Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo (z-lib.org).mobi

imagine what it’s been like here.”
He gave a rough bark of laughter. “I don’t need to imagine. I saw your little
demonstration in the ballroom. Very impressive.”
“You saw me?”
“That’s right,” he said harshly. “Do you know how worried I’ve been about
you? No one knew what had happened to you, what they’d done to you. There
was no way to reach you. There were even rumours you were being tortured.
When the captain needed men to report back to the Darkling, like an idiot I made
the trek down here just on the chance that I would find you.”
“Really?” That was hard for me to believe. I’d grown so used to the idea of
Mal’s indifference.
“Yes,” he hissed. “And here you are, safe and sound, dancing and flirting like
some cosseted little princess.”
“Don’t sound so disappointed,” I snapped. “I’m sure the Darkling can arrange
for a rack or some hot coals if that would make you feel better.”
Mal scowled and stepped away from me.
Tears of frustration pricked my eyes. Why were we fighting? Desperately, I
reached out to lay a hand on his arm. His muscles tensed, but he didn’t pull
away. “Mal, I can’t help the way things are here. I didn’t ask for any of this.”
He looked at me and then looked away. I felt some of the tension go out of
him. Finally, he said, “I know you didn’t.”
Again, I heard that terrible weariness in his voice.
“What happened to you, Mal?” I whispered.
He said nothing, just stared into the darkness of the hall.
I raised my hand and rested it on his stubbly cheek, gently turning his face to
mine. “Tell me.”
He closed his eyes. “I can’t.”
I let my fingertips trail over the raised skin of the scar on his jaw. “Genya
could fix this. She can—”
Instantly, I knew I’d said the wrong thing. His eyes flew open.
“I don’t need fixing,” he snapped.
“I didn’t mean—”
He snatched my hand from his face, holding it tightly, his blue eyes searching
mine. “Are you happy here, Alina?”
The question took me by surprise.
“I … I don’t know. Sometimes.”
“Are you happy here with him?”
I didn’t have to ask who Mal meant. I opened my mouth to answer, but I had
no idea what to say.