The Under Review - Issue 4 | Summer 2021

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“Actually, it’s more like one-Mississippi, two-Mississipp-“
“No, 1.8 is less than two seconds. You can’t count two if it’s less than two seconds.”
“But two is really the beginning of the second second. The number plus Mississippi is one second. One-
Mississippi – that’s one second.”
“See what I said?” Blackburn said, taking a step back to talk to the catcher. “We’ve got Baseball Einstein
over here. Better not bring any books in my clubhouse. Magazines either. Unless they’re dirty.”
The second baseman and third baseman counted on their fingers, mouthing the numbers as they went.
The second baseman looked up in amazement almost immediately, though the third baseman shook his
head and went through the exercise again.
“He’s right,” the second baseman said. “Look at this.”
He counted to ‘five-Mississippi’ for the benefit of the group, all of whom, save for Collier and Blackburn,
gave excited nods as if they were encountering a heretofore unknown species.
“Man, I’ve got to re-think so many assumptions,” the third baseman said.
“It doesn’t matter!” Collier said. “Even if it is one-Mississippi, two-Mississipp-, that’s still not very long. Not
worth throwing at someone over.”
His teammates nodded in agreement. Ryan let his hand twist from side to side in what he hoped was a kind
of gentle dissent.
“Stoner’s your teammate now,” Collier said. “You’ve got to stand up for him. Show them that the Blue Jays
don’t let people throw at them.”
“But I’m the one who—”
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