Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo (z-lib.org).mobi

tucked safely inside.
She led me out of a small door and handed me a leather travelling pack that I
slung across my shoulders. She pointed across the grounds to where the lights
from the Grand Palace flickered in the distance. I could hear music playing.
With a start, I realised that the party was still in full swing. It seemed as though
years had passed since I’d left the ballroom, but it couldn’t have been much
more than an hour.
“Go to the hedge maze and turn left. Stay off the lighted paths. Some of the
entertainers are already leaving. Find one of the departing wagons. They’re only
searched on their way into the palace, so you should be safe.”
“Should be?”
Baghra ignored me. “When you get out of Os Alta, try to avoid the main
roads.” She handed me a sealed envelope. “You’re a serf woodworker on your
way to West Ravka to meet your new master. Do you understand?”
“Yes.” I nodded, my heart already starting to race in my chest. “You could
stop him,” I said suddenly, almost desperately. “You’re older, stronger—”
“I won’t murder my own son.”
“But you’d betray him?”
“I would save him,” she said. For a moment, she stood straight-backed and
silent in the shadow of the Little Palace. Then she turned to me, and I took a
startled step back, because I saw it, as clearly as if I had been standing at its
edge: the abyss. Ceaseless, black, and yawning, the unending emptiness of a life
lived too long.
“All those years ago,” she said softly. “Before he’d ever dreamed of a Second
Army, before he gave up his name and became the Darkling, he was just a
brilliant, talented boy. I gave him his ambition. I gave him his pride. When the
time came, I should have been the one to stop him.” She smiled then, a small
smile of such aching sadness that it was hard to look at. “You think I don’t love
my son,” she said. “But I do. It is because I love him that I will not let him put
himself beyond redemption.”
She glanced back at the Little Palace. “I will post a servant at your door
tomorrow morning to claim that you are ill. I’ll try to buy you as much time as I
can.”
I bit my lip. “Tonight. You’ll have to post the servant tonight. The Darkling
might … might come to my room.”
I expected Baghra to laugh at me again, but instead she just shook her head
and said softly, “Foolish girl.” Her contempt would have been easier to bear.
Looking out at the grounds, I thought of what lay ahead of me. Was I really
going to do this? I had to choke back my panic. “Thank you, Baghra,” I gulped.