Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo (z-lib.org).mobi

“You’re wearing his symbol,” he observed, glancing at the little gold charm
that hung from my neckline. “His symbol and his colour.”
“They’re just clothes.”
Mal’s lips twisted in a cynical smile, a smile so different from the one I knew
and loved that I almost flinched. “You don’t really believe that.”
“What difference does it make what I wear?”
“The clothes, the jewels, even the way you look. He’s all over you.”
The words hit me like a slap. In the dark of the hall, I felt an ugly flush
creeping up my cheeks. I snatched my hand from his, crossing my arms over my
chest.
“It’s not like that,” I whispered, but I didn’t meet his gaze. It was as if Mal
could see right through me, as if he could pluck every fevered thought I’d ever
had of the Darkling right out of my head. But on the heels of that shame came
anger. So what if he did know? What right did he have to judge me? How many
girls had Mal held in the dark?
“I saw how he looked at you,” he said.
“I like how he looks at me!” I practically shouted.
He shook his head, that bitter smile still playing on his lips. I wanted to smack
it right off his face.
“Just admit it,” he sneered. “He owns you.”
“He owns you too, Mal,” I lashed back. “He owns us all.”
That wiped away his smile.
“No he doesn’t,” Mal said fiercely. “Not me. Not ever.”
“Oh really? Don’t you have somewhere to be, Mal? Don’t you have orders to
follow?”
Mal stood up straight, his face cold. “Yes,” he said. “Yes, I do.”
He turned sharply and walked out of the door.
For a moment, I stood there, quivering with anger, and then I ran to the
doorway. I got all the way down the steps before I stopped myself. The tears that
had been threatening to overflow finally did, coursing down my cheeks. I wanted
to run after him, to take back what I’d said, to beg him to stay, but I’d spent my
life running after Mal. Instead, I stood in silence and let him go.