GRAND Magazine Vol IIII Ed II
Victoria Vancouver Island Grandparenting Magazine Summer 2021, Move Well & Age Gracefully, Grandfathers: An Excerpt, From the Start: A Birth, Profile: Victor & Edith Newman, Master Carver & Textile Artist
Victoria Vancouver Island Grandparenting Magazine Summer 2021,
Move Well & Age Gracefully, Grandfathers: An Excerpt, From the Start: A Birth, Profile: Victor & Edith Newman, Master Carver & Textile Artist
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<strong>Vol</strong>. IV, <strong>Ed</strong>. <strong>II</strong><br />
<strong>GRAND</strong><br />
grandmag.ca<br />
Move Well &<br />
age Gracefully<br />
Grandfathered<br />
An excerpt<br />
From<br />
the Start<br />
A birth<br />
Q&a<br />
Victor & <strong>Ed</strong>ith<br />
newman<br />
Master Carver<br />
& Textile Artist
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Every month they will receive recently published books<br />
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those who matter most.<br />
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2 Grand grandmag.ca
CONTENTS<br />
4<br />
6<br />
10<br />
12<br />
14<br />
7 Grand: Ideas + Inspiration<br />
Profile: Victor & <strong>Ed</strong>ith Newman<br />
On the importance of spending time<br />
together, conversation, inclusion,<br />
leading by example and the value<br />
of community involvement.<br />
From the Start: A Birth<br />
Being there for the birth of a grandchild.<br />
raCHEL dUnSTan MULLEr<br />
Move Well & Age Gracefully<br />
How practicing mindful movement when<br />
you exercise improves your potential<br />
for moving well as you age.<br />
LESLIE HOPKInS<br />
Pandemic Grandparent<br />
Becoming a new grandmother in a<br />
pandemic requires a few modifications.<br />
aPrIL BUTLEr<br />
16 Shutterbug<br />
One grandmother’s obsession with<br />
capturing life on film.<br />
JaCQUI GraHaM<br />
18<br />
20<br />
22<br />
24<br />
28<br />
30<br />
Fort Rodd Hill<br />
Where history comes alive.<br />
Grandfathered: Dispatches<br />
from the Trenches of Modern<br />
Grandparenthood<br />
Being a grandfather doesn’t mean acting<br />
like one in these boomer grandpa days.<br />
Ian HaYSOM<br />
Frosty Summer Treats<br />
A delicious way to cool down!<br />
EMILLIE ParrISH<br />
The Best Places on Vancouver<br />
Island to take Family Photos<br />
4 top Island photographers weigh in their<br />
favourite places for a family photo shoot.<br />
Feelings First<br />
Helping your grandchildren navigate BC’s<br />
restart plan and new social situations.<br />
The Value of <strong>Vol</strong>unteering<br />
Ways to make a difference.<br />
Getting Together<br />
& Spending Time<br />
ask most people what they missed<br />
most during the pandemic and<br />
chances are they’ll tell you “each<br />
other.”<br />
Sure social media and virtual visits<br />
helped us stay connected, but they’re<br />
nothing compared to actually being<br />
together—the physical proximity,<br />
face-to-face conversations, holding<br />
hands, telling stories and the hugs…<br />
ooohhh the hugs!<br />
Few of us will argue on the importance<br />
of getting together and spending<br />
time in each other’s company.<br />
Not only is gathering together<br />
enjoyable, but it also nurtures our<br />
relationships and promotes a sense of<br />
belonging and community. A simple<br />
walk in the woods with friends or<br />
family can leave us feeling inspired,<br />
rejuvenated and connected.<br />
In The Art of Gathering: How We<br />
Meet and Why It Matters, author Priya<br />
Parker has said that at the core of any<br />
gathering there should be a sense of<br />
purpose for coming together.<br />
With grandkids, that’s easy: being<br />
together is purpose enough!<br />
And on an island so rich with possible<br />
outings and adventures, there’s<br />
never any shortage of things to do.<br />
To that end, this issue of <strong>GRAND</strong><br />
features articles on topics ranging<br />
from the best places on Vancouver<br />
Island to take family photos, moving<br />
well and aging gracefully, and cooling<br />
down with frosty treats, to being at<br />
your grandchild’s birth, the value of<br />
volunteering, and dispatches from the<br />
trenches of new grandparenthood.<br />
There’s 7 Grand, a compilation of<br />
ideas and inspiration to help keep you<br />
in-the-know and connected to community,<br />
there’s an article on becoming<br />
a grandparent during the pandemic,<br />
and there’s a profile on master carver<br />
Victor Newman and textile artist<br />
<strong>Ed</strong>ith Newman about the importance<br />
of family, conversation, leading by<br />
example and the value of community<br />
involvement.<br />
We hope this issue of <strong>GRAND</strong> inspires<br />
you to gather with those you<br />
love, to revel in each other’s company<br />
and to appreciate every moment we<br />
have together.<br />
ON THE COVER<br />
Victor & <strong>Ed</strong>ith<br />
newman<br />
<strong>Vol</strong>. IV, <strong>Ed</strong>. <strong>II</strong><br />
<strong>GRAND</strong><br />
grandmag.ca<br />
From<br />
the Start<br />
A birth<br />
Move Well &<br />
Age Gracefully<br />
Grandfathered<br />
An excerpt<br />
Jim Schneider Publisher<br />
publisher@islandparent.ca<br />
Sue Fast <strong>Ed</strong>itor<br />
editor@islandparent.ca<br />
Kristine Wickheim Account Manager<br />
kristine@islandparent.ca<br />
raeLeigh Buchanan Account Manager<br />
raeleigh@islandparent.ca<br />
250-388-6905 grandmag.ca<br />
Photo by<br />
don denton<br />
Q&A<br />
Victor & <strong>Ed</strong>ith<br />
Newman<br />
Master Carver<br />
& Textile Artist<br />
Grand, published by Island Parent Group Enterprises Ltd., is a quarterly<br />
publication that honours and supports grandparents by providing information<br />
on resources and businesses for families and a forum for the<br />
exchange of ideas and opinions. Views expressed are not necessarily<br />
those of the publisher. No material herein may be reproduced without the<br />
permission of the publisher. Grand is distributed free in selected areas.<br />
ISSn 0838-5505 518 Caselton Place, Victoria, BC V8Z 7Y5<br />
A proud member of<br />
BC<br />
grandmag.ca<br />
<strong>Vol</strong>. IV, <strong>Ed</strong>. <strong>II</strong> 3
Ideas + Inspiration<br />
7Grand<br />
Hugs for Kids<br />
Club<br />
The Children’s Health Foundation<br />
of Vancouver Island’s<br />
Hugs for Kids Club supports<br />
health programs that help<br />
children and families in our<br />
community to thrive, regardless<br />
of their medical concerns.<br />
Your automatic monthly gift is<br />
the easiest and most efficient<br />
way to make a significant<br />
contribution that will improve<br />
the lives of countless children<br />
and families. Monthly gifts also<br />
reduce the costs of processing<br />
donations, so more of<br />
your donation is going directly<br />
to Island kids and families.<br />
Start, change or stop your gift<br />
anytime. Visit islandkidsfirst.<br />
com/monthly-giving.<br />
Stigma-Free<br />
Zone<br />
Stigma is a mark of disgrace<br />
associated with a particular<br />
circumstance, quality, or person<br />
that sets a person apart<br />
from the norms of society.<br />
The Stigma-Free Tool is a<br />
simple and engaging way to<br />
assess your attitudes around<br />
stigma and to see where you<br />
can improve your actions and<br />
thoughts around the topic of<br />
stigma. This isn’t a judgement,<br />
but simply a way for you to<br />
look inside yourself and see if<br />
you are living stigma-free. You<br />
will receive a percentage at<br />
the end of the activity along<br />
with more ways to examine<br />
your perceptions and suggestions<br />
on how to take action.<br />
stigmafreesociety.com<br />
Every Child<br />
Matters<br />
To honour the 215 Indigenous<br />
children found by the<br />
Tk’emlups te Secwepemc First<br />
Nation at a former residential<br />
school in Kamloops, Indigenous<br />
artist Carey Newman<br />
has designed the heart and<br />
hands orange shirt and is also<br />
offering the feather design,<br />
from previous years. Child and<br />
adult sizes; $15 for kids’ shirts,<br />
$25 for adults. All proceeds go<br />
to the Witness Blanket Legacy<br />
Fund (witnessblanket.ca) and<br />
the Orange Shirt Day Society.<br />
(orangeshirtday.org). To order,<br />
email 215orangeshirts@gmail.<br />
com.<br />
4 Grand grandmag.ca
Summer<br />
Literacy<br />
Slow Down<br />
Kids Playing<br />
From Sea to<br />
Sea to Sea<br />
Marine<br />
Scavenger Hunt<br />
Summer Literacy on the Peninsula<br />
is series of four free<br />
outdoor events throughout the<br />
summer. All events will adhere<br />
to the current PHO guidelines.<br />
The line-up includes:<br />
Words in the Wind (July 6–13),<br />
Story Stones (July 19–26), Head<br />
Outside and READ Together<br />
(August 5) and StoryWalk with<br />
Horses (August 26).<br />
southislandliteracy.com<br />
With the school year ending<br />
and travel restrictions starting<br />
to ease, a new BCAA survey<br />
reveals that many British<br />
Columbians are worried that<br />
increased traffic and more<br />
kids playing outside could be a<br />
recipe for disaster. To remind<br />
drivers of the risk and encourage<br />
safer driving in residential<br />
areas, BCAA is again offering<br />
its free Slow Down Kids Playing<br />
reflective lawn signs. To<br />
get your sign, email your nearest<br />
Block Watch Coordinator<br />
(blockwatch.com) or drop<br />
into a BCAA Service Centre<br />
in Nanaimo or Victoria. To<br />
learn more, visit bcaa.com/<br />
community.<br />
The 2021 <strong>Ed</strong>ition of From Sea<br />
to Sea to Sea: Celebrating Indigenous<br />
Picture Books celebrates<br />
a collection of 25 of the<br />
best Indigenous picture books<br />
published in Canada between<br />
2018 and 2020. Care was taken<br />
to ensure that this collection<br />
reflected the diversity of First<br />
Nations, Métis and Inuit voices<br />
from sea to sea to sea, and<br />
that the titles are available<br />
and in print for anyone who<br />
wishes to access them. To<br />
download the catalogue,<br />
visit ibby-canada.org.<br />
Join Mount Arrowsmith Biosphere<br />
Region’s (MABR) marine<br />
scavenger hunt and on your<br />
next trip to the beach, use<br />
their clues to help find each<br />
critter. Discover something<br />
that’s not on the list? Draw it<br />
at the end to identify it later.<br />
To download the Marine Scavenger<br />
Hunt list, visit mabr.ca/<br />
at-home-activities.<br />
grandmag.ca<br />
<strong>Vol</strong>. IV, <strong>Ed</strong>. <strong>II</strong> 5
Profile<br />
Victor & <strong>Ed</strong>ith Newman<br />
Master carver Victor Newman and his wife, textile artist and clothing<br />
designer, <strong>Ed</strong>ith Newman, have raised three children, Marion, Carey<br />
and Ellen. Victor’s great grandfather is legendary Kwakwaka’wakw<br />
artist Charlie James and his aunt is carver Ellen Neel so it is no surprise that<br />
Victor and <strong>Ed</strong>ith’s son, Carey Newman, has become a multi-disciplinary Indigenous<br />
artist and master carver who created “The Witness Blanket,” made<br />
with over 800 items collected from residential school survivors and the former<br />
residential school buildings. It was Victor, a residential school survivor,<br />
who inspired Carey to create the powerful monument, one that involved the<br />
entire Newman family. Now grandparents, Victor and <strong>Ed</strong>ith reflect on the<br />
importance of spending time together, conversation, inclusion, leading by<br />
example and the value of community involvement.<br />
Q. What are your traditional<br />
names? What do they mean?<br />
Victor: Hemosaka, which means the<br />
making of a chief.<br />
<strong>Ed</strong>ith: Yakudlas’amega, which<br />
means she who gives everything.<br />
Q. How many children do you<br />
have? What are their names?<br />
Three. Marion, Carey and Ellen.<br />
Their traditional names are Nege’ga<br />
(she is a mountain of wealth), Hayalthkingeme<br />
(the face of a chief) and<br />
Kugwi’sila’ogwa (chief ’s seat, where<br />
you place your wealth).<br />
Q. How many grandchildren do<br />
you have? What are their names<br />
and ages? Where do they live?<br />
We have one granddaughter. Adelyn<br />
is 10 and she lives in Victoria.<br />
Q. What do you love most about<br />
being a grandparent? Least?<br />
Victor: I had to wait a while for it<br />
to happen. For a while I was the oldest<br />
new grandfather I knew. It was<br />
amazing when I finally got to hold my<br />
grandchild after she was born.<br />
<strong>Ed</strong>ith: I love interacting with Adelyn,<br />
watching her play with her new<br />
puppy, sewing, reading, making doll<br />
clothes, everything. She has a very<br />
broad vocabulary and chatting with<br />
her is an education.<br />
I grew up in a family with both<br />
parents and four siblings in a<br />
neighbourhood where I was within<br />
walking distance of my maternal<br />
grandparents and three families of<br />
aunts, uncles and cousins. We were<br />
in each other’s homes almost daily. I<br />
wish that we lived much closer. So to<br />
answer the second part of this question,<br />
the physical distance between us<br />
is what I love the least.<br />
6 Grand grandmag.ca
Q. How is being a grandparent<br />
different than being a parent?<br />
Victor: We don’t have the responsibility<br />
of taking care of her the way we<br />
did with our own kids.<br />
<strong>Ed</strong>ith: Being a grandmother is much<br />
more relaxing than being a mom.<br />
Q. What was important to you as<br />
a parent when you were raising<br />
your own children?<br />
Victor: That my kids were happy.<br />
That they were happy with their own<br />
accomplishments. That they treated<br />
people with respect.<br />
<strong>Ed</strong>ith: Raising my children was<br />
the most important job I have ever<br />
done. I chose to homeschool them so<br />
that every opportunity within my<br />
capabilities could be offered to them.<br />
I didn’t want them to experience racism<br />
which I, as a teacher, had seen in<br />
schools. I wanted them to learn in a<br />
traditional way as in learning through<br />
observation and inclusion. I wanted<br />
their learning to be as natural as<br />
learning to walk and talk. They indicated<br />
when they, in their own minds,<br />
needed to know something.<br />
Q. What is most important to you<br />
as a grandparent?<br />
Victor: That my grand-daughter<br />
grows up to be a loving person.<br />
<strong>Ed</strong>ith: It is important to me that<br />
Adelyn be happy within herself; confident,<br />
self-assured, able to laugh at<br />
herself, generous, kind, mischievous,<br />
respectful, well-rounded.<br />
Q. What part did your grandfathers<br />
play in your life? What did<br />
you learn from them?<br />
Victor: I never had the chance to<br />
meet my grandfathers. They passed<br />
before I was born. I don’t know when.<br />
I heard about them from my family<br />
a little bit and I got to read about my<br />
great-grandpa Charlie James in books.<br />
He was a carver and knowing that<br />
made me want to learn to carve too.<br />
Q. What part did your grandmothers<br />
play in your life? What<br />
did you learn from them?<br />
<strong>Ed</strong>ith: My maternal grandparents<br />
lived close by. I stopped in there almost<br />
every day to visit and help out<br />
with simple chores. I learned from<br />
them to be respectful of others and to<br />
be giving.<br />
Q. What do you hope your grandchildren<br />
learn from you?<br />
Victor: I don’t get to talk to her very<br />
much. She is her own person. She<br />
likes to play nearby but doesn’t really<br />
play with me. I tell her I love her and<br />
that’s important. I know that she really<br />
likes it that our house is right at<br />
the beach. I don’t know what she is<br />
learning from me.<br />
<strong>Ed</strong>ith: I don’t think I have any expectations<br />
for my granddaughter to learn<br />
from me. She will learn what is important<br />
for her at any given time. My job<br />
is to be as good a role model as I can.<br />
Q. How have you passed along<br />
traditions and skills, in particular,<br />
carving? Music? Stories?<br />
Family history?<br />
Victor: We homeschooled our kids.<br />
Having them home all the time meant<br />
they were able to learn by watching.<br />
This is important in Indigenous<br />
ways of learning. She used to come to<br />
drumming nights sometimes and she<br />
was really good at the dancing. Covid<br />
happened so we haven’t been able to<br />
do that for a while now.<br />
<strong>Ed</strong>ith: Our children learned basic<br />
skills such as sewing, cooking, cleaning,<br />
shopping for food. I encouraged<br />
them to be self-reliant and to know<br />
that their education would never be<br />
over. My job was to provide a home<br />
where there were always piles of<br />
library books; the radio tuned in<br />
to music or interesting talk shows;<br />
sports equipment, participation in<br />
sports teams; visitors from all over<br />
who brought a wide variety of ideas,<br />
grandmag.ca<br />
<strong>Vol</strong>. IV, <strong>Ed</strong>. <strong>II</strong> 7
enhancing stimulating conversations.<br />
Our children were encouraged<br />
to participate fully in all conversation.<br />
There were opportunities to<br />
travel both as a family and with youth<br />
groups; they were involved in the<br />
community through volunteer work.<br />
Kwakwala language, attendance and<br />
participation in feasts and potlatches,<br />
learning traditional ways of preserving<br />
and preparing foods, drumming<br />
and dance classes were a part of everyday<br />
life. The list is endless.<br />
Q. Carey has said: “My parents<br />
gave me a social conscience...”<br />
How?<br />
Victor: By being the way we are.<br />
Indigenous people are always having<br />
to raise awareness in others. We are<br />
always having to teach people about<br />
who we are because Hollywood got it<br />
wrong. We have always talked about<br />
stuff with our kids so they know why<br />
people are the way they are. Carey<br />
learned from that.<br />
<strong>Ed</strong>ith: We participated in walk-athons,<br />
fund raising concerts, peaceful<br />
demonstrations to bring social issues<br />
to the fore. We encouraged our children<br />
to speak up for those who may<br />
not be able to speak up for themselves.<br />
Q. Carey has said: “I’m careful to<br />
adhere to traditional rules and<br />
values. Finding ways to innovate<br />
without disregarding history is<br />
important to me.” How did you<br />
teach your children—and how do<br />
you teach your grandchildren—to<br />
respect traditional rules and values<br />
and to regard history?<br />
Victor: Carey was talking about the<br />
rules of traditional artwork when he<br />
said that. I am a very good teacher of<br />
art. I did that job for a long time. And<br />
my son has always been a talented artist.<br />
Q. How did you help your children—and<br />
how do you help your<br />
granddaughter—find their talents<br />
and strengths? To explore<br />
their creativity?<br />
<strong>Ed</strong>ith: Music was important in our<br />
lives. We had a piano and as soon as<br />
our children showed an interest, we<br />
enrolled them in lessons. The same<br />
was true for art as in designing and<br />
sewing clothing. Art supplies were<br />
available. I see similar opportunities<br />
being provided for Adelyn by her parents.<br />
8 Grand grandmag.ca
Q. As a survivor of residential<br />
schools, what do you feel when<br />
you see Carey telling the stories<br />
about what happened there,<br />
through works like the Witness<br />
Blanket?<br />
Victor: I am proud that he is trying<br />
to tell people what happened in the<br />
residential schools. And that he is<br />
making people understand why we<br />
can’t just get over it.<br />
Q. You and Carey share a special<br />
and close relationship. How have<br />
you arrived at the place you are<br />
in now, with such strong ties to<br />
each other and a good solid relationship?<br />
Victor: We were not always close.<br />
My wife encouraged us to get counselling<br />
together. I learned then that I was<br />
treating him the way I was treated in<br />
residential school by nuns and priests<br />
because that’s where I learned and<br />
grew up. We learned how to be good to<br />
each other then. I am proud of him.<br />
A legacy of<br />
compassion<br />
felt for<br />
generations<br />
to come…<br />
Contact us for simple ways to leave a charitable gift in your will or<br />
estate plan: victoriahospice.org/legacy or call 250-519-1743.<br />
1952 Bay Street | 4th Floor | Richmond Pavilion | Victoria BC | V8R 1J8<br />
Charitable Registration Number 11928 4230 RR0001<br />
Q. What do you wish for your<br />
grandchildren?<br />
Victor: I wish that she will be kind,<br />
happy, generous and productive.<br />
<strong>Ed</strong>ith: I wish for my granddaughter<br />
to be happy, have a good sense of humour,<br />
to be kind and generous.<br />
Q. Do you have any wise words<br />
or stories to share with other<br />
grandparents to help them in<br />
their role raising their grandchildren?<br />
Victor: No, I don’t! They should do it<br />
their own way. What they need to do<br />
to be close to their grandchildren. It<br />
is fun to watch some of the grandparents<br />
with their grandchildren when<br />
they get to be close. They just light<br />
right up.<br />
<strong>Ed</strong>ith: Advice to other grandparents.<br />
“Take every opportunity to spend time<br />
with your grandchildren. They grow<br />
up so quickly.”<br />
It’s time to get back at it properly and safely!<br />
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a lifelong passion for the beautiful game.<br />
Online registration available at gorgesoccer.ca<br />
Questions? info@gorgesoccer.ca<br />
We are following guidelines from the Provincial Health Office.<br />
A player will never be turned away due to lack of fees<br />
(external and internal grants available).<br />
grandmag.ca<br />
<strong>Vol</strong>. IV, <strong>Ed</strong>. <strong>II</strong> 9
Grandparenting<br />
From the Start: A Birth<br />
The call comes at 7 a.m. on a February<br />
morning, when my daughter<br />
Naomi knows that I’ll be up and<br />
getting ready for the day. She’s been<br />
in labour since the middle of the night<br />
and wants to know if I’d like to come<br />
over and keep her and her husband<br />
Matthew company.<br />
Of course I would! I’m self-employed<br />
and my schedule is flexible, so<br />
there’s no one to ask permission. I finish<br />
getting breakfast on the table for<br />
Naomi’s two much-younger siblings,<br />
then head over.<br />
I don’t even have to drive to be at my<br />
daughter’s side. She and her husband<br />
live in a suite on the neighbouring<br />
property; I let myself through her<br />
door less than a minute after leaving<br />
my own.<br />
“It’s happening,” my daughter<br />
says, catching her breath between<br />
contractions. She’s smiling and looking<br />
impressively calm for a first-time<br />
mother, her face glowing with sweat<br />
and anticipation.<br />
The midwife arrives shortly after I<br />
do, and I try to be unobtrusive as she<br />
makes her assessment. Naomi is far<br />
enough along that she’s ready to be admitted<br />
to the hospital—but the perinatal<br />
unit’s rooms are full, and she’s<br />
asked to continue her labour at home.<br />
And so, we hunker down: Naomi, her<br />
midwife, Matthew, and me.<br />
Between contractions, the atmosphere<br />
is cheerful. Everything is proceeding<br />
as it should, and the four of<br />
us are enjoying the shared experience<br />
of this unfolding miracle. I watch my<br />
daughter with admiration. Can it be<br />
26 years already since her own birth?<br />
She is a twin, born by caesarian at 35<br />
weeks. At an impossibly tiny 3½ lbs,<br />
Naomi was almost 2 lbs lighter than<br />
her sister—and yet from the very<br />
beginning she was tough. She has<br />
remained the most petite of my three<br />
adult children, and yet she has always<br />
gravitated towards physical labour. I<br />
am grateful for her strength now, as I<br />
watch her bend into each contraction.<br />
I am grateful for Matthew as well,<br />
his unwavering focus as he leans in<br />
beside his wife. They were friends<br />
long before their interest turned<br />
romantic. I knew him as a loud and<br />
impetuous adolescent; now he’s a man<br />
who knows when to be strong and<br />
when to be gentle. He is exactly the<br />
birthing partner Naomi needs.<br />
Suddenly the contractions accelerate.<br />
If Naomi doesn’t want to deliver<br />
at home—and she doesn’t—it’s time<br />
to get to the hospital. NOW. We drive<br />
the 20+ minute distance in separate<br />
10 Grand grandmag.ca
vehicles, and I panic when I can’t<br />
find a parking place. Please, I beg, as<br />
I circle and re-circle the lot. A space<br />
comes open and I seize it. Somehow in<br />
my less-than-focused state I manage<br />
to figure out the parking kiosk, then<br />
sprint to the maternity ward.<br />
My sense of urgency is well-founded;<br />
Naomi is in active labour when I<br />
get to her room. Things are moving<br />
more quickly than even her midwife<br />
anticipated, and it’s only a few minutes<br />
before she’s on the bed, pushing.<br />
She tells me later that she knew I had<br />
arrived only because she saw my boots<br />
on the floor. Her world has shrunk to<br />
the point that she can’t hear my voice<br />
or take in the rest of me.<br />
And then, less than 20 minutes after<br />
her arrival at the hospital, Naomi’s<br />
baby is crowning. I hold my breath as<br />
a head emerges, then the unfolding<br />
body of a little girl. There’s a flurry of<br />
activity at the foot of the bed, but my<br />
tiny granddaughter remains purple<br />
and still. My prayer in the parking<br />
It’s been three years since Rhea was born, and as I write this my daughter and<br />
son-in-law are preparing to welcome their second child in a matter of weeks. If<br />
all goes as planned it will be a homebirth this time, and I will be at my daughter’s<br />
side again. I’ll have to travel a little farther to get there, however; Naomi<br />
and Matt have become homeowners in the intervening years and have moved to<br />
a new neighbourhood. But we’re still in the same community, and for that I am<br />
immensely grateful.<br />
For Rhea<br />
2 am is the time you choose<br />
to begin your birth<br />
to end nine months of<br />
hoping, praying<br />
retching, craving<br />
sleeping, dreaming<br />
waking, waiting –<br />
for your mother.<br />
Your mother, who I held in the crook<br />
of my arm<br />
not so long ago<br />
my smallest child<br />
my toughest child<br />
now woman-grown<br />
bent over, breathing.<br />
lot was nothing compared to the plea<br />
I send to Heaven now. I have no idea<br />
how long we wait, but I swear the<br />
whole world is holding its breath with<br />
me. Until—finally—little Rhea wriggles<br />
and cries. I cry, too.<br />
Rachel Dunstan Muller is a children’s<br />
author, storyteller, podcaster and grandmother.<br />
You can find her two podcasts<br />
Hintertales: Stories from the Margins<br />
of History and Sticks and Stones and<br />
Stories through her website at racheldunstanmuller.com,<br />
or wherever you<br />
normally get your podcasts.<br />
Your father stands, gentle-eyed<br />
hands on her back.<br />
The midwife works with quiet<br />
efficiency<br />
while I watch, grateful witness.<br />
You arrive, purple and still.<br />
Time catches, until<br />
your cry<br />
a small cry, but enough<br />
to reset the world spinning.<br />
Snow falls outside the window<br />
Winter’s benediction<br />
but you, tiny child, are Spring.<br />
Healthy Families, Happy Families<br />
Child, Youth<br />
& Family<br />
Public Health<br />
South Island Health Units<br />
Esquimalt 250-519-5311<br />
Gulf Islands 250-539-3099<br />
(toll-free number for office in Saanichton)<br />
Peninsula 250-544-2400<br />
Saanich 250-519-5100<br />
Saltspring Island 250-538-4880<br />
Sooke 250-519-3487<br />
Victoria 250-388-2200<br />
West Shore 250-519-3490<br />
Central Island Health Units<br />
Duncan 250-709-3050<br />
Ladysmith 250-755-3342<br />
Lake Cowichan 250-749-6878<br />
Nanaimo 250-755-3342<br />
Nanaimo 250-739-5845<br />
Princess Royal<br />
Parksville/Qualicum 250-947-8242<br />
Port Alberni 250-731-1315<br />
Tofino 250-725-4020<br />
North Island Health Units<br />
Campbell River 250-850-2110<br />
Courtenay 250-331-8520<br />
Kyuquot Health Ctr 250-332-5289<br />
‘Namgis Health Ctr 250-974-5522<br />
Port Hardy 250-902-6071<br />
islandhealth.ca/our-locations/<br />
health-unit-locations<br />
Changes with BC Medical Services Plan<br />
premiums mean that families eligible for partial<br />
payment of some medical services and access<br />
to some income-based programs now must<br />
apply for Supplementary Benefits through the<br />
Government of BC. Applications can be done<br />
online and take approximately 15 minutes.<br />
Families who previously qualified for MSP<br />
Premium Assistance should not need to re-apply<br />
if taxes are completed yearly. It is advised to<br />
confirm coverage before proceeding with<br />
treatment to avoid paying out of pocket.<br />
For more information, visit gov.bc.ca/gov/<br />
content/health/health-drug-coverage/msp/<br />
bc-residents/benefits/services-covered-bymsp/supplementary-benefits<br />
grandmag.ca<br />
<strong>Vol</strong>. IV, <strong>Ed</strong>. <strong>II</strong> 11
Health &<br />
Wellness<br />
Move Well & Age Gracefully<br />
Exercise keeps us physically fit so<br />
that we can go about our daily<br />
life with more ease. Its effects go<br />
way beyond the surface; they extend to<br />
other areas of the body as well.<br />
Exercise helps to:<br />
• Build a stronger immune system.<br />
Aerobic/endurance exercises such as<br />
brisk walking and dancing improve the<br />
health of your heart, lungs, and circulatory<br />
system, helping your body to<br />
overcome infections and viruses more<br />
easily plus lessen recovery time from<br />
illness and injury.<br />
• Create stronger bones for better<br />
balance. Strength training exercises<br />
like lifting weights and using resistance<br />
bands can increase muscle<br />
strength to help combat the loss of<br />
bone density. Balance training helps<br />
to activate deep stabilizing muscles<br />
so that they become more resilient to<br />
stress and are able to absorb weight<br />
and impact better.<br />
• Reduce the risk of degenerative<br />
diseases such as dementia, Alzheimers<br />
and Parkinson’s. Exercise keeps the<br />
mind’s cognitive functions active and<br />
strengthens motor skills.<br />
The idea of working out can feel<br />
overwhelming, but don’t sweat—yet!—<br />
every little bit helps:<br />
• Physical activity can be social time.<br />
Get your family or friends to be active<br />
with you and when available look for<br />
group activities or classes in your community.<br />
• Start slowly and listen to your<br />
body. Don’t push yourself to the point<br />
of pain or unnecessary strain. Learn to<br />
work with your body and find an activity<br />
you like.<br />
• Minutes count. Plan to increase<br />
your level of activity 10 minutes at a<br />
time: walk wherever and whenever<br />
you can, carry your groceries home or<br />
take the stairs instead of the elevator<br />
Practice mindful movement when<br />
you exercise to improve your potential<br />
for moving well as you age. Consider<br />
The Squat, a simple exercise that most<br />
of us know and in fact practice every<br />
day when we move from sit to stand<br />
or stand to sit. A squat builds strength<br />
in the hips and legs, which propel us<br />
through our day and also work to get<br />
us up and down off the toilet. You can<br />
incorporate mindful movement principles<br />
by:<br />
1. Using proper technique. Sounds<br />
12 Grand grandmag.ca
oring but proper technique allows<br />
you to perform an exercise without<br />
causing pain or strain. While a certified<br />
trainer can help, you can also watch<br />
yourself in the mirror. For example,<br />
when performing a squat, as you bend<br />
your knees watch that you sit the hips<br />
back, like you’re taking a seat back on<br />
the toilet, and watch that your toes and<br />
knees point in the same direction.<br />
2. Activating your core muscles, a<br />
group of four muscles that include the<br />
diaphragm, deep abdominal, deep spinal<br />
and pelvic floor. Try using the Core<br />
Breath, a specific way of breathing that<br />
incorporates your core muscles. When<br />
performing the squat, breathe in as you<br />
bend your knees, sit back and envision<br />
the two sitting bones spreading, allow<br />
the ribs to expand and breathe out<br />
as you stand up envision the 2 sitting<br />
bones and deep abdominals gathering.<br />
3. Include a balance challenge. Try<br />
standing on one leg and avoid breath<br />
holding. Many people find that focussing<br />
on a point in the near distance will<br />
help but once you master this move<br />
then try to balance and allow your eye<br />
gaze to expand into the periphery.<br />
When performing a squat you can<br />
practice lifting one leg up as you stand<br />
up or try placing one foot (or both) on<br />
something unstable like a mini-exercise<br />
ball or balance trainer.<br />
Physical activity plays an important<br />
role in maintaining your health,<br />
well-being and quality of life. If you<br />
are unsure about types and amount of<br />
physical activity consult a health professional<br />
to find out what’s appropriate<br />
for you.<br />
Leslie Hopkins is a Certified<br />
Core Exercise Specialist<br />
with a unique perspective<br />
into the field of women’s<br />
pelvic health. She is a<br />
movement educator,<br />
speaker and creator of<br />
online programs including<br />
Laugh Without Leaking.<br />
flexibility<br />
for<br />
different<br />
learning<br />
styles<br />
optional<br />
hands-on<br />
learning<br />
activities<br />
support<br />
from a<br />
certified<br />
teacher<br />
gentle and<br />
constructive<br />
feedback<br />
grandmag.ca<br />
<strong>Vol</strong>. IV, <strong>Ed</strong>. <strong>II</strong> 13
Grandparenting<br />
Pandemic Grandparent<br />
If you asked me to rate my Pandemic<br />
Year, I’d give it about 6 out of 10 on<br />
the suck-o-meter. Over the year, I<br />
watched my career go down quicker<br />
than a toddler’s toy in the toilet. And I<br />
discovered new soul-sucking anxiety<br />
that sabotaged any get-up-and-go that<br />
might’ve rescued said career.<br />
I didn’t take up any hobbies—unless<br />
you consider carb loading and emptying<br />
wine bottles a hobby—so I jealously<br />
watched as Facebook “friends” baked<br />
bread, learned knitting, and discovered<br />
gardening. I didn’t even clean out my<br />
closets.<br />
My big accomplishment: becoming a<br />
grandmother.<br />
I know it doesn’t take much effort<br />
on my end, but I’ll take all the compliments<br />
and congratulations I can get. My<br />
granddaughter is really darn cute and I<br />
feel my genes had something to do with<br />
that.<br />
Obviously, becoming a new grandmother<br />
in a pandemic requires a few<br />
modifications from normal grandparenting.<br />
When my granddaughter was born<br />
in September 2020, I had to forgo my<br />
hope of attending her birth as there was<br />
a limit to the number of people who<br />
could be there. My daughter and her<br />
husband chose a home birth, which is<br />
scary enough for a grandmother-to-be,<br />
but add to that my extreme anxiety,<br />
and, well, let’s say I was smart enough<br />
to keep my mouth shut. My mother attended<br />
my first birth and literally had<br />
a panic attack, so, in hindsight, I probably<br />
was the most helpful as a distanced<br />
cheering squad.<br />
The next few months, my visits with<br />
my granddaughter and daughter were<br />
through a window. Being a new mom<br />
is hard, but I can’t imagine how hard it<br />
would be through a pandemic. No family<br />
help, no friends, isolation and no<br />
baby showers. They did have an online<br />
baby group—with all mics on for the<br />
sing-alongs!<br />
The new mama was tired. I hated that<br />
I couldn’t do the grandma thing where<br />
you bring over a casserole and hold the<br />
baby while mama has a shower. Not being<br />
able to help my daughter was what<br />
stung the most.<br />
My daughter wanted to be a mom<br />
since age 10, is a trained doula, and is<br />
regarded as a “baby whisperer.” I look<br />
back at the anxious new mom I was—<br />
my first time holding a baby was my<br />
first born and maternity leave was three<br />
months—and I am blown away that<br />
birth and infants can be such a different<br />
experience than mine was almost 30<br />
years ago.<br />
14 Grand grandmag.ca
One thing I’ve learned from becoming<br />
a grandparent during the pandemic is<br />
that my ideas about parenting a newborn<br />
are outdated. My daughter has this<br />
dialed in, and the best thing I can do is<br />
be open and willing to learn all about<br />
the new techniques.<br />
Technology and social media became<br />
very important in our family connection.<br />
Without being able to visit in<br />
person, my daughter made a huge effort<br />
to connect daily. I’m grateful for all the<br />
Facetime visits, Instagram messages and<br />
regular video chats a bunch of times<br />
each day so we could virtually hang<br />
out. As my granddaughter gets older, I<br />
am able to interact and sing songs (she<br />
thinks I’m an awesome singer!).<br />
So there’s a silver lining: If I was still<br />
grinding away at my career, I wouldn’t<br />
have had the time to connect virtually.<br />
The pandemic gave me perspective that<br />
my career isn’t as important as being a<br />
mom, a grandmother and a friend.<br />
I always thought that by the time I<br />
reached this age, I’d be totally put together.<br />
Being a grandma in a pandemic<br />
forced me to understand that I’m still<br />
very much a work in progress.<br />
I also need to figure out how much<br />
purple a grandmother should wear and<br />
how much is too much. It is a line I’ll<br />
probably cross several times in the near<br />
future.<br />
And yes, I was recently able to hold<br />
my granddaughter without a mask. It<br />
took eight months and was the most<br />
magical day.<br />
April Butler is the mother of three (one<br />
teenager and two grown) children and the<br />
new grandmother of one. She was working<br />
as a documentary filmmaker and if her<br />
career doesn’t reboot after the Pandemic,<br />
she will just spend more time sailing.<br />
grandmag.ca<br />
June<br />
Age 5, Cerebral Palsy<br />
Loves kindergarten, art, and swimming<br />
As a happy five-year-old,<br />
June’s complex health<br />
challenges don’t hold<br />
her back from doing the<br />
things she loves. And<br />
when her family needs to<br />
travel from their home in<br />
Denman Island to Victoria<br />
for June’s medical<br />
treatments, Children’s<br />
Health Foundation of<br />
Vancouver Island’s home<br />
away from home,<br />
Jeneece Place, is there.<br />
Children’s Health Foundation of Vancouver Island has invested<br />
in the health of Island kids for 95 years. We touch the lives of<br />
more than 16,000 Island kids and youth each year through our<br />
homes away from home in Victoria (Jeneece Place) and<br />
Campbell River (Q̓ ʷalayu House); our Bear Essentials program,<br />
which provides direct funding to families who need financial<br />
support to meet the immediate care needs of their child; and<br />
by investing in essential community-based services,<br />
interventions, therapies, and resources that optimize the health<br />
of our children and youth.<br />
Island kids, like June, need you.<br />
Donate now at islandkidsfirst.com<br />
<strong>Vol</strong>. IV, <strong>Ed</strong>. <strong>II</strong> 15
Media &<br />
Technology<br />
Shutterbug<br />
Jacqui Graham has six grown kids and<br />
eight delightful grandkids age 4 to 15<br />
years. If she had known how much fun<br />
grandkids would be, she would have<br />
had them first!<br />
On a recent sunny June afternoon<br />
I accompanied my daughter<br />
and her family to a local swimming<br />
hole on the Puntledge River.<br />
The weather had attracted quite a few<br />
families to the beach. Relaxing in a<br />
folding chair beside my 15-year-old<br />
granddaughter, amicably passing a<br />
potato chip bag back and forth as we<br />
watched children and their parents<br />
splashing in the river, I could not<br />
shake the feeling that something was<br />
missing.<br />
Then I remembered.<br />
“It’s the strangest thing,” I said to<br />
my granddaughter. “I seem to have left<br />
my cell phone at home.”<br />
“Good,” she said. “Now you can’t<br />
take any pictures. You’ll just have to<br />
sit here and enjoy life.”<br />
My grandkids are resigned to their<br />
shutterbug grandma. Visits to my<br />
home are punctuated by the command<br />
to look up and smile. Whenever we<br />
head out on a walk, my trusty iPhone<br />
XS nestles in the back pocket of my<br />
jeans, ready to be whipped out the moment<br />
the grandkids do anything cute,<br />
or interesting, or annoying. Walks<br />
may be interrupted at any moment<br />
by the cry of the matriarch: “You kids<br />
keep walking, I’ll catch up with you!<br />
I just have to take a picture of the<br />
river…. this wildflower… an interesting<br />
bug… that perfect cloud… a rock<br />
shaped exactly like a heart…” Recently<br />
the grandkids decided to hold an<br />
intervention. I am now restricted to<br />
three photos per walk.<br />
I blame my mother for my obsession<br />
with capturing life on film. On<br />
my ninth birthday she presented me<br />
with her beloved Brownie box camera.<br />
It was—literally—a box with a lens on<br />
the front and a postage-stamp-sized<br />
viewfinder on the top. The shutter<br />
was a tiny lever that stuck out from<br />
the lower right side of the box. You<br />
braced the box against your chest,<br />
peered down into the minuscule viewfinder,<br />
and ordered your subject to<br />
hold verrry still. The challenge was<br />
to depress the shutter without tilting<br />
the camera. I found this nearly impossible<br />
to accomplish, with the result<br />
that my photos were always slightly<br />
askew. Undaunted, I took pictures of<br />
anything that would hold still long<br />
enough, restricted only by the number<br />
of rolls of film my tiny allowance<br />
would afford. I was hooked. A shutterbug<br />
was born.<br />
In my teen years I acquired a slightly<br />
more sophisticated camera and<br />
branched out into artsy shots of chain<br />
link fences, water droplets on leaves,<br />
deliberately unfocused photos of<br />
friends, and the occasional unplanned<br />
closeup of my exuberant poodle’s<br />
nose.<br />
As the years flew by, my repertoire<br />
expanded to include a husband.<br />
Various dogs. Scenery, at home and<br />
abroad. And then, in November 1979,<br />
an event occurred that ushered me<br />
into a new photographic era: the birth<br />
of our first child.<br />
As wee Sarah grew from wrinkled<br />
newborn to chubby-cheeked toddler,<br />
every infinitesimal milestone was obsessively<br />
chronicled: first smile, first<br />
tooth, first step, first birthday, first<br />
Christmas, first taste of applesauce.<br />
And random cuteness. (Soooo much<br />
random cuteness!) Sarah “reading”<br />
a book. Sarah cuddling her favourite<br />
doll. Sarah playing with the dogs. Sarah<br />
in the bathtub/in her snowsuit/on<br />
a playground swing. Our bookshelves<br />
began to fill up with photo albums.<br />
16 Grand grandmag.ca
As our family expanded to include<br />
five additional children, the bookshelves<br />
groaned under the weight of<br />
more and more albums. Birthdays.<br />
School events. Camping trips. Sunday<br />
school pageants. Christmas mornings.<br />
Sports. Easter egg hunts. Vacations at<br />
home and abroad. Random cuteness.<br />
(Soooo much random cuteness.)<br />
There are 25 photo albums. The last<br />
one is dated 2005. Digital photography<br />
had, and subsequent photos were<br />
entombed in the memory chips of our<br />
digital devices, displayed, perhaps, on<br />
computer screensaver slideshows, or<br />
shared on social media, or called up<br />
on one’s cell phone to impress strangers<br />
in cash register lineups (“Oh, that<br />
photo of your niece’s baby is adorable!<br />
Now, let me show you the cutest picture<br />
of my youngest grandchild in a<br />
kitty costume… wait…I know it’s here<br />
somewhere…”)<br />
The advent of digital photography<br />
has also freed us from the constraints of<br />
film. No longer do we need to ration our<br />
picture-taking! As I write this, I blush<br />
to admit that there are 31,029 photos<br />
and 2,001 videos on my iPhone XS.<br />
I recently had occasion to hunt<br />
through the old albums, while tracking<br />
down a photo of an adult son’s<br />
seventh birthday party to share in our<br />
family’s Signal group. When I located<br />
the photos of the event, I was struck<br />
by the fact that there were only three<br />
of them. Not eight, or 12, or 27. Just<br />
three. At such an event nowadays I<br />
would take at least a dozen photos and<br />
a handful of videos as well.<br />
It makes me wonder: what is this<br />
compulsion to capture every moment<br />
of our children’s and grandchildren’s<br />
lives? When we look back on<br />
that birthday party years from now,<br />
will twenty-seven photos of a child<br />
blowing out candles really serve our<br />
memory better than three? And in the<br />
process of taking those twenty-seven<br />
photos, are we actually missing the<br />
very moment we are trying so desperately<br />
to capture?<br />
I would love to continue pondering<br />
this philosophical question with you,<br />
but I must run. My cat is doing the<br />
cutest thing. Now, where did I put that<br />
cell phone?<br />
FAMILY CAREGIVERS OF BC<br />
w w w . f a m i l y c a r e g i v e r s b c . c a<br />
Are you a family caregiver living in<br />
Greater Victoria? Join our community for<br />
our FREE monthly Victoria Virtual<br />
Caregiver Support Group, which brings<br />
people together around a mutual<br />
experience of caregiving for a family<br />
member or friend. The support group is a<br />
time for connection and reassurance. You<br />
are not alone.<br />
Sign up for our next meeting at<br />
www.familycaregiversbc.ca/family-caregiver-support-groups/<br />
grandmag.ca<br />
<strong>Vol</strong>. IV, <strong>Ed</strong>. <strong>II</strong> 17
Road Trip<br />
Yesterday’s Stories<br />
Shaping Tomorrow’s Future<br />
Children look up to their grandparents<br />
as guiding figures and<br />
the keepers of stories. A trip to<br />
Fort Rodd Hill and Fisgard Lighthouse<br />
National Historic Sites is the perfect<br />
setting to combine sharing special moments<br />
and awakening even the youngest<br />
of inquisitive minds.<br />
Beyond every door and down every<br />
path, exhibits reveal stories of changing<br />
times. See how young female nurses<br />
and factory workers contributed to<br />
the war effort during WW<strong>II</strong>, and the<br />
special skills they needed to transmit<br />
top-secret encoded messages. Learn<br />
about the evolution of engineering<br />
and technology, and how strategically<br />
placed disappearing guns and<br />
functioning lighthouses worked. As<br />
you explore, conversations with Parks<br />
Canada staff add depth to every story.<br />
Let young imaginations run wild:<br />
• Are they fond of nature and little<br />
creatures? Surrounded by the natural<br />
beauty of Canada’s west coast, the<br />
Garry Oak ecosystem thrives here in<br />
the Learning Meadow, where getting<br />
up close with native plants and pollinators<br />
prompts important discussions<br />
about conservation.<br />
• Are they eager to hear secrets?<br />
The site’s self-guided audio tour<br />
brings to life stories told by a seasoned<br />
soldier, a young Victorian woman,<br />
a few residents of the fort and the<br />
lighthouse, and even an American spy.<br />
The voices of these storytellers may<br />
inspire future actions or career aspirations.<br />
• Are they studious and want to<br />
record findings? The Xplorers booklet<br />
was created especially for these inquisitive<br />
minds. With a pencil in hand,<br />
they will draw, search for answers<br />
and collect facts. They may choose to<br />
save this completed book for their collection<br />
of Xplorers booklets acquired<br />
while visiting other Parks Canada<br />
places.<br />
• Are they fascinated with dress-up<br />
and role-play? During summer programs,<br />
Parks Canada interpreters may<br />
recruit them to help with lighthouse<br />
chores or show them the 1800s latest<br />
fashion and games. They might develop<br />
a new appreciation for current<br />
commodities or decide to set new “oldfashioned”<br />
trends.<br />
• Are they excited about sleepovers?<br />
The oTENTiks offer a unique blend of<br />
homey comfort with a taste of outdoor<br />
adventure. Staying overnight in a real<br />
fort and enjoying the freedom to wander,<br />
once all the regular visitors have<br />
gone home, is truly a special treat: a<br />
memory they might even pass along to<br />
their own grandchildren.<br />
When children experience a place<br />
where history is alive, their curiosity<br />
can flourish and they can develop<br />
new perspectives and skills for their<br />
future.<br />
Admission for youth 17 and under<br />
is free. Seniors cost $6.60 and senior<br />
annual passes are $16.97. And don’t<br />
forget, all Parks Canada places—in<br />
person and online—can be experienced<br />
in both English and French.<br />
For the summer program schedule<br />
and activity ideas, visit pc.gc.ca/<br />
en/lhn-nhs/bc/fortroddhill/<br />
activ/activ5.<br />
18 Grand grandmag.ca
Branded Content<br />
Independent, All-inclusive Living<br />
Shannon Oaks is independent, all-inclusive living. It<br />
is a wonderful way for you to enjoy an all-inclusive<br />
lifestyle filled with social engagements, nutritious meals,<br />
daily exercise and new friendships. You would be surrounded<br />
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community. Some describe it as living on a cruise<br />
ship on land.<br />
Your own private suite can range from 500-800 square<br />
feet and it features large windows, a full bathroom, kitchenette<br />
and utilities. Every meal is an occasion prepared<br />
by professional chefs and personally served by our dining<br />
staff. Fresh baked goods, fruit and beverages are available<br />
throughout the day. Shannon Oaks offers you an array<br />
of daily activities including fitness classes, crafting,<br />
painting, card games, discussion groups and field trips.<br />
Bus trips are scheduled multiple times a week to include<br />
malls, libraries, concerts and more. There is also a hair salon<br />
and esthetician available for all of your beauty needs.<br />
Other amenities include a gym with equipment specialized<br />
for seniors and a spacious entertainment room that<br />
hosts weekly movie nights, dances, socials and a variety<br />
of local entertainers. You can pick and choose what you<br />
like. Take part in everything or just sit back and relax and<br />
enjoy the 24/7 customer service. Cleaning….no more. For<br />
your convenience and peace of mind we provide weekly<br />
housekeeping, linen service and 24-hour emergency<br />
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Step into a beautiful courtyard with a bubbling fountain<br />
and landscaped gardens to relax in. There really is<br />
something for everyone. Living at Shannon Oaks you will<br />
feel like you are part of one big family.<br />
grandmag.ca<br />
<strong>Vol</strong>. IV, <strong>Ed</strong>. <strong>II</strong> 19
Grandparenting<br />
Grandfathered<br />
Excerpt from Grandfathered: Dispatches<br />
from the Trenches of Modern<br />
Grandparenthood by Ian Haysom (Heritage<br />
House Publishing). heritagehouse.<br />
ca/book/grandfathered.<br />
Ian Haysom has been a reporter,<br />
writer, film critic, correspondent, editor<br />
and columnist. He was editor-in-chief<br />
at Vancouver Province and Vancouver<br />
Sun as well as news director for BCTV,<br />
Global and CHEK. He lives with his wife,<br />
Beth, near Victoria, where he writes<br />
and works as a news consultant.<br />
Over one summer, for three and<br />
sometimes four days a week, I<br />
looked after my then three-anda-half-year-old<br />
granddaughter Mayana—pronounced<br />
My-Anna—while<br />
her mom was doing a yoga teacher’s<br />
course.<br />
Mayana calls me “grandad.” She<br />
used to call me “grangrad,” which I<br />
found kind of cool, but I guess somewhere<br />
along the line I graduated to<br />
full-blown grandfather.<br />
During my summer with Mayana, I<br />
was going to teach her a lot of things.<br />
How to ride a bike.<br />
How to sing Yellow Submarine.<br />
How to say “please” and “thank you”<br />
and all that stuff we grownups find<br />
kind of important.<br />
How to write her name.<br />
How to have fun.<br />
Instead, I think I learned more than<br />
her than she learned from me.<br />
Mostly, how to slow down.<br />
And not only smell the roses—but<br />
count them. And count them again.<br />
And again. And again.<br />
How many red ones. And blue ones?<br />
And white ones? And do we prefer the<br />
white ones, or are the red ones prettier?<br />
I also learned, for instance, that<br />
washing your car can be a far more<br />
memorable experience if you let your<br />
three-and-a-half-year-old granddaughter<br />
hold the hose. The car didn’t<br />
get very wet, but we did.<br />
That summer had been a pivotal<br />
and somewhat emotional time for me.<br />
After more than 45 years working as<br />
a journalist, I was leaving the daily<br />
grind of journalism. And heading to<br />
the dreaded r-word: retirement.<br />
Some guys yearn for retirement. I<br />
had mixed feelings. Retirement meant<br />
all the clichés to me—a lack of purpose,<br />
doddering into a life of seniors’<br />
specials and matinee movies, a world<br />
of baggy cardigans and pinochle or<br />
euchre, whatever they are. Someone<br />
told me I was old enough now to play<br />
pickleball, a kind of tennis for old<br />
people. I could still play tennis. Could<br />
still serve the occasional ace, and here<br />
I was already consigned to the shuffleboard<br />
of life.<br />
I’m not sure how the idea of me<br />
looking after Mayana came up. I might<br />
have volunteered. Or, more likely,<br />
someone volunteered me. Amy, my<br />
eldest daughter and a single mother,<br />
said she had this intense yoga course<br />
to attend for the summer, and it would<br />
be tricky to have Mayana cared for.<br />
And suddenly, it became patently<br />
obvious that everyone else was busy,<br />
and I had nothing useful to do.<br />
…<br />
It started with a slow walk. The first<br />
day of the summer that I looked after<br />
Mayana began with what I expected<br />
would be a quick stroll to a small playground.<br />
It would normally take me<br />
five minutes at most to walk there.<br />
This day it took us almost an hour.<br />
We stopped to look at flowers. Then<br />
bees. Then butterflies. Then we blew<br />
dandelions. We picked buttercups.<br />
And looked at horses in a field. Then<br />
we patted a dog. And talked to the<br />
owner. And then we talked to the dog.<br />
Mayana, on this first day of the rest<br />
of my life, taught me on our first full<br />
morning together to slow down. Not<br />
just slow down. But also come to a full<br />
stop. And sometimes, go backwards.<br />
Until that week I had been running<br />
a turbulent, crazy TV newsroom in<br />
Vancouver. My life was organized<br />
chaos, particularly on days of big<br />
20 Grand grandmag.ca
eaking news, when nobody had time<br />
to blink, let alone think.<br />
One of my last jobs was to oversee<br />
our coverage of an election. I’d commissioned<br />
polling, argued with party<br />
officials about the format of the TV debates,<br />
pushed for us to get to the heart<br />
of the issues, gone through graphics<br />
and results systems and online coverage—and<br />
now here I was staring at a<br />
crack in the road.<br />
“Why is the road broken?”<br />
“It’s not broken, it’s just cracked a<br />
bit.”<br />
“Will we fall in?”<br />
“Well, no, it’s just a small crack.”<br />
“Will it get bigger and bigger and<br />
then we’ll fall in?”<br />
“I don’t think so.”<br />
Stopping to smell the roses was out<br />
of the question. Today, I wasn’t only<br />
smelling them—in the neighbours’<br />
front yards—I was also counting<br />
them, testing Mayana on the various<br />
colours (her favourite is purple) and<br />
spotting as many bees as we could.<br />
“They won’t hurt us, grandad. The<br />
bees are friendly if you don’t hurt<br />
them.” She’d learned that much. Do<br />
you know why they’re buzzing around<br />
the flowers? I asked her. She didn’t,<br />
and frankly, I didn’t know much more<br />
since I was never a gardener nor paid<br />
much attention in biology classes, but<br />
I kind of stumbled through a hazy<br />
description of what bees do with pollen<br />
and how they make honey and<br />
also that, in this particular society, the<br />
Queen Bee rules. Kind of like at our<br />
house, I said.<br />
You’d have thought running newsrooms—newspaper<br />
and broadcast—<br />
would have been perfect training for<br />
looking after a grandchild. I always<br />
likened my job to that of a kindergarten<br />
teacher. There were certainly<br />
tantrums and tears. And bruised egos<br />
rather than bruised knees.<br />
I joked, when I was in the news<br />
world, that I learned more from Robert<br />
Fulghum than all the management<br />
courses I went on over the years.<br />
Fulghum wrote the delightful book<br />
All I Really Know I Learned from Kindergarten.<br />
Fulghum, the essayist and<br />
former Unitarian minister, had a huge<br />
bestseller in the 1980s. It should be<br />
republished for a new generation.<br />
Some of the advice?<br />
Share everything.<br />
Don’t hit people.<br />
Live a balanced life.<br />
Learn some and think some<br />
Hold hands and stick together.<br />
Be aware of wonder.<br />
“Grandad, what’s that pink flower<br />
called?”<br />
I had absolutely no idea.<br />
“A geranium,” I said. “Or a chrysanthemum,<br />
maybe?”<br />
“A chriscinnamon?”<br />
“Something like that. Or maybe a<br />
daisy.”<br />
We counted more than 50 butterflies<br />
on our walk, most of them white,<br />
a couple of them more colourful. We<br />
watched them land on the flowers<br />
and then flutter off in search of more<br />
adventure. I honestly hadn’t realized<br />
there were so many butterflies in<br />
our street. I guess I had failed to look<br />
properly. My head was usually full of<br />
other stuff.<br />
Mayana decided she’d prefer to be a<br />
butterfly than a bee. She didn’t want<br />
people to be scared of her. “Everyone<br />
loves butterflies. And they can fly so<br />
high. Look, grandad, that one’s higher<br />
than that big tree.”<br />
Then she held my hand. “What do<br />
you want to be, Grandad?”<br />
It was a good question. Until that<br />
moment I’d been somewhat confused<br />
about who I was after leaving the<br />
newsroom. It defined me. I loved being<br />
in the middle of all the noise, in the<br />
middle of a vital, relevant world, and I<br />
was trying to come to terms with what<br />
and who I now was. I never really<br />
wanted to be “retired” and snapped at<br />
anyone who even suggested I was now<br />
in retirement.<br />
But right then, right at that very<br />
moment, while the world slowed to a<br />
perfect stop, while my granddaughter<br />
clung onto my hand and looked up at<br />
me with large, brown innocent eyes,<br />
I knew one of the things that I what I<br />
wanted to be.<br />
A grandfather might be a cool thing<br />
after all.<br />
Photo: PictureWest Photography<br />
grandmag.ca<br />
<strong>Vol</strong>. IV, <strong>Ed</strong>. <strong>II</strong> 21
Cooking with<br />
Grandkids<br />
Cooling Down with Frosty Treats<br />
With summer’s heat comes the joy of going to the beach, building sand<br />
castles and swimming. Or staying cool by running through a sprinkler.<br />
Frozen treats are another great way to cool down. They are also<br />
fun and easy to make at home!<br />
Homemade frozen treats are far better than those that are store-bought.<br />
• They contain less sugar, artificial flavours and food colouring. And it’s easy<br />
to make them completely sugar-free by using 100% fruit juice.<br />
• Homemade treats are zero-waste and affordable.<br />
• You don’t have to have a popsicle maker or an ice cream machine. Though<br />
both of those are helpful, there are other options for making homemade frozen<br />
treats.<br />
Best of all, homemade frozen treats are a fun and flavourful way to connect<br />
with your grandchildren!<br />
Here are three basic recipes to get you started. Feel free to mix and match<br />
ingredients to create your own favourite blend.<br />
1. Add edible flowers and mint leaves to popsicles. The results are beautiful.<br />
Perfect for your little gnomes and fairies.<br />
2. Whole raspberries, strawberries and cherries make a fun addition to popsicles<br />
or ice cream. I recommend avoiding blueberries which freeze solid and<br />
aren’t as enjoyable.<br />
3. Kids love mixing liquids. Give them a few different drinks and let them<br />
mix their own concoctions. Try brewed herbal teas, 100% fruit juice, yogurt<br />
or cream. Which combinations freeze the hardest? Which ones have the best<br />
flavour?<br />
Fruit Juicesicles<br />
The easiest homemade frozen treat is a fruit<br />
juice popsicle. If you don’t own a popsicle maker,<br />
then just use an ice cube tray. A cup full of<br />
flavourful ice cubes is pretty fun and perfect<br />
for taste-testing different combinations.<br />
A few piece of whole fruits (strawberries, cherries,<br />
raspberries)<br />
100% Fruit juice or fruit and vegetable juice blend<br />
1. Wash and chop the fruit into small, bitesized<br />
pieces. Place a few pieces in each popsicle<br />
container.<br />
2. Pour in the juice and freeze for at least<br />
3 hours.<br />
Smoothie Creamsicles<br />
Whenever we make smoothies for a snack, we always make a double-batch and freeze the extras<br />
as creamsicles. Again, if you don’t have a popsicle maker, just use an ice cube tray.<br />
The best part about homemade creamsicles is that we get to add whatever we want to the<br />
smoothie. For a boost of protein add 2 tbsp of peanut butter. Adding 1 tbsp of cocoa powder will<br />
result in a chocolatey treat. You favourite smoothie is equally enjoyable as a creamsicle. Blueberry<br />
banana creamsicles are one of our favourites.<br />
1 banana<br />
1 cup of blueberries<br />
1 cup of yogurt<br />
1 tsp vanilla extract<br />
1. Place all of the ingredients in a blender. Pulse until everything is well-blended and smooth.<br />
2. Pour into the popsicle maker and freeze for 3 hours, until frozen solid.<br />
22 Grand grandmag.ca
Honey Vanilla<br />
Frozen Yogurt<br />
This frozen yogurt recipe includes a mix of<br />
whipping cream and yogurt, because straight<br />
frozen yogurt is incredibly icy. Sweetening it<br />
with honey not only avoids refined sugars, it<br />
also keeps this treat creamy and smooth.<br />
If you want the flavour of frozen yogurt,<br />
but don’t have an ice cream maker, freeze<br />
the liquid in a 10-inch baking pan. after 1 hour<br />
beat in the ice chunks with a whisk. Place<br />
the pan back in the freezer and whisk again<br />
after 45 minutes. Freeze for a third time, and<br />
whisk after 30 minutes. The goal is to bring<br />
a bit of air into the liquid so it doesn’t freeze<br />
into a solid ice cube. For really creamy ice<br />
cream, whisk another few times. Otherwise,<br />
leave the frozen yogurt to freeze solid in the<br />
baking pan.<br />
2 cups of yogurt<br />
1 cup of whipping cream<br />
½ cup of honey<br />
1 Tbsp vanilla extract<br />
Pinch of salt<br />
1. Freeze your ice cream maker for at least<br />
24 hours before making frozen yogurt.<br />
2. Mix the yogurt and whipping cream<br />
together.<br />
3. next stir in the honey. This is a bit<br />
tricky because the honey needs to be really<br />
runny in order to fully mix into the dairy.<br />
I recommend measuring the honey into a<br />
glass container, then microwaving it for<br />
20–40 seconds so that it is really liquidy.<br />
Whisk the whipping cream and yogurt while<br />
slowly dribbling in the honey so that it is<br />
fully combined.<br />
4. Stir in the vanilla and salt.<br />
5. Follow the instructions of your ice cream<br />
maker to churn the frozen yogurt. Transfer<br />
the frozen yogurt to a freezer container and<br />
freeze for at least 2 hours prior to serving.<br />
BEST BABY GIFT<br />
<strong>GRAND</strong><br />
<strong>Vol</strong>. IV, <strong>Ed</strong>. <strong>II</strong><br />
grandmag.ca<br />
GROWTH-SPURT FRIENDLY<br />
CLOTHING FOR BABIES & KIDS<br />
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Move Well &<br />
Age Gracefully<br />
Grandfathered<br />
An excerpt<br />
<strong>GRAND</strong><br />
<strong>Vol</strong>. IV, <strong>Ed</strong>. I<br />
grandmag.ca<br />
®<br />
Ways to Be<br />
a Fabulous<br />
10Grandparent<br />
<strong>GRAND</strong><br />
<strong>Vol</strong> 1, <strong>Ed</strong> 2<br />
grandmag.ca<br />
BECAUSE BABIES GROW<br />
Grandparenting<br />
from Afar<br />
From<br />
the Start<br />
A birth<br />
Q&A<br />
Victor & <strong>Ed</strong>ith<br />
Newman<br />
Master Carver<br />
& Textile Artist<br />
Rock the<br />
Podcast<br />
How to create<br />
—and launch—<br />
an engaging<br />
and entertaining<br />
podcast<br />
Running<br />
Your First 10k<br />
Close to Home<br />
Comox Valley<br />
Gordy Dodd<br />
Grandfather &<br />
Community<br />
Superhero<br />
Shots in a Snap<br />
Photographing<br />
Your Grandkids<br />
Emillie Parrish writes from Victoria<br />
and Saturna Island. She is the author<br />
of the Pacific Northwest lifestyle blog:<br />
BerriesandBarnacles.com.<br />
grandmag.ca<br />
Stories, Resouces and Inspiration to be<br />
the best <strong>GRAND</strong>parent and the best you!<br />
grandmag.ca<br />
<strong>Vol</strong>. IV, <strong>Ed</strong>. <strong>II</strong> 23
Grandparenting<br />
The Best Places on Vancouver<br />
Island for Family Photos<br />
Erin Wallis<br />
With the warmer weather and<br />
easier—or better yet, nonexistent!—schedule,<br />
summer<br />
is the ideal time to photograph family<br />
and friends. And what better place to<br />
do it than on Vancouver Island. Here,<br />
from 7 Island photographers, are a<br />
some of the most scenic and fun places<br />
for a photo shoot that are guaranteed<br />
to make you smile.<br />
Campbell River<br />
Off the top of my head, Saratoga<br />
Beach comes to mind. The reason I<br />
love Saratoga for generational images<br />
is the space you have there. It is ideal<br />
for spreading out! Especially for larger<br />
groups, another big consideration is<br />
accessibility for elderly/grandparents!<br />
Too many roots, stairs, unstable<br />
ground isn’t ideal for people with any<br />
difficulties and I find somewhere flat<br />
and easy ideal. Here are a few images I<br />
had from a Saratoga session.<br />
– Erin Wallis (erinwallis.com)<br />
24 Grand Ashley Marston<br />
grandmag.ca
Cowichan Valley<br />
For Mid Island, I would suggest Eves<br />
Park and Transfer Beach. Both locations<br />
are easy to find with quick easy<br />
access. First, get ready to have fun!<br />
Gone are the days that we all stand<br />
perfect in front of the camera and<br />
smile. Although it’s great to have one<br />
or two of those photos, my sessions<br />
are all about capturing the connection<br />
between family members and that<br />
means lots of interaction between myself<br />
and the family and all the family<br />
members themselves.<br />
– Ashley Marston<br />
(ashleymarstonbirthphotography.com)<br />
South Island<br />
Here’s my biggest advice: find a location<br />
you can get to within minutes<br />
of arriving. If you have little ones with<br />
you (grand littles) you have already<br />
used up most of their cooperation<br />
time getting them dressed up and<br />
driving to the location. If you have to<br />
walk a long distance to get to the perfect<br />
spot they will have zero love for<br />
you by the time you get there!<br />
This also works great for grandparents<br />
and seniors. If you can get there<br />
shortly upon arrival, it’s likely going<br />
to be more accessible to anyone with<br />
mobility challenges. Remember, light<br />
is more important than location and<br />
Maryam Morrison<br />
getting everyone together for photos<br />
is already considered success. Focus<br />
on everyone having a great experience<br />
and you are more likely to get better<br />
images you can look back on and enjoy<br />
for years to come.<br />
My fave spots include:<br />
Glencoe Cove Kwatsech Park. Big<br />
grassy field. Beautiful views of the<br />
ocean. Gorgous beach for those who<br />
can do stairs. All in one spot.<br />
Rowing Club at Elk Lake. HUGE<br />
grassy fields that look beautiful in<br />
summer and fall. The docks for the<br />
lake backdrop and lots of parking and<br />
washrooms.<br />
– Maryam Morrison<br />
(findyourlightphoto.com)<br />
Nicole Israel<br />
South Island<br />
When I have intergenerational<br />
shoots or clients who require easy location<br />
access, I recommend:<br />
Albert Head Lagoon in Metchosin.<br />
The parking lot is right next to the water,<br />
a beautiful mixture of water and<br />
forested scenery.<br />
Mount Tolmie in Saanich has a<br />
garry oak eco-system that offers a gorgeous<br />
view of Victoria. There is parking<br />
all the way up the mountain, so no<br />
hiking involved.<br />
Island View Beach in Saanich Peninsula<br />
provides different backdrop options,<br />
with the beach and ocean to one<br />
side, and a grassy field to other.<br />
– Nicole Israel<br />
grandmag.ca<br />
<strong>Vol</strong>. IV, <strong>Ed</strong>. <strong>II</strong> 25
Nature<br />
R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Find out<br />
what it means to me…<br />
Respectfully exploring seashores and parklands<br />
For countless generations, the Indigenous<br />
Peoples of the Lәḱәŋәn<br />
(Lekwungen), WSÁNEĆ, Scia’new<br />
and T’Sou-ke First Nations have been<br />
thoughtful caretakers of the lands<br />
within the Greater Victoria area. Living<br />
in respectful balance with all living<br />
things is a fundamental principle<br />
of their beliefs and is still the basis of<br />
their relationship with the land today.<br />
As a guest from the<br />
Kwakwaka’wakw Territory of the<br />
northeastern part of Vancouver Island,<br />
I share this sense of interconnection<br />
and balanced relationship.<br />
The people from my territory also believe<br />
that with respect, we appreciate<br />
the interconnection of all life and our<br />
essential part in the circle of life. This<br />
teaching and many others were taught<br />
to me as a child.<br />
I was six years old when I learned a<br />
valuable lesson about respectful exploration.<br />
My family had travelled up<br />
island to visit relatives in the village<br />
where my mother was born. We were<br />
attending a wonderful feast featuring<br />
some of my favourites, like clams,<br />
herring, sockeye salmon and ť’ɫi’na<br />
(oolichan grease), a type of fish oil<br />
and delicacy to Coastal First Nations.<br />
After the meal, the adults settled in to<br />
share family stories, histories and traditional<br />
songs and as much as I loved<br />
to listen to the elders sing and speak<br />
the language, my mind wandered to<br />
the beach.<br />
I wanted to flip over rocks, dig in<br />
the sand and scoop up whatever was<br />
hidden inside or underneath. While<br />
exploring, I picked up a large horse<br />
clam shell from the beach to hold what<br />
I found. A tiny sea star, hermit crab<br />
and sea snail were among some of<br />
my treasures, along with a few small<br />
stones that caught my eye. I added in a<br />
little sea water for my new friends and<br />
couldn’t wait to show the collection to<br />
my mother.<br />
I made my way back to my parents,<br />
and triumphantly stepped up to present<br />
my menagerie. The sadness that<br />
came into my mother’s eyes was deeply<br />
disappointing and I felt my excitement<br />
drain away. My mother gently<br />
26 Grand grandmag.ca
took the shell from my hand, looked<br />
inside and said, “I think your little<br />
friends are scared and I wonder what<br />
their parents are doing right now?”<br />
I remember looking away and<br />
shrugging my shoulders as my mother<br />
continued. “I don’t know what I would<br />
do if someone took you away from me.<br />
I would be heartbroken and would<br />
probably spend the rest of my life trying<br />
to find you.”<br />
That did it! I felt a wave of overwhelming<br />
regret and burst into tears.<br />
How could I have been so thoughtless?<br />
My mother gave be a reassuring hug<br />
and then accompanied me to return<br />
my ‘friends’ to their homes on the<br />
beach.<br />
As I grew up, I learned more about<br />
why First Peoples believe that all living<br />
things should be respected. From<br />
insects to eagles; from bees to bears;<br />
and from crabs to caribou, we believe<br />
that unless we have a purpose, like<br />
hunting, gathering or fishing, we do<br />
not have the right to disturb animals<br />
in their natural environment.<br />
While raising my own children we<br />
often spent time at the beach respectfully<br />
exploring. I let them know that<br />
it’s okay to turn over a rock or two and<br />
thoughtfully observe the creatures<br />
underneath. It’s okay to look inside a<br />
tide pool and watch the tentacles of a<br />
sea anemone sway back and forth in<br />
search of food.<br />
But I also let them know that it’s not<br />
okay to interfere with the animals.<br />
Instead, we learned about the traditional<br />
methods for harvesting and the<br />
multiple uses for plants and animals<br />
on the beach.<br />
In my capacity as the Cultural Programmer<br />
for CRD Regional Parks, it<br />
is my role to develop education programs<br />
with an emphasis on promoting<br />
and celebrating the cultural history of<br />
First Nations in CRD Regional Parks. I<br />
work with a dedicated team to ensure<br />
Indigenous cultural teachings are<br />
respectfully applied to researching,<br />
preparing, and delivering park interpretive<br />
programs. I am proud to say<br />
that our collaborative efforts are now<br />
an integral part of raising awareness<br />
of Indigenous Cultural heritage in Regional<br />
Parks.<br />
I am now a grandmother and looking<br />
forward to the days when I can<br />
pass along these teachings to my<br />
grandchildren and explain what<br />
R-E-S-P-E-C-T- means to me.<br />
Leslie McGarry is the Cultural Programmer<br />
at CRD Regional Parks. For up to<br />
date information on CRD Regional Parks,<br />
visit crd.bc.ca/parks.<br />
grandmag.ca<br />
<strong>Vol</strong>. IV, <strong>Ed</strong>. <strong>II</strong> 27
Health &<br />
Wellness<br />
Feelings First<br />
Helping your grandchildren navigate BC’s<br />
restart plan and new social situations<br />
With summer officially upon us<br />
and B.C. easing its pandemic<br />
restrictions, many families are<br />
turning their attention to social gatherings.<br />
Now that playdates and parties of<br />
up to 50 people are once again allowed,<br />
grandparents are excited to finally<br />
see their grandkids again, although<br />
some are expressing concerns with the<br />
impact of physical distancing on little<br />
kids’ development. Luckily, experts say<br />
you already have the tools it takes to<br />
support your grandchild’s social and<br />
emotional health.<br />
Whether it’s visiting a friend’s home<br />
or attending a birthday bash out in<br />
the park, these fun experiences may<br />
feel overwhelming for young children,<br />
especially those under six years of<br />
age. For some, these gatherings will be<br />
their first in over a year. Experts say<br />
it’s important to pay closer attention<br />
to your little ones during these times.<br />
“Caregivers can observe how their<br />
children are interacting with others<br />
in these new social settings,” says Dr.<br />
Anamaria Richardson, a Vancouverbased<br />
pediatrician. “It’s important to<br />
let children express their emotions<br />
and listen in a non-judgmental way.<br />
During this time, it’s most important<br />
for parents and caregivers to be present,<br />
not perfect. You know your child<br />
best, and you can trust your gut.”<br />
While being in these new situations<br />
may be stressful for some children, Dr.<br />
Richardson notes it’s not necessarily a<br />
bad thing.<br />
“Not all stress is bad stress. Small<br />
challenges help children cope with<br />
bigger ones. There are numerous<br />
opportunities in every child’s life to<br />
experience manageable stress—and<br />
with the help of supportive adults,<br />
this “positive stress” can be growthpromoting.”<br />
Children learn from making mistakes<br />
and trying again. Your positive<br />
response to those mistakes reinforces<br />
this process. Praise your child not only<br />
for their successes, but also for their<br />
willingness to try different things.<br />
In the early years, your grandchild’s<br />
social and emotional health is every<br />
bit as important as their physical<br />
health. It impacts how they express<br />
emotions, deal with stress, develop<br />
friendships, and helps to determine<br />
their connections to the world around<br />
them through stories, conversations<br />
and play.<br />
Michelle Horn is a mother of two<br />
young kids, and a program manager<br />
with BC Children’s Hospital Kelty<br />
Mental Health Resource Centre. In<br />
a few weeks, she’s planning the first<br />
visit with her kids’ grandparents in<br />
over a year—a big moment after a long<br />
time apart.<br />
Horn says if your grandchild is feeling<br />
stressed or anxious in new situations,<br />
physical touch like holding,<br />
hugging or cuddling your little one<br />
can help.<br />
“Healthy touch is an essential part of<br />
healthy child development. From birth,<br />
physical contact between caregiver and<br />
child promotes brain development,<br />
creates attachment, and helps children<br />
feel more secure and connected to you.<br />
It also supports their development and<br />
helps to build their brain.”<br />
Paying attention to your grandchild’s<br />
feelings in new social situations,<br />
and talking about them, is also<br />
important. It can ease their anxieties<br />
in the moment, and also help them to<br />
28 Grand grandmag.ca
learn how to express and process feelings,<br />
which helps children grow into<br />
emotionally healthy adults.<br />
“Social and emotional development<br />
starts early. From recognizing<br />
emotions to just talking and hugging,<br />
small things make a big difference,”<br />
says Horn. “Research shows that longterm,<br />
fostering early social and emotional<br />
development in the early years<br />
leads to healthy brain development,<br />
success in school, increased community<br />
involvement, and even success in<br />
future employment.”<br />
The need to foster healthy social<br />
and emotional development in young<br />
kids became more evident when the<br />
COVID-19 pandemic first kicked off in<br />
the spring of 2020. Based on evidence<br />
from early childhood development, a<br />
provincial group of B.C. organizations<br />
and experts got to work to develop<br />
resources for parents and caregivers.<br />
The result: the Feelings First social<br />
media campaign.<br />
“Families told us they needed more<br />
information about ways to better support<br />
their children in the early years,<br />
especially during the challenging<br />
time of COVID-19,” says Sana Fakih,<br />
provincial lead of early years health<br />
& wellness at Child Health BC. “The<br />
Feelings First campaign was created<br />
based on research and feedback from<br />
parents and caregivers. It’s had great<br />
results so far, with more than 60 organizations<br />
involved.”<br />
With short, simple messages like “It<br />
feels good to talk about feelings” and<br />
“Routines relieve stress,” the campaign<br />
has reached thousands of parents<br />
and caregivers with hundreds of<br />
thousands of impressions online.<br />
“This is just a first step in what we<br />
hope to do in B.C.,” says Fakih. “We<br />
hope families can use these messages<br />
to help their young children enjoy<br />
visiting with friends and relatives this<br />
summer and beyond.”<br />
For more information on the campaign,<br />
go to feelingsfirst.ca or follow<br />
@Feelingsfirst.ca on social media.<br />
– Provincial Health Services Authority<br />
GET CLOSER<br />
the-raptors.com<br />
W e w e l c o m e a l l a g e s<br />
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T R E E T<br />
grandmag.ca<br />
<strong>Vol</strong>. IV, <strong>Ed</strong>. <strong>II</strong> 29
Community<br />
The Value of <strong>Vol</strong>unteering<br />
What kind of volunteer opportunities<br />
are out there?<br />
If you can imagine it, it might exist!<br />
Modern volunteering appeals to<br />
almost any hobby, interest or skill—<br />
from fashion stylist to acting as a<br />
board member, there’s always something<br />
for everyone.<br />
<strong>Vol</strong>unteers do not get paid, but<br />
there is always a return on your volunteering<br />
investment. People volunteer<br />
for all types of reasons – to give<br />
back, to learn, to make friends, or to<br />
add something new to their resume or<br />
share a skill with others.<br />
What kind of things will nonprofits<br />
ask me for when I apply?<br />
<strong>Vol</strong>unteer Victoria works with more<br />
than 300 non-profit organizations and<br />
each one has a slightly different volunteer<br />
application and intake process.<br />
Depending on the position, you may<br />
be asked to:<br />
• complete an application form<br />
• send your resume and references<br />
• meet for an interview<br />
• get a police check<br />
• get a child welfare check<br />
• attend an orientation<br />
• attend specialized training<br />
How do I find the perfect volunteer<br />
position?<br />
<strong>Vol</strong>unteer Victoria’s database hosts<br />
more than 300 volunteer positions,<br />
which can be a little overwhelming.<br />
Choosing a volunteer position is the<br />
hardest part of volunteering!<br />
Before you begin your search, think<br />
about the following questions. Be honest<br />
with yourself!<br />
Questions to ask yourself:<br />
Why do you want to volunteer?<br />
How much time do you have to commit?<br />
Do you want to volunteer for one<br />
day or something ongoing?<br />
Do you want to volunteer with your<br />
head or your hands?<br />
Are there any specific causes that<br />
interest you?<br />
Are you looking to do a certain kind<br />
of activity?<br />
Is there an age demographic you are<br />
most comfortable working with?<br />
What skills do you want to learn or<br />
are you looking for job experience?<br />
What kind of surroundings would<br />
you like to be in?<br />
What special skills or talents do you<br />
have to offer?<br />
Do you have any limitations that you<br />
will need to fit into your position?<br />
What kind of volunteer work would<br />
you dislike?<br />
Do you want to volunteer in a team,<br />
alone on individual projects, or from<br />
home?<br />
Would you consider a virtual or micro<br />
volunteering position?<br />
How do I use the database to get<br />
started volunteering in Greater<br />
Victoria?<br />
1. Think about what kind of volunteer<br />
opportunity you want.<br />
2. Search <strong>Vol</strong>unteer Victoria’s online<br />
database. If you need help finding<br />
a position book an appointment to<br />
meet with a volunteer advisor.<br />
3. Select your favourite<br />
volunteer opportunities:<br />
volunteervictoriaadvisors.<br />
secure.simplybook.me/<br />
4. Learn more about the organizations/causes<br />
and then apply to the<br />
organizations using the <strong>Vol</strong>unteer<br />
Victoria database or directly through<br />
the organization’s website.<br />
5. Start making a difference.<br />
For more information on volunteering,<br />
visit <strong>Vol</strong>unteer Victoria at<br />
volunteervictoria.bc.ca.<br />
30 Grand grandmag.ca
Breathe some fun into<br />
your summer with<br />
outdoor spin classes,<br />
yoga, boot camps<br />
and Zumba.<br />
Join us outside in Central Park<br />
and on the spacious grass field<br />
at Royal Athletic Park.<br />
victoria.ca/recreation | 250.361.0732<br />
Fort Rodd Hill and<br />
Fisgard Lighthouse<br />
National Historic Sites<br />
Let your imagination run wild! Explore<br />
Fort Rodd Hill—a 100-year-old coast<br />
artillery fort—and feel history come alive<br />
at Fisgard—the oldest lighthouse on the<br />
west coast! Connect to nature at this<br />
beautiful coastal location, just 20 minutes<br />
west of downtown Victoria.<br />
Visit the website regularly for up-to-date<br />
information on what is open, what is<br />
closed, and how to be safe when you visit.<br />
Free admission for youth 17 and under.<br />
Adult $7.90; Senior $6.60.<br />
pc.gc.ca/fortroddhill<br />
250-478-5849<br />
Facebook.com/FortRoddFisgardNHS<br />
Twitter.com/FortRoddFisgard<br />
grandmag.ca<br />
<strong>Vol</strong>. IV, <strong>Ed</strong>. <strong>II</strong> 31
Your donations help Family Services of Greater Victoria<br />
provide the following professional programs<br />
and services to families in the region.<br />
Family Services<br />
of Greater Victoria<br />
Programs and Services<br />
Caught in the Middle<br />
Counselling/Therapy Services<br />
Art/Play Therapy Techniques<br />
Facilitated Parent–Child Connection<br />
In-Person & Telehealth Services<br />
Mediation for Couples<br />
New Ways for Families ®<br />
Parent Support & Resources<br />
Separation Resource Services<br />
Support for Grandparents<br />
Learn more about our services and how to donate<br />
250-386-4331 www.fsgv.org