meet my
gaze.
“Yes.”
“I can’t, Alina. I can’t”
“Mal, that night at the Little Palace, you said the Darkling owned me.”
He winced slightly. “I was angry. I didn’t mean—”
“If he gets that collar, he really will own me. Completely. And he’ll turn me
into a monster. Please, Mal. I need to know you won’t let that happen to me.”
“How can you ask me to do this?”
“Who else could I ask?”
He looked at me, his face full of desperation and anger and something else I
couldn’t read. Finally, he nodded once.
“Promise me, Mal.” His mouth set in a grim line, and a muscle twitched in his
jaw. I hated doing this to him, but I had to be sure. “Promise me.”
“I promise,” he said hoarsely.
I breathed a long sigh, feeling relief flood through me. I leaned forward,
resting my forehead against his, closing my eyes. “Thank you.”
We stayed like that for a long moment, then he leaned back. When I opened
my eyes, he was looking at me. His face was inches from mine, near enough that
I could feel his warm breath. I dropped my hands from his stubbled cheeks,
suddenly aware of just how close we were. He stared at me for a moment and
then stood abruptly and walked into the dark.
I stayed awake for a long time, cold and miserable, gazing into the night. I
knew he was out there, moving silently through the new grass, carrying the
weight of the burden I had placed on him. I was sorry for it, but I was glad that it
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